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*Electrical hum*
*Synth Music*
[GREG] So you guys are gonna get me sleeping, and then me waking up right?
[CREW] Yes, yeah, yeah- we literally just finished discussing ...
*Greg grunts*
Now this is my favorite part of every morning.
I boot up my computer and I see what kind of feedback I've been getting since I was asleep.
Cause, you know, you sleep for ten hours you don't know what people are saying about you.
What's a let's play? Well have you guys seen Mystery Science Theater? No?
Well neither have I but I hear it's very similar to that. so what you do is you
So what you do is take a source material, with the let's play specifically you take a video game
and you play it like a normal customer would but if you're funny if you have
the gift you talk over it and you make jokes and you tell stories and people
watch it because they're not just interested in the game they're interested in me!
When this light turns on
no more cool, funny, everybody's friend, just Greg. No no no no, when the light is
on you get Lazergreg. Your even cooler even funnier even more interesting best friend!
[GREG] Haha! All right everyone, I'm walking around I
don't know if I'm supposed to kill this guy but whatever! I'm just gonna...
Is that a rock?
I've committed to doing let's plays professionally, full-time,
about a year ago. I used to be in college, I don't to brag or anything, but it was
the fifth highest rated community college and on the west coast
I have always thought of myself as a very creative person. ALWAYS. when I was a
little kid and I was in grade school I would never pay attention in class!
Schools aren't a place for creative people. I'm an artist what do you- what
I'm gonna get a degree, and then get a nine-to-five job with insurance and
benefits and stuff? No you can't be an artist and have a job.
But, you know, I still have a regular job- I had to get, my parents said I had to
[GREG'S MOM] It did seem a little weird to us at first but you know as a mother I had to take a step back
and help Greg because I want to see him reach his full potential.
[GREG'S DAD] It- it still doesn't make any sense to me...
This is my computer! Built her myself- I kinda...
of kind of a techie. She served me very well like this thing she can survive
[SLAM] anything that I put her through you know?
Well if you asked me a month ago I would say thirty.
If you ask me now- how many subscribers I have now... uh more than that...
You guys are subscribed right?
[CREW] Uh- yeah yeah yeah I will, eventually yeah absolutely yeah possibly yeah yeah I did
yeah good!
I don't think people understand what it takes to do what I do
okay at a regular job you just do your job! You just do your work, but when you're a
let's player you have to be funny!
Gaaaaaaaaay- this game is gaaaaaaaay!
ALL THE TIME!
just stop you can't just take a break that is thousands of hours recording it
and playing it and editing it and in those thousands of hours you have to be
making jokes the entire time because my audience my loving audience expects me
to be funny
That's pretty funny...
oh! you know what slavery! [typing]
Vincent van Gogh paints the Mona Lisa and he spends
thousands of hours painting this thing and he dies poor now imagine some guy
draws a funny mustache on the Mona Lisa and he makes 500 million dollars.
Who would you rather be? I want to be the guy drawing mustache!
I want to be the millionaire! Cuz that's what this is it's it's taking something that exists and
making it better and being recognized for that. Being BIG! I mean who are the
developers who made Call of Duty or Bioshock or Doom? You don't know but you
know PewDiePie and it's hard it's really it's really hard and people people don't
understand what it takes to do what I do!
It's just you know- I just gotta find my audience...
[Clicks refresh button]
it's got one like...
[TITLE MUSIC]
[GREG'S DAD] The hardest part is trying to explain it to our friends...
[GREG'S MOM] a lot of our friends have been asking about him... and if he's okay
You know from the outside, people just seem to think that Greg doesn't have a job
plays video games all day and doesn't seem to be doing anything with his life
[GREG] All right! Here we are, you guys are seeing me and my second job. This is my
call it my civilian job!
[MR. NYCHO] Yeah, we hired uh, Grade, a while ago. He's all right I guess
does what we tell him to.
[GREG] It really is unbelievable
seeing the sheer amount of joy on a person's face when he hand them a steaming pile of za.
This must be what Steve Jobs feels like every single day
Except instead of delivering iPhones delivering pizza!
[GREG'S DAD] Wetold him he didn't get a job, we'd kick him out of the house.
It's given me a whole new perspective cuz I see I see how they live and it's been very humbling!
Do you think I'm humble?
What? Do you think I'm a humble person?
[DOOR CLOSES]
[MR NYCHO] He does seem kind of in his own head a bit though I mean which is normal for a
kid his age still trying to figure out what I do with his life and all that..
*CAR HONKING* [GREG] Oh! Greg's gonna hit the car! Whoa!
[MR NYCHO] yeah he's nice to have around.. He's the only one that likes Kevin.
Did you was your hands Kevin?
[GREG] You guys know Kevin right?
[CREW] Uh... I don't uh... no... ah
[GREG] You guys know Kevin! Come on he's in a lot of my videos if you guys watch my
videos like you've been bound to have heard Kevin!
[KEVIN] Watch this...
Hi, welcome to Perry's... I'd hi thanks for calling Perry's I'd like to thank you
for.... What would you like to order?
[GREG] I've got a lot of friends but Kevin has
definitely risen to the top he doesn't say much but when he does say something
gold!
[KEVIN] Hey hey, Greg..
Hey!
more like all the FARTS you could eat!
*Greg laughs hysterically*
[MR NYCHO] You guys are all so nice to have around!
The crew adds an interesting element.
People are you're making a real movie!
[GREG] Right now I have a rapidly growing
fanbase of highly dedicated highly motivated Lazergreg fan boys... and girls
I'm very inclusive. I like to call them my greggies... No, my La- my Lazies, Lazys?
My Lazys! Anyway I think it's super important to stay connected with your
fans it's good to remind them that I'm just another average, norma,l down to
earth, average...
celebrity!
So that's why I host a weekly comment reaction video
for my griggers.
I don't just consider them to be my fans some of them I consider
them to be my friends...
Some of them even my best friends! you got Fedora Logan
spiderchan69, lavacraft, NaziDogg, Peter Stormaretrooper and of course
puppyluvr..
[GREG'S MOM] Oh yeah I'm subscribed absolutely!
I I try to watch all of his videos.
[GREG- on phone speaker] Alright guys check this out!
[GREG- on phone speaker] OOOOOOOH! HE BLEW UP!! That's crazyyyy!
Alright!
So here we are next comment reaction video.
Uuhh, first comment says
"nice vid!"
Nice vid... wow...
Thank you so much that means a lot to me man
I worked really hard on this one... Part 18 was...
Thank you.
*Greg Laughs*
My boy!
Nazi D! my Grigger! Alright what's he gotta say?
"I think you can make your commentaries a little more engaging
if the editing was a little tighter.
Just a thought thought smiley face" well
What the frick are you talking about NaziDogg?
he's trolling he's always doing this! it's crazy,
What an idiot. Alright next comment!
So um...
Those are all of the the comments this week if you guys want to
be on the next week's comment reaction video just leave a comment.. and um..
LAZERGREEEEEEG out! Alright...
FRICK!
[CREW] Greg what did the comment say?
What do you think it said? Huh?
It's right there on the stupid screen!
I'm shitting, you want to join me?
[GREG] Kevin [KEVIN] uh-huh
[GREG] I was thinking. what we could do for the next stream is
we could wear silly hats or something like that you think that'd be cool?
You think that'd be funny? [KEVIN] ah....
[GREG] We could wear San Francisco Giants Hats!
[KEVIN] Right...
That'd be funny! Get it? Cuz they're gay.
Oh...
[KEVIN] I didn't know they were gay...
Of course they are!
I don't think people would like that though it's like hurtling..
Oh yeah
joke's pretty highbrow
yeah
Frick Kevin we got to think of something we need we
need a hook to get people watching Kevin think of something!
Okay.
I'm doing all the thinking!
We don't have to wear silly hats...
we could just eat peppers!
Kevin
that is an a-plus idea Kevin! That's a good freakin idea! You see what we can do
when we work together when we put our heads together you see what we can
accomplish? This is exactly what I'm talking about, the dynamic duo, the dream
team. This is what it's all about!
[MR NYCHO] GREG! NO! No! Nooo! Y
You know you're not supposed to do that
I was putting it back!
Did you even wash your hands?
*soft thud*
[MR NYCHO] *Sighs*
Fucking....
[GREG] He's jealous Kevin don't let him bother you
[KEVIN] Uh.. are you still my ride for tonight?
Oh yeah buddy! For sure!
Before I drop you off, can we still stream tonight?
I have homework...
When's it due?
Tomorroooow...
Well then do it tomorrow!
It'll be fine! We're streaming Kevin! It's gonna be sweet
[GREG] What's up everybody? It's your old buddy Lazergreg, I'm back! and- don't wave
there's no camera. And I'm joined by my buddy Kevin!
Kevin it's really embarrassing having to say your real name on this dream dude..
Well it's not as
embarrassing as having to say Laser-Greg
okay Kevin- my name is cool!
alright? and besides every big youtuber has like a cool youtuber name!
You know there's actually uh a YouTube celebrity that lives near here?
Uuuuhhh no
I would think you know him..
never heard anything about that...
okay..
But you know what? Fun fact: there is a guy who
lives around here who makes like YouTube videos you know for fun like as a hobby
I don't know if you know him though he's kind of small it's-
his name is DanMark...
Oh yeah!
Wait, oh yeah that's what I was talking about!
You... You'd call DanMark.. like you'd go as far as to
call him a celebrity?
Well he has like, what 700,000 subscribers? that's kind of a lot..I'd say that's YouTube
celebrity status..
Kevin subscribers aren't everything! I mean this videos aren't
even really my thing anyway, you know? So I guess that's why he's not
really lik-e that why don't really think of him that way...
but like he does Let's Plays and
we do let's plays...
No no no, Kev- it's not this it's not the same thing
like okay I can see the similarities okay I'm not an idiot.
Right...
But like what we do is different artistically.. like comparing apples
Okay..
To oranges...
To green apples!
So green apples different colors different
..tastes! They're like different the fruits all together-
Where are we supposed to be going?
I actually saw him- he came to the pizza place a few couple days ago he had a big order-
He was at the pizza place?
Pizza place...
Doing what!?
He bought pizza- what else would he do? He bought a lot of
pizza it was like for a party or something uh.. He seemed really nice and cool and chill
Yeah I mean he is cool! Because he's like got a cool sense of
style and he's got a cool house supposedly he gives to charity or whatever...
I know DanMark!
Yeah! we go way back way back oh yeah!
That's cool!
It is cool! Like I am cool for knowing him.
We've been- I don't want to say rivals,
but we've been like like friendly competitors for a really really really
long time.
Okay!
Hey, you seem to know him pretty well.
Well, he knows me too.
did you get invited to the party?
Kevin I- I get invited to like all sorts of
parties like I can't even keep track of the parties I HAVE to go to- and so I was
absolutely invited to this one.
uh-hey yeah yeah!
Yeah but I don't know
if I'm gonna go because there's just- there's... because, you know... we have a lot
of it's a job you... YOU know what Kevin?! we completely forgot I died earlier, and we're
supposed to eat the peppers so let's do that.. now.
Okay? Cool awesome there they
are! We have a bowl right there it's- we don't have a webcam like I said so it's
gonna be all yeah audio yeah I'll take that.
You ready?
Let's light this bitch!
No I'm not strong enough you have to go first
uh kay
Wait! Don't be a hero Kevin I can do it. We're gonna do it at the same time okay
Okay.
*peppers crunch*
Uah.. my god...
Ow-
[KEVIN] Mmm
OW! OW!!
OOOWWWW!!! Oh my god it's so hot!
*pepper crunch*
It's also pretty tasty!
Guah, no it isn't!! -OW!!
OH MY GOD!!
Greg, have you not swallowed yet?
NO!
It's so hot!
Do you want me to swallow for you?
NO KEVIN! Don't be gross!!
OH MY GOD!
KEVIN CUT THE STREAM
Cut the stream right now!
How?
YOU PUSH THE BUTTON THAT SAYS STOP IDIOT!
Okay I got it, thank God.
Oh my God , Kevin you gotta go get me milk- you gotta go give me milk right now!
I need it
Okay!
I NEEEED IT!
It's so hot!
Oh God!
*swallows throwup* WHY?
Why did you let me do this?
Why would people do this for views?
FOR STUPID VIEWS!
Greg here's your milk
Gimme!
*Spits up into bowl*
*Drinking milk*
*Gasp*
This kind of crap.. ugh-
is below- below us! We can't do this to ourselves
You think this is below us?
Just wait until you shit it out, it's gonna be fuckin' hot!
I can't think of that right now Kevin we got to be smart about this okay. We have to think of a way to
get views
So what are we gonna do?
Hey-
Uh
That youtuber party that DanMark was throwing- uh
Do you remember when that was gonna be?
Do you remember when that was?
*muffled music*
*Door opening*
HEEEEEEYYY! Did somebody order a pizza?
Haha- um we did, a while ago...
Oh- Uuuuhhhh
like but
we got it...
you're not missing one? you're not missing one
Uuuuhh- no I don't think so...
I heard- I mean they called me to come over here to deliver one are you sure?
I don't know.. I mean probably! Okay..
How long are we gonna keep doing this man?
Doing... what? Pizza- stuff?
No it's me!
Greg!
Lazergreg?
DanMark!
from?
high school!
my name's mark...
you know me man!
Aahhhhh-
It's ringing some bells right?
yeah...
How do you forget this face? So you having like a like
a party or something fun going on in there?
Yeah it's just this little get-together, I actually gotta get back-
Is that Markiplier?!? Is that Markiplier?
[DanMark] You know what, I think I think I do remember Greg! Yeah! we were both in the same
oral comm class that's right he Greg
delivered one of the most enchanting monologues that I've ever heard...
I'm just kidding, I never took an oral comm class, but he seems like an okay guy I mean he
brought his own pizza!
He's a let's player? That's that's pretty cool! Maybe I'll
check out his channel sometime. You know sometimes those little guys they deserve
the attention.. sometimes they make the best content too
[GREG] Oh, I'm a girl, I'm just gonna fucking kill myself, hold on.
Other times...
[JULIE] I always thought I had a big family, but-
Hey!
Hi, what's up? How many subscribers do you have?
On what?
*greg laughs*
On YouTube idiot, how many subscribers you have on YouTube?
Um like
300,000 or so...
What?! Are you serious?! You?!
Hahahahahow do you have so many?
My boyfriend has much more so-
Oh I get it..
You gotta get those views any way you can, right?
What do you mean?
Well I mean come on like, those aren't really your views right?
I mean they're only watching you because of DanMark right?
No!
What do you what do you like what kind of videos do you make?
Oh! um I meanI have a few videos, mostly just of my cats.
How many views could those possibly get?
Well actually there's one of yeah of my cat Wu-Wu reacting to popcorn!
Okay-
It's really cute!
It sounds cute.
That one has about 3,000 views...
cool.
Markiplier! Markiplier! Mark- Mar.. have you seen Markiplier... around here? No?
[DANMARK] Heeeeeeeyyyyyy
Who is that?
That's- That's Greg!
Wha- What is he doing here?
Uh- I dunno! He kinda just walked in!
Haha
Well, he is weird and he is making everyone uncomfortable so you need to go talk to him!
Yo! Greg! How about you and I, we go over here?
He is awesome I mean I how
cool is it that he's invited me to his big youtuber party I mean obviously I
bring a lot to the table so this is as much of a favor for him as it is for me
I don't know about this man I feel a little nervous I don't know if I can do this..
Why not? come on.
I'm surrounded by all these like YouTube celebrities like
all this talent that's weird..
nah not all my friends are YouTube celebrities Greg
basically all of his friends are famous I mean I'm I'm swimming with the sharks
out here okay and I'm a big shark but these sharks are even bigger than I am
and if those sharks are bigger than this shark like just just imagine how big
those sharks might be...
it makes you think
wow those are some big sharks...
*phone ringing*
Hahahaha, whooo! Fans!
Where the hell is he?
Stop calling me!
You have fans that call you?
Do they call you regularly?
Mm-hmm, yeah I do
Oh man yeah it's sucks dude
I don't think it your number are you getting hacked or they like messing with
you I know some people that can help you out cuz I have my shi-stuff hacked-
oh no no no!
My griggers- very sneaky like thieves in the night!
How bout! we uh we watch a- uh we have a
YouTube video! One of your YouTube videos! Let's watch it
Yeah!
Yah!
Yeah. yah yah yah yah yah ya
I could show you like one two or how ever many you want to look at. We gotta whole night ahead of us!
We got a whol- a groovy night! Yeah dude!
It's important I think to you know support the the smaller channels on YouTube you
know especially as they're growing it's tough, it is tough when you're starting out!
You know what it was.
it all started for me with my uh my younger brother and
I we would we would play video games for hours you know he would watch me play
you know our parents would get so mad because we'd spent so many hours and
hours eating junk food playing games and then he died
*laughs* I'm just-
guys I'm just kidding this joke he's upstairs running around, acting like a
goofball I'm sure. But he told me how much he liked watching videos of other
people playing video games and then posting him online and it didn't make
sense to me at the time you know I thought it was really pointless so I started making my own
[Greg over phone speaker] You should really have a button where you know if a character is
gay or not just like just so you know if you want to like if you're do hate gay people you can kill them
you know how about we get some head phones for that!
Wait what? Got some
Some Headphones! why what are you doing?
Well there's a lot of people here they're trying to have a conversation and I think you know
we just want to keep this between us two youtubers you know what I'm sayin?
No! What are you talking about? They'll love it! Besides my video is more
interesting than their boring conversation anyway
ya- no.. uh ya- no
and then I got lucky again, overnight one of my videos just went pwshooo and I've been
pretty doing pretty well ever since but being honest you know I'm scraping the
bottom of the barrel which is sad, because I'm just
being myself come back in a couple years and all I might have left are some fart
jokes, a cool jacket and- poop jokes..
[Greg over phone speaker] alright guys so I just farted! which means I gotta take a shit!
[Greg over phone speaker] so that's a good time to end the stream Lazergreg out!
Is it over? it says there's 20 minutes left
oh I forgot to stop the recording so I
just uploaded the whole thing!
You know you coulda editted that stuff out?
*snickering*
oh?
yeah I think people would be less inclined to watch something that's 55
minutes long compared to something that's like you know like 35 minutes on
or something like that-
[GIRL AT PARTY] yeah that'll make it better
Whoa! oh oh hey hey hey you know the rules here good vibes only all right we're all
hermanos here anyways I'm saying is uh what you just showed me
was a success because you put it out there there are so many people that you
talk talk talk all day about grading people didn't ever do it alright
that being said I think you can make it a little bit shorter because my YouTube
analytics show me and this is you know I've been in the game for a while now
buddy. My shorter videos they do better than my longer videos- and if you
just if you just make them shorter that you you got it
He gets it... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
get out get out right now get out of here
*party noises*
what are you still doing here we're closed
Hey! Greg! I thought you left so um-
no no I didn't but I'm leaving now so yeah I'm getting out of here
okay- you alright?
I'm fine
you sure?
I'm positive I'm positive I'm great
you sure?
don't I look great?
Don't touch me
Why don't you just a little longer I'll get you a drink here I'll go get-
I don't want any more drinks okay I don't anything to do with any of you this was stupid
I'm sorry I thought it would help you I thought I could-
Oh! You thought you could help me! oh it's just me Greg! I always need help don't I always need
help from you well you know what I don't need your help I never needed your help
look look how you're looking at me I can see it I see it in all your eyes you
don't think that you can judge me and you can just poop all over my
accomplishments because every single one of you has more subscribers than me you
know what you you should have never invited me to your stupid youtuber party
anyway!
[PARTY GUEST] The party is better without him!
everyone who knows me knows that I love criticism I need criticism I feed
off of it because you can't get better unless you accept criticism that's how
you become the best and that's what I want to be I want to be the best but it
has to be constructive yeah no one's gonna help anyone if you're just being
mean it was just being a super jerk okay I'm my biggest critic and I say I'm
great and everybody thinks Denmark is so great cuz he's got a cool jacket and a
hot girlfriend everyone thinks he's amazing so where does he get off judging
me telling me that I'm no good a fellow creator that's not that's not the code
man from now on I'm gonna live by what I said
I still have my channel, my career and my job- You can't take that from me!
[MR NYCHO] Greg! come here
what's up boss?
you're fired
Kevin did it
you never made it back from your delivery, you never even MADE a delivery, and I had to give them 30% off their
next purchase and Kevin had to do it
told you Kevin did it
If that was the only thing you did I'd still fire you
name one other thing I did you can't do it you've never done anything name one other thing
I've been receiving complaints about people having their toppings... rearranged have you been
tampering with toppings?
PEOPLE LIKE IT!?! ok I customize their pizza experience it's FUN
Okay so this is what I do right I like to personalize every single customer's
pizza because you know customer service comes first and I want them to know I
want to know they didn't just get a regular old pizza that they paid for
they got a pizza from Greg a Lazergreg pizza
It's not fun it's disgusting it's disgusting it's gross
it's more fun than disgusting
no no I know that you don't wash your hands. Ok can I ask you guys to leave?
[CREW] Oh- yeah guys let's get outta here
[CREW] Greg, we'll see you later...
So... the manager and I had some
creative differences
you are disgusting you think you just
touch pizzas like that he just rub your dirty grubs all over them! you are the
stupidest person I've ever met you think that's ok think it's fun
that's what I get for working with the enemy cuz you know what that that's what this is it's
a war between the blue-collar and the artists apparently there's no room for
art in pizza believe me I tried but, no, you know what this taught me? this
taught me that I've been distracted okay I have to focus all my efforts back
into my YouTube channel because this is how they get you with you they attempt
to you with pizza and money and then that's it you're dead you're one of them
there's just a mindless blue-collar drone out to kill art
[KEVIN] hey dude, thanks for the
Exactly Kevin ice cream ice cream is art that's something and Mr. Nycho would
never understand he just cares about about money on the bottom line
so um are you gonna try and do now, you gonna try and make some good videos?
no Kevin I'm going to make the best videos
Okay!
yeah! good idea!
It is! So guess what we're doing a stream tonight
you and me Kevin
oh... do you need me to help you?
Of course I need you to help me Kevin you're my
friend all right but also we are partners we're in this together okay you
were always telling me that I I worked too hard but now we're gonna work even
harder as a team we are the dynamic duo of YouTube and you're my sidekick
yes!
yes and now there's nothing we can't accomplish not one we're together
nothing!
Nothing! Nothing!
I can't stream tonight..
have you not been listening to a thing I've said ?
I've been doing some thinking and something really important about
being creative is the ability to continue learning I've been in the game
for a very long time but that doesn't mean that there's not opportunities to
improve it says Mercury playback to space ingest settings it's got a
stomach premier has a stomach? what did I do? do any of you guys know how
to edit? do you know how to edit?
[CREW] like pretty much all of us know how to edit...
So this is your clip right? Like this is the one you're gonna use I guess
yeah that's the video okay
so you basically in this first window you can select what parts of it you want
to use so let's say you want to use this part where you're shooting that-
I wanna use all of it! That's the whole video
Well that's the thing with editing is you don't want to use all of it
why would I want less gold?
because like there's lots of parts where you like you go to the bathroom and stuff and like you
I can cut those out? yeah
it's gonna take hours for one
video that I don't even know where to start
okay it is 3:34 in the morning- the witching hour... oh it's not like a
scary movie or anything there's no ghosts well I'm recording this because I
wanted to show you guys that I finished editing I am like an editing ninja I'm
just cutting all the chaff like this is a skill I never know I had I have to cut
a lot of gold though it was very hard to get rid of some of that gold but video
is about 30 minutes now I think I have to say that this is the best video I've
ever made I have to sleep till 1:00 if I want to get my full 10 hours
Gonna have to kick him
off my bed
frick... he's so peaceful
Good morning
good afternoon
so did you guys hear the news
no what news?
I have decided to make a youtube comeback
that's great!
you still have that job at the pizza place right?
yeah- of duh I'm working mornings now so I
can focus on making videos
why didn't you work this morning
I had the day off!
Well it must have been nice to get some rest and did you have fun with your friends last night?
mom, I keep telling you they are not my friends, they're just making a movie about me
you had a sleepover with people that aren't your friends?
*greg fake laughs*
you're not listening you're not listening to me! this is good news guys I'm back I'm
making it I'm back guys as long
as you have a job
[GREG] yeah it was really hard lying
to my folks but I'd like to think that they do the same thing in my position
because all they ever want to do is support me and help me I'm striving for
something greater than they could possibly imagine
I want to tell them it's true trust me I'd rather I rather tell them the truth
but they would want me to lie to them because it's what's best for me so if
you think about it I'm not lying to them.. I'm lying for them...
alright everybody I'm
off to work now
all right so here's what I do okay I
wake up super early like 8:30 right before my parents go to work I jump in
my car drive around the corner park it then they leave hop the back fence jump
through the window
guys didn't want help? and that's it how would they even know? who orders a pizza
in the morning
so I know Gregory is lying to us even if I didn't see him
climb through his window the pizza place doesn't even open until 11 o'clock and
I'm still subscribed to his YouTube channel
[GREG] alright guys I'm back I'm just
ditching work forever cuz I quit my job at the pizza place so now I'm gonna be
playing a lot more games for you guys I'm going to be uploading probably four
times a day now
[GREG'S MOM] I leave comments but I guess he doesn't know it's me
I can't tell my husband he'll kick Greg out
{falsetto} It's foolproof!
Synth music
click
more intense synth music
Kevin hi yeah listen I'm gonna get you right now
I don't care that you're at school Kevin all right it's important just tell them
that you're sick or something make yourself barf listen I'm gonna be there
in 10 minutes 10 minutes Kevin it's gonna be 10 minutes it's fine
[GREG] get in!
You said you'd be 10 minutes!
I was really hungry at stop somewhere to get food
Well, what dd we get?
MINE!
we have peanuts in my house you can eat there.
what makes a video big you know we could do you know those videos
where like someone dies so I can real life they're dead but they died in like
a really funny way we could do that people always click on those
are we gonna kill someone Greg?
no it's lightning in a bottle has to
look natural there'd be no way we could make it look good
Well- when I click on a video it's
usually because it has a cold picture or boobies
I know what we should do
or a red circle
Kevin shut up okay Stop talking!
okay..
we have to make our thumbnails better think
about it the thumbnail it's the first thing someone sees when they click on a
video and if that looks good then the video has to be good Kevin let's talk
about you when you click on a video what's the thumbnail look like what is
it say Kevin Kevin answer the question you never say anything say something
real Kevin say anything real what would you click on what do you look
at what is the video? Uuuuhhhhh...
Katy Perry's nipples!
would you click that video
I do I always do
and the ones that look like they prove aliens exist
we figured it out it was right here!
not on the board idiot
stop looking it's not on the board
are you gonna write something on the board
no I'm not gonna write something on the board I already said the idea
they filmed it
but there's video ideas otherwise what's the whole entire point
of having this why'd you- now you're missing an eye
That's uh-
now you're missing your face
turn the fucking cameras off
it is done
I want to click on it now
we're onto something Kevin do you feel it?
yeah I feel thirsty
I'm thirsty too Kevin
*Dramatic buzzsaw synth*
I'm thirsty for the nectar
nectar?
the youtube nectar
What are you talking about?
I never know what the fuck you're talking about
I'm talking about keesh Kevin
Dinero! Mulan... money
Oh- dough!
exactly there are many types of
respectable nectars but none
so sweet
bountiful as YouTube nectar it is the only nectar on the world that gives you
everything it's the only nectar that that makes you into a better person a
smarter person think about it go all of the other youtubers how beautiful it made
them Burnie Burns, PewDiePie ,Markiplier- all touched by the nectar.
like DanMark!
no
Kevin
it doesn't work for everyone but it's going
to work us! for Lazergreg and Kevin- Kevin you've got to get a new fucking name dude
but wait Greg, I have a name..
Kevin?! no that's your birth name Kevin okay you got to get something new you have to
come up with a name that people can respect look at Key & Peele, you think
Key & Peele are their real names? no! you need a name like Peele
well I guess when you put it like that it makes a bit more sense
now the nectar is sitting right in front of you it's got that name on it the nectar is not
for Kevin it's for the new you the better you it'll come to you naturally
it'll flow into you Kevin
another one *slurps*
Oh!
lucky number Kevin! that's what all the chicks call me
Genius! you are a genius
let's make you a freakin YouTube channel I've always wondered what it would be
like like what what I would want from people once I became famous and it would
be create it would be crazy if people just made fan art of me but in weird sex
fantasies can you imagine? you know what'd be funny? is me with Marge Simpson that'd be
hilarious or Elastigirl
oh boy I'm flirting with this one girl
for a while she's been flirting with me she we we've been flirting with each
other it's a mutual thing the two of us and I don't even really know how it
started she was one of the first people who started watching my videos and then
we just took it from there and we're just getting these very long very deep
conversations in the comments section where we talk about everything the
content of the videos life politics love and we just have this connection
[GREG'S MOM] I was one of Greg's first subscribers you know? Greg cares a lot about his fans but I
think he sees me as his number one fan
I mean she's obsessed with me dude she's my only support her on patreon
you know I think if it as allowance I mean I
think Greg would appreciate it more we're thinking that it's coming from a
fan than his mom please don't tell his father
she wants me
so I realized that you can't just title a video Mark Wahlberg
you'll never guess we killed exposed and just make it a fallout playthrough
because people get mad they start disliking it a lot I got a lot of
dislikes on that video and dislikes make me sad
so I learned that if you're gonna title video something you actually have to
talk about what's in the title of the video who's like confirmed to be an
alien like celebrity wise there the obvious ones David Bowie's definitely an
alien why else would he write those songs he's hiding in plain sight
it's just the I think these things are interesting to talk about and now
because of it I can still do what I love I can still play video games and make
people happy and become more famous the Malaysian airline flight right it just
disappeared and everyone just stopped talking about it even though we never
found it we never found it and you know what that means right
I mean you think about it you think of all the places that the government doesn't
let you go like Indian reservations. what are they trying to hide? they say that
it's just a place where Indians can live in peace or whatever but they could be
doing anything brewing anything. but I'm at a hundred five subscribers 105
subscribers now I'm gaining like 10 subscribers a week DanMark right now
he's at like 400 thousands so I'll pass him at least a couple of weeks
[DANMARK] HEY everybody!! DanMark here! got a story to tell ya
Holy POO is it a good day? once upon a time this morning in fact I was walking down the road my
neighbor it's like hey there mark what up and I'm like oh and he's like he goes
he goes to me he he comes up to me and he goes he goes huh DAMN Mark how did
you get nine hundred thousand followers -nine hundred thousand YouTube followers
I was like no way he's like yeah way so I ran home really fast looked at my
computer and he was not kidding this this is huge nine hundred thousand it's
you guys who inspire me everyday inspiration changes perspective
therefore changes yourself I reached nine hundred thousand followers today and
everything that I do here just just could've been done without each and
every nine hundred thousand of you believing in me and
PISS ASS!!
time to spend however many minutes each my videos are-
[CREW] uh shit, I'm late..
Jim! you got the camera all.. set up
[DANMARK] You need a cup of coffee or anything? [JIM] no, I'm alright
[CREW] AAYYY! Jim!!
yeah I checked out Greg's channel recently I think it's gotten a lot better
(falsetto) I don't think it's the kind of Content that I would really want to watch...
the Taliban are victims the Taliban-
uh- but he's he's got his own thing he's on
his own path and I can't fault him for that you can't fault anybody for that for being themselves
anyone who practices magic is evil David Blaine I
went to a magic show once when I was a kid and how did he get the coin behind
my ear if they can make a coin show up behind my ear
I consider Greg Greg a friend I think he's a friend I think he would I'd hope
you considered me the same and I want all my friends to succeed you know I
believe that there is a genre for everyone and a viewer for every creator
*aggressive key slam*
what is his game here?
he is always one step ahead of me
so I need to be two steps ahead of me
and then I'll be one step ahead of him
what makes DanMark popular like what why do people like him
well I mean he's got a nice personality his videos are funny and well edited and
no
It's his jacket..
I didn't know that...
yeah it's his jacket... jacket
*typing on keyboard*
Tssssss, it's like $80...
Kevin how much money do you have?
Uh, like $12
how does he even afford that?
I mean he has like a million subscribers..
no no, he has nine hundred forty-eight thousand three hundred ninety-six subscribers
well then how are you gonna get the jacket because I mean I was thinking of
some video ideas so we could do and maybe if I learn some editing we could
come out with content more often together and I wanted to research us playing
a new game together and I have a few ideas that I want to go and try-
Kevin! have an idea
I thought my idea was pretty
I know where we could get that jacket...
*plunky synths*
Okay, here we are.
is this DanMark's house?
Oh yeah- put your ski mask on
I don't have a ski mask!
Why didn't you bring your mask? Are we going to break into DanMark's house?!
No- Kevin it's not like we're doing anything
super illegal- we're just going in there and taking his jacket!
Greg, I don't feel comfortable doing that stealing is-stealing is wrong
Kevin all right listen don't don't bail me now okay after everything I've done
for you okay just relax
Greg, you have never done anything for me I thought it
was cool cuz you were older than me and had a car but you're always mean to
me and you never liked my ideas and I'm starting to fail Spanish class now cuz
you keep pulling me out of my school
where's this coming from why being such a baby would it work
Kevin you're the only one who could fit my chimney just
it'll be fast, don't worry about it.
Greg no I just I can't do this
that's wrong I'm walking home
wait wait you can't go man, we're a team! I'm done
We're Lazergreg, an- and LuckyNumberKevin!
No Greg.
Kevin!
You can never be done Kevin!
fine, more nectar for me!
see you on the stream on Friday!
I'm not coming back to the stream Greg
*crisp door opening*
*Greg breathing*
I'm in..
if only these walls could talk...
to me...
about his secrets
he's wearing it
Thar she blows!
[JIM] Greg!
What are you doing?
what do you mean what am I doing? You know what I'm doing
You're not actually doing this are you?
No-no, you're right. I wrote it down, had you film it, had you record it! Drove all the way here and broke into his house because I'm not gonna do it, really?
Oh my god...
you're not actually considering going through with this?
Greg!
Whaaat do you want?
You will go to jail!
I'm going to go to jail?
You will go to jail!
Who's going to arrest me, is it going to be you? What are you a cop now? Officer idiot!
let me work
[JIM] Fuck me..
No! no, I can't do this
I can't do this anymore
I'm DONE! I'm fucking leaving
[CREW] Get outta here
[CREW] Just- Just leave the mic!
What is his deal?
Hmm..
I just didn't have the heart for it he obviously cares so much about that
jacket sleeps in it so why would I even take something that makes him so happy I gotta just get..
Danmark sleeps in his jacket
Danmark SLEEPS in his jacket
*Maniacal laughing*
oh my god DanMark sleeps in his jacket!
*More maniacal laughing*
all right guys get this I have some serious dirt on DanMark- REAL DIRT and the
thing is DanMark and I we're we're really good friends were like best
friends he lets me stay in his house all the time we hang out all the time his
girlfriend super hot and she's super nice to me specifically but I just felt
like I had to inform his audience of who he really is...
I can't believe I am gonna say it! did you know that DanMark actually sleeps while wearing his jacket- like
what a freakin weirdo like he sleeps in his jacket! some of you guys are gonna be thinking like that
it's not that big a deal Oh DanMark sleeps in his jacket oh who
cares it's like but that makes him a freak and a psychopath and a crazy
person he he loves his image of who he is like the DanMark personality like oh
who he's become the sellout that he is now that he can't even take his jacket
off when he's sleeping
No I don't feel bad... I don't feel bad at all
we're rivals we're like all the famous rivals we're like Tom and Jerry or FDR
and Hitler or John Lennon and the guy who killed John Lennon
look at you guys
I see the way you look at me every time I bring up Danmark you all
look at me the same way you look at me like like you don't understand like how
could he hate Danmark how could anyone hate Danmark you've all talked to him
you've all spent time with him you've all interviewed him and you all think
he's so perfect and so great but you never asked me you never asked me why
you want to know? You want to find out?
in high school I had this class and this
guy would sit next to me and he didn't "bully" me nobody ever bullies me but...
he gave me a hard time he made it difficult every day he made
it hard and then one day before class he's coming up to me and I know what
he's gonna do and I know what he's gonna say and I know what's gonna happen but
then DanMark shows up- out of nowhere completely forgot he was in the class
all I could focus was on this guy and he just stares him down tells him to
leave me alone and the guy gets back up in his face right here like they're
gonna fight but DanMark doesn't move DanMark just stands there and tells them
to leave me alone and the guy gives up then he sits down and he doesn't look at
me it doesn't say anything to me for the rest of the year
and you know what happened after that everyone starts patting Danmark on the
back saying how great of a guy he is how he's a hero how he saved me and you know
where that left me?
I was just the kid that needed to be saved
well I didn't need his help! I didn't ask him for his help, but that's all I was
the guy who he saved and that's why I have to beat him if
that's why I'm chasing him that's why I have to pass him cuz that's not all I'm
going to be and that's the whole reason why he did it he didn't do it to help me
he did it to help himself so everyone would congratulate him so he would be
the hero
it's too late now anyway it's not like I can take the video down it's already
uploaded
[CREW] You know you can take a video down?
can you?
yeah I'm not gonna take it down now, it's got a ton of views it's got a hundred like a day
[FROM VIDEO] -it's not a big deal DanMark sleeps in his jacket but no
that makes him a freak and a psychopath and a crazy person he what I'm like I
love him so much he's like a brother to me but he is a fucking freak what is
that even
*Theme Plays*
this is the greatest day of my life
welcome back griggers we're having another comment comeback video first
comment is from beef jerky is my life fuck DanMark, I always knew he was a
pussy. Here's the thing- you're not close to DanMark one of his friends or his
best friends or in his family I am so I can say from personal experience that
yes he is a gigantic pussy
"thank you for telling me, unsubscribed from Dan Marc because of this always knew there was something off about him"
well real Bigfoot there is something off about him just not his
jacket- cuz he sleeps in it is! next comment is from my boy my Griggga Nazi Dogg
"video was alright, kind of funny, miss Kevin though hope to see him in the next one"
*Greg laughs like a crazy person*
Oh Nazi-D! nobody misses Kevin he's a soul-sucking coward! Next comment is from
elite hacker 666 kill yourself you hack you suck what you're doing is this dumb
drama crap reviews alright I'm not gonna- read your novel just cuz I
owned your boyfriend on the internet we're just gonna move on...
Most of them are kinda similar...
ok except we
have one from an original Lazergreg fan!- puppyluvr<3 "I'm so happy that
you're finally getting views! you're finally the superstar I always knew you would be"
[GREG'S MOM] I'm proud of him, I mean I don't get it but you know what he's
successful at it which is great I mean even though he can sometimes be a little mean
[GREG'S DAD] what would I be proud of?
my son tricked a hundred and seventy
thousand people into watching this crap oh my god
this is completely his mother's fault
Greg seems to think that I'm a young woman
that's um, interested in him. this is getting a little weird
faster faster faster!
[GREG'S MOM} So Greg found my email address and he's been emailing me pretty naughty things
I'm just trying to ignore it because I mean I'm sure there's other women that
he's talking to like that
*Rain drops* *Somber music*
this part always grosses me out ew- ew mousse is not very efficient so you got
to use a lot of it I kill a tube a week typically
yep things are looking pretty good on Planet
youtube.com/Lazergreg I found out that you can get a ton of viewers if you
just find someone who's very very popular and say terrible things about
them so Ploptron, right like he's a nut he's a psychopath here I here's the
thing he acts all secretive like he's never shown his face but I've seen him
on several occasions I see him all the time and he's like he's an ugly gross
idiot which explains why he's so paranoid he thinks that the government
is stealing your poop so they can put it in vaccinations and that's what turns
your kids retarded
I get a lot of dislikes now though- but people are always gonna
hate on people more popular than them and besides dislike it's only three
letters away from like so if you think about it people like me he look like he
loves himself so much like he's so in love with the Danmark persona he's just
he's just gonna wear a jacket forever like it's his skin now his gross
DanMark foreskin- I hate it when a person is foreskin he's an animal fuck him it's
just silliest things you guys know that I wouldn't I wouldn't sleep in my jacket
I did happen to fall asleep once with my clothes on after a long night of
streaming but I mean that was just like
You guys wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you? like you would, um-
you would tell me right?
*Sad music*
Ya- no.. the negativity is getting to me a little bit but I try not to let it
affect me too much they're still watching the video I'm still getting the
views that it's not that big a deal!
[CREW] Greg have you not found a better way of doing this?
have you found another window leading into this room?
[DANMARK] I just- all I care about is that I either get shotty or sniper
you took my sniper rifle alright it's alright it's alright
everything's good here in the Danmark world you can't get to me he can't get
under my skin you'll be will see you as laughing when
the scoreboard it signifies that I win in the end!
[KEVIN] (over phone message) Uhhh hey it's Kevin I am NOT at
my phone right now or or- *BEEP*
[GREG] Hey buddy! it's me Lazer- it's me Greg I just wanted
to call check-in man see and see what's going on see what you were doing
I'm doing great you know I got a girlfriend now that's a lie that's a lie
I don't actually have a girlfriend I was just trying to make you jealous
Who am i kidding though? you'd never get jealous
[MAN WITH PIZZA] shit man you're Lazer-Greg!
yeah that's me
dude this is awesome I'm a big fan you mind if we get a selfie together
sure
oh thanks man! yeah thanks I really appreciate it
thanks cool run into you
No problem!
Hey- is that za? you got some za? there
yeah yeah we're having a little get together over my friends place so I'm gonna go over
Wow- that sounds really fun
that sounds really fun like what what what's the occasion? what are you guys doin?
you know it's it's actually just a thing but they're waiting on me- and the pizza, so I should really get going...
I have a great idea you know would be nuts what
if I showed up? What if Lazergreg came to the party? and I and they were they would all
be super like that'd be nuts right?
yeah oh I'm not really sure it's kind of that
vibe man, like not a lot of people watch the videos there I'm sure they'd appreciate
you once they saw it- once they saw you though
well maybe next time! maybe you can get them to subscribe so next time they would recognize me!
yeah man, it was nice meeting you..
get them to subscribe and then I'll come to the party next time they'll all be impressed
Put the selfie online! show them you met Lazergreg!
*Sad music*
The channel is doing great.. a lot of people seem to like me now.. even
though it doesn't seem like it
a lot of ways I really miss the old days we would just goof off and stream after
work so we should definitely hang out sometime so you should call me back but
I gotta go now I don't want to get recognized again
by another fan! so.. just... I'm really busy these days but but if you were to call
I would make time
anyway see you later buddy
*sad music*
it's not exactly how I envisioned my youtube career but look do you never
know how the mighty hand of Fame will strike you
winners can't be choosers besides I have plenty of fans people still know me and
love me
like puppyluver<3..
Do you guys think that this is going just a
little too slow? yeah I think it's going pretty slow I think it's time I make a
big move really kick things up a notch
[JIM] What- what do you mean Greg?
I'm gonna send her a picture of my junk
[JIM] Wait- what!?
yeaup! it's gonna be great!
[JIM] No, he can't do this!
[CREW] shut up!
[GREG] Yeah! shut up! god, I can't get hard with
you freaking screaming
[GREG] Alright....
[JIM] I'm going to tell her.
*camera shutter*
[JIM] Ah shoot, Ah shoot
[GREG] Aaaaaand send
[JIM] Ah shoot- oh no no
[GREG'S MOM] OH MY GOD! What is this?!
[JIM] Hoooooo no... OOOhhhh no
OH FUCK!!
[GREG'S DAD] how did we even get to this situation?
dad it it wasn't me
okay it's them they didn't tell meee
did you guys know about this?
[CREW] I don't- uh.. know
they knew I told them not to say anything I didn't want you to know
that's an issue and... we'll deal with it later. right now I have half a mind to kick you
out but since you've been keeping up with your responsibilities your job
He doesn't have a job. he has a job in months!
What? No- mom
Greg
how did you find out how did you know
I watch your videos!
[GREG'S DAD] I want you out of the house before I get back from work and take this riffraff with you I want this
done no more cameras no more riffraff no more dick pics just OUT- You understand?
That is so gay...
*sad music*
*knocking on door*
Heeey! Kevin, what's up man?
long time no see! listen a little bit of a favor, weird thing out of the blue I
kind of have to stay inside your house and live here
Greg- I don't think
it wouldn't be for long Kevin it would just be until I got back on my feet all right hey there was
some old drama at the old house so I wouldn't even know I was here- I'm super clean
Greg- listen, I really don't think that's a good idea, I'm sorry i just-
Kevin-
I'm kind of at a disadvantage here Kevin okay I'm on the
street look I understand you're mad at me or whatever but I I called you I
left a bunch of messages all right I said I was sorry
you didn't say you're sorry. I listened to all your messages Greg and I'm not
mad at you anymore, but but even if I did want you to stay I don't think my mom would be cool with it ...
Why wouldn't she be okay with it? Your mother loves me!
*greg laughs heartlessly*
[GREG] I didn't know that you lived with-
Darth Vader!
*greg laughs heartlessly at his own terrible joke*
Yeah- I don't think she likes you very much..
Is this about... you all laughed! every single one of you, you all laughed!
you all thought it was hilarious
OH MY GOD, did you guys get that?
we all laughed together!
Greg, I'm sorry I just I
can't I can't let you stay here maybe I'll see you again soon but I just I
gotta go I'm sorry
he is such a baby I'm a terrible friend I'm the ba- I'm the.. he just left me to
rot in the street he just abandoned me he...
okay.. um...
What about you guys? You can- can I stay in one of you guys' places? I
mean there's a bunch of you and it'd just be for like a couple of days or
like a week or something.. then hey! you'd have Dir- yeah you'd have direct
access to the the star of your movie! you know?
[CREW] Um.. I think we're good- Yeah I think we got everything
[CREW] I think we're pretty much done with the movie, this was one of the last things we needed...
you guys do know that this is
basically all your fault right none of this would have happened if you
had told me who I was talking to you knew the entire time I wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for you
I know what this is you're turning me into the
the villain of your movie!
You're tricking people! You tricked me! you can't-
treat me like this you can't treat someone like this alright I'm not just a
character in your movie I'm a person
turn the cameras off
[CREW] Greg, I think we're just going to leave...
Yeah you're just gonna leave? Movie's over?
there's your ending Greg's an idiot! Greg's alone!
this isn't right you can't-
fine
movie's over see you later guys
hope your movie sucks no one's gonna watch it! nobody cares! nobody cares! (this is all true)
[DANMARK] I think it sucks what's happening with Greg. I mean I hold no animosity towards
him. I got thick skin, you know, emotionally
bulletproof. You got to, I mean there's always going to be bad vibes on
the internet and if you just let them get you down there it's gonna be uh it's
gonna be hard to come back from it. At this point I just kind of like really
feel bad I'm bad for the guy. I mean I have people every day that are
commenting on my videos saying that I'm stupid I'm ugly that I don't
belong on YouTube... but um I tried to quit YouTube but I've tried and nobody else
would take me... I have no practical skills so YouTube is just kind of stuck with me
for the time that means so I
*knock on door*
Just one sec
DanMark... I have nowhere to go. I need somewhere to stay. Can I please stay with you?
I have nowhere, please?
yeah of course... Um yeah, come in, I just gotta give uh.. I just gotta give- I just got to talk to Julie... but come on come on in
thank you, thank you DanMark
It's mark.. but
[JULIE] he's weird and he makes me uncomfortable
he's not weird- he's just *stammers* we need to give
him a chance here all right
he he hates you! he tried to ruin your career what's wrong with you?
He doesn't hate me!
yes he does!- His entire career is-
No! No!
Greg- you don't hate me, do you?
*greg laughs like a crazy person* Nu-uh
See!
Greg where'd you get the Styrofoam cup
well this I got out on the streets..
he needs us.
I think this will be really
good for Greg it seemed like he was going it through some rough times I
can't help but feel just a little bit responsible for all of this I guess I
may have given Greg the impression that he had to compete with me I mean I did
just beat dark souls I'm pretty intimidating. I am hoping that this whole
experience will be a positive one for him I think given the time that we can
spend together you'll get to see me as a person and not as a YouTube rival, you
know? I'll treat him like any other my friends maybe even let him sit in a
streaming session or a recording session you know
oh here's the studio but- you just gotta keep it down a little bit... Julie's in there
is Julie pissed off that I'm staying here?
*danmark laughs nervously*
[GREG] That sucks...
this is the master bedroom
yeah I know
this is where you'll be bunking it's the guest room
thank you
[GREG] honestly I'm kind of surprised that he's letting me stay here and I am really
appreciative I was kind of mean to him in the past- well he was pretty mean to me
too it was mostly him but he's making it up
to me by letting me stay in his house under his roof!
that's it goes deep-
man I don't know, I think I just need to take some time to
figure things out really get back on my feet and figure out where I want to go
from here because it was hard though there were a few hours there where I was
on the streets and I really didn't know what was gonna happen to me I'm just I
am I'm really grateful that DanMark took me in
they're really gonna miss me when I leave in a few months...
[DANMARK] and we're live- in five four two welcome back to
another live stream I hope you're all having a good night if you have a funny
story or just one is alo leave a comment good notice tonight uh we have a special
guest right here he's a bit of a controversial figure but we're here to
get to know him a little bit more wanna understand him we're gonna go inside him
everybody welcome the man the legend- Lazergreg!
Woo! *clapping*
Uh yeah- hi, I'm Lazergreg- how's it going everybody? weeee
Woohooo! that's right uh so guys I saw something
very strange this morning-
was it me?
*danmark laughs awkwardly*
Uh, no- it actually wasn't but now I should
explain Greg has been staying with me at the last couple days..
Yeah, I didn't really have a choice I was homeless
*danmark laughs awkwardly* What?- well?
I see that we have a lot of comments
coming in here that are asking we're gonna fight.. come on guys this is
tonight Greg and I, we're vegetarians-
There will be no beef between the dos of us, right homie?
yeah we're gonna have a good time
A swell time! so we're having a good time good we're just here to play some video
games nice and game there's gonna chill a bit
we're HOMIES!
please stop hitting me..
*greg and danmark yelling in the other room*
so I have been here a few weeks now and it's been so sweet
I've been feeling really good this place has a great energy there's
there's so many good vibes I think DanMark and Julie are starting a warm up to
me and I've been in basically all of DanMark's videos! we make such a good
creative team-
look at that I always got your back- yeah did you see
that it was a trust exercise..
but who's got yours? no!
I got yours.
You see this? You see what we can accomplish when we work together?
you see see that
yeah sure I had all my old loyal fans my old channel but, who needs them? I'm
being watched by so many more people now
whoo sorry Julie I did not know you were in here are you editing a video?
Yeah- it's been a while the posted one, so just needs to get this one out there.
Oh right yeah you make youtube videos too- I knew that I knew that already
Julie listen I wanted to say something
I'm really sorry about when I was rude to you.
when which time?
At the party- I told you that the only reason people watched your videos was because
you were dating DanMark- you deserve a lot more respect than that
it's okay just it's really not a big deal
No, Julie, this is a big deal I mean
you put so much hard work into this and you put you put so much of yourself into
it and no one no one should be allowed to discredit that!
No, honestly this is just a hobby to me-
no it isn't this is not a hobby Julie this is your passion this is important to you!
no it's not, it's not my career and it's just what I do for fun
and the only reason I have followers this cause of DanMark and that's like
completely fine with me so...
how are you fine with that?
Because I mean I wouldn't be even doing this at all if it wasn't for him. Like I mean I'm glad I have the
opportunity but I wouldn't be pursuing it if it weren't for him.
doesn't it feel like you didn't earn their attention at all though?
yeah whatever
um thanks for the apology though
whatever
I am an artist, and artists need to create for themselves imagine a world
where artists didn't create for themselves they just helped other
artists with their art and their problems it would be empty frames and
blank canvases dry brushes it would be just like that movie where the
government steals all the color...
Schindler's List I'm really grateful for
DanMark letting me stay in his house and I've learned a lot from him I'm sure
he's learned a lot from me but I got to go back and do my own thing and recreate
my YouTube space and honestly I don't care if I don't have a single subscriber
anymore I will rebuild and I'll create a whole
new fanbase
DanMark!
I want to live in a world where there is color-
Me too Greg-
There's just- so much canvas out there that I still need to put my brush on, do you
understand what I'm saying? this is what I'm saying:
painting with you on your canvas it's been so great but it's time for me to
start creating on my own again..
yeah if you- uh, want to learn to paint I think you definitely should do that...
You really get it
that's why I think it's about time I
move out
yeah that is a great idea-
it is a great idea
and it gets even better, I'm about to make everything right. I'm gonna make an apology
video
oh
and I know what you're thinking we're sitting
here in private and I could apologize to you right here right now
get out of my head
But! think about this, now imagine I make a video put it on the internet the
whole world sees it and everyone on the planet knows how sorry I am
that's way better
that sounds that's it sounds great right it sounds
like a good idea, I agree but I think as an artist it's time for you to
really develop your voice some more and you know you're a funny guy Greg you're a funny guy
Are you seeing it, cause I feel like this is not that hard to follow.
It's a kids movie
for kids? but there's a gay in it.
I am funny! I am so funny! yeah so in a few days I'll be out of your hair !
Haha- I think you're being hard on yourself,
I think you'd be good if you left today!
yeah - two more days I'll be gone I just have so much -
I think it would be better if you if you got this
over with now I think do it as soon as possible I think you've yeah-tomorrow!
gotta strike while the iron's hot man I you gotta take this
this passion that you're feeling right now this intense feeling and that's how
art is made are you passionate about this?
of course! I'm passionate about everything!
use that while it's well it's hot man! you gotta strike the iron while it's hot
gotta use that passion while it's burning inside you okay you don't just
let opportunities like this pass you by if you continue to let opportunities
like this pass you by you're never going to strike this is an awesome opportunity
for you and it'll be okay for everyone else if you took advantage of this
mm-hmm opportunity now, and leave today
yeah, I'm gonna do it you get to do it
you're gonna do it!
today's that day DanMark!
yes!
okay ha here we go here we
go it's what's going on what's that how long have you had that?
what the camera?
yeah the camera yeah
not long we we had somebody trying to break in and now
we're trying to be just you know a little safer
Wow
that, a break-in, that is that that is so scary..
right? that that would happen
yeah uh-huh
I mean you never- you don't see you coming you don't think I
don't know
well at least I didn't take anything!
That's true! mm-hmm
They didn't uh- take anything
yeah no okay great
well I'll see you later
Lazergreg out!
Oh Frick I forgot my hobo bag
yeah feels good being back in the real world
it's weird
when I came back I expected everybody to be mad at me still but
it turns out there's a lot of people like me
Who like Lazergreg, because all the things that I say....
Hey guys! Lazergreg here! it has been a while, I just needed some time to figure some
things out I have something to get off my chest I
have not been completely honest with you guys and I need to come clean I need to be real.
after spending some time living with DanMark and really getting to know
him and talk to him and get closer to him...
I can really say with total confidence:
DanMark really is the worst fucking person on the Internet
it's not exactly how I expected it but
I think I finally found my audience
*distorted theme plays*