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- Hey Nicole.
Brought you some coffee.
Hey Nicole.
I brought you some coffee.
- Thanks.
- Late night?
- Why, do I look bad?
- Oh, no, you look good.
Just a little tired.
Hey, so I don't know if you have any plans this weekend
but my band is performing Saturday night
and I'd love it if you could make it out.
- Saturday night?
I'm sorry, I already have plans.
But maybe some other time.
- Yeah, okay.
You know, it's our first gig
so we'll be playing again.
- Cool.
- So what are you getting into?
- I have a date.
- Oh, I didn't know you were dating somebody.
- Well technically it's our first date.
We met online.
- Okay, well.
Have fun, be safe.
You know, you never know about these people
that you meet online, it's...
- Is that ready to go?
- Yes.
- How's your day going?
- Oh, the usual.
Making the clients happy.
- Even if they're assholes and they don't know
what they want.
- So, you going out this weekend?
- I don't know, I'm super broke.
We'll see what happens.
What you got going on?
- Going to the show tonight.
Let me know if you wanna come.
- Probably can't do a show
but thanks for the invite though.
- Hey.
Sorry.
Are you leaving?
- What?
- I know you said you had a date this weekend.
But I'd still love to see you sometime.
Are you doing anything tonight?
- Yeah, my parents are coming over tonight.
I'm cooking dinner for 'em.
- Okay, yeah.
I'll take a rain check on that then.
You have a good weekend.
- Thanks, you too.
Hope your show goes well.
Sorry I can't make it but...
I made these for you.
- Wow, thanks.
- I'm so glad you guys could make it.
You know, I really look forward to these dinners.
- So, when you gonna find a nice boy?
- Mom.
- Just want what's best for you.
And some grandchildren wouldn't be too bad either.
- I'm trying to date, okay?
- Honey, we only want you to be happy.
- Hey mom, you remember the time we went camping
and dad forgot the tent and we got rained out all day.
Remember that?
Yeah, it was a fun day.
I wish we could go back.
All done?
What do you guys think?
- It was great, honey, thank you.
- It was lovely.
- Thank you.
I'm glad you guys liked it.
Cheers.
Hello?
- Hey, is this Nicole?
- Yes.
- What's going on, this is John.
Sorry for calling.
I guess I'm a little old fashioned.
- Okay.
Hi.
- Well, I just wanted to double check
and see if we're still good for tonight.
- Yeah.
- You know, I'm looking forward
to actually meeting you in person.
- Me too.
What did we say, we're meeting tonight at eight?
- Yeah, yeah.
Sounds good and again, just looking forward
to meeting you in person, Nicole.
- Thanks.
See you tonight.
- Nicole.
It's gonna be a good night.
Hey girl.
Hey.
Yeah, you gotta go.
- What happened last night?
- You don't remember.
I mean, you were coming on to me pretty hard at the bar.
You got really drunk so I brought you here.
Trying to make sure you were okay.
- Did we have sex?
- Uh, yeah.
But don't worry.
We cool.
And I got your number so I'll give you a call, all right?
Thanks.
Hey.
Had a good time.
See you around, all right?
I'll call you.
I really won't.
Anyway.
Hey Nicole.
It's me, John.
You know, you look so much better
than your profile picture.
Looking good, it's nice to finally meet you in person.
You slick fucking rascal you.
Let me tell you something.
I ain't gay but you, you,
you are one sexy ass bitch, you know that shit, right?
You know that.
That's good money right there.
Game time.
Hey mom, how are you?
Yes mom, I'm still single.
You know if I had a girlfriend,
I would definitely let you know.
You'd be the first one to find out.
No, mother, I don't know when I'm going
to get married so can you please just stop asking me that?
Work is fine, work is great.
Would you, ma, I'm getting dressed.
I've gotta really get ready for this date
so let me call you later, okay?
I'll tell you how it went.
Love you, okay.
Bye bye, ma.
- Hello.
- Hey, this is John.
I'm at the restaurant.
You here?
- Yeah, give me like 10 minutes.
- I'll be at the bar.
waiting on you.
- So, you doing all right tonight?
Man, it's such a beautiful night.
I actually love the rain.
Okay, well here we go.
- Thanks.
- And also, pretty girl, don't be
getting into any trouble tonight now.
May the Lord be with you.
- So don't tell me.
You're Nicole.
- I'm sorry, I was running...
- Are you really?
No, I'm just playing with you.
Hey, I'm John.
Glad you could make it, Nicole.
- Thanks for waiting.
- Thanks for showing up.
Could've been a lot worse.
- Does that happen to you a lot?
- Well, you know, it's just a little bit,
did you wanna get a table first before we...
- No, I'm good here at the bar.
- Really?
All right, cool.
So enough about me.
Where are you from?
- Here.
- Okay.
Native, okay, that's what's up.
Do your parents still live here?
- I don't really wanna talk about my family.
- Sorry, my bad.
Well, my parents, they annoy the shit out of me.
My mom, she stays down the way.
- So.
Do you come here often?
- Yeah, I love it here.
Small crowds.
Nice people.
And the music's not too loud.
What do I look like, trying to yell
across a table to my date while we have something to eat.
I had to let you know that, man,
you look beautiful.
So much better than your profile picture.
- So you made it.
I ain't believing.
Anyway, what are you having?
- Can I have a vodka soda please?
- Cool.
- Let me get another Old Fashioned.
Appreciate you, boss.
What do you do for work?
- I work at an ad agency in the IT department.
- Okay, you went to school for that?
- I basically taught myself everything
and was able to get a job, so.
- Okay, all right, I see you.
Sounds like a whole bunch of responsibility
and I bet you getting paid.
- Yeah, I do all right.
- So what do you do for fun?
- I enjoy cooking.
- Here you go.
A vodka soda for the lady.
Old Fashioned.
You done with that one?
- Appreciate it.
- Can I have another?
A double.
You can take this.
- Okay, be right out.
- Thank you.
- So how was your drink?
- It was weak.
- You drink much?
- I do.
It's my only vice.
- Yeah.
Mine's sex.
Word.
Nah.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
It's just that, you know, when you drink
too much it can lead to certain things
and you gotta be careful who you drink around.
You never know what they may try to do to you.
- Thanks but I'm pretty sure I can take care of myself.
- Especially with me here to protect you.
- How was your drink?
- It's a little bitter.
- Sorry to hear that.
Excuse me, can I have some shots please?
- Oh, well, here's your double.
What type of shot?
- Whiskey.
Fine, yep.
- I'll bring that right out.
The kitchen's about to close.
Y'all want anything to eat?
- Nah, I'm good.
- I'm good too.
- All right.
- Hey, Nicole.
You don't have to be so nervous around me.
I don't bite.
Not unless you want me to.
Yo, just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
- All right, shots, here we go.
- Can I do a dirty martini next?
House vodka's fine.
- Dirty martini.
- Yes, please, thank you.
- Got you.
- Hey, I'm straight.
Thanks boss.
- Cheers.
- So I'm gonna run to the restroom real quick
and I'll be back in a minute.
- I'll be right here.
Hey yo, baby.
What up, boy?
Yeah.
Yeah, nah, it's going all right.
You know.
It is what it is so far.
Nah, she a little computer nerd.
Little crazy.
But body is banging.
I'll probably be done with this one around 11:30
'cause you know how I do.
Oh, you know it.
Come on now.
Of course I'm gonna hit it tonight.
Yeah.
Dirty martini.
Just like.
- You want this?
- What's wrong with it?
- I just want something else.
Excuse me, do you mind taking this away?
- Is everything all right?
Does it taste bad?
- Nah, I just don't want it anymore.
But I can pay for it.
- Oh, it's all good, it's okay, cool.
Do you want anything else?
- I'm good, thank you.
- I'm good, boss, thanks.
Yeah, yeah.
- You look a little worried.
- No, I'm fine.
You know, speaking of fine, you really are beautiful.
Let's get out of here.
I know this real dope bar right down the street.
I think you'd like it.
Still.
- Sure.
- All right, cool.
Hey.
We about to be out, baby.
All you.
Thanks, baby.
All right, family.
Ladies first.
Yo.
I'm a total gentleman, I promise.
- How do you act when you meet somebody
that you don't like?
- Well, I get out quick
and then I split the bill with them.
Is that a smile, maybe, maybe?
- No.
- Or is your mouth just like crooked?
- I'm cold.
My mouth was shivering, it's cold.
Do you ever stop laughing?
What's so funny?
- It's good for the soul.
Maybe you ought to join me.
- Where is this?
- No worries, it's right there.
Yeah, no, we're just gonna sit at the bar.
All right, cool, thanks.
See, told you.
It's pretty cool in here.
And there's a dope band.
You wanna check 'em out?
- Sure.
Could I have a dirty martini please?
- And could I have a whiskey and a Pilsner, please?
- So.
What was your longest relationship?
- Are we getting personal?
I like that.
Two years.
- Yeah?
So what happened?
- Didn't wanna get married.
- Why not?
- Well, I had my doubts
and second, I mean, there's so much of me
for a lady such as yourself.
I mean, come on.
You know when you seen me, you was wanting some of this.
Yo, I'm just playing, I'm just playing.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Anyways, what about you?
When's the last time you had a boyfriend?
- It's been a while.
I don't know, I've been too busy
so I really haven't had time to have a boyfriend.
- So you gonna date?
- Not really.
I mean it's on and off
but you should consider yourself lucky.
- Maybe I do.
- Here y'all go.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
- This is good.
- I'm glad you like it.
Can I get you anything else?
- I'm good.
You good?
- Yeah, I'm good too, thanks.
So, I mean, since you don't date much,
I assume you don't get laid too often then, do you?
- Do you?
- I do okay.
- Well I do better than okay.
- Let me tell you something, baby.
As beautiful as you are, I don't think you'll
ever have a problem getting laid.
Now for brothers such as myself,
it be a little more difficult.
- Sound bitter about that.
- No, just a little frustrating sometimes, that's all.
- Yeah.
Well it goes both ways.
- Is that so?
How's this date going then?
- I'm still here, aren't I?
- Yes you are.
Excuse me for a moment
but I have to use the restroom
so I'll be right back.
Nicole, you sexy something, you.
You.
Me.
Do not let me down.
- Are y'all gonna be much longer?
We're getting ready to close.
- No, we're actually good.
Could you take a selfie for me
and I'll be out of your hair?
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
- Miss me?
- We have to close out our tab.
- Where are we going next?
- Well I don't know about you
but I'm pretty tired so I'm just gonna go home.
- Well, I'd still like to at least make sure
that you make it home safe.
- How about we just finish these drinks first?
- Well.
Maybe we should get something to eat though.
All this drinking.
It's really gonna hurt you in the morning.
- I actually was just gonna go home
and make myself dinner so I'm good.
- Okay.
Well I'm sorry that I couldn't
take us out to eat afterwards.
- It's fine.
- But if you don't mind, it'd be nice
to get some good old fashioned home cooking.
I can get it to go.
- You want me to cook for you?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- I'll go ahead and call an Uber.
All right.
Let's get out of here.
Yeah, that Uber should be here in like one minute.
- Thank you for paying for that tab in there.
I mean, I would've paid for it.
It wasn't really a big deal.
- It's no problem.
- You wanna take a selfie?
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
- No problem.
Well.
- I'll be right back.
I'm gonna go change.
- Okay.
You sure you don't need my help with anything?
- No, I'm good.
- Nice place you got here.
- Thanks.
- No problem.
You know, you really don't have to cook.
Matter of fact, I've never had a woman
make dinner for me on the first date.
So what you making?
- Spaghetti.
That good?
- That's cool, cool.
Shit!
Girl, this wine is terrific!
- What's that?
- Oh, I said the wine is good, it's good wine.
That good wine.
- Thanks.
- You mind if I take a look around?
- Yeah, just don't go into my bedroom.
- So where do you get your artwork from?
- Most of it's my work.
- It's interesting.
- So I should be done in like 15 minutes.
Is that cool?
- Cool.
Take your time, take your time.
Take as much time as you want.
Shit, baby.
This is fantastic.
- Yeah?
You like it?
Thanks, I like to cook, it's fun.
- Okay, well let me tell you something.
You would make the perfect wife.
- Yeah, I don't think we're quite there yet
but I'll take the complement.
You need to leave right after this, okay?
Yeah.
- Leave?
Well, we just getting started here.
- I don't wanna give you the wrong idea
but I'm not hooking up with you tonight, John.
- All right, all right.
It's cool, it's whatever.
But let me tell you something.
You keep cooking like this
and I ain't ever gonna leave.
Facts.
- You want some more wine?
- Yeah, go ahead, top me off.
- Stop.
- My bad, go ahead.
Top me off.
- This is the last drink, okay?
I'm serious.
- All right.
You got a restroom?
- Excuse me, it's the second door on the left behind you.
- Over here?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Are you okay?
Come here.
Hey.
Are you gonna be okay to get home?
- Now why would you invite me over if you didn't
plan for me to...
- Okay, I already told you when we were in there.
I'm not hooking up with you tonight.
- You serious?
- Yes, I'm serious.
- What the fuck, yo?
We went out and had a good time,
had drinks that I bought.
We come back to your place.
You cook dinner.
What the fuck else do you expect me to think?
- I cooked dinner for you because you
bought the drinks, you fucking asshole.
I was being...
Fucking!
Fuck.
- How's it going?
- Just got some lights out.
And I need to do some yard work so here I am.
- You know it's midnight, right?
- Sorry.
They're prescription.
- Oh, I'm sorry, that was rude.
Now I'm supposed to ask if you have one
of our credit cards and if you'd like to save 10%
on today's purchase?
- No thanks.
- Looks like you're heading to my kind of party.
All you need now is a chainsaw.
- The noise might wake the neighbors.
- You bet it would.
Five bricks.
- Oh yeah, sorry.
Thank you.
The lights.
- Have a good night.
- You're ruining my place, you asshole.
And you're a fucking cop.
Didn't dig too deep, did you, Nicole?
That's what I get for dating online.
Oh my god.
- Boo.
The hell, girl?
You ain't done yet?
Girl, I'm talking to you.
- No, you're dead.
Okay, I killed you.
- Killed me?
You chopped off my hands and my feet.
I should've made you pay for them drinks.
Yo, come on, come on, come on, come, come, come.
You don't wanna do this.
You don't wanna get the place dirty.
Don't wanna make a mess.
And your cooking, dinner, dinner was good.
Dinner was good.
Just stop, come on, come on.
Put it down.
- Why'd you have to attack me?
- Yeah.
That was a dick move.
Was drunk and horny a good enough answer?
Yo, it was nothing personal.
- Raping me wasn't personal?
- Yo, what's the big deal?
I thought you were feeling me.
Baby, baby, come on, come on.
All right, all right now, damn it.
You know I'm a cop.
Like COPS.
Like what you gonna do when they come for you?
- You know what?
You got what you deserved.
- Getting chopped up?
- Yeah, you were way too heavy in one piece.
- First and foremost, I resent that remark.
Second of all, just so you know,
I lost 10 pounds before our Tinder date, ma'am.
- Sir, more like 25 but who's counting?
- Yeah, you're right.
- Yeah, that's funny.
- Well.
The least you could do is get me something to drink.
- Are you serious right now?
- Yeah.
Besides, I know you got some alcohol in here
'cause don't nobody drink as much as you.
You can really put 'em down, girl.
I mean, what are you, like full time alcoholic or something?
So you going to get the drink?
Okay, go get me a drink.
Well, shit.
Oh, she chopped me up good.
How the fuck am I gonna get away?
Oh shit.
Baby.
Aren't you such a good helper?
Ladies first.
- Really?
- Well help a brother out, shit.
Fuck, that's good.
- Yeah, I don't buy cheap wine.
- Well I have to get the name of that non-cheap wine.
- Want some more?
First, question.
Have you attacked women before or am I your first?
- Attacked?
Baby, I'm just trying to get a little well-deserved action.
Okay?
- What?
- Yo, I spent over 100 dollars last night.
You telling me you didn't wanna get laid?
- Okay, so what's your family like?
Do you have any brothers or sisters?
- Don't you think it's a little too late
to be asking about my family?
- Answer the damn question.
- Yes.
I have a sis, well,
I had a sister.
- So would you like if your sister was drugged
and raped?
Or what about your mother?
What if this happened to her?
- Actually, to be honest with you, they'd be straight.
They can pay for themselves.
- Fucking asshole.
You know what?
I'm glad I killed you.
- You know what?
That makes one of us.
Now, can you get me some more of that good ass wine?
So what's your plan?
People saw us out together last night.
The Uber driver dropped us off here.
My DNA's all over your house.
Not the way I'd hoped.
- Easy.
After the Uber dropped us off, you left.
- That's your plan?
Baby.
They're gonna come searching for you.
I'm a cop.
They're going to find you.
Then they gonna take your pretty little ass to jail.
- You know what?
- What?
- It's better than where you're going.
- Well.
You cut it off.
Wasn't too clean though.
You should watch a little more Game of Thrones,
less Sex And The City, though, huh?
So Nicole.
Can I ask you something?
Is this turning you on?
Baby, baby.
Baby, I just want you to think about this, okay?
- Maybe this is turning me on.
- Baby, just take a little, take a minute.
Let's pray, let's pray, come on, let's pray.
- Hey, what's up, Nicole?
Nicole, you all right?
Hey.
What's going on?
- Hey.
- Ah, wine for breakfast, huh?
That little hair of the dog?
Well I just wanted to say what's up.
You know, if you ever need anything,
you know, I'm right next door.
- Yeah.
I'll talk to you later.
- Oh yeah, yeah, no problem.
I just wanna say what's up.
If you wanna get up later tonight, though,
I'm having some people over to watch the game
so, you know, feel free to come by or...
- Hey, it's hot as hell in here!
And I'm scared of the dark.
Stinks, smells like something crawled up here and died.
Oh, that's me.
For real though, let me out.
- You're still talking.
- Nicole, Nicole!
- That's what you get, you Harvey Weinstein motherfucker.
- Hey, you need some help?
- Nope, I'm...
- No, no, girl, don't be silly.
I got this.
Good thing I workout, am I right?
Am I right, am I Mr. Right?
Girl, what you got in here?
'Cause this thing is like...
- You know what I was thinking?
Maybe we should go out sometime, yeah?
- Yeah, so what's up?
You trying to like...
- Wednesday.
- Wednesday, Wednesday, yeah, Wednesday.
Most definitely, yeah.
- All right.
- I can't wait.
Girl.
Wednesday.
- All right, I'll see you then?
- See you then.
I'm talking about, Gare Bear!
Yeah!
- Hey Nicole.
I brought you a coffee.
How was your weekend?
How'd your date go?
- It was no big deal
but anyway, I wanna hear about your gig.
I'm sorry I couldn't make it.
I'm pretty sure it was much more fun than what I did.
- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Gig was good.
We played for a whole like 10 people
but they seemed to dig it.
- Cool.
So I was thinking that maybe we
could get together soon?
Sound good?
- Yeah, that sounds great.
- Yeah.
How about tonight?
We could go out for some drinks or something.
- Cool, yeah, let's do it.
- Cool.
All right, well I'm gonna get back to work
but I'll see you later on today.
- Okay.
- Hey, hey, hey.
How y'all doing?
So, I hope everything goes well
with your client today, okay?
Good?
High five.
- What the fuck was that?
- Crazy girl, I don't know you.
Bitch.
- Anyway, how's your week looking?
- Girl, usual client bullshit everyday.
- We need raises.
- Say that.
- You done for the day?
- Yep, you ready to go?
- Sure.
Hey, I'm home.
- Hey.
I'm cooking dinner.
I made your favorite, girl.
- Oh, good.
Did you miss me today?
- Come on, now.
Now you know a part of me is missing
whenever we not together.
You ready to eat?
- Yes, I am starving.
Thank you for cooking.
- No problem.
Oh, your parents stopped by.
- Hey!
Thank you guys for coming.
- Glad we could make it, sweetheart.
- And John's so , isn't he?
- Would you take that hat off?
You look ridiculous.
- Girl, don't act like that.
You know you like it.
- Whatever.
- Found your chef, huh?
- Crazy weekend, huh?
- Yes, it was.
I have a surprise for you guys.
I'll be right back, okay.
All right.
- You catch this?
- Oh yeah.
Minnetonka's finest.
Gefilte fish.
- So.
What do you guys think?
- It's beautiful.
- That's so lovely and it's beautiful just like you.
- Thank you.
- You're so talented.
- You get your talent from your mom.