1
00:02:27,816 --> 00:02:29,235
Mother... shittin'...

2
00:02:29,318 --> 00:02:30,736
son of a...

3
00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:32,738
Ass! Ooh!

4
00:02:32,821 --> 00:02:34,198
I just...

5
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,539
I was told...

6
00:02:41,622 --> 00:02:43,207
Have you seen...
I was told that if...

7
00:02:43,290 --> 00:02:46,210
I was late again I would be
summarily dismissed.

8
00:03:35,885 --> 00:03:37,595
Mmm. No, no.

9
00:03:54,069 --> 00:03:55,529
Just a moment.

10
00:03:56,864 --> 00:03:59,366
Corporate accounts payable.
Nina speaking.

11
00:03:59,450 --> 00:04:00,743
Just a moment.

12
00:04:01,994 --> 00:04:04,330
Corporate accounts payable.
Nina speaking.

13
00:04:04,413 --> 00:04:05,831
Just a moment.

14
00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:10,169
Corporate accounts payable.
Nina speaking.

15
00:04:10,252 --> 00:04:11,587
Just a moment.

16
00:04:12,630 --> 00:04:14,673
Corporate accounts payable.
Nina speaking.

17
00:04:15,549 --> 00:04:17,009
Just a moment.

18
00:04:17,092 --> 00:04:19,094
Corporate accounts payable.
Nina speaking.

19
00:04:19,929 --> 00:04:22,223
Hello, Peter. What's happening?

20
00:04:22,306 --> 00:04:25,434
Ahh... we have
sort of a problem here.

21
00:04:25,518 --> 00:04:27,937
Yeah.
You apparently didn't put...

22
00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:30,356
one of the new cover sheets
on your T.P.S. reports.

23
00:04:30,439 --> 00:04:34,276
Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that.
I... I forgot.

24
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,195
Mmm... yeah.

25
00:04:36,278 --> 00:04:37,738
You see, we're putting
the cover sheets...

26
00:04:37,821 --> 00:04:40,699
on all T.P.S. reports now
before they go out.

27
00:04:40,783 --> 00:04:43,536
Did you see the memo
about this?

28
00:04:43,619 --> 00:04:46,872
Yeah. Yeah,
I have the memo right here.

29
00:04:46,956 --> 00:04:48,374
I just, uh, forgot...

30
00:04:48,457 --> 00:04:50,835
but, uh, it's not shipping out
till tomorrow...

31
00:04:50,918 --> 00:04:52,336
so there's no problem.

32
00:04:52,419 --> 00:04:54,171
Yeah.

33
00:04:54,255 --> 00:04:55,631
If you could just go ahead
and make sure...

34
00:04:55,714 --> 00:04:58,884
you do that from now on,
that would be great...

35
00:04:58,968 --> 00:05:00,886
and, uh, I'll go ahead
and make sure...

36
00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:03,097
you get another copy
of that memo, OK?

37
00:05:03,180 --> 00:05:06,183
No. I have the memo.
I've got it... It's right...

38
00:05:06,267 --> 00:05:08,853
Hello, Phil. What's happening?

39
00:05:08,936 --> 00:05:10,020
Um...

40
00:05:10,104 --> 00:05:13,148
I came by here yesterday...

41
00:05:13,232 --> 00:05:16,068
Four teams
out on the Spanish point...

42
00:05:16,151 --> 00:05:18,320
discovered a shipwreck
off the coast...

43
00:05:18,404 --> 00:05:19,572
Milton?

44
00:05:20,489 --> 00:05:21,740
Hi. Uh...

45
00:05:21,824 --> 00:05:23,826
could you turn that down
just a little bit?

46
00:05:23,909 --> 00:05:26,120
But I was told
that I could listen...

47
00:05:26,203 --> 00:05:28,831
to the radio at a reasonable
volume from 9:00 to 11:00.

48
00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:31,417
Yeah. I know you're allowed to.

49
00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:34,879
I was just thinkin'
maybe like a personal favor.

50
00:05:34,962 --> 00:05:38,591
Well, I... I... I told Bill
if Sandra's going to...

51
00:05:38,674 --> 00:05:42,094
listen to her headphones
while she's filing...

52
00:05:42,178 --> 00:05:43,762
then I should be able
to listen to the radio...

53
00:05:43,846 --> 00:05:45,264
while I'm collating...

54
00:05:45,347 --> 00:05:47,349
so I don't see why I should have
to turn down the radio.

55
00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:48,517
Yeah. All right. OK.

56
00:05:48,601 --> 00:05:50,728
I enjoy listening
at a reasonable volume...

57
00:05:50,811 --> 00:05:51,896
Thanks.

58
00:05:51,979 --> 00:05:53,314
...from 9:00 to 11:00.

59
00:05:53,397 --> 00:05:54,815
Hi, Peter.

60
00:05:54,899 --> 00:05:56,859
What's happening?

61
00:05:56,942 --> 00:05:59,445
We need to talk
about your T.P.S. reports.

62
00:05:59,528 --> 00:06:01,864
Yeah. The cover sheet.
I know. I know.

63
00:06:01,947 --> 00:06:03,032
Bill talked to me about it.

64
00:06:03,115 --> 00:06:05,659
Yeah. Did you get that memo?

65
00:06:05,743 --> 00:06:07,995
Yeah, I got the memo,
and I understand the policy...

66
00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:10,664
and the problem is just
that I forgot the one time...

67
00:06:10,748 --> 00:06:12,583
and I've already
taken care of it...

68
00:06:12,666 --> 00:06:14,376
so it's not even really
a problem anymore.

69
00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:17,254
Ah! Yeah.

70
00:06:17,338 --> 00:06:18,839
It's just we're putting
new cover sheets...

71
00:06:18,923 --> 00:06:21,342
on all the T.P.S. reports
before they go out now...

72
00:06:21,425 --> 00:06:23,802
so if you could go ahead
and try to remember...

73
00:06:23,886 --> 00:06:26,472
to do that from now on,
that'd be great.

74
00:06:26,555 --> 00:06:27,723
All right!

75
00:06:32,478 --> 00:06:34,313
Just a moment.

76
00:06:35,731 --> 00:06:38,192
Corporate accounts payable.
Nina speaking.

77
00:06:38,275 --> 00:06:39,485
Peter Gibbons.

78
00:06:40,569 --> 00:06:41,654
Yes.

79
00:06:41,737 --> 00:06:43,614
Corporate accounts
payable. Nina speaking.

80
00:06:43,697 --> 00:06:44,782
Just a moment.

81
00:06:44,865 --> 00:06:46,283
I have the memo.

82
00:06:48,202 --> 00:06:50,120
No. Not again. I...

83
00:06:50,204 --> 00:06:52,498
Why does it say paper jam
when there is no paper jam?

84
00:06:52,581 --> 00:06:54,542
I swear to God,
one of these days...

85
00:06:54,625 --> 00:06:57,670
I just kick this piece of shit
out the window.

86
00:06:57,753 --> 00:06:59,672
You and me both, man.

87
00:06:59,755 --> 00:07:00,965
That thing is lucky
I'm not armed.

88
00:07:03,384 --> 00:07:04,426
Piece of shit.

89
00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:06,387
"Samir...

90
00:07:07,263 --> 00:07:08,973
"Na-Na...

91
00:07:09,056 --> 00:07:10,808
"Na-Naga..."

92
00:07:10,891 --> 00:07:12,643
- No. Thanks.
- Unh-huh!

93
00:07:12,726 --> 00:07:13,978
Please.

94
00:07:14,061 --> 00:07:17,147
"Michael... Bolton"?

95
00:07:17,231 --> 00:07:18,399
That's me.

96
00:07:18,482 --> 00:07:20,568
Wow! Is that your real name?

97
00:07:20,651 --> 00:07:22,069
Yeah. Ahem.

98
00:07:22,695 --> 00:07:24,905
So are you related
to that singer guy?

99
00:07:24,989 --> 00:07:26,782
No.
It's just a coincidence.

100
00:07:26,866 --> 00:07:28,033
Oh.

101
00:07:29,869 --> 00:07:32,746
No one in this country
can pronounce my name right.

102
00:07:33,539 --> 00:07:34,957
It's not that hard.

103
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,168
"Na-ee" and then "anajaad."
Nayanajaad.

104
00:07:37,251 --> 00:07:39,253
At least your name
isn't Michael Bolton.

105
00:07:40,421 --> 00:07:42,131
You know, there's
nothing wrong with that name.

106
00:07:42,214 --> 00:07:44,133
There was
nothing wrong with it...

107
00:07:44,216 --> 00:07:45,885
until I was
about twelve years old...

108
00:07:45,968 --> 00:07:48,179
and that no-talent
ass clown became famous...

109
00:07:48,262 --> 00:07:49,388
and started winning Grammys.

110
00:07:49,471 --> 00:07:50,556
Hmm.

111
00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:54,643
Well, why don't you just go
by Mike instead of Michael?

112
00:07:54,727 --> 00:07:56,896
Why should I change?
He's the one who sucks.

113
00:07:57,229 --> 00:07:58,314
Hey, guys.

114
00:07:58,397 --> 00:07:59,982
What's up, G?

115
00:08:00,065 --> 00:08:01,984
Wanna go to Chotchkie's,
get some coffee?

116
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,569
Oh, it's a little early.

117
00:08:03,652 --> 00:08:06,030
I gotta get outta here.
I think I'm gonna lose it.

118
00:08:06,113 --> 00:08:07,198
Uh-oh.

119
00:08:07,281 --> 00:08:10,117
Sounds like somebody's
got a case of the Mondays.

120
00:08:14,997 --> 00:08:17,166
Boy, I tell ya, some days.

121
00:08:17,249 --> 00:08:19,251
One of these days,
it's just gonna be like...

122
00:08:22,129 --> 00:08:23,255
Heh heh heh!

123
00:08:23,339 --> 00:08:25,257
So, can I get you gentlemen
something more to drink...

124
00:08:25,341 --> 00:08:26,425
or maybe something
to nibble on...

125
00:08:26,509 --> 00:08:29,011
some pizza shooters, shrimp
poppers, or extreme fajitas?

126
00:08:29,762 --> 00:08:31,055
- Just coffee.
- OK!

127
00:08:31,138 --> 00:08:32,973
Sounds like a case
of the Mondays.

128
00:08:37,895 --> 00:08:41,815
What if we're still doin' this
when we're fifty?

129
00:08:41,899 --> 00:08:44,568
It would be nice to have
that kind of job security.

130
00:08:45,402 --> 00:08:46,820
Lumbergh's gonna have me work
on Saturday.

131
00:08:46,904 --> 00:08:48,822
I can tell already.

132
00:08:48,906 --> 00:08:50,991
I'm gonna end up doin' it,
because, uh...

133
00:08:51,075 --> 00:08:52,868
because I'm a big pussy...

134
00:08:52,952 --> 00:08:54,995
which is why I work
at Initech to begin with.

135
00:08:55,079 --> 00:08:56,705
Uh, yeah, well,
I work at Initech...

136
00:08:56,789 --> 00:08:58,833
and I don't consider myself
a pussy, OK?

137
00:08:58,916 --> 00:09:01,252
Yes. I am also not a pussy.

138
00:09:01,335 --> 00:09:03,462
They're gonna find out
the hard way I'm not a pussy...

139
00:09:03,546 --> 00:09:05,172
if they don't start treating
their software people better.

140
00:09:05,256 --> 00:09:06,799
That's right.

141
00:09:06,882 --> 00:09:08,467
They don't understand.

142
00:09:08,551 --> 00:09:10,636
I could program a virus that'd
rip that place off big time.

143
00:09:10,719 --> 00:09:12,263
Yeah.

144
00:09:12,346 --> 00:09:13,514
Big time.

145
00:09:15,266 --> 00:09:16,475
Whoa!

146
00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:17,726
There she is.

147
00:09:18,811 --> 00:09:21,397
Peter, you know,
you always talk about this girl.

148
00:09:22,231 --> 00:09:24,483
If you're so obsessed with her,
why don't you just ask her out?

149
00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:25,734
Oh, I can't do that.

150
00:09:26,694 --> 00:09:27,987
I'm just another
asshole customer.

151
00:09:28,070 --> 00:09:30,614
You can't just walk up
to a waitress and ask her out.

152
00:09:30,698 --> 00:09:32,741
Besides, I'm still trying
to work it out with Anne.

153
00:09:33,576 --> 00:09:36,495
Oh, that reminds me.
I can't play poker on Friday.

154
00:09:36,579 --> 00:09:37,913
Why not?

155
00:09:37,997 --> 00:09:42,001
I'm gonna see this occupational
hypnotherapist with Anne.

156
00:09:42,084 --> 00:09:44,420
Dude,
an occupational hypnotherapist?

157
00:09:44,503 --> 00:09:46,881
I know. Anne wants me to go.

158
00:09:46,964 --> 00:09:48,257
She thinks it might help.

159
00:09:49,091 --> 00:09:50,926
Um...

160
00:09:51,010 --> 00:09:53,387
You know,
sometimes I think that...

161
00:09:53,470 --> 00:09:55,973
I get thinking
that she's cheating on me.

162
00:09:56,056 --> 00:09:57,474
Yeah. I know what you mean.

163
00:09:57,558 --> 00:09:59,059
Yeah.

164
00:10:00,269 --> 00:10:01,437
What is that supposed to mean?

165
00:10:02,771 --> 00:10:03,939
Nothing.

166
00:10:04,982 --> 00:10:07,151
Why don't you just tell Anne
that you're not into hypnosis...

167
00:10:07,234 --> 00:10:08,319
and you wanna play poker
with us?

168
00:10:08,402 --> 00:10:09,987
I can't do that.
She'll get all pissed off...

169
00:10:10,070 --> 00:10:14,408
and, besides, I think the guy
might actually be able to help.

170
00:10:14,491 --> 00:10:16,076
I mean,
he did help Anne lose weight.

171
00:10:16,952 --> 00:10:18,329
Peter, she's anorexic.

172
00:10:18,412 --> 00:10:20,164
Yeah, I know.

173
00:10:20,247 --> 00:10:21,582
The guy's really good.

174
00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:25,252
Yeah, well, I don't think any
occupational hypnotherapist...

175
00:10:25,336 --> 00:10:27,004
is gonna help you solve
any of your problems.

176
00:10:27,087 --> 00:10:28,839
Hey, and speaking of problems...

177
00:10:28,923 --> 00:10:30,382
what's this I hear about you
having problems...

178
00:10:30,466 --> 00:10:31,675
with your T.P.S. reports?

179
00:10:31,759 --> 00:10:34,136
Yeah. Didn't you get that memo?

180
00:10:36,555 --> 00:10:38,349
Hey! Hey, guys! Peter!

181
00:10:38,432 --> 00:10:40,059
Is that Smykowski?

182
00:10:40,893 --> 00:10:42,061
- Samir!
- What's he doing?

183
00:10:42,144 --> 00:10:43,812
Oh, probably workin' on
another heart attack.

184
00:10:43,896 --> 00:10:45,648
I've been lookin'
all over for you guys!

185
00:10:45,731 --> 00:10:48,484
Have you seen this?
I knew it. I knew it.

186
00:10:48,567 --> 00:10:50,194
What?
It's a staff meeting. So what?

187
00:10:50,277 --> 00:10:52,821
So what?
We're all screwed. That's what.

188
00:10:52,905 --> 00:10:54,532
They're gonna downsize Initech.

189
00:10:54,615 --> 00:10:56,825
What are you talking
about? How do you know that?

190
00:10:56,909 --> 00:10:59,161
How do I know? They're
bringing in a consultant.

191
00:10:59,245 --> 00:11:00,329
That's how I know.

192
00:11:00,412 --> 00:11:02,122
That's what this staff meeting's
all about.

193
00:11:02,206 --> 00:11:03,999
It happened
at Initrode last year.

194
00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:05,835
You have to interview
with this consultant.

195
00:11:05,918 --> 00:11:07,670
They call them
efficiency experts...

196
00:11:07,753 --> 00:11:08,879
but what you're really doing...

197
00:11:08,963 --> 00:11:10,339
is interviewing
for your own job.

198
00:11:10,422 --> 00:11:11,715
Every week you say
you're gonna lose your job...

199
00:11:11,799 --> 00:11:12,967
and you're still here.

200
00:11:13,050 --> 00:11:15,427
Not this time. I bet
I'm the first one laid off.

201
00:11:15,511 --> 00:11:17,638
The thought of having to go to
the state unemployment office...

202
00:11:17,721 --> 00:11:19,765
and stand in line
with those scumbags...

203
00:11:19,849 --> 00:11:21,225
Shit.

204
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,228
You know there are people
in this world...

205
00:11:24,311 --> 00:11:26,730
that don't have to put up
with all this shit?

206
00:11:26,814 --> 00:11:28,983
Like that guy
that invented the pet rock.

207
00:11:29,817 --> 00:11:32,236
You see,
that's what you have to do.

208
00:11:33,070 --> 00:11:35,155
You have to use your mind...

209
00:11:35,239 --> 00:11:37,324
and come up with some really
great idea like that...

210
00:11:37,408 --> 00:11:39,702
and you can make millions...
never have to work again.

211
00:11:39,785 --> 00:11:41,912
You think the pet rock
was a really great idea?

212
00:11:41,996 --> 00:11:43,831
Sure it was.

213
00:11:43,914 --> 00:11:46,041
The guy made a million dollars.

214
00:11:48,627 --> 00:11:51,380
You know, I had an idea
like that once...

215
00:11:51,463 --> 00:11:52,923
a long time ago.

216
00:11:54,091 --> 00:11:55,551
Really? What was it, Tom?

217
00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:58,137
Well, all right.

218
00:11:58,220 --> 00:12:02,224
It was
a "Jump to Conclusions" mat.

219
00:12:03,809 --> 00:12:06,103
You see, it would be this mat...

220
00:12:06,187 --> 00:12:08,355
that you would
put on the floor...

221
00:12:08,439 --> 00:12:12,651
and it would have different
conclusions written on it...

222
00:12:12,735 --> 00:12:15,029
that you could jump to.

223
00:12:20,075 --> 00:12:22,328
That is the worst idea
I've ever heard in my life, Tom.

224
00:12:22,411 --> 00:12:26,123
Yes. Yes, it's horrible,
this idea.

225
00:12:28,584 --> 00:12:30,169
Uh, look...

226
00:12:30,252 --> 00:12:31,587
I gotta get outta here.

227
00:12:32,421 --> 00:12:33,422
I'll see you guys later...

228
00:12:33,506 --> 00:12:35,424
if I still have a job.

229
00:12:36,258 --> 00:12:37,343
Yeah.

230
00:12:37,426 --> 00:12:39,220
Our high school
guidance counselor...

231
00:12:39,303 --> 00:12:41,639
used to ask us what you would do
if you had a million dollars...

232
00:12:41,722 --> 00:12:42,806
didn't have to work...

233
00:12:42,890 --> 00:12:46,101
and whatever you'd say
was supposed to be your career.

234
00:12:46,185 --> 00:12:47,645
So if you wanted
to fix old cars...

235
00:12:47,728 --> 00:12:49,480
then you're supposed
to be an auto mechanic.

236
00:12:49,563 --> 00:12:50,648
So what did you say?

237
00:12:50,731 --> 00:12:52,608
I never had an answer.

238
00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:55,319
I guess that's why
I'm working at Initech.

239
00:12:55,402 --> 00:12:56,862
No. You're working at Initech...

240
00:12:56,946 --> 00:12:59,031
'cause that question
is bullshit to begin with.

241
00:12:59,114 --> 00:13:00,741
If everyone listened to her,
there'd be no janitors...

242
00:13:00,824 --> 00:13:03,160
because no one would clean shit
if they had a million dollars.

243
00:13:03,244 --> 00:13:05,621
You know what I would do
if I had a million dollars?

244
00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:08,833
I would invest half of it
in glorious mutual funds...

245
00:13:08,916 --> 00:13:11,335
and then take the other half
to my friend Asadulah...

246
00:13:11,418 --> 00:13:12,503
who works in securities...

247
00:13:12,586 --> 00:13:14,713
Samir. Samir,
you're missing the point.

248
00:13:14,797 --> 00:13:16,382
The point of the exercise is
you're supposed to figure out...

249
00:13:16,465 --> 00:13:18,926
what you would want to do if...

250
00:13:20,052 --> 00:13:22,930
"PC load letter"?
What the fuck does that mean?

251
00:13:45,077 --> 00:13:47,872
Hey, Peter, man!
Check out channel nine!

252
00:13:47,955 --> 00:13:49,165
Check out this chick!

253
00:13:49,248 --> 00:13:51,667
Damn it! Lawrence,
can't you just pretend...

254
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:53,711
like we can't hear
each other through the wall?

255
00:13:53,794 --> 00:13:56,046
Oh, sorry, man!
Anne over there or somethin'?

256
00:13:56,130 --> 00:13:57,298
No, but...

257
00:13:58,257 --> 00:14:00,843
If you want to talk to me,
just come over.

258
00:14:04,221 --> 00:14:07,266
Hey, man, check this out, dude.

259
00:14:09,602 --> 00:14:12,104
The key is early detection.

260
00:14:12,188 --> 00:14:13,272
Tumors that are detected...

261
00:14:13,355 --> 00:14:15,316
Aw, jeez, Lawrence.

262
00:14:15,399 --> 00:14:17,151
Sorry, man. I thought
you'd want to see this.

263
00:14:18,277 --> 00:14:19,653
Doesn't that chick
look like Anne?

264
00:14:19,737 --> 00:14:21,322
Yeah.

265
00:14:21,405 --> 00:14:22,615
A little bit. I...

266
00:14:22,698 --> 00:14:24,491
Hey, she hasn't been over here
in a while.

267
00:14:24,575 --> 00:14:25,951
You two still goin' out?

268
00:14:26,035 --> 00:14:27,661
Yeah.

269
00:14:27,745 --> 00:14:29,246
I guess. I... I don't know.

270
00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:31,624
Sometimes I get the feeling
like she's cheating on me.

271
00:14:31,707 --> 00:14:33,876
Yeah. I get that feeling,
too, man.

272
00:14:35,336 --> 00:14:36,795
What do you mean by that?

273
00:14:36,879 --> 00:14:38,422
I don't know, man.

274
00:14:39,215 --> 00:14:41,467
I just get that feeling
lookin' at her, like...

275
00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:43,886
she's the type of chick
that just...

276
00:14:44,887 --> 00:14:46,055
Uhh.

277
00:14:48,974 --> 00:14:51,143
Oh, I'm sorry, man. Look, I... I...

278
00:14:51,227 --> 00:14:53,270
You know,
I'm talkin' outta my ass.

279
00:14:53,354 --> 00:14:54,688
Forget it. Don't worry.
It's all right.

280
00:14:54,772 --> 00:14:56,482
Just... I had a rough day.

281
00:14:56,565 --> 00:14:58,192
Tell me about it, man.

282
00:14:58,275 --> 00:14:59,735
Ohh...

283
00:15:00,819 --> 00:15:02,571
Ooh, I gotta wake my ass up...

284
00:15:02,655 --> 00:15:05,658
at 6:00 a.m.
every day this week...

285
00:15:05,741 --> 00:15:07,868
drag up to Las Golindas.

286
00:15:07,952 --> 00:15:10,746
I'm doin' the drywall up there
at the new McDonald's.

287
00:15:11,372 --> 00:15:12,540
Let me ask you something.

288
00:15:13,874 --> 00:15:16,126
When you come in on Monday, and
you're not feelin' real well...

289
00:15:16,210 --> 00:15:17,336
does anyone ever say to you...

290
00:15:17,419 --> 00:15:19,922
"Sounds like someone
has a case of the Mondays"?

291
00:15:21,549 --> 00:15:22,716
No.

292
00:15:23,551 --> 00:15:24,969
No, man.

293
00:15:26,262 --> 00:15:27,638
Shit, no, man.

294
00:15:27,721 --> 00:15:30,307
You'd get your ass kicked,
sayin' something like that, man.

295
00:15:30,391 --> 00:15:31,976
Huh.

296
00:15:32,059 --> 00:15:33,477
We still goin' fishin'
this weekend?

297
00:15:33,561 --> 00:15:35,646
Ah, Lumbergh's gonna have me
come in on Saturday.

298
00:15:35,729 --> 00:15:36,814
I just know it.

299
00:15:36,897 --> 00:15:38,315
Well, you can
get out of that easily.

300
00:15:38,399 --> 00:15:40,442
Yeah? How?

301
00:15:40,526 --> 00:15:41,694
Well...

302
00:15:42,403 --> 00:15:44,154
when a boss wants you
to work on Saturday...

303
00:15:44,238 --> 00:15:47,199
he generally asks you
at the end of the day, right?

304
00:15:47,283 --> 00:15:48,367
Yeah.

305
00:15:48,450 --> 00:15:50,452
So all you gotta do is
avoid him... that's all right...

306
00:15:50,536 --> 00:15:52,746
I got it... on the last few hours
on Friday...

307
00:15:52,830 --> 00:15:54,665
duck out early...

308
00:15:54,748 --> 00:15:56,333
turn off
your answering machine...

309
00:15:56,417 --> 00:15:58,085
you should be home free, man.

310
00:16:00,546 --> 00:16:02,214
That's a really good idea.

311
00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:04,258
Fuckin' "A," man.

312
00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:09,847
Lawrence, what would you do
if you had a million dollars?

313
00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:11,849
I'll tell you what I'd do, man.

314
00:16:13,017 --> 00:16:15,186
Two chicks
at the same time, man.

315
00:16:19,607 --> 00:16:21,108
That's it?

316
00:16:21,192 --> 00:16:22,359
If you had a million dollars...

317
00:16:22,443 --> 00:16:24,486
you'd do two chicks
at the same time?

318
00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:27,323
Damn straight. I've always
wanted to do that, man.

319
00:16:27,406 --> 00:16:30,159
I think if I were a millionaire,
I could hook that up, too...

320
00:16:30,242 --> 00:16:31,994
'cause chicks dig dudes
with money.

321
00:16:32,077 --> 00:16:33,454
Well, not all chicks.

322
00:16:33,537 --> 00:16:36,290
The type of chicks that would
double up on a dude like me do.

323
00:16:36,373 --> 00:16:37,500
Good point.

324
00:16:37,583 --> 00:16:39,502
What about you, now?
What would you do?

325
00:16:39,585 --> 00:16:40,961
Besides two chicks
at the same time?

326
00:16:41,045 --> 00:16:42,213
Well, yeah.

327
00:16:42,296 --> 00:16:43,839
Nothing.

328
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:45,925
Nothin', huh?

329
00:16:46,008 --> 00:16:48,177
I would relax.

330
00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:50,429
I would sit on my ass all day.

331
00:16:52,097 --> 00:16:53,682
I would do nothing.

332
00:16:53,766 --> 00:16:56,352
You don't need a million dollars
to do nothin', man.

333
00:16:56,435 --> 00:16:57,895
Take a look at my cousin.

334
00:16:57,978 --> 00:17:00,064
He's broke, don't do shit.

335
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,861
Corporate accounts
payable. Nina speaking.

336
00:17:05,945 --> 00:17:07,363
Just a moment.

337
00:17:07,446 --> 00:17:09,865
Corporate accounts payable.
Nina speaking.

338
00:17:09,949 --> 00:17:11,825
Just a moment.

339
00:17:11,909 --> 00:17:14,161
Corporate accounts payable.
Nina speaking.

340
00:17:14,245 --> 00:17:15,830
Just a moment.

341
00:17:16,747 --> 00:17:18,499
So, you should ask yourself...

342
00:17:18,582 --> 00:17:21,126
with every decision you make...

343
00:17:21,210 --> 00:17:23,337
"Is this good for the company?

344
00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:25,047
"Am I helping with..."

345
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:26,632
Is that the guy?

346
00:17:26,715 --> 00:17:28,843
Yeah. We're screwed.

347
00:17:28,926 --> 00:17:31,554
OK, then, um...

348
00:17:32,429 --> 00:17:35,057
I'd like to go ahead
and welcome, uh...

349
00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:37,476
a new member to our team here.

350
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:38,894
This is, uh...

351
00:17:40,062 --> 00:17:41,480
Bob Slydell.

352
00:17:43,107 --> 00:17:45,025
Yeah. Uh...

353
00:17:45,109 --> 00:17:47,528
Bob is a consultant.

354
00:17:48,737 --> 00:17:51,198
Yeah. He's gonna be
sort of, uh...

355
00:17:52,741 --> 00:17:53,826
helping us out...

356
00:17:53,909 --> 00:17:55,327
a little here...

357
00:17:55,411 --> 00:17:56,829
asking some questions...

358
00:17:56,912 --> 00:17:58,372
maybe seeing
if there are some ways...

359
00:17:58,455 --> 00:18:01,167
we can make things run
a little more smoothly...

360
00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:02,418
around here.

361
00:18:03,502 --> 00:18:05,254
Yeah.

362
00:18:05,337 --> 00:18:07,631
Oh, and remember, next Friday...

363
00:18:07,715 --> 00:18:10,050
is Hawaiian shirt day.

364
00:18:11,886 --> 00:18:15,639
So, you know, if you want to,
go ahead and, uh...

365
00:18:15,723 --> 00:18:17,308
wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

366
00:18:18,517 --> 00:18:21,187
And I said I don't care
if they lay me off, either.

367
00:18:21,270 --> 00:18:22,479
Because I told Bill...

368
00:18:22,563 --> 00:18:24,982
that if they move my desk
one more time...

369
00:18:25,065 --> 00:18:27,818
then I'm... I'm quitting.
I'm going to quit...

370
00:18:27,902 --> 00:18:29,361
and I told Dom, too...

371
00:18:29,445 --> 00:18:32,656
because they've moved my desk
four times already this year...

372
00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:34,909
and I used to be over
by the window...

373
00:18:34,992 --> 00:18:38,204
and I could see the squirrels,
and they were married...

374
00:18:38,287 --> 00:18:40,498
but then they switched
from the Swingline...

375
00:18:40,581 --> 00:18:43,000
to the Boston stapler, but
I kept my Swingline stapler...

376
00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:45,002
because it didn't
bind up as much...

377
00:18:45,085 --> 00:18:47,630
and I kept the staples
for the Swingline stapler.

378
00:18:47,713 --> 00:18:48,797
OK, Milton.

379
00:18:48,881 --> 00:18:50,966
No, it's not OK,
because if they make me...

380
00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:54,470
If they take my stapler,
then I'll... I'll... I'll...

381
00:18:54,553 --> 00:18:56,805
I'll set the building on fire.

382
00:18:56,889 --> 00:18:59,141
OK, well, that sounds great.

383
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,976
Uh, I'll talk to you later,
all right? Bye.

384
00:19:01,060 --> 00:19:02,228
Peter...

385
00:19:18,202 --> 00:19:19,411
Good-bye.

386
00:19:41,851 --> 00:19:43,227
Come on.

387
00:19:45,646 --> 00:19:47,356
Oh, for cryin'...

388
00:20:09,128 --> 00:20:11,589
Hello, Peter. What's happening?

389
00:20:11,672 --> 00:20:13,299
Um...

390
00:20:13,382 --> 00:20:15,301
I'm gonna need you...

391
00:20:15,384 --> 00:20:17,219
to go ahead
and come in tomorrow...

392
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:21,432
so if you could be here
around...

393
00:20:21,515 --> 00:20:23,976
nine, that would be great.

394
00:20:24,059 --> 00:20:25,269
OK?

395
00:20:27,021 --> 00:20:28,981
Oh, oh, and I almost forgot.

396
00:20:29,064 --> 00:20:30,816
Um...

397
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:33,652
I'm also gonna need you
to go ahead and come in...

398
00:20:33,736 --> 00:20:36,280
on Sunday, too, OK?

399
00:20:36,363 --> 00:20:37,990
We, um...

400
00:20:38,073 --> 00:20:39,825
lost some people this week...

401
00:20:39,909 --> 00:20:41,994
and, uh...

402
00:20:42,077 --> 00:20:44,079
we need to sort of play
catch-up.

403
00:20:44,163 --> 00:20:45,414
Thanks.

404
00:20:49,418 --> 00:20:50,961
So I was sitting
in my cubicle today...

405
00:20:51,045 --> 00:20:55,049
and I realized, ever since
I started working, um...

406
00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:58,802
every single day of my life
has been worse than...

407
00:20:58,886 --> 00:21:00,596
the day before it.

408
00:21:01,555 --> 00:21:05,267
So that means that every single
day that you see me...

409
00:21:06,227 --> 00:21:08,103
that's on the worst day
of my life.

410
00:21:08,854 --> 00:21:10,314
What about today?

411
00:21:10,397 --> 00:21:11,649
Is today
the worst day of your life?

412
00:21:11,732 --> 00:21:14,360
- Yeah.
- Wow. That's messed up.

413
00:21:17,238 --> 00:21:18,739
I'm sorry.

414
00:21:18,822 --> 00:21:20,032
Go on.

415
00:21:20,115 --> 00:21:23,661
Is there any way
that you could sort of...

416
00:21:23,744 --> 00:21:26,497
just zonk me out so that, like,
I don't know...

417
00:21:26,580 --> 00:21:28,999
that I'm at work... in here?

418
00:21:29,083 --> 00:21:30,501
Could I come home...

419
00:21:30,584 --> 00:21:34,004
and think that I've been fishing
all day or something?

420
00:21:34,088 --> 00:21:36,799
That's... really not what I do,
Peter.

421
00:21:36,882 --> 00:21:38,133
Heh.

422
00:21:38,217 --> 00:21:39,385
However...

423
00:21:40,386 --> 00:21:42,930
the good news is,
I think I can help you.

424
00:21:43,889 --> 00:21:46,058
I want you to do something
for me, Peter.

425
00:21:47,726 --> 00:21:49,937
I want you to try and relax.

426
00:21:53,482 --> 00:21:56,485
I want you to relax
every muscle in your body...

427
00:21:56,569 --> 00:22:00,906
beginning with your toes
to your fingertips.

428
00:22:03,659 --> 00:22:05,828
Now I want you
to relax your legs.

429
00:22:07,204 --> 00:22:09,832
You're beginning to feel
your eyelids getting heavy...

430
00:22:10,958 --> 00:22:13,169
as you slip deeper and deeper...

431
00:22:13,252 --> 00:22:16,505
into a state
of complete relaxation.

432
00:22:16,589 --> 00:22:20,759
All your cares and concerns
are disappearing.

433
00:22:20,843 --> 00:22:22,344
Deeper and deeper.

434
00:22:22,428 --> 00:22:24,346
Way down.

435
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:26,640
Your concern about your job...

436
00:22:27,433 --> 00:22:29,643
melts away...

437
00:22:29,727 --> 00:22:31,645
way...

438
00:22:31,729 --> 00:22:33,147
way down.

439
00:22:33,230 --> 00:22:34,565
Unh.

440
00:22:37,193 --> 00:22:39,069
Now, when I count backwards
from three...

441
00:22:39,778 --> 00:22:42,531
you'll be in a state
of complete relaxation.

442
00:22:42,615 --> 00:22:45,576
Your worries, cares,
and inhibitions will be gone...

443
00:22:46,410 --> 00:22:48,287
and you will remain
in that state...

444
00:22:49,497 --> 00:22:51,790
until I snap my fingers.

445
00:22:51,874 --> 00:22:53,334
Three.

446
00:22:53,417 --> 00:22:55,085
Deeper and deeper.

447
00:22:55,169 --> 00:22:56,795
Way...

448
00:22:56,879 --> 00:22:58,339
way down.

449
00:22:58,422 --> 00:23:00,424
Two.

450
00:23:00,508 --> 00:23:02,510
Deeper and deeper...

451
00:23:02,593 --> 00:23:05,429
W-w-w-way down...

452
00:23:07,473 --> 00:23:09,850
Whu... whu...

453
00:23:09,934 --> 00:23:11,143
One.

454
00:23:12,311 --> 00:23:15,064
Oh, my God!
Dr. Swanson!

455
00:23:16,106 --> 00:23:17,816
Ew... ew...

456
00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:19,151
- Is he breathing?
- Call 911!

457
00:23:19,235 --> 00:23:22,988
Oh! Where's the phone?
Where's the goddamn phone?!

458
00:23:49,056 --> 00:23:50,558
Ahh...

459
00:23:58,065 --> 00:24:00,192
Yeah, hi, it's Bill Lumbergh.

460
00:24:00,276 --> 00:24:01,485
It's about...

461
00:24:01,569 --> 00:24:03,320
ten o'clock.

462
00:24:03,404 --> 00:24:04,822
Yeah. Just, uh...

463
00:24:04,905 --> 00:24:06,282
wondering where you are.

464
00:24:08,909 --> 00:24:11,996
Yeah. Hi.
It's Bill Lumbergh again.

465
00:24:12,079 --> 00:24:12,997
Uh...

466
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,665
I just wanted
to make sure you knew...

467
00:24:14,748 --> 00:24:17,209
that we did start
at the, uh...

468
00:24:17,293 --> 00:24:19,670
usual time this morning.

469
00:24:19,753 --> 00:24:22,965
Yeah. It isn't a half day
or anything like that...

470
00:24:23,048 --> 00:24:25,009
so if you could just go ahead...

471
00:24:25,092 --> 00:24:27,094
and get here
as soon as possible...

472
00:24:27,178 --> 00:24:29,054
that would be terrific.

473
00:24:35,519 --> 00:24:36,687
Ahh...

474
00:24:48,574 --> 00:24:50,784
Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lum...

475
00:24:50,868 --> 00:24:54,121
Yeah. It's...
Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lumber...

476
00:24:54,205 --> 00:24:55,998
Yeah. It's me again.

477
00:24:56,081 --> 00:24:58,918
Uh, I was away from my desk
for a minute.

478
00:24:59,001 --> 00:25:02,171
Just checking in.

479
00:25:03,380 --> 00:25:04,465
Hello?

480
00:25:04,548 --> 00:25:06,217
Peter, what's going on?

481
00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:07,468
Huh?

482
00:25:07,551 --> 00:25:09,970
It's three-thirty.
Why aren't you at work?

483
00:25:11,388 --> 00:25:12,973
Because I... I...

484
00:25:13,057 --> 00:25:14,475
I didn't feel like it.

485
00:25:15,226 --> 00:25:16,644
Peter, what's gotten into you?

486
00:25:16,727 --> 00:25:18,729
First, you just sit there
while Dr. Swanson dies...

487
00:25:18,812 --> 00:25:21,649
then you walk out and embarrass
me in front of my friends...

488
00:25:21,732 --> 00:25:23,400
and don't blame this
on hypnosis, either.

489
00:25:23,484 --> 00:25:25,277
That's total bull...

490
00:25:31,325 --> 00:25:33,452
Listen, asshole.
Nobody hangs up on me.

491
00:25:33,536 --> 00:25:34,995
We're through.

492
00:25:35,079 --> 00:25:36,997
Oh, and one more thing...

493
00:25:37,081 --> 00:25:39,166
I've been cheating on you!

494
00:25:44,296 --> 00:25:47,049
So, from now on,
only use the new time sheets...

495
00:25:47,132 --> 00:25:51,637
if you've worked on two or more
job codes in one day...

496
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,682
and you need the extra columns
to fit it all in.

497
00:25:54,765 --> 00:25:56,058
Otherwise,
use the old time sheets...

498
00:25:56,141 --> 00:25:57,643
Where's Peter?

499
00:25:57,726 --> 00:25:59,144
I heard he didn't show up
this weekend.

500
00:25:59,228 --> 00:26:00,312
Uh, I don't know.

501
00:26:00,396 --> 00:26:01,897
...really, really help us out.

502
00:26:01,981 --> 00:26:03,482
Who's that guy?

503
00:26:03,566 --> 00:26:07,236
So, uh... any questions?

504
00:26:20,875 --> 00:26:22,293
Hi. I'm Peter.

505
00:26:22,376 --> 00:26:23,460
Hi. Can I help you?

506
00:26:23,544 --> 00:26:24,670
What are you doin'
for lunch today?

507
00:26:24,753 --> 00:26:28,299
Uh, well, our specials today
are blackened chicken.

508
00:26:28,382 --> 00:26:30,676
It's actually right there
on the board. Excuse me.

509
00:26:33,804 --> 00:26:35,139
Hey, look who's back!

510
00:26:35,222 --> 00:26:36,932
Table for three to...

511
00:26:39,768 --> 00:26:41,687
I was askin'
what you were doin' for lunch.

512
00:26:41,770 --> 00:26:43,397
Would you like to have lunch
with me?

513
00:26:44,982 --> 00:26:46,192
Are you... are you serious?

514
00:26:46,275 --> 00:26:47,443
Yeah.

515
00:26:48,611 --> 00:26:51,739
Yeah. I... I don't think
I'm supposed to do that.

516
00:26:52,364 --> 00:26:54,742
Oh. OK, well,
I'll tell you what I'll do.

517
00:26:54,825 --> 00:26:56,243
I'm gonna go next door
and get a table...

518
00:26:56,327 --> 00:26:57,995
and if you'd like
to join me, uh...

519
00:26:58,078 --> 00:26:59,330
no big deal, all right?

520
00:26:59,413 --> 00:27:01,290
And if not, that's cool, too.

521
00:27:01,373 --> 00:27:02,583
- OK?
- OK.

522
00:27:02,666 --> 00:27:03,792
All right.

523
00:27:04,793 --> 00:27:05,878
When you say,
"next door..."

524
00:27:05,961 --> 00:27:08,464
do you mean
Chili's or Flinger's?

525
00:27:08,547 --> 00:27:10,174
Flinger's.

526
00:27:10,257 --> 00:27:11,425
OK.

527
00:27:12,718 --> 00:27:14,929
What you do at Initech...

528
00:27:15,012 --> 00:27:17,806
is you take the specifications
from the customers...

529
00:27:17,890 --> 00:27:20,309
and you bring them down
to the software engineers?

530
00:27:20,392 --> 00:27:22,645
Yes. Y-yes.
That's... that's right.

531
00:27:22,728 --> 00:27:24,355
Well, then I just have to ask...

532
00:27:24,438 --> 00:27:25,648
why couldn't the customers...

533
00:27:25,731 --> 00:27:29,276
just take them directly
to the software people, huh?

534
00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:31,403
Well, I'll tell you why.

535
00:27:32,738 --> 00:27:34,323
Uh, because...

536
00:27:34,406 --> 00:27:37,660
engineers are not good
at dealing with customers.

537
00:27:37,743 --> 00:27:39,411
Uh-huh. So...

538
00:27:40,412 --> 00:27:45,084
you physically take the specs
from the customer?

539
00:27:46,043 --> 00:27:47,253
Well...

540
00:27:48,671 --> 00:27:51,799
no. My secretary does that
or the fax.

541
00:27:51,882 --> 00:27:53,592
Huh.

542
00:27:53,676 --> 00:27:55,386
So then you must
physically bring them...

543
00:27:55,469 --> 00:27:56,512
to the software people.

544
00:27:56,595 --> 00:27:57,721
Well...

545
00:27:59,098 --> 00:28:00,182
no.

546
00:28:00,266 --> 00:28:01,517
I mean...

547
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,143
sometimes.

548
00:28:03,227 --> 00:28:07,481
What... what would you
say you do here?

549
00:28:08,566 --> 00:28:10,651
Well, look,
I already told you.

550
00:28:10,734 --> 00:28:12,987
I deal with
the goddamn customers...

551
00:28:13,070 --> 00:28:14,864
so the engineers don't have to.

552
00:28:14,947 --> 00:28:16,991
I have people skills.

553
00:28:17,074 --> 00:28:19,034
I am good at dealing
with people!

554
00:28:19,118 --> 00:28:20,494
Can't you understand that?!

555
00:28:20,578 --> 00:28:22,997
What the hell is wrong
with you people?!

556
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,290
I...

557
00:28:30,921 --> 00:28:32,006
Let's see...

558
00:28:32,089 --> 00:28:34,300
you are...

559
00:28:34,383 --> 00:28:35,676
Michael...

560
00:28:37,094 --> 00:28:39,805
- Bolton?
- Yeah.

561
00:28:41,223 --> 00:28:42,391
Is that your real name?

562
00:28:43,142 --> 00:28:44,310
Yeah.

563
00:28:46,353 --> 00:28:48,397
Are you any relation
to the pop singer?

564
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,482
No, it's... it's
just a coincidence.

565
00:28:50,566 --> 00:28:52,109
Ha ha.
To be honest with you...

566
00:28:52,193 --> 00:28:53,819
I love his music. I do.

567
00:28:53,903 --> 00:28:56,030
- I'm a Michael Bolton fan.
- Me, too.

568
00:28:56,113 --> 00:28:57,781
For my money, I don't
know if it gets any better...

569
00:28:57,865 --> 00:29:00,326
than when he sings
"When a Man Loves a Woman."

570
00:29:00,409 --> 00:29:02,328
But you must really
love his music, huh?

571
00:29:05,247 --> 00:29:06,540
Yeah, he's... he's...

572
00:29:06,624 --> 00:29:08,292
he's pretty...
he's pretty good, I guess.

573
00:29:08,375 --> 00:29:09,960
You're goddamn right, he is.

574
00:29:10,044 --> 00:29:12,505
Right.

575
00:29:12,588 --> 00:29:15,049
So tell me, what's
your favorite song of his?

576
00:29:15,966 --> 00:29:17,384
Mmm...

577
00:29:20,137 --> 00:29:22,139
I don't... I don't know.
Heh heh.

578
00:29:22,223 --> 00:29:24,558
I mean, I guess I sort
of like them all.

579
00:29:24,642 --> 00:29:27,770
That's a riot.
I'm the exact same way.

580
00:29:27,853 --> 00:29:29,104
But it must be twice
as hard for you...

581
00:29:29,188 --> 00:29:30,606
being you have
the same name as him.

582
00:29:30,689 --> 00:29:33,567
I celebrate
the guy's entire catalogue.

583
00:29:33,651 --> 00:29:36,153
Anyway, let's get down
to business, Michael.

584
00:29:36,237 --> 00:29:38,405
You know,
you can just call me Mike.

585
00:29:43,869 --> 00:29:44,954
Hi.

586
00:29:45,037 --> 00:29:46,330
Hey.

587
00:29:48,249 --> 00:29:51,126
I wonder if I'm allowed
to, uh, wear this in here?

588
00:29:51,961 --> 00:29:53,295
I think it would be OK.

589
00:29:54,964 --> 00:29:56,048
Would you like to sit down?

590
00:29:56,131 --> 00:29:57,383
OK.

591
00:29:58,551 --> 00:29:59,718
Ahh.

592
00:30:01,220 --> 00:30:02,304
Wow!

593
00:30:02,388 --> 00:30:05,140
This place is really... nice.

594
00:30:05,224 --> 00:30:07,518
Yeah. Is it?

595
00:30:07,601 --> 00:30:09,812
Yeah, my God,
compared to Chotchkie's!

596
00:30:09,895 --> 00:30:12,231
I like the uniforms better,
anyways.

597
00:30:13,065 --> 00:30:14,149
I like yours.

598
00:30:14,233 --> 00:30:15,401
Ugh!

599
00:30:18,654 --> 00:30:20,239
"We're not in Kansas anymore."

600
00:30:20,322 --> 00:30:22,366
Yeah.

601
00:30:22,449 --> 00:30:24,827
Really. Ha ha.

602
00:30:24,910 --> 00:30:26,328
It's on your...

603
00:30:27,663 --> 00:30:29,832
Ohh! Yeah. That's...

604
00:30:29,915 --> 00:30:31,792
That's, uh...

605
00:30:31,876 --> 00:30:34,837
That's one of my...
my pieces of flair.

606
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,005
What's a "piece of flair"?

607
00:30:36,088 --> 00:30:38,090
Oh, it's, uh, where, you know...

608
00:30:38,174 --> 00:30:41,719
like these suspenders and, uh,
buttons, they're all sort of...

609
00:30:41,802 --> 00:30:43,846
We're actually required
to wear...

610
00:30:43,929 --> 00:30:46,891
um, fifteen pieces of flair.

611
00:30:46,974 --> 00:30:49,143
It's really stupid, actually.

612
00:30:49,226 --> 00:30:50,436
Do you get to pick 'em
yourself?

613
00:30:50,519 --> 00:30:51,979
Yeah, yeah, we do.

614
00:30:52,062 --> 00:30:53,189
Although I didn't actually
choose these.

615
00:30:53,272 --> 00:30:57,568
I just sort of grabbed,
you know, fifteen buttons.

616
00:30:57,651 --> 00:31:00,404
I don't even know what they say.
I don't really care.

617
00:31:01,071 --> 00:31:02,698
I don't really like
talking about my flair.

618
00:31:02,781 --> 00:31:04,158
OK.

619
00:31:04,241 --> 00:31:07,244
So, where do you, work, Peter?

620
00:31:07,328 --> 00:31:08,829
Initech.

621
00:31:08,913 --> 00:31:10,706
And... Yeah?
What... what do you do there?

622
00:31:11,790 --> 00:31:13,459
I sit in a cubicle...

623
00:31:13,542 --> 00:31:16,545
and I update bank software
for the 2000 switch.

624
00:31:17,963 --> 00:31:19,089
What's that?

625
00:31:19,173 --> 00:31:21,300
Well, see, they wrote
all this bank software...

626
00:31:21,383 --> 00:31:23,302
and, uh, to save space...

627
00:31:23,385 --> 00:31:25,137
they used two digits
for the date instead of four.

628
00:31:25,221 --> 00:31:28,140
So like 98 instead of 1998.

629
00:31:28,224 --> 00:31:31,435
Uh, so I go through these
thousands of lines of code...

630
00:31:31,519 --> 00:31:34,313
and, uh...
It doesn't really matter.

631
00:31:34,396 --> 00:31:37,274
I, uh, I don't like my job,
and, uh...

632
00:31:37,358 --> 00:31:39,652
I don't think I'm gonna go
anymore.

633
00:31:40,903 --> 00:31:42,154
You're just not gonna go?

634
00:31:42,238 --> 00:31:43,405
Yeah.

635
00:31:43,489 --> 00:31:44,657
Won't you get fired?

636
00:31:45,574 --> 00:31:46,784
I don't know.

637
00:31:46,867 --> 00:31:50,663
But I really don't like it,
and, uh, I'm not gonna go.

638
00:31:51,831 --> 00:31:52,832
So you're gonna quit?

639
00:31:52,915 --> 00:31:56,085
Nah-uh. Not really. Uh...

640
00:31:56,168 --> 00:31:57,753
I'm just gonna stop going.

641
00:32:00,047 --> 00:32:01,131
What?

642
00:32:01,215 --> 00:32:03,300
Uh, when did you decide
all that?

643
00:32:03,384 --> 00:32:04,468
About an hour ago.

644
00:32:04,552 --> 00:32:05,970
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

645
00:32:06,053 --> 00:32:07,221
An hour ago.

646
00:32:08,556 --> 00:32:10,099
So you're gonna get another job?

647
00:32:10,182 --> 00:32:12,309
I don't think I'd like
another job.

648
00:32:12,393 --> 00:32:16,230
Well, what are you going to do
about money and bills and...

649
00:32:16,313 --> 00:32:18,816
You know, I've never
really liked paying bills.

650
00:32:18,899 --> 00:32:20,401
I don't think
I'm gonna do that, either.

651
00:32:22,444 --> 00:32:23,571
Ahh...

652
00:32:23,654 --> 00:32:25,739
well, so what do you want to do?

653
00:32:25,823 --> 00:32:27,783
I want to take you
out to dinner...

654
00:32:27,867 --> 00:32:30,161
and then I want to go back to my
apartment and watch "Kung Fu."

655
00:32:30,244 --> 00:32:31,579
Do you ever watch "Kung Fu"?

656
00:32:33,706 --> 00:32:35,374
I love "Kung Fu."

657
00:32:35,457 --> 00:32:37,710
- Channel 39.
- Totally.

658
00:32:37,793 --> 00:32:39,545
You should come over
and watch "Kung Fu" tonight.

659
00:32:39,628 --> 00:32:41,589
- OK.
- Great.

660
00:32:41,672 --> 00:32:43,799
OK. Can we order lunch first?

661
00:32:43,883 --> 00:32:45,426
- Yeah.
- OK.

662
00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:03,194
Took a stapler off my desk...

663
00:33:09,783 --> 00:33:12,495
Anyway, sounds great, Bob.
See you in a few.

664
00:33:15,164 --> 00:33:17,625
Hi, Milton. What's happening?

665
00:33:17,708 --> 00:33:19,293
Nothing.

666
00:33:19,376 --> 00:33:21,295
I'm going to have
to ask you to go ahead...

667
00:33:21,378 --> 00:33:23,631
and move your desk
again, so...

668
00:33:23,714 --> 00:33:26,467
if you could go ahead
and get it as far back...

669
00:33:26,550 --> 00:33:28,385
against that wall as possible...

670
00:33:28,469 --> 00:33:29,720
that would be great.

671
00:33:29,803 --> 00:33:31,305
No, because I was...

672
00:33:31,388 --> 00:33:32,848
That way,
we'll have some room...

673
00:33:32,932 --> 00:33:34,725
for some of these boxes
and things...

674
00:33:34,808 --> 00:33:37,937
we need to put in here,
and, uh...

675
00:33:38,020 --> 00:33:41,440
Oh. Oh, there it is.

676
00:33:41,524 --> 00:33:44,193
Here, let me just go ahead
and get that from you.

677
00:33:46,362 --> 00:33:47,655
Great.

678
00:33:48,823 --> 00:33:52,076
So if you could just get to that
as soon as possible...

679
00:33:52,159 --> 00:33:54,870
that would be terrific, OK?

680
00:33:54,954 --> 00:33:57,623
Thanks a bunch, Milton.
Good-bye.

681
00:33:57,706 --> 00:34:00,042
OK.

682
00:34:01,043 --> 00:34:03,420
I could set the building
on fire.

683
00:34:06,715 --> 00:34:08,717
- Peter.
- Michael.

684
00:34:08,801 --> 00:34:09,885
What the hell's going on, man?

685
00:34:09,969 --> 00:34:11,804
I thought you'd come in here
and start shooting.

686
00:34:11,887 --> 00:34:13,931
No. I just came to get
my address book.

687
00:34:14,014 --> 00:34:15,140
I'm not gonna stay.

688
00:34:15,224 --> 00:34:17,518
I got a phone number,
Mike, that I don't wanna lose.

689
00:34:17,601 --> 00:34:19,311
What?
Peter, you're in deep shit.

690
00:34:19,395 --> 00:34:21,397
You were supposed to come in
Saturday. What were you doing?

691
00:34:22,273 --> 00:34:25,109
Michael, I did nothing.

692
00:34:25,192 --> 00:34:26,652
I did absolutely nothing...

693
00:34:26,735 --> 00:34:29,655
and it was everything
that I thought it could be.

694
00:34:29,738 --> 00:34:32,324
I hope you have
a better story for Lumbergh.

695
00:34:32,408 --> 00:34:34,994
You're supposed to be at your
interview with the consultants.

696
00:34:35,077 --> 00:34:36,203
The who?

697
00:34:36,287 --> 00:34:38,581
The consultants.
What has gotten into you?

698
00:34:40,541 --> 00:34:43,836
Oh, yeah... right.

699
00:34:44,753 --> 00:34:47,590
Wait, Peter.
You gotta postpone it, man.

700
00:34:47,673 --> 00:34:48,757
Tell 'em you've been sick.
Make something up.

701
00:34:48,841 --> 00:34:50,968
Oh, no way. No, I feel great.

702
00:34:51,051 --> 00:34:52,887
It's the best day of my life.

703
00:34:55,139 --> 00:34:57,474
Next batter
looks like a Peter Gibbons.

704
00:34:57,558 --> 00:34:58,684
Uh-huh.

705
00:34:58,767 --> 00:35:01,061
Ah, there you are.
We were just talking about you.

706
00:35:01,145 --> 00:35:02,771
You must be Peter Gibbons.

707
00:35:02,855 --> 00:35:04,190
Uh-huh. Terrific.

708
00:35:04,273 --> 00:35:06,650
I'm Bob Slydell. This is
my associate Bob Porter.

709
00:35:06,734 --> 00:35:08,152
Oh, hi, Bob. Bob.

710
00:35:08,235 --> 00:35:10,779
Grab a seat
and join us for a minute or two.

711
00:35:12,323 --> 00:35:14,033
You see, what we're
actually trying to do here...

712
00:35:14,116 --> 00:35:17,036
is we're just,
we're trying to get a feel...

713
00:35:17,119 --> 00:35:18,996
for how people spend their day
at work.

714
00:35:19,079 --> 00:35:20,706
So if you would...

715
00:35:20,789 --> 00:35:24,376
would you walk us through
a typical day for you?

716
00:35:25,544 --> 00:35:27,796
- Yeah.
- Great.

717
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:31,342
Well, I generally come in
at least fifteen minutes late.

718
00:35:31,425 --> 00:35:33,844
Uh, I use the side door.

719
00:35:33,928 --> 00:35:36,889
That way Lumbergh can't see me.

720
00:35:36,972 --> 00:35:40,893
And after that, I just sort of
space out for about an hour.

721
00:35:40,976 --> 00:35:43,479
Uh, "space out"?

722
00:35:43,562 --> 00:35:44,647
Yeah.

723
00:35:44,730 --> 00:35:46,565
I just stare at my desk.

724
00:35:46,649 --> 00:35:48,108
But it looks like I'm working.

725
00:35:48,192 --> 00:35:51,987
I do that for probably
another hour after lunch, too.

726
00:35:52,071 --> 00:35:53,864
I'd say in a given week...

727
00:35:53,948 --> 00:35:55,783
I probably only do
about fifteen minutes...

728
00:35:55,866 --> 00:35:58,744
of real, actual work.

729
00:36:00,246 --> 00:36:03,457
Peter,
would you be a good sport...

730
00:36:03,541 --> 00:36:05,501
and indulge us and just...

731
00:36:05,584 --> 00:36:06,627
tell us a little more?

732
00:36:06,710 --> 00:36:08,170
Oh, yeah.

733
00:36:08,254 --> 00:36:11,924
Let me tell you something
about T.P.S. reports.

734
00:36:12,007 --> 00:36:13,133
Ahh...

735
00:36:13,217 --> 00:36:16,595
The thing is, Bob,
it's not that I'm lazy.

736
00:36:16,679 --> 00:36:18,639
It's that I just don't care.

737
00:36:18,722 --> 00:36:20,891
Don't... don't care?

738
00:36:20,975 --> 00:36:23,477
It's a problem of motivation,
all right?

739
00:36:23,561 --> 00:36:25,145
Now, if I work my ass off...

740
00:36:25,229 --> 00:36:27,106
and Initech
ships a few extra units...

741
00:36:27,189 --> 00:36:28,983
I don't see another dime.

742
00:36:29,066 --> 00:36:30,693
So where's the motivation?

743
00:36:31,443 --> 00:36:33,320
And here's something else,
Bob...

744
00:36:33,404 --> 00:36:35,322
I have eight different bosses
right now.

745
00:36:35,406 --> 00:36:36,490
- I beg your pardon?
- Eight bosses.

746
00:36:36,574 --> 00:36:37,658
- Eight?
- Eight, Bob.

747
00:36:37,741 --> 00:36:40,494
So that means that
when I make a mistake...

748
00:36:40,578 --> 00:36:44,123
I have eight different people
coming by to tell me about it.

749
00:36:44,206 --> 00:36:47,501
That's my only real motivation,
is not to be hassled.

750
00:36:47,585 --> 00:36:48,794
That and the fear
of losing my job.

751
00:36:48,878 --> 00:36:50,713
But you know, Bob...

752
00:36:50,796 --> 00:36:52,464
that'll only make someone
work just hard enough...

753
00:36:52,548 --> 00:36:53,716
not to get fired.

754
00:36:54,383 --> 00:36:57,303
Would you bear with me
for just a second, please?

755
00:36:57,386 --> 00:36:58,721
OK.

756
00:36:59,972 --> 00:37:01,724
What if...
and believe me...

757
00:37:01,807 --> 00:37:04,768
this is strictly hypothetical...

758
00:37:04,852 --> 00:37:08,856
but what if you were offered
some kind of a stock option...

759
00:37:08,939 --> 00:37:10,649
equity-sharing program?

760
00:37:10,733 --> 00:37:11,984
Would that do anything for you?

761
00:37:12,067 --> 00:37:14,278
I don't know. I guess.
Listen, I'm gonna go.

762
00:37:14,361 --> 00:37:17,323
Uh, it's been really nice
talking to both of you guys.

763
00:37:17,406 --> 00:37:18,657
- Yes.
- Absolutely.

764
00:37:18,741 --> 00:37:21,327
Pleasure's all on this
side of the table, trust me.

765
00:37:21,410 --> 00:37:22,953
Good luck
with your layoffs, all right?

766
00:37:23,037 --> 00:37:24,788
I hope your firings
go really well.

767
00:37:24,872 --> 00:37:25,998
- OK.
- Thanks a lot.

768
00:37:26,081 --> 00:37:27,833
Great. Wow.

769
00:37:35,466 --> 00:37:37,801
So, Peter, what's happening?

770
00:37:37,885 --> 00:37:39,261
Listen, uh...

771
00:37:46,644 --> 00:37:48,979
Joanna, would you
come here a minute, please?

772
00:37:49,063 --> 00:37:50,940
Yeah.

773
00:37:51,023 --> 00:37:55,194
I'm sorry I was late, but I
was having lunch, and I, uh...

774
00:37:55,277 --> 00:37:56,904
We need to talk about
your flair.

775
00:37:57,780 --> 00:38:00,658
Really?
I... I have fifteen pieces on.

776
00:38:00,741 --> 00:38:02,201
I also...

777
00:38:02,284 --> 00:38:05,412
Well, fifteen
is the minimum, OK?

778
00:38:05,496 --> 00:38:06,580
Oh. OK.

779
00:38:06,664 --> 00:38:08,582
Now, you know,
it's up to you whether or not...

780
00:38:08,666 --> 00:38:11,502
you want to just
do the bare minimum or...

781
00:38:11,585 --> 00:38:12,795
Well, like Brian, for example...

782
00:38:12,878 --> 00:38:16,257
has thirty-seven pieces of flair
on today.

783
00:38:16,340 --> 00:38:17,633
And a terrific smile.

784
00:38:17,716 --> 00:38:20,052
OK, so you want me to wear more?

785
00:38:21,679 --> 00:38:22,763
Look, Joanna...

786
00:38:22,847 --> 00:38:23,931
Yeah?

787
00:38:24,014 --> 00:38:25,850
People can get
a cheeseburger anywhere, OK?

788
00:38:25,933 --> 00:38:29,061
They come to Chotchkie's for
the atmosphere and the attitude.

789
00:38:29,854 --> 00:38:31,146
OK? That's what
the flair's about.

790
00:38:31,230 --> 00:38:32,898
- It's about fun.
- Yeah.

791
00:38:32,982 --> 00:38:35,151
OK, so more then, yeah?

792
00:38:36,902 --> 00:38:40,114
Look, we want you
to express yourself, OK?

793
00:38:40,197 --> 00:38:44,618
Now if you feel that the bare
minimum is enough, then, OK...

794
00:38:44,702 --> 00:38:47,454
but some people choose
to wear more...

795
00:38:47,538 --> 00:38:49,415
and we encourage that, OK?

796
00:38:50,749 --> 00:38:52,751
You do want to express yourself,
don't you?

797
00:38:53,878 --> 00:38:54,962
Y-yeah.

798
00:38:55,045 --> 00:38:57,464
OK, great, great.
That's all I ask.

799
00:38:57,548 --> 00:38:59,175
OK.

800
00:39:00,301 --> 00:39:03,012
Right, so there's
three more people...

801
00:39:03,095 --> 00:39:05,097
we can easily lose.

802
00:39:05,181 --> 00:39:08,392
Then there's Tom Smykowski.

803
00:39:09,310 --> 00:39:10,394
He's useless.

804
00:39:10,477 --> 00:39:12,021
Gone.

805
00:39:12,104 --> 00:39:13,689
Sounds good to me.

806
00:39:13,772 --> 00:39:16,150
Here's a peculiar...

807
00:39:16,233 --> 00:39:18,486
- Uh, Milton Waddams.
- Who's he?

808
00:39:18,569 --> 00:39:20,571
You know, squirrelly
looking guy. Mumbles a lot.

809
00:39:20,654 --> 00:39:21,739
Oh, yeah.

810
00:39:21,822 --> 00:39:23,491
We... we can't actually
find a record...

811
00:39:23,574 --> 00:39:25,826
of him being
a current employee here.

812
00:39:25,910 --> 00:39:27,703
I looked into it
more deeply...

813
00:39:27,786 --> 00:39:29,705
and I found that
apparently what happened...

814
00:39:29,788 --> 00:39:32,500
is that he was laid off
five years ago...

815
00:39:32,583 --> 00:39:33,751
and no one ever
told him about it...

816
00:39:33,834 --> 00:39:36,295
but through some kind of glitch
in the payroll department...

817
00:39:36,378 --> 00:39:37,671
he still gets a paycheque.

818
00:39:37,755 --> 00:39:40,591
So we just went ahead
and fixed the glitch.

819
00:39:40,674 --> 00:39:41,759
Great.

820
00:39:41,842 --> 00:39:44,512
So, uh, Milton has been let go?

821
00:39:44,595 --> 00:39:45,679
Just a second there,
professor.

822
00:39:45,763 --> 00:39:49,308
We, uh, we fixed the glitch.

823
00:39:49,391 --> 00:39:51,519
So he won't be receiving
a paycheque anymore.

824
00:39:51,602 --> 00:39:54,063
So it'll just work itself out
naturally.

825
00:39:54,146 --> 00:39:57,191
We always like to avoid
confrontation whenever possible.

826
00:39:57,274 --> 00:39:58,359
The problem is solved
from your end.

827
00:39:59,610 --> 00:40:03,072
I'd like to move us
right along to a Peter Gibbons.

828
00:40:03,155 --> 00:40:05,699
Now, we had a chance
to meet this young man...

829
00:40:05,783 --> 00:40:08,369
and, boy, that's just
a straight shooter...

830
00:40:08,452 --> 00:40:10,120
with upper management
written all over him.

831
00:40:10,204 --> 00:40:12,581
Eech. Ooh.

832
00:40:12,665 --> 00:40:15,960
Yeah. Um...

833
00:40:16,043 --> 00:40:17,294
I'm going to have to go ahead...

834
00:40:17,378 --> 00:40:19,505
and sort of disagree
with you there.

835
00:40:19,588 --> 00:40:22,132
Yeah, uh, he's been
real flaky lately...

836
00:40:22,216 --> 00:40:25,970
and I'm just not sure
that he's the caliber person...

837
00:40:26,053 --> 00:40:28,305
that we would want
for upper management.

838
00:40:28,389 --> 00:40:31,058
He's also been having
some problems...

839
00:40:31,141 --> 00:40:33,060
with his T.P.S. reports.

840
00:40:34,144 --> 00:40:36,021
I'll handle this.

841
00:40:36,105 --> 00:40:39,149
We feel...

842
00:40:39,233 --> 00:40:41,318
that the problem
isn't with Peter.

843
00:40:41,402 --> 00:40:43,154
Mm-mmm.

844
00:40:43,237 --> 00:40:45,322
It's that you haven't
challenged him enough...

845
00:40:45,406 --> 00:40:46,490
to get him really motivated.

846
00:40:46,574 --> 00:40:47,741
There it is.

847
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:51,620
Yeah... Ah, well...

848
00:40:51,704 --> 00:40:53,956
I'm just not sure about that
right now.

849
00:40:54,039 --> 00:40:56,750
Yeah, Bill, let me ask
you a real quick question here.

850
00:40:56,834 --> 00:41:00,129
How much time would you say
you spend each week...

851
00:41:00,212 --> 00:41:02,214
dealing with
these T.P.S. reports?

852
00:41:07,428 --> 00:41:08,596
Yeah...

853
00:42:16,038 --> 00:42:17,248
Hey, Peter, man!

854
00:42:17,331 --> 00:42:20,876
Check out channel nine.
It's the breast exams. Whoo!

855
00:42:36,725 --> 00:42:37,977
Hi, Peter.

856
00:42:38,060 --> 00:42:39,812
Oh, hi, Dom.

857
00:43:28,235 --> 00:43:30,112
So... Peter...

858
00:43:30,196 --> 00:43:31,280
what's happening?

859
00:43:31,363 --> 00:43:34,658
Ahh, now,
are you going to go ahead...

860
00:43:34,742 --> 00:43:38,579
and have those T.P.S. reports
for us this afternoon?

861
00:43:38,662 --> 00:43:40,039
No.

862
00:43:41,290 --> 00:43:43,792
Ahh... yeah...

863
00:43:43,876 --> 00:43:45,753
So I guess we should
probably go ahead...

864
00:43:45,836 --> 00:43:48,714
and have a little talk, hmm?

865
00:43:48,797 --> 00:43:51,800
Not right now, Lumbergh,
I'm... I'm kinda busy.

866
00:43:51,884 --> 00:43:55,721
In fact, I'm going to have
to ask you to go ahead.

867
00:43:56,597 --> 00:43:57,806
Just come back another time.

868
00:43:57,890 --> 00:44:00,309
I got a meeting with the Bobs
in a couple of minutes.

869
00:44:01,393 --> 00:44:03,521
Uh, I wasn't aware
of a meeting with them.

870
00:44:03,604 --> 00:44:05,814
Yeah, they called me at home.

871
00:44:10,611 --> 00:44:11,695
That sounds good, Peter.

872
00:44:11,779 --> 00:44:13,948
And, uh, we'll go ahead and...

873
00:44:14,031 --> 00:44:16,325
get this all fixed up for you.

874
00:44:16,408 --> 00:44:17,451
Great.

875
00:44:22,456 --> 00:44:25,167
Hi, Milton. What's happening?

876
00:44:26,460 --> 00:44:28,796
I... I didn't receive
my paycheque this week.

877
00:44:28,879 --> 00:44:33,467
Uh, you're going to have to talk
to payroll about that.

878
00:44:33,551 --> 00:44:34,802
I did and they said...

879
00:44:34,885 --> 00:44:36,679
Milt, we're gonna go ahead...

880
00:44:36,762 --> 00:44:40,474
and move you downstairs
into storage "B."

881
00:44:40,558 --> 00:44:42,268
No, I... I...

882
00:44:42,351 --> 00:44:46,313
New people are coming,
and we need the space.

883
00:44:46,397 --> 00:44:47,648
But there's no space...

884
00:44:47,731 --> 00:44:51,318
So if you could go ahead
and pack your stuff...

885
00:44:51,402 --> 00:44:53,070
and move it down there...

886
00:44:53,154 --> 00:44:55,156
that would be terrific.

887
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:56,532
OK?

888
00:44:56,615 --> 00:44:58,617
Uh, excuse me...

889
00:44:58,701 --> 00:45:04,290
I believe you have my stapler,
please. Hmm.

890
00:45:04,415 --> 00:45:06,667
You've been missing
a lot of work lately.

891
00:45:06,750 --> 00:45:08,919
I wouldn't say
I've been missing it, Bob.

892
00:45:10,337 --> 00:45:11,589
Good one.

893
00:45:11,672 --> 00:45:13,465
Oh, that's terrific, Peter.

894
00:45:13,549 --> 00:45:16,677
I'm sure you've... you've heard
some of the rumors...

895
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:18,470
circulating
around the hallways...

896
00:45:18,554 --> 00:45:21,307
about how we're going to do
a little "housecleaning..."

897
00:45:21,390 --> 00:45:22,641
with some software people.

898
00:45:22,725 --> 00:45:25,895
Well, Bob, I have heard that.
You gotta do what you gotta do.

899
00:45:25,978 --> 00:45:27,980
We'll be getting rid
of these people.

900
00:45:28,063 --> 00:45:32,860
First, Mr. Samir Naga...

901
00:45:32,943 --> 00:45:34,111
Naga...

902
00:45:34,195 --> 00:45:37,406
Naga-gonna work here
anymore, anyway.

903
00:45:37,490 --> 00:45:40,868
And Mr. Mike Bolton.
Nobody's gonna miss him.

904
00:45:40,951 --> 00:45:42,620
You're gonna layoff
Samir and Michael?

905
00:45:42,703 --> 00:45:45,206
Yeah. We're gonna bring
in some entry-level graduates.

906
00:45:45,289 --> 00:45:47,458
Farm some work out to Singapore,
that's the usual deal.

907
00:45:47,541 --> 00:45:48,792
It's standard
operating procedure.

908
00:45:48,876 --> 00:45:51,045
Do they know this yet?

909
00:45:51,128 --> 00:45:53,297
No. No, of course not.

910
00:45:53,380 --> 00:45:56,175
We find it's always better
to fire people on a Friday.

911
00:45:56,258 --> 00:45:58,469
Studies have
statistically shown...

912
00:45:58,552 --> 00:46:00,221
there's less chance
of an incident...

913
00:46:00,304 --> 00:46:01,972
if you do it at the end
of the week.

914
00:46:02,056 --> 00:46:05,142
Peter, what we'd like to do
is put you into position...

915
00:46:05,226 --> 00:46:08,896
to have as many
as four people...

916
00:46:08,979 --> 00:46:10,272
working right underneath you.

917
00:46:10,356 --> 00:46:12,483
This is a big promotion, Pete.

918
00:46:12,566 --> 00:46:15,194
So you're going
to fire Michael and Samir...

919
00:46:15,277 --> 00:46:17,112
and give me more money?

920
00:46:19,073 --> 00:46:20,783
Uh-huh.

921
00:46:20,866 --> 00:46:23,035
Wow!

922
00:46:23,118 --> 00:46:26,080
Hmm. Yeah.

923
00:46:26,163 --> 00:46:28,958
That's it.
That's exactly what I need.

924
00:46:29,041 --> 00:46:30,292
Give it to me.

925
00:46:30,376 --> 00:46:31,836
Come on, you little fucker,
let's go.

926
00:46:31,919 --> 00:46:33,462
That's what I need.
Let's do that.

927
00:46:33,546 --> 00:46:36,090
Let's do exactly that,
you little fuck...

928
00:46:36,173 --> 00:46:37,967
- Michael.
- Hey.

929
00:46:38,050 --> 00:46:39,426
Listen to me.

930
00:46:41,971 --> 00:46:43,556
What are you doing tonight?

931
00:46:45,099 --> 00:46:47,977
Michael, there comes
a point in a man's life...

932
00:46:48,060 --> 00:46:50,563
and maybe that time for you
is now...

933
00:46:51,689 --> 00:46:55,317
when it doesn't hurt to start
thinking about the future.

934
00:46:55,401 --> 00:46:57,486
Uh, no offence there, Peter...

935
00:46:57,570 --> 00:46:59,321
but speak for yourself there,
sport.

936
00:46:59,405 --> 00:47:02,575
I'm not the one who's been
flakin' out at work.

937
00:47:02,658 --> 00:47:06,662
I know you had this religious
experience or whatever...

938
00:47:06,745 --> 00:47:09,498
but get your shit together,
or you're gonna get canned.

939
00:47:10,499 --> 00:47:13,002
Yeah, and, uh, and I... Listen...

940
00:47:14,044 --> 00:47:15,796
That virus
you're always talking about...

941
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,007
the one that could
rip off the company...

942
00:47:18,090 --> 00:47:19,508
for a bunch of money.

943
00:47:19,592 --> 00:47:20,843
Yeah, what about it?

944
00:47:20,926 --> 00:47:22,595
Well, how does it work?

945
00:47:23,387 --> 00:47:24,763
It's pretty brilliant.

946
00:47:24,847 --> 00:47:26,974
What it does is every time
there's a bank transaction...

947
00:47:27,057 --> 00:47:29,476
where interest is computed...
there are thousands a day...

948
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:31,520
the computer ends up with
these fractions of a cent...

949
00:47:31,604 --> 00:47:33,105
which it usually rounds off.

950
00:47:33,189 --> 00:47:35,524
What this does is it takes
those little remainders...

951
00:47:35,608 --> 00:47:37,526
and puts it into an account.

952
00:47:37,610 --> 00:47:40,321
- This sounds familiar.
- They did it in "Superman III."

953
00:47:40,404 --> 00:47:41,530
Right, uh...

954
00:47:41,614 --> 00:47:43,324
An underrated movie, actually.

955
00:47:43,407 --> 00:47:46,702
There were hackers that did it
in the seventies as well.

956
00:47:46,785 --> 00:47:49,788
- So they check for this now.
- No, here's the thing.

957
00:47:49,872 --> 00:47:53,125
Initech's so backed up with all
the software we're updating...

958
00:47:53,209 --> 00:47:54,335
they'd never notice.

959
00:47:54,418 --> 00:47:56,420
You're right.

960
00:47:56,504 --> 00:47:58,839
Even if they wanted to, they
couldn't check all that code.

961
00:47:58,923 --> 00:48:01,926
Thumbs up their asses.
Thumbs up their asses.

962
00:48:02,009 --> 00:48:05,930
So, Michael, what's
to stop you from doing this?

963
00:48:06,013 --> 00:48:08,557
It's not worth the risk.
I got a good job.

964
00:48:09,767 --> 00:48:12,228
What if you didn't have
a good job?

965
00:48:13,687 --> 00:48:14,897
Cock gobblers!

966
00:48:18,567 --> 00:48:22,321
Samir and I are
the best programmers they got.

967
00:48:22,404 --> 00:48:24,573
You haven't been showin' up,
and you get to keep your job.

968
00:48:24,657 --> 00:48:26,450
Actually, I'm being promoted.

969
00:48:26,534 --> 00:48:29,161
- What?!
- I know, Michael.

970
00:48:29,245 --> 00:48:31,747
It's completely unfair.

971
00:48:31,831 --> 00:48:34,291
And I realized something today.

972
00:48:34,375 --> 00:48:37,294
It's not just about me
and my dream of doing nothing.

973
00:48:37,378 --> 00:48:39,380
It's about all of us together.

974
00:48:41,048 --> 00:48:44,385
I don't know what happened to me
at that hypnotherapist.

975
00:48:44,468 --> 00:48:46,971
Maybe it was just shock,
and it's wearing off now...

976
00:48:47,054 --> 00:48:49,723
but when I saw that fat man
keel over and die...

977
00:48:49,807 --> 00:48:52,768
Michael, we don't have
a lot of time on this earth.

978
00:48:52,852 --> 00:48:55,771
We weren't meant to spend it
this way.

979
00:48:55,855 --> 00:48:59,150
Human beings were not meant
to sit in little cubicles...

980
00:48:59,233 --> 00:49:01,152
staring at computer screens
all day...

981
00:49:01,235 --> 00:49:02,319
filling out useless forms...

982
00:49:02,403 --> 00:49:04,029
and listening
to eight different bosses...

983
00:49:04,113 --> 00:49:06,532
drone on
about mission statements.

984
00:49:06,615 --> 00:49:09,493
I told those fudgepackers
I liked Michael Bolton's music.

985
00:49:09,577 --> 00:49:13,247
Ohh. That is not right, Michael.

986
00:49:13,330 --> 00:49:16,167
For five years now,
you've worked your ass off...

987
00:49:16,250 --> 00:49:20,296
hoping for a promotion,
profit sharing, or something.

988
00:49:20,379 --> 00:49:21,755
Five years...

989
00:49:21,839 --> 00:49:24,633
of your mid-twenties now gone.

990
00:49:24,717 --> 00:49:25,968
And you're gonna
go in tomorrow...

991
00:49:26,051 --> 00:49:28,637
they're gonna throw you
out on the street.

992
00:49:28,721 --> 00:49:30,472
You know why?

993
00:49:30,556 --> 00:49:34,977
So Bill Lumbergh's stock
will go up a quarter of a point.

994
00:49:35,060 --> 00:49:36,645
Ugh.

995
00:49:36,729 --> 00:49:38,814
Michael, let's make
that stock go down...

996
00:49:38,898 --> 00:49:40,858
and let's take enough money
out of that place...

997
00:49:40,941 --> 00:49:44,236
so that we never have
to sit in a cubicle ever again.

998
00:49:45,696 --> 00:49:47,615
Your software works, right?

999
00:49:47,698 --> 00:49:49,366
Of course it works.
That's not the point.

1000
00:49:50,826 --> 00:49:52,912
Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't
know how to install it.

1001
00:49:52,995 --> 00:49:55,498
I don't know the credit union's
software well enough. OK?

1002
00:49:55,581 --> 00:49:58,542
Yeah. But Samir does.

1003
00:49:59,376 --> 00:50:00,836
But that's not much money.

1004
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:02,129
That's the beauty of it.

1005
00:50:02,213 --> 00:50:06,258
Each withdrawal, it's a fraction
of a cent, too small to notice.

1006
00:50:06,342 --> 00:50:08,511
But you take a few thousand
withdrawals a day...

1007
00:50:08,594 --> 00:50:10,012
you space it out
over a couple of years...

1008
00:50:10,095 --> 00:50:12,348
that's a few
hundred thousand dollars.

1009
00:50:12,431 --> 00:50:13,641
It's like "Superman III."

1010
00:50:13,724 --> 00:50:15,768
"Superman III"?

1011
00:50:15,851 --> 00:50:19,522
I have to leave now.
I have to get my résumé ready.

1012
00:50:19,605 --> 00:50:23,776
For another job where
they can fire you for no reason?

1013
00:50:23,859 --> 00:50:26,570
That's right. If I'm lucky.

1014
00:50:26,654 --> 00:50:30,783
I'm tired of being
pushed around. Aren't you?

1015
00:50:30,866 --> 00:50:33,619
Yes, but I'm not going to do
anything illegal.

1016
00:50:33,702 --> 00:50:36,121
Illegal?
Samir, this is America.

1017
00:50:36,205 --> 00:50:38,249
Come on. Sit down.

1018
00:50:39,208 --> 00:50:41,418
Come on. This isn't Riyadh.

1019
00:50:41,502 --> 00:50:44,421
They're not going
to saw your hands off here.

1020
00:50:44,505 --> 00:50:46,882
The worst they'd do is put you
for a couple of months...

1021
00:50:46,966 --> 00:50:50,261
into a white-collar,
minimum-security resort.

1022
00:50:50,344 --> 00:50:54,014
Shit, we should be so lucky.
They have conjugal visits there.

1023
00:50:54,098 --> 00:50:55,724
- Really?
- Yes.

1024
00:50:55,808 --> 00:50:57,101
Shit!

1025
00:50:57,184 --> 00:50:59,937
I'm a free man. I haven't had
a conjugal visit in six months.

1026
00:51:00,020 --> 00:51:01,772
So what do you think?

1027
00:51:01,856 --> 00:51:04,358
This thing is actually
pretty fail-safe, Samir.

1028
00:51:04,441 --> 00:51:05,651
Samir?

1029
00:51:07,361 --> 00:51:10,114
You came here looking
for a land of opportunity.

1030
00:51:10,197 --> 00:51:13,325
And this is the knock
of that opportunity.

1031
00:51:13,409 --> 00:51:15,786
Tomorrow is your last day
at Initech.

1032
00:51:15,870 --> 00:51:17,371
You have two options...

1033
00:51:17,454 --> 00:51:19,832
unemployment
or early retirement.

1034
00:51:19,915 --> 00:51:21,500
What's it gonna be?

1035
00:51:22,293 --> 00:51:23,878
- I have a question.
- Yes?

1036
00:51:23,961 --> 00:51:27,673
In this conjugal visits,
you can have sex with women?

1037
00:51:27,756 --> 00:51:30,467
Yep, you sure can.

1038
00:51:33,971 --> 00:51:35,139
OK, I'll do it.

1039
00:51:35,222 --> 00:51:38,100
That's what I'm talkin'
about when I talk about America!

1040
00:51:38,184 --> 00:51:39,560
Can we discuss the plan?

1041
00:51:39,643 --> 00:51:41,312
OK, yeah, good, right.

1042
00:51:41,395 --> 00:51:42,855
It works like a computer virus.

1043
00:51:42,938 --> 00:51:45,524
All we do is load it into
the credit union's mainframe.

1044
00:51:45,608 --> 00:51:46,775
It'll do the rest.

1045
00:51:46,859 --> 00:51:49,195
Get me that disk,
and I'll take it from there.

1046
00:51:49,278 --> 00:51:52,114
Before we go any further,
all right?

1047
00:51:52,198 --> 00:51:54,700
We have to swear to God,
Allah...

1048
00:51:54,783 --> 00:51:57,286
that nobody knows about this
but us, all right?

1049
00:51:57,369 --> 00:52:00,456
No family members,
no girlfriends. Nobody.

1050
00:52:00,539 --> 00:52:01,749
- Of course.
- Agreed.

1051
00:52:01,832 --> 00:52:04,001
Don't worry, man!
I won't tell anyone, either.

1052
00:52:04,084 --> 00:52:06,295
- What the fuck is that?
- Don't worry. He's cool.

1053
00:52:06,378 --> 00:52:09,757
All right. Here's how
I see it all going down.

1054
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:12,635
Peter, congratulations.
This is one heck of a promotion.

1055
00:52:12,718 --> 00:52:13,928
Thank you, Bob.

1056
00:52:14,011 --> 00:52:16,305
We'll get some people
under you right away.

1057
00:53:42,016 --> 00:53:43,267
That was easy.

1058
00:53:43,350 --> 00:53:45,352
Yeah, I guess it was.

1059
00:53:45,436 --> 00:53:47,021
What'd you do with the...

1060
00:53:47,188 --> 00:53:48,981
Hey, man.

1061
00:53:49,064 --> 00:53:50,733
Oh, hey, Drew.

1062
00:53:50,816 --> 00:53:52,443
You guys hear
about Tom Smykowski?

1063
00:53:52,526 --> 00:53:53,611
That he got laid off?

1064
00:53:53,694 --> 00:53:55,196
No, man, check it out.

1065
00:53:55,279 --> 00:53:57,823
Last week, after he found out
he was getting laid off...

1066
00:53:57,907 --> 00:54:01,285
he tries to kill himself by
running the car in the garage.

1067
00:54:01,368 --> 00:54:02,495
Is he dead?

1068
00:54:02,578 --> 00:54:04,121
No, man, check it out.

1069
00:54:04,205 --> 00:54:07,333
His wife comes home early
and catches him.

1070
00:54:07,416 --> 00:54:09,293
He tries to play it off
like nothing happened.

1071
00:54:09,376 --> 00:54:12,296
I was having some trouble
with the shifter here.

1072
00:54:12,379 --> 00:54:13,672
It's jammed.

1073
00:54:13,756 --> 00:54:16,217
I... I couldn't get it
into drive.

1074
00:54:16,300 --> 00:54:18,969
- I... I... I mean, reverse.
- You OK, Tom?

1075
00:54:19,053 --> 00:54:21,347
Then as he's lookin' at her...

1076
00:54:21,430 --> 00:54:23,432
he decides he wants to live.

1077
00:54:23,516 --> 00:54:24,975
Yeah, I think I'm OK.

1078
00:54:25,059 --> 00:54:26,435
Right.

1079
00:54:26,519 --> 00:54:28,687
Seems to be working now.

1080
00:54:30,481 --> 00:54:32,191
See you later, honey.

1081
00:54:32,274 --> 00:54:33,526
Love ya.

1082
00:54:35,110 --> 00:54:38,989
But as soon as he backs
out of his driveway... Bam!

1083
00:54:39,073 --> 00:54:41,700
He gets slammed big-time
by a drunk driver.

1084
00:54:41,784 --> 00:54:43,744
- Is he OK?
- Sort of.

1085
00:54:43,828 --> 00:54:46,956
Broke both his wrists, legs,
a couple of ribs, his back...

1086
00:54:47,039 --> 00:54:49,208
but he's getting
a huge settlement out of this.

1087
00:54:49,291 --> 00:54:50,459
Like seven figures.

1088
00:54:50,543 --> 00:54:52,044
He's getting out
of the hospital tomorrow.

1089
00:54:52,127 --> 00:54:54,046
He's throwing a big party
this weekend to celebrate.

1090
00:54:54,129 --> 00:54:56,131
We're all invited.

1091
00:54:56,215 --> 00:54:58,843
I'm thinking I might take
that new chick from logistics.

1092
00:54:58,926 --> 00:55:01,470
Things go well, I might be
showing her my "Oh" face.

1093
00:55:01,554 --> 00:55:03,931
Oh, oh, oh...

1094
00:55:04,014 --> 00:55:07,059
You know what I'm talking about.
Oh.

1095
00:55:07,142 --> 00:55:09,270
Yeah. Right.

1096
00:55:09,353 --> 00:55:10,688
See you guys there.

1097
00:55:12,022 --> 00:55:15,234
Wow, our last day at Initech.

1098
00:55:16,527 --> 00:55:18,529
I can't believe
they had security escort us out.

1099
00:55:18,612 --> 00:55:20,865
It's not like
we're going to steal something.

1100
00:55:23,117 --> 00:55:24,243
I stole something.

1101
00:55:24,326 --> 00:55:26,328
Oh, yeah. I guess we all did.

1102
00:55:26,412 --> 00:55:29,081
No, I stole something else.

1103
00:55:30,124 --> 00:55:31,584
What did you steal?

1104
00:55:33,169 --> 00:55:35,462
Call it a going-away present.

1105
00:57:12,685 --> 00:57:14,145
Who's got my keys?

1106
00:57:14,228 --> 00:57:15,604
I'm driving.

1107
00:57:15,688 --> 00:57:17,356
Everything is gonna be OK.

1108
00:57:17,439 --> 00:57:19,275
All right? OK?

1109
00:57:19,358 --> 00:57:20,943
It's fun, and it's exciting.

1110
00:57:21,026 --> 00:57:23,571
I gotta... I gotta go. All right?

1111
00:57:23,654 --> 00:57:24,822
Joanna's coming over.

1112
00:57:24,905 --> 00:57:28,075
Don't worry.
You're worrying. All right?

1113
00:57:28,159 --> 00:57:30,286
Monday morning, we're gonna
check the account balance.

1114
00:57:30,369 --> 00:57:31,453
Everything will be OK.

1115
00:57:31,537 --> 00:57:33,664
Don't miss Tom's barbecue.
I'll see you there.

1116
00:57:33,747 --> 00:57:35,457
All right? Good night!

1117
00:57:35,541 --> 00:57:38,210
Back up in your ass
with the resurrection.

1118
00:57:40,796 --> 00:57:42,923
What were you guys
celebrating last night?

1119
00:57:43,007 --> 00:57:47,720
Oh, um... I'm not really
at liberty to talk about it.

1120
00:57:50,931 --> 00:57:52,558
I really can't.

1121
00:57:55,269 --> 00:57:58,314
So, when the subroutine
compounds the interest...

1122
00:57:58,397 --> 00:58:00,608
it uses all these
extra decimal places...

1123
00:58:00,691 --> 00:58:02,568
that just get rounded off.

1124
00:58:02,651 --> 00:58:04,195
So we simplified
the whole thing...

1125
00:58:04,278 --> 00:58:07,531
and we round 'em all down
and drop the remainder...

1126
00:58:07,615 --> 00:58:09,617
into an account that we opened.

1127
00:58:10,743 --> 00:58:12,161
So you're stealing?

1128
00:58:13,204 --> 00:58:15,039
Uh, no.
No, you don't understand.

1129
00:58:15,122 --> 00:58:18,876
It's, uh, very complicated.
It's, uh...

1130
00:58:18,959 --> 00:58:21,962
It's aggregate, so I'm talking
about fractions of a penny...

1131
00:58:22,046 --> 00:58:25,341
and, uh, over time,
they add up to a lot.

1132
00:58:25,424 --> 00:58:29,136
Oh, OK. So you're gonna make
a lot of money, right?

1133
00:58:29,220 --> 00:58:30,513
- Yeah.
- Right.

1134
00:58:30,596 --> 00:58:31,680
It's not yours?

1135
00:58:31,764 --> 00:58:33,933
Uh... well, it becomes ours.

1136
00:58:34,016 --> 00:58:35,851
How is that not stealing?

1137
00:58:38,521 --> 00:58:41,732
I don't think
I'm explaining this very well.

1138
00:58:41,816 --> 00:58:44,902
Um, the 7-Eleven, right?

1139
00:58:44,985 --> 00:58:47,238
You'd take a penny
from the tray.

1140
00:58:47,321 --> 00:58:48,572
From the crippled children?

1141
00:58:48,656 --> 00:58:49,782
No, that's the jar.

1142
00:58:49,865 --> 00:58:53,369
I'm talking about the tray...
the pennies for everybody.

1143
00:58:53,452 --> 00:58:54,787
Oh, for everybody. OK.

1144
00:58:54,870 --> 00:58:56,956
Yeah.
Well, those are whole pennies.

1145
00:58:57,039 --> 00:59:00,960
I'm just talking about
fractions of a penny, OK?

1146
00:59:01,043 --> 00:59:02,795
But we do it
from a much bigger tray...

1147
00:59:02,878 --> 00:59:04,964
and we do it
a couple of million times.

1148
00:59:05,047 --> 00:59:06,465
So what's wrong with that?

1149
00:59:06,549 --> 00:59:08,175
I don't know.
It just seems wrong.

1150
00:59:08,259 --> 00:59:09,426
It's not wrong.

1151
00:59:09,510 --> 00:59:10,678
Initech is wrong.

1152
00:59:10,761 --> 00:59:13,264
Initech is an evil corporation,
all right?

1153
00:59:13,347 --> 00:59:15,432
Chotchkie's is wrong.

1154
00:59:15,516 --> 00:59:17,434
Doesn't it bother you that you
have to get up in the morning...

1155
00:59:17,518 --> 00:59:19,520
and you have to put on
a bunch of pieces of flair?

1156
00:59:19,603 --> 00:59:21,981
Yeah, but I'm not about
to go in and start...

1157
00:59:22,064 --> 00:59:23,732
taking money from the register.

1158
00:59:23,816 --> 00:59:25,025
Well, maybe you should.

1159
00:59:26,819 --> 00:59:30,114
The Nazis had pieces of flair
that they made the Jews wear.

1160
00:59:30,197 --> 00:59:31,448
What?

1161
00:59:33,159 --> 00:59:34,785
Look, we don't... I'm...

1162
00:59:34,869 --> 00:59:36,495
We don't have
to talk about this now.

1163
00:59:36,579 --> 00:59:40,082
Let's just go to the barbecue,
all right?

1164
00:59:43,169 --> 00:59:45,838
Michael, Samir,
how you doin'?

1165
00:59:45,921 --> 00:59:47,047
- Hey, Tom.
- Hello, Tom.

1166
00:59:47,131 --> 00:59:50,176
I'd like you to meet
my lawyer Rob Newhouse.

1167
00:59:50,259 --> 00:59:52,970
Rob, Michael. Samir.

1168
00:59:53,053 --> 00:59:56,515
Peter! How are you?
I'm glad you could make it.

1169
00:59:56,599 --> 00:59:59,602
Tom, hi. This is somebody
I'd like you to meet.

1170
00:59:59,685 --> 01:00:01,520
- This is, uh, Joanna.
- Hi.

1171
01:00:01,604 --> 01:00:04,023
Hi. Forgive me
for not getting up.

1172
01:00:10,696 --> 01:00:13,532
Ooh, ooh.

1173
01:00:13,616 --> 01:00:16,035
Peter, come here a minute.
I wanna show you something.

1174
01:00:17,369 --> 01:00:19,997
Well... what do you think?
It's a prototype.

1175
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:21,832
Huh... that's...

1176
01:00:21,916 --> 01:00:24,502
that's exactly as you
described it.

1177
01:00:26,504 --> 01:00:29,006
Uh, listen, I heard about
your... your settlement.

1178
01:00:29,089 --> 01:00:30,257
Congratulations.

1179
01:00:30,341 --> 01:00:31,467
Well, thanks, Peter.

1180
01:00:31,550 --> 01:00:35,429
You know, I'm glad you're here,
because I wanted to talk to you.

1181
01:00:35,513 --> 01:00:38,849
I know how you get depressed
about your job and all, and...

1182
01:00:38,933 --> 01:00:41,602
I just wanted you to know
that I know how you feel.

1183
01:00:41,685 --> 01:00:43,354
I used to be the same way.

1184
01:00:43,437 --> 01:00:45,439
- Really?
- Sure.

1185
01:00:45,523 --> 01:00:47,149
Maybe I didn't whine as much.

1186
01:00:47,233 --> 01:00:50,069
But I bet I hated my job
even more than you...

1187
01:00:50,152 --> 01:00:52,446
and I'd been doing it
for over thirty years.

1188
01:00:52,530 --> 01:00:53,823
Wow.

1189
01:00:53,906 --> 01:00:57,451
Just remember, if you
hang in there long enough...

1190
01:00:57,535 --> 01:01:00,788
good things can happen
in this world.

1191
01:01:00,871 --> 01:01:02,957
I mean, look at me.

1192
01:01:03,958 --> 01:01:05,376
Thanks, Tom.

1193
01:01:06,418 --> 01:01:08,295
Ah, sure.

1194
01:01:13,676 --> 01:01:16,887
Conjugal visits?
Not that I know of.

1195
01:01:16,971 --> 01:01:19,598
Minimum-security prison
is no picnic.

1196
01:01:19,682 --> 01:01:21,809
I have a client in there
right now.

1197
01:01:21,892 --> 01:01:23,519
He says the trick is...

1198
01:01:23,602 --> 01:01:25,437
kick someone's ass
the first day...

1199
01:01:25,521 --> 01:01:26,981
or become someone's bitch.

1200
01:01:27,064 --> 01:01:29,650
Then everything
will be all right.

1201
01:01:29,733 --> 01:01:31,360
Why do you ask, anyway?

1202
01:01:31,443 --> 01:01:33,696
Oh, no, we just...

1203
01:01:33,779 --> 01:01:34,989
It's a...

1204
01:01:41,245 --> 01:01:43,289
- Hey, Peter.
- Drew.

1205
01:01:43,372 --> 01:01:45,541
That's something
about old Smykowski, huh?

1206
01:01:45,624 --> 01:01:47,418
- Yeah.
- Lucky bastard.

1207
01:01:48,586 --> 01:01:51,755
Hey, isn't that the girl
that works over at Chotchkie's?

1208
01:01:51,839 --> 01:01:53,591
Yep.

1209
01:01:53,674 --> 01:01:55,259
Who's she here with?

1210
01:01:55,342 --> 01:01:56,635
She's with me.

1211
01:01:58,470 --> 01:02:00,598
- Really?
- Yep.

1212
01:02:00,681 --> 01:02:04,143
All right, Peter.
Ooh, ooh, right on.

1213
01:02:05,186 --> 01:02:07,313
Make sure you wear a rubber,
dude.

1214
01:02:09,607 --> 01:02:10,733
Why's that, Drew?

1215
01:02:10,816 --> 01:02:12,443
Are you kidding me?

1216
01:02:12,526 --> 01:02:14,612
She gets around. All right?

1217
01:02:16,113 --> 01:02:18,115
She does, does she?

1218
01:02:18,199 --> 01:02:20,326
Oh, yeah, like a record.

1219
01:02:23,204 --> 01:02:24,622
Like with who?

1220
01:02:24,705 --> 01:02:27,625
Oh, let's see, uh...

1221
01:02:27,708 --> 01:02:29,877
Hell, Lumbergh fucked her.

1222
01:02:31,003 --> 01:02:32,713
Uh, let me see, who else?

1223
01:02:34,798 --> 01:02:35,966
Lumbergh?

1224
01:02:38,344 --> 01:02:40,679
What if you get caught?

1225
01:02:40,763 --> 01:02:43,974
Oh, I just don't know
if this was such a good idea.

1226
01:02:44,058 --> 01:02:47,102
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea
for you to sleep with Lumbergh.

1227
01:02:47,186 --> 01:02:48,521
What?

1228
01:02:48,604 --> 01:02:49,814
What are you...

1229
01:02:50,981 --> 01:02:52,942
Oh, right, Lumbergh.

1230
01:02:53,025 --> 01:02:54,485
Aah!

1231
01:02:54,568 --> 01:02:57,696
Oh... God... Lumbergh!

1232
01:02:57,780 --> 01:02:59,782
Peter, what is wrong with you?

1233
01:02:59,865 --> 01:03:01,575
That was, like, two years ago.

1234
01:03:01,659 --> 01:03:03,035
What? Did you know him?

1235
01:03:03,118 --> 01:03:04,703
Yeah, I know him. I know him.

1236
01:03:04,787 --> 01:03:06,080
He's my boss.

1237
01:03:06,163 --> 01:03:09,583
He's my unholy,
disgusting pig of a boss.

1238
01:03:09,667 --> 01:03:11,710
Oh, he's not that disgusting.

1239
01:03:11,794 --> 01:03:15,005
He represents all
that is soulless and wrong...

1240
01:03:15,089 --> 01:03:16,799
and you slept with him.

1241
01:03:16,882 --> 01:03:20,261
Hey, that is none
of your business, OK?

1242
01:03:20,344 --> 01:03:23,180
I didn't ask you who you slept
with before we were together.

1243
01:03:23,264 --> 01:03:24,431
I don't care.

1244
01:03:24,515 --> 01:03:26,600
I didn't think you
slept with guys like Lumbergh!

1245
01:03:26,684 --> 01:03:28,853
Listen to you.

1246
01:03:28,936 --> 01:03:30,396
Who do you think you are?

1247
01:03:30,479 --> 01:03:32,982
How dare you judge me?

1248
01:03:33,065 --> 01:03:35,860
I mean, what are you?
You think you're an angel?

1249
01:03:35,943 --> 01:03:38,654
No, you're just
this penny-stealing...

1250
01:03:38,737 --> 01:03:41,407
wannabe criminal man.

1251
01:03:41,490 --> 01:03:43,159
Yeah, well, that may be.

1252
01:03:43,242 --> 01:03:45,703
But at least I never
slept with Lumbergh.

1253
01:03:45,786 --> 01:03:47,079
OK, that's... I'm done.

1254
01:03:47,163 --> 01:03:50,416
I wanna get out of the car, OK?
Stop.

1255
01:03:50,499 --> 01:03:52,293
Call me when you grow up.

1256
01:03:52,376 --> 01:03:54,545
Wait. That's probably
never gonna happen.

1257
01:03:54,628 --> 01:03:55,754
So don't call me, OK?

1258
01:03:55,838 --> 01:03:58,048
Say hello to Lumbergh for me!

1259
01:04:04,972 --> 01:04:06,765
Hell, Lumbergh fucked her.

1260
01:04:06,849 --> 01:04:08,392
Lumbergh fucked her.

1261
01:04:08,476 --> 01:04:10,644
Lumbergh fucked her.

1262
01:04:10,728 --> 01:04:12,646
That is great.

1263
01:04:12,730 --> 01:04:15,774
I mean, she was seeing
the "Oh" face for sure.

1264
01:04:15,858 --> 01:04:19,612
Ohh, ohh, ohh.

1265
01:04:19,695 --> 01:04:21,280
Ooh.

1266
01:04:21,363 --> 01:04:23,991
If you could just move
a little bit to the left.

1267
01:04:24,074 --> 01:04:26,452
That's it. Great.

1268
01:04:26,535 --> 01:04:28,662
Peter, what's happening?

1269
01:04:28,746 --> 01:04:33,626
Um, could you give me
those T.P.S. reports ASAP, OK?

1270
01:04:33,709 --> 01:04:34,877
Oh!

1271
01:04:49,099 --> 01:04:50,684
- Joanna.
- Yeah.

1272
01:04:51,268 --> 01:04:53,062
We need to talk.

1273
01:04:53,145 --> 01:04:55,022
Do you know what this is about?

1274
01:04:58,943 --> 01:05:00,611
My, uh, flair?

1275
01:05:00,694 --> 01:05:02,780
Yeah.

1276
01:05:02,863 --> 01:05:06,659
Or your lack of flair,
because, uh...

1277
01:05:06,742 --> 01:05:09,119
I'm counting,
and I only see fifteen pieces.

1278
01:05:09,203 --> 01:05:11,497
Let me ask you a question,
Joanna.

1279
01:05:11,580 --> 01:05:15,709
What do you think of a person
who only does the bare minimum?

1280
01:05:17,253 --> 01:05:19,964
Huh, what do I think?
Um, you know what, Stan...

1281
01:05:21,215 --> 01:05:24,260
if you want me to wear
thirty-seven pieces of flair...

1282
01:05:24,343 --> 01:05:26,637
like your, uh, pretty boy
over there, Brian...

1283
01:05:26,720 --> 01:05:28,305
why don't you just
make the minimum...

1284
01:05:28,389 --> 01:05:30,349
thirty-seven pieces of flair?

1285
01:05:30,432 --> 01:05:33,018
Well, I thought
I remembered you saying...

1286
01:05:33,102 --> 01:05:35,312
that you wanted
to express yourself.

1287
01:05:35,396 --> 01:05:37,356
Yeah.
You know what? Yeah, I do.

1288
01:05:37,439 --> 01:05:39,900
I do want to express myself.

1289
01:05:39,984 --> 01:05:42,820
And I don't need thirty-seven
pieces of flair to do it.

1290
01:05:44,363 --> 01:05:46,949
All right? There's my flair. OK?

1291
01:05:47,032 --> 01:05:51,328
And this is me
expressing myself. OK?

1292
01:05:51,412 --> 01:05:53,122
There it is.

1293
01:05:53,205 --> 01:05:54,748
I hate this job.

1294
01:05:54,832 --> 01:05:57,501
I hate this goddamn job,
and I don't need it.

1295
01:06:13,309 --> 01:06:14,393
Oh, shit.

1296
01:06:14,477 --> 01:06:16,061
- Shit.
- Shit.

1297
01:06:16,145 --> 01:06:18,647
- Shit.
- Son of a bitch.

1298
01:06:18,731 --> 01:06:21,442
- Shit.
- This is a fuck.

1299
01:06:21,525 --> 01:06:22,610
I... I... Shit.

1300
01:06:22,693 --> 01:06:24,111
What happened?

1301
01:06:24,195 --> 01:06:26,363
You tell me, Michael!
It's your software!

1302
01:06:26,447 --> 01:06:27,990
Yes, it's your software.

1303
01:06:28,073 --> 01:06:30,242
Corporate accounting
is sure as hell gonna notice...

1304
01:06:30,326 --> 01:06:32,995
three hundred five thousand,
three hundred...

1305
01:06:33,078 --> 01:06:36,290
twenty-six thirteen, Michael!

1306
01:06:36,373 --> 01:06:37,708
Oh, shit.

1307
01:06:37,791 --> 01:06:39,793
They probably
won't know it's gone...

1308
01:06:39,877 --> 01:06:41,587
for another three or four days.

1309
01:06:41,670 --> 01:06:45,216
Michael! You said this thing
was gonna take two years.

1310
01:06:45,299 --> 01:06:47,760
What happened? You said
the thing was supposed to work!

1311
01:06:47,843 --> 01:06:49,094
Technically, it did work.

1312
01:06:49,178 --> 01:06:50,471
No, it didn't!

1313
01:06:50,554 --> 01:06:53,432
It did not work, Michael, OK?

1314
01:06:53,516 --> 01:06:55,100
OK.

1315
01:06:55,184 --> 01:06:58,312
I must have put a decimal point
in the wrong place or something.

1316
01:06:58,395 --> 01:07:00,940
I always do that. I always
mess up some mundane detail.

1317
01:07:01,023 --> 01:07:05,069
Oh! Well, this is not
a mundane detail, Michael!

1318
01:07:05,152 --> 01:07:06,654
Quit getting pissed at me.

1319
01:07:06,737 --> 01:07:08,656
This was all your idea, asshole.

1320
01:07:09,907 --> 01:07:11,867
All right. OK.

1321
01:07:11,951 --> 01:07:14,453
Let's try not to get
pissed off at each other.

1322
01:07:14,537 --> 01:07:17,039
Let's calm down, try to figure
this thing out together.

1323
01:07:17,122 --> 01:07:20,793
We gotta close that account
before it gets bigger.

1324
01:07:20,876 --> 01:07:25,047
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

1325
01:07:25,130 --> 01:07:30,094
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

1326
01:07:30,177 --> 01:07:35,766
<i>♪ Happy birthday, Mr. Lumbergh ♪</i>

1327
01:07:35,850 --> 01:07:39,979
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

1328
01:07:44,275 --> 01:07:45,609
Looks terrific.

1329
01:07:45,693 --> 01:07:46,819
Mmm.

1330
01:07:46,902 --> 01:07:49,613
Here, Peg, you wanna
get everybody started?

1331
01:07:52,867 --> 01:07:54,034
Mmm.

1332
01:07:54,118 --> 01:07:55,494
Oh, that is terrific.

1333
01:07:55,578 --> 01:07:56,871
Just terrific.

1334
01:07:56,954 --> 01:08:00,749
Thanks, everybody.
I really, really appreciate it.

1335
01:08:00,833 --> 01:08:02,126
It's very special.

1336
01:08:02,209 --> 01:08:04,420
Now, Milton, don't be greedy.

1337
01:08:04,503 --> 01:08:07,756
Let's pass it along and make
sure everyone gets a piece.

1338
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:10,926
But last time I didn't
receive a piece and I was told...

1339
01:08:11,010 --> 01:08:12,511
Just pass.

1340
01:08:12,595 --> 01:08:17,808
OK, here. But this...

1341
01:08:19,393 --> 01:08:22,897
The cake...
There's lots of cake?

1342
01:08:23,939 --> 01:08:26,942
The ratio of people to cake
is too big.

1343
01:08:44,210 --> 01:08:46,921
I could set
the building on fire.

1344
01:08:47,004 --> 01:08:51,091
Is there some way
to just give the money back?

1345
01:08:51,175 --> 01:08:53,969
Hand them a cheque for the exact
amount they're missing?

1346
01:08:54,053 --> 01:08:56,972
I... I think
they'd figure that out.

1347
01:08:57,056 --> 01:08:59,308
Well, we have to do something.

1348
01:08:59,391 --> 01:09:01,393
Maybe we could launder
the money.

1349
01:09:02,728 --> 01:09:04,688
That's a great idea.

1350
01:09:04,772 --> 01:09:05,815
OK, how do we do that?

1351
01:09:05,898 --> 01:09:07,608
I don't know.

1352
01:09:07,691 --> 01:09:09,360
I don't even know what it means.
I was hoping you knew.

1353
01:09:09,443 --> 01:09:11,153
I think coke dealers do it.

1354
01:09:11,237 --> 01:09:13,823
OK, all right.
Do we know any coke dealers?

1355
01:09:14,698 --> 01:09:16,200
My cousin's a cokehead.

1356
01:09:21,705 --> 01:09:23,249
Fuck.

1357
01:09:23,332 --> 01:09:24,583
We're in deep shit.

1358
01:09:24,667 --> 01:09:28,337
Yes, we are in very,
very deep shit.

1359
01:09:33,342 --> 01:09:35,261
- Milton.
- Yes.

1360
01:09:35,344 --> 01:09:36,512
What's happening?

1361
01:09:36,595 --> 01:09:39,098
Say, Milton,
you know what'd be great?

1362
01:09:39,181 --> 01:09:40,266
But... no.

1363
01:09:40,349 --> 01:09:42,101
Since you're down here...

1364
01:09:42,184 --> 01:09:45,396
it would be really great
if you could just sort of...

1365
01:09:45,479 --> 01:09:48,232
take care of the cockroach
problem we've had in here.

1366
01:09:48,315 --> 01:09:51,318
That's really not my job, and I
haven't received my paycheque...

1367
01:09:51,402 --> 01:09:53,195
For now,
why don't you go ahead...

1368
01:09:53,279 --> 01:09:56,615
and get yourself a flashlight
and a can of pesticide...

1369
01:09:56,699 --> 01:09:57,867
and crawl down...

1370
01:09:57,950 --> 01:10:00,369
Bill?
We need you upstairs right away.

1371
01:10:00,452 --> 01:10:02,288
We got a big problem... big.

1372
01:10:02,371 --> 01:10:05,291
Some major glitch in accounting,
a lot of money missing.

1373
01:10:10,504 --> 01:10:11,672
'Scuse me.

1374
01:10:13,507 --> 01:10:14,675
'Scuse me.

1375
01:10:17,344 --> 01:10:21,265
OK... but that's
the last straw.

1376
01:10:21,348 --> 01:10:23,767
Here we go, here we go.

1377
01:10:23,851 --> 01:10:28,105
Uh, launder.
"To clean," no. "To wash..."

1378
01:10:28,189 --> 01:10:31,400
"To conceal the source
of money...

1379
01:10:31,484 --> 01:10:34,737
"as by channeling it through
an intermediary."

1380
01:10:35,529 --> 01:10:36,906
"To conceal..."

1381
01:10:36,989 --> 01:10:39,450
That doesn't really
help us, Michael.

1382
01:10:39,533 --> 01:10:41,243
I can't believe
what a bunch of nerds we are.

1383
01:10:41,327 --> 01:10:43,454
We're looking up money
laundering in a dictionary.

1384
01:10:43,537 --> 01:10:48,042
Yeah, well, you guys
can both eat my ass, OK?

1385
01:10:48,125 --> 01:10:49,835
I can't believe Joanna
slept with Lumbergh.

1386
01:10:49,919 --> 01:10:51,086
That's what I can't believe.

1387
01:10:51,170 --> 01:10:54,131
- Yeah. You didn't know that?
- Yeah, you didn't know that?

1388
01:10:54,215 --> 01:10:56,258
A couple of years ago,
before he moved to Atlanta.

1389
01:10:58,719 --> 01:11:02,598
You mean Ron Lumbergh,
the Initrode guy? The young guy?

1390
01:11:02,681 --> 01:11:05,184
Yeah.
Who'd you think I meant? Bill?

1391
01:11:07,228 --> 01:11:10,064
Her fucking... Her children
would have hooves.

1392
01:11:11,941 --> 01:11:13,609
Ron's not related to Bill,
is he?

1393
01:11:15,069 --> 01:11:16,779
Who's that?

1394
01:11:17,780 --> 01:11:19,281
All right, nobody panic.

1395
01:11:19,365 --> 01:11:21,033
Probably just Lawrence.

1396
01:11:24,537 --> 01:11:26,288
Good evening, sir.
My name is Steve.

1397
01:11:26,372 --> 01:11:27,873
I come from a rough area.

1398
01:11:27,957 --> 01:11:29,542
I used to be addicted
to crack...

1399
01:11:29,625 --> 01:11:31,502
but now I'm off
and trying to stay clean.

1400
01:11:31,585 --> 01:11:34,004
That is why I'm selling
magazine subscriptions.

1401
01:11:34,088 --> 01:11:36,090
- No, no.
- Wait a minute.

1402
01:11:36,173 --> 01:11:38,133
You used to be
addicted to crack?

1403
01:11:39,385 --> 01:11:40,928
Yeah. Um...

1404
01:11:42,555 --> 01:11:44,682
Look, I'm very sorry.

1405
01:11:44,765 --> 01:11:47,268
I do not know anything
about any money laundering.

1406
01:11:47,351 --> 01:11:49,770
We're not asking you
about money laundering.

1407
01:11:49,854 --> 01:11:51,230
All we need is for you
to hook us...

1408
01:11:51,313 --> 01:11:53,107
If he doesn't
know anybody...

1409
01:11:53,190 --> 01:11:54,942
No. Wait a minute.

1410
01:11:55,025 --> 01:11:57,945
Look, you just give us
the name of one drug dealer.

1411
01:11:58,028 --> 01:12:00,447
I could talk to him.
I have good networking skill.

1412
01:12:00,531 --> 01:12:01,657
I lied.

1413
01:12:01,740 --> 01:12:04,785
All that stuff I said
about being a crackhead...

1414
01:12:04,869 --> 01:12:07,288
just helps me sell magazines.

1415
01:12:07,371 --> 01:12:09,874
I'm actually an unemployed
software engineer.

1416
01:12:13,669 --> 01:12:16,755
- You're a software engineer?
- Yep.

1417
01:12:16,839 --> 01:12:19,383
Things, they must be
very rough for you.

1418
01:12:19,466 --> 01:12:21,093
Actually, man...

1419
01:12:21,177 --> 01:12:23,179
I make more money selling
magazine subscriptions...

1420
01:12:23,262 --> 01:12:24,722
than I ever did at Initrode.

1421
01:12:24,805 --> 01:12:26,932
Heh. At Initrode?

1422
01:12:27,016 --> 01:12:28,976
Wait a minute,
you're not gonna tell anybody...

1423
01:12:29,059 --> 01:12:30,394
about all this stuff
we told you.

1424
01:12:30,478 --> 01:12:33,689
I mean, we know a lot of
the same people. That's...

1425
01:12:35,524 --> 01:12:38,194
Actually, um,
that all depends.

1426
01:12:43,073 --> 01:12:46,160
What am I gonna do with
forty subscriptions to "Vibe"?

1427
01:12:47,453 --> 01:12:48,537
We never should have done this.

1428
01:12:48,621 --> 01:12:50,456
What were we thinking?

1429
01:12:51,373 --> 01:12:52,458
You know what I can't
figure out?

1430
01:12:52,541 --> 01:12:55,711
How is it that all these stupid
Neanderthal Mafia guys...

1431
01:12:55,794 --> 01:12:57,171
can be so good at crime...

1432
01:12:57,254 --> 01:12:59,757
and smart guys like us
can suck so badly at it?

1433
01:12:59,840 --> 01:13:01,383
We're new to it, though.

1434
01:13:01,467 --> 01:13:03,969
If we had more experience...

1435
01:13:04,053 --> 01:13:07,431
No. You know what I think?
I think we're screwed.

1436
01:13:07,515 --> 01:13:08,974
I think
there's enough evidence...

1437
01:13:09,058 --> 01:13:11,101
all over that building
to link us to this.

1438
01:13:11,185 --> 01:13:13,270
Even if we could launder money,
I wouldn't want to.

1439
01:13:13,354 --> 01:13:14,939
What we've done is bad enough.

1440
01:13:15,022 --> 01:13:16,273
We get caught
laundering money...

1441
01:13:16,357 --> 01:13:18,317
we're not going
to white-collar resort prison.

1442
01:13:18,400 --> 01:13:21,320
No. We're going to federal
"pound me in the ass" prison.

1443
01:13:21,403 --> 01:13:23,447
I don't want to go
to any prison.

1444
01:13:23,531 --> 01:13:25,783
Why the hell did I do this?

1445
01:13:25,866 --> 01:13:28,536
I've never done anything wrong
in my whole life.

1446
01:13:28,619 --> 01:13:29,829
We weren't thinking clearly...

1447
01:13:29,912 --> 01:13:32,081
because you told us
we were losing our jobs.

1448
01:13:32,164 --> 01:13:34,458
Now look at us, we're worried
about going in a prison.

1449
01:13:34,542 --> 01:13:36,752
Don't worry about it.
I'll think of something.

1450
01:13:38,462 --> 01:13:40,506
I'm going home.

1451
01:13:40,589 --> 01:13:41,757
Me, too.

1452
01:13:43,425 --> 01:13:47,596
You are a very...
bad person, Peter.

1453
01:14:07,825 --> 01:14:09,201
Lawrence, you awake?

1454
01:14:09,285 --> 01:14:10,536
Yeah.

1455
01:14:12,288 --> 01:14:13,497
You wanna come over?

1456
01:14:13,581 --> 01:14:14,665
No, thanks, man.

1457
01:14:14,748 --> 01:14:16,959
I don't want you
fucking up my life, too.

1458
01:14:22,506 --> 01:14:25,384
In light of the senselessness
of these heinous crimes...

1459
01:14:25,467 --> 01:14:27,887
that you have committed
against Initech...

1460
01:14:27,970 --> 01:14:30,973
I hereby sentence you,
Michael Bolton...

1461
01:14:31,056 --> 01:14:35,895
and Samir Naan... Nanadajibad...

1462
01:14:35,978 --> 01:14:38,230
to a term of no less
than four years...

1463
01:14:38,314 --> 01:14:41,901
in a federal
"pound me in the ass" prison.

1464
01:14:45,738 --> 01:14:47,531
Peter Gibbons...

1465
01:14:47,615 --> 01:14:50,367
you've led a trite
and meaningless life...

1466
01:14:52,119 --> 01:14:55,039
and you're a very bad person.

1467
01:15:32,284 --> 01:15:33,452
Hey.

1468
01:15:34,870 --> 01:15:37,414
You're not working
at Chotchkie's anymore, huh?

1469
01:15:37,498 --> 01:15:39,667
No, no. I got fired.

1470
01:15:40,459 --> 01:15:42,920
- What happened?
- I flipped off my boss.

1471
01:15:43,003 --> 01:15:45,089
Some customers...

1472
01:15:45,172 --> 01:15:46,924
Actually, a line cook...

1473
01:15:47,007 --> 01:15:49,009
but he just happened
to be standing there, so...

1474
01:15:50,302 --> 01:15:52,388
I might be going away
for a while.

1475
01:15:52,471 --> 01:15:55,891
Uh... to jail.

1476
01:15:55,975 --> 01:15:57,893
You were right
about that computer scam.

1477
01:15:57,977 --> 01:15:59,311
That was a bad idea.

1478
01:15:59,395 --> 01:16:01,981
I'm gonna take the blame for it,
I decided.

1479
01:16:03,149 --> 01:16:05,401
I'm on my way now
to return the money...

1480
01:16:05,484 --> 01:16:07,862
and leave the confession
under Lumbergh's door.

1481
01:16:10,239 --> 01:16:11,490
Joanna, I want to apologize.

1482
01:16:11,574 --> 01:16:14,076
I had no right to get pissed off
at you about Lumbergh.

1483
01:16:14,160 --> 01:16:15,744
Lumbergh is not my problem.

1484
01:16:15,828 --> 01:16:17,872
It wasn't even
the right Lumbergh.

1485
01:16:17,955 --> 01:16:21,834
I don't know why I can't just...
go to work and be happy...

1486
01:16:21,917 --> 01:16:24,336
like I'm supposed to,
like everybody else.

1487
01:16:24,420 --> 01:16:26,589
Peter, most people
don't like their jobs.

1488
01:16:26,672 --> 01:16:30,634
But you go out there and find
something that makes you happy.

1489
01:16:30,718 --> 01:16:32,595
Yeah. Well...

1490
01:16:34,263 --> 01:16:36,307
I may never be happy
at my job...

1491
01:16:36,390 --> 01:16:39,268
but I think that if
I could be with you...

1492
01:16:39,351 --> 01:16:41,353
that I could be happy
with my life.

1493
01:16:41,437 --> 01:16:43,439
I've been a real asshole.

1494
01:16:43,522 --> 01:16:46,609
But, if you'd give it
another shot, I promise...

1495
01:16:46,692 --> 01:16:47,943
OK, shut up.

1496
01:16:52,364 --> 01:16:55,117
Whoa! Hey, what's going on here?

1497
01:16:55,201 --> 01:16:57,703
Get a room, you two! Ha ha!

1498
01:17:01,165 --> 01:17:03,250
I hate that guy.

1499
01:17:54,176 --> 01:17:56,262
Then Mr. Lumbergh
told me to talk to payroll...

1500
01:17:56,345 --> 01:17:58,931
and then payroll told me
to talk to Mr. Lumbergh.

1501
01:17:59,014 --> 01:18:01,600
And I still haven't received
my paycheque.

1502
01:18:01,684 --> 01:18:04,353
And he took my stapler,
and he never brought it back.

1503
01:18:04,436 --> 01:18:06,772
And then they moved my desk
to storage room "B."

1504
01:18:06,856 --> 01:18:08,691
And there was
garbage on it, and...

1505
01:18:08,774 --> 01:18:11,277
Why don't you go back down
and sit at your desk?

1506
01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:12,820
Mr. Lumbergh
should be here any minute.

1507
01:18:12,903 --> 01:18:16,115
- Mr. Lumbergh...
- Just go sit at your desk.

1508
01:18:16,198 --> 01:18:18,659
OK. But, I... I'm gonna just...

1509
01:18:26,333 --> 01:18:28,169
I have to take
my stapler back...

1510
01:18:28,252 --> 01:18:31,964
because I told him
it's my stapler.

1511
01:18:36,844 --> 01:18:38,679
It's my stapler.

1512
01:18:38,762 --> 01:18:42,516
A Swingline, the brand
I've been using for a long time.

1513
01:19:01,702 --> 01:19:03,037
Lawrence, you in there?

1514
01:19:04,872 --> 01:19:06,916
Whoa. Hey, Peter, man.

1515
01:19:06,999 --> 01:19:08,667
Hey.

1516
01:19:08,751 --> 01:19:10,961
So, I might be going away
for a while.

1517
01:19:11,045 --> 01:19:12,963
Yeah, I know, man.

1518
01:19:13,047 --> 01:19:15,549
It's a bummer, dude.
What can I say?

1519
01:19:15,633 --> 01:19:17,676
Yeah. Yeah.

1520
01:19:19,345 --> 01:19:22,848
Well, time to go face the music.

1521
01:19:22,932 --> 01:19:25,518
You take care of yourself
if I don't see you, all right?

1522
01:19:25,601 --> 01:19:28,103
You too, man.
Take her easy, bud.

1523
01:19:28,187 --> 01:19:29,647
All right.

1524
01:19:30,773 --> 01:19:32,149
Hey, Peter.

1525
01:19:32,233 --> 01:19:33,901
Yeah?

1526
01:19:35,027 --> 01:19:36,695
Watch out for your cornhole,
bud.

1527
01:19:38,197 --> 01:19:39,615
OK, Lawrence.

1528
01:19:53,337 --> 01:19:55,840
Stay clear, now.
Stay clear.

1529
01:19:55,923 --> 01:19:58,092
Holy shit.

1530
01:21:07,578 --> 01:21:10,331
Wait a minute.
Let me take a look at that.

1531
01:21:11,165 --> 01:21:12,541
You don't want that, Peter, man.

1532
01:21:12,625 --> 01:21:14,001
That's toasted, man.

1533
01:21:14,084 --> 01:21:17,296
I think I know someone
who might want this.

1534
01:21:28,599 --> 01:21:29,767
Hey, man.

1535
01:21:31,018 --> 01:21:32,812
Wanna go to lunch?

1536
01:21:33,562 --> 01:21:34,855
Brought mine in a pail...

1537
01:21:34,939 --> 01:21:37,525
plus Joanna's supposed
to come by a little later.

1538
01:21:38,526 --> 01:21:40,945
How do you like your new job?

1539
01:21:41,028 --> 01:21:42,947
Not too bad, not too bad.

1540
01:21:43,030 --> 01:21:44,615
How's Penetrode?

1541
01:21:44,698 --> 01:21:46,325
Initrode.

1542
01:21:46,408 --> 01:21:47,701
They're all right.

1543
01:21:47,785 --> 01:21:49,119
It's work.

1544
01:21:49,203 --> 01:21:50,871
Yeah, yeah.

1545
01:21:50,955 --> 01:21:52,623
Probably get you a job there.

1546
01:21:52,706 --> 01:21:54,500
No, thanks. I, uh...

1547
01:21:54,583 --> 01:21:56,001
I'm doing good here.

1548
01:21:57,837 --> 01:22:01,674
So, uh...
we're gonna be OK, right?

1549
01:22:01,757 --> 01:22:03,592
Yeah.

1550
01:22:04,510 --> 01:22:06,971
I think the fire pretty much
took care of everything.

1551
01:22:07,054 --> 01:22:09,640
I wonder if the money burn up.

1552
01:22:09,723 --> 01:22:10,975
It would be shame.

1553
01:22:11,058 --> 01:22:12,434
Yeah.

1554
01:22:12,518 --> 01:22:15,396
So you sure you don't
want us to get you a job?

1555
01:22:15,479 --> 01:22:18,774
That's one thing
I'm definitely sure of.

1556
01:22:20,943 --> 01:22:22,820
All right, chief.

1557
01:22:22,903 --> 01:22:24,155
You guys take care, all right?

1558
01:22:24,238 --> 01:22:25,614
All right.

1559
01:22:26,740 --> 01:22:27,741
Stay in touch, man.

1560
01:22:27,825 --> 01:22:29,577
OK. Will do.

1561
01:22:33,789 --> 01:22:35,708
This isn't so bad, huh?

1562
01:22:36,876 --> 01:22:41,839
Making bucks, getting exercise,
working outside.

1563
01:22:41,922 --> 01:22:43,716
Fuckin' "A."

1564
01:22:46,343 --> 01:22:48,095
Fuckin' "A."

1565
01:23:06,572 --> 01:23:08,782
Excuse me. Excuse me, señor.

1566
01:23:08,866 --> 01:23:10,743
May I speak to you, please?

1567
01:23:10,826 --> 01:23:13,412
I asked for a mai tai,
and they brought a piña colada.

1568
01:23:13,496 --> 01:23:15,789
And I said no salt, no salt...

1569
01:23:15,873 --> 01:23:17,583
for the margarita,
but it had salt on it.

1570
01:23:17,666 --> 01:23:20,252
Lo siento mucho, señor.
Pinche gringo.

1571
01:23:20,336 --> 01:23:23,923
I won't be leaving a tip,
'cause I could...

1572
01:23:24,006 --> 01:23:25,841
I could shut
this whole resort down.

1573
01:23:25,925 --> 01:23:27,468
Sir?

1574
01:23:27,551 --> 01:23:32,014
I'll take my traveler's cheques
to a competing resort.

1575
01:23:33,933 --> 01:23:36,435
I could write a letter
to your board of tourism.

1576
01:23:36,519 --> 01:23:38,771
I could have this place
condemned.

1577
01:23:38,854 --> 01:23:43,609
I could put, I could put
strychnine in the guacamole.

1578
01:23:43,692 --> 01:23:46,237
There was salt on the glass,
big grains of salt.

1579
01:24:01,168 --> 01:24:03,128
Give a ride
on the old bone roller coaster.

1580
01:24:03,212 --> 01:24:05,256
Aaaah!

1581
01:24:19,854 --> 01:24:21,480
Don't come back
in a dress, man.

1582
01:24:21,564 --> 01:24:23,774
Ha ha ha. You big fag.

1583
01:24:46,505 --> 01:24:47,756
I'm working
at Hooters now, you know...

1584
01:24:47,840 --> 01:24:49,842
and it's very cool.