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1
00:00:00,828 --> 00:00:03,995
(FILM REEL CLICKING)

2
00:00:24,185 --> 00:00:26,935
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

3
00:00:34,566 --> 00:00:35,566
Ryan.

4
00:00:36,574 --> 00:00:37,652
Yeah?

5
00:00:37,653 --> 00:00:41,253
WOMAN: We should have sex right now.

6
00:00:41,254 --> 00:00:42,254
One,

7
00:00:43,105 --> 00:00:44,105
two,

8
00:00:45,366 --> 00:00:46,366
three.

9
00:00:47,345 --> 00:00:50,305
(BOTH MOANING) (BED CREAKING)

10
00:00:50,306 --> 00:00:54,366
(EXAGGERATED MOANING)

11
00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:55,372
Shh, shh.

12
00:00:55,373 --> 00:00:57,432
Jono, Jono's asleep.

13
00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,598
Jono.

14
00:00:58,599 --> 00:01:01,133
Wait, Jono's not here.

15
00:01:02,340 --> 00:01:03,173
Jono's not here this weekend.

16
00:01:03,174 --> 00:01:04,491
Beth is gone, too!

17
00:01:04,492 --> 00:01:05,325
We have the place to ourselves.

18
00:01:05,325 --> 00:01:06,180
We have the place to ourselves.

19
00:01:06,181 --> 00:01:07,419
BOTH: We have the place to ourselves!

20
00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:12,420
(BOTH YELLING EXCITEDLY)
(LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC)

21
00:01:12,801 --> 00:01:13,971
Our kitchen!

22
00:01:13,972 --> 00:01:15,677
We have the kitchen to ourselves!

23
00:01:15,678 --> 00:01:17,610
This is Jonathan's room, get out!

24
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:18,480
WOMAN: Okay.

25
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,380
RYAN: Roommate's gonna kill me.

26
00:01:19,381 --> 00:01:20,868
Ohh, let's go in the pool!

27
00:01:20,869 --> 00:01:21,869
Let's go in the pool,
let's go in the pool.

28
00:01:21,869 --> 00:01:22,702
RYAN: Pool.

29
00:01:22,703 --> 00:01:25,300
(SQUEALING)

30
00:01:25,301 --> 00:01:27,634
(SPLASHING)

31
00:01:30,650 --> 00:01:32,540
Why didn't you jump?

32
00:01:32,541 --> 00:01:34,057
What if the neighbors see?

33
00:01:34,058 --> 00:01:34,891
(CHUCKLES) What do you care?

34
00:01:34,892 --> 00:01:36,617
They're not your neighbors.

35
00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:37,618
I don't.

36
00:01:40,188 --> 00:01:41,028
Okay.

37
00:01:41,029 --> 00:01:42,097
Hang on one sec, I've got an idea.

38
00:01:42,098 --> 00:01:43,515
I've got an idea.

39
00:01:45,199 --> 00:01:50,199
What's your idea?

40
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,149
(LAUGHING)

41
00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:56,150
Mm.

42
00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:57,773
Ooh, ah.

43
00:01:57,774 --> 00:01:59,093
It's your next creation.

44
00:02:00,986 --> 00:02:02,329
(MUMBLING) Oh, my God.

45
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,855
It's so good.

46
00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:04,778
Mmm!

47
00:02:04,778 --> 00:02:05,630
Mm.

48
00:02:05,631 --> 00:02:06,939
We can do anything today.

49
00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:08,773
Anything at all, what do you wanna do?

50
00:02:10,348 --> 00:02:14,431
(CHARMING ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC)

51
00:02:25,470 --> 00:02:28,514
How is Cabbage Patch Dolls
not a top toy of the 80s?

52
00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:31,766
Why is a Tamagotchi
not a top toy of the 90s?

53
00:02:31,767 --> 00:02:34,315
What's a Tamagotchi?

54
00:02:34,316 --> 00:02:35,316
Really?

55
00:02:44,644 --> 00:02:47,319
Hey, which one of these would you post?

56
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,115
Those are the same cupcake, right?

57
00:02:49,116 --> 00:02:50,803
Yeah, but different angles.

58
00:02:55,138 --> 00:02:56,759
Oh, give me your laptop.

59
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:57,897
Blowjob on a boat?

60
00:02:57,898 --> 00:02:58,880
RYAN: Yeah.

61
00:02:58,881 --> 00:03:00,799
- Been tied up?
- Yup.

62
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,139
WOMAN: Kissed before exchanging names?

63
00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:04,030
Yup.

64
00:03:04,030 --> 00:03:04,863
Squirted?

65
00:03:04,864 --> 00:03:06,669
No, wait, that's not even
a real thing. (LAUGHS)

66
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,349
Prostate massage?

67
00:03:08,350 --> 00:03:09,627
- No, thank you.
- Are you sure?

68
00:03:09,628 --> 00:03:11,211
- Ahhh.
- Just once?

69
00:03:18,207 --> 00:03:20,235
WOMAN: Hey, have
you seen my phone cord?

70
00:03:20,236 --> 00:03:23,185
(BAG RATTLES)

71
00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:24,316
There it is.

72
00:03:24,317 --> 00:03:26,795
Why do you keep so much stuff with you?

73
00:03:26,796 --> 00:03:28,796
Well, you never know.

74
00:03:42,316 --> 00:03:43,149
Enough of these.

75
00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:45,617
Let's go to Angie's boudoir album.

76
00:03:45,618 --> 00:03:47,589
Are you gonna put
yourself in there again?

77
00:03:47,590 --> 00:03:48,496
WOMAN: Maybe.

78
00:03:48,497 --> 00:03:49,558
RYAN: Yeah, you want to?

79
00:03:49,559 --> 00:03:50,524
- Maybe.
- Yeah?

80
00:03:50,525 --> 00:03:51,834
WOMAN: How 'bout both of us?

81
00:03:51,835 --> 00:03:53,227
RYAN: Oh yeah, if you want.

82
00:03:53,228 --> 00:03:54,395
- Yeah.
- Yeah?

83
00:03:58,298 --> 00:04:00,548
(LAUGHING)

84
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:18,619
Okay, I might need your advice on this,

85
00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:20,419
'cause there are 10 things in life

86
00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:21,869
that I'll only realize when I'm old.

87
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:24,119
- Totally qualified.
- Yep, yep, okay.

88
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:27,339
Firstly, fight for the thing
that means the most to you.

89
00:04:27,340 --> 00:04:28,349
Yep.

90
00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,529
- Agree?
- Yep.

91
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:32,219
You were born for greatness,
believe in yourself.

92
00:04:32,220 --> 00:04:33,053
Oh, absolutely.

93
00:04:33,054 --> 00:04:34,275
Everyone's born for greatness.

94
00:04:34,276 --> 00:04:35,678
- I'm great, I'm great.
- You're great.

95
00:04:35,679 --> 00:04:37,039
- I think you're great.
- Thank you.

96
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,119
- Stop.
- Go, next one.

97
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:39,589
- All right, next one.
- Read it, read it.

98
00:04:39,590 --> 00:04:41,899
Do it your way, no regrets.

99
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:43,569
Do everything with,
like, no consequence,

100
00:04:43,570 --> 00:04:44,610
and be like, "I'm glad I did it that way."

101
00:04:44,611 --> 00:04:45,749
Absolutely.

102
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:47,369
Okay, sure, yes.

103
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,203
- Yes?
- Yes.

104
00:04:48,203 --> 00:04:49,203
Yeah.

105
00:04:49,929 --> 00:04:51,029
What's the last one?

106
00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:53,260
Find your own path.

107
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:55,320
Yeah.

108
00:04:56,090 --> 00:04:57,433
Yeah, find your own path.

109
00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,729
My path is gonna take me to

110
00:04:59,730 --> 00:05:01,109
the best pastries in the world.

111
00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:02,334
Mmm, sounds good.

112
00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:03,637
- France.
- Ohh.

113
00:05:03,638 --> 00:05:04,471
Gotta go to France first.

114
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,293
No, this reminds me of work.

115
00:05:06,294 --> 00:05:08,929
I can't stop thinkin' about that big trip.

116
00:05:08,930 --> 00:05:10,059
What trip?

117
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,919
Ah, it's our latest trip deal.

118
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:15,626
We're pushin' on our fan page,
social media and everywhere.

119
00:05:15,627 --> 00:05:19,113
If that one doesn't take off
then Magic Wanderers is poof.

120
00:05:22,437 --> 00:05:25,136
Oh, yup, "Our most magical wander yet."

121
00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:28,323
"35 countries, all flights
and hostel stay included."

122
00:05:28,324 --> 00:05:30,657
(MUTTERING)

123
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,499
RYAN: Yeah, I still
can't believe I let Jono

124
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:40,350
go out of town when it's such
a big weekend for the site.

125
00:05:42,370 --> 00:05:44,049
He and Beth, it's been three months

126
00:05:44,050 --> 00:05:44,969
and she's already movin' in.

127
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,419
You think it's a little fast?

128
00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:49,717
Wow.

129
00:05:49,718 --> 00:05:50,718
Ah.

130
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:54,449
Let's see, yellow, keep it mellow.

131
00:05:54,450 --> 00:05:55,963
If it's brown, flush it down.

132
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,789
Savin' the planet one flush at a time.

133
00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:01,069
WOMAN: Oh, my God!

134
00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:01,903
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!

135
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:02,820
What? What?

136
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,609
That blog, the sugar free recipe!

137
00:06:04,610 --> 00:06:07,219
It's been re-pinned 53 times.

138
00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:08,659
Get out of town.

139
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,989
And it's got three
comments for me to approve.

140
00:06:10,990 --> 00:06:12,426
Okay, do it.

141
00:06:12,427 --> 00:06:13,839
I'm too nervous.

142
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:14,959
- Come on, you can do it.
- You do it, you do it.

143
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,099
Come on, you do it for me.

144
00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,749
Okay, all right.

145
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:18,750
Okay.

146
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:21,858
Uh, let's skip the first one.

147
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:22,746
Why?

148
00:06:22,747 --> 00:06:24,289
What is it?

149
00:06:24,290 --> 00:06:27,069
This recipe looks like sweetened poo.

150
00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:28,266
Definitely canceled, okay.

151
00:06:28,267 --> 00:06:30,759
The second one's like
the thing for Viagra.

152
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,019
It's a link I could use some day.

153
00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:33,219
Just keep it up there, no, no?

154
00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:34,679
Okay, all right.

155
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:35,839
This last one is no big deal.

156
00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:37,206
It just says, "Your recipe rocks."

157
00:06:37,207 --> 00:06:39,066
"I tried it with my kids,

158
00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:41,866
"and they loved it despite the low sugar.

159
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:44,523
"Thanks," three exclamation marks.

160
00:06:44,524 --> 00:06:47,679
Yes, you did, baby! (SQUEALS)

161
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,739
Let me tell you, if a third
of your comments are good,

162
00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:52,389
you're an internet star.

163
00:06:52,390 --> 00:06:54,549
Have you thought about
that bakery cart idea?

164
00:06:54,550 --> 00:06:55,442
Not really.

165
00:06:55,443 --> 00:06:57,039
'Cause in Portland and San Francisco,

166
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,123
it's a huge movement.

167
00:06:58,124 --> 00:07:00,269
I think you could be amazing
at here in New Zealand.

168
00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:01,869
You can make it happen.

169
00:07:01,870 --> 00:07:02,703
Maybe.

170
00:07:02,704 --> 00:07:04,189
Yeah, or in the meantime,

171
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:05,979
you could teach me to bake today.

172
00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:06,813
- Okay.
- Yes?

173
00:07:06,814 --> 00:07:07,999
- Okay.
- Okay, cool.

174
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,143
There's this recipe on
your site that's like,

175
00:07:12,430 --> 00:07:14,509
what, are you making wedding dresses?

176
00:07:14,510 --> 00:07:16,963
Is there a new subject, "Dear Blog,"

177
00:07:16,964 --> 00:07:18,369
- that I should know about?
- No.

178
00:07:18,370 --> 00:07:19,370
That's just my stupid cousin.

179
00:07:19,371 --> 00:07:21,399
She wants me to be a
bridesmaid at her wedding.

180
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,309
Oh, well, that's not stupid, right?

181
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,469
Well, she's like 21.

182
00:07:24,470 --> 00:07:25,999
Why is she getting married that young?

183
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,849
I mean, did people in your generation

184
00:07:27,850 --> 00:07:28,683
get married that young?

185
00:07:28,684 --> 00:07:29,719
Oh, my generation?

186
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:30,839
Oh, you mean like the Great Depression?

187
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:31,810
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.

188
00:07:31,811 --> 00:07:33,546
We had to sit together back then, so...

189
00:07:33,547 --> 00:07:35,539
No, seriously.

190
00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:38,679
Oh, well, there was this one girl.

191
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,489
Her name was Jessica,

192
00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:43,479
and we dated for a little bit,

193
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,069
and then we broke up right after school,

194
00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:48,119
and the first guy she went out with

195
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,478
after that got her pregnant.

196
00:07:51,479 --> 00:07:52,312
Oh.

197
00:07:52,313 --> 00:07:54,559
Yeah, so she had kids right away.

198
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,289
She must've had a very
boring sex life, then,

199
00:07:56,290 --> 00:07:57,869
with just the one guy.

200
00:07:57,870 --> 00:07:58,703
But at the same time, you know,

201
00:07:58,704 --> 00:08:00,589
if you're with one person for a long time,

202
00:08:00,590 --> 00:08:03,743
they can start to know all your
tricks and licks, you know?

203
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:05,669
I remember this thing that she used

204
00:08:05,670 --> 00:08:07,079
to do to me in her basement.

205
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:07,913
No, wait, hang on, hang on.

206
00:08:07,914 --> 00:08:11,199
We have a rule that we don't
go into detail about our exes.

207
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,200
Okay.

208
00:08:14,359 --> 00:08:16,049
Are you jealous?

209
00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:16,883
No.

210
00:08:16,884 --> 00:08:17,907
You don't have to be jealous.

211
00:08:17,908 --> 00:08:19,969
There's nothing to threaten you here.

212
00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:21,669
'Cause if it really bothered you,

213
00:08:21,670 --> 00:08:23,149
one thing that we could do is

214
00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:27,721
I could just change my relationship status

215
00:08:27,722 --> 00:08:29,019
to be attached to Lizzie Conley.

216
00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:30,662
Are you serious?

217
00:08:30,663 --> 00:08:32,113
No.

218
00:08:32,114 --> 00:08:35,260
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

219
00:08:35,261 --> 00:08:36,310
Oh, my God, why would you do that?

220
00:08:36,311 --> 00:08:37,992
No, I didn't do it.

221
00:08:37,993 --> 00:08:41,129
I did it, but it doesn't
count until you approve it.

222
00:08:41,130 --> 00:08:43,109
Well, the great thing
about our relationship

223
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,859
is that we're free to be just us,

224
00:08:44,860 --> 00:08:46,269
just be honest and everything.

225
00:08:46,270 --> 00:08:48,049
Okay, yeah, of course, yeah.

226
00:08:48,050 --> 00:08:50,459
I mean, we have an honest, open thing.

227
00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:52,226
I don't want to, you know?

228
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,029
- That's not who we are.
- No.

229
00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:55,809
We're free to do and be,

230
00:08:55,810 --> 00:08:57,539
and be and do who...

231
00:08:57,540 --> 00:08:59,109
Right, we're open, and...

232
00:08:59,110 --> 00:09:00,570
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

233
00:09:00,571 --> 00:09:02,399
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

234
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,519
I mean, we don't have to
be like Ozzie and Harriet,

235
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,909
Donna Reid, 1950s Nick
at Nite show, you know?

236
00:09:06,910 --> 00:09:08,409
Like your job is to make my dinner

237
00:09:08,410 --> 00:09:09,479
on time when we get home from work.

238
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,539
Absolutely, and make sure
that you say grace at the table.

239
00:09:11,540 --> 00:09:14,119
Yes, everyone holding hands,
and then our 2.5 children...

240
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:14,953
Playing Yahtzee.

241
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,249
Playing Yahtzee at the end of the night,

242
00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:17,250
and goin' to bed.

243
00:09:18,039 --> 00:09:20,713
(GROANING) in separate beds.

244
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:25,599
Thank you for that sexual intercourse.

245
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:26,600
Oh, you're very welcome.

246
00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:28,829
I was pretending the whole time.

247
00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:30,639
At least now I have my sperm inside you,

248
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,879
so that you can give me my third child.

249
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:33,713
Aw, thank you, darling.

250
00:09:33,714 --> 00:09:35,603
You're such a loving provider.

251
00:09:37,390 --> 00:09:39,409
No white picket fence for us.

252
00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:40,867
Mm.

253
00:09:40,868 --> 00:09:43,118
(CHUCKLES)

254
00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:49,559
(SHOWER RUNNING)
(SOMBER GUITAR MUSIC)

255
00:10:14,098 --> 00:10:15,185
RYAN: Turn off the...

256
00:10:15,186 --> 00:10:17,374
LIZZIE: Okay, 80%, this water.

257
00:10:17,375 --> 00:10:19,227
And energy.

258
00:10:19,228 --> 00:10:21,311
(LAUGHS)

259
00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:25,962
Hey, so I want to talk to you...

260
00:10:25,963 --> 00:10:29,259
I just wanted to say
that I'm totally okay

261
00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:32,376
with this whole no strings
attached thing, okay?

262
00:10:32,377 --> 00:10:35,429
I'm not gonna get obsessive or crazy.

263
00:10:35,430 --> 00:10:37,993
It's your path 100% of the way.

264
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,180
Okay?

265
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,229
Hey, so you know the deal on your site?

266
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:50,909
I thought we weren't
gonna talk about work today.

267
00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:53,499
The thing is makin' me lose
more money and hair by the day.

268
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,763
Yeah, but I'm thinking of taking it.

269
00:10:59,087 --> 00:11:02,317
Great.

270
00:11:02,318 --> 00:11:03,318
Great.

271
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:05,699
No.

272
00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:07,183
No, no, it's great.

273
00:11:09,547 --> 00:11:10,833
Can you afford it?

274
00:11:12,719 --> 00:11:16,019
I don't know, I mean, I
can borrow from somebody.

275
00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:17,379
You know what, it's crazy.

276
00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:18,280
We don't have to talk about work.

277
00:11:18,281 --> 00:11:20,269
We don't need another potential
customer in the shower.

278
00:11:20,270 --> 00:11:21,270
It's okay.

279
00:11:23,788 --> 00:11:26,955
(SOMBER GUITAR MUSIC)

280
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:43,809
If you're gonna be on my show,

281
00:11:43,810 --> 00:11:45,599
you better not use a recipe book.

282
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:46,659
Fine.

283
00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:47,650
- Fine.
- Fine.

284
00:11:47,650 --> 00:11:48,522
- Fine.
- Fine.

285
00:11:48,523 --> 00:11:49,739
(LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC)

286
00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:53,048
(MUFFLED MOANING)

287
00:11:53,049 --> 00:11:54,489
LIZZIE: Watch the pro, watch the pro.

288
00:11:54,490 --> 00:11:56,079
Stop moving it, just leave it.

289
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,555
Hold it, hold it, hold it. Okay.

290
00:11:57,556 --> 00:11:58,608
(BOTH LAUGHING)

291
00:11:58,609 --> 00:11:59,848
RYAN: Check this out.

292
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:00,970
Oh, shit.

293
00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,925
- Oh, clearly. (LAUGHING)
- See?

294
00:12:02,926 --> 00:12:04,526
RYAN: That's really
good, just one hand.

295
00:12:06,314 --> 00:12:08,922
This is like cake mix.

296
00:12:08,923 --> 00:12:09,756
- Okay.
- What did you do?

297
00:12:09,757 --> 00:12:11,220
- Is that bad?
- That's very bad.

298
00:12:11,221 --> 00:12:12,801
(SKILLET SIZZLES)

299
00:12:12,802 --> 00:12:13,693
(RYAN MIMICS SIZZLING)

300
00:12:13,693 --> 00:12:14,526
LIZZIE: Ahh.

301
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:15,359
Magic.

302
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,989
And in the US they make
these silver dollar ones.

303
00:12:16,990 --> 00:12:18,319
I don't know if they do that here.

304
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,070
Like pikelets.

305
00:12:20,071 --> 00:12:20,911
Pie clits?

306
00:12:20,912 --> 00:12:22,132
- Pikelets.
- Pie clits?

307
00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:23,732
They're like really
small, (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

308
00:12:23,733 --> 00:12:25,452
RYAN: More, more, more,

309
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:26,793
more, more, more...

310
00:12:26,794 --> 00:12:28,412
No, that's enough, that's
enough, that's enough.

311
00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:30,492
- (LAUGHS)
- Oh, man.

312
00:12:30,493 --> 00:12:32,249
This is gonna make me kinda sick, huh?

313
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:33,409
All right.

314
00:12:33,410 --> 00:12:34,410
Um,

315
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:36,620
can we?

316
00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:39,892
No, I don't, I don't want, (STAMMERS)

317
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,679
we were talking before
about the whole 50s thing,

318
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:43,919
and it's ridiculous, right?

319
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,879
But one thing that we
don't really ever do is,

320
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,199
I don't really do enough,

321
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,559
is give gratitude, you know?

322
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:51,869
So, I just thought,

323
00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:53,919
but it's stupid, it's
stupid, let's just eat.

324
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,559
No, wait, hang on, hang
on, hang on, hang on.

325
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,119
I watched a Ted Talk where people

326
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,070
who are grateful happen to live longer.

327
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:02,683
Okay, yeah.

328
00:13:03,670 --> 00:13:04,909
Let's live longer.

329
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:05,825
- Okay.
- Okay.

330
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:09,158
(CHUCKLES) All right.

331
00:13:10,510 --> 00:13:12,123
Okay, uh,

332
00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:16,199
I'm grateful to be here at Ryan's house,

333
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,059
which is swanky.

334
00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:19,424
Well, it's not really my house.

335
00:13:19,425 --> 00:13:20,779
It's more like Jono's house.

336
00:13:20,780 --> 00:13:22,435
- You still live here.
- Well, I just live here.

337
00:13:22,436 --> 00:13:23,269
(CROSS-TALKING)

338
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,879
- Okay.
- Okay.

339
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,199
Uh, I'm thankful to the universe

340
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,899
for creating stars that blow up

341
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:32,819
into different elements
and reassemble themselves

342
00:13:32,820 --> 00:13:35,963
into amazing pancakes with
the help of an amazing cook.

343
00:13:37,079 --> 00:13:39,943
I'm grateful to maple
syrup for being on sale.

344
00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:46,077
I'm grateful to maple
syrup trees in Canada

345
00:13:46,078 --> 00:13:48,219
that have survived
climate change long enough

346
00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:52,473
to stay cold enough to keep
making syrup for us forever.

347
00:13:54,110 --> 00:13:55,699
I'm grateful to fossil
fuels for bringing me

348
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:58,050
cute American guys to
New Zealand to play with.

349
00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:01,529
And to Magic Wanders, uh, that exists

350
00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:04,109
because for the first
time in world history,

351
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:08,379
people can truly wander at
will to pursue happiness

352
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,913
in any way that they want.

353
00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:13,830
Amen?

354
00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:16,079
(CAMERA SHUTTERING)
It looks amazing, isn't it?

355
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:17,639
LIZZIE: It's so good, mm-hmm.

356
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,299
It is gorgeous.

357
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:20,589
Oh, I know what we can do.
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

358
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:23,039
We can go over and start
off in Enigma, right?

359
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:25,089
And then slowly go up Mount Vick.

360
00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:26,903
Please untag me from the photo.

361
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:29,993
Okay.

362
00:14:31,153 --> 00:14:33,589
I just don't want my
colleagues and stuff...

363
00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:34,619
No, no, I wouldn't want you

364
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:35,829
to stop dating your colleagues,

365
00:14:35,830 --> 00:14:37,669
or have the option at least to...

366
00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:38,640
No.

367
00:14:38,641 --> 00:14:40,019
No, it's okay, it's okay.

368
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:42,402
Also, Tinder is an option for you as well.

369
00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:44,609
It's still on your phone. Yeah.

370
00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:46,683
I should get rid of it eventually.

371
00:14:47,650 --> 00:14:48,650
Did you?

372
00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:51,149
Oh, no, it's probably still

373
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:52,439
maybe in the back of my phone somewhere.

374
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,159
I think I have it, like,
inside of a folder of a folder.

375
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,710
I can do a search for it, but...

376
00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:02,189
I just think online's just,

377
00:15:02,190 --> 00:15:03,639
try and keep things private sometimes.

378
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,237
You don't have to tell
everybody everything.

379
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,659
(PHONE WHISTLES)
(FORCED CHUCKLING)

380
00:15:08,660 --> 00:15:10,979
Ooh, your college friend, Angie,

381
00:15:10,980 --> 00:15:15,249
oh, speak of the devil,
is liking my photos.

382
00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:16,989
She thinks I'm sexy.

383
00:15:16,990 --> 00:15:18,767
That's not the word she used for me.

384
00:15:18,768 --> 00:15:19,601
(CHUCKLES)

385
00:15:19,601 --> 00:15:20,440
She's stalking both of us.

386
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:23,299
I think you two are meant
to be together, basically.

387
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:24,300
Maybe.

388
00:15:26,678 --> 00:15:27,678
I'll tell you what.

389
00:15:29,397 --> 00:15:31,085
(PHONE CAMERA CLICKS)
Are you snapping her?

390
00:15:31,086 --> 00:15:31,958
Yeah.

391
00:15:31,959 --> 00:15:33,219
(CHUCKLES) Snapchatting or whatever?

392
00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:34,719
That's amateur.

393
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,089
Phone sex.

394
00:15:36,090 --> 00:15:38,549
Now that is a lost art.

395
00:15:38,550 --> 00:15:40,129
- What are you doing?
- Calling Angie.

396
00:15:40,130 --> 00:15:41,187
Oh, my God, no you're not.

397
00:15:41,188 --> 00:15:42,365
(LAUGHS) Yes.

398
00:15:42,366 --> 00:15:43,199
No, no, no!

399
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,359
Wait, wait, it's ringing.

400
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,984
- It's okay.
- Are you serious?

401
00:15:45,985 --> 00:15:48,288
No, no, no, no, no, no!

402
00:15:48,289 --> 00:15:50,609
Wait, wait, hang on, hang on, hang on!

403
00:15:50,610 --> 00:15:52,039
It's still ringing, let her pick up.

404
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,040
Stop, come on.

405
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,699
That's crossing the line.

406
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:01,199
What's wrong with a little analog love?

407
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,819
I don't even know what that is.

408
00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:04,851
Oh, really?

409
00:16:04,852 --> 00:16:07,821
(GIGGLING)

410
00:16:07,822 --> 00:16:08,822
Mmm.

411
00:16:14,681 --> 00:16:16,789
Oh, we never had sex up here.

412
00:16:16,790 --> 00:16:17,809
Let's do it.

413
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:18,643
No, we don't...

414
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,051
Tell you what, tell you what, hang on.

415
00:16:20,052 --> 00:16:21,410
(GRUNTING)

416
00:16:21,411 --> 00:16:22,244
Okay.

417
00:16:22,245 --> 00:16:23,849
Let's make it like a sexercise thing.

418
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,979
I'm gonna be like the girl
from Midnight Espresso, okay,

419
00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:26,970
'cause I know you like her,

420
00:16:26,971 --> 00:16:28,329
and you'll be like thrusting this way,

421
00:16:28,330 --> 00:16:29,636
and then I'm gonna be up this way,

422
00:16:29,637 --> 00:16:31,963
and yeah, it'll be like
two birds with one stone.

423
00:16:33,550 --> 00:16:34,550
No.

424
00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:36,213
Let me tell you something.

425
00:16:36,214 --> 00:16:37,975
I have a confession to make, okay?

426
00:16:37,976 --> 00:16:39,606
No, no, no, it's okay, you
don't have to tell me anything.

427
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:40,470
No, I do.

428
00:16:40,471 --> 00:16:41,509
I got to let you know.

429
00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:45,353
You're not just like a body to me.

430
00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:48,790
Yeah?

431
00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:52,860
I love you.

432
00:17:07,056 --> 00:17:08,056
Yay.

433
00:17:10,566 --> 00:17:13,566
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

434
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,267
I don't know, Mum, just busy.

435
00:17:25,153 --> 00:17:27,822
I'm not comparing my life
to old uni friends, okay?

436
00:17:27,823 --> 00:17:30,573
(MOUSE CLICKING)

437
00:17:33,020 --> 00:17:35,170
Nothing, I'm just super
stressed right now.

438
00:17:47,804 --> 00:17:50,309
(SIGHS)

439
00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:52,110
Yeah, he just got back from the U.S.

440
00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:19,792
(CELL PHONE CHIRPS)

441
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,729
Hey, Mummy, I got to go.

442
00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:47,519
Okay, we'll talk some more soon.

443
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:48,969
Okay, bye.

444
00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:50,173
- Hi.
- Hi.

445
00:18:51,140 --> 00:18:52,940
Keep using my laptop if you wanna.

446
00:18:53,786 --> 00:18:54,786
Okay.

447
00:18:55,590 --> 00:18:56,590
Ah,

448
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:00,669
I've been thinkin' about the trip.

449
00:19:00,670 --> 00:19:01,610
Yeah, me, too.

450
00:19:01,611 --> 00:19:02,999
Okay, all right.

451
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,039
So, if you're thinking about the trip,

452
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,229
I'm thinking about the trip,

453
00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:07,299
I was thinking that maybe
instead of going out

454
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:10,309
for lunch or something like that,

455
00:19:10,310 --> 00:19:14,029
maybe I could help
figure it out, you know?

456
00:19:14,030 --> 00:19:15,529
'Cause I wanna be of some kind of use.

457
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:16,969
I know that I can't do anything

458
00:19:16,970 --> 00:19:18,849
on the Magic Wanders end of it.

459
00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:19,959
I mean, it's a one time deal,

460
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,609
but I can help you talk
it out, you know, or...

461
00:19:22,610 --> 00:19:24,760
But it's not just
about the trip, though.

462
00:19:25,810 --> 00:19:28,989
Yeah, I mean, you've got
the bakery cart options

463
00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:30,509
and everything like
that, I totally get it,

464
00:19:30,510 --> 00:19:33,573
but I just figured if you take that trip,

465
00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:37,180
this could be our last day together.

466
00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:39,580
Yeah?

467
00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:46,019
Okay, let's do it.

468
00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:46,853
Let's do it.

469
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:47,686
Yeah.

470
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,579
We're gonna have a hot lava
moat around the house, okay?

471
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:51,413
- Okay.
- We're locked in.

472
00:19:51,414 --> 00:19:52,668
We can't leave.

473
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:54,228
- Just you and me.
- Just us.

474
00:19:54,229 --> 00:19:55,629
Okay.

475
00:19:55,630 --> 00:19:56,630
Uh,

476
00:19:57,710 --> 00:19:58,710
what do we do?

477
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:00,949
I have no idea.

478
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,579
A list.

479
00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,159
(LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC)

480
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,289
Probably start with Vegas.

481
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,473
Vegas? Okay, cool.

482
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,248
Uh, parkour.

483
00:20:11,249 --> 00:20:12,749
- Parkore, like...
- No, I'm just kidding.

484
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:13,583
No, I want you to do it.

485
00:20:13,584 --> 00:20:15,223
- Build a home.
- Okay.

486
00:20:16,170 --> 00:20:17,150
Get in shape.

487
00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:18,083
Get in shape.

488
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:19,060
Everybody wants to get in shape, right?

489
00:20:19,061 --> 00:20:20,419
Mm-hmm.

490
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,360
Learn an instrument.

491
00:20:21,361 --> 00:20:22,929
On top of that, learn a language.

492
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,929
Um, open a bakery.

493
00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:26,529
Yeah, awesome.

494
00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:27,569
Karate champion.

495
00:20:27,570 --> 00:20:29,309
I used to be a brown belt in high school.

496
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:31,089
- What?
- Join the circus.

497
00:20:31,090 --> 00:20:32,649
Yes. Yes.

498
00:20:32,650 --> 00:20:34,049
Oh, make a web series.

499
00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:35,159
Use my degree?

500
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,749
Use your degree in...

501
00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:38,719
- Philosophy.
- Philosophy.

502
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,139
That's a little, yes,
you will find a way.

503
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:42,249
Every day, you're using it.

504
00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:43,181
- Yeah, no?
- Yeah.

505
00:20:43,182 --> 00:20:45,509
Okay. (PHONE CHIMES)

506
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:47,229
Oh, you've been tagged.

507
00:20:47,230 --> 00:20:48,469
It's your sister and nephews.

508
00:20:48,470 --> 00:20:49,920
I know, yeah, they're cute.

509
00:20:51,213 --> 00:20:52,080
LIZZIE: It says your dad tagged you,

510
00:20:52,081 --> 00:20:53,870
but you're not in it.

511
00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:55,942
Ah.

512
00:20:55,943 --> 00:20:56,943
Yeah.

513
00:20:58,570 --> 00:21:01,092
What else? Uh, long term stuff.

514
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,999
I'd like to pay off my student loans.

515
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,972
Maybe have a family?

516
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:06,113
Have a family? Sure.

517
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:08,320
What else?

518
00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:10,320
White picket fence?

519
00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:15,240
What do you think about that?

520
00:21:16,159 --> 00:21:18,409
(CHUCKLES)

521
00:21:19,393 --> 00:21:20,393
And

522
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:23,359
what about, like, romance?

523
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,860
I mean, you got your whole
life ahead of you here.

524
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:28,139
At least...

525
00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:29,517
- I dunno.
- Somethin'.

526
00:21:30,730 --> 00:21:32,349
Like, it might be weird,
but just to be honest

527
00:21:32,350 --> 00:21:34,773
about the list, we'll just put this here.

528
00:21:35,731 --> 00:21:36,564
There we go.

529
00:21:36,565 --> 00:21:37,693
Just an idea.

530
00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:40,220
Yeah?

531
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:43,240
Okay.

532
00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:45,850
Shall we?

533
00:21:47,731 --> 00:21:49,898
(EXHALES)

534
00:21:53,830 --> 00:21:54,720
That's a lot of stuff.

535
00:21:54,721 --> 00:21:56,220
Yeah, that's a lot of stuff.

536
00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:01,700
But we could do it.

537
00:22:03,450 --> 00:22:04,399
Today.

538
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,732
(RISING BIG BAND MUSIC)

539
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,439
Reverse strip blackjack.

540
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,949
Look at this, we got
clothes everywhere, right?

541
00:22:25,950 --> 00:22:28,650
I mean, half of this is
Beth's, and the rest is Paris.

542
00:22:30,260 --> 00:22:33,841
Whoever loses, has to put on a layer.

543
00:22:33,842 --> 00:22:35,451
- Hit.
- Boom, you lose!

544
00:22:35,452 --> 00:22:38,590
(CHUCKLES) Why did you hit on 19?

545
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:40,508
Aww, come on, bust you.

546
00:22:41,572 --> 00:22:44,822
(CHUCKLING) Very nice.

547
00:22:46,802 --> 00:22:49,052
(CHUCKLES)

548
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,709
Business underneath, and butch,

549
00:22:54,710 --> 00:22:55,562
maybe not so much...

550
00:22:55,562 --> 00:22:56,420
LIZZIE: With the kitty cat.

551
00:22:56,421 --> 00:22:58,649
That's a different kind of butch.

552
00:22:58,650 --> 00:23:01,395
(CAMERA SHUTTERING)

553
00:23:01,396 --> 00:23:02,725
Getting a little sweaty in there, huh?

554
00:23:02,726 --> 00:23:03,570
LIZZIE: It's all right.

555
00:23:03,571 --> 00:23:05,129
Maybe gambling isn't your thing.

556
00:23:05,130 --> 00:23:07,289
Maybe like a Grand Canyon in the US trip

557
00:23:07,290 --> 00:23:09,209
would be your best bet?

558
00:23:09,210 --> 00:23:10,649
What about you, you've
moved to Wellington.

559
00:23:10,650 --> 00:23:13,279
You got your start up and
you could lose it any minute.

560
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,599
Yeah, but, I dunno,
it was just kinda time

561
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,109
to be an adult, you know?

562
00:23:18,110 --> 00:23:21,209
I wanted to make something of myself.

563
00:23:21,210 --> 00:23:23,669
You got to take a risk
sometimes to get what you want.

564
00:23:23,670 --> 00:23:25,669
I get the whole bakery thing,
I wanna do the bakery thing,

565
00:23:25,670 --> 00:23:27,751
but travel...

566
00:23:27,752 --> 00:23:30,153
Yeah, and don't let anybody
hold you back from that.

567
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,805
I was dating this girl in
San Francisco, and she...

568
00:23:34,806 --> 00:23:37,409
Hang on, hang on, we
have a rule, remember?

569
00:23:37,410 --> 00:23:38,885
Oh, yeah, okay.

570
00:23:38,886 --> 00:23:42,059
(CASUAL ELEVATOR MUSIC)

571
00:23:42,060 --> 00:23:43,429
You know what? Sod it.

572
00:23:43,430 --> 00:23:44,430
Tell me the story.

573
00:23:45,450 --> 00:23:46,283
You sawed it?

574
00:23:46,284 --> 00:23:47,589
Sod, S-O-D.

575
00:23:47,590 --> 00:23:48,423
S-O-D, sod it.

576
00:23:48,423 --> 00:23:49,410
Just put grass on it.

577
00:23:49,411 --> 00:23:50,761
Which means...
Screw it, like screw it.

578
00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:51,595
(CHUCKLES) Cool.

579
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:54,679
Okay, 'cause it's kind of a
stupid rule anyway, right?

580
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,669
Yeah, so this girl, uh,

581
00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:59,999
she was obsessed with painting,

582
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,969
and I thought she was amazingly talented.

583
00:24:01,970 --> 00:24:03,279
And she just had this dream, you know,

584
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,269
like to get away from her crazy mother,

585
00:24:05,270 --> 00:24:08,749
and her little small town
life, and do something.

586
00:24:08,750 --> 00:24:13,119
And I tried to help her in any
way that I could, you know.

587
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,699
I was like trying to
sign her up for classes,

588
00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:16,700
and she wouldn't go,

589
00:24:16,701 --> 00:24:19,209
and I was trying to take
her to art galleries,

590
00:24:19,210 --> 00:24:20,043
and she wouldn't go,

591
00:24:20,044 --> 00:24:22,189
and so finally I just, like,

592
00:24:22,190 --> 00:24:25,109
I had to leave her just
to give her her space

593
00:24:25,110 --> 00:24:27,773
so she could be who she wanted to be.

594
00:24:28,969 --> 00:24:30,669
And I went traveling.

595
00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:33,009
And I went Calcutta, and it blew my mind,

596
00:24:33,010 --> 00:24:35,440
and I went to Tokyo, and it blew my mind,

597
00:24:35,441 --> 00:24:38,297
and I went to Sri Lanka,
and it blew my mind.

598
00:24:38,298 --> 00:24:40,799
And I kept get getting
higher, higher, higher

599
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,139
until my head exploded,

600
00:24:42,140 --> 00:24:44,619
and it was one of the best explosions,

601
00:24:44,620 --> 00:24:48,397
second best explosion, ever.
(LAUGHING)

602
00:24:49,380 --> 00:24:50,549
- Hit?
- Yes.

603
00:24:50,550 --> 00:24:52,596
- Are you sure you wanna hit?
- I'm gonna win this.

604
00:24:52,597 --> 00:24:53,430
(GROANS)

605
00:24:53,430 --> 00:24:54,263
(LAUGHING)

606
00:24:54,264 --> 00:24:56,377
You're so busted!

607
00:24:56,378 --> 00:24:59,295
(LAUGHING) So easy!

608
00:25:04,266 --> 00:25:06,266
You know I was just
kidding about Parkour, right?

609
00:25:07,410 --> 00:25:10,356
Sometimes our greatest
dreams are kidded first.

610
00:25:10,357 --> 00:25:12,563
INSTRUCTOR: And two, and three, and...

611
00:25:12,564 --> 00:25:16,103
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

612
00:25:16,104 --> 00:25:17,501
(GRUNTS)

613
00:25:17,502 --> 00:25:18,502
It's easy!

614
00:25:21,062 --> 00:25:24,069
(CACOPHONOUS BANGING)

615
00:25:24,070 --> 00:25:24,909
Remember to breathe.

616
00:25:24,910 --> 00:25:27,159
Are my buns steel-ifying?

617
00:25:28,470 --> 00:25:30,877
(CACOPHONOUS BANGING)

618
00:25:30,878 --> 00:25:34,210
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

619
00:25:34,211 --> 00:25:36,469
INSTRUCTOR: Feel that burn!

620
00:25:36,470 --> 00:25:37,749
My tempo, my tempo!
(BANGING POTS)

621
00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:38,909
My tempo, my tempo,

622
00:25:38,910 --> 00:25:41,327
my tempo, my tempo, my tempo!

623
00:25:43,150 --> 00:25:44,091
(GRUNTING)

624
00:25:44,092 --> 00:25:45,137
Come on, no.

625
00:25:45,138 --> 00:25:46,976
You're looking at me like
that's an impossible move

626
00:25:46,977 --> 00:25:47,840
or something like that.

627
00:25:47,841 --> 00:25:49,033
Anybody can do that.

628
00:25:50,330 --> 00:25:51,163
That's not what I meant.

629
00:25:51,164 --> 00:25:52,189
Nobody can do,

630
00:25:52,190 --> 00:25:53,379
very few people.

631
00:25:53,380 --> 00:25:55,029
There's only one per, there's two.

632
00:25:55,030 --> 00:25:57,193
You're amazing in every way.

633
00:25:59,851 --> 00:26:04,184
(BOTH SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

634
00:26:07,510 --> 00:26:08,810
- Maori language.
- Maori.

635
00:26:08,811 --> 00:26:10,257
Okay, oh, yeah, bro.

636
00:26:10,258 --> 00:26:11,399
Let's go.

637
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:12,429
- No.
- That sounds right.

638
00:26:12,430 --> 00:26:13,727
Doesn't that sound good?

639
00:26:13,728 --> 00:26:14,969
Is that, is that racist?

640
00:26:14,970 --> 00:26:15,950
Is that bad?

641
00:26:15,951 --> 00:26:16,988
That's pretty bad.

642
00:26:16,989 --> 00:26:20,906
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

643
00:26:21,990 --> 00:26:23,627
You know what? I got this.

644
00:26:23,628 --> 00:26:25,239
I can do it, okay, I don't need this.

645
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:26,559
Uh,

646
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:27,847
all righty.

647
00:26:27,848 --> 00:26:28,931
Here we go.

648
00:26:29,819 --> 00:26:33,736
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

649
00:26:39,630 --> 00:26:41,010
Ahh!

650
00:26:41,011 --> 00:26:43,159
That was fucking awesome.

651
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:44,259
I'm gonna email this to you, okay?

652
00:26:44,260 --> 00:26:46,959
You can post it and send
it to everybody you know.

653
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,733
It's all right, you can tag me.

654
00:26:52,856 --> 00:26:54,715
I'm gonna do it again.

655
00:26:54,716 --> 00:26:55,549
(SIGHS)

656
00:26:55,550 --> 00:26:57,057
Yeah.

657
00:26:57,058 --> 00:27:00,975
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

658
00:27:03,706 --> 00:27:05,913
(PHONE CLICKING)

659
00:27:05,914 --> 00:27:08,229
(GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC)

660
00:27:08,230 --> 00:27:10,096
If you can get one more
sheet from down there,

661
00:27:10,097 --> 00:27:12,409
and we'll just cover it up at the top.

662
00:27:12,410 --> 00:27:13,889
Take this,

663
00:27:13,890 --> 00:27:15,484
this... (GIGGLING)

664
00:27:15,485 --> 00:27:17,293
- This right here.
- Ahh!

665
00:27:17,294 --> 00:27:18,364
- Like this?
- No.

666
00:27:18,365 --> 00:27:19,294
- Like this?
- (CHUCKLES) No.

667
00:27:19,294 --> 00:27:20,165
- Like this?
- (LAUGHS) No!

668
00:27:20,165 --> 00:27:20,998
Like this?

669
00:27:20,999 --> 00:27:22,362
Oh, your McMansion is killing me!

670
00:27:22,363 --> 00:27:26,043
LIZZIE: It's my
house, eco boy! (Laughs)

671
00:27:27,910 --> 00:27:29,569
RYAN: So how can I be more useful here?

672
00:27:29,570 --> 00:27:31,709
Okay, you can go make us some tea.

673
00:27:31,710 --> 00:27:33,964
I'm American, I don't
know how to make tea.

674
00:27:33,965 --> 00:27:34,860
(CLINKING)

675
00:27:34,860 --> 00:27:35,860
Well done.

676
00:27:37,150 --> 00:27:38,719
Is this earthquake proof, though?

677
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:39,974
- Oh, totally.
- Okay.

678
00:27:39,975 --> 00:27:40,808
Totally.

679
00:27:40,809 --> 00:27:42,289
I am seriously impressed.

680
00:27:42,290 --> 00:27:44,629
It could use some art, though, you know?

681
00:27:44,630 --> 00:27:46,839
Well, what about that painter girl?

682
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:48,609
She's busy, trust me.

683
00:27:48,610 --> 00:27:49,929
How do you know?

684
00:27:49,930 --> 00:27:52,489
All right, so I was
traveling for like three months

685
00:27:52,490 --> 00:27:53,549
after we broke up, right,

686
00:27:53,550 --> 00:27:55,429
and I'm getting a little
bit lonely on the road.

687
00:27:55,430 --> 00:27:58,699
And so at an internet cafe in Ghana,

688
00:27:58,700 --> 00:28:01,409
I Facebook stalk her, right?

689
00:28:01,410 --> 00:28:04,869
I look on her profile, and
her picture is just just her

690
00:28:04,870 --> 00:28:07,809
but it's also this guy
with his arm around her,

691
00:28:07,810 --> 00:28:09,309
and looks nothing like me,

692
00:28:09,310 --> 00:28:11,363
but looks a lot like her dad.

693
00:28:12,383 --> 00:28:14,059
It was a little weird before I realized

694
00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:16,129
that actually this guy also lives

695
00:28:16,130 --> 00:28:18,599
in the same small town that
she was trying to escape from.

696
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,469
I find out from my mom
a couple months later

697
00:28:20,470 --> 00:28:22,259
that she's engaged,

698
00:28:22,260 --> 00:28:24,959
and I find out from my mom a
couple months later after that

699
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:26,049
that they're married,

700
00:28:26,050 --> 00:28:29,557
and a couple months after
that, nuclear family, you know?

701
00:28:30,434 --> 00:28:31,434
I didn't ask.

702
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,599
It must be kinda nice to
have some sort of stability.

703
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:36,829
You know, have a nice house,

704
00:28:36,830 --> 00:28:39,113
and maybe a trampoline in the backyard.

705
00:28:40,205 --> 00:28:41,205
Yeah.

706
00:28:42,740 --> 00:28:44,929
I mean, did she ever paint again?

707
00:28:44,930 --> 00:28:47,859
I checked the fan page that I made her,

708
00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:50,079
there wasn't another post.

709
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,019
Twitter, Instagram, same thing.

710
00:28:52,020 --> 00:28:54,099
And I googled everywhere to see if she'd

711
00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:55,409
done anything with her life at that point,

712
00:28:55,410 --> 00:28:58,043
but, like, no painting.

713
00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:01,840
Uh, but don't read into it.

714
00:29:02,910 --> 00:29:04,153
You know, it's...

715
00:29:05,515 --> 00:29:10,015
(CONTEMPLATIVE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC)

716
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:13,759
Bakery is next.

717
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,139
Uh, let's go to the kitchen.

718
00:29:15,140 --> 00:29:15,973
Let's do...

719
00:29:15,973 --> 00:29:16,973
Can we skip this one?

720
00:29:18,170 --> 00:29:19,199
Yeah.

721
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:20,090
Yeah, okay, yeah.

722
00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:21,483
Uh, then,

723
00:29:22,565 --> 00:29:23,565
yeah.

724
00:29:25,006 --> 00:29:25,839
Yeah.

725
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:29,589
(WARM ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC)

726
00:29:45,057 --> 00:29:49,960
(WHACKING) (GRUNTS)

727
00:29:49,961 --> 00:29:54,491
What was that? (CHUCKLES)

728
00:29:54,492 --> 00:29:56,033
(GRUNTS) Oh!

729
00:29:56,034 --> 00:29:58,284
(GROANING)

730
00:29:59,143 --> 00:30:02,153
You almost burnt my face
on the hot lava line.

731
00:30:02,154 --> 00:30:03,829
And you don't care, all right.

732
00:30:03,830 --> 00:30:05,530
You were clearly the school bully.

733
00:30:07,361 --> 00:30:09,329
When's the last time
you said you did this?

734
00:30:09,330 --> 00:30:11,041
I was 17.

735
00:30:11,042 --> 00:30:11,890
I was gonna quit earlier,

736
00:30:11,891 --> 00:30:14,273
but there was this cute
guy in class, Ethan.

737
00:30:14,274 --> 00:30:15,107
(CHUCKLES) Oh, okay.

738
00:30:15,108 --> 00:30:17,129
Cool, it's worth gettin' violent

739
00:30:17,130 --> 00:30:19,029
for an Ethan, right?

740
00:30:19,030 --> 00:30:20,409
Yeah, he went to a
different high school,

741
00:30:20,410 --> 00:30:22,652
and he had dreams, kind
of like your painter girl,

742
00:30:22,653 --> 00:30:24,839
except, you know, he went for his dreams.

743
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,819
He got into this prestigious
music school in Vienna.

744
00:30:27,820 --> 00:30:28,680
Okay.

745
00:30:28,681 --> 00:30:30,699
And, you know, I thought I loved him,

746
00:30:30,700 --> 00:30:33,810
so I was young, I let him go, you know.

747
00:30:35,150 --> 00:30:37,079
But I looked him on
Facebook four years later,

748
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,559
and turns out the last post he ever made

749
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:40,769
was three years before that.

750
00:30:40,770 --> 00:30:42,899
Ahh, okay, so he either ended up being

751
00:30:42,900 --> 00:30:45,049
a failed musician,

752
00:30:45,050 --> 00:30:47,189
or he turned out to be so successful

753
00:30:47,190 --> 00:30:48,979
that he's like fuck social media,

754
00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:51,739
I'm just gonna be my true artist self.

755
00:30:51,740 --> 00:30:52,940
Actually, he was dead.

756
00:30:55,190 --> 00:30:57,469
About six months after he moved,

757
00:30:57,470 --> 00:31:00,399
he was crossing the street
and got hit by a car.

758
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,169
That's fuckin' terrible.

759
00:31:02,170 --> 00:31:04,379
Look, it was three years ago,

760
00:31:04,380 --> 00:31:07,089
and we dated seven years ago, but...

761
00:31:07,090 --> 00:31:08,509
- Do you wanna just...
- What?

762
00:31:08,510 --> 00:31:09,887
It seems like a weird...

763
00:31:11,431 --> 00:31:13,478
What, what are you doing?

764
00:31:13,479 --> 00:31:16,219
(CHUCKLES)

765
00:31:16,220 --> 00:31:17,220
Okay.

766
00:31:18,077 --> 00:31:20,729
Actually, it was kind of
alleviated by the fact

767
00:31:20,730 --> 00:31:23,589
that it was a memorial tribute
from his Austrian girlfriend

768
00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:25,440
who he had been dating for two years.

769
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:28,873
Wait, like two years.

770
00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:34,709
She was an exchange
student at his high school.

771
00:31:34,710 --> 00:31:37,199
He'd been seeing me
and her at the same time.

772
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,209
I think she was probably the reason

773
00:31:38,210 --> 00:31:39,453
why he moved to Vienna.

774
00:31:41,778 --> 00:31:42,785
That's fuckin' awful.

775
00:31:42,786 --> 00:31:44,939
(WHACKS) (GRUNTING)

776
00:31:44,940 --> 00:31:46,599
Seriously.

777
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:47,530
Come on, get up.

778
00:31:47,530 --> 00:31:48,530
Got one more move.

779
00:31:56,159 --> 00:31:58,076
The hell are you doing?

780
00:31:59,370 --> 00:32:01,139
All right, if you don't know
what that is, then you win.

781
00:32:01,140 --> 00:32:02,549
(CHUCKLING) You win.

782
00:32:02,550 --> 00:32:04,122
No, no, no, hey, I'm kidding.

783
00:32:04,123 --> 00:32:06,249
It's the Karate Kid.

784
00:32:06,250 --> 00:32:07,250
Thank you.

785
00:32:08,738 --> 00:32:10,486
With Jane Smith.

786
00:32:10,487 --> 00:32:11,606
I'll ring your... (LAUGHS)

787
00:32:11,607 --> 00:32:15,190
(GRAND ORCHESTRATED MUSIC)

788
00:32:18,439 --> 00:32:21,467
(GRUNTING)

789
00:32:21,468 --> 00:32:23,718
(GRUNTING)

790
00:32:25,298 --> 00:32:28,832
It's like so easy in the YouTubes.

791
00:32:28,833 --> 00:32:30,817
Yes, yes, yes!

792
00:32:30,818 --> 00:32:32,187
- No!
- Yes, no, yes!

793
00:32:32,188 --> 00:32:33,639
(GRUNTING)

794
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,179
RYAN: Ready, circus superstar?

795
00:32:35,180 --> 00:32:37,799
I'm ready to be the star attraction.

796
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:39,406
One,

797
00:32:39,407 --> 00:32:40,849
two,

798
00:32:40,850 --> 00:32:41,720
three.

799
00:32:41,721 --> 00:32:43,124
(GRUNTING)

800
00:32:43,125 --> 00:32:44,206
(GRUNTS) Wait!

801
00:32:44,207 --> 00:32:45,110
(LAUGHING)

802
00:32:45,111 --> 00:32:46,193
You're Superwoman!

803
00:32:47,620 --> 00:32:49,135
What's it like up there?

804
00:32:49,136 --> 00:32:53,928
Feels amazing! (LAUGHS)

805
00:32:53,929 --> 00:32:55,916
(GIGGLES)

806
00:32:55,917 --> 00:32:56,867
(PHONE CHIRPS)

807
00:32:56,868 --> 00:32:58,496
Oh, oh! Oof!

808
00:32:58,497 --> 00:33:00,477
(GROANING)

809
00:33:00,478 --> 00:33:01,902
- You okay?
- I'm okay.

810
00:33:01,903 --> 00:33:03,070
You're okay.

811
00:33:05,227 --> 00:33:06,489
Ahh.

812
00:33:06,490 --> 00:33:07,854
It's a short career.

813
00:33:07,855 --> 00:33:10,105
(LAUGHING)

814
00:33:34,436 --> 00:33:35,475
Ow.

815
00:33:35,476 --> 00:33:37,893
(SNICKERING)

816
00:33:38,785 --> 00:33:40,554
You havin' a good time today?

817
00:33:40,555 --> 00:33:41,804
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I'm
having a great time.

818
00:33:41,805 --> 00:33:42,849
Good.

819
00:33:42,850 --> 00:33:44,569
So we're good then, right?

820
00:33:44,570 --> 00:33:46,259
We're doin' pretty good, you and me.

821
00:33:46,260 --> 00:33:47,260
- Mm.
- Mm.

822
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:51,300
Do you believe in polyamory?

823
00:33:52,310 --> 00:33:55,309
Uh, isn't that officially what we have?

824
00:33:55,310 --> 00:33:56,619
Um, we're not really official.

825
00:33:56,620 --> 00:33:58,199
Well, it's like technical, I mean...

826
00:33:58,200 --> 00:33:59,655
Are you dating anyone else?

827
00:33:59,656 --> 00:34:01,114
(CHUCKLES) Not that I know of.

828
00:34:01,115 --> 00:34:02,579
(CHUCKLING)

829
00:34:02,580 --> 00:34:04,189
Last time I checked, you
were lying next to me

830
00:34:04,190 --> 00:34:06,609
like six to seven nights a week.

831
00:34:06,610 --> 00:34:08,775
Are you dating anyone
while I'm sleeping or...

832
00:34:08,776 --> 00:34:09,707
Obviously I'm not.

833
00:34:09,708 --> 00:34:10,749
(CHUCKLING) Okay, good.

834
00:34:10,750 --> 00:34:12,759
All I'm saying that maybe what I had

835
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:14,453
with Ethan was polyamory.

836
00:34:16,254 --> 00:34:17,539
Well, it woulda been cool,

837
00:34:17,540 --> 00:34:18,932
but it would be nice
to have known about it.

838
00:34:18,933 --> 00:34:20,865
(LAUGHING) Yeah.

839
00:34:20,866 --> 00:34:21,886
Sounds like a cool idea.

840
00:34:21,887 --> 00:34:23,257
I think that's a prerequisite.

841
00:34:23,258 --> 00:34:25,909
(LAUGHS)

842
00:34:25,910 --> 00:34:27,199
I don't think, honestly,
at the end of the day,

843
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,033
people can share much of anything.

844
00:34:29,975 --> 00:34:31,549
What do you mean?

845
00:34:31,550 --> 00:34:36,299
Well, all right, so I went
to this commune in Spain

846
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:39,629
where they literally did
share everything, yeah?

847
00:34:39,630 --> 00:34:40,570
One of those intentional communities,

848
00:34:40,571 --> 00:34:43,289
and you share money and resources, and...

849
00:34:43,290 --> 00:34:44,123
Yeah.

850
00:34:44,123 --> 00:34:44,956
Why is that bad for you?

851
00:34:44,957 --> 00:34:47,409
I mean, it's all about
sustainability, right?

852
00:34:47,410 --> 00:34:50,081
Yeah, no, I didn't even
know what sustainability was.

853
00:34:50,082 --> 00:34:51,369
(CHUCKLES) until like three months ago,

854
00:34:51,370 --> 00:34:53,519
and I'm just saying that,
like, they lost a lot of people

855
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,169
because they couldn't hold onto 'em.

856
00:34:55,170 --> 00:34:57,629
Everybody wanted their
own stuff, you know?

857
00:34:57,630 --> 00:35:01,219
And in this day and age where
everything's about, you know,

858
00:35:01,220 --> 00:35:04,969
the white picket fence and
keeping up with the Joneses,

859
00:35:04,970 --> 00:35:07,799
there was this gal, her name was Indigo,

860
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,129
and she was my host.

861
00:35:09,130 --> 00:35:12,729
And at community dinners, we
would sit next to each other,

862
00:35:12,730 --> 00:35:15,499
and her leg was like
rubbing up against my leg,

863
00:35:15,500 --> 00:35:17,629
and I don't know, but she told me

864
00:35:17,630 --> 00:35:19,889
that I should meet her at
this building along the creek.

865
00:35:19,890 --> 00:35:22,439
So that night, I go and
I walk along the creek,

866
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,716
and there are signs there that say,

867
00:35:24,717 --> 00:35:27,194
"This way, Love Hut number seven."

868
00:35:27,195 --> 00:35:28,028
(CHUCKLING)

869
00:35:28,029 --> 00:35:30,159
So I'm like, okay.

870
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:35,160
So I get there, and there's
this guy waiting for me,

871
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,533
and he introduces himself
as Indigo's husband.

872
00:35:41,595 --> 00:35:43,379
- (SNICKERS) Yeah.
- What?

873
00:35:43,380 --> 00:35:45,659
And he's simply there with
a big bright smile on his face

874
00:35:45,660 --> 00:35:49,433
giving me instructions on
exactly how to please his wife.

875
00:35:50,420 --> 00:35:51,839
Because when I say they shared everything,

876
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,773
I mean, they literally,
like, shared everything?

877
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,829
Did you go through with it?

878
00:35:57,830 --> 00:35:59,011
Yeah.

879
00:35:59,012 --> 00:36:01,149
I mean, you know, like social obligation.

880
00:36:01,150 --> 00:36:02,550
And he gave me instructions.

881
00:36:03,660 --> 00:36:04,580
I just think at the end of the day,

882
00:36:04,581 --> 00:36:06,189
it's not good for the kids.

883
00:36:06,190 --> 00:36:07,209
Maybe it is good for those kids,

884
00:36:07,210 --> 00:36:08,889
but I grew up in a world where it's like

885
00:36:08,890 --> 00:36:10,409
one man, one woman,

886
00:36:10,410 --> 00:36:12,979
or I guess now it could be two
women or two men, you know.

887
00:36:12,980 --> 00:36:15,409
But they're in a committed relationship.

888
00:36:15,410 --> 00:36:16,330
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

889
00:36:16,331 --> 00:36:18,469
And Anything else kind of feels

890
00:36:18,470 --> 00:36:20,301
like they're lying to themselves.

891
00:36:20,302 --> 00:36:21,450
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

892
00:36:21,451 --> 00:36:22,330
I don't think I could be with a guy

893
00:36:22,331 --> 00:36:24,059
who's lying to himself anyway.

894
00:36:24,060 --> 00:36:25,060
Yeah.

895
00:36:28,051 --> 00:36:30,352
(DOOR SLAMS)

896
00:36:30,353 --> 00:36:31,186
(SNIFFS)

897
00:36:31,187 --> 00:36:33,186
(SIGHS)

898
00:36:35,662 --> 00:36:39,162
(PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES)

899
00:36:48,221 --> 00:36:50,804
(PHONE CHIRPS)

900
00:36:56,321 --> 00:36:58,904
(PHONE CHIRPS)

901
00:37:01,589 --> 00:37:02,689
LIZZIE: I want something viral.

902
00:37:02,690 --> 00:37:04,408
Something viral and edgy.

903
00:37:04,409 --> 00:37:05,409
What's edgy?

904
00:37:06,580 --> 00:37:07,949
The licking.

905
00:37:07,950 --> 00:37:10,209
RYAN: Oh, like sexy licking?

906
00:37:10,210 --> 00:37:11,409
- Yeah?
- It's different!

907
00:37:11,410 --> 00:37:12,243
- Yes, yes.
- Yeah.

908
00:37:12,244 --> 00:37:14,339
Yes, edgy, safe for work.

909
00:37:14,340 --> 00:37:16,279
Uh, good for kids but not really.

910
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:18,130
No, no, yeah, yeah, that's brilliant.

911
00:37:20,090 --> 00:37:21,046
I'm gonna take it off.
You ready?

912
00:37:21,047 --> 00:37:23,546
I'm gonna leave it on, okay.

913
00:37:28,798 --> 00:37:31,465
(BOTH LAUGHING)

914
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:34,799
Oh my God, I've already got two likes

915
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,402
on that Facebook video.

916
00:37:36,403 --> 00:37:37,390
(GASPS)

917
00:37:37,390 --> 00:37:38,380
Two, that's absolutely viral.

918
00:37:38,381 --> 00:37:40,099
Yeah, like 10 people
catch measles or something,

919
00:37:40,100 --> 00:37:41,740
then, yeah, that's like a virus.

920
00:37:41,741 --> 00:37:43,199
You win.

921
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:44,639
Three comments.

922
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:48,169
The first one says, "Lizzie
has started a meme!"

923
00:37:48,170 --> 00:37:49,610
There is no higher compliment.

924
00:37:49,611 --> 00:37:50,540
I know.

925
00:37:50,541 --> 00:37:52,296
Um, second one says,
"You should totally do it"

926
00:37:52,297 --> 00:37:53,297
"gonzo style."

927
00:37:54,220 --> 00:37:55,869
What's that, is he
referring to the Muppet?

928
00:37:55,870 --> 00:37:57,559
Like throw some chickens
at 'em or something,

929
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,389
but I think it means more like attack,

930
00:37:59,390 --> 00:38:01,323
like in-your-face type thing?

931
00:38:03,772 --> 00:38:05,359
Oh okay, the little cartoon pizza guy,

932
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:06,559
it says he's around the corner.

933
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:09,419
This is exactly like one
of those pornos, actually.

934
00:38:09,420 --> 00:38:11,309
You know like where the guy
shows up with the pizza.

935
00:38:11,310 --> 00:38:12,739
They're like, oh, I don't
have enough money to pay,

936
00:38:12,740 --> 00:38:14,070
- and you (MUMBLING)...
- Yeah.

937
00:38:14,071 --> 00:38:15,291
You haven't seen it, you're too young.

938
00:38:15,292 --> 00:38:17,239
I have seen it, I have seen it.

939
00:38:17,240 --> 00:38:18,240
It's vintage porn!

940
00:38:18,241 --> 00:38:20,899
You know what? No, I've got a better idea.

941
00:38:20,900 --> 00:38:21,733
He's here.

942
00:38:21,734 --> 00:38:23,049
He's gonna enter the door,
and I'm gonna try and get,

943
00:38:23,050 --> 00:38:24,979
you know, all sexy like
to get him to try and...

944
00:38:24,980 --> 00:38:26,302
Yeah, but we already said that.

945
00:38:26,303 --> 00:38:27,579
And you got to keep recording, okay?

946
00:38:27,580 --> 00:38:29,029
But he's gonna eat it, not me.

947
00:38:29,030 --> 00:38:30,849
We already did the plan, let's just go.

948
00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:32,007
No, why does everything have to be

949
00:38:32,008 --> 00:38:33,067
according to what you wanna do?

950
00:38:33,068 --> 00:38:35,409
Not everything has to be
according to your plan.

951
00:38:35,410 --> 00:38:36,739
Okay? Just follow along.

952
00:38:36,740 --> 00:38:39,006
Just record, and I'll do everything, okay?

953
00:38:39,007 --> 00:38:39,908
- Okay.
- Okay?

954
00:38:39,908 --> 00:38:40,847
- Okay.
- Ready?

955
00:38:40,848 --> 00:38:42,347
All right, yeah.

956
00:38:44,817 --> 00:38:45,777
Hey.

957
00:38:45,778 --> 00:38:47,086
Hey, Hell Pizza, how you goin'?

958
00:38:47,087 --> 00:38:48,939
Got a large cheese, large 'lux,

959
00:38:48,940 --> 00:38:50,333
and a salad for you guys.

960
00:38:52,770 --> 00:38:54,189
What's with the camera?

961
00:38:54,190 --> 00:38:56,934
Uh, we're doing a
documentary on pizza delivery.

962
00:38:56,935 --> 00:38:58,179
(CHUCKLES)

963
00:38:58,180 --> 00:38:59,180
Blake?

964
00:39:00,724 --> 00:39:01,724
Do I know you?

965
00:39:04,790 --> 00:39:06,840
Blake's the guy I lost my virginity to.

966
00:39:08,580 --> 00:39:10,209
Yup, we got drunk at a party,

967
00:39:10,210 --> 00:39:12,319
and we just did it on the bathroom floor,

968
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,243
and you got up and took off.

969
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:16,760
Uh...

970
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:17,593
No?

971
00:39:17,594 --> 00:39:19,099
You don't remember me,
you don't recognize me?

972
00:39:19,100 --> 00:39:20,100
No.

973
00:39:21,116 --> 00:39:22,030
Dude?

974
00:39:22,031 --> 00:39:24,569
I sent you this naked picture of myself.

975
00:39:24,570 --> 00:39:25,789
Next thing I know, it
gets emailed back to me

976
00:39:25,790 --> 00:39:27,399
by all my friends.

977
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,129
I heard that you were going
around bragging to everybody

978
00:39:29,130 --> 00:39:31,169
how you banged this random slut.

979
00:39:31,170 --> 00:39:32,439
Well, I used to drink a lot of piss

980
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:33,420
and do a lot of dumb shit,

981
00:39:33,421 --> 00:39:35,983
but can't apologize to everyone.

982
00:39:39,300 --> 00:39:40,419
Just, just,

983
00:39:40,420 --> 00:39:42,149
we're gonna pay for the pizza.

984
00:39:42,150 --> 00:39:43,150
How much is it?

985
00:39:43,985 --> 00:39:45,053
39.50.

986
00:40:00,140 --> 00:40:01,140
Hey.

987
00:40:06,110 --> 00:40:07,229
I'm really sorry back there.

988
00:40:07,230 --> 00:40:08,580
I shoulda stood up for you.

989
00:40:09,687 --> 00:40:11,786
I wanted to, you know, but...

990
00:40:11,787 --> 00:40:13,603
Okay, it was my fault.

991
00:40:14,606 --> 00:40:15,736
(CHUCKLES) It's not your fault.

992
00:40:15,737 --> 00:40:18,779
That guy's a douchebag, you know?

993
00:40:18,780 --> 00:40:21,529
And we're living in a world where people

994
00:40:21,530 --> 00:40:24,239
send random naked pictures to people,

995
00:40:24,240 --> 00:40:25,459
you know, that they barely know.

996
00:40:25,460 --> 00:40:28,399
I mean, it's, it's the age.

997
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:29,566
Yeah?

998
00:40:29,567 --> 00:40:32,482
Yeah, well, you've caught up
pretty quickly, haven't you?

999
00:40:32,483 --> 00:40:33,889
I mean, what's the difference?

1000
00:40:33,890 --> 00:40:35,396
We're taking pictures now.

1001
00:40:35,397 --> 00:40:38,143
I don't know if I can trust
you with these pictures.

1002
00:40:40,290 --> 00:40:41,290
Are you serious?

1003
00:40:42,770 --> 00:40:44,470
It's 'cause I fuckin' respect you.

1004
00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:47,240
I love you.

1005
00:40:49,565 --> 00:40:50,565
And you love me.

1006
00:40:51,540 --> 00:40:52,540
Right?

1007
00:40:54,660 --> 00:40:55,660
I love you.

1008
00:41:09,436 --> 00:41:11,379
(GASPS) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1009
00:41:11,380 --> 00:41:12,463
Oh, hey, shh.

1010
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:14,400
Jeez!

1011
00:41:15,456 --> 00:41:18,579
This is, it's just my
great grandmother's ring.

1012
00:41:18,580 --> 00:41:22,384
I'm just supposed to use it on someone,

1013
00:41:22,385 --> 00:41:25,909
(SIGHS) I'm just supposed
to be able to use it with,

1014
00:41:25,910 --> 00:41:29,740
I just want some kind
of commitment, you know.

1015
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:32,299
Like any kind, really.

1016
00:41:32,300 --> 00:41:34,119
We can go Facebook official.

1017
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:35,570
I don't wanna feel trapped.

1018
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:39,610
Yeah.

1019
00:41:39,610 --> 00:41:40,443
Yeah, yeah.

1020
00:41:40,444 --> 00:41:42,450
Yeah, that's, that's fine.

1021
00:41:42,451 --> 00:41:43,549
(DRAWER SHUTS)

1022
00:41:43,550 --> 00:41:44,440
I get it.

1023
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:45,360
Yeah, that's okay.

1024
00:41:45,361 --> 00:41:46,410
- That's good.
- Ryan.

1025
00:41:47,290 --> 00:41:48,263
Ryan!

1026
00:41:48,264 --> 00:41:50,039
I didn't mean what I meant, okay?

1027
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:51,499
Whatever we've had, it's been great,

1028
00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:53,719
and I don't see why we have to start

1029
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,299
labeling things now, right?

1030
00:41:55,300 --> 00:41:58,609
I mean, we're happy, aren't we?

1031
00:41:58,610 --> 00:41:59,928
I've had a great day.

1032
00:41:59,929 --> 00:42:02,519
(STAMMERS) Why can't it just be like this?

1033
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,483
What's, what is so wrong with that?

1034
00:42:08,140 --> 00:42:10,807
(KEYS CLICKING)

1035
00:42:16,940 --> 00:42:19,273
(DOG BARKS)

1036
00:42:20,479 --> 00:42:22,979
Are you even gonna look at me?

1037
00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:26,999
I think what we have
right now is wonderful.

1038
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,199
Okay, I... (PHONE CHIMES)

1039
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:30,779
I think the last six months have been

1040
00:42:30,780 --> 00:42:32,083
just beyond amazing.

1041
00:42:32,930 --> 00:42:34,579
I don't know where I'm
gonna be in the future,

1042
00:42:34,580 --> 00:42:36,439
I don't even know where I'm
gonna be in three weeks.

1043
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,669
Okay? (PHONE CHIMES)

1044
00:42:39,670 --> 00:42:41,307
I think what we have is fine.

1045
00:42:41,308 --> 00:42:43,891
(PHONE CHIMES)

1046
00:42:45,236 --> 00:42:47,819
(PHONE CHIMES)

1047
00:42:49,300 --> 00:42:51,883
(PHONE CHIMES)

1048
00:42:59,830 --> 00:43:00,880
It's over now anyway.

1049
00:43:02,929 --> 00:43:06,429
(PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES)

1050
00:43:08,916 --> 00:43:13,916
What? (PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES)

1051
00:43:26,410 --> 00:43:27,799
Would a guy trying to trap a girl

1052
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,719
spend 80% of his life savings

1053
00:43:29,720 --> 00:43:31,920
putting her on a solo
trip around the world?

1054
00:43:36,350 --> 00:43:37,350
Yes.

1055
00:43:38,810 --> 00:43:39,899
What?

1056
00:43:39,900 --> 00:43:40,900
Cancel it.

1057
00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:43,722
What?

1058
00:43:43,723 --> 00:43:44,849
No, no.

1059
00:43:44,850 --> 00:43:47,429
I'm not gonna cancel it.

1060
00:43:47,430 --> 00:43:50,080
This is like the ultimate
control right here, okay?

1061
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:52,519
I wanna go.

1062
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:53,899
I really, really wanna go, okay?

1063
00:43:53,900 --> 00:43:55,809
But I wanna do it my own way.

1064
00:43:55,810 --> 00:43:57,209
I wanna find my own way of getting there.

1065
00:43:57,210 --> 00:43:59,076
I don't need you to pay something for me.

1066
00:43:59,077 --> 00:44:00,929
I'll get money from my parents,

1067
00:44:00,930 --> 00:44:02,545
I'll put it on someone's credit card,

1068
00:44:02,546 --> 00:44:04,459
I'll do the crowd funding thing.

1069
00:44:04,460 --> 00:44:05,739
Fuck it, I'll do it if I have to,

1070
00:44:05,740 --> 00:44:06,989
but I'm gonna find my own way.

1071
00:44:06,990 --> 00:44:10,489
You already have a free ticket from me.

1072
00:44:10,490 --> 00:44:13,499
You have one from some
that you care about.

1073
00:44:13,500 --> 00:44:15,299
If you wanna pay me back,
you can pay me back.

1074
00:44:15,300 --> 00:44:16,133
If you don't wanna pay me back,

1075
00:44:16,134 --> 00:44:17,339
you don't have to pay me back.

1076
00:44:17,340 --> 00:44:20,969
I will cancel if you want me

1077
00:44:20,970 --> 00:44:25,949
to get rid of an opportunity
for you to see the world.

1078
00:44:25,950 --> 00:44:27,329
Is that what you really want?

1079
00:44:27,330 --> 00:44:28,563
It is a click away.

1080
00:44:29,510 --> 00:44:31,273
How long have you got to cancel it?

1081
00:44:32,290 --> 00:44:34,089
Uh, officially, it's two weeks

1082
00:44:34,090 --> 00:44:36,559
before you're supposed to
leave, like, to the dot.

1083
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:37,560
So that's

1084
00:44:39,810 --> 00:44:42,499
three hours and 22 minutes from now.

1085
00:44:42,500 --> 00:44:43,545
Okay.

1086
00:44:43,546 --> 00:44:46,979
Thank you so much for putting
me in this position, okay?

1087
00:44:46,980 --> 00:44:48,239
Has this whole day been a lie?

1088
00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:50,409
Has this been about you using this day

1089
00:44:50,410 --> 00:44:53,319
to try and get me to your level

1090
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:54,649
so that I'm in your life forever

1091
00:44:54,650 --> 00:44:56,829
with the whole open the
whole bakery thing, and...

1092
00:44:56,830 --> 00:44:58,079
You're a baker!

1093
00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:59,536
You like baking!

1094
00:44:59,537 --> 00:45:01,359
And the period track app, yeah?

1095
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:02,926
You're saying the whole no condom thing

1096
00:45:02,927 --> 00:45:03,837
and trying to get me pregnant?

1097
00:45:03,838 --> 00:45:05,009
You're trying to control my body, too?

1098
00:45:05,010 --> 00:45:06,896
I can't feel anything
with a condom, it's,

1099
00:45:06,897 --> 00:45:09,239
and I haven't felt anything in, ooh...

1100
00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:12,529
No, you're being controlling,
manipulative, and selfish.

1101
00:45:12,530 --> 00:45:14,979
And frankly, I don't what
I'm gonna say to you...

1102
00:45:14,980 --> 00:45:15,847
- I'm selfish, I'm selfish?
- Yeah, you're selfish.

1103
00:45:15,848 --> 00:45:17,199
I'm fucking selfish?

1104
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:20,689
I am the fucking Giving Tree.

1105
00:45:20,690 --> 00:45:22,158
Of course you don't know what that is.

1106
00:45:22,159 --> 00:45:24,169
Maybe you're like too
young or too Kiwi, okay?

1107
00:45:24,170 --> 00:45:25,379
But a fucking Giving Tree,

1108
00:45:25,380 --> 00:45:27,189
over here, this is a
little branch over here,

1109
00:45:27,190 --> 00:45:28,499
when you date too many douchebags,

1110
00:45:28,500 --> 00:45:30,278
I shade you from it, right?

1111
00:45:30,279 --> 00:45:32,329
And underneath it, you want your freedom.

1112
00:45:32,330 --> 00:45:34,939
I go ahead and give you another branch.

1113
00:45:34,940 --> 00:45:37,529
And then you wanna leave me forever

1114
00:45:37,530 --> 00:45:39,223
in two fucking weeks?

1115
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:41,879
You're just like a woodpecker.

1116
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:45,049
Just peck, peck, peck, peck,
peck, peck, peck, peck, peck,

1117
00:45:45,050 --> 00:45:46,967
peck, peck, peck, peck!

1118
00:45:47,890 --> 00:45:49,719
You think I'm trying to control you?

1119
00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:52,963
I would give you, and I
do give you, everything.

1120
00:45:56,871 --> 00:45:59,621
(DOORBELL RINGS)

1121
00:46:02,783 --> 00:46:06,009
(LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC)

1122
00:46:06,010 --> 00:46:07,444
Hey, beautiful.

1123
00:46:07,445 --> 00:46:08,599
(LAUGHING)

1124
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,289
Congratulations!

1125
00:46:10,290 --> 00:46:11,499
Oh, I'm gonna miss you so much,

1126
00:46:11,500 --> 00:46:13,289
but honestly, that was my bad anyway.

1127
00:46:13,290 --> 00:46:14,449
LIZZIE: Angie, you came here for,

1128
00:46:14,450 --> 00:46:16,473
but that was like three minutes ago.

1129
00:46:17,580 --> 00:46:19,829
No, I just saw the
trip post on my way here.

1130
00:46:19,830 --> 00:46:22,830
I came for fantasy day 'cause of the trip.

1131
00:46:22,831 --> 00:46:25,189
Maybe I shouldn't have sent that, we...

1132
00:46:25,190 --> 00:46:26,699
Once in a life time opportunity,

1133
00:46:26,700 --> 00:46:27,979
Lizzie Conley is living out

1134
00:46:27,980 --> 00:46:30,059
all her life's fantasies in one day!

1135
00:46:30,060 --> 00:46:32,372
Yeah, but maybe just the two of us.

1136
00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:34,010
Guess who she wants to
help round out the list.

1137
00:46:34,011 --> 00:46:35,759
13 Green Lane, see you soon.

1138
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,559
I wrote back, but you never replied, so,

1139
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:39,960
what am I here to help with?

1140
00:46:44,082 --> 00:46:44,961
What?

1141
00:46:44,962 --> 00:46:46,829
LIZZIE: That one
wasn't my idea, I swear.

1142
00:46:46,830 --> 00:46:47,663
Look, he's just a...

1143
00:46:47,664 --> 00:46:51,830
What, are we back at uni now? (CHUCKLES)

1144
00:46:51,831 --> 00:46:53,089
(ANGIE SIGHS)

1145
00:46:53,090 --> 00:46:54,469
Fucking guys.

1146
00:46:54,470 --> 00:46:56,320
I mean, why would he even think that?

1147
00:47:00,890 --> 00:47:01,890
Lizzie?

1148
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:07,969
Okay, just a few times, okay?

1149
00:47:07,970 --> 00:47:12,970
Maybe we fantasize about other girls,

1150
00:47:13,270 --> 00:47:16,489
and we randomly come
across somebody's profile...

1151
00:47:16,490 --> 00:47:17,543
Like my profile?

1152
00:47:20,010 --> 00:47:21,639
Yup.

1153
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:22,640
Um,

1154
00:47:23,710 --> 00:47:25,089
Lizzie,

1155
00:47:25,090 --> 00:47:26,090
that's...

1156
00:47:27,168 --> 00:47:28,489
(CHUCKLES)

1157
00:47:28,490 --> 00:47:29,490
Awesome.

1158
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:33,839
(LAUGHS)

1159
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:35,733
I mean, why do you do that?

1160
00:47:36,780 --> 00:47:39,830
Um, Jesus, 'cause you're a goddess.

1161
00:47:39,831 --> 00:47:42,539
Like you do the Bali
street clean ups with kids,

1162
00:47:42,540 --> 00:47:45,239
and you do triathlons and seminars and...

1163
00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:46,509
Oh, that reminds me,

1164
00:47:46,510 --> 00:47:48,069
I'm totally behind on
my squirting workshop.

1165
00:47:48,070 --> 00:47:49,620
That's what I mean, you just,

1166
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,241
squirting's real?

1167
00:47:52,242 --> 00:47:53,242
Ah.

1168
00:47:54,530 --> 00:47:55,530
Mm-hmm.

1169
00:47:56,900 --> 00:47:58,389
I mean, you know,

1170
00:47:58,390 --> 00:48:01,513
why do you do that with girls in general?

1171
00:48:03,330 --> 00:48:04,379
I don't know.

1172
00:48:04,380 --> 00:48:07,189
Keeps it light, and I
think he might be open

1173
00:48:07,190 --> 00:48:09,279
to other possibilities, so...

1174
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:11,559
But you're keeping your
options open, too, right?

1175
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:12,660
I mean, with the trip?

1176
00:48:16,722 --> 00:48:17,722
No.

1177
00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:21,009
My mom keeps sending me these articles

1178
00:48:21,010 --> 00:48:22,539
on my chronic indecisiveness

1179
00:48:22,540 --> 00:48:23,989
and that it's a sign of depression.

1180
00:48:23,990 --> 00:48:26,099
Well, then that's an epidemic.

1181
00:48:26,100 --> 00:48:27,929
I was watching this
Ted Talk the other day,

1182
00:48:27,930 --> 00:48:30,689
and it was talking about tech and mobile

1183
00:48:30,690 --> 00:48:32,589
and all these options that are open to us,

1184
00:48:32,590 --> 00:48:36,059
and with everything out
there, we just freeze.

1185
00:48:36,060 --> 00:48:39,143
You know, it's like paradox of choice.

1186
00:48:40,210 --> 00:48:41,210
Hm.

1187
00:48:42,818 --> 00:48:43,651
(SIGHS)

1188
00:48:43,652 --> 00:48:44,919
Tell you what,

1189
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:49,920
you can choose not to sexually explore me.

1190
00:48:50,478 --> 00:48:51,919
(CHUCKLES) Thanks.

1191
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:54,193
You know, unless you want to.

1192
00:48:55,349 --> 00:48:56,229
What?

1193
00:48:56,229 --> 00:48:57,062
Angie! (LAUGHS)

1194
00:48:57,063 --> 00:49:01,089
You're the one who's always
posting those YOLO memes.

1195
00:49:01,090 --> 00:49:03,369
Potentially, I could be interested

1196
00:49:03,370 --> 00:49:07,940
in a little bit of real
life, you-only-live-once,

1197
00:49:09,370 --> 00:49:10,370
real YOLO.

1198
00:49:11,918 --> 00:49:14,389
(COY GUITAR MUSIC)

1199
00:49:14,390 --> 00:49:16,889
Finally having the chance
to get it on with Lizzie,

1200
00:49:16,890 --> 00:49:19,519
I mean, you know, because girls...

1201
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:20,353
We're so shy.

1202
00:49:20,354 --> 00:49:23,053
Yeah, we're not aggressive like men.

1203
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:25,999
We think we know what we want, but...

1204
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:27,399
We just need a little guidance.

1205
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:29,119
- A push.
- Yeah.

1206
00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:31,889
Men, they have that
objective brain, you know.

1207
00:49:31,890 --> 00:49:33,759
They can see the big picture.

1208
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,193
Well, I mean, I would
never say that exactly.

1209
00:49:37,448 --> 00:49:38,281
Yep.

1210
00:49:38,281 --> 00:49:39,240
So when this opportunity came up

1211
00:49:39,241 --> 00:49:40,869
in the six years that
we've known each other,

1212
00:49:40,870 --> 00:49:42,312
it was like...
Yeah, it was like-

1213
00:49:42,313 --> 00:49:44,628
- RYAN: Like had that hesitation before.

1214
00:49:44,629 --> 00:49:45,462
BOTH: Right.

1215
00:49:45,463 --> 00:49:49,309
But then after a while, it's
like, what's the big deal?

1216
00:49:49,310 --> 00:49:50,459
But do you remember the fantasy,

1217
00:49:50,460 --> 00:49:51,659
it wasn't about me and Angie,

1218
00:49:51,660 --> 00:49:54,263
it was about you and me
doing something with Angie.

1219
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:57,139
Yeah.

1220
00:49:57,140 --> 00:49:58,339
I just thought it would be a way

1221
00:49:58,340 --> 00:50:00,989
for you and I to connect
a little bit more.

1222
00:50:00,990 --> 00:50:02,159
How?

1223
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,179
I mean, great.

1224
00:50:04,180 --> 00:50:05,180
But, I mean, I don't...

1225
00:50:05,181 --> 00:50:08,609
Well, it's about new
experiences for you and me,

1226
00:50:08,610 --> 00:50:10,159
and it's not just you teaching me.

1227
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,243
No offense.

1228
00:50:12,677 --> 00:50:14,843
(SCOFFS) I don't think he wants to.

1229
00:50:15,790 --> 00:50:18,129
No, I'm up for learning new things.

1230
00:50:18,130 --> 00:50:19,225
Yeah?

1231
00:50:19,226 --> 00:50:20,226
Then come on in.

1232
00:50:21,666 --> 00:50:22,499
Yeah?

1233
00:50:22,499 --> 00:50:23,499
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
- Mm.

1234
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:25,393
Okay!

1235
00:50:25,394 --> 00:50:27,621
(LAUGHING)

1236
00:50:29,780 --> 00:50:30,780
All right.

1237
00:50:33,319 --> 00:50:35,319
(SIGHS)

1238
00:50:36,460 --> 00:50:37,293
Uh...

1239
00:50:37,293 --> 00:50:38,126
Got the lube?

1240
00:50:38,127 --> 00:50:39,412
You know me.

1241
00:50:39,413 --> 00:50:41,839
Uh, Lizzie actually
never really needs that.

1242
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:42,820
- So...
- Oh.

1243
00:50:42,820 --> 00:50:43,820
You will.

1244
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:47,409
Wait, what, what're we doing?

1245
00:50:47,410 --> 00:50:49,649
LIZZIE: Sexual exploration.

1246
00:50:49,650 --> 00:50:51,639
Oh, wait, this is Ryan
we're talking about.

1247
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:53,440
He's already had a prostate massage.

1248
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:55,529
No.

1249
00:50:55,530 --> 00:50:57,763
Oh. Well, then take 'em off.

1250
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:00,869
I don't need that.

1251
00:51:00,870 --> 00:51:02,403
How do you know unless you try?

1252
00:51:04,190 --> 00:51:06,369
We're really happy with what we have.

1253
00:51:06,370 --> 00:51:07,203
Right, honey?

1254
00:51:07,204 --> 00:51:09,929
It's A plus, like, 100%.

1255
00:51:09,930 --> 00:51:12,139
Yeah, but Angie was
reading in this Vice article

1256
00:51:12,140 --> 00:51:14,449
that the prostate is the male G-spot

1257
00:51:14,450 --> 00:51:17,547
and the massage is the new blowjob, so...

1258
00:51:19,730 --> 00:51:20,779
'Kay.

1259
00:51:20,780 --> 00:51:22,083
The last time somebody,

1260
00:51:23,842 --> 00:51:27,523
it was my doctor checking for tumors.

1261
00:51:28,530 --> 00:51:30,969
And it didn't feel like a blowjob.

1262
00:51:30,970 --> 00:51:32,519
At all.

1263
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:35,259
He probably just didn't read
the same article, you know?

1264
00:51:35,260 --> 00:51:38,729
Look, I think I can
remember all the details.

1265
00:51:38,730 --> 00:51:40,409
I'll just run Lizzie through it,

1266
00:51:40,410 --> 00:51:43,229
and then you guys can
explore each other together.

1267
00:51:43,230 --> 00:51:44,230
Right?

1268
00:51:47,401 --> 00:51:49,060
RYAN: Is that what you want?

1269
00:51:49,061 --> 00:51:50,061
Yeah.

1270
00:51:58,570 --> 00:52:01,008
(LAUGHING)

1271
00:52:01,009 --> 00:52:01,842
No.

1272
00:52:01,842 --> 00:52:02,831
Oh, no.

1273
00:52:02,832 --> 00:52:05,081
(LAUGHING) Oh, no, it's so mean!

1274
00:52:05,082 --> 00:52:06,512
That's what you get
for trying to put me on

1275
00:52:06,513 --> 00:52:08,839
into fucking my friend, asshole!

1276
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:12,193
I'm sorry, I was honestly
just trying to, like,

1277
00:52:13,230 --> 00:52:15,089
be an idiot, I guess, but...
Mmhmm.

1278
00:52:15,090 --> 00:52:16,129
RYAN: Oh, man.

1279
00:52:16,130 --> 00:52:17,489
I woulda done it, too.

1280
00:52:17,490 --> 00:52:18,649
I swear, I really woulda done it.

1281
00:52:18,650 --> 00:52:21,699
That was abundantly clear.
(ANGIE LAUGHS)

1282
00:52:21,700 --> 00:52:22,979
Well, I'll send Lizzie the article,

1283
00:52:22,980 --> 00:52:24,589
and she can teach people

1284
00:52:24,590 --> 00:52:26,319
all around the world
on her trip, you know?

1285
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:27,638
Cultural exchange.

1286
00:52:27,639 --> 00:52:29,589
(RYAN CHUCKLES)

1287
00:52:29,590 --> 00:52:31,493
You're still going on your trip, right?

1288
00:52:33,060 --> 00:52:36,180
You're not stickin' around for this guy.

1289
00:52:36,181 --> 00:52:37,869
(RYAN CHUCKLES)

1290
00:52:37,870 --> 00:52:40,020
I mean, that list, it's
not even about you.

1291
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:44,649
Hey, I, I love her.

1292
00:52:44,650 --> 00:52:45,650
Yeah, so?

1293
00:52:48,660 --> 00:52:53,284
(CONTEMPLATIVE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC)

1294
00:52:53,285 --> 00:52:55,472
(DOOR SLAMS)

1295
00:52:55,473 --> 00:52:57,189
RYAN: Because if you love someone,

1296
00:52:57,190 --> 00:52:59,859
you want their life to be
as full as yours was, right?

1297
00:52:59,860 --> 00:53:01,599
I mean, it's only reasonable.

1298
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:03,476
Why are you trying to reason everything?

1299
00:53:03,477 --> 00:53:05,159
Everything has to be reason, facts,

1300
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:07,256
logic, statistics, that sort of thing,

1301
00:53:07,257 --> 00:53:09,619
and love shouldn't ever
have to be about that.

1302
00:53:09,620 --> 00:53:10,719
No, I'm not trying to do that.

1303
00:53:10,720 --> 00:53:12,619
No, I mean, I don't know.

1304
00:53:12,620 --> 00:53:14,529
I mean, there's a lot of
science to it, though, right?

1305
00:53:14,530 --> 00:53:16,049
Aren't you supposed to
figure out relationships?

1306
00:53:16,050 --> 00:53:18,227
Isn't that what relationships are about?

1307
00:53:19,100 --> 00:53:21,529
Okay, well, let's say, um,

1308
00:53:21,530 --> 00:53:22,679
let's say you have a couple.

1309
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:25,199
They've been together their whole lives.

1310
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,969
Both of them have been completely
unfaithful to each other,

1311
00:53:27,970 --> 00:53:30,924
and the other person is not aware of this.

1312
00:53:30,925 --> 00:53:31,758
Okay.

1313
00:53:31,759 --> 00:53:33,309
They live our their
whole lives together.

1314
00:53:33,310 --> 00:53:36,779
Kids, grandkids, and die happily.

1315
00:53:36,780 --> 00:53:38,779
I mean, is that reasonable?

1316
00:53:38,780 --> 00:53:39,640
No, no, no.

1317
00:53:39,641 --> 00:53:42,779
'Cause if you start a
relationship on a basis of lies,

1318
00:53:42,780 --> 00:53:45,373
then it's not a real relationship.

1319
00:53:47,330 --> 00:53:48,585
Okay.

1320
00:53:48,586 --> 00:53:49,586
Okay.

1321
00:53:51,786 --> 00:53:54,703
(ERASER SHUFFLING)

1322
00:53:57,390 --> 00:53:58,307
So we have...

1323
00:53:58,308 --> 00:54:01,549
(MARKER TAPPING)

1324
00:54:01,550 --> 00:54:02,613
Happy couple.

1325
00:54:02,614 --> 00:54:05,364
(MARKER TAPPING)

1326
00:54:07,430 --> 00:54:12,009
Uh, happiness plus millions of lies,

1327
00:54:12,010 --> 00:54:13,633
divided by no breakup,

1328
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:16,123
equals,

1329
00:54:19,150 --> 00:54:20,489
but it's not...

1330
00:54:20,490 --> 00:54:21,609
So these guys don't break up

1331
00:54:21,610 --> 00:54:24,283
because of the millions of lies.

1332
00:54:26,066 --> 00:54:28,816
(MARKER TAPPING)

1333
00:54:41,525 --> 00:54:44,013
You realize what just happened, right?

1334
00:54:44,014 --> 00:54:45,283
You just kicked my ass.

1335
00:54:46,300 --> 00:54:47,600
For the second time today.

1336
00:54:48,490 --> 00:54:51,889
I mean, I guess my degree was useful.

1337
00:54:51,890 --> 00:54:52,993
Yeah, check it off.

1338
00:54:53,885 --> 00:54:54,885
Okay.

1339
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:57,440
Oh, look.

1340
00:55:03,741 --> 00:55:07,009
(MARKER TOP CLICKS)

1341
00:55:07,010 --> 00:55:07,843
Is this what you wanted?

1342
00:55:07,844 --> 00:55:10,629
For me to win this
argument or this debate?

1343
00:55:10,630 --> 00:55:12,349
It's cool when you win arguments.

1344
00:55:12,350 --> 00:55:15,109
But, no, that's not,
I'm not living to win,

1345
00:55:15,110 --> 00:55:16,199
or to have you win or anything.

1346
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:18,562
I want something good, you know?

1347
00:55:18,563 --> 00:55:20,389
I just don't want to fight, that's all.

1348
00:55:20,390 --> 00:55:22,079
I mean, I come from, you know, my parents,

1349
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:23,209
they were high school sweethearts,

1350
00:55:23,210 --> 00:55:24,309
and now they hate each other

1351
00:55:24,310 --> 00:55:26,009
because they just keep fighting
and fighting and fighting,

1352
00:55:26,010 --> 00:55:28,129
and my dad keeps on wining,
and I hate watching that.

1353
00:55:28,130 --> 00:55:29,199
I don't wanna win.

1354
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,033
Don't wanna win.

1355
00:55:30,034 --> 00:55:31,169
Yeah.

1356
00:55:31,170 --> 00:55:32,003
Mm, ha ha.

1357
00:55:32,004 --> 00:55:33,563
So what do you want to do?

1358
00:55:35,933 --> 00:55:38,279
How much time do we have?

1359
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:40,043
Till the, yeah, um,

1360
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:41,880
let's see.

1361
00:55:43,514 --> 00:55:44,899
(SIGHS)

1362
00:55:44,900 --> 00:55:46,463
An hour and 38 minutes.

1363
00:55:47,543 --> 00:55:48,543
Okay.

1364
00:55:49,670 --> 00:55:51,749
Well, if you want to be real scientific

1365
00:55:51,750 --> 00:55:53,819
about this whole thing,

1366
00:55:53,820 --> 00:55:56,139
I read an article about
how if you ask each other

1367
00:55:56,140 --> 00:55:57,169
36 questions,

1368
00:55:57,170 --> 00:55:58,479
and then by the end of
it, you're apparently...

1369
00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:00,979
Oh, you're supposed to be
falling in love at the end.

1370
00:56:00,980 --> 00:56:02,761
And you're supposed to,

1371
00:56:02,762 --> 00:56:04,019
you're supposed to stare
in each other's eyes

1372
00:56:04,020 --> 00:56:05,451
for a few minutes.

1373
00:56:05,452 --> 00:56:06,491
We can do that.

1374
00:56:06,492 --> 00:56:07,325
(RYAN STAMMERS)

1375
00:56:07,326 --> 00:56:08,639
I'm starving, though.

1376
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:11,659
Okay, um, we have pizza from Blake.

1377
00:56:11,660 --> 00:56:12,650
Mm. (RYAN CHUCKLES)

1378
00:56:12,651 --> 00:56:13,779
Can we bake some cookies?

1379
00:56:13,780 --> 00:56:15,079
Yes, totally, bake cookies?

1380
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:16,651
Yeah.

1381
00:56:16,652 --> 00:56:17,652
All right.

1382
00:56:19,420 --> 00:56:22,869
Uh, start off with this,

1383
00:56:22,870 --> 00:56:26,231
and we got butter...
Ryan, pick up the phone.

1384
00:56:26,232 --> 00:56:27,561
- Okay.
- Ryan...

1385
00:56:27,562 --> 00:56:28,929
- Is that your dad?
- Pick up the phone.

1386
00:56:28,930 --> 00:56:30,459
Yeah, but he calls me all the time, so...

1387
00:56:30,460 --> 00:56:32,549
It's okay, you haven't
spoke to him in like a month.

1388
00:56:32,550 --> 00:56:33,383
It's fine.

1389
00:56:33,383 --> 00:56:34,237
- You're sure?
- Yeah.

1390
00:56:34,238 --> 00:56:37,209
Just like two minutes just
to get rid of him, okay?

1391
00:56:37,210 --> 00:56:39,649
All right, there's some like
baking stuff over there.

1392
00:56:39,650 --> 00:56:42,147
DAD: Ryan, pick up the phone.

1393
00:56:50,631 --> 00:56:52,089
(BAG POPS)

1394
00:56:52,090 --> 00:56:54,173
(COUGHS)

1395
00:56:55,751 --> 00:56:56,601
(SIGHS)

1396
00:56:56,602 --> 00:56:59,351
Just add egg and vegetable oil.

1397
00:57:01,012 --> 00:57:03,119
(PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES)

1398
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:05,120
(SIGHS)

1399
00:57:12,260 --> 00:57:14,371
(SIGHS)

1400
00:57:14,372 --> 00:57:15,539
Vegetable oil.

1401
00:57:18,121 --> 00:57:20,089
You know what's goin'
on with your nephews?

1402
00:57:20,090 --> 00:57:22,499
One of them has size 12 shoe,

1403
00:57:22,500 --> 00:57:26,169
and he's probably now
about five foot seven.

1404
00:57:26,170 --> 00:57:28,669
You got a mother and father who are aging,

1405
00:57:28,670 --> 00:57:32,062
a family that you have
become estranged from,

1406
00:57:32,063 --> 00:57:34,849
because you're not there for the weddings,

1407
00:57:34,850 --> 00:57:38,449
for the funerals, for the Thanksgiving,

1408
00:57:38,450 --> 00:57:39,759
the other holidays.

1409
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:41,743
You're just, like, out of it.

1410
00:57:45,372 --> 00:57:47,017
Okay, add eggs and,

1411
00:57:49,950 --> 00:57:50,950
vegetable oil.

1412
00:57:52,604 --> 00:57:53,604
But...

1413
00:57:56,644 --> 00:57:57,524
(BANGING)

1414
00:57:57,524 --> 00:57:58,524
Fuck.

1415
00:58:03,644 --> 00:58:05,102
(SNIFFLES)

1416
00:58:05,103 --> 00:58:06,191
RYAN'S DAD: You're
not making any money,

1417
00:58:06,192 --> 00:58:07,382
you're putting in all these hours.

1418
00:58:07,383 --> 00:58:09,679
Over here, you'd get a decent job,

1419
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:10,752
and do whatever you want.
(LIZZIE BANGING)

1420
00:58:10,753 --> 00:58:12,602
America is a land of opportunity.

1421
00:58:12,603 --> 00:58:14,119
- Hey, hey, hey.
- I've got a pool.

1422
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:14,953
RYAN'S DAD: I've got a spa.

1423
00:58:14,954 --> 00:58:16,779
I got him on mute, don't worry.

1424
00:58:16,780 --> 00:58:17,799
What are you using this stuff for?

1425
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:19,359
This is Jono's shit.

1426
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:20,509
RYAN'S DAD: I have a barbecue.

1427
00:58:20,510 --> 00:58:22,739
Baking stuff is over here, okay?

1428
00:58:22,740 --> 00:58:23,573
I'll get it for you.

1429
00:58:23,574 --> 00:58:25,139
In our backyard.

1430
00:58:25,140 --> 00:58:26,849
Oh, yeah, I got a new Porsche.

1431
00:58:26,850 --> 00:58:28,989
It not only has tushy warmers,

1432
00:58:28,990 --> 00:58:31,169
it has tushy coolers.

1433
00:58:31,170 --> 00:58:34,799
This one on a hot day, you
put on the tushy cooler,

1434
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:37,019
and it circulates cold air

1435
00:58:37,020 --> 00:58:40,109
so you don't get that
clammy feeling on your seat.

1436
00:58:40,110 --> 00:58:41,429
It looks like my butt's gonna be clammy

1437
00:58:41,430 --> 00:58:42,430
for a while, Dad.

1438
00:58:43,601 --> 00:58:45,699
RYAN'S DAD: Do you
have a car over there?

1439
00:58:45,700 --> 00:58:47,259
No, I take the bus, Dad.

1440
00:58:47,260 --> 00:58:49,079
But a lot of people take the bus,

1441
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:52,249
but what I mean is, like,
I'm establishing myself here.

1442
00:58:52,250 --> 00:58:54,849
Like, I'm making something of myself,

1443
00:58:54,850 --> 00:58:57,834
and I'm spending a lot
of time with Lizzie, so...

1444
00:58:57,835 --> 00:59:00,083
RYAN'S DAD: I don't
know anything about her.

1445
00:59:00,084 --> 00:59:04,239
Dad, I tell you about
her all the time, you know?

1446
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:05,729
She's awesome.

1447
00:59:05,730 --> 00:59:08,579
And I support her, you know?

1448
00:59:08,580 --> 00:59:09,915
100%.

1449
00:59:09,916 --> 00:59:11,329
RYAN'S DAD: What do
you mean you support her?

1450
00:59:11,330 --> 00:59:12,819
You mean you're being supportive of her,

1451
00:59:12,820 --> 00:59:14,579
you're not supporting her, God forbid.

1452
00:59:14,580 --> 00:59:16,963
No, Dad, I would never do that, okay?

1453
00:59:18,033 --> 00:59:19,766
I mean, I would of course do that

1454
00:59:19,767 --> 00:59:21,519
if I'm in a more financially...

1455
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:23,153
RYAN'S DAD: What'd
she go to school for?

1456
00:59:24,904 --> 00:59:26,209
Philosophy.

1457
00:59:26,210 --> 00:59:27,180
Philosophy?

1458
00:59:27,181 --> 00:59:28,452
That's for people who
can't make up their mind

1459
00:59:28,453 --> 00:59:29,899
what they wanna do.

1460
00:59:29,900 --> 00:59:31,529
Why didn't she major like in business

1461
00:59:31,530 --> 00:59:33,629
so she can make a living to support you

1462
00:59:33,630 --> 00:59:36,289
because I'm not sure you'll
be able to support yourself.

1463
00:59:36,290 --> 00:59:37,462
You think she's doin', like,

1464
00:59:37,463 --> 00:59:39,233
what the Russian brides do?

1465
00:59:42,215 --> 00:59:43,619
RYAN: Dad, what're you talkin' about?

1466
00:59:43,620 --> 00:59:45,209
RYAN'S DAD: They put ads in the paper,

1467
00:59:45,210 --> 00:59:46,989
they put ads on the internet,

1468
00:59:46,990 --> 00:59:49,769
and they come over as a Russian bride,

1469
00:59:49,770 --> 00:59:50,999
and they're just the
sweetest things in the world

1470
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:52,939
and they do everything for you

1471
00:59:52,940 --> 00:59:54,816
'cause they want the Green Card.

1472
00:59:54,817 --> 00:59:56,789
I think she's got higher
aspirations than that, Dad.

1473
00:59:56,790 --> 00:59:59,219
Yeah, she's a pretty mean baker.

1474
00:59:59,220 --> 01:00:00,489
RYAN'S DAD: If she
wants to bake, she can bake

1475
01:00:00,490 --> 01:00:01,740
cookies for her children.

1476
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:05,120
Uh,

1477
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:06,879
maybe.

1478
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:10,049
What do you have in common
with the girls in New Zealand?

1479
01:00:10,050 --> 01:00:10,883
Nothing.

1480
01:00:10,884 --> 01:00:13,309
Maybe there's a Lizzie over here.

1481
01:00:13,310 --> 01:00:15,099
A good old American Lizzie.

1482
01:00:15,100 --> 01:00:16,100
Dad, come on.

1483
01:00:17,150 --> 01:00:20,433
I don't think we're gonna
find another Lizzie anywhere.

1484
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:23,420
What about that Jessica girl,

1485
01:00:23,421 --> 01:00:25,643
the one you were with when
you were here last time?

1486
01:00:26,750 --> 01:00:27,583
Dad.

1487
01:00:27,584 --> 01:00:28,999
RYAN'S DAD: We went to buy
new furniture for a house.

1488
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,479
- Dad.
- Lo and behold...

1489
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:31,919
Dad, Dad, Dad, I got to go, okay?

1490
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:33,999
But I wanna let you know
that it's time for you

1491
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,509
to start showing some
respect for me, okay?

1492
01:00:36,510 --> 01:00:40,219
I'm really establishing myself
out here in the tech world.

1493
01:00:40,220 --> 01:00:41,053
Okay?

1494
01:00:41,054 --> 01:00:42,429
RYAN'S DAD: You're
not even on Instagram.

1495
01:00:42,430 --> 01:00:44,230
Everybody's on Instagram except you.

1496
01:00:46,361 --> 01:00:49,028
(BIRD CHIRPING)

1497
01:01:13,473 --> 01:01:16,640
(BAG CONTENTS RATTLE)

1498
01:01:24,871 --> 01:01:29,288
(WARM, CONTEMPLATIVE ACOUSTIC MUSIC)

1499
01:01:37,321 --> 01:01:40,459
♪ Sunset in the bedroom ♪

1500
01:01:40,460 --> 01:01:43,549
♪ My camera in my hand ♪

1501
01:01:43,550 --> 01:01:48,550
♪ And she's strikin' poses again ♪

1502
01:01:49,881 --> 01:01:52,908
♪ I can't seem to focus ♪

1503
01:01:52,909 --> 01:01:56,006
♪ And she keeps lookin' away ♪

1504
01:01:56,007 --> 01:02:01,007
♪ I'm not sure how much more we can take ♪

1505
01:02:02,260 --> 01:02:05,927
♪ We're almost out of light ♪

1506
01:02:08,681 --> 01:02:13,299
♪ All alone, I fight ♪
(CHUCKLING)

1507
01:02:13,300 --> 01:02:15,030
(GASPING)

1508
01:02:15,031 --> 01:02:18,614
Ooh! ♪ All alone, I fight ♪

1509
01:02:21,420 --> 01:02:22,289
LIZZIE: Mm.

1510
01:02:22,290 --> 01:02:27,289
♪ For it used to come easy ♪
(RYAN MUMBLES AND CHUCKLES)

1511
01:02:27,930 --> 01:02:29,509
Uh, first one.

1512
01:02:29,510 --> 01:02:30,529
Pfft, easy.

1513
01:02:30,530 --> 01:02:33,129
If you could have any super
power, what would it be?

1514
01:02:33,130 --> 01:02:34,830
Obviously invisibility. Flying.

1515
01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:36,753
Yes.

1516
01:02:36,754 --> 01:02:37,859
Invisible flying.

1517
01:02:37,860 --> 01:02:39,430
Like Wonder Woman's plane, right?

1518
01:02:39,431 --> 01:02:40,881
(LIZZIE GIGGLES) Okay, cool.

1519
01:02:41,820 --> 01:02:44,563
Name three things you both
appear to have in common.

1520
01:02:46,340 --> 01:02:47,869
Uh,

1521
01:02:47,870 --> 01:02:49,547
gorgeous blue eyes.

1522
01:02:49,548 --> 01:02:51,379
(RYAN CHUCKLING)

1523
01:02:51,380 --> 01:02:52,929
You're not blue. (CHUCKLES)

1524
01:02:52,930 --> 01:02:53,930
Pale.

1525
01:02:55,499 --> 01:02:56,539
(CHUCKLES)

1526
01:02:56,540 --> 01:02:57,753
Have a fuck load of fun.

1527
01:02:59,668 --> 01:03:01,668
(SIGHS)

1528
01:03:05,049 --> 01:03:08,399
I'm sure the third will come with time.

1529
01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:10,423
Uh, great hair.

1530
01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:12,779
Wow, thanks.

1531
01:03:12,780 --> 01:03:15,939
It's a little bit higher
each year, but okay.

1532
01:03:15,940 --> 01:03:17,799
We'll have less and less
in common over time.

1533
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:19,919
Unless you thin out when you're older.

1534
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:21,509
We're both very flexible.

1535
01:03:21,510 --> 01:03:23,379
- Flexible.
- Mm-hmm.

1536
01:03:23,380 --> 01:03:24,380
Okay.

1537
01:03:25,340 --> 01:03:26,367
And...

1538
01:03:27,825 --> 01:03:29,969
(SIGHS)

1539
01:03:29,970 --> 01:03:31,803
Both unsure about the future.

1540
01:03:36,430 --> 01:03:39,080
Uh, what is the greatest
accomplishment of your life?

1541
01:03:40,326 --> 01:03:42,326
(SIGHS)

1542
01:03:46,745 --> 01:03:48,089
Do you wanna have kids?

1543
01:03:48,090 --> 01:03:49,849
Is that on,

1544
01:03:49,850 --> 01:03:51,649
uh, separate, okay.

1545
01:03:51,650 --> 01:03:52,693
Uh, yes.

1546
01:03:57,670 --> 01:03:59,589
Do you wanna have kids?

1547
01:03:59,590 --> 01:04:01,289
One of my greatest fears
when I was growing up

1548
01:04:01,290 --> 01:04:04,239
was that, well, when
I was 18 specifically,

1549
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:06,429
I remember that I was afraid

1550
01:04:06,430 --> 01:04:07,549
that by the time I reached 30,

1551
01:04:07,550 --> 01:04:09,809
I would be single and childless.

1552
01:04:09,810 --> 01:04:10,800
I know, I know, it's strange,

1553
01:04:10,801 --> 01:04:12,299
but I still think about it now.

1554
01:04:12,300 --> 01:04:14,171
I really, really want to travel,

1555
01:04:14,172 --> 01:04:15,969
but could I do that with a kid?

1556
01:04:15,970 --> 01:04:16,803
I don't know.

1557
01:04:16,804 --> 01:04:19,639
But at the same time, if I travel,

1558
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:21,239
and I come back back,
and when I meet someone,

1559
01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:22,399
will it be too late?

1560
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:25,629
Will I have, I dunno, dried
up by then? (CHUCKLES)

1561
01:04:25,630 --> 01:04:26,463
I dunno.

1562
01:04:26,464 --> 01:04:29,920
I mean, I just feel like it's
my species responsibility

1563
01:04:31,130 --> 01:04:33,139
to procreate in some way, right?

1564
01:04:33,140 --> 01:04:33,973
I mean, isn't that what it's about?

1565
01:04:33,974 --> 01:04:38,973
It's like eating, defecating,
and populating, right?

1566
01:04:39,050 --> 01:04:41,949
Well, that's why the globe
is so overpopulated, right?

1567
01:04:41,950 --> 01:04:43,356
I read an article that if you had your SUV

1568
01:04:43,357 --> 01:04:46,679
parked in a driveway and
running 24 hours a day,

1569
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:48,839
that that's still gonna
impact the environment

1570
01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:51,490
a lot less than if you were
to raise a western child.

1571
01:04:57,400 --> 01:04:59,199
That's the first I've
heard that you've read up

1572
01:04:59,200 --> 01:05:01,643
on any of that eco stuff.

1573
01:05:08,170 --> 01:05:10,269
If you knew you were going to die today,

1574
01:05:10,270 --> 01:05:12,573
what would you most regret
not telling someone?

1575
01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:18,277
Can we skip this one?

1576
01:05:18,278 --> 01:05:19,749
It should be really easy.

1577
01:05:19,750 --> 01:05:20,583
We don't have enough time.

1578
01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:21,416
Just say it.

1579
01:05:21,416 --> 01:05:22,390
No, we don't have enough time.

1580
01:05:22,391 --> 01:05:23,739
We have enough time!

1581
01:05:23,740 --> 01:05:24,849
I run the, just say it!

1582
01:05:24,850 --> 01:05:26,173
How hard is it to say?

1583
01:05:27,540 --> 01:05:29,440
You have enough time to say one thing.

1584
01:05:30,550 --> 01:05:31,540
You can do it.

1585
01:05:31,541 --> 01:05:33,859
Come on, just say what you wanna say.

1586
01:05:33,860 --> 01:05:35,949
How hard is it just to say

1587
01:05:35,950 --> 01:05:37,439
what you wanna say to somebody?

1588
01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:39,940
Just say it, say the one
thing that you wanna say.

1589
01:05:41,620 --> 01:05:45,877
Okay?

1590
01:05:45,878 --> 01:05:46,878
Okay.

1591
01:05:48,820 --> 01:05:50,183
What is Zed Picket Fence?

1592
01:06:01,649 --> 01:06:03,167
(LAPTOP CLICKING)

1593
01:06:03,168 --> 01:06:04,859
You've been going through my laptop?

1594
01:06:04,860 --> 01:06:06,349
When you came back
from the US last month,

1595
01:06:06,350 --> 01:06:08,039
I asked to borrow your computer,

1596
01:06:08,040 --> 01:06:09,040
while you, Mr. Eco-friendly,

1597
01:06:09,041 --> 01:06:11,759
were taking a 40-fucking-minute
shower, by the way,

1598
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:14,399
and this was just an open
window on your computer.

1599
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:16,509
And I didn't think
anything of it at the time,

1600
01:06:16,510 --> 01:06:19,423
but do you mind telling me
what these pictures are?

1601
01:06:23,830 --> 01:06:24,830
It's pictures.

1602
01:06:26,618 --> 01:06:28,701
And what about Jessica?

1603
01:06:30,840 --> 01:06:32,809
You brought her up like three times

1604
01:06:32,810 --> 01:06:34,566
since you got back from the US.

1605
01:06:34,567 --> 01:06:37,646
And I may have Facebook
stalked her from your profile,

1606
01:06:37,647 --> 01:06:40,179
and I saw an album on there

1607
01:06:40,180 --> 01:06:41,719
that matched the exact same photos

1608
01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:43,170
that you have on this folder.

1609
01:06:47,470 --> 01:06:48,470
Okay, sit down.

1610
01:06:49,730 --> 01:06:50,730
Sit down.

1611
01:07:01,240 --> 01:07:02,240
Ryan,

1612
01:07:03,550 --> 01:07:05,719
if you want to be in a
genuine relationship with me,

1613
01:07:05,720 --> 01:07:07,453
you have to start being genuine.

1614
01:07:13,882 --> 01:07:14,882
Okay.

1615
01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:16,600
Okay.

1616
01:07:17,470 --> 01:07:18,593
Jessica, she's,

1617
01:07:19,780 --> 01:07:21,983
I went out with her in my senior year,

1618
01:07:23,190 --> 01:07:24,313
and things were nice.

1619
01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:27,219
And my dad told me to break up with her

1620
01:07:27,220 --> 01:07:28,969
because, you know,

1621
01:07:28,970 --> 01:07:30,389
there'd be tons of other girls in college,

1622
01:07:30,390 --> 01:07:31,823
and don't settle too early.

1623
01:07:32,860 --> 01:07:35,439
Fast forward 18 years later,

1624
01:07:35,440 --> 01:07:37,083
she finds me on Facebook,

1625
01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:41,396
and I just became obsessed.

1626
01:07:41,397 --> 01:07:45,379
I mean, she was with a guy
that she got pregnant with,

1627
01:07:45,380 --> 01:07:48,419
and they have these almost grown up kids.

1628
01:07:48,420 --> 01:07:49,629
Grown up.

1629
01:07:49,630 --> 01:07:51,329
I haven't even grown up, you know?

1630
01:07:51,330 --> 01:07:53,519
(CHUCKLING)

1631
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:56,743
So her husband was out of town,

1632
01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:01,119
and the kids were away, you
know, with the grandparents,

1633
01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:02,449
and so we went out to dinner

1634
01:08:02,450 --> 01:08:05,599
to the old diner that we
always went to in high school.

1635
01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:08,059
And she was, it was really nice.

1636
01:08:08,060 --> 01:08:09,393
It was like old times.

1637
01:08:10,630 --> 01:08:12,609
And I drove her home.

1638
01:08:12,610 --> 01:08:14,559
And the house that she lives in now

1639
01:08:14,560 --> 01:08:16,893
is the same house that she grew up in.

1640
01:08:18,290 --> 01:08:19,539
And so I'd been there before,

1641
01:08:19,540 --> 01:08:21,406
and she was telling me
about all these renovations,

1642
01:08:21,407 --> 01:08:22,639
and so we went inside,

1643
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:25,439
and it was pretty dark.

1644
01:08:25,440 --> 01:08:27,159
We walked to the basement,

1645
01:08:27,160 --> 01:08:29,283
and we were sitting there,

1646
01:08:30,260 --> 01:08:31,260
and we didn't.

1647
01:08:33,210 --> 01:08:34,210
We didn't do...

1648
01:08:37,836 --> 01:08:40,253
But, I mean, we kissed, okay?

1649
01:08:42,420 --> 01:08:43,330
Okay?

1650
01:08:43,330 --> 01:08:44,280
All right.

1651
01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:45,280
That's good.

1652
01:08:46,547 --> 01:08:49,129
And so, um,

1653
01:08:49,130 --> 01:08:51,623
there was a thought in my mind, like, wow,

1654
01:08:52,860 --> 01:08:55,129
I'm gonna be with this girl
for the rest of my life.

1655
01:08:55,130 --> 01:08:56,569
This is exactly what I wanted,

1656
01:08:56,570 --> 01:08:58,839
and I felt 100% at home

1657
01:08:58,840 --> 01:09:00,723
for the first time in like 18 years.

1658
01:09:01,750 --> 01:09:04,059
Did you ever think about
me at all during that?

1659
01:09:04,060 --> 01:09:05,499
Oh my God, man, I thought about you

1660
01:09:05,500 --> 01:09:07,203
every fucking step of the way.

1661
01:09:08,310 --> 01:09:09,143
You know?

1662
01:09:09,144 --> 01:09:11,049
And that wasn't good, 'cause
we're not supposed to,

1663
01:09:11,050 --> 01:09:12,116
I'm not supposed to think about you.

1664
01:09:12,117 --> 01:09:14,263
I'm supposed to be free and open, right?

1665
01:09:15,990 --> 01:09:18,489
And as I'm thinking about
this, she took me upstairs,

1666
01:09:18,490 --> 01:09:20,779
and I don't know why, but
she flipped on the light

1667
01:09:20,780 --> 01:09:23,179
when we were at the top of the stairs,

1668
01:09:23,180 --> 01:09:25,013
and everything changed.

1669
01:09:26,580 --> 01:09:29,099
The appliances were shiny,

1670
01:09:29,100 --> 01:09:33,749
and all of the edges were hard and white,

1671
01:09:33,750 --> 01:09:36,233
and it just wasn't,

1672
01:09:38,180 --> 01:09:39,533
it wasn't home anymore.

1673
01:09:40,450 --> 01:09:41,829
And she took me up the stairs

1674
01:09:41,830 --> 01:09:44,679
to what used to be her
parents' master bedroom,

1675
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:47,529
and it just wasn't right,
and I just freaked.

1676
01:09:47,530 --> 01:09:49,109
I just said, "I got to get outta here."

1677
01:09:49,110 --> 01:09:51,184
So I said I had to use the bathroom.

1678
01:09:51,185 --> 01:09:53,769
(SNIFFS) You know, the
oldest excuse in the book.

1679
01:09:53,770 --> 01:09:55,559
And she and I had sex in that bathroom

1680
01:09:55,560 --> 01:09:56,969
when we were in high school,

1681
01:09:56,970 --> 01:10:01,609
and now, at that same sink,

1682
01:10:01,610 --> 01:10:02,999
that one.

1683
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:04,079
The rest are from Facebook,

1684
01:10:04,080 --> 01:10:06,639
but I shot that one 'cause I just,

1685
01:10:06,640 --> 01:10:07,640
it hit me.

1686
01:10:08,350 --> 01:10:09,793
Those two toothbrushes, man.

1687
01:10:11,028 --> 01:10:13,448
(CHUCKLES) I thought, this is not my home.

1688
01:10:13,449 --> 01:10:15,387
This is not my place, you know?

1689
01:10:16,399 --> 01:10:18,919
And it was, fuck,

1690
01:10:18,920 --> 01:10:20,849
it was weird, you know?

1691
01:10:20,850 --> 01:10:23,533
It was weird being there.

1692
01:10:25,090 --> 01:10:26,709
And I left,

1693
01:10:26,710 --> 01:10:29,166
and then I was like, oh,
God, I forgot my phone.

1694
01:10:29,167 --> 01:10:31,889
And so I went back to get my phone,

1695
01:10:31,890 --> 01:10:32,810
and she was in the bathroom,

1696
01:10:32,811 --> 01:10:34,519
and she told me to hold on a minute,

1697
01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:36,783
and I swear to God, that was it.

1698
01:10:38,657 --> 01:10:40,889
(CLICKS)

1699
01:10:40,890 --> 01:10:42,383
LIZZIE: What about that one?

1700
01:10:43,879 --> 01:10:45,209
I don't know why she took that.

1701
01:10:45,210 --> 01:10:46,210
It's,

1702
01:10:47,220 --> 01:10:50,349
maybe it was some kinda thing

1703
01:10:50,350 --> 01:10:51,850
to tell me she's still got it?

1704
01:10:53,850 --> 01:10:54,973
Or to stay away.

1705
01:10:56,930 --> 01:10:57,910
Yeah, maybe that's it,

1706
01:10:57,911 --> 01:11:00,060
that's what that whole
folder is, you know?

1707
01:11:01,560 --> 01:11:02,560
So I guess you're off the hook

1708
01:11:02,561 --> 01:11:04,110
and you didn't break any rules.

1709
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:06,103
I was hiding.

1710
01:11:07,610 --> 01:11:09,660
I was hiding to protect our relationship.

1711
01:11:12,890 --> 01:11:14,889
'Cause I didn't wanna say this,

1712
01:11:14,890 --> 01:11:16,133
but I got to say it now.

1713
01:11:17,060 --> 01:11:18,693
It was never about Jessica.

1714
01:11:23,780 --> 01:11:26,093
I don't think the white
picket fence is for me.

1715
01:11:29,680 --> 01:11:32,959
(STAMMERS) You don't want success?

1716
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:35,259
No, no, no, it's not about success.

1717
01:11:35,260 --> 01:11:36,739
I would love to be a success,

1718
01:11:36,740 --> 01:11:39,693
but it's that, like, it's that lifestyle.

1719
01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:43,539
PTA, the poker nights,

1720
01:11:43,540 --> 01:11:45,859
the watering, and the herbiciding,

1721
01:11:45,860 --> 01:11:47,421
and the mowing of the grass.

1722
01:11:47,422 --> 01:11:52,049
The making sure you have new
furniture every five years,

1723
01:11:52,050 --> 01:11:53,913
you now, like the white picket fence.

1724
01:11:56,080 --> 01:11:57,423
It's not for me.

1725
01:11:59,450 --> 01:12:01,450
And I was afraid that if I told you that

1726
01:12:02,480 --> 01:12:04,539
then you would wanna leave

1727
01:12:04,540 --> 01:12:05,591
and I couldn't risk that.

1728
01:12:05,592 --> 01:12:07,206
I couldn't risk that.

1729
01:12:07,207 --> 01:12:08,209
I don't wanna risk that.

1730
01:12:08,210 --> 01:12:10,703
It's not like we talked
about longterm anyway.

1731
01:12:12,210 --> 01:12:14,019
Oh, come on, are you kidding me?

1732
01:12:14,020 --> 01:12:16,909
Longterm, that's all I ever
think about is longterm.

1733
01:12:16,910 --> 01:12:19,222
You think that this whole eco thing,

1734
01:12:19,223 --> 01:12:21,459
echo hippy thing that I do, right,

1735
01:12:21,460 --> 01:12:23,209
aren't you a little bit concerned

1736
01:12:23,210 --> 01:12:25,296
as to why this started out of nowhere?

1737
01:12:25,297 --> 01:12:27,099
I think you're too busy
thinking about the fucking planet

1738
01:12:27,100 --> 01:12:28,816
to think about what's
right in front of you.

1739
01:12:28,817 --> 01:12:29,650
(RYAN CHUCKLES)

1740
01:12:29,651 --> 01:12:32,069
That's what I think.

1741
01:12:32,070 --> 01:12:36,459
Three months ago I
decided that I loved you

1742
01:12:36,460 --> 01:12:38,060
more than anybody I've ever met.

1743
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:42,409
And I see you looking
at those wedding photos.

1744
01:12:42,410 --> 01:12:44,309
I see you looking at the dresses,

1745
01:12:44,310 --> 01:12:46,009
I see you looking at the pictures

1746
01:12:46,010 --> 01:12:48,069
of the carbon copy
McMansions and everything,

1747
01:12:48,070 --> 01:12:50,023
and I wanted to give you what you want.

1748
01:12:51,210 --> 01:12:54,419
Three months ago I looked
up the word stability,

1749
01:12:54,420 --> 01:12:57,919
not sustainability, stability, right?

1750
01:12:57,920 --> 01:12:59,049
And what did I find?

1751
01:12:59,050 --> 01:13:00,439
I found out that there's climate change,

1752
01:13:00,440 --> 01:13:01,799
I found out about peak oil,

1753
01:13:01,800 --> 01:13:03,279
I found out about soil depletion,

1754
01:13:03,280 --> 01:13:05,086
phosphorous depletion, water pollution.

1755
01:13:05,087 --> 01:13:07,929
There's only half of
one percent of the water

1756
01:13:07,930 --> 01:13:09,069
left for the planet that we can even do,

1757
01:13:09,070 --> 01:13:11,009
we're adding 220,000 people
to the planet every day.

1758
01:13:11,010 --> 01:13:12,369
You don't think I know
these kinda statistics

1759
01:13:12,370 --> 01:13:13,869
that you're citing me out there?

1760
01:13:13,870 --> 01:13:15,029
I know this stuff.

1761
01:13:15,030 --> 01:13:16,569
This, this here comes from China,

1762
01:13:16,570 --> 01:13:18,449
this here comes from fucking Korea,

1763
01:13:18,450 --> 01:13:20,739
this here is built
entirely on fossil fuels,

1764
01:13:20,740 --> 01:13:22,329
and what happens when we can't afford

1765
01:13:22,330 --> 01:13:24,829
to pull fossil fuels out
of the ground anymore?

1766
01:13:24,830 --> 01:13:26,579
I don't know, are we all
gonna be goin' around

1767
01:13:26,580 --> 01:13:28,159
and carrying spears,

1768
01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:31,059
or are we gonna be like Amish farmers?

1769
01:13:31,060 --> 01:13:32,199
The suburbs are fucked,

1770
01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:34,679
are they gonna just like pave
those down and build farms,

1771
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:36,209
and throw everybody into super cities?

1772
01:13:36,210 --> 01:13:38,893
Like, I don't know, I have
no idea what's stable.

1773
01:13:40,810 --> 01:13:42,369
Now it might make more sense for you

1774
01:13:42,370 --> 01:13:45,129
to accept what's right in front of you.

1775
01:13:45,130 --> 01:13:46,180
LIZZIE: Excuse me?

1776
01:13:48,180 --> 01:13:49,180
Say it.

1777
01:13:50,060 --> 01:13:51,853
- What?
- Say you love me!

1778
01:13:53,660 --> 01:13:55,273
Say you wanna be with me.

1779
01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:57,760
I'm here.

1780
01:13:59,226 --> 01:14:00,926
I'm the most stable thing you got.

1781
01:14:03,965 --> 01:14:05,015
You want the truth?

1782
01:14:06,420 --> 01:14:09,223
You wanna know why this is all like this?

1783
01:14:11,240 --> 01:14:14,369
It's because I met you on fucking Tinder!

1784
01:14:14,370 --> 01:14:17,899
Because all I ever fucking
wanted from you was a fling.

1785
01:14:17,900 --> 01:14:20,299
Yeah, we have great sex and
we have a fucking great time,

1786
01:14:20,300 --> 01:14:22,479
but you're just this old fucking man

1787
01:14:22,480 --> 01:14:26,359
who just can't maintain any
of his fucking relationships!

1788
01:14:26,360 --> 01:14:28,499
Just this fucking startup wannabe,

1789
01:14:28,500 --> 01:14:30,209
you can't even control the damn tickets

1790
01:14:30,210 --> 01:14:31,833
on your own fucking company!

1791
01:14:33,900 --> 01:14:36,763
I knew it was gonna be easy
not to fall in love with you.

1792
01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:41,669
Because your life was lacking direction,

1793
01:14:41,670 --> 01:14:43,420
you weren't doing anything with it.

1794
01:14:54,030 --> 01:14:55,033
Wow, that's,

1795
01:14:56,205 --> 01:14:57,205
yeah.

1796
01:15:02,800 --> 01:15:04,505
I'm sorry, I...

1797
01:15:04,506 --> 01:15:05,679
No, it's...

1798
01:15:05,680 --> 01:15:07,249
I don't know if any of that was true,

1799
01:15:07,250 --> 01:15:08,650
I just said that to hurt you

1800
01:15:10,410 --> 01:15:14,033
because I'm afraid of everything.

1801
01:15:14,034 --> 01:15:16,193
Of relationships of,

1802
01:15:17,560 --> 01:15:18,560
oh, Jesus.

1803
01:15:23,030 --> 01:15:25,153
I'm just not an interesting person.

1804
01:15:26,965 --> 01:15:29,959
(SOBS) I have nothing to offer anybody.

1805
01:15:29,960 --> 01:15:31,753
Want some article quotes?

1806
01:15:33,320 --> 01:15:35,799
I'm just another cog in the system,

1807
01:15:35,800 --> 01:15:37,869
just another face in the book.

1808
01:15:37,870 --> 01:15:40,066
I'm living my life and
not doing anything with it

1809
01:15:40,067 --> 01:15:41,299
and I don't know why.

1810
01:15:41,300 --> 01:15:42,300
No, no.

1811
01:15:43,365 --> 01:15:45,969
I just sit in front of
a screen most of the week,

1812
01:15:45,970 --> 01:15:48,149
I just go on autopilot.

1813
01:15:48,150 --> 01:15:49,729
I don't know what to say to people,

1814
01:15:49,730 --> 01:15:52,699
I don't know how to be in any situation

1815
01:15:52,700 --> 01:15:55,759
when I'm looking at these photos
of people getting married,

1816
01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:57,524
and being so happy.

1817
01:15:57,525 --> 01:16:00,479
Just the smiling, and living everything

1818
01:16:00,480 --> 01:16:01,786
that they probably wanted and more.

1819
01:16:01,787 --> 01:16:03,702
And I don't have that, you know?

1820
01:16:03,703 --> 01:16:05,219
I mean, look at me, right?

1821
01:16:05,220 --> 01:16:07,309
I've been like traveling
and experiencing things

1822
01:16:07,310 --> 01:16:09,469
my entire life, you know,
dabbled in this and that,

1823
01:16:09,470 --> 01:16:13,979
and yeah, it makes for a very
extensive Facebook profile,

1824
01:16:13,980 --> 01:16:15,330
but where has it gotten me?

1825
01:16:16,274 --> 01:16:17,210
I mean, look at me.

1826
01:16:17,211 --> 01:16:18,469
I'm single, I'm alone,

1827
01:16:18,470 --> 01:16:20,179
I've never committed to anything,

1828
01:16:20,180 --> 01:16:22,323
and it's gotten me absolutely nothing.

1829
01:16:23,430 --> 01:16:26,113
I'm not some kind of sexy
alternative to stability.

1830
01:16:28,300 --> 01:16:29,567
What is stability?

1831
01:16:32,853 --> 01:16:33,853
You.

1832
01:16:34,746 --> 01:16:35,746
Yeah.

1833
01:16:36,656 --> 01:16:38,073
Stability is you.

1834
01:18:08,040 --> 01:18:09,583
You can boil water in it.

1835
01:18:10,652 --> 01:18:11,652
And you'll need to.

1836
01:18:34,071 --> 01:18:37,988
(GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC)

1837
01:19:16,975 --> 01:19:19,392
(DOOR SLAMS)

1838
01:19:29,644 --> 01:19:32,061
(DOOR OPENS)

1839
01:19:43,797 --> 01:19:44,913
Cancel the trip.

1840
01:19:46,234 --> 01:19:47,067
Are you sure?

1841
01:19:47,067 --> 01:19:48,067
Because I can,

1842
01:19:49,860 --> 01:19:50,860
okay.

1843
01:19:54,444 --> 01:19:56,944
(BIRD CHIRPS)

1844
01:20:00,604 --> 01:20:02,949
(SIGHS)

1845
01:20:02,950 --> 01:20:03,950
Why'd you do it?

1846
01:20:05,440 --> 01:20:06,840
I'm gonna do it on my own.

1847
01:20:10,450 --> 01:20:11,790
All on your own, or...

1848
01:20:15,650 --> 01:20:17,639
How long is the love stare?

1849
01:20:17,640 --> 01:20:19,963
Well, I don't know, but I can Google it.

1850
01:20:20,874 --> 01:20:23,741
Let's just do a minute.

1851
01:20:23,742 --> 01:20:26,492
(PHONE CLICKING)

1852
01:20:32,863 --> 01:20:35,196
(CHUCKLING)

1853
01:21:24,914 --> 01:21:27,497
(PHONE CHIMES)

1854
01:21:31,634 --> 01:21:34,217
(PHONE CHIMES)

1855
01:21:38,074 --> 01:21:41,407
(GENTLE ACOUSTIC MUSIC)

1856
01:21:50,114 --> 01:21:53,374
♪ Sunset in the bedroom ♪

1857
01:21:53,375 --> 01:21:56,433
♪ My camera in my hand ♪

1858
01:21:56,434 --> 01:22:01,434
♪ And she's strikin' poses again ♪

1859
01:22:02,703 --> 01:22:06,370
♪ We're almost out of light ♪

1860
01:22:15,381 --> 01:22:18,283
♪ I can't seem to focus ♪

1861
01:22:18,284 --> 01:22:21,393
♪ And she keeps lookin' away ♪

1862
01:22:21,394 --> 01:22:26,394
♪ I'm not sure how much more we can take ♪

1863
01:22:27,634 --> 01:22:32,634
♪ We're almost out of light ♪

1864
01:22:33,994 --> 01:22:38,994
♪ All alone, I fight ♪

1865
01:22:40,226 --> 01:22:45,226
♪ All alone, I fight ♪

1866
01:22:47,587 --> 01:22:52,587
♪ For it used to come easy ♪

1867
01:22:55,558 --> 01:23:00,558
♪ Easy ♪

1868
01:23:01,696 --> 01:23:05,066
♪ I took a roll on the old rug ♪

1869
01:23:05,067 --> 01:23:08,044
♪ A roll in the bed ♪

1870
01:23:08,045 --> 01:23:13,045
♪ There's one more shot
till this roll is dead ♪

1871
01:23:14,507 --> 01:23:16,342
♪ We're almost ♪

1872
01:23:16,343 --> 01:23:20,794
♪ Out of light ♪

1873
01:23:20,795 --> 01:23:25,795
♪ All alone, I fight ♪

1874
01:23:27,024 --> 01:23:32,024
♪ All alone, I fight ♪

1875
01:23:34,416 --> 01:23:39,416
♪ For it used to come easy ♪

1876
01:23:42,296 --> 01:23:47,296
♪ Easy ♪

1877
01:23:50,862 --> 01:23:55,862
♪ She makes me beg ♪

1878
01:23:56,086 --> 01:24:01,086
♪ Like that's all she ever wanted ♪

1879
01:24:01,286 --> 01:24:05,775
♪ And I bet all I get ♪

1880
01:24:05,776 --> 01:24:09,062
♪ Is a bottom drawer full of regret ♪

1881
01:24:09,063 --> 01:24:11,794
♪ And pictures that ♪

1882
01:24:11,795 --> 01:24:15,545
♪ I'll never wanna see again ♪

1883
01:24:26,206 --> 01:24:29,314
♪ Sunset in the bedroom ♪

1884
01:24:29,315 --> 01:24:32,455
♪ A camera in my hand ♪

1885
01:24:32,456 --> 01:24:37,456
♪ And she's strikin' poses again ♪

1886
01:24:38,744 --> 01:24:42,411
♪ We're almost out of light ♪

1887
01:24:58,644 --> 01:25:00,561
♪ Ooh ♪