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MAN: Gloria, what are you doing here?
Go home.
GLORIA: There ain't no home to go back to.
MAN: Let me be. I got a job to do.
Why do you keep killing all these people, Daddy?
Everyone's leaving town.
Go! Get away now!
GLORIA: Who else has to die before you stop?
(DISTANT GUNFIRE)
It's just one more killing, sweetheart.
Then it's done.
Come on, boys! Let's go!
It's open season on the freaks!
We just want to leave town with what we got left, Daddy,
me and Mom and you.
(GUNFIRE, YELLING CONTINUE)
I told you, baby, go home.
Mama said she felt sorry for you.
She said that minister made you all crazy.
Now these circus folk ain't got no lives left,
and we ain't got no lives left.
And now you're gonna die, too.
Bye, Daddy.
Bye.
WOMAN: After it! Kill him!
- (SHOTGUN COCKS) - There! There! Go!
In the door! Open the door, baby!
- (POUNDING ON DOOR) - No!
Oh, no! No! Not my babies!
- Please, not my babies! - Got you now, freak mama!
(SHOTGUN BLAST ECHOES)
- MAN: This kid ain't dead yet. - BOY: Mama!
WOMAN: Yeah, that one's still alive.
- Mama. Mama! - MAN: Run, you freak boy!
- (BOY SCREAMING) - MAN: Murderer!
WOMAN: The boy, he's getting away!
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Kill him!
Hey, Bucky!
Okay, you go on.
You flush it out this way right to me...
and I promise you I'll take care of it.
But, Homer, he's just a kid, ain't he?
You call that thing a kid?!
Ain't no kid.
It's a murdering freak!
(ECHOING) ...murdering freak! Murdering freak!
Got the Devil in him...
just like the minister says.
Okay, you go on.
I know you're in there, you little freak!
(ECHOING) ...freak! ...Freak!
We told you people to get out a dozen times.
You just had to stay.
You just had to keep building this sin-filled place, huh?
Bigger and bigger,
right in the middle of our town!
Now it's gonna cost you,
- just like it cost your mama... - (ECHOING) ...mama...
- your brother... - brother...
everyone you ever cared about,
- 'cause they're all dead now! - Dead now!
Just like you're gonna be in about one minute.
One minute... one minute.
Yeah!
- (SHOTGUN BLASTING) - (SCREAMING)
- (SQUELCHING) - (SCREAMS)
Did you get him, Homer? Did you get him?
(BOY PANTING)
♪♪♪
BOY: Davy! Davy!
Davy!
(WIND BLOWING)
(INSECT BUZZING)
- (GROUP CHATTERING) - Come on, Davy!
Haven't you peed already?!
Hey. Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Davy!
Hear us?!
Davy! Hey, Davy!
Hey, I thought your little brother
just had to take a piss.
Some pisses take longer than others. Know what I mean?
Lay off, guys.
Or what, meatball?
Whoa, Jillian,
have you seen Davy's new post?
It's awesome.
Yeah, I got it, too.
Yeah, me, too.
(CAMERA CLICKS)
What's he doing out there,
some kind of nature show?
Hey, why don't you give me and Marcus our tickets?
We'll meet you guys at the concert.
It's not a concert, dummies. It's a music festival.
Yeah, whatever. Chuck and I are sick
of wasting time on your stupid shortcuts.
Go. I don't want to drive with you guys, anyway.
All you guys talk about is sports.
Wait. You can't leave, guys. We need both cars.
I can just ride on top of the coolers.
- Whoo! - Hey!
We gettin' out of here, my boy.
- Yeah we are. Later, losers. - Sorry, guys,
but my little sister is not riding on top of a cooler.
Guys, guys, Davy's made a few posts,
so you might want to check it out.
They're really cool.
Ah. Yeah, there it is.
Yeah, look. More lizards.
This is B.S.!
(WIND BLOWING)
(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
Hold still, you little bugger.
(CAMERA CLICKS)
He's not responding to any of my texts.
We should go look for him.
Come on. Why don't you come out?
Um, are there gonna be snakes?
GIRL: Yeah, probably.
No. I'll pass.
(SIGHS)
Okay.
Come on. Lead the way.
Let's go, guys.
- (SIGHS) - Wait for me.
Davy!
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
- Davy! - Davy!
- Come on, Davy!
Davy!
- Haven't you peed already? - Come on!
- Come on, Davy! - Davy!
- Davy!
Sweet.
- Davy! - Davy!
- We'll miss the concert! - Come on, dude!
- We're gonna leave your ass! - We're gonna miss the festival!
- Watch out. - Where are you, Davy?!
Hey, yo, Davy!
Davy!
Fine. I guess, whatever.
Guys! Guys, wait up!
Come on, guys.
(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
(WIND BLOWING)
Davy, you little butt-hole, where are you?!
- Where are we? - Guys!
- Yo, Davy! - Guys, I saw a snake,
- and I wasn't even scared! - Bullshit.
(WIND BLOWING)
(CAMERA CLICKS)
- Come check this out. - I'm coming.
- Hey, come check this out. - What?! What is it?
- Come here. Come here. - What?
Look, look, look.
- Waah! - Waah!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Guys, it's not cool.
- Come on, Kody. - Come on, Kody!
It looks your brother found himself a town.
Looks like a ghost town.
(WIND BLOWING)
(DOOR CREAKING)
(CAMERA CLICKS)
Hello!
Creepy.
(METAL CLATTERS)
Hello?
(WILD LAUGH ECHOES)
(FAINT WHISPERS)
Who's there?!
- Ugh. - KODY: Stop.
Nature sucks. I hate this place.
Yeah. I mean, for a small boy...
- Davy, come on! - He can go very fast.
Man...
Hello?
No.
(LAUGHTER)
Whoa. Creepy.
(CAN CLATTERS)
(FLY BUZZING)
(CLATTERING)
Hello?
(CLATTERING)
Austin?
- Bro! - (CLATTER CONTINUES)
Is that you?!
(CLATTER CONTINUES)
Gordy?
Kody?
This isn't funny!
(SCREAMS)
(SCOFFS)
(SIGHS) Chill out, man.
Chill out, man.
- (DOOR CREAKS) - (ENTRY BELL RINGS)
Davy!
JILLIAN: This has got to be the longest pee in the world.
No, we're gonna find him soon.
Where could he be, though?
Well, I barely have any reception.
- (DRUMMING ON BARREL) - (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- Davy! - Davy!
Come on, Davy! Let's go!
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Come on, Davy! We don't have all day!
(WIND BLOWING)
What's up with these clowns?
No way.
(CREAKING)
♪♪♪
Ladies first.
(DOOR RATTLES)
Oh.
Hello?
(CREAK)
♪♪♪
Hello?
(WOOD THUMPS)
(CREAKS)
♪♪♪
(SIGHS)
Chill out, man.
(LOUD SQUEAK)
Put it on my tab.
(WHIRS)
(RATTLING)
RECORDING: Welcome to the Fun House.
- Cool. - (LAUGHTER)
Enter, if you dare.
Welcome to the Fun House.
(LAUGHTER)
Yeah, yeah. I heard you the first time.
♪♪♪
Davy!
Come on, Davy.
- Where are we? - Davy!
♪♪♪
This place is way too weird.
Guys, this is the place from Davy's picture.
Maybe Davy went back to the cars.
Or maybe he got kidnapped or fell into a well or something.
I did see missing person photos
back at that gas station, like, 20 miles back.
Yeah, there were 20 of them, all for kids our age.
Hey, guys, come check this out.
Have any of you ever heard of the Nevada Triangle?
Is that like the Bermuda Triangle?
Yeah, but, according to this, it's worse.
There's UFOs, planes vanishing, people disappearing.
It's all junk.
- You think so? - Yep.
You're wrong.
Davy!
Come on, man!
He's out here. We'll find him.
(INSECT BUZZING)
- Davy, come on! - Are you serious?
Davy!
Dave-O, come back here, asshole!
Asshole is right.
Come on, Davy! Let's go!
We're gonna miss the concert!
MARCUS: Wait. Don't you mean "music festival"?
- Davy! - (SIGHS)
Guys, wait up!
♪♪♪
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
I literally have no reception, guys.
- Hello? - Wow.
This place is ancient.
Do you think this place could be, uh, radioactive?
Should I Google "radiation"?
Soda!
Except there's nothing at all.
- Soda! - You're not getting anything?
No.
Try over here.
(WIND BLOWING)
(GROANS)
Why don't I have reception, but you do?
I downloaded the pages when we were lower down.
- Whoa. - (RATTLES)
This is crazy.
- Yo, hey, yo. - Oh.
Doesn't open? What the hell?
Yo! Yo, yo, yo, yo! Take a pic.
Yeah, I got you, brother.
Take it... Different pose. Different pose.
Yeah. Get me. Get me. Get me.
Get me. Get me. Get me. Hey, man.
All right. A'right. A'right. A'right. A'right.
A'right. A'right. Hey.
All right, come on. Switch it up.
- Switch it up. - (CAMERA CLICKING)
Hey, Sarah.
My sister speaks yet again.
Sorry, but I think I might know where we are,
- like, what this place is. - What do you mean?
I've been looking it up.
I think there was a real town here.
Hey, guys.
Guys, come check this out.
You can see on the map,
but there was a riot or something,
and now the whole place is just abandoned.
It happened, like, 25 years ago.
This whole area is off limits now,
that road we were on, too.
It's like one of those weird mystery shows or something.
Awesome.
Well, I did see a "Do not enter" sign
at the front of the road there.
Why didn't you tell us, ass-wipe?
- I don't know. I just forgot. - Shut up, Gordy.
Yeah, butt-whiff. Shut up.
Guys, I think we maybe should just keep looking for Davy.
No. Look, you guys stay here, okay?
I'm gonna go look for my brother.
- You can't go off by yourself. - Davy!
- (SIGHS)
Are you serious?
SARAH: Look toward this way!
AUSTIN: H-Hey, guys! I think I found something!
Oh, my God.
(MUFFLED MOANING)
Davy?
Bro, is that you?
- (MOANING CONTINUES) - Hey, guys!
Guys! I think he's down here!
- He's not posting anymore. - I swear I just heard him.
Anyone else think that's weird?
For Davy, yeah.
Think he actually went in there?
This place is creepy.
He totally went in.
- Yeah. - I'm not going near that thing.
Yeah, I-I'm with him.
Are you serious?
GORDY: I'll go in.
Me, too.
I-If that's okay with you.
If Sarah goes in, I'll go in.
(SCOFFS)
Well, I guess I'll go in.
♪♪♪
Okay.
Hey, I found a door, but it's locked.
Let's use our eyes, Austin.
SARAH: Go, Sally.
Here we are.
Now where... where do I put it?
SARAH: So stupid.
(WHIRS)
(RATTLING)
RECORDING: Welcome to the Fun House.
(LAUGHTER)
Enter, if you dare.
No. No friggin' way.
- Yeah. Yeah, no. - No.
(CLUCKING)
- Wow. - Yeah, I thought
you football guys were supposed to be "tough."
- (MOUTHS WORDS) - Come on, girls.
Let's go find Davy.
(CHUCK MUTTERS)
Kody! Kody!
You only live once.
Why don't you find something to...
To keep the door from closing in on us?
(SIGHS)
Guys, wait up.
Does this work?
Perfect. Do the honors.
(CREAKING)
(RECORDING WAILING)
(RECORDING LAUGHING)
SARAH: Take my hand.
Everybody with me?
GORDY: I'm in.
CHUCK: We're here.
KODY: Me, too.
- Jillian? - Right behind you.
Sally and I are in the back.
Something creepy just touched me.
Gordy, is that you grabbing me?
Nope.
And this is supposed to be fun?
AUSTIN: Don't waste your batteries, okay?
We have enough light, okay?
We need to keep our phones charged.
Yeah, so we can order a pizza or something.
- Yeah. - I'm serious.
Okay, okay.
AUSTIN: Hey, there's a left up here.
Watch your step.
- RECORDING: Watch your step. - Watch out.
The floor's moving right here.
RECORDING: Beware of the floor.
The walls are steel-reinforced. There is no way out.
- Way out... way out. - Yo, this place is all lit up.
Must be getting power from somewhere.
Yo, what's over there?
AUSTIN: It's a f-fork.
Man, go, go, go.
- (BICYCLE HORN HONKS) - (RECORDING LAUGHS)
Wait. Shh. Shh.
Do you hear that?
Did you hear that?
♪♪♪
- (SCREAMS) - Whoa!
Run! Run! Run!
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- Watch out! Move. - Go! Go! Go!
- Go! - Wrong way!
- Jillian! - No, turn! Go!
- Go back! Go back! - Austin!
Come on, guys! Go! Go! Go!
RECORDING: Watch your step.
AUSTIN: He's coming! Oh, my God!
Everybody, calm down! Quiet.
Hey, what was that thing back there?
JILLIAN: It was some kind of clown.
- A clown? - It's probably just
some fun-house hologram meant to freak us out.
I don't care what it was. I want to go home.
CHUCK: I agree. Let's get out of here.
You guys can go,
but I'm gonna stay and look for Davy.
Yeah, I'm staying, too.
Anybody else? Jillian?
Not me.
Okay, Marcus?
(SCOFFS) No way.
Kody?
GORDY: Kody?
Kody?
Oh, his mom's gonna be pissed. (LAUGHS)
SALLY: Wait. Here. I-I found the number for the fun house.
Sarah, call this.
It's ringing. I'll put it on speaker.
You have reached the Gaspari Fun House, Circus, and Maze.
You may leave a message at the beep...
- Leave one. - If you dare.
- Okay. - (BEEP)
Hi. Um...
yeah, we're here in your fun house,
and we seem to be missing two members of our party.
Uh, they're lost. I was wondering if you could...
(BEEP)
Okay. At least you have service, so, uh, call Davy.
Okay.
- (PHONE LINE RINGS) - It's ringing.
You have reached the Gaspari...
CHUCK: Called the fun house again.
No, I didn't. I swear.
- SALLY: I don't like this. - (BEEP)
Call me.
Okay.
(PHONE LINE RINGS)
You have reached the Gaspari...
Y-Yeah. Yeah, we're out of here.
Yeah, we'll meet you guys back at the car.
Come on, guys. We have two missing kids here.
Whatever.
Well, at least look for Kody on your way back.
CHUCK: Come on, bitch. Race you back on three.
- MARCUS: All right. You're on. - Three!
Assholes.
So now what, after that phone business?
SARAH: They must be intercepting calls, right?
I mean, what else could it be?
Well, hopefully Chuck and Marcus run into Kody.
I say we continue looking for Davy. Okay?
SARAH: Okay.
AUSTIN: Come on, Gordy.
- GORDY: Let's do it. - Okay.
SARAH: Okay.
Too slow, Chucky boy!
(PANTING) Wait! Wait!
Something's... Something's different.
Where... Where are we? Where's the exit, man?
- I-I don't remember this. - Okay, okay.
I don't remember this when we came in.
I-It was darker. It was darker.
Okay. Okay. Which way, right or left?
Come on!
Wh-What do you want me to do?!
We're lost! We've been circling!
You're the quarterback!
You know what to do, man! Just think!
- Screw you! - Just think!
Come here! Just think!
- Just think! Come on! - I don't know! I don't know!
Look! Look! Right! Right!
All right. Hey, hey, don't go too fast! Come on.
Don't leave me! Don't leave me!
Keep up! Keep up! Keep up.
(GROANING)
We're definitely lost!
No, no, no. No.
No, something... something is completely different!
We should have just stayed with the others!
What? And be a yes-man to that bitch, Austin,
and his fat-boy sidekick? Nah, not me.
I-I'm just saying. I'm quarterback.
You're linebacker. You get hit a lot.
You have brain damage!
Piss off.
JILLIAN: What's that for?
So we can find our way back.
RECORDING: Beware. The walls are shifting.
I think we've been this way before.
No, that's impossible.
No. No, she's right.
There's another one of your arrows.
AUSTIN: Shh! Shh! Quiet. Quiet. Quiet.
♪♪♪
Do you guys see him?
Do you see him?
I see him.
Guys, I'm starting to get scared.
I know, sweetie, but we'll be home soon.
We just have to find the boys.
Who is that guy?
Maybe a custodian?
Probably some big old squatter that got into the makeup kit.
AUSTIN: Hey, we see you, man! It's not funny!
I mean, whoever he is, he's keeping this place
ready and open in the middle of nowhere.
Well, like Sally said before,
it wasn't always the middle of nowhere.
I bet he's a psycho cannibal.
Okay, can you just stop? You're scaring her.
Yeah. Sorry.
Just focus, Gordy.
- Yeah, focus. - Come on.
Where'd he go?
I'm not sure.
Quiet. Quiet. Stay down. Stay down.
♪♪♪
SARAH: Down.
Stay down.
What's he doing?
Do you think he knows we're here?
Obviously he does.
Maybe the emergency phone lines are open.
- I'm gonna try calling 911. - Yeah.
There's only one hotspot, and it's called "Clown-child,"
and it has a password.
AUSTIN: Do you guys see that?
I-Is it moving?
Yo, something's in that bag.
- (BOY MUTTERING) - What's he doing?
- KODY: Guys, I... - It's Kody. It's Kody.
JILLIAN: Oh, my God. What should we do?
(KODY SCREAMING)
- Oh, my God. - Aah! Guys! Guys!
- What should we do? - Guys, help! No.
We need to get back to the cars and call the police!
- Okay. Okay, okay, okay. - (KODY GRUNTS)
SARAH: He killed the lights!
- AUSTIN: Everybody stay calm! - (OVERLAPPING YELLING)
RECORDING: It's trapdoor time.
JILLIAN: Guys, where'd you go?
RECORDING: Watch your step.
(ALL YELLING)
♪♪♪
AUSTIN: Come on, guys! Come on!
SARAH: Sally?!
SALLY: Sarah, where are you?
JILLIAN: Austin? Sarah?
- Sally?! Sally?! - AUSTIN: Come on! Come on!
- JILLIAN: Gordy! Gordy! - Come on! Come on!
- (PANTING) - Come on!
(DISTANT YELLING)
JILLIAN: Austin?
(LEVER CRANKS)
RECORDING: Beware.
- The walls are shifting. - Austin!
AUSTIN: Sarah, are you here?
(LEVER CRANKS)
RECORDING: Watch out for trapdoors.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- There is no way out. - Sally!
- What?! - It won't budge!
Where'd you go, Austin?
RECORDING: The walls are steel reinforced.
Hold on, Sally! I'm gonna find another way around, okay?
- Where are you going? - Sally, just stay
- where you are! - You can't leave me! Austin!
You can't leave me here!
RECORDING: These walls are steel.
There is no way out.
It's trapdoor time.
Austin? Sarah?
Anybody?
RECORDING: There is no way out.
(RECORDED SCREAM)
♪♪♪
Please. Please.
RECORDING: There is no way out for you.
(RECORDED LAUGH)
(BICYCLE HORN BEEPS)
Austin!
RECORDING: Beware. The walls are shifting.
(BICYCLE HORN BEEPS)
I've got to get out. I've got to get out.
(PANTING)
Mama.
♪♪♪
Hi! You're my new best friend!
Don't ever leave me!
(MOANS)
♪♪♪
(GROANING)
(SOBBING)
(RECORDING BEEPING, BLOOPING)
You know, maybe that clown didn't hit Kody so hard.
It's probably, like, just a trick
to trick the trespassers or something.
Agh! Stop talking about Kody, okay?!
I cannot focus on any more when I lost my sister.
I just... We need to find her and get out of here
and call the police! Now, okay?!
Austin and Sally are just fine.
Look. Th-There's an arrow right here.
- Look. Look. - Really?
- Yeah! - Yes, yes, yes, good.
This is good. We can get there and call the police.
- Go that way. Go. Go, then. - Okay.
Think we're good.
There it is. There it is. That's the way.
Th-That's the cave that we came through.
- Okay, okay, okay. - (WHIMPERS)
♪♪♪
(HONKS)
Please just leave us alone.
(MUTTERS)
- (SCREAMS) - (HONKING)
(HONKING CONTINUES)
(GASPING)
(SOBBING) Which way is it?
I can't remember.
Gordy, help me!
Listen. Listen, Sarah. Calm down.
I think Austin's taking care of Sally right now
and everything's just fine.
Let's think like gamers, okay?
L-Let's visualize this in our heads.
- Okay. - All right. All right.
Look, look. There's a passage right there.
- Okay, then, let's go! - Yeah.
Let's go!
RECORDING: Beware of shifting walls.
(PANEL SCRAPES)
(CLANG)
♪♪♪
(GRAVEL CRUNCHES)
(FOOTSTEPS CRUNCHING)
Please, please, please, God. Just get us out of here.
Come on. If you can... (SCREAMS)
(SCREAM ECHOES)
(SARAH MUTTERING, CRYING)
Oh, no. We have to find her, okay?
We have to find her, because...
- (RECORDING BLOOPING) - Oh, my Gosh.
We should just forget mapping this place out and go find them.
We have to keep going. Let's keep going
and make sure we find them, okay?
I-It's gonna be okay.
Look. Look. This might be a way.
See anything back there?
Um, I'll try... I'll try this.
- It's... - Is it another way?
I-I think so. Give me...
- Go check it out! - Okay!
- (SLAMS) - (GORDY GASPS)
- Gordy, why did it shut? - (THUMPING)
- (GORDY GROANING) - Gordy, what is going on in...
Are you okay?
♪♪♪
(PANEL SLIDES)
Ahh! Psychopath!
(YELLS)
(HORN HONKING)
- Gordy, answer me! - GORDY: Let go of me!
- Aah! My ankle! - Gordy, wait!
- Why won't this open? - (RECORDING LAUGHING)
Gordy, it's stuck! It's stuck!
RECORDING: Whammy! You just got bamboozled!
(GROANS) Ow.
What happened? What happened?
I-I think I may have, um... What?
I'm so sorry. Here. Here.
Put your... Put your arm around me.
- It's fine. It's fine. - Come on.
Okay, I'm going. Wow, you're really short.
I know, but, like, I just really don't know
what else to do to help you.
- I'm trying. Oh... - Come on. Like...
- Go forward, then! - Oh!
(WINCES) Ow!
Oh, my gosh. I know! I'm sorry, but, please,
we have to move, Gordy, please!
- (MOANING) - You cannot keep screaming!
Oh, my goodness, can you, like, help me a little bit?
I'm trying! I'm trying to... It's my leg!
This is really difficult, okay?
(MOANS)
- Just go! Please, Gordy, go! - Ow! Ow! Ow!
Gordy, you're killing me here.
- I'm sorry. - Oh, my gosh. We're gonna fall.
All right. I think it's this way.
Come on. Let's go.
Come on!
♪♪♪
(RECORDING LAUGHING)
Hello?
(RECORDED LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
Hello?
Austin? Austin?
(RECORDED LAUGHTER RESUMES)
(RECORDED LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
(FAN FLUTTERING)
(RECORDING STOPS)
♪♪♪
(MUSIC BOX PLAYING)
Mama.
(HISSES)
♪♪♪
Mommy.
Mommy, hold me.
I love you, Mommy.
Hold me, Mommy.
Mommy.
Hold me, Mommy.
I love you, Mommy.
Mama.
- Mama. - Mama.
- Mama. Mama. - Mama. Mama.
Mama.
- (YELLING) - (RIPS)
- (GASPING) - Don't leave me.
Hold me.
- Mama. - JILLIAN: Somebody help!
I'm in here! Please!
- Mommy. - Don't leave me.
- Mama. - Hold me.
(GASPS) No.
- I'm so hungry, Mommy. - No.
- I'm so hungry. - No! No! No!
(LEVERS CRANKING)
- Please. Please. Please. - (DOLLS CHATTERING)
- Stop, please! - Don't leave me, Mommy.
- Don't leave! - No, please!
(WHIMPERING)
- (CRUNCH) - Aah! Ow!
- (SQUEAKING) - Mommy!
- (CRUNCHING) - Don't leave, Mommy.
- Help! - Hungry. Hungry.
(LEVER CLANKS)
- Mommy! - (CRUNCHING)
Help!
Hold me, Mommy.
- Don't leave me. - (CRUNCHING)
(DOLLS CHATTERING)
(JILLIAN GASPING)
(LEVER CLANKS)
No! No! No! No!
- (POUNDING) - No! No!
- (SOBBING) - (DOLLS CHATTERING)
Don't leave me.
Mommy, don't leave me.
(GRUNTING)
(THUMPING)
(SALLY GRUNTING)
♪♪♪
(DAVY GRUNTING)
(SALLY SOBBING)
(MUFFLED) I can't... I can't help you.
(GRUNTING)
Why do... (GRUNTING)
(SOBBING)
Oh, shit. Tell me this is a way out.
- RECORDING: ♪ Welcome... ♪ - GORDY: Listen.
I can't walk anymore. I need to stop!
Just a little further. Look. The Tunnel of Love!
We can ride this back out. Let me help you get in.
Come on. Quick. Climb in.
Gordy, hurry up.
(GRUNTING)
A bag.
Okay.
Lighter.
Okay.
(PANTING)
♪♪♪
No! No!
(THUMP)
(WHIMPERS) No, no.
No. No.
No! Please, let go.
Yo, this place is crazy, bro.
- (GROANS) - It's crazy.
Whoa.
Hey, watch your step.
(LIQUID DRIPPING)
Hey, do you hear that? Shh.
I'm trippin'.
- (CREAKS) - (GROANS)
Oh! Close it. Close it, bro. Close it.
(DOOR THUMPS SHUT)
- Hey, we got a toilet. - Ohh.
- (COUGHS) - Some toilet.
- Watch... Watch your step. - Okay.
There's nails and stuff on the floor.
Just... Just be careful, bro.
This place is creepy.
(SIGHS)
Uh, this is so old.
Yeah, man. I'm not... I'm not feeling it.
I'm not... This is weird.
Oh. Somebody sleeps here.
Yo, there's a bed.
I got booze, bro!
Ah, you gonna drink that?
Come on. I got to drive.
(MOCKING) "I got to drive." Yeah, whatever.
Whatever, man. Give me some.
Go ahead.
(SIGHS)
It's lit?
(GASPS)
If someone's sleeping here, there's got to be an exit
or entrance somewhere else around here.
Good thinking, dummy!
Maybe you don't have so much brain damage after all!
Hey, yo, screw you! I'm gonna find a way outta here.
(SIGHS)
I think I found a door.
(LAUGHING)
- Shit! - What?!
- Go! Go! Run! Look out! - What?!
Let's go! Let's go! Come on!
Let's go! Come on! Come on!
- What, bro? - Yo, come on!
I saw him! He's coming!
He's coming right now! I swear! He's only...
- Yo, calm down! - What do we do?
Calm down! Calm down! Look, look, look!
We can take him! I'm QB! You're linebacker, remember?
- Are you sure? - Ready?
Yo, I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.
1, 2, 3!
(BOTH YELL)
(YELLING)
MARCUS: Ahh! Where is he?!
I don't know! I-I can't see anything!
- He's behind us! Chuck! - Where are you?!
Freak. (PANTING)
Marcus!
Wait! Wait! Yo, yo!
I think I see a way out!
Through this "barrel of laughs."
Come on! Come on!
Come on! I think we can get through here!
(SCREAMING)
Marcus! Marcus, where are you?!
- (LAUGHS) - MARCUS: Turn it off!
- (THUMPING) - Please, turn it off!
- (LAUGHS) - (SCREAMS)
(GROANS)
Oh, my God! Marcus!
♪♪♪
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
RECORDING: ♪ Welcome to the Tunnel of Love ♪
♪ Welcome to the Tunnel of Love ♪
- You're a little slut. Say it. - I'm a slut.
- You're lying to me! - (RECORDED PUNCHES)
- Say it again! - I'm a slut!
This ride is different than I thought it was gonna be.
You're right. I think I'd remember
if we came through here before.
Your secretary, George?
Really? She's half your age.
Oh, it was only one time, sugar.
It didn't mean anything.
You're gonna be able to walk soon, right?
I'll have to when the ride is over.
GIRL: Sarah!
What was that?
I-I don't like this.
(RECORDED LAUGHTER)
(GASPS) My gosh!
Maybe we should just... Maybe we should just get off.
How's your leg doing, Gordy?
It only hurts when I have to move it.
- Yeah, but I'll help you, okay? - Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
We're just gonna have to keep going while it's moving.
- (RECORDED LAUGH) - Okay. Come on, Gordy.
Pull out your leg. (GASPS)
- Stand up, Gordy! - Okay.
Okay, it's over there. Let's find the exit.
- That's really, really creepy. - (CELL PHONE RINGING)
RECORDING: ♪ It's the land of jack-in-the-box ♪
- I just want to find her. - Yeah, I do, too.
(BOX PLAYING "POP GOES THE WEASEL")
♪ It's the land of jack-in-the-box, box ♪
Jack-in-the-boxes are everywhere.
- (GORDY GASPS) - (LAUGHTER)
Jack-in-the-boxes are everywhere.
("POP GOES THE WEASEL" PLAYING)
Everywhere is a Jack-in-the box.
Wow.
That's a really big jack-in-the-box.
(GASPS) It's Marcus!
Oh, my God!
I cannot believe this!
Gordy, my baby sister!
It'll be okay.
♪♪♪
- Let's go. - (SCREAMS)
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Run! Run! Go!
Gordy, I can't leave you!
Run! Go get Sally!
No! Get away from me now!
(GAGGING)
(GURGLING)
AUSTIN: Sarah.
Sarah.
Austin?
Austin? Is Sally with you?
No, no, no, no, but I know where she is.
Where?
Is she okay? Is she hurt?
She's not hurt, as far as I can see. She...
Sally, Jillian, Davy, they're...
They're all in the same place, okay,
this circus tent thing, okay? The clown has them all.
Okay, well, the clown killed Gordy.
Marcus is dead, too. We just saw him.
Okay. I'm gonna go find a way out,
and I'm gonna come back for you, okay?
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
♪♪♪
(SARAH YELLING) Austin!
(MUFFLED) Oh, my God!
(MUFFLED) Let me go!
- (DAVY GRUNTING) - No! No!
(OVERLAPPING GRUNTS, MUFFLED SCREAMS)
No! No! Get off!
Please don't. Please don't. Please.
Get off me!
No! Please, no.
No, please.
- (GRUNTING) - No. No.
♪♪♪
- (POP) - (YELPS)
SARAH: Oh, it's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.
I'll get you out.
(SOBBING)
Are you okay, Davy?
You okay?
♪♪♪
- (GASPS) - (CRYING)
♪♪♪
(PROJECTOR WHIRRING)
ANNOUNCER: Who doesn't love the carnival?
And everybody knows the best place to visit
at a carnival is the Fun House.
♪♪♪
Look at all those good times people are having there,
making their way through the Barrel of Laughs,
the crazy floor gags,
and all sorts of tricks about the Fun House.
And when that's all over with,
don't forget to have a refreshing hot dog and a drink
from one of our refreshment stands.
- (DOOR CLOSES) - (SOFT) The first fun houses
began traveling around the United States in 1886.
- They were called Happy Houses. - (STATIC BUZZING)
(FADING) Soon after that...
(STATIC BUZZING)
♪♪♪
(GASPS)
(WORN VIDEO PLAYING)
You are very special boys.
All of the power that's in our family,
all of the strength, it's in you and you.
Never, ever let anyone take advantage of you, okay?
- Okay. - Okay.
And with you, the show will go on forever.
BOY: Promise.
Thoth, even after I'm gone.
Promise me the show will go on forever.
Okay, I promise.
I love you boys so much. Give Mom a hug.
- Love you, too. - (GIGGLING)
Aw, that sounds like a fun plan.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, my perfect little clown.
Thank you, Mom.
You're very welcome.
Oh, get that little hair right there.
Do you boys know that I'm the luckiest girl in the world?
- Uh, yeah. - (LAUGHS)
I have the sweetest boys.
(TAPE STOPS)
MOTHER: Thoth, even after I'm gone,
promise me the show will go on forever.
THOTH: Okay, I promise.
MOTHER: I love you boys so much.
(LAUGHTER ECHOES)
(STATIC CRACKLING ON TV)
(KNIFE CLATTERS)
♪♪♪
"Love"?
"Dead parents"?
(TAPE WHIRRING)
Make sure to get just the right amount of paint
- on the brush. - BOY: Okay.
Not too much. Just a little bit at a time
until it looks like the whole brush is covered,
(STATIC CRACKLING)
♪♪♪
What the hell?
(GAGGING)
(SIGHING)
RECORDING: Welcome, welcome, welcome
to the Gaspari Family Circus,
the only circus in the world where everyone performing
is part of the same family, the Gasparis.
(APPLAUSE)
(MOANING)
SARAH: No, no. No.
And we want to thank
all the citizens of Hidden Desert, Nevada,
for letting us make this place our home.
Kody! Kody!
Kody!
(WAILING) Kody!
(SCREAMING)
Is everybody ready for the greatest show on Earth?
Welcome, then, the Gaspari Family Clowns
and their wonderful, hilarious clown cars.
♪♪♪
(CARS CREAKING)
(APPLAUSE)
(WHEELS ROLLING)
(GASPS)
And now turn your attention to our very first act of daring.
Who loves popcorn?
Everybody loves popcorn.
It's America's favorite treat.
With Galco, the Transformer,
and his amazing popcorn trick.
(GAGS)
♪♪♪
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(WHIMPERS)
- (SCREAMING) - (SIZZLING)
(PANTING)
- (CORN POPPING) - (SCREAMING)
(GAGGING)
(WAILING)
Wasn't that great, folks?
Kabam!
(APPLAUSE)
(DAVY MOANS)
Now turn your attention to Ring Number Two
for our next amazing act.
For this, we'll need a volunteer from the audience
to do the amazing, magnificent,
life-distressing fire trick.
- SARAH: No, no, no! - DAVY: Stay away!
- SALLY: No! Get away! - (DAVY WAILS)
♪♪♪
SARAH: No. No.
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SOBBING)
Get away from me!
In the ancient world,
Prometheus came down from Mount Olympus
to give humankind the gift of fire.
Fire has transformed our lives,
has brought us from the caves.
DAVY: No!
Now we bring this piece of history to you,
so turn your attention to Ring Number Two
for the famous, the fantabulous...
Promethean Triangle of Fire!
(SARAH CRYING)
I don't want... Please.
(MATCH STRIKES)
(BOTH GASPING)
No! No! Aah!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
Watch the Promethean fire grow!
No!
Burn. Burn away the caveman,
the primitive from our lives,
and turn us into humans,
purifying our world with the flame of the gods!
- (GIRLS SCREAMING) - No!
Please make it stop.
Make it stop!
(CRYING) Stop it.
(SCREAMING)
(APPLAUSE)
(DAVY SCREAMING)
(SARAH COUGHING)
(DAVY COUGHING)
♪♪♪
Purifying our world. Purifying our world.
(SLOWING) Purifying our world.
Purifying our world.
(SWITCH CLICKS)
- Stop, Dad! - Dad, stop!
BOTH: Stop! No!
MOTHER: I win! (LAUGHING)
BOY: No! Mom.
MOTHER: What are you guys doing over here?
- There's, um... - Did you find anything?
Yeah, we got a few good ones.
(AUSTIN AND SALLY MUTTERING SOFTLY)
♪♪♪
Get Sally. Save Sally!
Save Sally! Go!
Save Sally!
(SHATTERS)
- (FIRE CRACKLING) - Help, please.
Please, please!
Sarah! Sarah!
Are you okay?
Help me unknot.
- Oh, my gosh. - Go. Go. Go. Go.
I got you, okay?
I got her! I got her! I got her!
- Get Jill! Get Jill! - Sorry. Sorry.
AUSTIN: You're okay. You're okay.
- SARAH: I got you, okay? - AUSTIN: It's okay.
- Come on. Go. - SARAH: You got her, right?
- Kody. Kody. - AUSTIN: Davy, leave him!
- Kody. Kody. - Davy, leave him!
Help me with him! Help me bring him.
- AUSTIN: Come on! Go! Go! - You got her, right?
- You got my sister? - Go. Go.
DAVY: Help me with Kody! We can't leave him here!
He's dead! Come on!
Okay.
Let's go.
SALLY: They're so bad.
- AUSTIN: Come on, Davy. - They're... (MUTTERING)
(FIRE CRACKLING)
♪♪♪
- (DEBRIS FALLING) - (GRUNTING)
♪♪♪
Okay. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Austin, I need your help.
- Hurry. - I got her. I got her.
- Okay. Okay. - Sarah, Sarah, my legs.
Okay, so I know the way out from the maze.
Guys, we just have to get there, okay? Any ideas?
I can do it. I can do it. I know where we are.
Wait. Where's Davy? Davy!
Davy! Davy!
- Sarah? - Davy.
He's coming! He's coming! He's coming!
I'm sorry! I couldn't help myself!
I'm not gonna leave Kody here!
Okay. Come on.
I got him! Oh, my God.
You did the right thing, Davy.
I'm not gonna leave him here in this hellhole!
I know. I know.
- We got to go. - Thank you.
(ALL GRUNTING)
AUSTIN: Come on. Come on.
Ow!
SALLY: Guys, I-I need help with him!
I can't carry him anymore!
- We have to carry Jillian! - I know!
- He's slowing us down! - Leave me.
No, absolutely not!
We're leaving Kody if anything, okay?
Jillian is still alive!
We can't just leave him here!
We're not leaving Kody!
Okay, we can put him in the Tunnel of Love, okay?
- Okay. - And he'll be safe there,
- I promise. And then... - Okay.
- I can't... - Sally, come on.
Austin, you need to take...
Fine, but we're coming back for him!
We're getting cops, and we're coming back for him!
- Do you have him? - Okay, Davy, we will.
- Austin, I can't do it. - Come on. Come on.
I got you, Jill. I got you.
Okay. Ready?
- You got it? - I think so.
You got it. Okay, okay. Let's just wait here.
- No. - Oh, no, no!
We'll be home soon.
- I just want it to be over! - Austin!
Hurry!
RECORDING: ♪ Welcome to the Tunnel of Love ♪
- (SOBBING) - Then we go.
♪ Love ♪
♪ Welcome to the Tunnel of Love ♪
- Bye, Kody. - Bye, Kody.
♪ Tunnel of Love ♪
♪ Welcome to the Tunnel... ♪
We should take these.
(WHISPERING) Welcome to the Tunnel of Love.
- Okay, okay. - (CRYING)
Okay. Shh. Come on. Come on. It's just up and to the left.
SARAH: It's just to the left. It's just to the left.
My leg!
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
(SNIFFS)
SARAH: Get down. Get down.
- Get her down. Get her down. - (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
SARAH: It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I know. I know.
I know it hurts.
(LAUGHTER ECHOES)
- Shh. - I know it hurts.
Just breathe. Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe,
DAVY: You guys know the way out?
SARAH: You guys, you guys, just be quiet.
- (LAUGHTER ECHOES) - (HISSES)
You're in a lot of pain. Hold still.
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- Awooo! - (LAUGHTER ECHOES)
I hear something.
All right, you can do it.
You can do it. You can do it.
- Go. Go. - You have to! You have to!
♪♪♪
Whooooo!
- (RECORDING BABBLING) - It hurts!
- No, I know. I know. - It hurts!
Watch out. Watch out.
This is so scary.
(DISTORTED LAUGHTER ECHOES)
Lean on me. Lean on me.
- Jill, come on! - My legs are...
- I know. - Come on.
I'm sorry, Sally.
- Yeah? - Come on.
- This way. - I'm falling.
Come on, Jill. Come on.
- Sarah, stay up! - She's really heavy!
Shh. Okay.
Okay, can we wait for a second?
- Come on. Tighter. - Can we breathe?
Here. Here. You can sit.
- Get down. - RECORDING: You will die soon.
- Everybody dies. - (LAUGHTER ECHOES)
Everybody dies.
- Davy, careful. - Everybody dies.
(LAUGHTER ECHOES)
- Die in pain. - Do you see anything?
- (WHISPERING) Die in pain.
You will die in pain.
- (ROARS) - You will die in pain.
You are about to die.
You will die soon.
- Ooooh. Ooh-hoo. - Sally, this way.
- Okay. When can we go? - You will die.
- Come here. Get set. Get set.
- Ohhhhh! - He's behind the wall.
(RECORDING LAUGHING)
- (POP, POP) - Oooooh!
Cover your eyes. Cover your eyes.
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) - Whoooo!
Go, go, go, go! Baby, go, go, go!
- (RECORDING MOANING) - (SHRIEKS)
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
- Go! - (SCREAMING)
- (POUNDING) - Sarah, my legs!
- Come on! - Come on.
- (RECORDING WAILING) - (LAUGHS)
- Go! - Stop!
- (OVERLAPPING SCREAMING) - Sally!
- Sally!
He's behind us!
SALLY: It's a dead end!
Davy, do not leave her on her own!
Come on!
(YELLS)
- (ROARING) - (SCREAMING)
Get out! Go back!
- (SCREAMING) - Get out! Go back! Sarah!
- Davy! - (THOTH YELLING)
Go, go, go, go!
- (YELLING) - (FEET POUNDING)
Oh, my God. It's closing.
Everybody, just go! Just run!
We'll be there in a second! Come on, Jill!
- It's closing! - I'm stuck!
No, you're not! You're not stuck!
- No, you're not! - Go! Just go!
Aah! It's crushing me!
- Jill, come on! - (SCREAMING)
Come on!
(POUNDING)
- Everyone, pull! - Come on! Help! Get her out!
- (SCREAMS) - Come on!
No, it's okay! Come on.
You got to pick her up. Pick her up. Pick her up.
♪♪♪
SARAH: Th-This is the same room we came through
- when the lights shut off. - Hold on, okay?
Hold on. Hold on. Okay. I have the map.
I-I just need a second to figure it out.
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) - Just wait.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
Okay. Okay.
Come on, Jill.
Jill? Jill?
- Wait. Okay, wait. - Jill!
- No! (SCREAMS) - (SQUELCH)
Jill. (PANTING)
- Jill. Jill. - Jill.
- Ohh. Ohh. - (GASPING)
- Jill. Jill. - Shh. He's coming.
Jill. Jill.
(MOCKING CRYING)
(THOTH SHRIEKING)
- Go! Let's move! - We can't leave her!
Go. Come on, Sarah. Come on. Sarah, no, no, no.
- (WAILING) - (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- We can't. - Come on. Come on.
- Let's go. - (WAILING)
That's it. This way.
It's right here. Right here. Come on.
Take the others with you to the front door, okay? Okay?
- Here's the chart. - Okay.
The exit's that way. Go.
- I'm gonna go find him, okay? - Right.
Okay, I'm gonna go up to the attic,
and I'll distract the clown. You guys go!
I'm staying with you.
- Go. - Come on.
- I'm gonna be staying with... - I'm gonna lead the clown
to the attic so you guys have time to get out, okay?
- I'm staying with you. - No.
No, you're not, Davy.
- You have to go, man. - No.
No, Davy, go!
I'm not gonna let you face that thing alone!
SARAH: Come on. Davy, now!
- Go, Davy! - I'm staying!
I'm staying here!
(SOBS)
Don't worry, baby, okay?
J-Just get out of here. We're right behind you,
- I promise. Just go! - No.
Go, go, go, go, go! Go. Go.
(CRYING)
Damn it, Davy.
(GRUNTING)
I got a bag over here. It's got weapons in it.
Good! Let's fuck this psycho up!
Yo, clown boy! Come and get it!
We're right here, asshole!
Okay.
- Here. This. - Okay. Okay.
This'll do some damage.
Here you go. Okay.
Okay. On my notice.
(CREAKING)
(SLIDING)
Do you think this is enough to kill him?
No, no, but, when he pops out, make for the vents, okay?
Okay. Okay.
♪♪♪
(VENT RATTLING)
Do you think he went after the others?
No, he's definitely here.
(GASPS)
Agh!
- Hit him, Davy! - (CLANGS)
(SCREAMS)
Get going.
(YELLS)
- (GAGS) - Davy!
(GASPS)
(GURGLING SCREAM)
(LAUGHS)
(SLICES)
(MOANING)
(GAGGING)
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
Austin?!
Austin, say something!
(SOBBING)
(BLADE SCRAPES)
- (STABS) - (SCREAMING)
(PANTING)
(DAVY GURGLES)
Davy!
Austin!
Davy!
Austin!
(GAGGING)
Aus... tin.
(GROANS)
Davy?
I can't see anything.
- Agh! - Davy.
(CRYING)
- Davy! - I'm sorry.
It's okay. I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry!
Thank you, Austin.
Thank you for being my brother.
(SOBS)
Davy!
I'm gonna finish this, bro.
I'm gonna finish this.
♪♪♪
(FIRE CRACKLING)
Thoth.
Thoth!
You motherfuckin' clown!
Come give Mommy a hug!
Come and get me, clown boy!
MOTHER: All of the power that's in our family,
all of the strength is in you and you.
(GIGGLES)
Promise me, even after I'm gone,
the show will always go on.
YOUNG THOTH: I promise.
Let's see how you like it, Mama's boy.
(PANEL SLAMS)
(FIRE ROARING)
Wait, wait, wait.
Are they coming?
Did they make it out? Austin!
(DEBRIS FALLING)
Oh, my God.
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