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Confession.
The reconciliation of the penitent.
It is one of the greatest gifts the Church has to offer,
and must never be entered into lightly.
To do so is to participate in the pernicious sin of contempt of the holy.
As a priest, we are privileged to minister this sacrament
this profound act of...
blah, blah, blah, blah.
I hate it.
I mean in practice not in theory. In theory...
it is a beautiful act of contrition and redemption
in reality, I am trapped inside this tiny box for hours
sitting on a hard wooden chair
listening to the inane regurgitation of rote sins till
my butt is numb and my mind mush.
So... when the bishop decides that every perish in the diocese
will have an extended three hour session of confession every
Friday night my first reaction--
heck my secondary
my tertiary reaction
isn't yaaaay.
It's not that I find confession boring.
It's not boredom,
it's hate.
I hate it. Hate. A genuine hate.
And it's not that I don't care about the spiritual well-being of my parishioners.
I do.
That's partially why I hate it.
Of course I didn't always feel like this.
In my early days I was excited about confession.
In fact, I used to worry that I was too excited
that I would derive some sort of sick pleasure in hearing confession
that it'd be titillating in some way listening to people bare their souls.
That I'd revel in it
That I'd chew on those morsel bits of gossip.
I don't worry about that any more.
Turns out I'm not a thirteen year old girl
and gossip is not genuine gossip when it's firsthand.
It's sterile, clinical.
It's the difference between a striptease and dropping your pants in front of a doctor.
I assume.
I suppose it just starts to wear on you.
Confess, confess, confess,
and then they're back the next week.
And the week after that.
And the week after that. And the week after that until...
You start to wonder, did they even mean it?
And that makes you wonder a lot of things...
Well at least confession is still good for self-reflection.
Honestly, what is the appeal of the new atheists?
Just a retreading of old arguments, only less eloquently stated.
Try Sartre,
the arguments are still wobbly, but it makes for a better read.
Father
Rupert Finnegan.
Successful businessman.
Well respected by those who know him least.
Always the first to confession, always opts for face to face confession --
a type of confession that is actually somewhat common
a fact you may be oblivious to if your sole source of Catholicism was the movies.
O God, who by your Holy Spirit make perfect the elect,
pour your heavenly light into the hearts of these your penitent servants,
that they may know and acknowledge all -- all,
their sins -- every single one of them...
...every sin against you,
and, confessing and forsaking them, may obtain mercy
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Amen
Bless me Father for I have sinned,
it has been one week since my last confession, I accuse myself of the following sins.
I lost my temper at another driver.
He was merging and almost--
Not a mortal sin, no need to give me the details.
Um...
Well... I broke the law.
I - I sped.
All week... to and from work.
Maybe five miles, perhaps ten miles over the speed limit.
He also cheats on his wife.
I know this because his mistress confesses it to me.
Not explicitly, but it doesn't take Father Brown to put it together.
I was uncharitable.
Father Brown is a fictional character by G.K. Chesterton.
He solved mysteries --
sorry -- I just thought that reference was a bit obscure.
I didn't want you to think that Father Brown was some highly intuitive priest in the diocese or something.
I saw a homeless man on the street
and I thought I should give him my spare change. But I didn't.
Um...
I also lied.
My friend asked me to help him tear out his deck, and I said I couldn't...
I guess that's about it.
-That's it?
Yeah.
No more sins you might want to unburden yourself with?
No.
So speeding, lying, and not giving change to a homeless man?
Well that's all I can think of at the moment.
Well, there may be some others.
-But those are the biggies?
Yeah, those are the ones I can think of at the moment.
Well... I'll give you a minute.
Nothing comes to mind.
Maybe something sexual, perhaps.
Pornography for instance is a problem in our society.
Are you, you know...
Click, click, click?
I have a content blocker on the internet.
-Oh.
Well, who needs the internet with the way women are dressing these days, am I right?
With their high skirts, low cut shirts, you can see their whole...
regions.
Is that a problem for you?
Sounds like it might be a problem for you Father.
I'm sorry Father.
It just that description was...
very vivid.
But no, I don't have a problem with that.
I suppose I'm... just -- I'm just blessed that way.
Right. Blessed.
But if it were a problem--
It's not.
- But if it were a problem you should confess it, because lust is a serious issue.
You know, Jesus said anyone who lusts after a woman in his heart commits adultery.
And we all know how serious adultery is.
That's so true Father.
Now if you could make an act of contrition
O dear God, I'm heartily sorry for having offended Thee
And I detest all my sins because I dread the loss of heaven
and the pains of hell; but most of all, for having offended Thee
Massive prick
And his wife is such a beautiful woman, so tender nad love, and...
Well, she doesn't deserve this.
- I firmly resolve with the help of thy grace
to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin.
Amen
Father?
Hmm?
My penance?
-Ah. Right.
Three Hail Mary's, and three Our Father's--
Three Hail Mary's and three Our Fathers?
-You're right--
three Hail Mary's, six Our Father's, a decade of the Rosary.
And shove it up your anus.
Oh, shit.
You uh... you here for confession?
Um...
isn't this supposed to be anonymous?
Door number two.
You can go around if you want.
What would be the point of that now?
If it makes you more comfortable.
Nah, I'm not really...
Take a seat.
Or don't.
Alright.
So...
Like, how does this work?
Well, it's customary to begin with "Bless me Father for I have sinned."
But you have like rules though, right?
Like you can't tell anyone about what is said during this, right?
Right.
Like no matter what, right?
No matter what.
Like, even if it's really bad?
Even then.
Like, even if it's like illegal?
Even then.
Like nothing? Like not at all? Like even if it's super illegal?
Infractions, misdemeanors, felonies, you're covered.
Okay, even if I was like Hitler and I was telling you, "yeah, I've been killing like a lot of Jews lately?
Like, shoving them into ovens and shit." You wouldn't tell anyone?
The seal of confession is absolute.
That's messed up.
And have you been, "like killing a lot of Jews" lately?
No.
Then maybe we should stick to your confession.
Alright.
I killed someone.
No you didn't. - What do you mean, "no I didn't?"
I mean precisely that. - Yeah, I did.
No you didn't.
Yes. I did.
Do you want to make a real confession? Or not?
You cannot tell me what my confessions are.
You could start with the sin of lying.
What kind of priest are you?
I'm telling you, I killed a guy.
Fine. Alright. Who'd you kill?
A man.
Just a man? Just a random man?
Yeah, like a homeless guy.
What'd he look like?
Homeless.
How tall?
Like normal height.
Uh-huh. And why'd you kill him?
He was giving me shit.
Literally?
He was hassling me.
Ah, well that seems equitable.
How'd you kill him?
I stabbed him.
Ouch. With a knife?
Yeah, of course with a knife. What the fuck else do you think I stabbed him with?
What kind of knife was it?
I don't know. A knife.
Was it his knife or your knife?
His.
How'd you get the knife from him?
Just took it from him.
Wow.
Yeah. He was coming at me, so I just--
Where?
On the street.
No, I mean where on his body.
In the throat.
Ah because you were mime stabbing below his throat.
Are you sure that he was normal height?
Must have been a lot of blood.
Yeah, pretty nasty stuff. You wouldn't want to know about that.
Fair enough. So you killed him, then what?
Then I thought I should confess, and here I am.
And here you are. Curiously without a drop of blood on you.
Well I washed up.
Pretty thoroughly it would seem,
and yet oddly
not well enough to remove that club stamp from your hand.
Alright, I confess, I didn't kill anyone.
You're pretty good.
Yeah, I'm a regular Father Brown.
Who?
I need to ask you to leave now.
What?
This may be a joke to you, but we take the sacrament of confession very seriously.
Well are you going to leave?
I don't think so.
Other people who actually want to participate in this sacrament need to use the confessional.
Hello? Hello?
Is anyone there?
No one's there
-Even so.
You need to leave.
No.
-No?
No.
You're refusing to leave?
-Looks that way.
Well, this is a new one
You're just going to sit there?
Guess so.
Alright
I give her about five minutes before she's bored out of her mind.
Doesn't that hurt?
Huh?
Your wrist. Doesn't that hurt?
Kinda.
Then why do you do it?
I don't know. I like it. A little pain can be nice.
-Mmm. Present company excluded.
Okay. You need to leave now.
No.
There's somebody else here for confession.
So?
So you need to leave.
You leave.
This is my confessional.
So?
In my head that was a stronger point.
Get out.
No.
I mean it. Get out.
You get out. Take the confession out there.
I can't. What if they're here anonymously?
That side's open.
They're not gonna come in, if you're in here --
I'm not arguing this with you. This is not a debate. You are going to get up, right now, and you are going to exit.
Or what?
-Or what?
Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?
You're gonna put a hex on me?
A hex? I'm not a voodoo priest.
Then what are you gonna do about it?
Okay, young lady.
Oh yeah
Oh Father, yes!
-Are you insane!
Say you're sorry
What?
Oh -- oh yeah on the floor or in the confessional
you dirty boy
You were mean to me. Say you're sorry
Never
Oh yes. Harder. Yes! Down sideways all over pound me!
Okay -- okay, I say I'm sorry and you'll leave?
Yes. YES!
Okay, I'm sorry.
Father Whelan.
-Wh--what are you doing here?
Confession. What do you think?
That... that was just a prank. A bit of a--
It's my confession Father, not yours.
Really it is just a prank.
I believe you.
Shall we?
Father
- Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
It has been three days since my last confession.
And these are my sins.
Father Whelan is one of the oldest and most respected priests in the diocese.
I've taken his confession before and he's taken mine.
Priests confess to one another, that's normal
though... not usually at this hour.
We don't generally want to take away the allotted confession time from the laity.
Recently I've had a very heavy temptation
Deep and penetrating like it's been gnawing at my bones.
A few months ago, a member of my church
a very, very lovely, devout lady -- lost a child.
A little boy.
Terrible accident and so naturally I went to her, I tried to strengthen her
I tried to give her comfort as best I could.
But her reception was always just very, very cold.
That's to be expected.
Yes. Expected.
But still I prayed for her, I prayed with her.
I prayed for peace. I prayed for her strength and understanding
I spoke with her about the glories of suffering
about...
all of the treasures in heaven,
and about the perseverance of the saints.
And then eventually on one visit...
She turned and she looked at me.
Straight in my eye and she said
You could never understand
-You've never had a child
you could never understand my loss
She didn't just speak it
she snarled it
She was in pain
Don't misunderstand me, I didn't begrudge her.
Even as she began to drift from the church I didn't begrudge her.
You know, it's been fifty-two years since my ordination.
I've given a great deal for the cause.
I never had wealth.
I never had a fancy car, or a fancy house.
I never took exotic vacations.
Never got married.
Never had children, and... and never had grandchildren.
And for the huge deep sacrifice I considered for the sake of Christ
my parishioner considered it a deficit in me.
My sacrifice.
And it is a sacrifice.
We choose a life of sacrifice, you and I.
And now as I...
near the end of my race and... the end of my time here on earth
I'm beginning to wonder
Was it all worth it?
Well, Father...
Was it?
Of course. Immeasurably.
-Immeasurably?
I have my doubts.
And that Father, is my sin.
Your act of contrition.
I've prayed it all week.
God the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection
of his Son, has reconciled the world to himself
and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins.
Through the ministry of the church, may God grant you pardon and peace.
And I absolve you of your sins,
in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Father Whelan...
Your penance.
I know my penance.
Okay, look...
Out.
That was not cool, I know that.
Out.
- Hey! Fucksake, I'm trying to say I'm sorry, okay?
Aren't you supposed to be forgiving? Isn't that like, the point?
Okay, I forgive you. Now get out.
Did you see the look on that old guy's face?
Yes. As a matter of fact, I did.
Almost as priceless as yours.
You religious types are so uptight about sex.
Why are you sitting?
I mean, it's just sex. It's not a big deal.
Have you ever had sex?
You're not leaving. Why aren't you leaving?
- I mean, other than teenage boys?
Here we go...
Yes, of course, every priest is a pedophile. I choose my altar boys based on their little head shots.
Do you know, the number of pedophile priests is infinitesimally small,
but hey, let's not let facts or reason get in the way of knocking the Church.
And I'm not minimizing what happened -- it was terrible, it was horrible, inexcusable -- but my goodness
by that standard you must think that every college football coach is a pedophile, or every Hollywood film director
and at least we do not give our pedophiles awards!
It was a joke.
Sorry. You touched a nerve.
Like the way you touch little boys?
Okay. Alright, alright, you don't touch little boys.
But... have you ever touched a woman -- and I don't mean recently, I mean like ever?
Have you ever had sex?
I'm not discussing this with you.
Ugh, see? So uptight.
This is not uptight
Are you embarrassed?
No--
I won't laugh.
Why aren't you leaving!?
I'm interested.
Have you had sex?
Please leave.
Why won't you answer the question? I promise I will not laugh.
I have asked you nicely to leave.
And I've asked you nicely if you've ever had sex.
No. Okay? No, I haven't had sex.
That's so weird.
-Uh-huh.
You're so old. That's so crazy.
Oh, so it's "just sex", no big deal. But it's somehow a big deal that I haven't had it?
Well, which is it? Is sex a big deal or isn't it a big deal?
Because if it isn't a big deal, then why is it a big deal that I haven't had it?
I dunno. It just is.
I don't know what I'd do without sex. I love sex.
- You shouldn't even be having sex. You look like a child. How old are you?
Screw you, I'm twenty-one.
Yeah, let me see a license.
Does your father know you're having sex?
No.
Well you should stop. Wait till you're married. It's the right thing to do and it's better for you.
Married people have better sex anyway.
-Yeah? Says who? You?
-Studies.
Bullshit.
Numerous studies.
Married people have more sex than those who aren't, and are more sexually fulfilled.
Bullshit.
It's true. All of those sexual liberation things -- it's a joke. Causes nothing but pain.
And pleasure.
- A little pleasure, followed by a lot of pain.
Then you're doing it wrong.
Well not you, obviously, but those studies are.
What about oral?
What?
Have you ever had oral?
I already told you, I haven't had sex.
Oral's not sex.
Oh? What you're referring to... oral hygiene?
Yes, oral sex, is sex, it's right there in the title. It's part of the definition.
Okay. What about a hand jibber?
A what?
You know, a handjob. Stroking the pope hat.
Stop doing that.
No.
Slight lie.
Jennifer Conner in the eleventh grade.
I... still think about it -- her, I still think about her from time to time.
Have you ever even kissed a girl?
Yes.
And not just your mom?
Yes.
Awww. Who'd you kiss?
I had a girlfriend in high school.
Awww. She dump you, is that why you became a priest?
That's what you think isn't it?
The only way you could fathom how anyone could possibly choose a life of celibacy and dedication to God
is in a state of crippling emotional despair.
Well, let me enlighten you,
there is far more to life than the shallow interrelations of boys and girls
or the world's juvenile, insatiate obsession with carnal lust.
The very notion that the mashing of genitals
can hold a candle to the richness that is found in relationship to Christ
or the eternal significance of service to his calling
is absurd and obscene, and frankly, offensive.
I chose this life from a fullness of heart, not a broken one.
Okay. So, she dumped you.
Yes.
But that is not why I'm a priest.
Yeah, I dumped my boyfriend too.
He didn't really seem to care how I felt or... you know.
Yeah. Well, it's probably for the best.
Yeah, well he was being a real asshole.
Is that really necessary?
-What?
Your language.
What? He was being an asshole.
We're in the house of the Lord.
- Yeah, I'm pretty sure God knows he was being an asshole too.
Even so.
So, do just plan on sitting here all night?
What? You got somewhere you got to be?
No.
Relax, if somebody comes in I'll leave. Alright?
You said that last time.
Yeah, and I did leave... eventually.
I swear okay? I swear to God. Okay?
To God even.
Okay.
You know, you're not very welcoming.
This is why people don't like religion.
This is why?
Yeah.
This?
Yeah.
This? This scenario here is why people don't like religion?
Yeah.
A priest being curt to an individual who intentionally and maliciously tried to
falsely portray said priest as a sexual deviant
is the reason people don't like religion? That's what you're saying? That's your argument?
Well, I'm saying it's in the top ten at least.
I see. So you actually liked religion prior to this?
I'm a spiritual person. I just don't care for organized religion.
So you're for disorganized religion?
You dislike that we meet at a designated time, at a designated place in a coordinated fashion?
No. What you mean is, you don't favor doctrine.
You dislike that we make truth claims,
that we say things about the nature of God and man, and worse, that we make claims about right and wrong.
Because God forbid that morality were objective,
and we actually find judgment to be a good and useful tool for right living and a just society.
Because if that were true you might actually have a need for this box and this place.
The empty-headed happiness of vague spirituality is that way.
I have no idea what you just said.
All I'm saying is that if you have no need for my religion and my confessional, then you are free to leave.
In fact, I encourage it.
-Who's that?
My mom.
She know you're here?
Yeah. It's fine.
You fighting with her?
No.
What the hell do you want?
Is everything alright in there?
Yeah, yeah, I just missed the kneeler thing.
Alright. There we go. Bless me Father, yadda, yadda...
- Let me stop you right there son. How much have you had to drink?
Two beers officer and that is it.
You wish to be absolved of your drunkenness?
Hells yea. You know what -- my... my friend --
I have a friend, and he says that confession gets rid of hangovers.
And I could really use that right about now, because I got a job interview in the AM.
Do you have any other mortal sins you'd like to confess?
Ugh, I don't know.
Well listen, I'm going to call you a cab.
And when you're sober you can come back to confession. Soon.
Your penance is do without alcohol for two weeks.
What about my penis?
Penance! Penance.
Yes, hello, I'd like a cab...
-Oh god.
-Nevermind
Oh, holy shit
You're still here? Good. You can give me a hand.
I am not touching that.
Of course, far be it for someone of your generation to get their hands dirty.
There's a drug store across the street. Would you get me an air freshener?
You can keep the change.
All of it?
What's gotten you so wound up?
Are you going to do this for me or not?
Fine.
I'll be your errand bitch.
You're not my erra--
And hurry. Please. Thank you.
Here's your air freshener.
Thank you.
What?
I dunno. You're acting funny.
-Huh?
-You're all jittery.
I'm not jittery.
You are jittery.
I'm jittery because I want my confessional to not smell like vomit?
-No.
Are we done here?
Are you expecting someone?
Yes. Parishioners.
I think you should be on your way now shouldn't you?
I mean you've had your fun
you've made your jokes, you've had your kick
that's enough right?
Unless of course there's some actual reason why you came here.
Well?
Thanks for the change Padre
Mary.
Hey.
How are you?
Good.
Come in, come in, have a seat.
Thanks.
How are you?
Good.
Mary Finnegan
the only real fault in her, is who she chose to marry -- massive prick.
So... light traffic today?
-Mmm?
You're a bit early.
Oh goodness, am I really that boring and predictable?
-No. I'm sorry, I didn't mean--
No, no, it's fine--
I don't think you're boring--
Certainly seems boring. Isn't variety supposed to be the spice of life?
Well, you can substitute with oregano.
I suppose it's not the worst thing to be boring.
- Predictable. Not boring. Never boring.
Can anything be predictable, and not boring?
Of course.
-Like what?
The sunrise.
Predictable. Not boring. Never boring.
You're just the sunrise.
So... shall we get started?
Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been a week since my last confession.
These are my sins.
I gossiped.
I spoke poorly about a family member of mine.
And I enjoyed doing it.
I had feelings of jealousy over a friend of mine. Her life...
it just... it just seems so perfect,
I can be resentful of it.
Nobody has a perfect life. Believe me.
-Yeah, I suppose you would know.
And uh... we all want things that we don't have.
What is it?
I didn't want to come today.
I've been struggling with something, and I'm...
well, I'm embarrassed.
Don't be.
I thought about confessing anonymously, but seeing as how I'm such a creature of habit...
I'm sure you would have noticed my absence, or recognized my voice.
Mary, this is a safe place.
You can tell me anything. It won't leave here.
I've been having impure thoughts about a man.
And uh... do you immediately pray to banish these thoughts and temptations?
I enjoy them.
Often times I don't even feel guilty.
What should I do Father?
Well uh, this man is he a -- a fantasy figure, that you're having these thoughts about?
Is he a model or an actor, or... someone in your life?
He's someone in my life.
I see.
Well then it would be prudent to banish those temptations.
Don't be around him, if you can.
I'm obliged to be around him.
I see.
Well, it's going to be very important then to avoid any compromising situations.
Don't be alone with him.
That also, might be problematic.
- There's no temptation to act on these thoughts.
I mean, it's really ridiculous, and I would never cheat on my husband.
It's just that... I can't seem to stop the thoughts.
We all struggle with forbidden thoughts.
How are things with your husband?
They're fine.
No they're not. I don't know why I said that.
We haven't been good in a long time. Rupert, he's been very busy. And...
it seems, it sort of seems like he's uninterested in me.
I mean we haven't... connected...
we haven't -- we haven't felt connected in a long time.
And I just can't change it... I...
Has he said anything to you?
Mary, your husband--
I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked. That's completely inappropriate.
It's just that, I don't feel like I know what's going on anymore.
And what is it, that you think I would know?
I don't know.
Yes you do.
That he's having an affair.
And why would you think that?
Because I'm insecure, and silly.
No you're not.
I mean -- I mean it's not silly to be jealous about your husband.
It means that you care.
Thank you Father. You always know exactly what to say to help me.
Well, about these thoughts, we should keep them in line.
We should not allow them to take root. To fester. To grow. Lest we... stumble.
Okay
Anything else?
No.
Well then let me pray for you.
I recommend to your most Sacred Heart who have now confessed to me,
asking that you guard her from relapse.
After the misery of this life lead her with me into the joys of eternal life. Amen.
A Hail Mary, and a decade of the rosary.
Thank you Father.
What are you doing?
Good confession Father?
What are you doing?
- I saw her as she came in. Oh my god!
What?
You dirty little rascal.
- What are you blathering-- - You like her
What?
That woman that was just in here.
What are you talking about--
You were counting down till she got here.
You're out of your mind.
- You were fixing your hair. - Would you keep it down?
- You like her! - She's a married woman.
Oh my god! You like a married woman!?
Stop saying that.
You have the hots for a married woman!?
You're being ridiculous, I'm a priest.
Dirty priest.
You're being ridiculous.
So what's it about her that does it for you?
Nothing.
It looked like she had a pretty nice bod for an old lady.
Does she now?
Oh, don't pretend like you didn't notice.
Commenting on the physique of one of my parishioners is not appropriate.
Yeah, well fantasying about screwing them is probably even less appropriate, and I bet you do that.
I do not.
Hey, look, I get it. Like I said sex isn't a big deal.
Yeah, well it would be a big deal. It would be a very big deal. If it were true.
So you don't fantasize about fucking her?
Don't talk about her like that.
-Sorry. Must be true love.
Or maybe your spank bank is just rated PG-13.
You fantasize about kissing her? Holding her hand, whispering sweet Bible verses in her ear?
Absolutely not.
- You know it's a sin to lie. - I'm aware.
It's like, one of the ten commandments, I'm pretty sure.
- And you're under oath. - Not true.
And the big man is listening.
Telling the truth. It's like really important.
It's probably one of the most important things. Honesty.
Oh really? Okay so...
truth is important to you?
It's important to God, Father.
Well then God must be very disappointed in you.
Just in the time you've been here you've fabricated stories--
-That was a joke--
You have outright lied.
-When!?
Alright. Fine.
You're right.
So I'll tell you what -- you can ask me any question, I swear
I'll answer honestly, if you do the same.
It'll be like truth or dare.
I never much cared for that game.
You know you just can't have truth without trust.
That's the only way this works.
How do you know you can trust someone?
You can't know for sure. You just have to try first.
Okay. So let's try. Truth or dare Father.
Okay just truth, but I get to go first.
Fine.
Why did you come to confession tonight?
Because I wasn't ready to go home.
That's it?
Your question is up. My turn.
Do you like that lady that was just in here?
Yes.
I knew it!
I like most of the people in my parish.
No -- no do you "like" her like her?
Your time is up. My question: Why don't you want to go home?
Cause.
That's not an answer. Why?
Cause I don't really wanna see my mom, or her boyfriend.
So do you like her, like her?
And don't act like you don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
Yes. I do.
But I'm not proud of that fact, and I would never act on it.
I think it's sweet.
It is not sweet. It's not appropriate.
That is like your favorite word or something.
What?
Appropriate. Everything is either appropriate or not appropriate.
Or appropriate this, appropriate that.
Inappropriate.
You like the girl, so why can't you just like the girl? Why do you have be ashamed about it?
Because it's inappro-- it's not right.
You don't believe that.
-No?
No.
Because if you thought it was a shit thing, you'd call it a "shit thing." Not "inappropriate".
You're right, unless of course I had a moderate vocabulary, in which case I just might use those terms.
If someone does something I think is wrong, that pisses me off, because it's wrong -- you know?
Your point being?
You don't seem bothered by it, so it can't be wrong.
I see.
Well, the Church has moved past flagellation.
Like farts and shit?
-What?
-Nothing.
-What?
-Nothing. Nevermind.
So all I'm saying is there's no shame in sexual desire. The heart wants what it wants.
"And the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure."
-What the hell does that mean?
It means it's my turn.
Your mother's boyfriend, do you dislike him?
No it's not like that. I like him.
He's cool.
So what do you fantasize about when you think about your lady?
Is this going to be your only line of questioning?
Yup.
I try not to.
That's not my question.
But if I do dwell on such impulses
then a thought that keeps recurring deals primarily with punching her husband in the face and running away with her.
It centers on some desire to rescue her.
She's a sweet woman, and her husband is...
He's just not a very good man.
Why don't you want to see your mother?
Because I hate her.
What's wrong with this lady's husband? Is he cheating on her?
You are entitled to honest answers about my life, not someone else's.
Got it. He's cheating on her.
I didn't say that.
-Didn't have to.
Why do you hate your mother?
-I dunno.
She doesn't even deserve it really
she's been alright, like she's not gonna win awards or anything,
but she lets me do what I want I guess.
And she's been dealt a pretty shit hand too. So, all things considered, it's fine.
It's just... when she's happy I can't be.
What do you mean by that?
Does the lady know you like her?
No. What did you mean by that, if your mother is happy then you can't be?
That's just the way it works out. Does the lady like you?
She might.
Why are you at odds with your mother?
You think she actually likes you?
I can't discuss that.
What do you mean you can't discu--
She told you in confession!?
I didn't say that.
Holy shit.
Again, I did not say that.
Why does she like you?
I mean, you're a priest.
I'm also a man.
Yeah that can't even fuck.
I can. I have the parts. I choose to abstain.
Oh. Oh okay so she wants to ride your parts because you're hard to get. That's the attraction.
I wouldn't say that, and I certainly wouldn't use those words.
There might be some forbidden fruit kind of attraction.
Also, I'm an authority figure...
...of sorts. The relationship between priest and parishioner can be somewhat intimate.
Lots of people fall in love with their psychiatrists, it's much the same.
Hearing their troubles, helping them.
Yeah, makes me wet.
Okay so you like her, she likes you, she's married to a dirt bag, so what's the problem?
Vows, for one. Mine to the Church, her's to her husband.
So you would rather be in this box everyday than be out there with that girl?
I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it.
I've thought about it. Increasingly.
It's not that simple.
Yes it is.
You know you're so lucky. What you want is right there, all you have to do is reach out and grab it.
Not everybody has that.
- At what cost? Do you even consider such things?
Like what? Like their marriage? He's cheating on her. It's over.
Not just that. The cost to the Church, the cost to Christ.
The cost to everything I've dedicated my life to and lived in service of.
So you're saying no priest has ever quit before?
-No good priest.
So what? You're not a good priest, that doesn't make you a bad man.
You can still believe in God or whatever.
It's not giving up everything. Just this box.
And maybe a few other things.
You're a pretty sharp kid.
You're intuitive.
Yeah. Ricky -- that's my mom's boyfriend -- he says that I'm very mature for my age.
Oh, someone's coming.
Ah, could you stick around for a while? I want to talk to you some more.
Oh. Really?
Yeah.
Okay. Glad this session was helpful for you Father.
Let me help you, here.
There you go, there you go
Thank you.
Okay.. Just give me a minute... to catch my breath...
And this is what I mean.
This is why I don't hang it all up.
Because every once in a while some lost soul at the end of his days reflects on his life
and realizes how desperately he needs forgiveness and a Savior.
And that's how I can stomach this box, because in those moments, this is a place of redemption.
And that's worth seeing.
It makes everything else seem silly and trite.
I'm so glad you have chairs in here.
I don't think I could've done those kneelers.
I thought this was suppose to be anonymous.
Oh, we have another booth for that.
We really should mark them better, shouldn't we?
Yeah.
But it has kneelers, so...
This is a safe place.
Do you want me to say a pray for you?
No, no, no.
Forgive me Father, uh, for I have sinned, uh
It's been... thirty, thirty some odd years since I've done this.
Long time.
Yeah, it just never really suited me.
Things change.
Yeah, they do.
The doctors they uh...
told me I got a month.
Maybe less -- in case you're wondering. I know people usually tend to wonder.
So I just figured I'd get my house in order. You know?
That's a very common sentiment, I've heard it many times.
Facing our mortality does tend to help us understand our need to get right with the Lord.
Yeah, well that's what I'm doing, just trying to cover my bases.
-Your bases?
Yeah. Like you said, just getting right.
Right.
So... your sins are?
Many.
I guess I should just start with my favorite.
Prostitutes.
I just can't get enough of them. I mean... I just
I got a taste, you know what I mean?
Drugs.
Prostitutes and drugs kinda go together. You know what I mean?
I've done them all.
Peyote, weed, mescaline, coke, heroin, tar heroin, meth.
I mean you name it, I've done it. If I ain't done it, it probably ain't worth doing.
Light adultery.
"Light adultery" what is that?
- Heavy petting. I was drunk, she was drunk.
Several occasions.
Petty felonies... theft -- mostly theft. You know it's the kind of stuff when you're exploring. Kid stuff, you know.
Strip clubs. You guys got a problem with that too right?
That reminds me, I always wondered about that.
You know if lusting after a woman and wanting to fuck her -- excuse me, screw her
Well I mean, if that's the same, if it's going to cost against me the same
Then I might as well get my dick wet right?
-Um...
-Street fights. Mostly.
With a few people that deserved it.
Spent a couple of nights in jail.
I don't suppose that's a sin, but maybe what landed me in jail was.
Got to do what you got to do.
I read my neighbors mail. I mean I'm out here I'm done. I think that's about it.
Yeah.
Pretty full life huh?
Well.
Oh.
And I lied.
Oh sure everybody lies, but some are worse than others.
And what was the worst one?
Probably about my cousin.
And what was the lie that you told to your cousin?
Not to her.
She said I molested her.
I would not have said that. I would not have called it molesting.
But she was a drama queen. And she went running and told the family,
they confronted me and I told them she was lying, that she was full of shit,
and that she was batshit crazy.
And now...
well I wasn't entirely, completely truthful.
But they believed me, and she was a drama queen.
She was always playing the victim. She just needed to be the victim. She just...
Was always pulling shit like, so they didn't believe her.
Well, maybe some of the family members did. But...
She was always a drama queen though.
Killed herself like ten, twelve years ago, which is just the kind of person she is. You know?
Always needed to be the center of attention.
Just drama, drama, drama, drama, drama
Always drama.
So, what can you do, right?
So do your thing.
My thing?
Yeah, absolve me.
There is no absolution without contrition.
- Huh?
You don't seem like you regret the choices that you've made.
Uh, well, uh, I'm just trying to cover my bases here padre.
You know I...
I don't know what else to do.
So you just, do whatever it is you got to do to absolve me if there's a God.
If?
If there's a God?
I don't know.
You asking me?
Yet you're deeply, profoundly, sorry for all of the wrongs you have caused to this person
who may or may not exist?
Yeah. Sure.
Whatever, I'm just trying to make things right between me and the man upstairs. So...
Let's do that.
I can't help you if there is no contrition.
- I'm sorry. Okay?
- Genuine contrition.
I'm very sorry. Okay? I will do some Hail Mary's.
I will cross myself, I'll drink the wine, I'll bathe in the holy water.
Get out.
What?
GET OUT!
-You've got to be kidding me.
Get the hell out of my confessional.
You can't do that.
HEY! HEY!
-Not now!
-Gees, what's up your butt?
What did I say to you!
Excuse me?
Uh... sorry.
I--
Please proceed.
Bless me Father for I have sinned.
It has been a month since my last confession
- and I accuse myself of the following sins.
I've committed adultery Father.
I slept with a married man.
No kidding.
I'm a home wrecker.
- Well, you certainly seem distraught over it.
I am Father, I am.
- And I'd believe that, and have hope for you,
if for a single minute you would actually stop screwing Rupert Finnegan.
You still in there Charlotte?
Charlotte. I asked you a question. Are you still in there?
Yes Father.
-Good.
- Now listen to me closely Charlotte, you have been playing this little game far too long
-and I'm getting sick of it.
You come here all contrite, on your knees pleading for forgiveness
only to turn around, drop to your knees and service Rupert Finnegan.
I don't know, do you just like being on your knees, Charlotte? Is that it?
You like being on your knees?
-No.
-What's that?
No.
- See, now then the only alternative is that this is a big joke to you.
It isn't.
- No? - No.
You slander the sacrament, you treat it like a get out of jail free card.
Shed a few crocodile tears, make yourself feel better between trysts.
- Your sins are not forgiven Charlotte.
- You are not absolved. You're a bad actress.
- Did you even considered Mary in any of this?
Yes Father, that's why I'm asking her forgiveness.
-Not the Holy Virgin.
Finnegan. Mary Finnegan.
The one you're stabbing in the back.
A beautiful, wonderful, lovely woman, who has done absolutely nothing to you.
-You're going to hell Charlotte.
Help me Father. Help me.
-You want absolution?
Yes Father.
-Then you prove it with action.
I'll end it. I swear I'll end it.
-That's not enough.
And what should her penance be?
Can I just allow myself to do this?
Yes. I think I will.
This is what you're going to do.
You're going to go to Mary. Now.
It's out of my hands now.
What the hell has been going on in here?
I'm quitting the priesthood.
What?
I quit.
No shit?
No shit.
Okay.
So what now?
I could use a drink.
There's nothing cheaper.
What the hell?
I'm twenty-one.
You got ID?
Fine.
-See?
- Pretty good. Give me a couples hours, it'll start looking real.
- What, are you auditioning for a job as a bouncer or something?
- Not a bad idea. I need the work.
My old guidance counselor says you need skills in this marketplace.
You have any skills?
Nope.
Well I work at SafeWay.
I could put in a recommendation.
You could work as bag boy.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
I guess I didn't really think this through.
Think what through?
The cost.
What about her? You're still going to go for her, right?
Well you better.
You can't chicken out now, that's what this whole thing was about. Right?
No.
Not just that. It's more than that.
I don't see the point of this anymore.
I'm not helping anybody, and nobody wants to be helped. So..
Why should I sacrifice? Why should I be alone?
Well... it's not all bullshit, is it?
I mean, some people might need confession, right?
Do you?
-No. But that's me.
It's not like everyone.
If you don't think you're a sinner, then you don't need a Savior,
and you don't need this box, and you certainly don't need me.
So, this isn't exactly a celebration?
No. It's not.
Sorry.
Thanks.
Really?
Well alright.
Is that how it normally tastes?
Yuck, no wonder people don't go to church.
So why'd you want me to stick around?
Huh?
Well you asked me stay.
Oh. Yeah.
-What did you want?
Ah...
It doesn't matter anymore.
- I'm sorry Father, I didn't see--
-No, no, no.
It's fine. We were just finishing our session.
Don't forget your penance.
Thank you, Father... sir.
- I uh...
I needed to talk to you.
-Of course.
Charlotte came to see me.
Did you know?
Mary, the sacrament of confe--
Did you know?
Yes.
I must look like a complete idiot to you.
No. Of course not.
I'm so embarrassed. I'm so ashamed.
Don't be.
It's not your shame. It's his.
Have you talked to him?
I called him.
Screaming.
He denied the whole thing. He said she was crazy, and that I was crazy.
He just kept lying
one big lie.
My marriage... my marriage.
What do I do Father? What do I do?
Divorce him.
Divorce him?
Mary, you deserve someone better than him.
You deserve someone who can love you the way you should be loved.
Who won't hurt you. Who won't lie to you.
You're an amazing woman. And anyone who doesn't see that isn't worthy of you.
What are you doing?
I--
What did you think you were doing?
-Mary--
I thought -- your confession--
My confession?
Mary I -- I love you.
You love me?
-Yes.
I have for a while now.
Mary--
-Please don't touch me.
- I'm sorry, it shouldn't have happened like this--
-I need to leave now.
- No please, please, please, just listen to me
- Please just let me go - I'm sorry.
- Please just listen to me and I can explain.
-Please get out of the way.
- Let me explain. - I just want to go.
Mary I'm leaving the priesthood, okay, I am not a priest anymore? I'm quitting.
What?
We can do something. We can be together.
- Please stop. I just-- - Listen, listen
If you don't let me go, I'm going to scream--
-I don't understand
you like me, I know you do.
Mary, Mary, please
-What the hell is going on here?
-What are you doing here?
I came to have a word with the Father.
He's putting ideas in people's heads.
-Mary please listen to me--
What the hell is going on?
Mary?
Answer me right now.
-He tried to kiss me.
He what?
-He's in love with me.
You tried to kiss my wife?
What do you care?
Did he tell you?
he sent Charlotte to say those things to you?
He told her she'd burn in hell if she didn't.
He manipulated that poor woman into lying to you.
- Oh come on Rupert. How about for just once you confess your sins?
Rupert! Rupert!
Hey!
-Rupert! Rupert!
He's lying to you Mary.
You're full of crap.
Mary! Mary!
You're through buddy, you know that?
I'm gonna get your ass defrocked.
Get the fuck out of here.
Dick bag.
Get out.
Let me help you up.
I don't want your help. Just leave me.
Look I think that what--
-Get out!
Are you deaf! Are you stupid! Just get out!
This whole night you haven't listened to a word I've said!
You've just been sitting here, pestering me,
bugging me with your goddamn stupid made-up stories and your niggling questions
and your idiotic advice!
And I must be a goddamn fucking idiot, to even remotely consider listening to whatever insipid inanity
spewing forth from your stupid mouth, and stupid lips!
You don't know anything about anything!
You're a fucking teenager, with teenager problems.
You have a silly crush on your mother's boyfriend and you think understand everything about real love and loss!
Yeah, that's right! I pieced that retarded puzzle together, I'm a regular Father fucking Brown!
Oh Ricky, yeah he's cool. Ricky says I'm very mature for my age.
I can't be happy if my mom is happy.
Grow up!
You treat your mother like garbage because you have a childish crush on her boy toy?
You think that gives you depth?
You think that gives you a deep understanding of the human condition?
Get out.
You think you know me?
You don't know shit.
Fine. Now get out.
You're wrong about me. You were wrong from the start.
Fine. Whatever. Just get out now before I throw your ass out.
I did kill some one.
Yeah, that's right, the homeless guy.
No.
My kid.
- And you're wrong about another thing too.
Me and Rick.
It's not a childish crush.
I love him.
And he loves me.
And I slept with him.
Did you hear that Father?
I fucked him.
And not just once.
I slept with him... I slept with him, many times.
And then I got pregnant.
And I wanted to keep it.
I wanted to have a family. But Ricky...
Ricky couldn't have that. Couldn't let me mom find out.
So he took me down, he helped me fill out the paperwork.
He even paid for it.
And I didn't want him to be unhappy. So I did it.
I did it.
And I wish to God I could take it back and...
And you know what?
You know what?
The bitch is, now, Ricky won't even look at me in the fucking face.
I can't even look at myself in the face.
I feel like I'm such a -- I'm such a fuck up.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry Father.
-No, no
Your sins are forgiven.
Now go, and sin no more.
Good luck.
-Thanks. You too.
-Come by any time.
Forgive me Father for I have sinned...