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that consumed your thoughts?
Made everything and everyone else just disappear?
How can you settle for anything less after that?
I don't understand what you're saying.
What the hell is the matter with you?
Hey!
You gotta hold still, I'm trying to help you.
Get away!
Look, I did not know she was gonna bet there all right.
No.
I swear to God.
Oh, Vincent, did you really write that scene for me?
You're just fucking exaggerating now!
She cannot even act.
Why are you doing this?
You think you're so talented, eh?
That's what you think.
All your movies are shit, okay?
No one wants to work with you except that stupid slut.
Come here.
See what you get?
You're fucking crazy, you know that?
Yeah and you love it!
Fucking crazy.
Annalisa.
Annalisa?
Dear Vincent, I'm sorry,
but I cannot live like this anymore.
We are killing each other and the beautiful love we share.
We need some time apart.
I'm flying back home to stay with my Mom for now.
I'll call you when I arrive.
I'm sorry, but I didn't know what else to do.
Love, Annalisa.
I wanted to make a film about love.
I wanted to make a film about...
My vision for this film.
Goddammit.
I wanted to explore a time in my life.
I wanted to make a film about love.
I wanted to make a film about...
I wanted to make a film about the fucking
garbage truck going away.
That's what I wanted to make a film about.
What are you trying to do?
I wanted to make a film that...
Okay.
I wanted to make a film.
What did I want?
I wanted to know if it was real.
I wanted to know if you were real.
Oh God.
Do not tell me I am still in love with this woman, I--
Nico.
Are you ready?
Uh, not really.
You wear the suit I bought you, right?
No.
Oh, come on, man.
This is the biggest cinema in Malta!
Isn't it the only cinema in Malta?
Yes, but it's big.
Oh, and we have that meeting with
those producers later on as well.
Yeah, I know.
Hey, my friend, be focused.
This is the most important day of your career, eh?
Of our careers.
Oh, Vincenzo!
Look, I just don't know if I can do this Q&A thing, man.
Heh?
Of course you can.
Well, I mean, you have to.
Just imagine that no one else is in the room.
Yeah, that's gotta work.
You make the joke?
Yes, Nico, that was a joke.
Not funny.
Look, I.
Jesus Christ!
Don't you ever knock?
What for?
I've got the key.
Nico, I gotta go.
Wear the suit!
Look, I'm a little busy here, Joe.
Yeah, you know what, just help yourself.
Why you drink that wine?
Why?
Because I like it.
I know plenty of better wines than that.
Well, it's what I used to drink when I was here.
How can you taste the future
if you keep drinking the past?
You have a date?
A date?
No, no, definitely not a date.
Well, it should be, you bloody never leave it here.
Don't worry, I know some girls for you, mate.
Oh, I'm sure you do.
Hey, some owe me favours.
All right?
I can ask if they're transferable.
You know what, I'm good.
Thank you though.
Ha, that's what you think!
Look, is there something I can help you with?
Now that you mention it, there is a little something.
Look, no, serious.
All right, my cousin is getting married.
Again, all right.
The first one didn't work out.
She wasn't nice to him.
She couldn't even bloody cook.
One time I went over for lunch, it was a fucking disaster.
I had to call the ambulance, fire brigade,
police department.
It was a bloody kershuffle, it was madness.
Burnt the house down with the food.
Burnt it, gone.
Anyway, I was thinking because I think from time to time.
I like to think in my life.
Sometimes a man has to take time and just think, okay?
So this is what I was thinking because I know you.
And you make the video, okay.
That, and they don't have much money now because--
Okay, look, the thing is, so, Joe, I don't shoot weddings.
I'm really sorry.
You're gonna have to find someone else
for that one though, pal, all right?
You have the camera?
Yes, Joe, I have a camera.
Okay.
Take it, point it, press the button.
Even a bloody donkey can do it.
I'm trying to make you a favour, mate.
Get your name out there in Malta, all right?
If I say yes right now will you leave?
But for free you shoot it.
I would love to shoot it for free.
Ah, that's it, mate. Okay.
That's a deal. That's it, good stuff.
That's the lock in contract, mate.
All right.
- Well, talk to you later. - That's it.
Signed, sealed, and delivered!
Done, talk to you later, buddy.
Before I forget, there's one more thing.
The rent.
What about the rent?
I already paid you in full.
I know you paid it.
Now I need some more.
Okay.
- Okay. - Okay.
I'll be back.
I'll be back, I'll collect it soon.
Okay?
Looking forward to seeing you again.
Okay, I'll pop in again, eh?
'Cause I like to pop in.
I don't like to make appointments.
That's what you do.
I don't make appointments!
- Live in the moment, buddy. - Everything's a bloody
appointment these days.
Bloody mate, just come over, talk like a human.
Okay, bye.
Vincent.
Vincent!
You started smoking again.
What are you doing here?
European premiere, right?
I couldn't miss this.
What, did you walk out?
I just needed a minute.
Nervous?
I can't believe you're here.
I'm here.
Eh, Vincenzo!
Who's that?
I have to go.
Can we grab a coffee or something after?
There's gonna be a Q&A.
I don't really think I'm gonna have time.
Please.
Just be cool, man.
Cool.
I loved it.
I've only got like half an hour.
We can go to our old bar.
You lost weight.
Stress.
You haven't changed.
Starting to get older, wrinkles and everything.
You look good.
Wow, your first movie.
I knew you would do it.
Yeah, well.
We'll see what the audience has to say
after the Q&A, right?
Who cares what they say?
You made your first movie.
I'm very proud of you.
Proud.
Of course.
How was the premiere in New York?
It was good.
Mostly positive reviews.
A few negatives ones.
Try not to pay as much attention to those.
Any publicity's good publicity.
I guess so.
Story looked familiar.
Yeah, well, write what you know.
Isn't that what they taught us?
And you know this story?
This is, uh.
Crazy, I know.
What's it been, like six years?
Five.
Five years, uh huh.
Is that you, is that really you?
I have so many questions.
I don't even know if I want the answers anymore.
I do.
Tell me everything.
Are you married?
Kids?
Still in New York?
How is your Dad?
All right, just one at a time.
Are you married?
No.
Kids?
No, how about you?
Sorry, excuse me.
Excuse me.
So anyone working here today or what?
We are in Europe.
That's true, this would not happen in the States.
Relax, it's not such a bad thing.
I miss your Dad, you know.
He's so funny, I really love him.
Yeah.
What's wrong?
He died.
What?
Oh my God.
How?
When?
It was like over a year ago now.
And you didn't tell me?
What happened?
It was pancreatic cancer.
They found it by accident, actually.
It was...
Not good.
I'm sorry.
The doctors, couldn't they do anything?
It was too aggressive.
They caught it too late.
You know, he hated going to doctors and stuff like that.
I'm so sorry.
Oh my God.
I think about him often.
Yeah. I really do.
He was such a lovely man.
I mean, he was a crazy son of a bitch though.
You know that.
Vincent.
It's true like...
Why is it that when somebody dies everybody
makes them out to be saints, you know?
It's bullshit.
Just because someone's dead we can't
remember them for who they really were, good and bad?
He was fucking crazy.
You know, he had the fuse of a matchstick.
He also had a heart of gold.
I love him, I mean, he was my Dad.
There was a lot of tough love there,
but he would do anything for the people that he cared about.
That's true.
He definitely marched to the beat of his own drum.
Didn't care what anybody else thought about him.
Everyone has to go, he used to say.
Don't act like you won't.
Good advice.
Yeah.
Yeah, didn't really sink in until he died though.
I think it actually gave me the strength to make a movie.
Really?
Yeah, I was terrified for a long time, you know.
What if people don't like my work?
What if I'm not as good as I thought I was?
What if my ambition far exceeds my talent?
Just all that stuff.
I think it takes real loss to realise
that you don't have anything to lose, you know?
You miss him.
Yeah.
So anyway.
What are you doing with yourself these days?
I'm in fashion.
Big surprise.
Hey!
I'm just saying.
We couldn't go passed a single shop in New York
without you dragging me in there.
You know, there was one time I edited an entire short film
on my laptop while I was waiting for you.
Bullshit.
It's true.
It was the mise-en-scene, the one-shot film.
We used to watch them in class.
It was like the openings of Orson Welles, Touch of Evil.
P.T. Anderson, Boogie Nights.
You remember all that?
If it was one-shot then what was there to edit?
The titles and stuff, I mean.
I don't know, I'm just saying.
You spent a lot of times in shops.
Come on.
Carrying all that equipment, camera lights.
And all the editing, too crazy.
I like fashion.
It's easy for me.
That's 'cause you're doing what you love.
You know, if you're doing what you love,
there's no other way to live, right?
So you still love filmmaking?
Mm.
I don't know.
I'll tell you after the Q&A.
Come on, stop stressing.
I'm just saying, film school was never for you.
Every time I looked at you, you were drawing shoes
or something like that.
Don't tell me your making shoes?
Designing.
Designing shoes.
For like the biggest Italian labels.
Oh, no shit?
I'm serious!
Wow.
All that time waiting around actually
amounted to something, huh?
Hm, very funny.
I might not be telling stories like you,
but when I see women wearing shoes that I designed,
and they look strong, confident, and sexy,
it makes me happy.
Happy is good.
Yeah, happy is good.
You never told me if you had a man or not.
It's complicated.
I don't really wanna talk about it right now.
I'm sorry, Vincent.
For what?
You know, for everything.
That's a long time ago, just forget about it.
I just...
I didn't know.
Yep.
Yeah, look, I'm just around the corner.
Okay.
I gotta go.
We just sat down.
We didn't even have a drink.
I came all this way.
For what?
I didn't ask you to come here.
I still don't really know what you're doing here.
Look, um, it was nice seeing you and everything.
I'm glad you're doing well, I just...
Good luck, all right?
I gotta go.
Vincent!
What do you want?
I just want to talk.
Now you wanna talk?
I told you I was sorry.
'Cause that makes everything all better.
Vincent.
Look, it has been five years.
It's been five fucking years.
I tried getting in touch with you a bunch of times,
but you never replied.
You tried getting in touch with me
when things were on the rocks with your boyfriend.
You don't know what you're talking about.
You know what, I don't care anymore.
If you didn't care, we wouldn't
be having this conversation.
Well, we're not having the fucking conversation, Annalisa.
Love for Paradise. For his debut movie.
Please, big round of applause.
♪ My life is a wrecking ball ♪
♪ My life cannot stand tall ♪
♪ My life is a fighting game ♪
♪ For the death ♪
♪ My life makes no sense ♪
♪ My life is second best ♪
♪ He's gone in silence ♪
♪ For a dance ♪
♪ With you, it all made sense ♪
♪ With you, there was nothing else ♪
♪ I will rush to your defence for everything that you do ♪
♪ With you, I aim to please ♪
♪ But you left me on my knees ♪
♪ Now this love, it's home alone ♪
♪ Wanting to be left alone ♪
♪ With you, it all made sense ♪
♪ With you, there was nothing else ♪
♪ I will rush to your defence ♪
♪ For everything that you do wrong ♪
♪ With you, I aim to please ♪
♪ But you left me on my knees ♪
♪ Now this love, it's home alone ♪
♪ Wanting to be left alone ♪
Have you calmed down yet?
How did it go?
How'd you know I'd be here?
I micro-chipped you when we were dating.
Wouldn't surprise me.
Can I have one?
Yeah.
What are you listening to?
It's my buddy back in New York.
We worked on a few songs together.
You make music now too?
Just the lyrics, he does the music.
♪ Crazy Suzie followed me all the way home ♪
♪ She said ♪
Wow, he's good.
♪ I never quite understood what she was aiming at ♪
♪ 'Cause I was always better off alone ♪
♪ She said, if you still feel lonely ♪
Why?
I was young.
Confused.
We could've talked about it.
I had to get away.
Away from what, me?
From everything.
You left me.
You left us.
I know.
Do you know how it made me feel
when I came back and you weren't there?
You fucked it all up.
Just me?
Our relationship didn't have problems?
You wouldn't even do anything with me anymore.
Always working on your movies.
Shooting, editing.
Watching movies for research.
Everything was research.
I couldn't even say a word when we watched a movie together.
You loved your movies more than you loved me.
Is that what you think?
We had problems, okay?
Every relationship has problems.
You don't just leave, you work 'em out.
Maybe I couldn't work them out then.
Maybe you just didn't want to.
I'm here now.
Yeah.
Yeah, now you're here, five years later.
There would be times that I'd be walking
through the park in East Village.
Thompson Square Park.
Tompkins.
That's what I said.
No, it's Tompkins, not Thompson.
Thompson, Tompkins, what's the difference?
It's a different name.
Oh God.
Some things don't change, eh?
You know I didn't grow up speaking English like you.
Okay.
Sometimes I get it mixed up.
What's the problem?
I don't have a problem.
One letter, Thompson, Tompkins.
It's a completely different name.
Okay, you try and speak Spanish, eh?
Then we see.
I correct you every fucking second!
And Annalisa's back.
Thompson, Tompkins!
Can I just finish what I was saying?
No!
Go.
Look.
There was times that I'd be walking back from the park.
And I would just like freeze.
You know, I literally couldn't move.
I would just see memories of us everywhere.
And it paralysed me.
There was this one time I was coming home from a shoot
carrying all my equipment and everything
and this guy comes up to me and I think he's gonna help me,
but then he runs off with my tripod.
The tripod I bought for you.
I'm trying to tell you how it
made me feel when you abandoned me,
and all you can think about is a stolen gift.
So it was the one?
Yeah.
Do you know how much I paid for that?
Why didn't you return my calls?
I know, I handled it all wrong.
That's a fucking understatement.
I'm sorry.
Look, I have to go.
For what?
I have a dinner meeting.
With who?
What's it matter?
I'm just curious.
With a producer, all right?
He set up a meeting about a co-production.
Another film in Malta.
Maybe.
How much time do you have?
I don't know, like a few hours.
Does it take you that long to get ready?
Look who's talking.
Okay.
Why, what'd you have in mind?
Remember that vacation we had here?
Yes, I remember it.
I just made a movie about it.
Do you want to have some fun or not?
Oh yeah.
Are you just saying that
or do you really want to have some fun?
No, trust me, I really wanna have some fun.
♪ We've gotta keep this dream alive ♪
♪ Oh, you and me ♪
♪ You and me, we were gonna be the heroes ♪
♪ Of a lifetime, you and me, we climb every tree ♪
♪ Together, you and me ♪
♪ You and me, we would lay in the moonlight ♪
♪ In the night sky, you and me we find all the stars ♪
♪ Together, you and me ♪
♪ We've gotta keep this dream alive ♪
♪ Oh, you and me ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ You and me, we were always the dreamers ♪
♪ In our lives, make believe, if you like ♪
♪ Oh, we could see ♪
♪ The bigger picture, you and me ♪
♪ We've gotta keep this dream alive ♪
♪ Oh, you and me ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ We've gotta keep this dream alive ♪
♪ Oh, you and me ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ We've gotta keep this dream alive ♪
♪ Oh, you and me ♪
♪ We've gotta keep this dream alive ♪
♪ Oh, you and me ♪
It was there.
The Azure Window was right there.
You're right.
You wouldn't even know now.
It's sad.
The Maltese people lost something
that was truly a part of them.
And now it's what?
It's just a bunch of rocks at the bottom of the sea.
I think it depends how you look at it, like everything.
The fact is it went back to where it came from.
What?
Millions of years ago, that formation was made
through giant seas and everything.
Now its collapsed by the same nature that created it.
You say things are ours, but what is really ours?
What do we really own?
Our thoughts and experiences.
That's it.
Anything can be taken from us at any time.
The sooner we accept that, the sooner we can cope
with whatever life throws at us.
What does that mean though?
You live your life detached from everything
for fear of eventually losing it?
I mean, what's the point of getting close
to anything or anyone for that matter?
No, it's the opposite.
You can't live your life in fear of disappointment and loss.
But that's the thing, we never really lose anything.
We have to nurture and care for people and things
we have when we have them.
But we have to be okay with accepting
when these things are taken from us.
That's life, we can't stop it.
But we can control our reactions.
Like this Azure Window.
It was amazing, a wonder,
but it was formed by nature, or whatever you believe.
And taken back by the same.
We have to be okay with that.
Be thankful for what we have when we have it.
Concern ourselves with what we can control
not things we can't.
Be okay with letting go.
Just like you let go of me?
Such a drama queen!
When I moved back to Europe, I felt a lot more comfortable.
- Mm. - Just culturally, you know.
Oh, careful.
- Fuck! - You okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Sorry, sorry, I'm fine.
I was just saying the cultural differences.
- Yeah. - Like everyone runs
on expensive cigarettes here.
I'm good with that.
In New York, no one smokes.
They are gym crazy, health crazy.
Vitamins for everything.
Stuff for this, something for that.
They're obsessed about health and calories,
but they seem more unhealthy
in their own way than Europeans.
You sit there with a plate of paella
and they look at you funny.
You used to cook paella very day for us in New York.
What the hell are you talking about?
I will always eat paella, okay?
I'm Spanish.
I'm just saying it's weird for Americans.
Here in Europe, there is not this big thing about health.
It's like cigarettes don't give you cancer
over here or something.
No, no, no.
Cigarettes are giving everyone cancer everywhere, trust me.
That's why you started smoking again?
I fell off the wagon for a little bit.
I'll get back on.
You mean on the wagon.
No, it's off the wagon.
No, the wagon is bad.
No, wagon is good.
But on the wagon is like the trap.
You fall in the trap.
No, the trap is off not on.
That doesn't make sense.
Is it a little strange.
I think they should change it.
Would you like to be the ambassador
for the international change on the wagon?
Off the wagon.
Ah, there you go.
Nico.
Okay.
Look, I'll be there, okay?
I'll be there.
Yeah, okay.
Bye.
We have to go?
Soon.
I'm just saying it's normal to smoke here.
Whenever I smoked in New York,
I felt people were watching me saying
look at Eurotrash smoking.
Eurotrash.
Isn't that what you guys say?
Oh, us guys.
Yeah, Americans.
Okay, now you're generalising, bordering on prejudice.
What, I'm not allowed to express my own views?
You know, sometimes I think you get too sensitive.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah.
What's the problem with my experience living in America
I've encountered people who talk this way?
I was just saying if you think that everybody
talks that way, that would be prejudice.
No.
Actually prejudice is a preconceived opinion
that is not based on reason or actual experience.
Wow, wow.
Did you memorise that?
Yeah, I was curious.
Hmm, curious about being prejudice?
How can we not be comfortable
in forming views based on experience?
We must be able to express ourselves
and live in a free world.
I agree, I'm just saying it's very dangerous territory
you're getting into.
Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay, okay.
So what if, for example, I live next to the sea.
Mm-hmm.
And in my life I know people
who have been eaten by sharks, the same brand of sharks.
The same brand?
Yeah, the particular shark.
Species maybe.
Ugh, species, brand, come on!
So I say that these sharks are killers.
Is this prejudice to all the others sharks in the sea?
You could say that this particular species of shark
have killed humans under certain conditions.
Oh my god!
Serious?
Come on, this is ridiculous!
We have to be open and comfortable to
I'm not saying that generalising and forming views
without reason, but there has to be some level of openness.
Freedom of speech and all that stuff.
Everything people before us fought for
is slowly getting buried by sensitive politicians
who don't want to get on the wrong side
of a particular group for fear of being prejudice.
You know, there's this great philosopher named Epictetus.
I really love reading him.
He talks about calling things by their right name.
I really like his take on it.
Right name?
Yeah.
So calling things for what they are
without adding your own judgement to them.
For example, if you see a guy who drinks a lotta beer
you wouldn't call him an alcoholic.
You'd just say he's a guy who drinks a lot of beer, right?
So unless you have a comprehensive understanding of his life,
how do you know if he's an alcoholic?
It's about not getting misguided by the appearance of things
and creating this distorted view, right?
You stick to the facts, you use the right name.
Jesus.
These rocks are slippery.
Oh, sorry, sorry.
Not all of them.
Ah ha.
Ah ha, very good.
You know, I didn't even ask about your Mom.
How is she?
You know, she used to ask about you everyday.
Yeah, she's the best.
- And her cooking, man. - Amazing.
My God.
She used to ask about me, what does that mean?
She forgot?
Not by choice.
Alzheimer's.
What?
I thought you had to be really old to get that.
Earlier onset is what they call it.
It's pretty common actually.
How bad is she?
Bad.
Especially this last year, I had to put her in a home.
Shit.
Your Mom was always like Wonder Woman,
doing a million things at once.
There's no stoppin' her.
That's so sad.
You know, sometimes I feel like I'm lucky
to have this last bit of time with her.
Like it's a warning or something.
I'm getting the chance to know that she won't be here
much longer and I can make the most
of the time we have left together.
But it's such an awful disease.
She's not even her anymore.
I visit all the time and when I leave I feel so sad.
Unbalanced.
It really weighs on me to see her like this.
I don't want to be left with these last memories of her.
Does she still remember you?
I think so.
Maybe, I can't tell you for sure,
but she does feel comfortable when I'm around
so that's good.
Yeah.
So how is it, she just forgets a lot of things.
No, that's what I thought
that she would just keep forgetting things,
but it got worse and worse.
It's a neurological disorder so it kills your brain cells.
So, yes, it's starting with her forgetting things,
- but everyone forgets things. - Yeah.
So we never really put it down to more
than just her doing too many things and forgetting.
But then it got worse and worse.
Like she would drive and forget where she was.
Forget how to get home.
This last time she called me and was stuck
in the middle of the road in rush hour, freaking out.
She didn't even know how she got there.
Oh shit.
I was worried about her for months.
She was crying so much.
I took her to see a professor in Barcelona
and they did a bunch of tests and stuff.
They diagnosed her soon after that.
So it's not like with The Notebook then.
Flashbacks of memories.
It's no love story, trust me.
It's sad.
I'm literally watching her age backwards.
When you're born, you know nothing.
And they even have to hold your head up.
But you learn, adapt.
Everything you could do right now,
at one point you couldn't do that, right?
You develop skills to communicate and
and find yourself.
She's literally going backwards, losing her identity.
She's growing up to be an infant.
It's sad, it's so sad.
She's in her own world.
Mumbles all day with memories in her scattered mind.
No comprehension of the world.
I'm really sorry, Annalisa.
It's life, right?
It's life and it's real.
I just have to accept it.
And I accept it.
Like I was saying before, she's going back
from where she came and that's life.
I just don't want her to lose her dignity.
She always looked after herself so much.
Took pride in herself.
Always so stylish, dressed so well.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
You remember what my Dad said about
no one getting out alive?
It's true.
I mean...
I think everyone wastes a lot of time.
Everyone takes time for granted.
We can spend days, weeks, months...
People spend a lifetime getting caught up
in things that are so meaningless.
I mean, old grudges against family and loved one.
But that's the thing, those bonds, those relationships,
they're special.
And they're finite.
Just knowing that we're only going to be able
to really connect with just a few people
throughout the course of our lives.
You know, we really just have to cherish
and hold on, protect, that love.
Against anything the world can throw at us.
Life's too short.
Why'd you do that?
Do you want me to stop?
This is gonna complicate things.
Definitely.
♪ I've sold myself to run away ♪
♪ Still right beside you ♪
♪ You drive me crazy everyday ♪
♪ I will never let you go, oh, oh ♪
♪ Though we gotta take it slow ♪
♪ One more time, everything will be all right ♪
♪ 'Cause you're something that I've been missing ♪
♪ I think I'll let you in ♪
♪ 'Cause you're something speeding ♪
♪ We're flying into the horizon ♪
♪ I can't remember what you said ♪
♪ You will remind me ♪
♪ You put the writing on the wall ♪
♪ Only you can make me say, ay, ay ♪
♪ Were we meant to be ♪
♪ After here 'cause you're the only one for me ♪
♪ 'Cause you're something that I've been missing ♪
♪ I think I'll let you in ♪
♪ 'Cause you're something speeding ♪
♪ We're flying into the horizon ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ 'Cause you're something that I've been missing ♪
♪ I think I'll let you in ♪
♪ 'Cause you're something speeding ♪
♪ We're flying into the horizon ♪
I think about it all the time.
It freaks me out, but I can't help it.
We're all going to die anyway, right?
Just like you're Dad said.
When you're dead, you are dead.
You're not going to know, you're not going to care.
You are dead.
I guess.
Don't fear death, fear the fear of death.
Just like you're fearing now.
You know, for someone who didn't grow up speaking English
you really have a way with words.
I taught myself.
Really?
Yeah.
We have English in school, but it was just basic.
The teacher was hopeless.
When I decided I was going to New York,
I just went crazy learning everything I could.
- Yeah. - I'd carry a notebook
everywhere, listening to English lessons on my headphones.
My friends who stayed in Barcelona thought I was nuts,
but they were happy staying there so they didn't care.
I just knew I wanted to get out.
See what's on the other side.
Where better than the city that never sleeps?
So basically you just watched way too much
Sex and the City and you decided to see it for yourself.
Pretty much.
Okay.
I thought my English was actually pretty good
till I got too New York.
Oh my God, I was so embarrassed.
I didn't understand anything!
I always knew what you were saying.
But I didn't understand what you were saying.
That's not true.
Okay, maybe half of the time.
So what, so the other half of the time
you just pretended to know what I was saying?
Not bad, huh?
Are you serious? Yeah.
That's unbelievable.
That death thing, man.
Ugh, again.
All right, here me out, look.
Every day is one day closer to the day.
From the moment we're born, we're put on the path to death.
My Dad had the best attitude about all of this,
but it just scares the shit out of me.
And I try not to think about it.
I tell myself not to think about it,
but I still think about it.
There are so many things that I'm never gonna be able to do
because I'm already too old.
I think we can do anything at any age.
That's not true.
Okay, what is it that you will never be able to do?
Become a world-class gymnast.
Gymnast?
Yes.
I didn't even know you liked that.
I don't like it, but that's not the point.
It is exactly--
I couldn't do it even if I wanted to do it.
It's exactly the point.
What in your life right now do you want to do?
What do you want to be?
A filmmaker.
What are you doing?
Making films.
Okay, so don't worry about being a gymnast.
Concentrate in putting all your time and energy
on films into being the best you can be at what you love.
- No. - Don't worry about
being too old to become a gymnast.
I was just saying gymnast though.
It could have been anything.
Vincent, I know you.
If you really wanted to be a gymnast,
a race car driver, whatever, you would be.
I really know you.
When you love something, you become obsessed.
Nothing else matters, just like making films.
Nothing will stop you.
No one will stop you.
Be happy knowing that.
I guess.
But I still think about death though.
Oh my God.
You know, with all this thinking and talking
you're probably going to attract it even more.
What, like law of attraction?
Yeah, you don't believe it's true?
No, no, no, I do.
I believe it's true.
We definitely become what we think,
what's on our mind.
As a matter of fact, I take relief in that, you know
I take relief in knowing that I can shape my own future.
I have so many friends, they have different beliefs
about this kind of thing and...
The thing is, none of it is tangible enough
to set your life to.
Law of attraction, I know it works because I tested it.
I do it, I do it every single day.
I am always visualising the way I want my life to be.
You know what, take this film for example, all right.
My first feature film.
That's my dream.
And I'd already directed it a thousand times
before I got on set.
And now that I've created this life
I can't wait to do it all over again.
That's great.
Yeah, and it's not even.
It works for little things too.
I started to figure this out when I was just a little kid.
Little Vincent, oh, cute.
It is cute, yeah.
No, listen, listen.
My Dad set up this basketball ring for me in the driveway
and a lot of the times when I was playing
the ball would bounce over the fence
into the neighbor's yard,
but my neighbour had this real scary dog.
So anytime the ball bounced over
I would have to wait for the neighbour to get home
and then toss the ball back over, but, of course,
by then it's too late to play.
So I came up with a little something.
I did this thing where every time it looked like the ball
was about to bounce over, I just like,
I concentrated and I imagined that ball
hitting the fence and coming back towards me.
And I'm telling you that it worked.
I swear to God it worked.
Now I didn't tell anybody about this.
It was highly confidential, it was my secret.
'Cause people would probably think I was crazy,
but I knew it worked so it didn't matter.
You stopped the ball from going
over the fence with your mind?
Yes.
Most of the time.
Sometime the shot was so horrible
that no law of anything would have saved it.
Can you do anything else--
Hi, Nico.
Look, why don't you just tell me where you'll be
and I'll meet you guys there?
All right.
Yeah, bye.
You have to go?
I've got a little more time.
So any other tricks?
I can have you naked without even touching you.
- Oh really. - Yeah.
Do it.
You sure?
I dare you.
Okay.
You asked for it though.
That's even better than I remembered.
♪ Love, an old familiar feeling ♪
♪ Is coming ♪
♪ Out in waves ♪
♪ I feel so fine ♪
♪ I've let my guard down ♪
♪ And you're working my good intentions ♪
♪ Disappear ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ It's too much ♪
♪ Yes, it's too much ♪
♪ Of this good thing ♪
♪ Is more than I even ♪
♪ 'Cause your good thing is no good for me ♪
Been practising?
What, I wasn't good before?
No, you were good, but now you are.
Very good?
I was going to say amazing.
Still have yours?
Yeah, it's my battle scar.
Battle scar, that's how you think of us?
Parts of us.
Maybe.
How many times have we listened to that song in New York?
I think we wore out the mp3.
We were in a rush to get to class.
Who's fault was that?
What, it stimulates creativity.
I was trying to help you.
I didn't hear you complaining.
You used to step out of that shower every morning
dripping wet.
Your curves backlit by the smoggy morning glow
of the New York city skyline.
Such an imagination.
And you'd be singing.
Something always brings me back to you.
Were we crazy or what?
That's like the golden rule of tattoos,
is not get your partner's name.
It's not a name.
It's true.
It was our bond, our moment.
Our time.
What about now?
Now.
Now it's our time again.
I never wanted anybody else, you know.
After that performance, I think you've
had a lot of practise.
So what?
I've never been connected to anyone like I am with you.
I was sleeping with other girls,
but I'd be thinking about you.
That's a little weird.
I...
Even your smell,
- it's hard to explain. - I smell?
It's a good smell.
It's pheromones, it's science.
Body odours are connected with sexual attraction.
And I just never had that with anyone else.
It's like, just to hold you and breathe
makes me feel home and away all in the same breath.
Like there's no where else I'd rather be
in this world than right there with you in that moment.
That's sweet.
I'm not letting you go again.
I don't care what we have to do to make it work.
We'll do it.
This, this right here, this is special.
This is a gift, this is our second chance,
and if you don't see that--
I do.
I do, Vincent.
I love you.
Did you find something?
I didn't know you still had this.
Going through my stuff?
It was just sitting here.
You still carry it.
I still use it.
You filled it five years ago.
I find room.
I couldn't help notice.
That note I wrote for you.
You wrote a lot of stuff.
Passing notes in class and stuff, it was cute.
Remember we tried to hide it from them?
Like that was never going to work.
We couldn't keep our eyes off each other.
I know.
Remember that first day in class?
We all had to get up, introduce ourselves.
My God, I was so nervous.
Especially about my English.
You were at the back of the room
with all of the other Europeans.
And I heard this voice, this sexy, exotic voice
and turned around, and that was the first time I saw you.
First time?
I noticed you from the moment you walked in the school.
How come you didn't notice me?
I was focused, okay.
I was a man on a mission.
For what?
To make movies.
I didn't know I was about to be struck by lightning.
I was lightning?
And thunder.
Wow.
You stood up and you said, I'm Annalisa from Barcelona.
I was done.
I don't know what you said after that
because the whole room, I couldn't hear anything.
It was like in Raging Bull when Jake LaMotta's
about to get drilled by Sugar Ray Robinson.
Just silence.
The calm before the storm.
It was a storm.
It still is.
Are you sure you don't wanna come?
They want to see you and not me.
Are you sure?
Go.
Okay.
I miss you already.
Hey.
Where'd you go?
To buy cigarettes.
What happened to your meeting?
Your meeting?
I met with them, I just.
I figured they could sort out the rest of the details.
I want to be with you.
Come back to bed.
I need to talk to you.
We can talk about it in the morning.
Just come back to bed.
I really need to talk to you.
Now?
Okay.
I don't know how to say this so.
Um.
Look, it's okay.
I already know.
Know what?
I know what happened.
It doesn't matter anymore.
We're together again now.
We'll have another one.
What?
Well, we talked about what we would do
if this situation happened, but we were younger then.
I mean, it's different now.
You know, I'm making money.
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Hey, it's okay.
You don't know what you're talking about?
I found it when I moved out.
Found what?
The pregnancy test.
Oh my God.
It's okay.
No, it's not.
Okay.
Come here, just talk to me.
All we did was fight.
We had so many problems.
You were always busy.
What are you talking about?
I didn't know who the father was.
I was confused.
I couldn't tell you.
What if it wasn't yours?
You fucking cheated on me?
Who is he?
Vincent.
Who is he?
My husband, my now husband.
This gets better.
Vincent.
Where's he from?
Barcelona, I knew him already.
He was on vacation in New York.
And what the fuck was today about then?
This wasn't easy, okay?
To come and see you.
I told myself that I would come clean,
tell you everything face to face.
But it was just like all those years ago.
I was about to write you a letter.
And you don't deserve it.
I was with you lying in bed and I couldn't.
You couldn't what?
You couldn't fucking run out on me again?
All this time.
All the pain.
All the years I spent wondering what you were doing
and who you were with.
If you were still listening to the same songs that I was.
It didn't stop, Annalisa.
There were fragments of you in every single thing
that I did.
Do you know how much I've struggled?
Do you know how much I've had to work on myself
to get to where I am right now?
And you think what, you can just come back into my life
and just press continue?
Okay, listen to me.
What else is there to say?
You cheated on me with him and now you're cheating
on him with me.
That is fucked up.
When I got on that plane in New York that night
I cried the entire way home.
He called me, we made up.
I was just so angry with you,
so angry about the things we couldn't get right.
That drove us apart, drove each other crazy.
All the jealousy, it could have been his too.
She looks more and more like you ever day.
Her name is Audrey.
She's beautiful.
You look like you've seen a bloody ghost!
Who are you?
Who am I, who are bloody you?
Hey, Vincent, you got the rent?
We talked about it.
The rent.
Vincent.
I come back later.
I know how hard this must be for you right now.
Vincent.
Do you have a picture of her?
She looks just like me.
I know.
I'm a dad.
You are a dad.
What's she like?
Amazing.
Bright.
Funny.
She's a miracle.
How could you keep this from me?
I'm sorry.
You know, it's hard for me to believe now,
but at the time I wasn't going to have a baby.
He wanted to and I started feeling
more comfortable about it.
I didn't know if I was going to have another chance.
The longer I waited the more maternal I felt.
It's the best decision I ever made.
She's my world.
But he's not.
I don't know how much longer I can keep the truth from her.
It's not fair, they need to know.
If you tell her now you're gonna damage her.
She has to find out eventually.
What's the difference?
The difference is that you should have been honest
in the first place.
I didn't know.
I didn't know for sure, but there's no doubt now.
Does he know about me?
No.
What about New York?
I told him I was kind of dating someone,
but it was complicated.
Yeah.
Everything in your life is complicated.
What do you want me to say?
You make things complicated, Annalisa.
You pack your bags and leave after four years together.
Four years travelling around the world
trying to be together, building our lives together.
I come back home after another stupid argument
and you're gone.
And not only have you gone,
but you've shut me out of your life completely.
No explanation, no parting words, no nothing.
And then you come back five years later
when I am just starting to get my shit together.
And you tell me that I have a five-year-old daughter
living with you and your husband in Barcelona?
What the fuck?
It's the truth.
Oh, and that's supposed to make things all better?
I came here because I wanted to tell you the truth,
I needed to tell you the truth.
You deserve to know.
Oh, I deserve to know now.
Not five fucking years ago?
Well, maybe you just can't live with the guilt anymore, huh?
You're relationship is on the outs
and the man you used to love or apparently used to love,
the father of your illegitimate child
can actually look after her now financially.
So you say maybe I can just go play happy family.
Maybe I can just walk back into his life,
daughter and all, five years after I deserted him.
Like it's that easy.
That's not why I came.
Why then?
Why now?
I told you why.
Oh, that's right.
And it took you five years to figure that out, huh?
You know laying all this shit on me now
after everything that just happened,
turning back the clocks, reliving who we used to be,
what we used to be together.
I even told you that I loved you.
And you did it to me again.
You screwed me over again.
I'm so stupid.
I'm so fucking stupid.
No, you're not.
You're beautiful.
You're a beautiful man.
So this is why you left me.
I love you, Vincent.
I've always loved you.
I've never stopped loving you.
Not a day hasn't gone by I haven't thought about you.
About us, about what we had.
How I would have done things different.
How many times I would write letters
explaining everything I told you today.
But you never sent them.
You love playing the victim, don't you?
Excuse me?
Yes, it was you with the broken heart.
It was you that got screwed over.
But our relationship had problems and it needed fixing.
By fucking another guy?
And you never fucked that actress?
No.
I was in love with you!
You want the truth?
What, is there more shit that
you've been lying to me about?
The truth is I'm the same woman I've always been.
I'm not what you want me to be,
not what you dream me to be, just me.
Me.
You said you suffered all these years
and I'm sorry for that, I truly am.
The thought of your pain kills me.
But you need to know you have been hurting yourself
for far too long.
You need to open your eyes.
See things for what they really are
not for what you want them to be.
You can't control other people's actions,
you can only control yours.
I'm not the perfect girl you want me to be, okay?
I get emotional, irrational, jealous.
I screw up like anyone else, but I'm learning.
It's called life.
Well, you didn't need to fuck another guy
to know that it was wrong.
Life doesn't come with a manual, Vincent.
Sometimes you screw up.
But look on the flip side.
You just made your dreams come true.
You made your first movie.
What ever happens, you did it, and it's from the heart.
It's true and honest.
It comes from a time and place that means something to you
and people are going to feel that.
It's come out of your experience with us.
You have a beautiful five-year-old daughter
waiting for you.
And the woman you said you never stopped loving
is here now, in this moment, waiting for you,
asking for a lifetime or more.
You are complicated.
I'm a woman!
I can't turn back time, Vincent, but I can give you now.
Now?
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