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[sirens wailing in distance]
[smooth jazz music playing]
- [man] Is that... - Oh.
- Oh, he's here. - Huh?
[both gasp]
Oh, Bruce, is that you?
[Bruce] I know, soon.
Ah, this is a terrific space for this.
A moment. I have to take this.
[headset beeps]
I'm clear, Alfred. Update.
[Alfred on headset] None as of yet.
Master Bruce, it is acceptable to take one night off.
Speak to someone about sports.
[indistinct chatter]
Selina Kyle is here.
[Alfred] Perhaps Ms. Kyle is merely enjoying the festivities.
She hasn't been involved in any illegal activity
for at least a year.
Sixteen months.
[Nightwing on headset] Come on, it's Catwoman.
[man groaning, blows landing on headset]
[both grunting]
She's probably casing the joint.
One second.
[grunts and groans]
[all grunting]
You were only supposed to be scouting tonight.
Sounds like it went sideways.
Yeah.
Found out the shipment was tonight, so I thought I'd torch it.
[explosion]
Who knew heroin was so flammable?
[cocks gun, fires]
[explosion]
I'll be there in five.
- Five? Where's the trust? - [detonator beeping]
[grunts]
- Huh? - [beeping rapidly]
- [explosion] - Aah!
[groans]
It's over in two.
[sirens approaching]
[Nightwing] Gotham PD is in, so I'm out.
[headset beeps]
[Alfred on headset] Sir, do you have an idea
what Ms. Kyle's interest in the gala would be?
I'll ask.
Well, knock me over with a feather.
Bruce Wayne mixing with the swells.
So what do they owe the honor?
It's mandatory.
I'm a board member.
How have you been, Selina?
Anything new?
You could say I'm at a crossroads.
I used to love my work
at the gallery.
But now...
Sometimes change is good.
Like you would know.
[man] Bruce?
You're actually here.
You never come to these things.
It's like seeing a unicorn
in a $5,000 suit.
Selina,
this is Thomas Elliot, good friend and world-renowned brain surgeon.
Thomas, Selina Kyle.
Hello. And I wouldn't say "world-renowned."
Maybe the US and parts of Canada.
Tom and I were inseparable as kids,
especially after losing my parents.
You're not getting away this time.
Come on, let's have a drink.
Tony, line them up.
[Alfred on headset] Sorry to interrupt, Master Bruce,
but I'm receiving reports that Bane has abducted a child.
Ringing your phone now.
- [cell phone ringing] - [headset beeps]
This needs my attention.
But it was good seeing you.
I'd like to catch up.
Soon.
Nice while it lasted.
[cell phone vibrating]
[message received tone]
[Tony] And here we are.
Seriously, both of them?
[chuckles] Perfect couple.
[lock chirps]
[device trills]
- [sirens wailing] - [reporter] The scion of the Dupree Chemical fortune,
eight-year-old Edward Dupree, has been kidnapped by the criminal known as Bane.
He has demanded an undisclosed ransom,
which the family has agreed to pay, against police advice.
Commissioner Gordon, do you have a statement?
Bane, if you're watching,
we have your money. Don't hurt the boy.
[sirens blaring]
[groans and grunts]
[Alfred on headset] The child was taken from the playground in broad daylight.
[gasps and groans]
It's not like Bane to be so public.
[breathing heavily]
[groaning]
Everything will be fine, Edward.
- [Bane] Where is he? - [gasps]
Where's my damn money?
[Bane grunts]
[gasping]
[Bane roaring]
[chuckles] Stupid old Bat, my Venom is stronger.
I am stronger!
[grunts]
- [grunts] - [Bane groans]
[groaning]
[both grunt]
[Bane roars]
- [groans] - I need my money.
- [electricity surging] - [screaming]
[groans]
I'll kill you!
[Alfred on headset] Isn't Bane usually a bit more eloquent?
[both grunting]
[Batman] It must be a side effect of the new Venom design.
Which means his mind is under the same strain.
[Bane] Need my money for more juice!
[gas hissing]
[breathing heavily]
[Batman] Here's your money.
- [blow thuds] - [groans]
Come get it.
[roars]
- [groans] - [electricity crackling]
[screaming in agony]
[groans]
Your parents are waiting in front.
Asshole!
[device whirs]
[Bane breathing weakly]
Batman.
Apologies for the interruption.
Lady Shiva.
The League of Assassins has no business here.
[Lady Shiva] Perhaps we do.
The League has been in flux,
different factions vying for power.
And?
And in the chaos, the life-giving power of a Lazarus Pit
was exploited by an unknown intruder.
I would ask if you know anything of this matter.
No.
- But I'll look into it. - [door opens]
- [door closes] - [police officer] Down here.
[Lady Shiva] My thanks.
It was a pleasure to see you work.
Next time, call first.
Is it too much to ask for one quiet weekend?
- Apparently. - Well, thanks for saving the day, as usual.
Wait, where's the ransom?
[thudding]
[Gordon] Catwoman?
Damn it!
Did you know she was back in town?
[Batman] Catwoman.
Took you long enough.
[whip cracks]
Like the view?
It's the only thing you'll catch tonight.
[train horn blares]
Don't be so sure.
[whip cracks]
[grunts]
No.
[grunts angrily]
[groans]
[gasps]
Hush, Batman.
Hush.
[man] Heh, told you it was him.
Fell out of the sky like a dead pigeon.
- [electricity crackling] - [screaming]
What the hell?
[groaning]
- [gun clicks] - Only one way to deal with this freak.
- [whip cracks] - [groans]
Back off, boys.
He's mine.
How about we cut him in two, and then you?
After we're done with you, he means.
Naughty, naughty. There's a three-strikes law in this state, boys.
- [grunts] - That was one.
- [grunts] - Two.
- [groans] - Three.
Ah!
- [whip cracks] - Ahh! Ooh!
You know, some guys pay for that.
[motorcycle approaching]
[tires screech]
- [Batgirl grunts] - [men groaning]
Man, screw this.
That was...
uncalled for.
[Batgirl] Get away from him.
You're working with Bane and you're going down.
Calm yourself, little girl.
Come quietly and you won't get hurt.
Aw, that's adorable.
[both grunting]
[whip cracks]
Take care of your boss.
[whip cracks]
Ugh! He's not my boss.
[Batman groaning]
- [headset beeps] - Alfred, Batman's hurt.
Really hurt.
[groaning weakly]
[Poison Ivy] Any problems?
[Catwoman] Batman.
What happened?
He couldn't keep up.
You sound disappointed.
Does it matter?
I got the job done.
Don't worry yourself with anyone or anything,
except pleasing me.
Now bring me my money.
Good Kitty.
How would you say it?
"Purrfect."
Say it for me, Kitty. Say,
"Purrfect."
Purrfect.
[Poison Ivy] Mmm.
You can go now.
[power switch clangs]
What the...
Not yet, Ivy.
Fifty-fifty, remember?
Since I can't control you,
maybe I'll finish our deal another way.
Oh, I wouldn't.
If my vitals don't remain, well, vital,
this herbicide bomb will make nasty work of you and your pets.
But let's not go down that road.
I have a job that will pay ten times what you made today.
Think of all the fertilizer you could buy.
I even brought you a gift.
Your favorite color, I believe.
[Batgirl] Is he gonna be okay?
[Alfred] His head injury is beyond me, I'm afraid.
He needs a hospital.
Batman can go to the hospital?
No.
But reckless playboy Bruce Wayne can.
Take the roadster to Forest Road near mile marker 82, and wreck it.
Dick Grayson will take him to the emergency room.
Forty-five miles an hour should be adequate.
Remember to tuck and roll.
Pretty screwed up you guys have a plan for this.
I shall notify Thomas Elliot.
It seems Master Bruce will be spending time with his old friend after all.
Well, surgery couldn't have gone better.
But you'll have to stay out of the fast lane for a while.
Tom, I owe you so much.
It's the least I can do for all the times I left you hanging.
Oh, wait.
I know, I haven't been a very good friend.
Are you kidding me?
Look at all the publicity you gave me.
And don't think you're the most notorious patient I ever had.
I get around, you know.
You have patients more infamous than me?
You'd know if you hung around me more.
Maybe I will.
I'm serious, Tom.
I wanna be a better friend.
Bruce, I will always be your friend...
no matter how annoying that can be.
[Batcomputer trilling]
Dr. Elliot recommended a minimum of two more weeks bed rest.
Can't be helped, I need to go to Blackgate Prison.
Yes, I see. I know better than to try and dissuade you.
By now, I would hope so.
However, might I suggest this one?
[device beeps rapidly]
The headpiece has a bit more padding.
- Hmm. - [Alfred] Do try to avoid blows to the head.
I'd prefer not to buttle for the World's Greatest Vegetable, sir.
Yes, very thoughtful, Alfred.
[alarm blares]
[Gordon] Moving Bane is unnecessary.
Waller, this is one of the most secure prisons on the planet.
Security has nothing to do with it.
You have no paperwork, no orders. I'm calling the mayor.
Wondered when you'd get here.
Are you also gonna tell me I can't take him?
Can't and shouldn't are different things.
I need to speak with Bane.
Regarding?
I believe he's working with Poison Ivy and Catwoman.
I need to know why.
- Five minutes is all... - No.
I might have some information to trade.
I'm on a schedule.
Another mission with your so-called Suicide Squad?
- [alarms sounding] - [Bane growling on monitor]
- [computer beeps] - What's going on? Didn't you sedate him?
Yes, ma'am, enough to tranq a herd of elephants.
- [Bane grunts] - [groans]
Bane is using a new Venom. Makes him immune to your sedatives.
I was going to tell you.
These tranquilizers can be fired from the 20 millimeter guns on your helicopters.
Stay back and I'll help you reacquire him.
Batman.
Stay out of my business and I might stay out of yours.
[grunts]
[Bane] Where is my money?
How should I know?
- [Bane] Wrong answer. - [device whirring]
Listen, freak, Ivy was controlling me, she made me steal your money.
[Bane] Hmm.
Then you die first.
[grunts]
[groans]
[breathing heavily]
[Bane grunts]
- [explosion] - [both scream]
[Bane gasps]
- Catwoman, down. - [device beeps]
[Bane yells]
[straining]
[yelps]
[screams]
[groaning]
[sighs]
The package is secure. Move out.
[wind whistling]
Thanks. It appears we're even.
Stay out of trouble.
Wait, God, I know you're not big on conversation,
but hold on.
You're going after Ivy and I want in.
I have a code.
Revenge isn't part of it.
How about the address of her pheromone-controlled minions?
Anyone knows where she went, it's the zombies who tended her plants.
Give me the information and I'll take care of Ivy.
Nope.
Hmm. Fine, we work together on this.
What's the address?
Oh, I'm not done with my demands.
Ticktock. Trail's going cold.
We've done this dance for so long.
Aren't you just the least bit...
curious?
[wind whistling]
[groans] No more.
Metropolis.
Ivy's in Metropolis.
[Batman] Hmm.
[screams]
God, you're hot when you smash stuff.
- [headset beeps] - It's me. Get the jet ready.
[Alfred] Very good, sir.
And pack the jewelry.
[Alfred] Oh, dear.
Jewelry?
[Lois] "Man of Steel Saves Bloodmobile."
I like it.
Hey, is "Man of Steel" hyphenated? I can never remember.
- Mmm, no. - How about "Bloodmobile"?
Lois, I have a deadline.
Just super-type it like you do when you think I'm not watching.
How come you're still hanging around? Don't you have an interview?
He's coming here. Quite the get.
- Who? - [Bruce] That would be me.
Bruce, you're early.
Bruce Wayne, this is Clark Kent.
I believe we've met.
Yes. I've admired your work, Clark.
On occasion.
Excuse me, got to check if the conference room is ready.
Something tells me a man like you is here for more than an interview.
I do like to multitask.
Any business you can tell me about?
Not at the moment. Wouldn't want any third parties getting involved.
- [footsteps approach] - [Lois] Ready.
Shall we?
I thought about buying a newspaper once.
Wouldn't it be something if I owned the Planet?
And you and Clark could work for me.
Just don't forget my big raise, Mr. Moneybags.
[Bruce chuckles] Lois.
[gasps]
Oh, please.
Don't tell me you and the Boy Scout have switched cities.
LexCorp makes a fortified ethylene compound
engineered to allow exotic plants
to withstand changes in locale and temperature.
And, so, why are you here?
I need the delivery list of that compound for the last week.
So, of course you come to me at 3:00 in the morning.
The sooner I have the information, the sooner you get back to sleep.
And you couldn't visit the person who does the deliveries
and is probably awake as we speak?
The information was deleted on her computer.
I assume yours has a few more safeguards.
One or two.
[computer trilling]
Here.
Would you like a printout, maybe some hot cocoa before you leave?
I have what I need.
What you need is to show me some respect.
I saved all your asses against Cyborg Superman,
and I'll remind you I'm a Justice League member now.
Probationary member. Don't call us, we'll call you.
[Poison Ivy] Well, look who's here.
Wondered when you'd find me.
I've come back to you.
Have you, now?
No one can resist you.
And why would they want to?
That's so true, Kitty.
But no one fakes it with me.
[groans]
Okay, crazy plant bitch, it's on.
[both grunting]
[groans]
[straining]
[Poison Ivy] Nose filters?
What am I going to do with you, Kitty?
Oh, I know.
[gasps]
- [straining] - [vines tightening]
[gasps]
[Catwoman gasps]
[exhales]
Cut it close, why don't you.
You're going back to Arkham, Ivy.
Oh!
Is Batman your new boy toy? [snaps]
I have one, too.
[device humming]
Stay away from her.
You heard my Superman.
Lover...
kill them.
- Tell me you have a plan. - Yes.
Run.
[glass shatters]
[inhaling deeply]
You thoughtless, worthless, stupid meat.
I don't get my money if they're still alive.
I won't... kill.
Are you trying to resist?
Seems my kryptonite kisses need a touch-up.
Mmm.
Find them.
Kill them.
Yes.
- [whooshing] - [rumbling]
Ugh, help these days.
[Catwoman] How is he not on us?
He's as fast as a... Well, you know.
[Batman] Lead-lined tunnels, courtesy of LexCorp.
They'll buy us some time.
But this is Superman.
Yes, and if he wanted, we'd be dead already.
Deep down, he's a good person.
And deep down...
I'm not.
That's the jewelry?
Normally I'd be disappointed.
You clear on your part?
Standard smash and grab, not like I haven't done it before.
[rumbling]
That's my cue.
[bricks crumbling]
[heavy thudding]
Listen to me, Clark, I've opened the gas main.
One spark from your heat vision, you blow up the entire block.
And you know what building we're under.
[device hums]
- [Batman grunting] - [groaning]
[both grunting]
Huh?
[groans]
Remember what I said about the gas main?
I lied.
[groans]
That hurt.
[chokes]
- It was supposed to. - [distant grunting]
[grunts] Hey! What are you doing?
What... Get your hands off...
Shut up and hope the Big Blue Boy Scout snaps out of it.
[device humming]
[Batman] Get control. You can save her.
It's your choice, not Ivy's.
[deep grunt]
Damn it.
[groaning]
Okay, looks like we do it the hard way.
[screaming]
[Lois] Superman, help!
[screaming]
[gasping]
Oh.
How's your day been, honey?
Mine's been... eventful.
I'll explain everything. I promise.
I, uh, blacked out for that part.
You better have.
[Superman] Catwoman.
He made me do it.
[Batman] I wouldn't get too comfortable if I were you.
[Poison Ivy] Shit.
[panting]
- [Catwoman grunts] - [groans]
[Poison Ivy groaning]
Was that really necessary?
[both] Yes.
You could have gotten Lois killed.
I had faith you'd save her.
- Hmm. - [Catwoman] Batman.
Catch.
Synthetic kryptonite.
- You know who made it? - Working on it.
[gasps] Mother...
None of this is my fault.
I was forced to use Catwoman to steal Bane's ransom.
[sighs] Then he made me control Superman.
Can't say he put up much of a fight.
What's his name?
Now that would be telling.
[grunts] Not the hair!
- [claws protract] - [Poison Ivy screams]
They may go easy on you, but I won't.
Name. Now.
Hush.
It's true, he calls himself Hush.
I never met him before.
He knew a lot about me.
Too much.
[Superman] That's enough.
- I'll take her. - [groans]
I think your business here is done.
You weren't supposed to throw Lois off the roof.
Is this your code again?
Superman was going to squish you.
So I improvised.
That's what partners do, right?
[Catwoman moans softly]
[Hush] This just gets better and better.
Look at you, making an effort.
So wait, does this mean Selina is two-timing Batman with you,
- or vice versa? - Don't you have something to do?
Nope.
Just thought of something else.
Maybe she likes you both because you're both the same guy,
only she doesn't know it.
Thank you, Alfred.
There he goes. Bruce Wayne on a genuine date.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do!
[phone ringing]
[Bruce] Hello, Damian.
Titus.
Pennyworth tells me you're romantically involved with a criminal now?
Ex-criminal. And it's only a date.
There are no ex-criminals, Father,
only ones who aren't breaking the law at the moment.
[barks]
She's not like that anymore.
- Damian, I... - Look, I understand.
This never-ending mission of ours is a lonely endeavor.
If this trollop provides some carnal release, so be it.
"Trollop"?
Your slang skills need work.
But I needn't bring up your past poor choices in women,
including but not limited to my mother.
Damian, I'm not...
- Not that I'm ungrateful being here, mind you... - [brakes screech]
...however, I must insist that you use protection.
And another thing,
- cover your drink. - Goodbye, Damian.
[beeps]
[hyenas laughing]
Here's your steak, Larry.
And one for you, Moe.
And, Shemp,
- you get two because it's your birthday. - [low growling]
Aw.
I don't know why Mr. J isn't here.
[hyenas whimpering]
- [soft gunshots] - [hyenas whine]
Huh?
Oh, he's not coming.
Okay, freak, who are you and what do you know about my puddin'?
I know he needs your help.
Hey, I'm the only one who gets to tie up Mr. J!
Just do me a little favor and you can have him back again.
Good as new.
[knocking on door]
[Selina] It's open. Come in.
Are those for moi?
Yes. You look...
incredible.
Right back at ya.
- Is there time for a drink? - Why not?
You know, I had a bet with Eartha here that you wouldn't show up.
- [Eartha meows] - I thought for sure I'd get a phone call with some excuse.
And yet...
[yowling]
...here I am.
Actually,
I've been rethinking certain things in my life.
Ooh, confession time.
Do tell.
Nothing specific.
I've just been feeling the need to...
change some things.
I know the feeling.
I've done some changing myself since we first met.
I was wilder then.
I thought maybe that's why you dropped me,
too unrefined for your social circle.
That wasn't it.
Truth be told, I like that about you.
I hope you're not entirely tamed.
No.
But I like to balance things more.
To balance.
[operatic singing]
- [groans] - [audience gasping]
"Wah, wah, wah." Crying clowns, who needs them, am I right?
Ladies and jerks,
there's been a slight change to tonight's program.
[all gasp]
[Harley] Along with the opera robbing you
- for 1,000 bucks a ticket... - [people gasping]
...we're gonna rob you too!
- Ha-ha! - [man gasps]
I'm also here for my puddin', who's been clown-napped.
To get him back, I have to kill...
- [gasps] - Eh, not you.
- Maybe you. - [gasps]
- Uh, you! - [gasps]
You I should kill for that stupid beard!
Oh, there you are.
Bruce Wayne.
Nice tux. Hope it's not a rental.
[Selina screams]
[laughing maniacally]
Whoa. [resumes laughing]
Tom, get the ladies to safety.
Okay, but I'm coming back.
What are you gonna do?
- [laughter continues] - She wants me, she'll follow me.
- Don't get killed. - [gunshots continue]
[people screaming]
Bingo-matic.
[groans]
- [grunting] - Hold still, you wascally wabbit.
[Harley whining]
- [screams] - Whoops.
Sorry, Rico!
[grunts]
Huh?
What?
[yelps]
Your jester drag was over in the '90s, now it's just sad.
[grunting]
- [whip cracks] - Oh. Oh!
- [whip cracks] - [grunts] Hyah!
[grunts]
[grunting]
[vocalizing circus music]
[grunting]
[people screaming]
[woman gasping]
[groaning]
What is it the theater folks say?
Break a face!
[groans]
Bats with Cats, now? Ugh.
[imitates retching]
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
- Batman. - Lie still. You've been hurt.
Not that bad.
Get the clown.
[gunshot]
[thunderclap]
[maniacal laughter]
[continues laughing]
Hmm?
[chuckles]
Oh, boy. This does not look good, does it?
Joker!
You know what the joke is here? I'm totally innocent.
Ugh, that doesn't even sound right, does it?
[grunts]
[groans]
[chuckling] Batsy, I was in a basement until five minutes ago.
I'm also looking for Harley. Have you seen her?
[grunting]
Stop. Stop!
[chuckling]
- [Joker screams] - [thunderclap]
[blows thudding]
[Joker cackling]
[Joker] Stop. Stop!
- [Batman grunts] - [pants]
- [Batman grunting] - [groaning]
Batman, stop... [spits]
[panting and wheezing]
Stop me if you've heard this one before.
Two guys walk into a bar...
[grunts]
[chokes]
[growls]
[choking]
[grunts]
I want you to break your code,
but for something I actually did.
- [Joker chokes] - [Gordon] Batman, don't!
I'm warning you, Batman, let him go!
[growling]
Do not make me do this, not over him.
- [growls] - I won't let you throw your life away.
[continues choking]
Gotham needs Batman.
[gurgles, splutters]
[sighs softly]
[thunder rumbling]
[sirens wailing]
[groaning]
[Joker breathing heavily]
That sentimental claptrap worked.
[clears throat]
Well, back to the grind.
Who's Robin these days?
Shut your damn mouth.
[laughing]
Strip him.
- [handcuffs clicking] - Double hand and leg cuffs.
Ooh, kinky.
[Joker laughing maniacally]
[thunderclap]
[priest] "Do not store up treasures here on earth,
where moths eat them and rust destroys them,
and where thieves break in and steal.
Store your treasures in heaven,
where moths and rust cannot destroy,
and thieves do not break in and steal.
Wherever your treasure is,
there the desires of your heart will also be.
Your eye is like a lamp,
it provides light for your body.
When your eye is healthy,
your whole body is filled with light.
But when your eye is unhealthy,
your whole body is filled with darkness.
And if the light you think you have is actually darkness,
how deep that darkness is."
[bats chittering]
[Batcomputer beeping]
[Nightwing] Knockout gas from a jack-in-the-box.
- Someone did their homework. - The knockout gas
only kept him unconscious for 15 minutes.
After coming to, Joker used the acid in his boutonniere to burn through his ropes.
How do you forget about the boutonniere?
He didn't. He wanted Joker to escape. [typing]
It was all planned so Joker would wake up in time to free himself,
as Harley attacked.
Then he ran to the opera,
arriving just as Tom was killed.
So, the Joker really is innocent?
This time.
The events of the past months reach as high as Superman and as low as the Joker.
All were set into motion by Hush.
But why kill Thomas Elliot?
He's got no connection to Batman.
But he does...
Did have one with Bruce Wayne.
Hush knows Bruce Wayne is Batman.
[Batcomputer trilling]
[cell phone beeps]
Hi, Selina. How are you?
- Sorry I haven't returned your calls. - [Bruce] It's okay.
I just wanted to thank you for... At the funeral.
That meant a lot to me.
I thought you could use a friend.
I'm so sorry about Thomas.
He seemed like one of the good ones.
He was.
Let's not wait another ten years before seeing each other, okay?
I'd like that.
There's just some business I need to take care of first.
If I were you, I wouldn't wait too long.
Are you saying I have competition?
Full disclosure?
I was seeing someone on and off before you called.
It's complicated.
Ah. A mystery man.
You have no idea.
Well, may the best mystery man win.
Be careful what you wish for.
- Stay safe, Bruce. - [cell phone beeps]
[cell phone beeps]
I didn't hear a thing.
[alarm blaring]
[sighs] What now?
[tires screeching]
- [Batcomputer beeps] - [Batman] Riddler.
That C-lister?
It's like they're all crawling out from under the carpets now.
It might be none of my business,
but I want you to know I'm for this thing.
Thing?
You and Selina.
Brucelina?
Anyway, I think she's good for you.
- She makes you... - [tires screeching]
...less intense.
[weapon beeps]
Hold on.
But if you're serious about her, you're going to have to tell her everything.
Otherwise it won't work.
- You're right. - I am?
It's none of your business.
[engine revving]
[beeps]
[tires screeching]
[groans]
- [grunts] - [groans]
[all grunting]
- [screams in pain] - [groans]
[both groan]
[panting]
[yelps]
[gasps]
Oh, shit.
[Riddler whimpers]
Hey, hey, I'm not resisting.
Where is he?
I know not whom you speak of.
Hush put you up to this.
Can you rephrase that in the form of a riddle?
[gasps and groans]
There was no riddle. That's the point.
Maybe I'm trying something new.
You know, shake things up.
♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪
[chuckles]
[gasps]
[handcuffs click]
[Hush] I'm glad you're here, Batman.
Who are you?
[Hush] I'm the man that will destroy your life before taking it.
We'll see about that.
[Hush] We already have.
Or at least Thomas Elliot has.
You'll run in circles as I kill your friends
one by one.
Face me.
[Hush] No one you care for is safe.
[Hush chuckles]
- [grunts] - [Hush laughs maliciously]
- [continues laughing] - [Batman grunting]
- [breathing heavily] - [laughter echoing]
[grunts]
[growls]
[laughter continues]
[Hush] Soon, Batman. Very soon.
[Batman breathing heavily]
[wind howling]
[Catwoman] Batman.
I'm not stealing anything, just looking around.
Old habits.
I know this is your home, Selina.
I have for a long time.
Right. World's Greatest Detective.
So why are you here?
I want you to leave town.
I don't know what you think we have,
but you don't get to tell me what to do.
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't serious.
Hush told me he's going to hurt the ones closest to me.
The ones I care for most.
Okay. Unexpected.
Whoever Hush is, he's been one step ahead of me the whole time.
He undoubtedly knows we're involved.
[sighs]
A few days ago, I suffered a loss.
It's been suggested that I'm handling it better
because I have you in my life.
In your life? Isn't that a bit much?
Maybe it's time to find out.
Wait.
Are you sure?
I am.
Then let me.
Bruce?
Bruce Wayne is Batman?
So, what now?
Oh, I can think of a few things.
[Selina moans]
I don't often say something was worth the wait,
because I hate waiting.
But that? Meow.
I feel the same.
[Selina] Oh, my God.
Your scars.
So many.
You, uh, remember these?
I'd just gotten my retractable claws.
Cost a small fortune.
They worked.
I had to upgrade my Kevlar body armor after that.
Uh, sorry?
That was why you broke it off with me.
- That's when you found out I was Catwoman. - A kleptomaniac.
What?
Sorry, you were beautiful, brilliant and accomplished.
You could do anything you wanted.
I assumed you did it because you couldn't stop, and...
And if you can't control your actions, you're not quite sane.
Whole.
And I was wrong.
You did change.
I'm sorry.
It's okay. We're in uncharted territory.
Since you're not leaving town,
maybe we should go to my place.
Wayne Manor?
Better.
Huh?
Whoa... [groans]
You did it.
You actually did it.
Alfred, he did it!
Hi, Selina. Dick Grayson.
Pleasure.
Ms. Kyle, I've taken the liberty to prepare tea with assorted biscuits.
So everyone knows who I am?
Just us and Damian, not Gordon.
- Who's Damian? - Robin, his... son.
[chuckles] You two are gonna have so much fun.
Hmm.
[loud thudding]
[whip cracks]
[freeze gun firing]
[blows thudding]
- [screams] - [grunting]
[groans]
[grunts and groans]
- [Catwoman grunts] - [groans]
[screams]
[groans]
- [groans] - [claws protract]
[steam hissing]
[yawns] Morning, hon.
Mwah.
Pardon me. Ah.
Oh, is that coffee?
Mmm.
We do have unclaimed coffee.
Yours is better.
Look at this.
I'll even pay.
Okay, you pay.
After we catch Hush.
Who's disappeared.
Maybe he heard about your hot, ferocious new partner,
or died setting a bear trap for you. Either way...
You go. Take the jet.
I have to be here.
You won't always. You know that, right?
Dick will take over one day. Isn't that what you've been grooming him for?
He's not ready.
And you were?
I'm not asking you to retire, Bruce. I'm asking you to spend some time away from this.
With me.
[sighs]
- If we were to do this, we'd have... - [squeals with glee]
[Bruce] Mmm.
[Alfred] I do apologize, sir.
It's Commissioner Gordon.
What is it, Jim?
Two minutes ago, a silent alarm was tripped at a medical practice.
The office belongs to that doctor Hush killed at the opera.
Thomas Elliot.
Yeah. Thought you'd want to know.
- Thank you. - [cell phone beeps]
There's been a break-in at Thomas' practice.
Ah. You know, maybe this is something that Batman needs to do alone.
This shouldn't take long.
[Gordon] What a mess.
Professional job.
No fingerprints. No DNA on any of the rifled papers.
[Gordon] Not a robbery.
Look at all this fencible crap. What were they after?
Information.
Glioblastoma multiforme brain tumor.
Nearly inoperable.
Well, that doesn't sound good.
It isn't. For him.
But it may be for us. You up for a trip to Arkham?
Oh, joy.
[cell phone beeps]
Professor,
it's time to pay our respects.
Going on patrol, Alfred. Can you man the comms?
Of course, Master Dick.
Well, I'm not sitting around doing nothing.
Mind if I tag along?
Hop in.
But I'm driving.
So, you guys used to do this every night?
Pretty much.
Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
You can ask.
How is it dating the man who is Batman?
It's weird.
Complicated.
Incredible.
The only drawback is he just won't shut up about his feelings.
[chuckles]
Good one.
[police dispatcher] 71 Charlie.
Report of a person breaking the lock on the Gotham Cemetery gate.
Suspect believed to be inside the grounds.
It's like Halloween.
Everything but the Great Pumpkin.
Catwoman, over here.
Wait, I've been here before.
So have you.
- But why would someone... - Nightwing!
[cackles]
[grunts]
[laughs]
[sighs]
[Catwoman groans]
[grunting]
[yells]
[strains]
Have a face full of fear!
[groans]
- [grunts] - [Catwoman groans]
[grunts]
[pants]
- [laughs demonically] - [birds cawing]
No! Get away!
[both grunt]
[breathes heavily]
[grunts]
[Scarecrow] Hold still.
[demonic] This will sting a bit.
[cackles, grunts]
[whip cracks]
Mmm. Scaredy-cat wants to play.
[grunting]
- How? - Nose plugs.
Have you smelled yourself lately?
[grunting]
[Scarecrow groans]
[whip cracks]
No, he'll kill me! I cannot fail.
- [Catwoman grunts] - [groans]
Sure you can. Ass.
[groaning]
[sighs]
[gasps]
[distorted growling]
[groans] Stay back!
Nightwing, it's Selina! Stop fighting me!
[groans]
[groans weakly]
[strains]
[shivers]
Get me to the car.
[groans]
[breathing heavily]
Alfred, are you listening?
I am.
I shall remote pilot the Batmobile to the Batcave
whilst you secure Scarecrow.
[engine roars]
- [gasps] - [thuds]
[groans]
[gasps]
[grunts]
- [groaning loudly] - [Hush] Now, now.
Wouldn't wanna make it too easy.
[device beeps]
So you finally figured it out?
I was getting bored.
This is nuts. How's the Riddler involved?
He's been locked in here.
When I saw the name Arthur Wynne in Thomas Elliot's files,
I knew he was more than a bit player.
Okay, I'll bite, who's Arthur Wynne?
Inventor of the crossword puzzle?
[scoffs] Cretin.
It was the name you used when visiting Dr. Thomas Elliot for your brain tumor.
[groans] That useless incompetent!
Supposed to be so brilliant.
He was the only doctor who'd operate on me.
After the surgery failed, he told me to get my affairs in order.
But I refused to let that be the end of me.
No, no, no, I found another way.
A Lazarus Pit.
[Riddler] All it took was a few bribes
and I was able to dip myself in its healing waters.
In that moment, I saw everything,
knew everything,
including the answer to my most frustrating riddle...
who is the Batman?
[screaming in agony]
It was so obvious, right in front of me the whole time.
In a flash of inspiration, I saw a way to destroy you
and get revenge on the criminal swine who disrespected me in the past.
I needed a new persona.
My true identity had to be kept hush, hush.
One by one, I convinced, cajoled,
and compelled the others to play their part...
and do my bidding.
You see, Batman, this is my game
and everyone follows my rules.
Even you.
That's some fancy monologuing for a guy in cuffs.
Batman caught you.
Oh, woe is me. Foiled again.
Time for a riddle, I suppose.
Riddle me this, Commissioner Gordon...
who is Batman?
Jesus.
[gurgles]
[Riddler on device] Oh, you shouldn't have done that.
I was using it to control him.
Shit, Clayface!
Finally, I'm free.
[grunts]
[inmates clamoring]
[laughs maliciously] All right, get him!
[inmate] Yeah, kill him!
[inmates yelling indistinctly]
Ooh, dinner and a show.
- [tray clatters] - This place isn't all bad.
[laughs maniacally]
[Joker cackling]
[Joker shouts indistinctly]
[Clayface groaning]
[inmate] Yeah!
- [inmates cheering] - You're seeing another villain already?
I thought we had something special.
Shut up, freak!
"Freak"? Batsy, are you going to let him talk to me that way?
[inmate] Get him, Clayface!
Oh, it is so like you not to defend me.
[grumbles] How many others were there? No, don't tell me!
[Joker sobs]
I guess the joke's on me.
And scene.
[Clayface growls]
[yells]
[chuckles] Way not to die, Batsy.
Gordon! As usual, you're laying there with your thumb up your ass.
Do something, man!
[inmates jeering]
[Joker chuckles]
- [gunshots] - [inmate] Yeah!
- [Joker] Bullseye! - [grumbling]
[Joker cackling]
[gun clicks]
[inmates cheering]
[muffled thudding]
[Clayface screaming]
[Joker] Now you're just raining on my parade.
[Clayface grunts]
[water releasing]
[Joker] Oh, no! [cackles]
[Clayface screams]
- [coughing] - [Joker] Oh!
[breathing heavily]
Anyone got a mint?
[Joker cackles]
[Riddler on device] Seems you're still playing catch-up, Batman.
Let's end this, Hush.
Agreed, but you come to me.
You see, I went to the graveyard to catch a bat
but was off by a letter.
Toodles.
- [device beeps] - What did that mean?
[metal rattling]
[gasps]
Ah, admiring my beauty mark?
The damage to you may be more severe.
Batman will find you.
Of course he will.
Within seconds, he'll have dissembled the device
I used to turn Clayface into my doppelganger.
He'll then know the effective range is ten miles,
and search that radius.
Which means...
- we better get started. - [device beeps]
Batman will then contact Alfred to confirm you're missing.
[straining]
Batman will come alone.
He'll deduce I've prepared a place for our showdown.
He'll compile a list of every factory and warehouse within the ten-mile radius,
of which there are 62.
He'll winnow that list to 14,
too many to search one-by-one.
[strains] Shut up! Shut up!
Since I've left no other clues,
Batman will revisit the name, Arthur Wynne,
and check the names of the 14 places to find that only one
is an anagram for "Arthur Wynne."
"New Thurnary."
Even allowing for traffic, he should be here any minute.
Screw you!
- No time. - [straining]
[Riddler] Riddle me this.
"The less of me you have, the more I am worth.
What am I?"
Answer?
A friend.
I'm going to kill you.
You're not going anywhere except down.
- [device beeps] - [machine whirring]
[screams]
[groans]
[metal creaking]
[grunts]
What's a bat to do?
- [straining] - [claws grating metal]
- [grunts] - [Catwoman gasps]
[strains]
The briefest of reprieves, I assure you.
Ha!
[grunts]
Ha!
[grunts]
[grunts and groans]
[Riddler groans]
[groans]
- [Riddler grunts] - [groans]
- [Riddler cackles] - [groaning]
[groans]
Tonight, I'll show them all
by doing what none of them could,
killing the Batman!
- [Riddler grunts] - [groans]
[grunts]
Can you feel it, Bruce?
Can you feel it all slipping away?
[grunting]
[straining and grunting]
What do you think of me now?
- [groans] - [bone crunches]
You talk too much.
[scoffs and cackles]
[both grunting]
[yells]
I repeat, what do you think of me now?
That you're the same insecure C-lister you were
before you went into the Lazarus Pit.
Big talk from a dead man!
- [grunting] - [Batman] You tell riddles a fifth grader could solve
- and you call yourself the Riddler. - [groans in frustration]
The sheer lack of imagination is staggering.
[pants] You take that back!
A one-gimmick hack.
The joke of the underworld.
Damn you. Shut up!
[grunting]
You think you got the best of Ivy, Joker, and Bane?
Once they find out Hush was The Riddler...
[Catwoman straining]
- ...they'll hunt you down like a dog. - [grunts]
It won't be pretty.
[high-pitched] I'm not scared of them anymore!
I'll kill them just like I'm going to kill you.
[grunts and groans]
[yells]
- [Riddler gasping] - The effects of the Pit don't last forever.
I'm betting even now you can feel it.
All that strength and genius slipping away
just when you need it most.
No, no!
- [grunts] - [claws protract]
[picking lock]
Riddle me this, who's his own worst enemy?
[yelling]
[groans]
- [electricity crackling] - [machine whirring]
[gasps]
[grunts]
I have you now!
[grunts]
[picking lock]
[cylinders screech]
[loud explosion]
[grunts and groans]
[whirring]
[grunts]
- [whirring intensifies] - [glass cracking]
[loud explosion]
[grunts and groans]
[shouts]
[Riddler groaning]
- [Riddler yells] - [screams]
- [Riddler cackles] - [explosions]
I win! I win!
I win!
[groans]
Nine lives, remember?
Now let's beat the crap out of this asshole.
[growling]
[all grunting]
[groans]
[screaming]
[loud explosion]
- [groaning] - [Batman grunting]
[grunts]
[Riddler whimpering]
Ahh! Oh...
[Riddler gasping]
[screaming]
[straining]
[gasps]
Don't let me die! Please!
Pull me up. Pull me up!
- Please! - [straining]
Leave him! [groans]
- [rope creaking] - Go!
[explosions]
[nervously] Wait!
You're Batman, you can't let me die!
Screw this shit.
[claws protract]
[grunts]
[screaming]
[explosions]
[explosions continue]
[both grunt]
[both groan]
[Catwoman panting]
He didn't have to die.
What?
He didn't have to die.
You're crazy.
You're absolutely insane.
He killed your friend.
Tried to murder Nightwing. Hell, he almost killed me and you're sorry he's dead?
I had to try.
If someone can be saved,
I have to try.
You do, don't you?
It's a compulsion.
You and your goddamn code.
And you'll die because of it, you know this, right?
Will that make it all better?
Without a code,
I'm no better than them.
I'm such a stupid fool.
I can't believe I let myself get caught up in this again.
No, I changed!
I would have changed more, a lot more, for you!
For us!
Selina, I...
But you won't.
Or can't.
[sirens wailing in distance]
Maybe someday.
But not today.
Goodbye, Bruce.
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