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Oi. What you doing?
Oi!
Look at this.
Fuck!
Marcus!
Jenny.
What was that?
You were all over the shop.
Yeah, the joke shop.
Whoo!
Yeah?
You wanna get up and say that to my face, you little skank?
And that will do.
She started it, sir.
Do I look like I care who started it?
You may go.
Except Sarah.
Sarah, why are you here?
- I don't know, sir. - And neither do I.
I don't know why you bother coming to my class.
Oh, I get it.
You were looking for an easy ride.
A doss, right?
Performing Arts.
For when Media Studies seems a bit too much like hard work.
Right?
Wrong. Wrong.
Because come hell or high water, you will be going out
onto that Theatre Royal stage.
I don't care whether it's to fart the national anthem.
By next lesson, I want an act.
All right?
Now get out of my classroom.
And close the door.
What time d'you call this?
Sorry, all right?
I had to see a man about a dog.
A dog?
- We're getting a dog? - Oh, sure.
We're getting a few, actually.
They're gonna wee and poo all over the house
and you're gonna have to pick it up.
Ugh. So rank.
- Plop-plop! - Yeah!
Plop-plop!
Oh, my.
Give me your crayons.
Why are you drawing?
Shit.
- Ugh! - They're hard.
They're what we've got.
- Well, we're not eating them! - Hey.
Shush.
All right. Here's the deal.
One, you eat your noodles and you don't complain.
Two, I'm gonna go to work,
which I'm always really late for.
Three, you lot behave yourselves and get ready for bed,
and four...
I'm gonna bring you back some crisps.
- Space Raiders! - And chocolate.
Do we have a deal?
Um. Excuse me.
Are you Sarah?
Oh.
- Thank you. - That way out.
Hey.
Everything okay?
Only, you...
you weren't on the floor.
Yeah. Sorry. I was just taking out the bins.
Sarah.
Be really helpful if you could do tomorrow.
Jamie's sick.
- Time? - Two.
I can't. I can't do before five.
Well, I wouldn't ask unless I was desperate.
Well, I really can't. I'm sorry, Vince.
I can't do that time.
You know, when I gave you this job,
it was with a view to you going full-time.
And as it is, you're hardly managing
the part-time hours I'm giving you.
I mean, it just makes me think, Sarah, that...
I dunno, that you've got somewhere else
that's more important to you.
I want this to be a priority for you.
The arcade.
It is. I really love this job, Vince.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I mean...
I'm just not feeling that you want this job.
All right.
All right, fine. I'll do it.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- You sure? - Yeah.
Thank you, Sarah.
It's much appreciated.
Really?
No, no, no.
They have a problem with talking to me.
I didn't even say anything wrong.
It's not like I swore or anything, eh?
Yeah, yeah.
So what else?
And a fiver on there.
- Give it me. - Sure.
I'll give it to you.
It's not just Kiwi Doug
with his eyes on Sophie.
Aww.
Best friend Rueben is also trying his luck.
Yeah, another one.
We learn to put your shoulders on...
Okay, I got it, I got it.
I'll teach you all how to fall.
That would have worked.
Okay, let me get your feet on your hips.
Arms.
The girls, girls seem to be drawn to my arms.
- Close the door. - Who knows?
- You and me. - How are they doing it?
This is what happens when you do leg exercises.
This is not working.
We're bringing you here.
- Hey! What you playing at? - Come on.
Shoes. Let's go.
Jesus Christ.
Come on!
Mom?
Mom, I'm sorry.
Work needs me in early today.
Please, can you pick up Marcus and Lucy from school?
Mm.
Is that okay?
Mm-hm.
- Promise you'll be there? - Yes!
Will you just close the door?
Okay. Thank you very much.
Mommy's picking you up from school today.
Why? Why aren't you?
Because work, that's why. Stand up, please.
What about the bike?
I need the bike for work.
So, yes, for once in your tiny little lives,
you're gonna have to walk.
Now, come on, look sharp or you're gonna be late.
Ooof, crack a window.
Smells like ghetto in here all of a sudden.
- Ooh. - Bitch, say what?
I said you smell like shit.
Got a problem with that?
No, no. See I can always shower,
but you're always gonna have
a face like a bulldog shitting out a football.
- Whoo. - Yo.
Yo' watch yourself.
Yo? Yo' watch myself or what?
Or what?
You and your crew gonna come merk me, yeah?
You're well street, you lot, aren't ya?
Fucking quality street.
Yo, Sarah Taylor.
Yo, Leroy.
Do you know any other words other than "Yo," Leroy?
Oh, leave it out, Sarah.
We were trying to practice before you came in
- and started acting all hard. - Practice?
But you're already perfect at taking away people's will
to live with your stupid fucking songs!
And no, no, doesn't matter how many times
you play along with Jane,
she's not gonna go out with you.
She's too busy letting Dan from Year 13
finger her down the Lido, aren't ya?
Fuck off, Sarah Taylor. No-one even likes you.
What, like I give a fuck, Jane.
Like I give a fuck.
- You're all... - And scene...
Yo, Sarah Taylor, outside. Now.
She started it.
Oh, did she? How fascinating. Outside.
- But, sir... - When I say out, you go out.
That's how this little interaction works!
Outside, now!
Up.
She started it.
She was saying...
I let her have it.
You did.
You let them all have it.
Did you enjoy it?
So you do have a hobby.
You made them laugh.
You almost made some of them cry, too, but...
mostly, you made them laugh.
Stand-up.
I am standing up.
Your act.
Stand-up, as in comedy.
Two minutes. No swear words.
Jokes?
I want you to go figure out what comedy is.
- Oh. But, sir... - No buts.
Here.
Pen?
Here.
Write these names down.
Bill Hicks.
Richard Pryor.
George Carlin.
Chris Rock.
Frankie Boyle.
- These guys are... - All guys.
Joan Rivers, Victoria Wood, Katherine Ryan.
So...
You understand what your homework is?
Is that Sarah for yes?
Good.
All right.
Off you go, then. Library.
Right then, you horrible lot!
Hello, Glasgow.
Right, then. How you doing, wee man?
Are you a weird-looking straight guy
or a really weird-looking gay guy?
I'd cum on your face just to cover it up.
Depends how much you'd pay me.
How much would I pay you?
That was your fucking effort, was it?
When your mom gave birth, she shat you out
so she could leave her pussy free
for fucking the doctors.
You with the tattoos down there, man?
You look like the pad I keep beside my phone.
You know what I mean?
You look like you only remember your own name
because your mom's got it tattooed on her lower back.
The Olympics, I couldn't get tickets
for the synchronized swimming,
so instead, I watched a woman drown through a kaleidoscope.
Some people say you should nevr joke about rape.
I probably shouldn't have laughed through that, should I?
Fucking hell.
Some people say you should never joke about rape,
rape can never be funny.
To those people I say,
imagine Piers Morgan
being raped by Lion-O from ThunderCats.
Those are just what-ifs, they're not real.
It's been a pleasure talking to you, Glasgow.
Take care of yourselves, all the best.
Oh, shit.
Sarah? You're early today.
Yeah. I'll be back in a minute.
You've just fired yourself.
No, I haven't.
No, I haven't, Vince. I'm really sorry.
Well, sorry's not good enough, is it?
I'm only a couple of minutes late.
Please don't fire me.
Look. I know it was short notice, Sarah,
but you did say that you'd be here.
I'm really sorry. I'm a couple of minutes late.
Well, look, I've, uh...
I've said my final word on it.
The conversation's over.
The conversation's over?
The conversation's right over now, is it?
Fucking hell.
It's a fucking arcade.
What are you Richard fucking Branson?
No. You, you are a fat, horrible cunt!
And I'll have that polo shirt back, please.
Sarah!
Go fuck yourself!
And you?
You can go fuck yourself an' all.
Wanker!
Fuckin' wanker.
And our guests tonight
know the value of everything and the cost of nothing...
Mom?
...which is why we pay them in Woolworths' vouchers.
Mom?
Joining me tonight
are four money savvy comedians.
A big round of applause for Team A,
- Ava Vidal and Steve Bugeja. - Mm?
And Team B, Gráinne Maguire and Jeff Mirza.
Where are Marcus and Lucy?
- Mm? - Mom, where are Marcus and Lucy?
I thought they was with you.
Where is Sarah, then? Does she have a phone number?
- Sarah's here. - Oh.
I found them wandering around on their own.
They looked a little lost.
- They're fine, thanks. - Okay. Well, kids their age
really shouldn't be wandering about by themselves.
Excuse me?
Uh, I mean, you know,
there are some people around here who might...
There are some people around here
who should mind their own business.
I'm only trying to help.
Yeah, why don't you go try somewhere else?
- Daddy! - Hey. How're you doing?
Nice.
Wait, wait, wait.
I'm sorry, all right?
You said Mommy was picking us up,
and you made a deal.
Everyone went.
It was just us.
Come on.
You know how Mommy gets when she's not feeling well.
I'm here now.
Come on, let's go.
Come on.
Can we get some chips?
Yeah, sure.
Really?
Yeah, sure. Just give me a fiver and I'll go grab 'em.
Hmm.
The moves are fine, as far as they go.
Thing is, ladies and gentlemen,
anyone can learn a routine and keep time.
But that's not what we're about here.
For this routine to mean anything,
for any of your acts to mean anything,
they need to come from somewhere deep inside you.
Don't just perform the routine.
Inhabit the routine.
Yeah, well, we actually worked really hard on it.
Oh.
You worked really hard on it, did you?
And how many times have you been through it?
Well, that's fine then.
It's not as though you want to be a dancer.
It's not as though you want to travel the world,
connecting with people, places, and culture through your art.
Because if you did, you would work at it.
Now, next lesson,
I want you to bring me your A game.
Show me that you want it.
And you'll need to find a name for your crew.
Something dynamic.
Something that suggests a bit of movement!
How about "The Bowel Movements"?
Hark.
Does anyone else hear a comedian in the room?
Okay, clear the floor,
clear the floor, ladies and gentlemen.
I give you, all the way from the Isle of Thanet,
Sarah Taylor!
Come on, Sarah, quick.
On the floor, on the floor, on the floor.
Once again.
Give her a round of applause.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Sarah Taylor!
This is the bit where you say stuff.
The stuff we agreed you'd work on.
Did you look up any of those people I gave you?
And who did you watch?
Boyle.
Oh, good!
Okay, so did you write any material of your own?
Nothing?
You haven't had time to write so much as even a pun?
Yeah.
That's right. Soak it up, Sarah,
because this is exactly what it will be like
at the Theatre Royal.
Three hundred people staring at you,
and you, staring at the floorboards.
You just couldn't care less, could you?
Go on, Sarah.
Off you go.
You've clearly got nothing to contribute here.
The fuck you looking at, eh?
Damn right I couldn't care less, motherfucker.
You want jokes, Mr. Hale? Do ya?
You want motherfucking jokes?
All right. I'll give you some jokes.
How many drama teachers
does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the light bulb...
One to...
inhabit the light bulb.
Okay.
Motherfucker wants jokes.
I'll give you fucking jokes.
What's so funny?
Come here!
Yeah, in a bit.
Babies.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
They want us out?
I don't know. I don't know.
They're saying we're three months behind.
Hmm.
But that can't be possible.
The housing goes straight to them.
They must have made a mistake.
You've been signing on, haven't you?
Yeah. I think so. Yeah.
You think so?
You've been signing on, haven't you?
That's all you have to do!
I said I'm sorry!
Fuck me. Fuck me!
Marcus, go watch TV with Lucy.
I don't want to.
Everything is fine,
I just need to talk to Mommy for a bit.
It's okay. Go on.
It's all right.
I'm sorry.
Stop saying you're fucking sorry.
We had a deal.
All you have to do is sign on, the rent gets paid,
and I... I look after the rest.
The agency's going to take us to fucking court.
Well, is it... is it that bad?
What part of this do you think isn't bad?
But don't... don't they say that we can pay?
With what?
They want nine hundred and fifty-seven pounds
and eighty-nine pence.
A fucking grand.
I can get a job.
You can't drag your ass out of bed
and down the job center once a week,
and you think you can go get a job?
They wouldn't employ you as a fucking speed bump.
I'm sorry.
I told you to stop saying sorry.
But I am.
I've been so sorry.
Why are we stopping here?
I forgot something at home, I'm gonna go get it.
I'll be here for you later, okay?
Deal?
Promise.
I'm gonna be right here.
Now, go on.
Come on.
See you later.
Fucking thing.
Ticket number 43 to desk number 5, please.
I don't know. What's she doing? Hm.
Ticket number 44 to desk 12, please.
How can I help?
My benefits have stopped.
Do you have any idea why that might be?
I've been ill.
Right. Well, let's see
what we can do about that then, shall we?
- Name? - Karen Taylor.
Uh, first line of address and postcode.
18 Gladstone Rise, CT90PQ.
And date of birth?
9th of January, 1982.
I'm really sorry, there seems to be a problem with my system.
Could you just wait here for me for one second?
Sure.
Ms. Taylor?
Would you like to come with me?
Are you aware of the seriousness of what you've tried to do?
False representation to claim benefit
carries a maximum penalty of five years in prison.
Well, it's not false, because she is my mom.
She just...
she can't come in today.
Right, well, I can see here
that your mom's council tax and housing has been stopped,
based on her failure to attend her scheduled JSA appointments.
Yeah, I know.
Why do you think I'm here?
We need them started up again, please.
Well, I can't discuss this with you,
I need to speak to your mom.
Why?
I can't open an appeal or an investigation
without the named account holder being present.
You'll have to get her down here yourself.
She's not well.
She's not well?
What do you mean?
Hmm?
Right, well, I think the best thing for me to do today
is do a referral to the Social Services.
She's fine. We just need our housing.
I can see you've had a spell in care in the past,
and that your mother...
She is fine, really.
She's just really tired.
But if she cannot fulfill her duty of care to you, Sarah,
then I need to make social services aware.
I know you've had some involvement
with them in the past,
but that doesn't mean to say that anybody's going anywhere.
Okay?
We just want our benefits.
It's important for you to know
that I'm here to help.
I know all about your help.
I'm just trying to do what's best
given the circumstances.
Yeah, well, you know what?
Fuck your circumstances, all right.
If you really wanted to help me, then you'd give us the money
to stop them kicking us out of our fucking house
instead of sitting there with a face
like a retard in a coma.
What the fuck you looking at?
Yeah, you and me both.
Whoo!
♪ Da-dah-di-da ♪
Oh! Just in time.
♪ Da-dah-da-da-da-dah ♪
Jesus.
♪ Ba-ba-be-baaah ♪
Is it Christmas?
No.
It's just nice to make things look nice sometimes, isn't it?
Aren't we only supposed to use them at Christmas...
I think we can use them whenever we want, can't we?
'Cause it's our house.
Right. Sarah, do you want to give me your plate?
Mm. It smells all right, this.
And there you are.
Lovely.
Oops!
Just enough for you.
So, how was everybody's day?
Sarah?
Fine. Great.
You know, I was so excited about you all coming home,
I could barely wait.
- Barely, eh? - Yeah.
This looks lovely.
Ah!
You don't like it, do you?
No, it's good.
Isn't it, Lucy?
Mom, it's fine.
It's great. Really.
I can't do anything right.
I can't do a fucking thing right!
Mom.
Mom, stop it.
Do your breathing. Come on.
I can't. I can't.
I'm...
I'm fucking useless.
I'm a fucking speed bump!
Mom.
Jesus.
Mommy's just really tired after all that cooking.
Aren't you? Come on.
Come on.
Everything's fine. Just carry on, please.
All right? Carry on.
Come on.
Come on, Mom.
Need a hand with anything?
Suit yourself.
Can I have a go?
Keep it.
Who's gonna buy the lady a drink, then?
Sarah fucking Taylor?
Lady?
I wouldn't piss in your mouth if you were dying of thirst.
No?
Save that for your bum chums, do ya?
You best fuck off.
D'you have a pen?
No, you'd need a cock to do that, wouldn't ya?
What are you writing?
Nothin'.
You look thirsty.
Lloyd.
A bourbon, and...
Same.
What's the occasion then?
Hmm.
Celebrating.
I made a sale.
What did you sell?
A sumptuous two-bed property.
Sea view.
Ex-local authority.
Recently renovated by yours truly.
Three-twenty.
Fuck if I could get in.
So you're an Estate Agent then?
I am a developer, thank you very much.
Right.
Plenty of work round here for you lot, then.
Yeah, you're telling me.
And I can see the future.
This place is gonna be the next Brighton.
You know the DFLs, yeah?
You know 'em? The Down From Londons?
And Arlington House?
The Shard of Margate.
This is gonna be Shoreditch by the fucking sea.
And they're turning this place into a gold mine.
And I'm buying up the ground floor.
Keep the change, yeah?
To the future, then.
Oh, yes.
To the future.
Have you got somewhere else we can go?
You should've seen this place
before I got my hands on it.
Probably a fucking crack den.
Smelt like one.
It is nice though, huh?
I specced the fit out myself.
Sold for three-twenty.
Guess how much it cost me.
Don't know.
Guess.
I don't know.
Come on, guess.
I don't know.
One-ten.
That's how much.
One-ten.
It's fucking ludicrous.
I mean, with the winnings from this one,
I'm going to buy a couple more.
Then strip, renovate, repeat.
That is how we do.
Cheers.
I'm so hot for you, babe.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- Hot for me, are you? - Yeah.
Things I want to do to you?
You're gonna think you've won the pleasure lottery in heaven.
Okay, we'll see about that.
Let's just fuck.
Or let's not.
Ah, come on.
Come on, what's wrong?
Come on.
What?
The thing is...
I'm not old enough to win the pleasure lottery.
I'm not even old enough to play the National Lottery.
Actually, you know what? I...
I don't even care, but...
Just get out.
Yeah?
All right. I'll get out.
- All right. Now. - Mm-hm.
I might head on down back to the club, actually.
Yeah. Fucking go for it.
See if anyone remembers the guy in a cheap suit
plying a 15-year old with drinks all night.
You know, grinding her up and down on the dance floor.
Hands all over her ass and her tits.
I'm not asking for much.
What's in that money-fold should do.
Are you...
Are you trying to blackmail me?
You little cunt.
That's just how we do, I'm afraid.
You know, the police, they won't help you.
We didn't even fuckin'...
There's nothing in there. All right?
Well, I don't mean the police.
I think it's your lovely wife who'd be most interested
in what you've been up to tonight.
I don't think she'd be very happy to find out
that you're into girls
who haven't even finished their GCSEs.
It may even make her think twice
about having you round her daughter.
Shut up!
I think it's in that pocket.
- Fucking take it. - Okay.
Get out.
Get the fuck out!
Get out!
You fucking cunt!
Okay. Oh.
You look... you look A-okay.
Let's see.
Oh, you've gone and spilt something there.
Hold on.
There you go.
Lovely.
Why didn't you wake me up?
Oh, you looked like you could do with a lie-in.
I need to get them ready for school.
No, my darling. Look, they're all ready to go.
You cleaned?
Um, I'm sorry about last night.
I was just, you know...
I really wanted to do something nice
and then it, I just got all, you know...
It's okay.
You're my angel, you know that?
I'd be nothing without you. We all would be.
Oh, by the way, uh, this came.
We should open it really, shouldn't we?
Guess so. Pass it here.
Sarah!
What?
Oh, my god, what is that?
Problem solved.
What? How?
From work. I got an advance.
Oh my god. How, how, how...
How much is that?
Two hundred and eighty.
Come here!
What did you say to them?
This and that.
It should be enough to put them off, you know,
while we find the rest, but...
Ah, that's amazing, Sarah.
Oi, you two, come and give your sister a hug.
Yes.
We're gonna be all right, aren't we?
We're always all right, as long as we stick together.
Yeah? As long as we stay together.
You know what we should do?
We should celebrate.
We need to have a party.
Well, we need to get to school.
Shall we go to Dreamland?
- Shall we go to Dreamland? - Mom.
Dreamland, Dreamland, Dreamland!
Mom, have you seen the prices on that place?
Oh, well, we ain't been since it's reopened.
Oh, come on.
Couple of rides.
For the kids.
Please, Sarah.
- Please, Sarah. - Please.
Please.
- Please, Sarah. - Please!
- Oh, Sarah. - Please!
Sarah, please.
- Please, Sarah. Please. - Sarah, please.
- We love you, Sarah. - Please. Please.
Whoo!
One family ticket, please.
There's no family tickets.
The prices are there.
Well, it says it's free to enter.
Yeah, it's free to get in,
but you need tokens or wristbands for the rides.
Well, then, we'll have just one adult
and three children, please.
Mom, we could just get a few tokens.
Come on, Sarah, just give her the money.
She's waiting.
Here you are.
Lovely. Right, come on then.
Oi, you two.
- Come on, Sarah. - Come on, Sarah!
Yeah, come on, Sarah.
Wow!
It's massive!
Whoo!
Right, so what d'you want to go on first, then?
- Helter-skelter! - Big wheel!
You know what? I think Sarah should decide.
What do you wanna go on, sweetheart?
Uh, I dunno.
How about the...
dodgems?
Are you okay, baby?
Are you okay?
Ride 'em, cowboy, ride 'em.
Right, who's hungry?
- Who wants chips? - Me, me, me!
Uh, Mom, I...
I'll get you some chips, yeah?
Come on, you two.
Sarah?
I know you're there, I can hear the music.
Why aren't you in school?
I'm gonna have to take this to the Head.
Uh, yeah. We have to go now.
School called.
I don't wanna.
Uh, get up, please.
We need to go to school right now,
- they just called. - Right, listen.
If we go on all the rides now,
then that's nothing to look forward to
the next time we come back, is it?
Oh, looks like they don't want to come back again.
We do! We do!
Well, pick your chips up and come on.
Thank you.
Don't worry about it, babe.
Listen, what you gonna do about the rent?
Uh, I'll give it to the agency after school.
Thing is, you can't be skippin' off work.
Not after they, you know, given you that big advance.
Um, I'll do it tomorrow, then.
Why don't you let me do it? 'Cause I'm out and about now.
Mom, I...
No, listen. I know.
I know that I've been a bit up and down lately.
But today's a really good day,
and I just... I just want to be of some help.
Come on.
Let me be more than a speed bump.
All right.
Good girl.
Come here, you.
I love ya.
Right, come on, you. Off to school.
Better eat them chips up.
Can we just hurry up?
...efforts to lose the card
at about the middle of the deck.
You should find that it always makes its way straight back...
to the top.
That's good Tommy, really great.
And The Matrix called.
Keanu Reeves wants his coat back.
Okay.
All right.
Next.
Emma!
Uh, one second, Emma.
And?
Now I'm here.
Why?
Dress rehearsal.
Oh, wrong.
If you were here for the dress rehearsal,
you'd have been here at nine o'clock
like everyone else.
Instead of which you show up at midday.
And you're out of the showcase.
But I did what you asked.
Look.
I made a routine.
This isn't about your routine.
This is about showing some respect.
Come on, Mr. Hale.
I've got some material here.
I think it's really gonna interest you.
You show up three hours late,
disrupt your classmates' last rehearsal
before they get out on that Theatre Royal stage,
and you still expect to go on?
You've shown quite clearly where your priorities lie.
Do you think Frankie Boyle
tits about at a theme park all day
before getting out on that stage and killing it like that?
No, because he's a craftsman.
He channels his anger, his frustration,
his vulnerability, and works them into his comedy.
Work, Sarah.
Dedication.
But you're not a worker, are you?
I know more about work
than Derren Brown-finger up there.
Call this fucking work?
Titting around on stage
with this bunch of no-talent fuck buckets.
Telling them that they could go far
if they just wished hard enough.
You think your stupid showcase
is gonna send us around the world?
It's a joke.
This is Margate for fuck's sake.
The only person this shit matters to, is you.
And you're old, and you're stuck here.
All you have is us, and it is fuckin' tragic.
Is something wrong, Sarah?
No.
Everything's just fuckin' fine.
Um, Emma.
All of you. Five minutes.
Fuck it.
Think you're Simon fucking Cowell?
Fucking wanker.
Sarah?
Sarah.
For fuck's sake.
Well, come on, then. Let's go.
Aren't we stopping?
...space.
There were obviously things that were going to take place.
So how many of these posters
have you mailed out?
Ooh, we've... you know, we haven't mailed them out.
Are you all right, kids? How was your day?
You wanna see the bunch of jokers
they've got on this show.
Whose van is that outside?
Oh, that's ours. I got it today.
This bloke was practically giving it away.
It's cool, innit?
We got a van?
Yeah. We got a van, in't we?
Now we can go away wherever we want.
You know? Like a proper family.
Please.
Please tell me you paid the rent.
Ah, lighten up.
Jesus Christ.
Stop being such a Buzz Killington.
You bought a fucking van!
I bought it for us.
You haven't even got a license anymore.
I still remember how to drive.
I'm gonna drive youse all to school, innit?
It's only got two seats.
It doesn't matter. It's got a big boot.
What, big enough for us to move into
when they repossess our house?
Why have you gotta do this?
Why do you have to spoil everything?
Can't you see how happy the babies are?
It's so fucking typical of you.
Why?
Where did it come from?
You need to take it back, Mom, please.
Why are you such a drag?
Ever since you were born, you been a fucking drag.
You been fucking stopping me doing what I wanna do.
Fucking no wonder I'm depressed.
All right, then, Mom. Just go upstairs, will ya?
Fucking telling me what to do? Are you?
You fucking telling me what to do?
Just go upstairs.
- Are you the boss? - Go upstairs, Mom.
You're in charge, are you? You in charge?
Are you the boss? Hm?
Are you the big fucking boss?
Marcus, Lucy, go upstairs.
Oh, yeah. Go on, babies. Go on.
Go on upstairs. Sarah says so.
Fucking she's in charge now, yeah.
Are you the big fucking boss?
Fuck you!
Fuck you! Fuck all of youse.
I'm fucking off out of here, you little bunch of cunts.
Where's Mommy gone?
She'll be back when she's calmed down.
That's not what she said.
Well, sometimes Mommy says things she doesn't mean.
But I want Mommy back.
You're stuck with me, okay?
But I want Mommy.
Well, she's fucked off, okay?
So you're stuck with me, and I'm stuck with you.
Now go to fucking sleep.
Ms. Taylor?
Karen?
Are you in there?
We need to talk to you.
Can you open the door, please?
We're only here to help you.
Get down there.
- What's happening? - Just be quiet.
It's important we speak to you.
We understand you're not very well.
If you're in there, open the door.
It's a big day for you today.
Why?
Well, I was thinking.
'Cause you're all big, and grown up, and all of that,
that maybe today, you get to walk home by yourself.
I don't want to.
Marcus, you've got to start growing up.
Well, I don't want to!
You'll be fine, okay? You've got each other.
Come on.
Get up, please.
Get up now!
Come on, hurry up.
Wait.
Right, I'll see you at home later.
What do you want?
I want my job back.
I'm ready to go full-time.
What you said to me the other day?
Sorry.
See...
It's that attitude, isn't it, Sarah?
- I mean, I just don't... - Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Vince.
Please. I need this job.
It won't happen again, I promise.
Please, Vince.
All right, you start work now.
You work from noon to close every day.
Okay.
How much?
Christ. Same rate as before.
But I'm working full-time now.
Fine.
Hello, stranger.
I thought you'd quit.
Well, you know,
couldn't keep away.
Mmm, do you... do you suppose you've got a break coming up?
You know.
Vince is on the floor.
Five minutes?
I told you, Vince is on the floor.
Just play the machines a bit. He'll be gone soon.
Look, I... I've got to get home.
- I've got to get back. - I can't.
Just wait a minute, would ya?
I've missed you.
Fine, uh, it...
Forty quid?
Come on.
I can't believe you, Sarah!
On my business premises!
I'm gonna have to call in the police.
- I'm... - Oh, please don't, Vince.
It's soliciting!
On my business premises!
Any idea what they can do to me?
Please, Vince, don't.
You've left me no option!
But I had to do it, Vince! I had to do it.
I'm the only one bringing in any money.
I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
I did not mean to cause you any trouble.
You've got to believe me.
I did not mean to cause you any trouble.
Really.
Yep, you're in a corner.
But I'm sorry, you are in an even bigger corner now.
God, please don't, Vince.
Please.
Surely, there must be something that I can do for you.
To make you forget, I don't know.
1-0-1 Police.
Please hold a moment.
Hello. 1-0-1 Police.
- How can I direct your call? - Come here.
Hello?
Are you there?
Can you talk?
How can I help...
It's no big deal, really.
All right.
Um...
Well, um...
Do you or do, do I?
Yeah.
Come on.
That's nice.
Mm, yeah.
Ooh. That's... that's nice.
- What are you doing? - Come on.
What are you doing?
Come on then, Sarah.
Vince! No!
Now...
Stop it!
I'm not going to be long.
What are you doing? Get off me!
- Now, I'm not going to do much. - Stop it!
Quiet, quiet, quiet.
Stop it!
Sarah.
All right, baby.
I'm sorry about before.
I know I probably said some things that were like...
It's like when I remember it,
it's like it wasn't me that said it, but...
but then I know that it was.
But I'm gonna get better.
In fact, I've started. Look.
I took the van back,
and the bloke gave me a hundred quid.
A hundred quid won't do it.
Well, it's a start, though, innit?
We'll find the rest, if we're smart.
- What, with your job. - I lost my job.
Well, we'll sell some stuff, then.
We haven't got any stuff.
Of course we have.
Got the couch.
Got the microwave.
Mm? Got the babies.
They're a matching pair.
Mom, stop it.
Ah, I can get a job.
Mom.
Look, I know what you're going to say.
I know exactly what you're going to say.
I'll even get a job as a speed bump if I have to.
Stack shelves, fry fish.
You can get another job, too.
Or you could do a course, maybe.
I could do a course.
And then, we can have the house exactly as we want it.
We can even have some treats,
what, with the money you earn on the side.
Then we'll go back to Dreamland.
What did you just say?
We can go back to Dreamland and go on all the rides.
Once we've got back up on our feet.
No, about what I earn on the side.
Oh, you know, well,
anything extra that you can get your hands on.
You knew.
You fucking knew.
I know... I don't know anything.
- That money, the extra. - What...
No...
No, I don't know anything.
You know what my head's like.
- Things just fall out. - No.
You knew, and you didn't say anything, did ya?
You didn't stop it!
Stop what?
You said you earned it, through work.
What?
Am I supposed to question ya?
- You're my fucking mother! - Yeah, well, what?
Am I... Am I just supposed to let you all starve, is it?
Just 'cause I hear some people talk?
Fuck 'em.
They've been talking about me since forever.
I don't fucking care.
I don't care, yeah?
They don't know us.
They don't know us, we're family.
They don't understand.
You have to do what you have to do
- for your family. - No.
No, I do what I have to do.
If we were a family, then you'd be a proper mother,
and I wouldn't have had to go to...
Baby, please.
I'm not your fucking baby!
I don't know why you're fucking blaming me for this.
I'm sorry, all right? I'm...
I'm sorry that I'm sick.
Not everything is about you, Mom.
What about Marcus and Lucy?
Yeah?
What about me?
What about you?
You're, you're our lifeline, you are.
You know...
for once in my life,
I found something I really liked doing.
Something that wasn't the council.
Or the fucking electric meter.
Something that wasn't about you.
Mm. Well, what was it?
It's at school.
At school? That's great.
Our showcase was tonight.
Mr. Hale wanted...
He said I had potential.
Got me to do stand-up.
Stand-up?
What, like...
What, like comedy?
I'm sorry.
Oh, my god, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry, it's just...
I don't mean it like...
Sorry, you just took me by surprise, that's all.
Fucking hell! Comedy? You?
What have you got to tell jokes about?
Oh, fucking hell.
Hey, no, no, no. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at ya.
Well, actually, I suppose
that would be quite a good thing, wouldn't it?
Me laughing at ya?
Why are you like this?
Sarah, come on, lighten up.
I thought you were meant to be a comedian.
Hey, hey, hey, come on, come on.
Oi, where you off to, Peter Kay?
To tell some fucking jokes!
Peter, Peter Kay.
Fucking thing!
Sarah.
You all right, Margate?
Yeah.
Enjoy that bit of a singsong, did ya?
Yeah.
Margate, Margate, Margate.
Bloke the other day told me that Margate's gonna be
the new Brighton.
Shoreditch by the fucking sea.
DFLs they call 'em.
You know, "Down from London."
You can spot them,
because they've still got all their teeth.
Give it a few years, Margate, give it a few years,
and they'll be necking the cider outside the Magistrates' Court,
and yelling at the traffic just like the rest of us.
But it's changing, isn't it, Margate?
It's changing.
I mean, we've got the Turner Contemporary.
That's lovely, isn't it?
I mean it's hard to believe
that Tina Turner had time to do all of them paintings.
Oh, come on, Margate.
I thought of all the jokes in my routine,
that one was simply the best.
So welcome to our little showcase.
Mr. Hale put it all together by himself, didn't ya?
You know what, I think we should give Mr. Hale
a big round of applause.
Give it up for Mr. Hale, everyone!
Yeah! Yeah.
He has been on at us all year.
Trying to make us work hard,
so we don't look foolish on this Theatre Royal stage.
And he turns up in that jacket?
Thing about drama teachers is that they really...
Slag!
Quiet in the cheap seats.
Well, they're all cheap in here, aren't they, Margate?
You're cheap, you fucking slag!
Ow!
Bring... Bring the house lights up.
Who threw that?
I said who threw that?
Come on, Sarah.
That's for you to fuck off and not come back!
I'm not surprised you're throwing money away.
You could afford to lose a few pounds, you fat cunt.
Now look at his face.
Look at his face, Margate.
You always looked like that?
Or did the wind change
when your mom caught you banging your sister?
And thanks for the quid, that'll come in proper useful
for the leccy meter.
Yeah, that's right, that's right.
My family is poor.
We're so poor, the food bank
took one look at us and denied us credit.
Got to laugh, haven't you?
It's all right, you can.
I mean, I don't consider my life chaos.
It's just... it's just emotionally action-packed.
Yeah.
I mean, take my mom, for example.
Please take her. Genuinely. Please take her.
She is mad, she is.
You would not believe some of the stuff
that she comes out with.
She is crackers. She is out of control!
No, as in she's actually mentally ill.
Mm. Laughing one minute, crying the next.
Can't eat without getting food all over her face.
It's like... it's like she's my third child.
Which, at 15 years old,
I guess is actually pretty normal for Margate, isn't it?
Anyway.
So I've had to step up.
You know, earn the extra cash.
I had a job down at the arcades.
On the seafront.
And, you know, I... I earned a little extra on the side.
I mean, we've all done it, haven't we?
Don't lie, we've all done it.
Can't afford to feed your family,
so you've gotta give hand jobs to old men down the back alley.
No? Just me then.
But you know what? It worked, so...
Well, until my boss caught me the other day,
you know, red-handed and all that.
He hauled me into his office.
He said I was in very, very big trouble.
And I thought he was gonna fire me.
Seriously. I was so scared.
But he decided to rape me instead.
They say rape can never be funny, but I...
Now, I guess I can't stay in Margate any longer, can I?
I'll let myself out.
You gonna answer that?