0 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Kunjungi www.Starbet99.com Agen Judi Online Aman dan Terpercaya 1 00:00:56,208 --> 00:01:01,208 Whatsapp : +6687-557-7610 ID LINE : STARBET99 2 00:01:27,236 --> 00:01:28,469 In case you were wondering 3 00:01:28,471 --> 00:01:30,340 how I wound up in this farcical situation, 4 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:33,407 let me catch you up. 5 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:43,484 My name is Barbra Dolly Brennan. 6 00:01:43,486 --> 00:01:47,288 My parents named me after Barbra Streisand and Dolly Parton, 7 00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:48,389 their favorite singers. 8 00:01:48,391 --> 00:01:53,092 I'm a cosplayer, model, blogger, and fitness goddess. 9 00:01:53,094 --> 00:01:54,428 What is that, you ask? 10 00:01:54,430 --> 00:01:56,362 What are you, a hermit? 11 00:01:56,364 --> 00:01:59,466 It means I spend my days doing selfies, posing, 12 00:01:59,468 --> 00:02:04,103 and doing endless videos of my ass doing squats. 13 00:02:04,105 --> 00:02:05,172 Endless squats. 14 00:02:05,174 --> 00:02:06,407 Hundreds of squats. 15 00:02:06,409 --> 00:02:08,274 Thousands of squats. 16 00:02:08,276 --> 00:02:10,945 You can find me at Breaking underscore Barbi. 17 00:02:10,947 --> 00:02:15,582 Sounds easy but it's actually really hard. 18 00:02:15,584 --> 00:02:17,284 It means that anything I do 19 00:02:17,286 --> 00:02:20,321 suddenly turns into a photo shoot, a video opp, 20 00:02:20,323 --> 00:02:22,388 or an opportunity for a collab. 21 00:02:22,390 --> 00:02:26,493 This type of work comes with a major downside, 22 00:02:26,495 --> 00:02:27,560 meeting a nice guy. 23 00:02:27,562 --> 00:02:29,996 You have to be choosy, you know. 24 00:02:29,998 --> 00:02:32,733 I mean, like, what if I'm seen with a guy 25 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:36,436 that doesn't even have at least 10,000 followers? 26 00:02:36,438 --> 00:02:38,505 That would be unthinkable. 27 00:02:38,507 --> 00:02:40,239 I have my reputation. 28 00:02:40,241 --> 00:02:42,643 And then I met Jake. 29 00:02:42,645 --> 00:02:45,314 250,000 followers. 30 00:02:46,414 --> 00:02:47,481 Plenty of water. 31 00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:51,484 Got the first aid kit in case of any emergency. 32 00:02:51,486 --> 00:02:52,252 - Got bandages. - OMG, he is 33 00:02:52,254 --> 00:02:54,554 - so fire. - Ointment, wet wipes. 34 00:02:54,556 --> 00:02:56,090 - Food rations. - I wonder how many hash tags 35 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:57,560 I can fit into this post. 36 00:02:59,328 --> 00:03:00,727 Sunscreen. 37 00:03:00,729 --> 00:03:02,228 Lip ointment. 38 00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,763 Antibacterial gel. 39 00:03:03,765 --> 00:03:05,465 Flashlight. 40 00:03:05,467 --> 00:03:07,267 He asked me to go hiking with him 41 00:03:07,269 --> 00:03:08,401 on our first date. 42 00:03:13,308 --> 00:03:14,210 I just can't even. 43 00:03:42,604 --> 00:03:44,304 Antibacterial gel. 44 00:03:44,306 --> 00:03:45,439 Flashlight. 45 00:03:45,441 --> 00:03:46,276 Compass. 46 00:03:51,212 --> 00:03:52,181 Extra battery. 47 00:03:53,348 --> 00:03:54,614 Security blanket. 48 00:03:54,616 --> 00:03:56,517 - He's so into this! - Rope and tackle. 49 00:03:56,519 --> 00:03:57,351 Look at all those 50 00:03:57,353 --> 00:03:59,085 cute things he brought. 51 00:03:59,087 --> 00:04:02,089 And most importantly, a radio and GPS tracker 52 00:04:02,091 --> 00:04:03,357 so we can't get lost 53 00:04:03,359 --> 00:04:05,225 and we can call for help in case of an emergency. 54 00:04:05,227 --> 00:04:06,560 - I - totes need a selfie. 55 00:04:06,562 --> 00:04:08,061 Oh, like right now. 56 00:04:08,063 --> 00:04:08,697 Selfie. 57 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:12,433 - My turn. - Jessica will be 58 00:04:12,435 --> 00:04:14,003 totally jelly when she sees me with this guy. 59 00:04:16,204 --> 00:04:17,538 All right, I think that's everything. 60 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:18,772 You ready? 61 00:04:18,774 --> 00:04:20,507 You better believe it. 62 00:04:20,509 --> 00:04:21,442 Yep. 63 00:04:21,444 --> 00:04:22,310 You wanna do a last check? 64 00:04:22,312 --> 00:04:23,776 We're gonna be up there for a while. 65 00:04:23,778 --> 00:04:24,577 - I - have everything I need 66 00:04:24,579 --> 00:04:26,546 right here, baby. 67 00:04:26,548 --> 00:04:28,248 Don't need this. 68 00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:31,053 Lip gloss, headset, mud mask. 69 00:04:32,153 --> 00:04:34,490 And a little something for the hot tub. 70 00:04:40,129 --> 00:04:40,860 I'm good. 71 00:04:40,862 --> 00:04:43,266 All right, let's do this. 72 00:04:50,172 --> 00:04:52,609 Did I tell her how cute she looks? 73 00:04:54,209 --> 00:04:57,510 Hey, can I, can I put my keys on you? 74 00:04:57,512 --> 00:04:58,647 Yeah, sure. 75 00:05:28,144 --> 00:05:29,709 I'm glad you swiped right. 76 00:05:29,711 --> 00:05:33,413 It's really hard to find girls that like to free-climb. 77 00:05:33,415 --> 00:05:35,682 What the hell is he talking about? 78 00:05:35,684 --> 00:05:38,584 Oh, my profile. 79 00:05:38,586 --> 00:05:41,587 I thought free-climbing was some sort of sex thing. 80 00:05:41,589 --> 00:05:43,623 Well, when the app asked for what level, 81 00:05:43,625 --> 00:05:45,858 I obviously wrote expert. 82 00:05:45,860 --> 00:05:46,695 Gosh. 83 00:05:53,168 --> 00:05:53,802 Oh. 84 00:05:55,336 --> 00:05:57,603 This is pretty hardcore, even for me. 85 00:05:57,605 --> 00:05:59,473 Wait, is he serious? 86 00:05:59,475 --> 00:06:01,175 I thought we were gonna take some cute selfies 87 00:06:01,177 --> 00:06:02,479 and go back to his place. 88 00:06:03,745 --> 00:06:04,978 We could've started with something simpler, 89 00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:07,716 but I mean, I'm sure at your level this is a piece of cake. 90 00:06:08,783 --> 00:06:10,216 Way to go, Barbs. 91 00:06:10,218 --> 00:06:11,687 You're gonna get yourself killed. 92 00:06:15,290 --> 00:06:16,593 Was that a pterodactyl? 93 00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:19,692 OMG, I'm so gonna die. 94 00:06:19,694 --> 00:06:21,894 I mean, anything can happen out there. 95 00:06:21,896 --> 00:06:23,663 I can be eaten by a bear, fall of a cliff, 96 00:06:23,665 --> 00:06:26,802 butt-raped by aliens, dragged away by wolves, anything! 97 00:06:27,702 --> 00:06:28,969 Let's go. 98 00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,773 And I just got these shoes. 99 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,310 Ugh, just look at that butt. 100 00:06:35,511 --> 00:06:37,747 He definitely doesn't skip leg day. 101 00:06:41,416 --> 00:06:42,618 Totally worth it. 102 00:06:43,586 --> 00:06:44,420 No sweat. 103 00:06:45,387 --> 00:06:47,654 - I - hope he eats pineapple. 104 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,416 Aw, that's so sweet. 105 00:07:16,418 --> 00:07:18,388 She's going slow and waiting for me. 106 00:07:20,255 --> 00:07:21,857 Aw, he's so sweet. 107 00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:31,365 OMG, it is pineapple! 108 00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:32,201 Mm! 109 00:07:43,879 --> 00:07:44,711 - I - can't wait to invite her 110 00:07:44,713 --> 00:07:46,216 to my mansion in Hawaii. 111 00:07:47,382 --> 00:07:48,649 This isn't so bad, 112 00:07:48,651 --> 00:07:51,817 but I could totally go for a latte right now. 113 00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:53,786 You know, I'm gonna slow down 114 00:07:53,788 --> 00:07:55,355 and let her get ahead of me, 115 00:07:55,357 --> 00:07:56,960 so if she falls I can catch her. 116 00:08:01,562 --> 00:08:03,899 Everything about her is perfect. 117 00:08:05,533 --> 00:08:06,666 I hope there's a Starbucks up there 118 00:08:06,668 --> 00:08:07,502 or something. 119 00:08:12,473 --> 00:08:13,707 - I - can see myself spending 120 00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:16,411 the rest of my life with this girl. 121 00:08:26,555 --> 00:08:29,792 Phew, almost at the top. 122 00:08:33,828 --> 00:08:35,798 Sure hope we're not going down that way. 123 00:08:37,732 --> 00:08:38,567 Whew! 124 00:08:54,615 --> 00:08:55,451 Jake? 125 00:08:56,784 --> 00:08:58,852 There's no signal up here. 126 00:08:58,854 --> 00:08:59,855 Jake? 127 00:09:02,658 --> 00:09:03,493 Jake? 128 00:09:04,927 --> 00:09:05,561 Jake? 129 00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:09,765 What are you doing down there? 130 00:09:24,846 --> 00:09:27,649 Ugh, there's no signal up here! 131 00:09:28,951 --> 00:09:29,786 Ugh. 132 00:09:32,086 --> 00:09:34,387 Maybe there's some signal, 133 00:09:34,389 --> 00:09:36,859 mm, over here. 134 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:50,903 Whoa! 135 00:09:54,809 --> 00:09:55,644 Jake? 136 00:09:59,148 --> 00:10:00,082 Are you okay? 137 00:10:17,131 --> 00:10:18,565 O! 138 00:10:18,567 --> 00:10:19,900 O! 139 00:10:19,902 --> 00:10:21,600 M! 140 00:10:21,602 --> 00:10:23,002 M! 141 00:10:23,004 --> 00:10:24,537 G! 142 00:10:24,539 --> 00:10:25,704 G! 143 00:10:33,682 --> 00:10:36,715 Did I just kill the hottest guy ever? 144 00:10:36,717 --> 00:10:37,950 I didn't know about the rock. 145 00:10:37,952 --> 00:10:39,486 I mean, I didn't put the rock there. 146 00:10:39,488 --> 00:10:40,454 The rock, who put the rock there? 147 00:10:40,456 --> 00:10:41,954 Like, Mother Nature and stuff. 148 00:10:41,956 --> 00:10:42,789 It's not my fault. 149 00:10:42,791 --> 00:10:43,623 I didn't do it. 150 00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:44,458 It's not me. 151 00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:45,157 I would never do that. 152 00:11:03,044 --> 00:11:04,844 Now I'm totally lost. 153 00:11:04,846 --> 00:11:08,047 No signal, no date, no food, no water. 154 00:11:08,049 --> 00:11:11,453 Didn't see this bag of dicks coming straight at my face. 155 00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,854 This is insane! 156 00:11:14,856 --> 00:11:16,055 I can't believe I'm out here. 157 00:11:16,057 --> 00:11:20,797 And the worst part is I can't upload these amazing selfies. 158 00:11:22,197 --> 00:11:25,866 Why don't they put cell towers out here or something? 159 00:11:25,868 --> 00:11:28,901 Ugh, ugh, like, no signal anywhere. 160 00:11:32,139 --> 00:11:34,206 I mean, if you're gonna be banished up here, 161 00:11:34,208 --> 00:11:37,009 you're gonna wind up dead anyway soon, right? 162 00:11:37,011 --> 00:11:37,946 Figures. 163 00:11:42,283 --> 00:11:45,020 I bet all my friends are worried sick about me. 164 00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:48,954 It's not bad. 165 00:11:48,956 --> 00:11:50,956 It could be worse, right? 166 00:11:50,958 --> 00:11:53,161 I mean, like, I'm getting back to nature. 167 00:11:54,897 --> 00:11:57,066 I'm becoming like zen and stuff. 168 00:11:58,299 --> 00:12:02,038 Ugh, my feet are killing me. 169 00:12:03,905 --> 00:12:06,006 Wow, this is a great location for squat videos. 170 00:12:06,008 --> 00:12:07,541 I mean, look at this place. 171 00:12:07,543 --> 00:12:09,979 I can totally make so much content here. 172 00:12:23,091 --> 00:12:24,123 Oh, oh no. 173 00:12:24,125 --> 00:12:25,093 Oh no, oh no, oh no. 174 00:12:25,994 --> 00:12:27,127 Oh god. 175 00:12:27,129 --> 00:12:28,994 I hope there's like some, 176 00:12:28,996 --> 00:12:30,729 some signal up here. 177 00:12:30,731 --> 00:12:31,964 There's no way, oh, no way. 178 00:12:31,966 --> 00:12:35,035 This is, this is not happening to me. 179 00:12:35,037 --> 00:12:37,737 No, this is not happening to me right now. 180 00:12:37,739 --> 00:12:40,272 Come on, signal, come on, come on! 181 00:12:40,274 --> 00:12:42,842 God, oh god, this can't be! 182 00:12:42,844 --> 00:12:45,248 Oh, oh, I'm not, no! 183 00:12:46,815 --> 00:12:48,047 Oh! 184 00:12:48,049 --> 00:12:50,016 Body, you can't do this to me right now! 185 00:12:50,018 --> 00:12:52,919 Oh goodness, oh, oh, oh! 186 00:12:52,921 --> 00:12:54,353 How did the savages do it? 187 00:12:54,355 --> 00:12:55,821 Oh! 188 00:12:55,823 --> 00:12:57,123 I'm not gonna be like a barbarian, 189 00:12:57,125 --> 00:12:59,892 but I don't think I have any choice. 190 00:12:59,894 --> 00:13:01,261 Oh, what am I gonna do? 191 00:13:01,263 --> 00:13:03,228 Toilet paper, mm! 192 00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:04,066 Leaves. 193 00:13:06,902 --> 00:13:09,902 Okay, okay, maybe I could use some of these. 194 00:13:09,904 --> 00:13:11,003 Right here, okay. 195 00:13:11,005 --> 00:13:12,805 Now, now I need to find a spot. 196 00:13:12,807 --> 00:13:14,040 Oh! 197 00:13:14,042 --> 00:13:15,208 I can't wait any longer! 198 00:13:15,210 --> 00:13:17,176 Oh, I need a spot, oh! 199 00:13:17,178 --> 00:13:18,011 What about right here? 200 00:13:18,013 --> 00:13:18,877 Yes, this looks fine. 201 00:13:18,879 --> 00:13:19,912 Okay, all right. 202 00:13:19,914 --> 00:13:20,946 Pants down. 203 00:13:20,948 --> 00:13:21,783 Okay. 204 00:13:35,163 --> 00:13:36,831 Oh, that's so good. 205 00:13:38,232 --> 00:13:39,366 Woo! 206 00:13:39,368 --> 00:13:41,001 Yes. 207 00:13:41,003 --> 00:13:41,935 Woo! 208 00:13:41,937 --> 00:13:44,103 My pants feel looser now! 209 00:13:44,105 --> 00:13:46,207 Oh, I feel so cleansed. 210 00:13:49,076 --> 00:13:51,276 I guess it's not such a bad day after all. 211 00:13:51,278 --> 00:13:52,845 Feel so fresh. 212 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,728 I once saw some TV show about this guy in the woods and junk 213 00:14:08,730 --> 00:14:11,267 and he would just find stuff that would help him survive. 214 00:14:13,268 --> 00:14:15,134 I wish I paid attention to it, 215 00:14:15,136 --> 00:14:17,036 but he was like so hot 216 00:14:17,038 --> 00:14:19,140 and I really didn't understand a word he said. 217 00:14:20,241 --> 00:14:22,844 Hm, I wonder if I could find him out here. 218 00:14:23,945 --> 00:14:25,210 Maybe I could get a ride. 219 00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:28,281 He's always got like a helicopter or something. 220 00:14:28,283 --> 00:14:30,883 Ew, is that a spider? 221 00:14:30,885 --> 00:14:32,118 I hate spiders! 222 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:35,121 Ugh, this place so needs a cleaning! 223 00:14:35,123 --> 00:14:38,190 Where are the park maids? 224 00:14:38,192 --> 00:14:39,227 Ew! 225 00:14:40,128 --> 00:14:41,227 I hate this place! 226 00:14:41,229 --> 00:14:42,365 I hate nature! 227 00:14:45,332 --> 00:14:47,132 I wonder if this place has bears in it. 228 00:14:47,134 --> 00:14:49,469 I mean, it looks like a bear place, 229 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:52,372 and if I was a bear, I'd totally hang out here. 230 00:14:52,374 --> 00:14:56,108 Hey, is this where the WeHo Bear Club hangs out? 231 00:14:56,110 --> 00:14:57,377 What the! 232 00:14:57,379 --> 00:14:59,746 You're gonna burn in hell for what you did! 233 00:15:01,416 --> 00:15:03,983 Three years cardio kickboxing! 234 00:15:03,985 --> 00:15:06,219 Whoa, cool your jets, turbo. 235 00:15:06,221 --> 00:15:09,455 I, uh, was looking for someone else. 236 00:15:09,457 --> 00:15:10,959 Gonna need this for later. 237 00:15:15,363 --> 00:15:18,263 You gonna kill some peanut butter sandwiches with that? 238 00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:19,199 I lost my weapon. 239 00:15:19,201 --> 00:15:20,670 I woke up and it was gone, okay? 240 00:15:21,970 --> 00:15:23,172 I'm looking for someone. 241 00:15:24,272 --> 00:15:25,905 Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, 242 00:15:25,907 --> 00:15:27,206 whoa whoa whoa, I totally found him like that. 243 00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:28,342 He was at the bottom of the hill 244 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,243 and the blood and the rock was already on top of him 245 00:15:30,245 --> 00:15:31,243 and I was totally gonna go down there and help him out, 246 00:15:31,245 --> 00:15:32,911 but you know, I'm wearing high-heel sneakers 247 00:15:32,913 --> 00:15:34,817 - and I can't go down there... - Found who? 248 00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:38,387 Nobody. 249 00:15:39,888 --> 00:15:42,254 Are you the police? 250 00:15:42,256 --> 00:15:44,223 Police. 251 00:15:44,225 --> 00:15:45,324 No. 252 00:15:45,326 --> 00:15:48,294 I'm Homeland Security. 253 00:15:50,197 --> 00:15:51,033 Oh. 254 00:15:52,366 --> 00:15:53,201 Whew. 255 00:16:00,274 --> 00:16:02,108 What happened to your head? 256 00:16:02,110 --> 00:16:02,945 It's nothing. 257 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:06,882 I'm looking for someone. 258 00:16:10,818 --> 00:16:12,053 Have you seen this woman? 259 00:16:13,855 --> 00:16:17,556 That is the worst selfie I have ever seen. 260 00:16:17,558 --> 00:16:19,258 You need to learn better angles. 261 00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:22,328 You can make yourself look about 10 pounds lighter. 262 00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:23,429 And you need a 263 00:16:32,106 --> 00:16:34,807 filter too because I could totally see pores. 264 00:16:34,809 --> 00:16:36,111 So you haven't seen her? 265 00:16:42,350 --> 00:16:43,384 OMG! 266 00:16:46,221 --> 00:16:48,054 You get cellphone service out here? 267 00:16:48,056 --> 00:16:49,525 Who is your carrier? 268 00:16:54,129 --> 00:16:55,261 Nassau. 269 00:16:55,263 --> 00:16:56,930 Are they good? 270 00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:57,533 Stellar. 271 00:16:58,432 --> 00:17:00,199 Interstellar. 272 00:17:00,201 --> 00:17:03,268 Because I can't get a single bar out here. 273 00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:05,337 Are their roaming rates okay? 274 00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:07,942 Astronomical, but we're subsidized. 275 00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:10,378 Wow. 276 00:17:12,513 --> 00:17:13,348 Excuse me. 277 00:17:19,554 --> 00:17:21,187 - Hm? - Sir. 278 00:17:21,189 --> 00:17:22,855 My sit rep is as follows. 279 00:17:23,892 --> 00:17:25,924 Agent Vicky is still MIA. 280 00:17:26,894 --> 00:17:28,327 The package is recovered. 281 00:17:28,329 --> 00:17:29,295 Mm-hm. 282 00:17:29,297 --> 00:17:30,930 I'm wounded but able. 283 00:17:30,932 --> 00:17:32,899 The situation... 284 00:17:32,901 --> 00:17:34,267 Is FUBAR. 285 00:17:36,337 --> 00:17:38,304 No, no no no no no no. 286 00:17:38,306 --> 00:17:40,405 No, Bogley shot down the transport. 287 00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:43,209 Requesting recovery team. 288 00:17:43,211 --> 00:17:45,111 They are everywhere! 289 00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:48,581 Send in Agent Radcliff. 290 00:17:51,353 --> 00:17:52,520 Roger that, sir. 291 00:17:56,223 --> 00:17:58,658 So I'm not in trouble? 292 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,196 Are you an illegal alien? 293 00:18:01,162 --> 00:18:03,462 Six eyes, tentacles? 294 00:18:03,464 --> 00:18:04,432 I'm from Texas. 295 00:18:05,467 --> 00:18:06,302 Close enough. 296 00:18:10,271 --> 00:18:12,374 I can't believe you get signal out here. 297 00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:17,546 I've been looking for signal for like an hour. 298 00:18:21,950 --> 00:18:23,482 God, I wish I had some water or something. 299 00:18:23,484 --> 00:18:25,485 You sound like you're totally choking. 300 00:18:28,088 --> 00:18:31,490 Oh, do you think if I get higher up the mountain, 301 00:18:31,492 --> 00:18:33,294 like I could get a signal there? 302 00:18:41,201 --> 00:18:42,434 You know what? 303 00:18:42,436 --> 00:18:43,538 Can I borrow your cellphone to... 304 00:18:47,107 --> 00:18:48,309 Hello? 305 00:18:49,510 --> 00:18:50,613 So you haven't seen her? 306 00:18:51,512 --> 00:18:53,246 No! 307 00:18:53,248 --> 00:18:54,415 Creepy much? 308 00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:57,417 Just like I need a, 309 00:18:57,419 --> 00:18:59,384 I need a new phone or something. 310 00:18:59,386 --> 00:19:00,422 This one's terrible. 311 00:19:15,436 --> 00:19:18,036 Hey, do you know how to 312 00:19:18,038 --> 00:19:19,439 get 313 00:19:19,441 --> 00:19:20,442 out of here? 314 00:19:42,163 --> 00:19:44,564 I have like 3.4 million followers. 315 00:19:44,566 --> 00:19:47,400 I have millions of likes, collaborations, sponsorships. 316 00:19:47,402 --> 00:19:49,469 I spend all my time showing people 317 00:19:49,471 --> 00:19:51,406 what a perfect and sexy life I have. 318 00:19:54,209 --> 00:19:57,442 And I have no real friends. 319 00:19:57,444 --> 00:19:59,647 I don't have any real friends. 320 00:20:01,348 --> 00:20:03,415 I don't spend time with anyone. 321 00:20:03,417 --> 00:20:06,054 All my friends are social media friends. 322 00:20:07,689 --> 00:20:10,055 There is literally no one out there 323 00:20:10,057 --> 00:20:11,460 that gives a damn about me. 324 00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:14,727 If I don't upload for a few days, 325 00:20:14,729 --> 00:20:16,528 everyone will forget I even exist, 326 00:20:16,530 --> 00:20:19,599 and there is a new face already poised to take my place. 327 00:20:19,601 --> 00:20:20,432 Uh-huh. 328 00:20:20,434 --> 00:20:21,601 I hate Jessica! 329 00:20:21,603 --> 00:20:23,471 Her makeup is always so on point! 330 00:20:24,705 --> 00:20:27,440 Well, sure she looks like ass in real life 331 00:20:27,442 --> 00:20:29,307 without all her filters. 332 00:20:29,309 --> 00:20:30,776 Totally met her at a meetup, 333 00:20:30,778 --> 00:20:33,513 and I laughed so hard when I saw her. 334 00:20:33,515 --> 00:20:34,616 What a dumb hoe. 335 00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:37,616 She shouldn't show her face in public 336 00:20:37,618 --> 00:20:40,353 when she uses all those tricks to make her skin all flawless 337 00:20:40,355 --> 00:20:43,623 and all those camera angles to make herself look all skinny. 338 00:20:43,625 --> 00:20:46,124 She is a walking lie, 339 00:20:46,126 --> 00:20:49,194 and I can't even post that pic of me and Jake. 340 00:20:49,196 --> 00:20:50,496 R.I.P. 341 00:20:50,498 --> 00:20:51,567 He was so lit. 342 00:20:53,367 --> 00:20:56,235 I am so hungry. 343 00:20:56,237 --> 00:20:58,336 If I don't eat something like soon, 344 00:20:58,338 --> 00:21:00,672 I'll start losing all my booty gains. 345 00:21:00,674 --> 00:21:01,710 Bag of dicks. 346 00:21:04,511 --> 00:21:06,578 Oh, mushrooms. 347 00:21:06,580 --> 00:21:10,248 Non-GMO, gluten-free, and totally organic, right? 348 00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:12,117 I mean, you can't get much fresher 349 00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:14,055 than straight out of the forest, right? 350 00:21:15,289 --> 00:21:17,155 Smells like shiitake. 351 00:21:17,157 --> 00:21:19,292 I, I wish I could look it up. 352 00:21:19,294 --> 00:21:20,162 Dammit! 353 00:21:22,564 --> 00:21:24,497 Well, what if I just try one? 354 00:21:24,499 --> 00:21:27,266 I can always make myself throw up, right? 355 00:21:27,268 --> 00:21:28,767 I'm like great at vomit. 356 00:21:28,769 --> 00:21:30,436 I practiced in high school. 357 00:21:30,438 --> 00:21:32,738 No way Suzie Baker was gonna be thinner than me. 358 00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:34,242 That bitch. 359 00:21:40,414 --> 00:21:43,115 Hm, tastes pretty good. 360 00:21:43,117 --> 00:21:45,884 I'm like so paleo right now. 361 00:21:45,886 --> 00:21:48,557 Just like that raw vegan place I tried last month. 362 00:21:50,357 --> 00:21:53,628 Ugh, I'm like a total savage barbarian right now. 363 00:23:58,786 --> 00:23:59,788 Oh! 364 00:24:02,423 --> 00:24:03,258 A unicorn. 365 00:24:06,861 --> 00:24:08,864 Take me to that rainbow. 366 00:24:55,410 --> 00:24:56,245 Whoa! 367 00:24:56,978 --> 00:24:58,346 Pretty colors! 368 00:25:01,648 --> 00:25:03,315 Get out of the way! 369 00:25:04,484 --> 00:25:05,817 You're gonna get yourself killed! 370 00:25:10,991 --> 00:25:14,326 Do you know how to get to grandma's house? 371 00:25:14,328 --> 00:25:16,895 I don't know where your grandma is. 372 00:25:20,535 --> 00:25:21,566 What's wrong with you? 373 00:25:21,568 --> 00:25:22,903 Did you eat something out here? 374 00:25:25,839 --> 00:25:26,771 Are you hungry? 375 00:25:26,773 --> 00:25:28,542 I have muffins and cookies. 376 00:25:31,712 --> 00:25:32,780 Uh, 377 00:25:33,881 --> 00:25:35,450 I only 378 00:25:37,785 --> 00:25:39,785 eat gluten-free cookies. 379 00:25:39,787 --> 00:25:41,757 Give those to your grandma. 380 00:25:52,866 --> 00:25:53,902 Um... 381 00:25:58,905 --> 00:26:02,040 Hey Mister Wolf, did you see what I just saw? 382 00:26:02,042 --> 00:26:03,843 Was that Little Red Riding Hood? 383 00:26:03,845 --> 00:26:05,811 It sure was, Barbi. 384 00:26:05,813 --> 00:26:08,413 I think that was Little Red Riding Hood. 385 00:26:08,415 --> 00:26:09,849 What do you think? 386 00:26:09,851 --> 00:26:12,817 You're far more delicious though. 387 00:26:47,555 --> 00:26:49,858 Have you seen Agent Mahoney? 388 00:26:51,592 --> 00:26:53,659 Tall, bald, glasses. 389 00:26:53,661 --> 00:26:55,997 The better to see me with! 390 00:27:21,154 --> 00:27:23,759 They must have no vision in the pink spectrum! 391 00:28:23,017 --> 00:28:24,085 They can't see pink. 392 00:28:37,097 --> 00:28:39,097 Sir, I have discovered a fault in their technology. 393 00:28:52,813 --> 00:28:54,880 It can change the course of our whole battle. 394 00:28:55,982 --> 00:28:57,783 Alert Agent Radcliff that the aliens cannot see pink. 395 00:29:03,156 --> 00:29:04,492 Oh, pretty! 396 00:29:22,809 --> 00:29:24,977 Okay, I'm starting to suspect 397 00:29:24,979 --> 00:29:26,812 that those were not gluten-free mushrooms, 398 00:29:26,814 --> 00:29:28,846 because I haven't tripped balls like this 399 00:29:28,848 --> 00:29:31,115 since that weekend freshman year in the Hamptons 400 00:29:31,117 --> 00:29:33,754 when Jessica stole my first serious boyfriend. 401 00:29:35,288 --> 00:29:37,655 What was his name again? 402 00:29:37,657 --> 00:29:41,326 I mean, we were like totally destined to be together. 403 00:29:41,328 --> 00:29:43,728 He was so rough and tough, 404 00:29:43,730 --> 00:29:46,100 just like a hot barbarian. 405 00:29:47,167 --> 00:29:49,969 I would've given him so many followers, 406 00:29:49,971 --> 00:29:53,107 but he chose Jessica and all he got was herpes. 407 00:29:54,808 --> 00:29:57,042 OMG, is that him, 408 00:29:57,044 --> 00:29:58,146 what's-his-nuts? 409 00:29:59,380 --> 00:30:02,046 He looks so much better in a loincloth. 410 00:30:05,185 --> 00:30:07,054 Antibiotics do wonders. 411 00:30:11,157 --> 00:30:12,857 Check out this cute outfit. 412 00:30:12,859 --> 00:30:15,628 I have a sword, armored boobs! 413 00:30:15,630 --> 00:30:17,062 Looking good, Barbi. 414 00:30:19,900 --> 00:30:20,735 Hm. 415 00:30:22,336 --> 00:30:24,103 This looks sharp. 416 00:30:24,105 --> 00:30:26,575 This hallucination is like so lit. 417 00:30:28,843 --> 00:30:30,209 That's right. 418 00:30:30,211 --> 00:30:31,376 Sploosh. 419 00:30:31,378 --> 00:30:34,046 You're gonna need a lot more water to put out this fire. 420 00:30:34,048 --> 00:30:35,146 Mm-hm. 421 00:30:35,148 --> 00:30:38,083 Man, my abs look amazing. 422 00:30:38,085 --> 00:30:39,317 Why did we break up again? 423 00:30:39,319 --> 00:30:41,056 I totally can't remember. 424 00:30:43,156 --> 00:30:45,024 I bet she wants me. 425 00:30:45,026 --> 00:30:46,290 If this gets any hotter, 426 00:30:46,292 --> 00:30:48,192 I'm gonna need a boat. 427 00:30:50,431 --> 00:30:52,197 Check it, uh-huh. 428 00:30:52,199 --> 00:30:54,298 Call that a sword? 429 00:30:54,300 --> 00:30:56,971 I'll call it anything you want. 430 00:30:59,874 --> 00:31:01,675 Wait, what just happened? 431 00:31:03,344 --> 00:31:04,776 BARBARIAN VOICEOVER: Mm, baby! 432 00:31:04,778 --> 00:31:05,811 Wait, what? 433 00:31:07,948 --> 00:31:09,250 Hail to the king. 434 00:31:10,884 --> 00:31:13,121 Well this escalated quickly. 435 00:31:14,387 --> 00:31:15,789 Oh, he's serious. 436 00:31:18,025 --> 00:31:20,159 Maybe he means somebody back there. 437 00:31:20,161 --> 00:31:22,061 Nope, just me. 438 00:31:22,063 --> 00:31:24,462 Well, I didn't get all fantasy dressed up 439 00:31:24,464 --> 00:31:26,731 for nothing, I guess. 440 00:31:26,733 --> 00:31:28,232 And I have this sword, 441 00:31:28,234 --> 00:31:31,005 so my brain must've known something like this would happen. 442 00:31:32,772 --> 00:31:35,074 Gonna make her work for it. 443 00:31:36,042 --> 00:31:37,645 This chick's gonna ruin my pump! 444 00:31:39,046 --> 00:31:41,246 Your pump looks just fine to me. 445 00:31:41,248 --> 00:31:42,346 I could totally take him. 446 00:31:42,348 --> 00:31:44,216 I know what he likes. 447 00:31:45,452 --> 00:31:46,788 She slapped my ass. 448 00:31:48,756 --> 00:31:50,055 I kinda like it. 449 00:31:50,057 --> 00:31:52,157 Oh, we're still doing this. 450 00:31:54,494 --> 00:31:57,129 When did foreplay become so hard? 451 00:32:00,500 --> 00:32:01,432 - I - knew I shouldn't have taken 452 00:32:01,434 --> 00:32:03,235 my pre-workout pill early. 453 00:32:05,506 --> 00:32:06,438 I'm so glad 454 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,006 I've been doing yoga classes. 455 00:32:08,008 --> 00:32:10,241 They really keep me nice and loose. 456 00:32:10,243 --> 00:32:11,744 I can totally hold my own. 457 00:32:11,746 --> 00:32:12,978 I always could. 458 00:32:12,980 --> 00:32:16,148 Not to mention I look amazing with this hand. 459 00:32:16,150 --> 00:32:17,015 - I - wonder if she saw that lion 460 00:32:17,017 --> 00:32:18,449 that I killed last week. 461 00:32:18,451 --> 00:32:19,287 Oh, yeah. 462 00:32:22,088 --> 00:32:23,087 What I love about this fantasy is that 463 00:32:23,089 --> 00:32:26,892 Jessica would never look as good as I do in this. 464 00:32:26,894 --> 00:32:30,027 I mean, have you seen this hotness? 465 00:32:30,029 --> 00:32:31,863 Man, that's a nice loincloth. 466 00:32:31,865 --> 00:32:33,465 I wonder if she's wearing underwear. 467 00:32:33,467 --> 00:32:34,369 Wait, am I? 468 00:32:36,269 --> 00:32:37,536 This barbarian fantasy 469 00:32:37,538 --> 00:32:40,972 is so much better than the light show. 470 00:32:42,308 --> 00:32:43,344 Ha, gotcha! 471 00:32:44,478 --> 00:32:48,212 But that was my favorite sword. 472 00:32:48,214 --> 00:32:49,250 Aw. 473 00:32:50,217 --> 00:32:51,219 I'm sad. 474 00:32:54,221 --> 00:32:55,853 Oh come on! 475 00:32:55,855 --> 00:32:57,288 You're finished already? 476 00:32:57,290 --> 00:32:58,990 But I'm not done yet! 477 00:32:58,992 --> 00:33:00,258 - I - don't wanna fight you anyway. 478 00:33:00,260 --> 00:33:01,126 I can get your sword. 479 00:33:01,128 --> 00:33:02,295 - It's like right there. - Stupid girl. 480 00:33:02,297 --> 00:33:04,162 I'll give you a hand and everything. 481 00:33:04,164 --> 00:33:05,363 I'll go get it for you. 482 00:33:08,201 --> 00:33:09,203 Wait, come back! 483 00:33:10,238 --> 00:33:12,938 Ugh, it's like high school prom all over again 484 00:33:12,940 --> 00:33:15,340 except I'm not fat anymore. 485 00:33:15,342 --> 00:33:19,147 Ugh, things get rough and he goes crying to his mother. 486 00:33:21,147 --> 00:33:23,815 And now it's just me left behind with a rabbit 487 00:33:23,817 --> 00:33:25,052 and no batteries. 488 00:33:27,253 --> 00:33:29,254 Ugh, now I remember the problem. 489 00:33:29,256 --> 00:33:30,988 He's too into himself, 490 00:33:30,990 --> 00:33:32,891 all pump and no go. 491 00:33:32,893 --> 00:33:35,262 Jessica can totally keep him, blech. 492 00:33:36,497 --> 00:33:39,331 All those muscles spending hours at the gym, for what? 493 00:33:39,333 --> 00:33:40,465 And then he dumps me. 494 00:33:40,467 --> 00:33:41,900 Me! 495 00:33:41,902 --> 00:33:44,335 I mean, have you seen how hot I look now? 496 00:33:44,337 --> 00:33:46,904 Most people would hallucinate being a superhero 497 00:33:46,906 --> 00:33:48,140 or a ballerina. 498 00:33:48,142 --> 00:33:49,908 Me, oh no. 499 00:33:49,910 --> 00:33:53,178 What is my subconscious trying to tell me? 500 00:33:53,180 --> 00:33:54,345 Worst 501 00:33:54,347 --> 00:33:56,113 fantasy 502 00:33:56,115 --> 00:33:56,917 ever. 503 00:35:15,094 --> 00:35:15,929 Pretty. 504 00:37:14,614 --> 00:37:17,749 Why'd you pop my balloons? 505 00:37:18,284 --> 00:37:20,087 I'm gonna kill you, bitch! 506 00:37:21,121 --> 00:37:21,820 Oh my god! 507 00:37:21,822 --> 00:37:23,655 Oh my god, oh my god! 508 00:37:24,824 --> 00:37:26,724 This cannot be my life! 509 00:37:26,726 --> 00:37:27,726 A monster, really? 510 00:37:27,728 --> 00:37:28,793 Slow down, bitch! 511 00:37:30,496 --> 00:37:31,463 I'm tired! 512 00:37:31,465 --> 00:37:33,264 Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! 513 00:37:41,708 --> 00:37:43,374 It's all right. 514 00:37:43,376 --> 00:37:44,708 - You good? - Mm-hm. 515 00:37:44,710 --> 00:37:46,110 We're good. 516 00:37:46,112 --> 00:37:46,744 We're good. 517 00:37:46,746 --> 00:37:48,512 Okay. 518 00:37:48,514 --> 00:37:51,184 Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! 519 00:37:54,621 --> 00:37:57,488 Oh my god, he's swinging an ax at me! 520 00:38:03,697 --> 00:38:06,233 I'm gonna kill you, bitch! 521 00:38:07,501 --> 00:38:09,434 You're such a dead little bitch! 522 00:38:12,606 --> 00:38:14,106 You're such a dead little bitch! 523 00:38:21,648 --> 00:38:23,818 I'm gonna kill you, bitch! 524 00:38:28,588 --> 00:38:29,590 Oh my god! 525 00:38:30,556 --> 00:38:32,224 Oh my god! 526 00:38:32,226 --> 00:38:36,193 Where am I gonna get another balloon out here? 527 00:38:37,463 --> 00:38:38,295 No! 528 00:38:38,297 --> 00:38:39,566 Leave me alone! 529 00:38:43,769 --> 00:38:47,671 Where am I gonna get another balloon out here? 530 00:38:47,673 --> 00:38:50,610 Party supply stores for clowns! 531 00:40:08,688 --> 00:40:09,923 That was crazy. 532 00:40:12,291 --> 00:40:13,657 Say a command. 533 00:40:13,659 --> 00:40:15,327 Call home. 534 00:40:15,329 --> 00:40:17,628 - Hi, honey. - Honey, yeah. 535 00:40:17,630 --> 00:40:20,467 Hey so, I just pulled over to take a quick leak. 536 00:40:21,635 --> 00:40:22,467 Unbelievable. 537 00:40:22,469 --> 00:40:23,635 You wouldn't believe. 538 00:40:23,637 --> 00:40:25,737 There was a chick, a blonde chick, 539 00:40:25,739 --> 00:40:27,639 tripping balls out in the forest, 540 00:40:27,641 --> 00:40:29,840 like losing her freaking mind. 541 00:40:29,842 --> 00:40:32,543 - Drugs? - Yeah yeah, I know, right? 542 00:40:32,545 --> 00:40:33,345 Kids today. 543 00:40:33,347 --> 00:40:35,516 I mean, ugh, kids. 544 00:40:38,784 --> 00:40:40,651 Oh no, why is he chasing me! 545 00:41:18,525 --> 00:41:19,360 Shh! 546 00:41:44,518 --> 00:41:45,318 Ow. 547 00:42:17,451 --> 00:42:18,286 What? 548 00:42:28,961 --> 00:42:29,797 Oh my god! 549 00:42:58,391 --> 00:42:59,090 Yes! 550 00:43:01,594 --> 00:43:02,429 Oh, yes! 551 00:43:03,797 --> 00:43:04,729 Oh! 552 00:44:54,574 --> 00:44:56,110 No no no no no no no! 553 00:44:57,744 --> 00:44:58,579 No! 554 00:45:01,014 --> 00:45:02,016 No! 555 00:45:04,251 --> 00:45:05,619 No, don't die! 556 00:45:09,222 --> 00:45:10,854 Fresh and clean. 557 00:45:10,856 --> 00:45:14,025 Nothing like a morning shower in natural springwater. 558 00:45:14,027 --> 00:45:15,994 Is this what my parents were talking about 559 00:45:15,996 --> 00:45:18,829 when they lived in that hippie commune back in the '80s? 560 00:45:18,831 --> 00:45:21,766 I think they wore like jogging suits or something. 561 00:45:21,768 --> 00:45:24,001 Hm, something feels weird. 562 00:45:24,003 --> 00:45:26,838 Were there way too many minerals in the water? 563 00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:28,805 Maybe I need some lotion or something. 564 00:45:28,807 --> 00:45:30,208 My neck is feeling kinda itchy. 565 00:45:33,947 --> 00:45:35,280 Focus, Barbi. 566 00:45:35,282 --> 00:45:37,084 It's just all in your head. 567 00:45:38,284 --> 00:45:39,784 Maybe I didn't sleep off 568 00:45:39,786 --> 00:45:41,853 all the effects from those mushrooms. 569 00:45:41,855 --> 00:45:44,655 No, I'm definitely feeling something back there. 570 00:45:44,657 --> 00:45:45,956 Where's my mirror? 571 00:45:45,958 --> 00:45:46,993 Let's see. 572 00:45:49,128 --> 00:45:51,128 Are those my pores? 573 00:45:51,130 --> 00:45:51,929 Ugh! 574 00:45:51,931 --> 00:45:54,132 I totally need some new foundation. 575 00:45:54,134 --> 00:45:56,135 Maybe a waterproof one or something. 576 00:45:57,137 --> 00:45:59,874 Better, I mean, not bad for the savage wild. 577 00:46:00,673 --> 00:46:01,940 I wonder where I am. 578 00:46:01,942 --> 00:46:04,575 I've been walking nonstop for hours. 579 00:46:04,577 --> 00:46:05,976 I wish I was tracking my calories. 580 00:46:05,978 --> 00:46:09,048 My calorie burn must be off the charts. 581 00:46:11,150 --> 00:46:13,119 Ugh, what is this freaking itching! 582 00:46:15,021 --> 00:46:17,091 Did I touch some poison ivy or something? 583 00:46:18,090 --> 00:46:19,724 I have a photo shoot next week, 584 00:46:19,726 --> 00:46:21,159 and if I'm still alive, 585 00:46:21,161 --> 00:46:23,994 I can't have a rash I can't cover up with makeup. 586 00:46:23,996 --> 00:46:25,095 Wait, what the hell is this? 587 00:46:25,097 --> 00:46:27,867 Fuzzy, pointy, it's moving. 588 00:46:56,362 --> 00:46:57,196 Spider. 589 00:48:29,255 --> 00:48:31,025 Oh, you're awake. 590 00:48:32,858 --> 00:48:33,693 Yeah. 591 00:48:35,295 --> 00:48:37,295 What happened? 592 00:48:37,297 --> 00:48:38,229 You slipped and fell. 593 00:48:38,231 --> 00:48:39,767 Lucky I was there to catch you. 594 00:48:41,300 --> 00:48:42,467 Wow. 595 00:48:42,469 --> 00:48:44,235 I could've died. 596 00:48:44,237 --> 00:48:45,802 Yeah, I know. 597 00:48:45,804 --> 00:48:48,174 Pretty amazing, right? 598 00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:55,278 Kenny Radcliff, ma'am. 599 00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:56,313 Barbi Radcliff. 600 00:48:56,315 --> 00:48:57,150 I mean, Brennan. 601 00:49:00,018 --> 00:49:02,021 Oh, sorry, I went through your bag. 602 00:49:03,956 --> 00:49:05,222 You were out of water 603 00:49:05,224 --> 00:49:07,258 so I gave you a refill and some food rations. 604 00:49:07,260 --> 00:49:08,458 And a ring. 605 00:49:08,460 --> 00:49:09,894 You mean a ring. 606 00:49:09,896 --> 00:49:13,063 OMG, OMG, OMG, it's really happening! 607 00:49:13,065 --> 00:49:17,200 I'm gonna be the next Mrs. Barbi Kenny Radcliff! 608 00:49:17,202 --> 00:49:20,204 I'm not gonna die alone in my house with 10 cats 609 00:49:20,206 --> 00:49:24,242 who will eat my eyes after I'm dead like my mom said! 610 00:49:24,244 --> 00:49:27,979 It's so beautiful! 611 00:49:27,981 --> 00:49:30,180 I'm gonna get this appraised right away. 612 00:49:30,182 --> 00:49:32,182 What is this, like 100 carats? 613 00:49:32,184 --> 00:49:33,117 I'm so worth it. 614 00:49:37,289 --> 00:49:38,291 My precious! 615 00:49:39,826 --> 00:49:41,327 Take that, Jessica! 616 00:49:42,461 --> 00:49:44,864 Thank you very much. 617 00:49:47,333 --> 00:49:48,900 You should probably stick to the trails. 618 00:49:48,902 --> 00:49:49,534 Trails? 619 00:49:49,536 --> 00:49:50,834 What trails? 620 00:49:50,836 --> 00:49:53,271 I'm totally lost. 621 00:49:53,273 --> 00:49:54,838 In more ways than one. 622 00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:56,072 - Huh? - Oh, nothing. 623 00:49:56,074 --> 00:49:57,210 Are you out here alone? 624 00:50:00,146 --> 00:50:00,981 Sort of. 625 00:50:03,349 --> 00:50:05,048 Well if you hike that way for about a mile and a half, 626 00:50:29,976 --> 00:50:31,141 you'll come across the road. 627 00:50:31,143 --> 00:50:32,543 Sooner or later the ranger will come by and pick you up, 628 00:50:32,545 --> 00:50:33,347 get you home. 629 00:50:35,849 --> 00:50:37,084 Are you coming? 630 00:50:38,284 --> 00:50:39,253 No. 631 00:50:40,420 --> 00:50:41,952 I've got unfinished business. 632 00:50:44,056 --> 00:50:46,325 Oh, so you go that way? 633 00:50:52,231 --> 00:50:53,465 Hello? 634 00:50:53,467 --> 00:50:54,032 I really need to start paying attention 635 00:50:54,034 --> 00:50:56,066 when people talk to me. 636 00:50:56,068 --> 00:50:58,269 It's just so rare that I actually talk to someone 637 00:50:58,271 --> 00:50:59,936 face to face, you know? 638 00:50:59,938 --> 00:51:01,905 It's so much easier to text them. 639 00:51:01,907 --> 00:51:06,209 Hm, maybe my people skills are somehow lacking. 640 00:51:06,211 --> 00:51:07,912 Like, if I listened to Kenny's directions, 641 00:51:07,914 --> 00:51:09,817 maybe I'd already be home by now. 642 00:51:11,284 --> 00:51:14,117 Wait, is that someone there? 643 00:51:14,119 --> 00:51:16,253 Maybe they know where I am. 644 00:51:16,255 --> 00:51:17,521 She looks familiar. 645 00:51:17,523 --> 00:51:19,590 Where have I seen her before? 646 00:51:19,592 --> 00:51:21,525 Does she do hair tutorials? 647 00:51:26,965 --> 00:51:28,432 Help me! 648 00:51:28,434 --> 00:51:30,066 Maybe she knows where to get signals 649 00:51:30,068 --> 00:51:32,271 so I can find Kenny and swipe right. 650 00:51:33,672 --> 00:51:36,240 Excuse me, excuse me. 651 00:51:36,242 --> 00:51:38,208 Do you know how to get out of here? 652 00:51:42,414 --> 00:51:45,485 Oh my god, what is that smell? 653 00:51:48,121 --> 00:51:49,452 Oh, thank god! 654 00:51:49,454 --> 00:51:50,320 Help me! 655 00:51:50,322 --> 00:51:51,688 My arm is crushed! 656 00:51:51,690 --> 00:51:53,292 Hey, are you okay? 657 00:51:54,193 --> 00:51:56,026 Help me, I'm stuck! 658 00:52:04,436 --> 00:52:05,970 What happened? 659 00:52:07,373 --> 00:52:08,171 My arm's crushed, I can't move it! 660 00:52:08,173 --> 00:52:09,307 Oh that looks bad. 661 00:52:09,309 --> 00:52:12,510 Your dry-cleaner is never gonna get that out, honey. 662 00:52:12,512 --> 00:52:14,211 I know, right? 663 00:52:14,213 --> 00:52:15,315 Now can you help me? 664 00:52:18,650 --> 00:52:21,120 What is that stench? 665 00:52:23,422 --> 00:52:26,691 The effervescent scent of the great outdoors. 666 00:52:26,693 --> 00:52:29,427 Hey, were you gonna cut your arm off? 667 00:52:29,429 --> 00:52:31,228 Yeah, duh. 668 00:52:31,230 --> 00:52:32,432 I can't take it anymore! 669 00:52:33,599 --> 00:52:35,266 I know, right? 670 00:52:35,268 --> 00:52:37,336 I would totally kill myself if I had to smell this. 671 00:52:39,237 --> 00:52:40,239 What happened? 672 00:52:41,606 --> 00:52:43,007 I was in a plane crash. 673 00:52:43,009 --> 00:52:43,974 Didn't you see? 674 00:52:43,976 --> 00:52:45,008 What plane crash? 675 00:52:45,010 --> 00:52:46,476 Oh never mind. 676 00:52:46,478 --> 00:52:47,311 A little help here? 677 00:52:47,313 --> 00:52:49,012 Oh, sorry. 678 00:52:54,387 --> 00:52:55,389 What's that? 679 00:52:56,521 --> 00:52:58,088 Uh, nothing. 680 00:52:58,090 --> 00:52:59,023 Don't worry about it. 681 00:52:59,025 --> 00:53:00,157 Get me outta here! 682 00:53:00,159 --> 00:53:00,724 Uh, hold on. 683 00:53:00,726 --> 00:53:02,092 Wait, wait. 684 00:53:04,697 --> 00:53:06,396 Is that a dead body? 685 00:53:10,003 --> 00:53:11,505 You gotta be kidding me. 686 00:53:17,309 --> 00:53:18,508 Ew! 687 00:53:18,510 --> 00:53:20,411 It is a dead body! 688 00:53:20,413 --> 00:53:23,546 Oh, and it looks like someone beat the crap out of it. 689 00:53:23,548 --> 00:53:25,518 What happened to him? 690 00:53:27,085 --> 00:53:28,552 The same thing that'll happen to you 691 00:53:28,554 --> 00:53:31,655 if you don't get me out of here. 692 00:53:31,657 --> 00:53:34,361 You're totally freaking me out right now. 693 00:53:35,561 --> 00:53:37,965 Haven't you ever seen a dead body before? 694 00:53:40,532 --> 00:53:42,268 Recently? 695 00:53:43,402 --> 00:53:44,668 Uh-huh. 696 00:53:44,670 --> 00:53:45,639 Who is this? 697 00:53:46,672 --> 00:53:48,472 I'm gonna die here. 698 00:53:49,307 --> 00:53:50,143 The dead body. 699 00:53:52,445 --> 00:53:53,778 My boss. 700 00:53:53,780 --> 00:53:56,280 Might've had a slight disagreement 701 00:53:56,282 --> 00:53:58,684 over a small financial sum. 702 00:54:00,385 --> 00:54:04,121 Hey, you can't take that, those are state secrets! 703 00:54:11,197 --> 00:54:13,200 No, you can't stop me! 704 00:54:14,233 --> 00:54:15,499 Cut you. 705 00:54:15,501 --> 00:54:16,333 Give me it back. 706 00:54:16,335 --> 00:54:17,168 I'm gonna cut you! 707 00:54:17,170 --> 00:54:18,302 Give me it back! 708 00:54:24,844 --> 00:54:27,845 There was a rock slide, but that came after, 709 00:54:27,847 --> 00:54:29,316 and now I'm here! 710 00:54:31,516 --> 00:54:32,483 Oh. 711 00:54:32,485 --> 00:54:34,584 Okay. Well do you know how to get out of here? 712 00:54:34,586 --> 00:54:36,487 Can you please help me already? 713 00:54:36,489 --> 00:54:38,456 All right already, gosh! 714 00:54:38,458 --> 00:54:40,825 It's all about you, isn't it? 715 00:54:45,498 --> 00:54:47,530 Oh, there's no way I'm gonna move this. 716 00:54:47,532 --> 00:54:49,432 And honey, I'm not cutting your arm off. 717 00:54:49,434 --> 00:54:50,767 That would be way too messy, 718 00:54:50,769 --> 00:54:53,340 and have you seen this outfit that I'm wearing? 719 00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:56,507 Just get that stick over there 720 00:54:56,509 --> 00:54:59,679 and use it like a lever to move the rocks. 721 00:55:01,713 --> 00:55:03,482 Oh! 722 00:55:08,554 --> 00:55:09,389 Will this do? 723 00:55:11,824 --> 00:55:13,427 That's too heavy. 724 00:55:14,693 --> 00:55:17,697 Can you please hurry it up! 725 00:55:18,831 --> 00:55:20,767 All right, all right already, gosh! 726 00:55:33,146 --> 00:55:34,314 That's good. 727 00:55:37,617 --> 00:55:38,452 What the? 728 00:55:42,822 --> 00:55:44,257 Where'd she go? 729 00:55:54,333 --> 00:55:57,233 Why does this keep happening to me? 730 00:55:58,704 --> 00:55:59,739 Oh god. 731 00:56:00,706 --> 00:56:02,675 Why is this always so... 732 00:56:06,878 --> 00:56:08,778 What was that about? 733 00:56:13,518 --> 00:56:14,517 Okay, that was weird. 734 00:56:14,519 --> 00:56:17,487 Hair tutorial girl just vanished into the forest 735 00:56:17,489 --> 00:56:20,624 and now I'm left with a dead farting body. 736 00:56:20,626 --> 00:56:22,626 It looks so familiar. 737 00:56:22,628 --> 00:56:25,396 Meh, probably just my imagination. 738 00:56:25,398 --> 00:56:28,932 What I need to do is center, regroup my thoughts. 739 00:56:28,934 --> 00:56:30,601 I might be seeing things again. 740 00:56:30,603 --> 00:56:35,472 Man, those mushrooms have some gnarly acid flashbacks. 741 00:56:35,474 --> 00:56:37,740 Okay, I need to calm my mind. 742 00:56:37,742 --> 00:56:39,309 I need a zen moment. 743 00:56:39,311 --> 00:56:40,610 I am a woman, 744 00:56:40,612 --> 00:56:41,744 hear me roar. 745 00:56:45,617 --> 00:56:47,985 Okay, that was in my head, right? 746 00:56:47,987 --> 00:56:48,822 Okay. 747 00:56:52,824 --> 00:56:54,391 I am a woman, 748 00:56:54,393 --> 00:56:55,693 hear me roar. 749 00:57:08,673 --> 00:57:10,807 So much for tranquility. 750 00:57:10,809 --> 00:57:13,309 And here I was thinking I could reach nirvana, 751 00:57:13,311 --> 00:57:15,915 like that one time in that hot yoga class I tried. 752 00:57:38,838 --> 00:57:40,507 And now we're all caught up. 753 00:57:43,675 --> 00:57:45,842 I'm getting pretty good at this survival thing. 754 00:57:45,844 --> 00:57:48,345 I just wish I had some pre-workout with me. 755 00:57:48,347 --> 00:57:50,817 Ugh, I miss my Wow Force protein. 756 00:57:52,918 --> 00:57:54,584 But look at me! 757 00:57:54,586 --> 00:57:56,686 I'm getting better at this free-climbing thing. 758 00:57:56,688 --> 00:57:58,856 I'm even starting to enjoy it. 759 00:57:58,858 --> 00:58:00,291 I just wish I brought something 760 00:58:00,293 --> 00:58:01,858 other than high heel sneakers with me, 761 00:58:01,860 --> 00:58:04,827 but then this outfit would not look this cute. 762 00:58:04,829 --> 00:58:06,563 I have this funny feeling 763 00:58:06,565 --> 00:58:08,768 that I might've taken the long way up this mountain. 764 00:58:10,869 --> 00:58:12,672 But maybe there's a signal up there! 765 00:58:14,706 --> 00:58:17,441 There has got to be some signal somewhere 766 00:58:17,443 --> 00:58:19,512 in this nature's bag of dicks. 767 00:58:21,780 --> 00:58:25,682 This fast at cardio is the bomb! 768 00:58:25,684 --> 00:58:29,019 Damn, that was the ultimate burn! 769 00:58:29,021 --> 00:58:31,755 Leg day, smashed! 770 00:58:39,764 --> 00:58:41,498 Oh my god, I can't breathe. 771 00:58:41,500 --> 00:58:42,599 I can't breathe, I can't breathe! 772 00:58:42,601 --> 00:58:44,037 I can't breathe, I can't breathe! 773 00:58:52,110 --> 00:58:53,543 Whew. 774 00:58:53,545 --> 00:58:54,744 Ugh, much better. 775 00:58:54,746 --> 00:58:58,414 I think I've set some of record for wearing a waist trainer. 776 00:58:58,416 --> 00:58:59,883 I need a break. 777 00:58:59,885 --> 00:59:02,589 That mountain was a little rough for my complexion. 778 00:59:03,856 --> 00:59:05,558 I'm either gonna be glowing or 779 00:59:06,891 --> 00:59:08,891 I'm gonna need some industrial strength facials 780 00:59:08,893 --> 00:59:10,728 when I get out of here. 781 00:59:10,730 --> 00:59:11,563 I mean, 782 00:59:14,900 --> 00:59:16,766 I don't think there's any dirt left on the ground. 783 00:59:16,768 --> 00:59:19,436 It's like all in my pores! 784 00:59:19,438 --> 00:59:21,871 Luckily I'm prepared for this. 785 00:59:21,873 --> 00:59:25,675 My Super Mega Pore Suck mud mask should do the trick. 786 00:59:25,677 --> 00:59:26,876 Just need a place to sit down 787 00:59:26,878 --> 00:59:28,612 and do a little spa treatment. 788 00:59:28,614 --> 00:59:31,650 You know, it's all about personal care and hygiene. 789 00:59:43,829 --> 00:59:44,961 Good thing I'm all alone out here. 790 00:59:44,963 --> 00:59:48,132 I mean, if someone sees me like this, I would just... 791 00:59:48,134 --> 00:59:50,099 Die, you faceless form of a space alien! 792 00:59:50,101 --> 00:59:50,903 Whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, it's me! 793 00:59:53,972 --> 00:59:55,072 Shit. 794 00:59:55,074 --> 00:59:56,773 Didn't recognize you. 795 00:59:56,775 --> 00:59:58,175 Almost blew your face off. 796 00:59:58,177 --> 00:59:59,913 I'm doing a little spa treatment. 797 01:00:01,079 --> 01:00:02,945 Yeah. Maybe I should blow your face off. 798 01:00:02,947 --> 01:00:04,815 Your pores were looking horrible back there. 799 01:00:04,817 --> 01:00:05,885 I know, right? 800 01:00:07,619 --> 01:00:09,688 It's all about personal care and hygiene. 801 01:00:10,889 --> 01:00:13,123 What the hell are you still doing here anyway? 802 01:00:16,061 --> 01:00:18,162 I told you how to get out of here. 803 01:00:18,164 --> 01:00:20,197 I followed all your directions to the letter 804 01:00:20,199 --> 01:00:22,802 and here I am. 805 01:00:25,871 --> 01:00:27,704 We need to get out of here, now. 806 01:00:27,706 --> 01:00:29,972 What are you thinking, cocktails, dancing? 807 01:00:29,974 --> 01:00:31,874 No, we need ex-fill ASAP. 808 01:00:31,876 --> 01:00:33,543 Are they a band, they new? 809 01:00:33,545 --> 01:00:34,711 Never heard of them. 810 01:00:44,023 --> 01:00:44,923 Oh Jesus. 811 01:00:49,494 --> 01:00:52,931 That's not exactly a hunting rifle you got there. 812 01:00:54,500 --> 01:00:55,668 No, it's not. 813 01:00:57,068 --> 01:00:59,873 You mean you're not hiking or hunting? 814 01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:02,206 Oh, I'm hunting. 815 01:01:02,208 --> 01:01:04,842 I just hope I get it before it gets me. 816 01:01:16,621 --> 01:01:17,554 What the hell, what the hell, 817 01:01:17,556 --> 01:01:18,155 what the hell, what the hell! 818 01:01:18,157 --> 01:01:19,021 I gotta get outta here! 819 01:01:19,023 --> 01:01:21,057 I hate the outdoors! 820 01:01:27,666 --> 01:01:29,999 OMG, what should I do? What do I do, what do I do, 821 01:01:30,001 --> 01:01:31,501 what do I do, what do I do! 822 01:01:31,503 --> 01:01:33,135 He's like an outdoorsy guy. 823 01:01:33,137 --> 01:01:34,537 Wait, should I help him? 824 01:01:34,539 --> 01:01:35,805 Nah, he's fine, he's fine, he's fine. 825 01:01:35,807 --> 01:01:37,641 I think I'm just gonna get in the way. 826 01:01:37,643 --> 01:01:39,141 Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah. 827 01:01:39,143 --> 01:01:40,943 I'll just text him later. 828 01:01:40,945 --> 01:01:41,780 He got this. 829 01:01:42,780 --> 01:01:44,046 What was that? 830 01:01:44,048 --> 01:01:46,717 That had to be some mutant bear lion octopus. 831 01:01:46,719 --> 01:01:48,251 Six eyes, tentacles. 832 01:01:48,253 --> 01:01:50,220 The water must be totally contaminated 833 01:01:50,222 --> 01:01:51,722 out here or something. 834 01:01:51,724 --> 01:01:53,090 My mother was right, 835 01:01:53,092 --> 01:01:57,059 I am gonna die a lonely spinster! 836 01:01:57,061 --> 01:01:59,162 Well at least my pores are glowing now. 837 01:01:59,164 --> 01:02:00,264 Not that it matters. 838 01:02:03,635 --> 01:02:05,936 Oh look, a cave! 839 01:02:05,938 --> 01:02:09,776 What possible dangers can lurk inside here? 840 01:02:10,943 --> 01:02:13,744 Ugh, it doesn't matter anymore anyway, does it? 841 01:02:13,746 --> 01:02:16,179 I'm alone, again! 842 01:02:16,181 --> 01:02:18,548 Just like my whole life! 843 01:02:18,550 --> 01:02:19,849 I miss my phone! 844 01:02:19,851 --> 01:02:23,086 Just holding it makes me feel better! 845 01:02:23,088 --> 01:02:25,692 I'm severed from the collective! 846 01:02:26,858 --> 01:02:28,958 I'm never gonna find my way out of here, am I? 847 01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:33,030 There will be stories of the lonely crazy lady 848 01:02:33,032 --> 01:02:35,666 who lives up in the cave in the mountains. 849 01:02:35,668 --> 01:02:38,137 It'll be used to scare children at night. 850 01:02:39,271 --> 01:02:40,938 I'll just stop shaving, plucking, 851 01:02:40,940 --> 01:02:43,072 and just let everything go. 852 01:02:43,074 --> 01:02:44,874 I'll eat pasta, doughnuts, pizza, 853 01:02:44,876 --> 01:02:47,844 stop doing squats and let my abs get all flabby. 854 01:02:47,846 --> 01:02:50,847 I mean, who do I need to look good for? 855 01:02:50,849 --> 01:02:54,717 My whole love life has just been a mess. 856 01:02:54,719 --> 01:02:57,220 All I wanted was to find a nice guy, 857 01:02:57,222 --> 01:02:59,590 someone who will love me. 858 01:02:59,592 --> 01:03:01,825 But who is the real me? 859 01:03:01,827 --> 01:03:04,026 I'm not exactly a good person. 860 01:03:04,028 --> 01:03:07,197 I mean, I just left that guy to die. 861 01:03:07,199 --> 01:03:08,932 He was out there screaming, 862 01:03:08,934 --> 01:03:11,802 and I just kinda ran away, 863 01:03:11,804 --> 01:03:13,269 not to mention poor Jake. 864 01:03:13,271 --> 01:03:17,740 I have like the worst luck ever. 865 01:03:17,742 --> 01:03:18,941 Now that I've seen more of the world, 866 01:03:18,943 --> 01:03:22,713 I guess it's not so important to have a million followers. 867 01:03:22,715 --> 01:03:26,215 Kenny's probably some special forces black ops guy 868 01:03:26,217 --> 01:03:29,786 who doesn't even have a real identity, like my dad. 869 01:03:29,788 --> 01:03:33,190 He's not even online and he's still hot. 870 01:03:33,192 --> 01:03:36,092 Hot guys without social media? 871 01:03:36,094 --> 01:03:38,061 Is that even possible? 872 01:03:38,063 --> 01:03:39,729 Poor Kenny and Jake. 873 01:03:39,731 --> 01:03:44,737 OMG, does this make me like a black widow? 874 01:03:45,103 --> 01:03:46,135 R.I.P. 875 01:03:46,137 --> 01:03:47,806 They were so lit. 876 01:03:58,317 --> 01:04:00,416 Huh? 877 01:04:00,418 --> 01:04:03,088 Ah, it was a dream. 878 01:04:04,289 --> 01:04:05,121 Ugh. 879 01:04:05,123 --> 01:04:06,992 Oh, thank goodness. 880 01:04:12,998 --> 01:04:16,001 Oh, hello room, I've missed you. 881 01:04:24,076 --> 01:04:25,010 Still got it. 882 01:04:27,945 --> 01:04:28,780 Mm! 883 01:05:41,052 --> 01:05:41,887 Hello? 884 01:05:43,422 --> 01:05:46,192 Hello, daughter of the universe. 885 01:05:48,193 --> 01:05:50,260 My mom's name is Diane. 886 01:05:50,262 --> 01:05:53,162 We are all children of the universe. 887 01:05:53,164 --> 01:05:55,132 No need to worry. 888 01:05:55,134 --> 01:05:57,200 Nothing happens randomly. 889 01:05:57,202 --> 01:06:00,273 There is a divine path to everything. 890 01:06:01,139 --> 01:06:03,076 We are all but stardust. 891 01:06:04,208 --> 01:06:05,342 Uh-huh. 892 01:06:05,344 --> 01:06:07,209 The paths you have chosen 893 01:06:07,211 --> 01:06:10,349 and the decisions you've made led you here. 894 01:06:12,416 --> 01:06:13,983 Uh-huh. 895 01:06:13,985 --> 01:06:15,452 And what have you learned so far 896 01:06:15,454 --> 01:06:17,090 from your journey, my child? 897 01:06:18,289 --> 01:06:20,990 Not to wear high-heeled sneakers while hiking. 898 01:06:20,992 --> 01:06:23,260 Well, that's a start. 899 01:06:23,262 --> 01:06:25,364 But what have you learned with your heart? 900 01:06:26,831 --> 01:06:29,032 Not to lie on my dating profile. 901 01:06:29,034 --> 01:06:30,534 Closer. 902 01:06:30,536 --> 01:06:33,235 Think beyond here. 903 01:06:33,237 --> 01:06:34,436 I don't know. 904 01:06:34,438 --> 01:06:36,907 I've seen some ratchet shit out there. 905 01:06:36,909 --> 01:06:38,809 You have questions. 906 01:06:38,811 --> 01:06:40,543 Yeah, how do I get out of here? 907 01:06:40,545 --> 01:06:42,813 Excellent question. 908 01:06:42,815 --> 01:06:44,815 The body is just a mortal coil 909 01:06:44,817 --> 01:06:46,416 that we're all trapped in. 910 01:06:46,418 --> 01:06:48,083 But if you free your mind, 911 01:06:48,085 --> 01:06:51,987 it will flow with the energy of the universe. 912 01:06:51,989 --> 01:06:54,124 I can teach you ancient techniques. 913 01:06:54,126 --> 01:06:57,427 No, no, I mean how do I get out of here? 914 01:06:57,429 --> 01:07:00,831 Oh, oh, do you get bars in here? 915 01:07:00,833 --> 01:07:01,965 No. 916 01:07:01,967 --> 01:07:04,501 Ask yourself deeper questions. 917 01:07:04,503 --> 01:07:08,304 Oh, you mean like meaningful questions. 918 01:07:08,306 --> 01:07:10,072 Yes, exactly. 919 01:07:10,074 --> 01:07:11,307 Ask, my child. 920 01:07:17,048 --> 01:07:18,447 How is Jessica getting all her followers? 921 01:07:18,449 --> 01:07:20,352 She's buying her likes, isn't she? 922 01:07:21,186 --> 01:07:22,188 Oh my god. 923 01:07:23,054 --> 01:07:23,889 Is she real? 924 01:07:29,327 --> 01:07:30,396 Let me tell you a secret. 925 01:07:31,597 --> 01:07:34,130 The ultimate answer you're looking for, 926 01:07:34,132 --> 01:07:35,865 it will end your search 927 01:07:35,867 --> 01:07:38,534 and will take you to a new level of consciousness. 928 01:07:38,536 --> 01:07:41,470 Space time will come together, and your 929 01:07:41,472 --> 01:07:43,373 - questions will be answered. - Huh? 930 01:07:43,375 --> 01:07:46,409 For example, when the ancient gods came down 931 01:07:46,411 --> 01:07:47,943 in their flying chariots 932 01:07:47,945 --> 01:07:50,315 and seeded mankind with their DNA, 933 01:07:51,215 --> 01:07:53,215 the aliens never left. 934 01:07:53,217 --> 01:07:54,217 They're still here. 935 01:07:54,219 --> 01:07:57,253 Touchy-feely Chuck, Bob, and Steve tried to help, 936 01:07:57,255 --> 01:07:59,322 but accidentally caused the disco era 937 01:07:59,324 --> 01:08:01,057 and the porn industry. 938 01:08:01,059 --> 01:08:02,492 Then there are the lizard people. 939 01:08:02,494 --> 01:08:04,193 Total assholes! 940 01:08:04,195 --> 01:08:07,264 Homeland Security was founded to keep them in check. 941 01:08:07,266 --> 01:08:08,597 They created the internet 942 01:08:08,599 --> 01:08:11,367 to distract the people from what's really going on. 943 01:08:11,369 --> 01:08:12,668 And that is the secret wisdom 944 01:08:12,670 --> 01:08:15,906 that only a few chosen have ever been given. 945 01:08:15,908 --> 01:08:19,509 The knowledge will alter the very fabric of the universe 946 01:08:19,511 --> 01:08:22,415 and free your mind of enslavement. 947 01:08:24,349 --> 01:08:27,119 Yeah, I'm gonna go now. 948 01:08:29,387 --> 01:08:31,220 What a weirdo. 949 01:08:31,222 --> 01:08:32,257 What, really? 950 01:08:34,493 --> 01:08:37,430 Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue. 951 01:08:50,641 --> 01:08:53,442 Oh my god, what is wrong with me? 952 01:08:53,444 --> 01:08:55,544 Why am I such a perv? 953 01:08:55,546 --> 01:08:58,348 That guy had super important junk to say. 954 01:08:58,350 --> 01:08:59,683 Do I need help? 955 01:09:26,511 --> 01:09:28,648 O.M.G. 956 01:09:29,613 --> 01:09:32,382 - Barbi? - Jessica? 957 01:09:32,384 --> 01:09:34,183 What are you doing here? 958 01:09:34,185 --> 01:09:36,221 I didn't know you hiked these trails. 959 01:09:39,457 --> 01:09:40,992 Are you totally copying me? 960 01:09:41,993 --> 01:09:43,528 Wait a minute, what trails? 961 01:09:44,662 --> 01:09:47,399 The trail that's like 10 feet that way. 962 01:09:53,471 --> 01:09:54,306 What? 963 01:09:56,408 --> 01:09:58,040 I come here every day. 964 01:09:58,042 --> 01:10:00,545 How do you think I get those inspirational selfies? 965 01:10:01,512 --> 01:10:02,711 You get those here? 966 01:10:02,713 --> 01:10:05,147 Yeah. 967 01:10:05,149 --> 01:10:05,984 Bag of dicks. 968 01:10:11,323 --> 01:10:12,258 Wow. 969 01:10:14,259 --> 01:10:15,394 You're wearing that? 970 01:10:17,429 --> 01:10:18,596 Brave choice. 971 01:10:21,332 --> 01:10:23,366 So, where have you been? 972 01:10:23,368 --> 01:10:25,501 You haven't like uploaded in like two days. 973 01:10:25,503 --> 01:10:26,972 People think you're dead. 974 01:10:27,706 --> 01:10:29,406 Yeah. 975 01:10:29,408 --> 01:10:32,142 There's like Where's Barbi memes all over the web. 976 01:10:32,144 --> 01:10:33,045 Really? 977 01:10:34,311 --> 01:10:35,280 I was here. 978 01:10:36,414 --> 01:10:37,246 Here? 979 01:10:37,248 --> 01:10:39,214 Like here? 980 01:10:39,216 --> 01:10:40,416 For two days? 981 01:10:40,418 --> 01:10:42,585 Yeah, I was totally lost. 982 01:10:42,587 --> 01:10:44,420 No way! 983 01:10:44,422 --> 01:10:46,356 Shut up, shut up! 984 01:10:47,826 --> 01:10:49,729 You were here, lost for two days? 985 01:10:51,395 --> 01:10:52,630 What about the internets? 986 01:10:54,565 --> 01:10:56,566 Well, I had no signal, 987 01:10:56,568 --> 01:10:58,537 and then naturally, my cellphone died. 988 01:11:02,274 --> 01:11:03,609 You poor thing. 989 01:11:05,143 --> 01:11:06,476 But thanks. 990 01:11:06,478 --> 01:11:07,509 Now that you're gone, 991 01:11:07,511 --> 01:11:08,710 everyone has dropped your feed, 992 01:11:08,712 --> 01:11:12,182 and I'm the number one new selfie queen. 993 01:11:12,184 --> 01:11:13,319 You snooze you lose. 994 01:11:15,087 --> 01:11:16,585 Bitch! 995 01:11:16,587 --> 01:11:19,455 I totally knew that you were stealing my followers 996 01:11:19,457 --> 01:11:21,092 and paying for subscribers. 997 01:11:21,792 --> 01:11:22,627 Whatever. 998 01:11:24,296 --> 01:11:26,798 I just have so many companies wanting to do collabs with me. 999 01:11:28,466 --> 01:11:31,201 I'm making so much money. 1000 01:11:31,203 --> 01:11:34,240 Good luck making a comeback. 1001 01:11:35,340 --> 01:11:36,606 At least my followers were real. 1002 01:11:36,608 --> 01:11:39,811 Aw, you're just a sore loser. 1003 01:11:41,613 --> 01:11:42,648 And by the way, 1004 01:11:44,381 --> 01:11:46,652 you look like you haven't been doing your squats. 1005 01:11:47,786 --> 01:11:49,320 Your ass is looking flat. 1006 01:11:57,362 --> 01:11:58,831 Jesus, Barbi. 1007 01:12:00,231 --> 01:12:02,268 You get lost in the woods for two days 1008 01:12:03,335 --> 01:12:05,703 and you just let everything go. 1009 01:12:06,604 --> 01:12:08,170 Ugh! 1010 01:12:10,341 --> 01:12:11,174 Burn! 1011 01:12:14,813 --> 01:12:15,713 It burns! 1012 01:12:17,649 --> 01:12:18,684 Burn. 1013 01:12:19,684 --> 01:12:20,552 Yeah, burn. 1014 01:12:21,552 --> 01:12:22,587 Tss! 1015 01:12:23,689 --> 01:12:25,722 Too bad you didn't have that burn to keep you warm 1016 01:12:25,724 --> 01:12:27,760 when you slept here for the past two nights. 1017 01:12:28,659 --> 01:12:31,593 Throwing some bad shade, girl. 1018 01:12:31,595 --> 01:12:33,164 Here's more. 1019 01:12:35,233 --> 01:12:36,769 Are you wearing your waist trainer? 1020 01:12:39,738 --> 01:12:41,207 Mm, no. 1021 01:12:42,173 --> 01:12:43,341 You should be. 1022 01:12:44,408 --> 01:12:46,675 You're looking a little soft. 1023 01:12:46,677 --> 01:12:48,678 Have you been skipping ab day too? 1024 01:12:48,680 --> 01:12:50,580 - I was... - Oh well. 1025 01:12:50,582 --> 01:12:51,650 Good luck. 1026 01:12:52,817 --> 01:12:55,652 I still can't believe you got lost out here for two days. 1027 01:12:55,654 --> 01:13:00,593 There are like trails everywhere. 1028 01:13:01,659 --> 01:13:03,259 You're such a basic, Barbi. 1029 01:13:03,261 --> 01:13:05,727 Laters! 1030 01:13:05,729 --> 01:13:07,696 Oh my god, guys, guess what? 1031 01:13:07,698 --> 01:13:09,831 I totally just ran into this homeless girl. 1032 01:13:09,833 --> 01:13:11,302 Look at her, right there. 1033 01:13:13,904 --> 01:13:16,539 She tried to mug me! 1034 01:13:16,541 --> 01:13:17,842 Like what the eff? 1035 01:13:18,710 --> 01:13:20,509 Hash tag real life. 1036 01:13:20,511 --> 01:13:21,744 I'm not kidding, people. 1037 01:13:21,746 --> 01:13:25,447 Like this happened, right here, right now. 1038 01:13:29,820 --> 01:13:31,157 What the heck? 1039 01:13:32,623 --> 01:13:35,491 I don't even have like a, a knife on me or anything, 1040 01:13:35,493 --> 01:13:36,625 I don't. 1041 01:13:36,627 --> 01:13:38,794 Oh my god, she's looking frantic. 1042 01:13:38,796 --> 01:13:40,495 I mean, look at her, she's in a pink jacket. 1043 01:13:40,497 --> 01:13:42,264 Like, I don't even know what she's doing out here. 1044 01:13:42,266 --> 01:13:44,400 - Bag of dicks! - She tried to steal from me. 1045 01:13:44,402 --> 01:13:45,701 Like, what? 1046 01:13:45,703 --> 01:13:46,803 Wait. 1047 01:13:46,805 --> 01:13:47,836 Where's that trail? 1048 01:13:47,838 --> 01:13:49,272 It was right there. 1049 01:13:49,274 --> 01:13:50,505 She pointed to it and everything. 1050 01:13:50,507 --> 01:13:51,641 Where did it go? 1051 01:13:51,643 --> 01:13:52,709 I'm gonna die out here, I swear. 1052 01:13:52,711 --> 01:13:54,910 I'm totally gonna die out here. 1053 01:13:54,912 --> 01:13:56,748 How is this possible? 1054 01:13:57,948 --> 01:13:59,382 What? 1055 01:13:59,384 --> 01:14:01,651 Well, that's it, 1056 01:14:01,653 --> 01:14:03,652 I'm officially a has-been. 1057 01:14:03,654 --> 01:14:04,687 Dead to the world. 1058 01:14:04,689 --> 01:14:05,854 She's won. 1059 01:14:05,856 --> 01:14:07,589 I'm done, it's over. 1060 01:14:07,591 --> 01:14:10,695 Jessica has finally got what she wanted and replaced me. 1061 01:14:11,863 --> 01:14:13,696 I might as well go back to the cave 1062 01:14:13,698 --> 01:14:17,567 and party with Red Riding Hood and hair tutorial girl. 1063 01:14:17,569 --> 01:14:18,867 I'll marry butter knife guy 1064 01:14:18,869 --> 01:14:22,405 and we'll have little cave-dwelling monks together. 1065 01:14:22,407 --> 01:14:25,775 Maybe we'll get a reality show! 1066 01:14:25,777 --> 01:14:26,845 The Brennans! 1067 01:14:29,480 --> 01:14:31,848 Hey, is that Kenny? 1068 01:14:31,850 --> 01:14:33,683 He's still alive? 1069 01:14:33,685 --> 01:14:36,422 Does that mean I'm not a black widow? 1070 01:14:38,622 --> 01:14:40,458 Oh hey, you again. 1071 01:14:41,493 --> 01:14:42,991 Are you okay? 1072 01:14:42,993 --> 01:14:43,826 It's dangerous. 1073 01:14:43,828 --> 01:14:45,861 You need to leave, now! 1074 01:14:45,863 --> 01:14:46,896 Obviously. 1075 01:14:46,898 --> 01:14:48,897 What the hell is going on? 1076 01:14:48,899 --> 01:14:51,769 Every time I see you it's some new shit. 1077 01:14:52,936 --> 01:14:54,771 That looks disgusting. 1078 01:14:54,773 --> 01:14:56,571 What happened to your leg! 1079 01:14:56,573 --> 01:14:57,973 It's classified. 1080 01:14:57,975 --> 01:15:00,878 I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you. 1081 01:15:01,945 --> 01:15:04,550 Which at this point might not be a bad idea. 1082 01:15:05,684 --> 01:15:07,853 Ugh, doesn't matter, I'm already dead. 1083 01:15:12,756 --> 01:15:13,390 Fine. 1084 01:15:16,728 --> 01:15:18,396 I work for a government agency 1085 01:15:19,564 --> 01:15:21,664 that deals with extraterrestrial allies. 1086 01:15:21,666 --> 01:15:24,767 Oh, you mean those three little gray guys in the forest? 1087 01:15:24,769 --> 01:15:26,905 I thought I was totally tripping balls. 1088 01:15:27,805 --> 01:15:29,607 You met Chuck, Bob, and Steve? 1089 01:15:30,608 --> 01:15:31,877 I think so, maybe. 1090 01:15:33,811 --> 01:15:35,314 Does it hurt when you sit? 1091 01:15:38,382 --> 01:15:39,749 A little. 1092 01:15:39,751 --> 01:15:41,451 Yeah. 1093 01:15:41,453 --> 01:15:43,820 I think back on their planet that means you're married. 1094 01:15:43,822 --> 01:15:44,821 Oh, ew! 1095 01:15:44,823 --> 01:15:45,858 No way! 1096 01:15:46,890 --> 01:15:47,924 Ugh! 1097 01:15:47,926 --> 01:15:48,892 Wait, hold on a second, 1098 01:15:48,894 --> 01:15:50,996 if they're friendly, why are you fighting them? 1099 01:15:51,930 --> 01:15:54,066 No, I'm not fighting them. 1100 01:15:55,367 --> 01:15:56,632 Chuck, Bob, and Steve are great guys. 1101 01:15:56,634 --> 01:15:59,471 A little touchy-feely, but still great guys. 1102 01:16:00,805 --> 01:16:02,138 I'm fighting the other guys. 1103 01:16:02,140 --> 01:16:03,638 What other guys? 1104 01:16:03,640 --> 01:16:05,974 The eat your face off acid for blood 1105 01:16:05,976 --> 01:16:08,510 world domination ones. 1106 01:16:08,512 --> 01:16:11,147 Look, there's a lot of shit going on here, 1107 01:16:11,149 --> 01:16:13,549 but I don't have time to tell you all that right now. 1108 01:16:13,551 --> 01:16:14,453 Uh, yeah. 1109 01:17:41,872 --> 01:17:43,205 Wait! 1110 01:17:43,207 --> 01:17:45,674 What am I doing? 1111 01:17:45,676 --> 01:17:47,843 I can't just leave him again! 1112 01:17:47,845 --> 01:17:49,845 He's saved my ass like three times already! 1113 01:17:49,847 --> 01:17:52,514 This might be the perfect opportunity 1114 01:17:52,516 --> 01:17:55,250 for me to actually do something good! 1115 01:17:55,252 --> 01:17:57,986 It's not like I have anything else to live for. 1116 01:17:57,988 --> 01:18:01,523 I have to change my goals from taking the best selfies 1117 01:18:01,525 --> 01:18:05,061 to making the world a better place! 1118 01:18:05,063 --> 01:18:06,295 From this day forth, 1119 01:18:06,297 --> 01:18:10,165 I'll never again take a box of doughnuts to Weight Watchers! 1120 01:18:10,167 --> 01:18:14,603 I'll never watch another house full of kittens burn down! 1121 01:18:14,605 --> 01:18:18,540 I will never again sell Ziploc bags full of corn syrup 1122 01:18:18,542 --> 01:18:21,544 as breast implants to cancer survivors on the Dark Web. 1123 01:18:21,546 --> 01:18:25,080 I will never again donate my parents' used sex toys 1124 01:18:25,082 --> 01:18:26,049 to children's charity. 1125 01:18:26,051 --> 01:18:29,919 I will never again sell orphans into slavery! 1126 01:18:29,921 --> 01:18:34,690 I will never again set the homeless on fire just for lulz! 1127 01:18:34,692 --> 01:18:37,159 I will not sit by and watch another old lady 1128 01:18:37,161 --> 01:18:39,896 get dragged off by coyotes. 1129 01:18:39,898 --> 01:18:40,763 Never again! 1130 01:18:40,765 --> 01:18:44,733 And I will never, ever eat anything 1131 01:18:44,735 --> 01:18:47,738 that doesn't say gluten-free! 1132 01:18:49,106 --> 01:18:51,042 If only I had my eyes open. 1133 01:18:52,877 --> 01:18:55,311 Not always staring at my phone! 1134 01:18:55,313 --> 01:18:57,048 Paid more attention! 1135 01:18:59,050 --> 01:19:00,519 What am I missing? 1136 01:20:16,027 --> 01:20:17,927 There is so much more to this world 1137 01:20:17,929 --> 01:20:20,196 than what I see on that tiny screen. 1138 01:20:20,198 --> 01:20:24,333 I'm gonna make amends for all the things I did wrong. 1139 01:20:24,335 --> 01:20:29,271 Somehow, I will take responsibility for my actions. 1140 01:20:29,273 --> 01:20:33,275 I will make the world a better place. 1141 01:20:33,277 --> 01:20:35,745 It's time for me 1142 01:20:35,747 --> 01:20:40,185 to finally grab that bag of dicks by the balls. 1143 01:20:42,386 --> 01:20:46,257 And I start now! 1144 01:22:39,970 --> 01:22:41,004 Are you okay? 1145 01:22:41,006 --> 01:22:43,472 My leg's pointed in three different directions. 1146 01:22:43,474 --> 01:22:46,875 I wish that beam put me together a little bit straighter. 1147 01:22:48,445 --> 01:22:49,277 Ow! 1148 01:22:49,279 --> 01:22:51,280 Oh, easy kid. 1149 01:22:51,282 --> 01:22:52,848 Where'd you learn to shoot like that? 1150 01:22:52,850 --> 01:22:54,383 I'm from Texas. 1151 01:22:54,385 --> 01:22:55,851 My dad was a Marine, 1152 01:22:55,853 --> 01:22:58,155 and my granny has a bigger gun than yours. 1153 01:23:01,125 --> 01:23:02,060 This is gonna hurt. 1154 01:23:02,960 --> 01:23:04,261 Are you sure you know what you're doing? 1155 01:23:05,195 --> 01:23:06,030 Um, nah. 1156 01:23:11,301 --> 01:23:12,336 Thanks. 1157 01:23:13,371 --> 01:23:14,206 Looks ratchet. 1158 01:23:19,810 --> 01:23:21,242 What the hell are you doing? 1159 01:23:21,244 --> 01:23:22,480 Taking off a waist trainer. 1160 01:23:23,914 --> 01:23:24,546 What the hell are you gonna do with that? 1161 01:23:24,548 --> 01:23:26,048 Won't fit my waist. 1162 01:23:29,020 --> 01:23:30,518 It's steel-boned. 1163 01:23:30,520 --> 01:23:32,323 Oh you've gotta be kidding me. 1164 01:23:35,193 --> 01:23:36,261 I am not kidding you. 1165 01:23:38,061 --> 01:23:39,331 Pink is not my color. 1166 01:23:40,297 --> 01:23:41,899 It's gonna have to work for now. 1167 01:23:43,100 --> 01:23:45,067 There was a girl in a suit in the forest 1168 01:23:45,069 --> 01:23:46,235 stuck under a rock. 1169 01:23:46,237 --> 01:23:48,236 Do you know what happened to her? 1170 01:23:48,238 --> 01:23:50,839 Um, yeah, it's kinda messy. 1171 01:23:50,841 --> 01:23:54,343 Um, rogue double agent, Homeland Security, 1172 01:23:54,345 --> 01:23:56,081 stole something very valuable. 1173 01:23:57,247 --> 01:23:59,283 You haven't seen a briefcase around here, have you? 1174 01:24:08,024 --> 01:24:09,558 You mean this? 1175 01:24:09,560 --> 01:24:14,330 Um, yeah, that's, uh, 1176 01:24:14,332 --> 01:24:15,801 that's definitely it. 1177 01:24:19,036 --> 01:24:19,968 Thanks. 1178 01:24:19,970 --> 01:24:22,406 Um, this looks pretty good. 1179 01:24:23,940 --> 01:24:24,973 Can you move? 1180 01:24:24,975 --> 01:24:26,407 Yeah, I can move. 1181 01:24:26,409 --> 01:24:28,212 I can't dance, but I can move. 1182 01:24:33,951 --> 01:24:37,052 You know, you're pretty good at this. 1183 01:24:37,054 --> 01:24:39,356 You ever considered a career in government work? 1184 01:24:40,358 --> 01:24:41,589 Could use someone with your skills, 1185 01:24:41,591 --> 01:24:43,959 but you'd have to leave your old life behind. 1186 01:24:43,961 --> 01:24:47,129 Well, I've been offline for two days, 1187 01:24:47,131 --> 01:24:49,330 so everybody already thinks I'm dead. 1188 01:24:49,332 --> 01:24:53,103 We can give you a cool code name like, uh, 1189 01:24:54,137 --> 01:24:54,972 Ronan. 1190 01:24:56,239 --> 01:24:58,607 Oh, samurai with no master. 1191 01:24:58,609 --> 01:24:59,444 I like it. 1192 01:25:00,543 --> 01:25:02,010 Oh that's actually just the name 1193 01:25:02,012 --> 01:25:03,012 of my favorite sushi joint down in Soho, 1194 01:25:03,014 --> 01:25:05,013 but I like what you said too. 1195 01:25:05,015 --> 01:25:07,282 Hey, Chuck, Bob, and Steve, 1196 01:25:07,284 --> 01:25:10,119 why aren't they helping you fight the bad guys? 1197 01:25:10,121 --> 01:25:12,454 No, those guys are lovers, not fighters, 1198 01:25:12,456 --> 01:25:14,423 but they make great tech. 1199 01:25:14,425 --> 01:25:15,327 Here, hold this. 1200 01:25:22,166 --> 01:25:25,200 Yeah, need immediate extraction. 1201 01:25:25,202 --> 01:25:27,102 You talk to your MP3 player? 1202 01:25:39,149 --> 01:25:42,152 You know, you're, you're kinda cute. 1203 01:25:43,520 --> 01:25:44,956 Welcome to your new life. 1204 01:25:46,690 --> 01:25:47,524 Take us up. 1205 01:26:28,298 --> 01:26:30,034 Hey, hey, there's my car! 1206 01:26:32,235 --> 01:26:33,701 No no no, you guys can just drop me off here. 1207 01:26:38,208 --> 01:26:40,041 Thanks! 1208 01:26:40,043 --> 01:26:43,144 Wow, not bad for a long weekend. 1209 01:26:43,146 --> 01:26:45,680 Three husbands, and Kenny's kinda cute. 1210 01:26:45,682 --> 01:26:48,717 I'm sure Chuck, Bob, and Steve are gonna be totally chill 1211 01:26:48,719 --> 01:26:50,518 with me seeing other people. 1212 01:26:50,520 --> 01:26:52,487 If it's outside the solar system, 1213 01:26:52,489 --> 01:26:55,223 it probably doesn't count, right? 1214 01:26:55,225 --> 01:26:57,425 So much for being a spinster. 1215 01:26:57,427 --> 01:27:00,465 I can't wait to go home and take a nice shower. 1216 01:27:01,465 --> 01:27:02,363 Oh, wait. 1217 01:27:02,365 --> 01:27:04,532 I need my keys, duh. 1218 01:27:04,534 --> 01:27:06,101 Where did I put those? 1219 01:27:06,103 --> 01:27:08,169 Gotta be in here somewhere. 1220 01:27:08,171 --> 01:27:09,440 I left them right here. 1221 01:27:11,574 --> 01:27:12,543 I left them right here. 1222 01:27:14,412 --> 01:27:15,544 Oh no. 1223 01:27:15,546 --> 01:27:17,382 Where did I leave them last? 1224 01:27:23,554 --> 01:27:27,188 Hey, can I, can I put my keys on you? 1225 01:27:27,190 --> 01:27:28,589 Yeah, sure. 1226 01:27:36,634 --> 01:27:40,535 OMG, that's right. 1227 01:27:40,537 --> 01:27:41,505 Bag of dick! 1228 01:27:46,377 --> 01:27:48,544 You're right, after all that. 1229 01:27:48,546 --> 01:27:50,611 I had a spaceship, 1230 01:27:50,613 --> 01:27:52,815 and now I have to take the bus. 1231 01:27:52,817 --> 01:27:54,616 Worst 1232 01:27:54,618 --> 01:27:55,420 weekend 1233 01:27:56,487 --> 01:27:57,322 ever. 1234 01:29:11,427 --> 01:29:12,262 Whoa! 1235 01:29:13,697 --> 01:29:16,665 As if I haven't had enough, I lose my keys too. 1236 01:29:16,667 --> 01:29:19,168 What kind of freaking world is this? 1237 01:29:19,170 --> 01:29:22,340 Haven't I had enough of this world? 1238 01:29:24,440 --> 01:29:25,507 This is terrible. 1239 01:29:25,509 --> 01:29:26,743 What am I gonna do now? 1240 01:29:35,586 --> 01:29:36,652 Oh my god, grandma. 1241 01:29:36,654 --> 01:29:37,718 What are you doing here? 1242 01:29:37,720 --> 01:29:39,588 Get in the car. 1243 01:29:39,590 --> 01:29:40,589 Oh my god! 1244 01:29:40,591 --> 01:29:42,590 Thank you so much! 1245 01:29:42,592 --> 01:29:44,593 You have no idea what I've just been through 1246 01:29:44,595 --> 01:29:46,394 for the last two days! 1247 01:29:46,396 --> 01:29:48,397 Well not anymore, you're okay now. 1248 01:29:48,399 --> 01:29:50,432 Yes, thank you! 1249 01:29:50,434 --> 01:29:51,269 Yay! 1250 01:29:51,514 --> 01:29:56,514