I haven't seen anyone
outside of work and therapy, not for weeks.
I haven't talked to my parents.
We've texted here and there.
But that's it really.
I'm going to hate text messaging.
When it comes to conversations about real life,
what the fuck is a text anyway?
Except a way to get what you want and need
without having to earn the right to a response.
I don't know what's going on with me.
I don't even know myself.
I don't know if I should care.
I haven't consistently, no.
Why not?
You don't have a reason?
I'm sure there must be one.
What's the first thing that comes to mind?
That it's boring.
It's tiring.
It hurts my hand.
It hurts your hand?
When I write for a long time,
I don't hold my pen right.
I hold it like a fork.
And there's no other way you can do it?
What do you mean?
Like type it all out, save it to a folder?
Yeah, why not?
Whatever.
It still just seems boring.
It is boring.
I can't keep it up for more than a few days
at a time.
So you're bored with efforts to communicate with yourself?
Are other people usually bored by you?
When you talk with them?
No, not usually.
Maybe you could think about some more interesting ways
to keep this record of your feelings from day to day.
It is important for me to journal right now, I know that.
I accept it.
It is essential that I learn to reflect.
So this is me, reflecting
In a way that's more appropriate to the current age.
But is it better?
Writing by hand is archaic, I know this
to be a true feeling, I have vetted it.
I am doing this not as a means of
finding an excuse not to journal, but as
part of an experiment, an adaptation.
Feels different.
I don't know if it's different in necessarily a good way,
but I don't not know either.
Not sad tonight.
So that's a plus.
Except
because I'm not sad I don't know
what else I'm feeling either.
That doesn't mean I'm happy, just because
I said I'm not sad.
Maybe this is an excuse to not write my feelings out.
Maybe I'm just indulging my own personal form of television.
Maybe I'm just years late
to the YouTube impulse, only I'm not even
doing it right, because it's just me.
Not watching.
Maybe I'm on to something here.
Maybe this is the next best thing
in media entertainment.
Soon, we'll all be staring into our own cameras
talking to ourselves alone in our homes.
It's like the worst mirror in the world.
One that remembers.
I don't know, mirror, nothing happened today.
Nothing worth talking about.
I clicked around the internet all day,
did maybe an hour's worth of work,
got praised for it.
This little entry is hardly worth
the cost of data storage.
You hear that, mirror?
You're a waste today.
You're worthless.
It's already getting significantly colder out,
but I wanted to be out here.
I feel better out here.
The city seems quiet.
Almost peaceful when you look at it
from just a few floors up.
It's neither, though, obviously.
It's weird
that we don't talk about it anymore,
all the noise and the conflict and the pain.
I guess we're used to it.
There's some joy too, I suppose.
But that might be harder to see.
Maybe I'm just not looking closely enough.
I'm angry.
I'm angry that I can't just go away somewhere
and fix all of my problems
I'm angry that a lot of them aren't even my fault.
I know I'm underdeveloped emotionally,
but what about the world that chewed me up
and spit me out into this moment, huh?
I mean, how fucked up is it that I resorted
to talking to myself into a camera
in order to stay grounded between therapy sessions?
How fucked up is it that I still think
this is good idea?
I know what this is.
This is the only way for me to be able to
delineate between what is real and what I am imagining.
So it's a crutch.
So what?
This is better than doing it to a person.
An unconscious, unfeeling machine is not capable
of being hurt by my bullshit,
and it doesn't judge.
Yeah.
A mirror that remembers but does not judge.
Maybe there's some value in that.
I don't know what's going on with me.
I don't even know myself.
I don't know if I should care.
Cass keeps trying to get in touch.
She's not giving up.
But what the fuck am I supposed to say?
I'm sorry I've been out of touch but I've
pulled myself apart and I don't know what to
make of what's left.
What's the difference anyway?
I have to go through this alone.
It's not completely true.
I'm going to talk to Cass, I'm going,
I'm going to end it.
I stopped communicating with people.
I'm afraid of what they'll think of me
as I actually am.
I wanted to record a quick entry
before I fell asleep.
Cass let me borrow Zelda for the weekend.
I called her.
That's why I'm so tired.
We spent the whole day out at the park
and we talked for hours.
I told her what's been going on with me.
She's known that I've been in therapy
and she's known for longer than that
that I'm
that I've struggled.
That I'm a little damaged.
But she didn't know...
It's good that I reached out.
I'm never alone,
even if I feel that way sometimes.
I know that on a reasonable level,
but emotionally I forget.
* By the one thing you love
* Pull with the threads
* Say I'm not letting go
* But what is the world
* That we cling to it's old
* Did we fall up or down?
* Once we were sure
* But not anymore
* You know what to do
* Oh it's coming around
* Still you are invest
* 'Cause you want what comes next
* So you
Thanks y'all, my name's Mike O'Malley,
I'll be your entertainment for at least the next hour.
I promise it'll be relatively painless.
It's Friday.
I want wine.
It's a wine kind of night for me.
Okay, okay, I think wine
is for other weeknights.
What's the best shot and beer combo
I can get for 10 bucks?
They're on the board.
* I was halfway out the woods
* And things were looking good
* A herd of goats and babies
* And a fence made out of wood
* And horticulture's not my thing
* But mercy me you had a pretty garden *
Hey.
Hi.
You're...
Margaret.
Writer, right?
Yeah.
Sometimes.
Yeah, Brett.
I remember.
Yep.
My wife is grabbing a table in the back
if you wanna join.
It's gonna get pretty slammed in here later.
I'm meeting a friend.
Gotcha.
Well, we're not on a date or anything,
so we're meeting friends too if you change your mind.
Okay.
You should totally hang.
Hi.
Hey, who are you?
This is Brett.
Hi.
I was just inviting Margaret to come join
me and my wife in the back.
A few other friends are coming.
Cool.
Let's do it.
Okay?
Sure.
Cool.
I'm gonna go put my shit down.
Sure.
It's the first coat he ever bought for himself
as an adult.
No it's not.
I bought the last one you replaced
with your mother,
who probably bought all the others ones before that.
I picked some out.
I have bought a coat.
I don't believe you,
but it sounds like you're just a Ken doll.
I picked the red one, the one we just donated.
The ugly ski jacket.
It's not ugly, and plus it was only 15 bucks.
One more.
Oh no.
Someone paid you 15 bucks to take it from them?
One more, Margaret.
No.
He'll keep up this refrain all night if you let him.
Yeah, it's Friday!
Friday.
It's Friday!
It's Friday.
Cheers.
Yeah I don't have anything, guys.
Yay.
Two more, two more.
Two more!
Okay!
Come on girls, Taco Time.
Taco Time.
Oh ho, so Taco Time!
How am I supposed to know what you look like?
Oh, of course.
Of course you do them.
Okay, fine.
Hi, good morning.
Can I help you find a table or...
Did you eat?
Did I eat?
Yeah, I waited just in case you hadn't.
I didn't want to be rude.
Is this table okay for you both?
Um, yeah.
Sorry.
Nothing to be sorry about, would you like a menu?
I know what I want, she can use mine.
Okay, great, so I'll be back in a bit.
Would you like a beverage, something to start with?
Coffee's really good.
Yeah, it totally is.
Yeah, I know.
I'll have a coffee and some water, please.
Great.
Why do you want to eat with me?
I don't know.
Can I have my bag please?
Yeah, of course.
I don't mind if you wanna check it.
I only really care about the computer
which I know must be in there, and the files on it.
The ones that you decided it was okay to watch.
Well if I hadn't, it might not have become
so important to me to get it back to you.
Here we go, a coffee, and water for everyone.
Do you need another minute?
Yeah, I think so.
No problem at all.
If it makes you feel more comfortable,
I feel the same way you do.
About a lot of stuff.
Like the stuff you said, really resonated with me.
I'm sorry I watched your videos.
It's okay.
Guess it could have gone worse.
Yeah.
Some asshole could have found them.
When you talk about therapy, and stuff like that,
is that a...
Where do you go to find out about stuff like that?
I went through my insurance.
Of course.
Not all therapists take insurance.
Many don't actually.
They get tired of insurance companies trying to tell them
how to do their job and how much people are worth.
The point is that you don't have to have insurance.
Some people just pay?
I guess so.
I don't know.
I probably wouldn't be able to afford it.
Not twice a week, at least.
I have to.
Is it something you would be interested in?
I don't know, maybe.
I thought about it before, but I don't know
where I'd find the time or the money to do it.
I've got student insurance though,
it's not too great outside of school.
You could probably talk to someone there, too,
if you wanted.
What you do is great too, though.
I recorded my own video blog after
watching yours yesterday.
I'm sorry.
I know they're supposed to be all private and stuff,
and I shouldn't have kept watching them
but I couldn't help it.
I go through the same shit too, you know that.
The same shit, for reals.
Um, thank you, V.
Sure, it's no problem.
It's a little strange how it happened,
but it was nice to meet you.
It's nice to meet you, too.
And thank you.
For what?
You know, for talking to me and eating with me,
and for not being mad that I watched all your videos.
Unless you are mad.
I'm just a little uncomfortable.
Right, I understand that.
I can show you mine.
If it would help, make it fair.
You would feel comfortable doing that?
Oh my God!
Come inside, come inside.
Oh my God!
So cute!
What's her name?
Zelda
My friend loaned her to me for a couple of days.
Good friend?
Uh-huh.
I actually have to walk her.
They're beautiful.
My mom used to hoist me onto their lawn
to take pictures or something.
Like after my penance.
You're Catholic?
Technically, I guess.
You?
Same, technically.
You're not all white, are you?
Uh, how'd you know?
You're a little more exotic-looking
than the white-white girls that hang around here.
You're really pretty though
Thank you.
So are you.
If you don't mind my saying.
You just didn't have to say it because I said it.
Oh I wasn't...
I just don't try to be pretty-pretty.
You're being kind of hard on yourself
if you don't my saying.
Maybe.
I could help you, if you want, to find a therapist.
If that's what you want.
You don't have to do that.
I know.
But still, I you want, I could.
I'll think about it, if that's okay.
Okay, okay.
Oh.
I wish dogs didn't poop.
I wish that people would accept that they did
enough to pick up after them.
Fair point, fair point.
Did you hear about that mayor in Spain
that hired all those people to follow around
the shittier people that leave their dog poop
and put it on their doorstep?
What?
That's amazing.
Yeah, he got all these young people
to look out for it, and they walk around
and they just like follow people when their dogs poop,
pick it up, box it up, and put it on their doorstep.
Nice.
I like it.
Serving some justice and giving young people jobs.
Yeah, I guess.
I guess I could be into that.
You know, pick up a little shit, make a little money.
Coffee's really good.
Oh, good, thanks.
The coffee at that cafe's really good too.
I'd never been there before.
Oh, their coffee's better than this.
Maybe, but not by much.
It's better than what my mother makes.
There's a coffee spectrum, I guess.
You live at home?
Yeah.
You grew up here?
Yeah.
You wanna watch the video?
Oh, um if you want to show it to me still,
that's okay.
Wanted to try this.
When I watched Marge's videos, they just seemed
so real, you know?
I don't know about this for me.
I know I shouldn't have even watched the first video,
but it was right there.
So personal.
Told myself if I watched it it would help me
find out who it belonged to,
and that was a lie.
I didn't even know if I was gonna give it back,
'til I watched all of them.
I did, I watched all of 'em.
I feel bad, but I don't, you know?
I feel guilty.
But it affected me, you know?
It helped me.
I'm gonna apologize to her when I
give her computer back.
Maybe I'll tell her about this, you know?
Maybe she doesn't hate me after she finds out
I spied on her.
I don't know about this, I usually write when I'm upset.
That's how I became a writer in the first place.
I like having that difference,
like I don't like to write without a reason.
Like, I like writing about a character that's me
but isn't me.
This is me though.
Can't fight that fact.
What am I supposed to do now?
Talk about my feelings?
How do I feel?
Just fuckin' angry, you know?
That's how I always feel when I'm here.
Just...
I feel hopeless, I feel like none of this
even matters, it's never gonna matter
as long as I'm still here with her,
and I have to be with her, at least until
I'm finished with school.
You know, fuck her though, because I'm not
going to give up, I'm just...
If I'm going to give up my dreams and my writing just to
get a job and drop out of school and move out
before it's time for me to.
What, just 'cause she wants me to?
I know how that'll wind up for me.
I get swallowed up, I get swallowed up
and I wouldn't make it.
Not on my terms.
I'm not stupid, I'm very smart.
I'm smarter than her, or at least
I'm more honest than she is.
I have that.
I have that in me.
Another?
Yes please.
How's your girlfriend, Ian?
She's okay.ú
Run out of time for work,
haven't really seen her lately.
I hope I'm not weirding her out.
She didn't seem to mind or anything, just...
It's nice to know that she's out there, you know?
Somebody like her that doesn't judge me
when I'm being me.
Kind of would like to hang out some more.
Can I just ask her that?
Who am I even talking to right now?
It's me, yeah it's me, but
I'm not really there, you're not real,
you're not the ghost of me.
You're not there, you just...
On second thought, maybe that is the definition of me.
She's there but she's not.
Margaret!
I'm recording this video for you since
that is what the cool kids are doing these days.
But for real, this is an important message
I have a mission for you.
Zing pow!
This bottle of wine is full and look, there's more!
Mags and Cass forever.
Yes.
I spent an impractical amount of time on this,
but I think that illustrates my commitment.
How is that for visual aid, huh?
A visual aid you can drink.
Once you let me into your apartment, tonight.
I don't expect anything from you.
We both know that our love runs deeper than that.
That it's pure.
Pure even than the age-old tradition
of imbibing on the grape in times of
great personal upheaval.
Are you still upheaved, my love?
This is the question I must have answered
if I am to sleep on this night.
This is my quest on this noble Saturday.
Don't deny me my quest
I'll die of broken heart.
Well maybe not, but I still wanna come over.
* It's a need I can't explain
Text me, woman.
There's a voice in your head.
You've been hearing a new voice in your head,
but you want it though.
I told you, it's not...
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was joking.
I just don't think that it's...
Oh, I was totally joking.
I just don't think that it's funny.
You told me that I can open up to you and then...
Yeah, I'm sorry.
You're right.
I'm actually a little bit jealous.
I know it's been hard, but it's like,
I've been witnessing you change your life.
I thought you were awesome before, but now...
Don't try to flatter me just to make up
for hurting me.
What?
Nothing.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to...
Look, I told you you don't have to
do all of this, I know that I'm hard...
No, stop.
You're fine.
I just have to get used to it, you know?
It's new.
It's not something that you have to get used to,
it's me.
Okay.
Fine.
But you are saying a lot of things
you never said before and being a little more honest lately,
which is fine with me.
It's even refreshing.
I wanna do it too.
What?
I don't know if it's because we're a little bit older,
and maybe we're not spending enough time
with each other, or...
Hi.
Sorry.
You can come in.
Thanks.
Hi.
I'm Cass.
I'm sorry.
What for?
It's fine.
I should have texted you first or something.
Do you want some wine?
I don't wanna interrupt your night.
Oh, you're totally fine.
Tell her.
Of course, but do you drink?
A little.
I'm sorry, but I'm just trying to be responsible here,
but are you old enough to drink?
She's old enough.
To answer for herself, you mean.
Whatever you're comfortable with.
I got in a fight with my mom.
I'm sorry to hear that.
She's just so fuckin' batshit.
Word, I hear that.
Oh.
I just did that.
Sorry.
It's okay, I'm used to it.
What I meant to say is...
I just really don't wanna talk about it right now.
If you don't mind.
I'm sorry I interrupted your night.
It's totally okay.
Let's talk about something else.
How do you like the wine?
It's really good, actually.
Right?
Marge says it's too tannic.
I don't know what that means.
Nah, that's okay.
Neither does she.
Zelda's your dog, right?
Oh, that's right you met her.
You watched her crap.
She's sweet, right?
Yeah, yeah, she's sweet.
I will definitely text you first next time.
Sounds good.
I would have told you to come over anyway.
I know.
Are you
going to be walking into anything?
Usually.
I like her a lot.
Yeah.
She's tough.
Like us.
As much as,
as far as I've come
since I first started coming here, it's always
just been me, you know?
Out there, in the world, not in here.
And it's weird because I know that she came to me
because she feels safe, and that
that feels nice.
Feels good.
We seem to share a common trauma.
But still there's this voice, that old voice in my head
telling me, protect yourself.
Don't give too much of yourself.
Don't take responsibility for others.
But at the same time I don't feel like I should listen
to that voice anymore.
Why, why is that?
Because it's wrong.
Do you feel it's wrong.
I just said that.
Well yes, but,
to me it appears you're
unsure.
I'm not unsure.
I'm just waiting for confirmation.
Which you're not going to give me.
Well, even if I felt it was the right thing to do,
I'm still, I'm still not completely clear
on what it is you've decided.
Because I'm meandering?
Are you surprised?
I don't feel like I should listen to that voice this time
because,
it's different.
She's not asking anything of me,
and I'm not offering anything that I can't give.
And I like her.
Well from what you've told me,
seems as if there's plenty to like so far.
Cass says she's tough like us,
and I like the idea, you know, of women helping women.
Plus everybody needs a place to go.
How about you?
You have a place to go?
I just said it, here.
I mean, in your day-to-day life.
Is there, is there somewhere or someone
you can go to when you need help?
I have Cass, I guess.
Okay.
What?
Well I'm just wondering if you think
maybe this new friendship might have something
to offer you, as well.
I would think so.
Can you identify how?
Or what it is that you might get?
What I could get out of friendship?
Hi Cass.
You're super-bored.
And a little bit lonely, so here you are
copying your friend's weird idea.
I don't really get it.
I guess we're supposed to talk about our feelings.
Does hungry count?
I don't even know why I'm laughing,
it's not funny, but I...
It's just, it's so beautiful out today,
and I feel open.
You know, like there's not anything to worry about.
At least not now, not in this moment.
And yeah, I want that.
I want that to last.
I'm gonna go out.
I'm gonna go out and
just go to the cafe and have some lunch
and be lazy.
I'm glad it works for Marge.
She seems to be doing really well these days.
She's like, stable.
She's always been stable on the surface,
but not like this.
I get it.
She's showing up for herself more.
I miss her a little bit.
She still hasn't been around as much.
At the same time, I'm starting to feel closer to her
when I do see her.
It's got me thinking a little bit,
maybe I should talk to someone too.
I'm fine, but you know...
I guess I'm starting to understand how this works.
It's a little devious.
Margaret would come up with something like this.
I have to keep looking at myself.
You know, when I don't talk,
it keeps listening, so I have to
keep talking
to myself.
Touche, Marge.
I just feel,
I feel
really overwhelmed sometimes.
Everything I do,
I just do it.
I'm all doer.
I get up and I go,
and I go out
and I hang out
and I stay out,
but...
Now I know I have plenty to be happy about,
and I just feel, fuck, even right now
I know I can just turn this off and go find
something to make me happy, but
Is that happy?
Every fucking time I say something
about anything that I'm happy about,
she fucking shits all over it.
Doesn't matter what I do.
Doesn't matter what I fucking say.
I feel like I can burst
sometimes.
I feel like I could
destroy something, or someone.
I noticed a few men have been on the wrong end
of that compulsion.
Fuck.
She didn't even let me finish lettin' me tell her
how many people actually read the magazine
before she skipped to the end and just
started in on me.
I don't know about that creative writing thing,
because that ain't no real job.
You ain't gonna make no real money,
and I ain't payin' all this money for you to stay poor.
Parents worry.
She isn't even paying all of my tuition,
I earn that shit through scholarships.
Now I'm just continuing this by yelling at you.
You're not yelling at me.
Not like that at least.
Besides, even if you were, I'm pretty used to it.
I figured you would understand.
Still doesn't make it right though.
What in the world are you smiling about?
I don't know.
Maybe it's just because I'm not sad right now?
Not tonight, at least.
I don't wanna make you think
I don't sympathize with you.
No, I, I don't wanna be sad either.
I'm angry, you know,
but maybe underneath that I'm a little sad,
but I don't know, right now I just don't feel it.
Good, then it's settled.
No sadness.
Okay.
You wanna go outside for a little bit?
Outside where?
Can I ask you something?
Yeah.
Are you safe?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
I just felt like I should ask.
She doesn't hit me anymore.
She's too scared of me.
She created a monster, you know.
I'm 10 times angrier than she is
and I'd give it back to her.
Couple years ago was the last time she hit me.
She started on me for some bullshit reason or another,
and I don't know something was different that time.
She...
I just didn't back down.
The first time in my life I didn't back down,
at least from her.
Something in my just snapped, you know?
Just changed.
That ever happen to you?
Yeah.
I wrote something about it,
like a metaphor.
I don't really like it and it's not nearly good enough,
but I'll tell it to you if you want to hear it.
Okay.
You know how you have that
that hard, bendable plastic,
like one of those little cheap black combs
that's not gone through the unbreakable,
so they're actually breakable?
What if you have something like that
and you just bend it?
You bend it just 'cause it could bend?
And you just keep bending it 'cause you can,
just back and forth, back and forth.
Maybe you start to realize when you put
a little more pressure on it,
it becomes that weird greyish-white color
and it weakens.
But you don't stop, right?
You keep bending it just 'cause you can.
And you keep goin', you just go back and forth,
back and forth, and of course
you think yeah, this is gonna snap,
it's gotta break, right?
But then you hear that hard snapping.
When you look down the inside isn't soft,
it's like when you have two sharp pieces
in your hand.
Surprised though.
That's how I felt.
That's how I feel.
And I'm just two broken pieces in her hand.
She, she just got angrier and angrier
and I didn't even say anything.
She said the worst things that she's ever said.
I didn't back down though.
Mm-mm.
She didn't put her hand on me either,
'cause I don't know what it was, maybe it was
just something I said.
I think that's what it was.
I think I just looked at her and I said,
you try to fucking hit me again, old lady.
Just try it.
She said the worst things she's ever said to me that night.
She never put her hands on me again.
Sorry.
Don't be.
I had a fight like that once, too.
With my dad.
Good for you.
No.
It wasn't, it was never good.
For anybody.
I see what you're saying,
but I don't completely agree with you.
There is something I could do.
I can be there for you,
just like you're always there for me.
Probably do a better job with that sort of stuff.
I know we can.
And I think we should.
What are you scheming?
What makes you think I'm scheming?
Don't play games with me, Cassandra.
Okay, there is something
I want to talk to you about.
Are you okay?
Oh yeah, no, I'm fine.
I wanted to talk to you about my lease.
Your lease, what about it?
It's up in a little over a month,
and I'm thinking of moving.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
Ugh my God, I totally wanted to
talk to you about this in person.
And I know you like living alone,
but other best friends live with each other, Marge,
it's not a crazy proposition.
I know, I know.
But, I thought that you liked living alone, too.
Ah, it's losing its appeal.
My whole lonely lifestyle is rapidly
losing its appeal.
It's not funny.
I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you.
You totally just laughed at me.
Right in my face.
If I had been recording this, I'd have proof.
And who says I'm not?
Okay, okay.
I've stopped.
Right.
I'm serious, though.
I wanna at least live closer to you.
I miss you, boob.
Living closer would be fucking awesome.
Right?
That doesn't mean you're off the hook
with the roommate proposal.
I know you probably need some time,
but I think that should be option 1A.
What about the commute?
I'll be saving a shitton in rent, Mags.
I'll just buy some paperbacks for the train.
Screw that.
I'll steal 'em from you.
They'd be given freely.
So you'd be cool with at least that?
Me moving to your hood?
More than cool with it.
And I don't own the neighborhood, so.
Yeah, I can live wherever I want.
I don't need your fucking permission.
I am serious about this.
I know.
I wanna just
get my shit together and like be.
I'm gonna read all your smarty pants books,
at least half way, and
I'm gonna follow you to yoga or meditation or whatever,
and I'm gonna start buying organic and shit.
I'm gonna be your happy hippy shadow.
Oh, hippies don't cast shadows.
They're like vampires?
Vampires cast shadows, Cass,
they don't have reflections.
Oh, but would a vampire shadow
be seen in a mirror?
And what about vampire hippies?
What do they eat?
Beets?
That makes no sense, Margaret.
Yes it does.
Soon we're going to be able to be ridiculous in person.
It's going to be great.
It's okay, let me take this.
I'm just gonna put it down over here.
It's okay.
Sorry.
It's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
You're gonna be okay.
It's still hot.
Do you, do you want me to call anybody?
I did.
I mean anybody else?
Like who?
Like the police?
Whoever.
There's no one to call.
Except for my brother,
but that's why I can't call the police.
I'm sorry, I don't understand.
She gives him money.
He's a fuck-up, but he needs it.
She would cut him off just to get to me,
and I can't do that to him,
and I can't fuck with her just to get to him,
I have to help him instead.
That's really not your responsibility.
And it's not yours, either.
I'm sorry.
No, you're right, I get it.
It's complicated.
I'm sorry that I had nowhere else to go to.
It's fine.
Why is it fine?
Why are you being so nice to me?
What, do you just feel so sorry
for the poor little black girl?
The tea smells good.
It is good.
It's probably cool enough to drink right now.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, no it's not, it's not.
It's not cool enough.
I'll just leave it there.
Yeah.
We'll wait.
Yeah.
This what I got to look forward to?
Huh, unfortunately.
Um, there is stuff to make sandwiches in the fridge,
and feel free to take whatever you want, okay?
Also, if you have any trouble like finding anything
or if you wanna talk, just text me, okay?
Actually, I'll just call you later.
You don't have to do that, okay.
I know, I know, I just don't have any dinner food,
so we'll talk about dinner, all right?
Okay, bye.
This was a good call.
Yeah, I thought something dimple would be good.
Mm, how much do I owe you for everything?
No.
No, really, how much do I owe you?
Look, I really don't have anywhere else to go.
I know.
I know that.
And I really appreciate you letting me stay with you.
Vee.
Just let me finish.
Okay.
Sorry.
I just don't wanna crowd you
and I don't wanna overstay my welcome.
That's not why I was asking...
Just let me pay for food this time, bitch.
Okay.
Fine.
You dip your fries in barbecue?
You don't?
It's delicious.
Barbecue's for meat.
You don't eat barbecue potato chips?
I'll just stick to ketchup.
Where are you goin'?
I'm leaving.
I hope you and your ketchup are very happy together.
What's wrong with you?
I'm just gettin' some water.
Do you want some water?
Sure.
I didn't know you were silly.
I don't care, Marge, I wanna see it.
Why?
Because it looks beautiful.
It's out of your price range,
and it's a three-bedroom.
And there are three of us here.
Woah, I can't.
I can't afford to move yet, I mean,
I will but I can't do that.
I'm gonna go look at it, and the two of you
can either come with me, or not.
Come on!
Square, uh let me double check on the details.
I'm so excited to show you this location.
Could be the start of a really cool girl's club.
I'm offering you a chance to get in on the ground level.
I like my place, Cass.
How much can you pay?
Cass.
Are you comfortable telling me?
I really like this place and I can afford a big portion
of the rent.
Honestly?
Of course.
I don't know, maybe 500 tops.
She may not want to live with you.
You may be putting her on the spot.
I'm sorry, am I doing that?
Not really.
I don't not wanna live with you.
Mhm?
But with both of you.
Oh my god, you two.
You can't even move for another month,
and this place'll probably be gone by then.
Three weeks.
They'll save it for us.
My credit score's bomb.
And even if I do have to pay extra,
it still represents savings in the long run.
If you join us.
I don't wanna pay an uneven share.
What if you get last pick of the bedrooms?
Cass.
What?
She shouldn't have to worry about that.
You need to start a new life.
Of course you should be comfortable
with how that gets done, but
let people help you.
I'm not usually good at helping people.
Ultimately, money is such a minor thing.
Says the person with money.
Mhm.
Rowr.
I...
I would consider signing if Mags does.
Ha!
Let's go this, Mags.
I am your destiny.
We are your destiny.
I don't know if I can break my lease.
Ah!
My dear, we will wait for you!
Hey lady!
Do you wanna keep talking on the phone
to a prospective client, or do you wanna make money
right now?
I feel like this could be really good for me.
For us.
I know I haven't been through what Vee is going through,
or what Marge has been through, and I'm thankful for that.
But maybe that means I can help.
Maybe when we live together,
if we talk with the time, everybody's got
their own shit to deal with.
I'm not exactly the picture of happiness.
A reset will be good.
Why wouldn't I wanna live with my best friend?
And the more I get to know Vee, the more I like her.
She's really fucking smart, and she's got a smart ass,
which is the best kind of ass to have,
which makes her my kind of roommate.
I hope Girl's Club doesn't turn into book club though.
It might with those two
I could do wine and books.
That could be my contribution.
The wine.
I'm still afraid, yeah,
but I know it's gonna be
a long road, and that it's gonna take
more than change to help me,
but I don't know, maybe Cass was right.
I just need something for me.
A new life for me.
Or at least something with potential.
That's all I know for now,
just that it won't be the same as it was before.
So.
Are we gonna talk about the groceries,
or?
Very funny, bitch.
Very funny.
We'll see how it goes.
It might,
it will probably be good for me.
For all of us.
It's worth a shot.
It's something to do,
in addition to all the searching and the talking.
Do you know why I really said yes?
Why?
I'm not stupid.
I know Cass.
I knew something like this might happen.
The idea gave me hope.
You know?
Finally.
Some real hope.
Something to be thankful for.
I mean, two people who really get me,
two real people who will always be there for me,
no matter what.
I feel that trust.
How many times have I walked in here
with that kind of positivity?