2 00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:18,618 I haven't seen anyone 3 00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:21,823 outside of work and therapy, not for weeks. 4 00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:30,198 I haven't talked to my parents. 5 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:36,936 We've texted here and there. 6 00:00:36,938 --> 00:00:38,607 But that's it really. 7 00:00:41,810 --> 00:00:43,678 I'm going to hate text messaging. 8 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:48,750 When it comes to conversations about real life, 9 00:00:53,021 --> 00:00:55,054 what the fuck is a text anyway? 10 00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,924 Except a way to get what you want and need 11 00:00:57,926 --> 00:01:01,062 without having to earn the right to a response. 12 00:01:06,868 --> 00:01:08,568 I don't know what's going on with me. 13 00:01:08,570 --> 00:01:12,772 I don't even know myself. 14 00:01:12,774 --> 00:01:14,976 I don't know if I should care. 15 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:32,026 I haven't consistently, no. 16 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,930 Why not? 17 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,301 You don't have a reason? 18 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,871 I'm sure there must be one. 19 00:01:44,873 --> 00:01:48,007 What's the first thing that comes to mind? 20 00:01:48,009 --> 00:01:50,643 That it's boring. 21 00:01:50,645 --> 00:01:53,112 It's tiring. 22 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,582 It hurts my hand. 23 00:01:55,584 --> 00:01:58,217 It hurts your hand? 24 00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,188 When I write for a long time, 25 00:02:01,723 --> 00:02:02,922 I don't hold my pen right. 26 00:02:02,924 --> 00:02:05,226 I hold it like a fork. 27 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,497 And there's no other way you can do it? 28 00:02:10,865 --> 00:02:12,098 What do you mean? 29 00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:15,635 Like type it all out, save it to a folder? 30 00:02:15,637 --> 00:02:17,103 Yeah, why not? 31 00:02:17,105 --> 00:02:18,370 Whatever. 32 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,339 It still just seems boring. 33 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:21,574 It is boring. 34 00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:22,909 I can't keep it up for more than a few days 35 00:02:22,911 --> 00:02:25,980 at a time. 36 00:02:28,950 --> 00:02:33,855 So you're bored with efforts to communicate with yourself? 37 00:02:40,662 --> 00:02:43,297 Are other people usually bored by you? 38 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:47,135 When you talk with them? 39 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,439 No, not usually. 40 00:02:55,944 --> 00:02:59,612 Maybe you could think about some more interesting ways 41 00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:03,918 to keep this record of your feelings from day to day. 42 00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:59,171 It is important for me to journal right now, I know that. 43 00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:01,073 I accept it. 44 00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,778 It is essential that I learn to reflect. 45 00:04:06,948 --> 00:04:09,684 So this is me, reflecting 46 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:13,722 In a way that's more appropriate to the current age. 47 00:04:16,224 --> 00:04:20,059 But is it better? 48 00:04:20,061 --> 00:04:22,394 Writing by hand is archaic, I know this 49 00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:25,264 to be a true feeling, I have vetted it. 50 00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:28,500 I am doing this not as a means of 51 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,904 finding an excuse not to journal, but as 52 00:04:31,906 --> 00:04:35,844 part of an experiment, an adaptation. 53 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,016 Feels different. 54 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:46,485 I don't know if it's different in necessarily a good way, 55 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:49,090 but I don't not know either. 56 00:05:07,809 --> 00:05:10,109 Not sad tonight. 57 00:05:10,111 --> 00:05:12,747 So that's a plus. 58 00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:15,750 Except 59 00:05:16,885 --> 00:05:18,217 because I'm not sad I don't know 60 00:05:18,219 --> 00:05:20,452 what else I'm feeling either. 61 00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:23,923 That doesn't mean I'm happy, just because 62 00:05:23,925 --> 00:05:25,927 I said I'm not sad. 63 00:05:30,098 --> 00:05:34,200 Maybe this is an excuse to not write my feelings out. 64 00:05:34,202 --> 00:05:37,271 Maybe I'm just indulging my own personal form of television. 65 00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:41,307 Maybe I'm just years late 66 00:05:41,309 --> 00:05:43,542 to the YouTube impulse, only I'm not even 67 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,214 doing it right, because it's just me. 68 00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:48,817 Not watching. 69 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,785 Maybe I'm on to something here. 70 00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:56,288 Maybe this is the next best thing 71 00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:58,259 in media entertainment. 72 00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:02,494 Soon, we'll all be staring into our own cameras 73 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:05,033 talking to ourselves alone in our homes. 74 00:06:08,970 --> 00:06:11,039 It's like the worst mirror in the world. 75 00:06:11,973 --> 00:06:13,474 One that remembers. 76 00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:21,249 I don't know, mirror, nothing happened today. 77 00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,718 Nothing worth talking about. 78 00:06:25,954 --> 00:06:29,255 I clicked around the internet all day, 79 00:06:29,257 --> 00:06:32,458 did maybe an hour's worth of work, 80 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,593 got praised for it. 81 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,299 This little entry is hardly worth 82 00:06:40,301 --> 00:06:42,003 the cost of data storage. 83 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,707 You hear that, mirror? 84 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,642 You're a waste today. 85 00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,313 You're worthless. 86 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,087 It's already getting significantly colder out, 87 00:07:01,089 --> 00:07:03,791 but I wanted to be out here. 88 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:09,797 I feel better out here. 89 00:07:11,232 --> 00:07:13,868 The city seems quiet. 90 00:07:15,003 --> 00:07:16,969 Almost peaceful when you look at it 91 00:07:16,971 --> 00:07:18,973 from just a few floors up. 92 00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:24,845 It's neither, though, obviously. 93 00:07:29,217 --> 00:07:31,483 It's weird 94 00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,319 that we don't talk about it anymore, 95 00:07:33,321 --> 00:07:37,658 all the noise and the conflict and the pain. 96 00:07:41,996 --> 00:07:43,564 I guess we're used to it. 97 00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:49,837 There's some joy too, I suppose. 98 00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:54,108 But that might be harder to see. 99 00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:59,347 Maybe I'm just not looking closely enough. 100 00:08:13,094 --> 00:08:15,327 I'm angry. 101 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:19,331 I'm angry that I can't just go away somewhere 102 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,635 and fix all of my problems 103 00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:26,572 I'm angry that a lot of them aren't even my fault. 104 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,807 I know I'm underdeveloped emotionally, 105 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,542 but what about the world that chewed me up 106 00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:34,080 and spit me out into this moment, huh? 107 00:08:34,082 --> 00:08:35,914 I mean, how fucked up is it that I resorted 108 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:39,085 to talking to myself into a camera 109 00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:43,624 in order to stay grounded between therapy sessions? 110 00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,392 How fucked up is it that I still think 111 00:08:46,394 --> 00:08:48,196 this is good idea? 112 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,438 I know what this is. 113 00:09:01,209 --> 00:09:03,375 This is the only way for me to be able to 114 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:06,981 delineate between what is real and what I am imagining. 115 00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:12,120 So it's a crutch. 116 00:09:14,222 --> 00:09:15,423 So what? 117 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,893 This is better than doing it to a person. 118 00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:28,767 An unconscious, unfeeling machine is not capable 119 00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:32,140 of being hurt by my bullshit, 120 00:09:35,443 --> 00:09:37,678 and it doesn't judge. 121 00:09:41,382 --> 00:09:42,416 Yeah. 122 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:46,354 A mirror that remembers but does not judge. 123 00:09:53,261 --> 00:09:55,263 Maybe there's some value in that. 124 00:09:58,566 --> 00:10:00,032 I don't know what's going on with me. 125 00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:04,570 I don't even know myself. 126 00:10:04,572 --> 00:10:06,640 I don't know if I should care. 127 00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:15,949 Cass keeps trying to get in touch. 128 00:10:19,253 --> 00:10:20,888 She's not giving up. 129 00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:27,493 But what the fuck am I supposed to say? 130 00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:29,261 I'm sorry I've been out of touch but I've 131 00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:31,663 pulled myself apart and I don't know what to 132 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:33,734 make of what's left. 133 00:10:35,203 --> 00:10:39,971 What's the difference anyway? 134 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:43,642 I have to go through this alone. 135 00:10:51,552 --> 00:10:53,121 It's not completely true. 136 00:10:58,526 --> 00:11:02,594 I'm going to talk to Cass, I'm going, 137 00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:04,265 I'm going to end it. 138 00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:09,803 I stopped communicating with people. 139 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:18,179 I'm afraid of what they'll think of me 140 00:11:19,313 --> 00:11:21,182 as I actually am. 141 00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:30,724 I wanted to record a quick entry 142 00:11:32,293 --> 00:11:34,061 before I fell asleep. 143 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,268 Cass let me borrow Zelda for the weekend. 144 00:11:44,605 --> 00:11:46,006 I called her. 145 00:11:48,242 --> 00:11:49,608 That's why I'm so tired. 146 00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:52,278 We spent the whole day out at the park 147 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,382 and we talked for hours. 148 00:11:57,718 --> 00:11:59,920 I told her what's been going on with me. 149 00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,824 She's known that I've been in therapy 150 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,326 and she's known for longer than that 151 00:12:07,328 --> 00:12:08,929 that I'm 152 00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:15,303 that I've struggled. 153 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,374 That I'm a little damaged. 154 00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:24,912 But she didn't know... 155 00:12:34,722 --> 00:12:36,757 It's good that I reached out. 156 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,057 I'm never alone, 157 00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:42,095 even if I feel that way sometimes. 158 00:12:44,398 --> 00:12:47,098 I know that on a reasonable level, 159 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:51,138 but emotionally I forget. 160 00:12:57,278 --> 00:13:00,279 * By the one thing you love 161 00:13:00,281 --> 00:13:04,182 * Pull with the threads 162 00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,620 * Say I'm not letting go 163 00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:11,392 * But what is the world 164 00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:16,564 * That we cling to it's old 165 00:13:18,432 --> 00:13:21,569 * Did we fall up or down? 166 00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:27,608 * Once we were sure 167 00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:31,044 * But not anymore 168 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:36,083 * You know what to do 169 00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:41,021 * Oh it's coming around 170 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,926 * Still you are invest 171 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:51,231 * 'Cause you want what comes next 172 00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:57,538 * So you 173 00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,673 Thanks y'all, my name's Mike O'Malley, 174 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:05,210 I'll be your entertainment for at least the next hour. 175 00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:08,480 I promise it'll be relatively painless. 176 00:14:12,653 --> 00:14:13,719 It's Friday. 177 00:14:13,721 --> 00:14:14,720 I want wine. 178 00:14:14,722 --> 00:14:15,754 It's a wine kind of night for me. 179 00:14:15,756 --> 00:14:17,389 Okay, okay, I think wine 180 00:14:17,391 --> 00:14:20,227 is for other weeknights. 181 00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:24,496 What's the best shot and beer combo 182 00:14:24,498 --> 00:14:26,099 I can get for 10 bucks? 183 00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:29,503 They're on the board. 184 00:14:31,639 --> 00:14:34,039 * I was halfway out the woods 185 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,207 * And things were looking good 186 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,109 * A herd of goats and babies 187 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,045 * And a fence made out of wood 188 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:43,782 * And horticulture's not my thing 189 00:14:43,784 --> 00:14:47,154 * But mercy me you had a pretty garden * 190 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:55,861 Hey. 191 00:14:55,863 --> 00:14:56,695 Hi. 192 00:14:56,697 --> 00:14:57,496 You're... 193 00:14:57,498 --> 00:14:59,230 Margaret. 194 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,332 Writer, right? 195 00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:01,367 Yeah. 196 00:15:01,369 --> 00:15:02,267 Sometimes. 197 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,572 Yeah, Brett. 198 00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,305 I remember. 199 00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,674 Yep. 200 00:15:08,676 --> 00:15:11,643 My wife is grabbing a table in the back 201 00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:12,911 if you wanna join. 202 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:15,046 It's gonna get pretty slammed in here later. 203 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,048 I'm meeting a friend. 204 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,450 Gotcha. 205 00:15:18,452 --> 00:15:21,420 Well, we're not on a date or anything, 206 00:15:21,422 --> 00:15:23,724 so we're meeting friends too if you change your mind. 207 00:15:24,725 --> 00:15:25,657 Okay. 208 00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:28,396 You should totally hang. 209 00:15:31,399 --> 00:15:32,564 Hi. 210 00:15:32,566 --> 00:15:34,766 Hey, who are you? 211 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,001 This is Brett. 212 00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:37,202 Hi. 213 00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:38,437 Hi. 214 00:15:38,439 --> 00:15:39,971 I was just inviting Margaret to come join 215 00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,307 me and my wife in the back. 216 00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,275 A few other friends are coming. 217 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,244 Cool. 218 00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,613 Let's do it. 219 00:15:47,615 --> 00:15:48,647 Okay? 220 00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:49,581 Sure. 221 00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,082 Cool. 222 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,984 I'm gonna go put my shit down. 223 00:15:54,755 --> 00:15:55,521 Sure. 224 00:16:01,629 --> 00:16:04,430 It's the first coat he ever bought for himself 225 00:16:04,432 --> 00:16:05,330 as an adult. 226 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,565 No it's not. 227 00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:08,299 I bought the last one you replaced 228 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,768 with your mother, 229 00:16:09,770 --> 00:16:12,037 who probably bought all the others ones before that. 230 00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,105 I picked some out. 231 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:15,807 I have bought a coat. 232 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:16,975 I don't believe you, 233 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,510 but it sounds like you're just a Ken doll. 234 00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:20,712 I picked the red one, the one we just donated. 235 00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,180 The ugly ski jacket. 236 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:25,116 It's not ugly, and plus it was only 15 bucks. 237 00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,151 One more. 238 00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:27,586 Oh no. 239 00:16:27,588 --> 00:16:29,821 Someone paid you 15 bucks to take it from them? 240 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:30,789 One more, Margaret. 241 00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:32,290 No. 242 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:33,759 He'll keep up this refrain all night if you let him. 243 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:35,994 Yeah, it's Friday! 244 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:36,862 Friday. 245 00:16:36,864 --> 00:16:38,697 It's Friday! 246 00:16:38,699 --> 00:16:39,931 It's Friday. 247 00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:41,166 Cheers. 248 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:44,770 Yeah I don't have anything, guys. 249 00:16:44,772 --> 00:16:46,104 Yay. 250 00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,238 Two more, two more. 251 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,406 Two more! 252 00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:49,677 Okay! 253 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,711 Come on girls, Taco Time. 254 00:16:52,713 --> 00:16:53,745 Taco Time. 255 00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:56,114 Oh ho, so Taco Time! 256 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:12,063 How am I supposed to know what you look like? 257 00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:14,466 Oh, of course. 258 00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:16,367 Of course you do them. 259 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,472 Okay, fine. 260 00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:38,524 Hi, good morning. 261 00:17:38,526 --> 00:17:40,928 Can I help you find a table or... 262 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,836 Did you eat? 263 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,071 Did I eat? 264 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,142 Yeah, I waited just in case you hadn't. 265 00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:57,678 I didn't want to be rude. 266 00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,079 Is this table okay for you both? 267 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,948 Um, yeah. 268 00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,382 Sorry. 269 00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:07,786 Nothing to be sorry about, would you like a menu? 270 00:18:07,788 --> 00:18:09,487 I know what I want, she can use mine. 271 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,489 Okay, great, so I'll be back in a bit. 272 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:14,726 Would you like a beverage, something to start with? 273 00:18:14,728 --> 00:18:17,428 Coffee's really good. 274 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,030 Yeah, it totally is. 275 00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:20,934 Yeah, I know. 276 00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:24,471 I'll have a coffee and some water, please. 277 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,307 Great. 278 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,476 Why do you want to eat with me? 279 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,680 I don't know. 280 00:18:34,682 --> 00:18:36,481 Can I have my bag please? 281 00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,652 Yeah, of course. 282 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,997 I don't mind if you wanna check it. 283 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,933 I only really care about the computer 284 00:18:54,935 --> 00:18:57,836 which I know must be in there, and the files on it. 285 00:18:57,838 --> 00:19:00,741 The ones that you decided it was okay to watch. 286 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:07,245 Well if I hadn't, it might not have become 287 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,282 so important to me to get it back to you. 288 00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:18,692 Here we go, a coffee, and water for everyone. 289 00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:26,464 Do you need another minute? 290 00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:29,067 Yeah, I think so. 291 00:19:29,069 --> 00:19:30,838 No problem at all. 292 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,620 If it makes you feel more comfortable, 293 00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:50,924 I feel the same way you do. 294 00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,162 About a lot of stuff. 295 00:19:59,967 --> 00:20:03,003 Like the stuff you said, really resonated with me. 296 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,279 I'm sorry I watched your videos. 297 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,557 It's okay. 298 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:34,866 Guess it could have gone worse. 299 00:20:34,868 --> 00:20:36,269 Yeah. 300 00:20:38,205 --> 00:20:39,973 Some asshole could have found them. 301 00:20:51,852 --> 00:20:55,622 When you talk about therapy, and stuff like that, 302 00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,592 is that a... 303 00:21:03,163 --> 00:21:05,398 Where do you go to find out about stuff like that? 304 00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:10,170 I went through my insurance. 305 00:21:11,972 --> 00:21:13,373 Of course. 306 00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,776 Not all therapists take insurance. 307 00:21:17,778 --> 00:21:19,612 Many don't actually. 308 00:21:21,048 --> 00:21:23,014 They get tired of insurance companies trying to tell them 309 00:21:23,016 --> 00:21:25,953 how to do their job and how much people are worth. 310 00:21:29,222 --> 00:21:31,925 The point is that you don't have to have insurance. 311 00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:37,195 Some people just pay? 312 00:21:37,197 --> 00:21:38,797 I guess so. 313 00:21:38,799 --> 00:21:40,766 I don't know. 314 00:21:40,768 --> 00:21:43,735 I probably wouldn't be able to afford it. 315 00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:46,071 Not twice a week, at least. 316 00:21:46,073 --> 00:21:47,775 I have to. 317 00:21:52,846 --> 00:21:56,850 Is it something you would be interested in? 318 00:22:00,954 --> 00:22:03,190 I don't know, maybe. 319 00:22:04,858 --> 00:22:07,225 I thought about it before, but I don't know 320 00:22:07,227 --> 00:22:09,830 where I'd find the time or the money to do it. 321 00:22:12,099 --> 00:22:14,199 I've got student insurance though, 322 00:22:14,201 --> 00:22:16,336 it's not too great outside of school. 323 00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:19,570 You could probably talk to someone there, too, 324 00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:22,009 if you wanted. 325 00:22:30,317 --> 00:22:32,152 What you do is great too, though. 326 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,020 I recorded my own video blog after 327 00:22:35,022 --> 00:22:36,689 watching yours yesterday. 328 00:22:48,068 --> 00:22:49,634 I'm sorry. 329 00:22:49,636 --> 00:22:51,502 I know they're supposed to be all private and stuff, 330 00:22:51,504 --> 00:22:53,138 and I shouldn't have kept watching them 331 00:22:53,140 --> 00:22:54,973 but I couldn't help it. 332 00:22:54,975 --> 00:22:56,908 I go through the same shit too, you know that. 333 00:22:56,910 --> 00:22:58,846 The same shit, for reals. 334 00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:21,867 Um, thank you, V. 335 00:23:21,869 --> 00:23:24,102 Sure, it's no problem. 336 00:23:24,104 --> 00:23:26,437 It's a little strange how it happened, 337 00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:29,709 but it was nice to meet you. 338 00:23:30,911 --> 00:23:32,643 It's nice to meet you, too. 339 00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:34,479 And thank you. 340 00:23:34,481 --> 00:23:36,681 For what? 341 00:23:36,683 --> 00:23:39,019 You know, for talking to me and eating with me, 342 00:23:40,921 --> 00:23:43,323 and for not being mad that I watched all your videos. 343 00:23:46,326 --> 00:23:48,860 Unless you are mad. 344 00:23:48,862 --> 00:23:52,697 I'm just a little uncomfortable. 345 00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:55,002 Right, I understand that. 346 00:23:57,637 --> 00:24:00,838 I can show you mine. 347 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,809 If it would help, make it fair. 348 00:24:05,478 --> 00:24:07,380 You would feel comfortable doing that? 349 00:24:17,224 --> 00:24:19,190 Oh my God! 350 00:24:19,192 --> 00:24:20,992 Come inside, come inside. 351 00:24:20,994 --> 00:24:22,996 Oh my God! 352 00:24:26,699 --> 00:24:28,599 So cute! 353 00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:29,700 What's her name? 354 00:24:29,702 --> 00:24:32,037 Zelda 355 00:24:32,039 --> 00:24:34,539 My friend loaned her to me for a couple of days. 356 00:24:34,541 --> 00:24:35,673 Good friend? 357 00:24:35,675 --> 00:24:37,442 Uh-huh. 358 00:24:41,381 --> 00:24:43,050 I actually have to walk her. 359 00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:50,390 They're beautiful. 360 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:55,026 My mom used to hoist me onto their lawn 361 00:24:55,028 --> 00:24:56,861 to take pictures or something. 362 00:24:56,863 --> 00:24:59,599 Like after my penance. 363 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,134 You're Catholic? 364 00:25:03,136 --> 00:25:05,236 Technically, I guess. 365 00:25:05,238 --> 00:25:07,740 You? 366 00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:12,445 Same, technically. 367 00:25:16,984 --> 00:25:19,317 You're not all white, are you? 368 00:25:20,887 --> 00:25:24,091 Uh, how'd you know? 369 00:25:25,892 --> 00:25:27,525 You're a little more exotic-looking 370 00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:31,064 than the white-white girls that hang around here. 371 00:25:32,932 --> 00:25:34,699 You're really pretty though 372 00:25:34,701 --> 00:25:36,236 Thank you. 373 00:25:38,238 --> 00:25:40,773 So are you. 374 00:25:43,210 --> 00:25:44,742 If you don't mind my saying. 375 00:25:44,744 --> 00:25:45,943 You just didn't have to say it because I said it. 376 00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:48,415 Oh I wasn't... 377 00:25:51,151 --> 00:25:53,320 I just don't try to be pretty-pretty. 378 00:25:55,855 --> 00:25:58,456 You're being kind of hard on yourself 379 00:25:58,458 --> 00:26:00,260 if you don't my saying. 380 00:26:01,828 --> 00:26:03,163 Maybe. 381 00:26:18,411 --> 00:26:22,713 I could help you, if you want, to find a therapist. 382 00:26:22,715 --> 00:26:24,884 If that's what you want. 383 00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:28,953 You don't have to do that. 384 00:26:28,955 --> 00:26:31,089 I know. 385 00:26:31,091 --> 00:26:33,493 But still, I you want, I could. 386 00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:37,695 I'll think about it, if that's okay. 387 00:26:37,697 --> 00:26:39,166 Okay, okay. 388 00:26:44,837 --> 00:26:46,271 Oh. 389 00:26:46,273 --> 00:26:47,905 I wish dogs didn't poop. 390 00:26:47,907 --> 00:26:50,241 I wish that people would accept that they did 391 00:26:50,243 --> 00:26:52,412 enough to pick up after them. 392 00:26:53,346 --> 00:26:55,048 Fair point, fair point. 393 00:26:57,350 --> 00:26:58,883 Did you hear about that mayor in Spain 394 00:26:58,885 --> 00:27:00,785 that hired all those people to follow around 395 00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:02,620 the shittier people that leave their dog poop 396 00:27:02,622 --> 00:27:04,322 and put it on their doorstep? 397 00:27:04,324 --> 00:27:05,656 What? 398 00:27:05,658 --> 00:27:08,159 That's amazing. 399 00:27:08,161 --> 00:27:10,928 Yeah, he got all these young people 400 00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:13,698 to look out for it, and they walk around 401 00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:16,867 and they just like follow people when their dogs poop, 402 00:27:16,869 --> 00:27:20,538 pick it up, box it up, and put it on their doorstep. 403 00:27:20,540 --> 00:27:23,040 Nice. 404 00:27:23,042 --> 00:27:24,675 I like it. 405 00:27:24,677 --> 00:27:27,414 Serving some justice and giving young people jobs. 406 00:27:30,450 --> 00:27:33,584 Yeah, I guess. 407 00:27:33,586 --> 00:27:35,986 I guess I could be into that. 408 00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:39,257 You know, pick up a little shit, make a little money. 409 00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:13,758 Coffee's really good. 410 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,363 Oh, good, thanks. 411 00:28:18,865 --> 00:28:21,232 The coffee at that cafe's really good too. 412 00:28:21,234 --> 00:28:22,833 I'd never been there before. 413 00:28:22,835 --> 00:28:25,670 Oh, their coffee's better than this. 414 00:28:25,672 --> 00:28:27,638 Maybe, but not by much. 415 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,107 It's better than what my mother makes. 416 00:28:30,109 --> 00:28:32,445 There's a coffee spectrum, I guess. 417 00:28:42,522 --> 00:28:44,589 You live at home? 418 00:28:44,591 --> 00:28:46,593 Yeah. 419 00:28:48,528 --> 00:28:50,127 You grew up here? 420 00:28:50,129 --> 00:28:51,462 Yeah. 421 00:28:51,464 --> 00:28:52,863 You wanna watch the video? 422 00:28:52,865 --> 00:28:56,367 Oh, um if you want to show it to me still, 423 00:28:56,369 --> 00:28:58,004 that's okay. 424 00:29:23,162 --> 00:29:25,031 Wanted to try this. 425 00:29:31,137 --> 00:29:33,338 When I watched Marge's videos, they just seemed 426 00:29:33,340 --> 00:29:36,209 so real, you know? 427 00:29:38,311 --> 00:29:40,413 I don't know about this for me. 428 00:29:45,852 --> 00:29:48,286 I know I shouldn't have even watched the first video, 429 00:29:48,288 --> 00:29:50,721 but it was right there. 430 00:29:50,723 --> 00:29:52,359 So personal. 431 00:29:59,031 --> 00:30:01,466 Told myself if I watched it it would help me 432 00:30:01,468 --> 00:30:03,703 find out who it belonged to, 433 00:30:06,873 --> 00:30:08,138 and that was a lie. 434 00:30:08,140 --> 00:30:10,275 I didn't even know if I was gonna give it back, 435 00:30:10,277 --> 00:30:11,978 'til I watched all of them. 436 00:30:17,684 --> 00:30:19,519 I did, I watched all of 'em. 437 00:30:25,325 --> 00:30:29,629 I feel bad, but I don't, you know? 438 00:30:30,863 --> 00:30:32,164 I feel guilty. 439 00:30:36,836 --> 00:30:37,935 But it affected me, you know? 440 00:30:37,937 --> 00:30:39,906 It helped me. 441 00:30:49,516 --> 00:30:50,748 I'm gonna apologize to her when I 442 00:30:50,750 --> 00:30:52,619 give her computer back. 443 00:30:58,558 --> 00:31:00,827 Maybe I'll tell her about this, you know? 444 00:31:02,094 --> 00:31:03,661 Maybe she doesn't hate me after she finds out 445 00:31:03,663 --> 00:31:05,398 I spied on her. 446 00:31:15,174 --> 00:31:18,543 I don't know about this, I usually write when I'm upset. 447 00:31:18,545 --> 00:31:20,947 That's how I became a writer in the first place. 448 00:31:21,981 --> 00:31:25,182 I like having that difference, 449 00:31:25,184 --> 00:31:28,721 like I don't like to write without a reason. 450 00:31:30,690 --> 00:31:34,892 Like, I like writing about a character that's me 451 00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:36,896 but isn't me. 452 00:31:45,605 --> 00:31:47,273 This is me though. 453 00:31:52,345 --> 00:31:54,180 Can't fight that fact. 454 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:09,226 What am I supposed to do now? 455 00:32:09,228 --> 00:32:11,163 Talk about my feelings? 456 00:32:19,972 --> 00:32:21,608 How do I feel? 457 00:32:25,845 --> 00:32:27,647 Just fuckin' angry, you know? 458 00:32:28,848 --> 00:32:30,314 That's how I always feel when I'm here. 459 00:32:30,316 --> 00:32:32,151 Just... 460 00:32:34,754 --> 00:32:36,587 I feel hopeless, I feel like none of this 461 00:32:36,589 --> 00:32:38,856 even matters, it's never gonna matter 462 00:32:38,858 --> 00:32:40,491 as long as I'm still here with her, 463 00:32:40,493 --> 00:32:41,892 and I have to be with her, at least until 464 00:32:41,894 --> 00:32:43,796 I'm finished with school. 465 00:32:46,633 --> 00:32:48,566 You know, fuck her though, because I'm not 466 00:32:48,568 --> 00:32:52,238 going to give up, I'm just... 467 00:32:54,507 --> 00:32:57,341 If I'm going to give up my dreams and my writing just to 468 00:32:57,343 --> 00:33:00,310 get a job and drop out of school and move out 469 00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:02,312 before it's time for me to. 470 00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:04,584 What, just 'cause she wants me to? 471 00:33:09,088 --> 00:33:11,991 I know how that'll wind up for me. 472 00:33:15,428 --> 00:33:17,962 I get swallowed up, I get swallowed up 473 00:33:17,964 --> 00:33:18,863 and I wouldn't make it. 474 00:33:18,865 --> 00:33:21,768 Not on my terms. 475 00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:31,377 I'm not stupid, I'm very smart. 476 00:33:33,079 --> 00:33:34,979 I'm smarter than her, or at least 477 00:33:34,981 --> 00:33:36,881 I'm more honest than she is. 478 00:33:36,883 --> 00:33:38,248 I have that. 479 00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:40,052 I have that in me. 480 00:34:14,020 --> 00:34:16,120 Another? 481 00:34:16,122 --> 00:34:18,157 Yes please. 482 00:34:32,939 --> 00:34:35,806 How's your girlfriend, Ian? 483 00:34:35,808 --> 00:34:37,307 She's okay.ú 484 00:34:37,309 --> 00:34:39,710 Run out of time for work, 485 00:34:39,712 --> 00:34:42,348 haven't really seen her lately. 486 00:35:21,621 --> 00:35:24,456 I hope I'm not weirding her out. 487 00:35:25,958 --> 00:35:27,927 She didn't seem to mind or anything, just... 488 00:35:31,297 --> 00:35:33,463 It's nice to know that she's out there, you know? 489 00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:35,966 Somebody like her that doesn't judge me 490 00:35:35,968 --> 00:35:37,737 when I'm being me. 491 00:35:42,408 --> 00:35:44,909 Kind of would like to hang out some more. 492 00:35:44,911 --> 00:35:47,980 Can I just ask her that? 493 00:35:56,656 --> 00:35:59,624 Who am I even talking to right now? 494 00:35:59,626 --> 00:36:02,795 It's me, yeah it's me, but 495 00:36:07,033 --> 00:36:08,565 I'm not really there, you're not real, 496 00:36:08,567 --> 00:36:12,071 you're not the ghost of me. 497 00:36:13,172 --> 00:36:15,507 You're not there, you just... 498 00:36:21,413 --> 00:36:25,017 On second thought, maybe that is the definition of me. 499 00:36:26,886 --> 00:36:28,988 She's there but she's not. 500 00:37:07,426 --> 00:37:09,059 Margaret! 501 00:37:09,061 --> 00:37:10,527 I'm recording this video for you since 502 00:37:10,529 --> 00:37:13,263 that is what the cool kids are doing these days. 503 00:37:13,265 --> 00:37:17,101 But for real, this is an important message 504 00:37:17,103 --> 00:37:19,804 I have a mission for you. 505 00:37:19,806 --> 00:37:21,605 Zing pow! 506 00:37:21,607 --> 00:37:24,909 This bottle of wine is full and look, there's more! 507 00:37:24,911 --> 00:37:28,047 Mags and Cass forever. 508 00:37:30,717 --> 00:37:32,049 Yes. 509 00:37:32,051 --> 00:37:34,118 I spent an impractical amount of time on this, 510 00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,421 but I think that illustrates my commitment. 511 00:37:37,423 --> 00:37:39,189 How is that for visual aid, huh? 512 00:37:39,191 --> 00:37:42,092 A visual aid you can drink. 513 00:37:42,094 --> 00:37:45,896 Once you let me into your apartment, tonight. 514 00:37:45,898 --> 00:37:47,664 I don't expect anything from you. 515 00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:50,735 We both know that our love runs deeper than that. 516 00:37:50,737 --> 00:37:52,336 That it's pure. 517 00:37:52,338 --> 00:37:55,405 Pure even than the age-old tradition 518 00:37:55,407 --> 00:37:57,808 of imbibing on the grape in times of 519 00:37:57,810 --> 00:38:00,379 great personal upheaval. 520 00:38:02,348 --> 00:38:05,482 Are you still upheaved, my love? 521 00:38:05,484 --> 00:38:06,984 This is the question I must have answered 522 00:38:06,986 --> 00:38:09,153 if I am to sleep on this night. 523 00:38:09,155 --> 00:38:12,923 This is my quest on this noble Saturday. 524 00:38:12,925 --> 00:38:15,559 Don't deny me my quest 525 00:38:15,561 --> 00:38:17,962 I'll die of broken heart. 526 00:38:20,266 --> 00:38:23,267 Well maybe not, but I still wanna come over. 527 00:38:23,269 --> 00:38:28,040 * It's a need I can't explain 528 00:38:30,509 --> 00:38:32,011 Text me, woman. 529 00:38:35,447 --> 00:38:37,782 There's a voice in your head. 530 00:38:37,784 --> 00:38:39,083 You've been hearing a new voice in your head, 531 00:38:39,085 --> 00:38:40,617 but you want it though. 532 00:38:40,619 --> 00:38:41,752 I told you, it's not... 533 00:38:41,754 --> 00:38:43,988 Oh, I'm sorry. 534 00:38:43,990 --> 00:38:46,190 I was joking. 535 00:38:46,192 --> 00:38:47,858 I just don't think that it's... 536 00:38:47,860 --> 00:38:49,059 Oh, I was totally joking. 537 00:38:49,061 --> 00:38:51,161 I just don't think that it's funny. 538 00:38:51,163 --> 00:38:53,730 You told me that I can open up to you and then... 539 00:38:53,732 --> 00:38:54,498 Yeah, I'm sorry. 540 00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:57,870 You're right. 541 00:38:59,605 --> 00:39:01,207 I'm actually a little bit jealous. 542 00:39:02,975 --> 00:39:06,443 I know it's been hard, but it's like, 543 00:39:06,445 --> 00:39:08,881 I've been witnessing you change your life. 544 00:39:10,216 --> 00:39:12,549 I thought you were awesome before, but now... 545 00:39:12,551 --> 00:39:14,251 Don't try to flatter me just to make up 546 00:39:14,253 --> 00:39:16,288 for hurting me. 547 00:39:18,424 --> 00:39:19,491 What? 548 00:39:23,495 --> 00:39:24,361 What? 549 00:39:24,363 --> 00:39:25,998 Nothing. 550 00:39:28,234 --> 00:39:29,266 I'm sorry. 551 00:39:29,268 --> 00:39:30,868 I didn't mean to... 552 00:39:30,870 --> 00:39:34,038 Look, I told you you don't have to 553 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:36,173 do all of this, I know that I'm hard... 554 00:39:36,175 --> 00:39:37,541 No, stop. 555 00:39:37,543 --> 00:39:39,409 You're fine. 556 00:39:39,411 --> 00:39:41,778 I just have to get used to it, you know? 557 00:39:41,780 --> 00:39:43,780 It's new. 558 00:39:43,782 --> 00:39:45,515 It's not something that you have to get used to, 559 00:39:45,517 --> 00:39:47,317 it's me. 560 00:39:47,319 --> 00:39:48,352 Okay. 561 00:39:48,354 --> 00:39:50,254 Fine. 562 00:39:50,256 --> 00:39:51,956 But you are saying a lot of things 563 00:39:51,958 --> 00:39:55,725 you never said before and being a little more honest lately, 564 00:39:55,727 --> 00:39:57,261 which is fine with me. 565 00:39:57,263 --> 00:39:59,465 It's even refreshing. 566 00:40:03,135 --> 00:40:04,837 I wanna do it too. 567 00:40:08,307 --> 00:40:09,575 What? 568 00:40:11,277 --> 00:40:16,080 I don't know if it's because we're a little bit older, 569 00:40:16,082 --> 00:40:20,484 and maybe we're not spending enough time 570 00:40:20,486 --> 00:40:22,419 with each other, or... 571 00:40:53,652 --> 00:40:55,721 Hi. 572 00:40:57,456 --> 00:40:58,522 Sorry. 573 00:40:58,524 --> 00:41:00,524 You can come in. 574 00:41:00,526 --> 00:41:01,928 Thanks. 575 00:41:13,439 --> 00:41:14,338 Hi. 576 00:41:14,340 --> 00:41:15,439 Hi. 577 00:41:15,441 --> 00:41:17,309 I'm Cass. 578 00:41:19,545 --> 00:41:20,444 I'm sorry. 579 00:41:20,446 --> 00:41:21,311 What for? 580 00:41:21,313 --> 00:41:22,546 It's fine. 581 00:41:22,548 --> 00:41:24,917 I should have texted you first or something. 582 00:41:31,257 --> 00:41:33,390 Do you want some wine? 583 00:41:33,392 --> 00:41:34,925 I don't wanna interrupt your night. 584 00:41:34,927 --> 00:41:36,595 Oh, you're totally fine. 585 00:41:37,496 --> 00:41:38,562 Tell her. 586 00:41:38,564 --> 00:41:41,898 Of course, but do you drink? 587 00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:44,534 A little. 588 00:41:44,536 --> 00:41:46,703 I'm sorry, but I'm just trying to be responsible here, 589 00:41:46,705 --> 00:41:48,472 but are you old enough to drink? 590 00:41:48,474 --> 00:41:49,906 She's old enough. 591 00:41:49,908 --> 00:41:51,942 To answer for herself, you mean. 592 00:41:54,346 --> 00:41:56,515 Whatever you're comfortable with. 593 00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:07,724 I got in a fight with my mom. 594 00:42:07,726 --> 00:42:10,027 I'm sorry to hear that. 595 00:42:10,029 --> 00:42:11,795 She's just so fuckin' batshit. 596 00:42:11,797 --> 00:42:13,332 Word, I hear that. 597 00:42:19,071 --> 00:42:20,971 Oh. 598 00:42:20,973 --> 00:42:22,741 I just did that. 599 00:42:24,343 --> 00:42:25,509 Sorry. 600 00:42:25,511 --> 00:42:27,211 It's okay, I'm used to it. 601 00:42:27,213 --> 00:42:28,678 What I meant to say is... 602 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,117 I just really don't wanna talk about it right now. 603 00:42:33,352 --> 00:42:37,587 If you don't mind. 604 00:42:37,589 --> 00:42:39,056 I'm sorry I interrupted your night. 605 00:42:39,058 --> 00:42:40,826 It's totally okay. 606 00:42:42,428 --> 00:42:44,494 Let's talk about something else. 607 00:42:44,496 --> 00:42:46,032 How do you like the wine? 608 00:42:48,067 --> 00:42:49,566 It's really good, actually. 609 00:42:49,568 --> 00:42:50,700 Right? 610 00:42:50,702 --> 00:42:52,769 Marge says it's too tannic. 611 00:42:54,273 --> 00:42:55,839 I don't know what that means. 612 00:42:55,841 --> 00:42:57,574 Nah, that's okay. 613 00:42:57,576 --> 00:42:59,243 Neither does she. 614 00:43:02,448 --> 00:43:03,947 Zelda's your dog, right? 615 00:43:03,949 --> 00:43:06,216 Oh, that's right you met her. 616 00:43:06,218 --> 00:43:07,384 You watched her crap. 617 00:43:15,161 --> 00:43:17,227 She's sweet, right? 618 00:43:17,229 --> 00:43:19,998 Yeah, yeah, she's sweet. 619 00:43:35,047 --> 00:43:37,947 I will definitely text you first next time. 620 00:43:37,949 --> 00:43:40,250 Sounds good. 621 00:43:40,252 --> 00:43:42,952 I would have told you to come over anyway. 622 00:43:42,954 --> 00:43:44,556 I know. 623 00:43:46,458 --> 00:43:48,127 Are you 624 00:43:49,628 --> 00:43:52,298 going to be walking into anything? 625 00:43:53,965 --> 00:43:55,467 Usually. 626 00:44:06,712 --> 00:44:08,278 I like her a lot. 627 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:09,846 Yeah. 628 00:44:09,848 --> 00:44:11,581 She's tough. 629 00:44:11,583 --> 00:44:13,385 Like us. 630 00:44:16,088 --> 00:44:17,389 As much as, 631 00:44:19,358 --> 00:44:23,727 as far as I've come 632 00:44:23,729 --> 00:44:25,895 since I first started coming here, it's always 633 00:44:25,897 --> 00:44:29,399 just been me, you know? 634 00:44:29,401 --> 00:44:32,838 Out there, in the world, not in here. 635 00:44:35,974 --> 00:44:39,376 And it's weird because I know that she came to me 636 00:44:39,378 --> 00:44:42,348 because she feels safe, and that 637 00:44:44,616 --> 00:44:46,152 that feels nice. 638 00:44:47,586 --> 00:44:48,920 Feels good. 639 00:44:51,190 --> 00:44:53,392 We seem to share a common trauma. 640 00:44:58,897 --> 00:45:03,635 But still there's this voice, that old voice in my head 641 00:45:04,870 --> 00:45:08,006 telling me, protect yourself. 642 00:45:09,475 --> 00:45:10,874 Don't give too much of yourself. 643 00:45:10,876 --> 00:45:13,111 Don't take responsibility for others. 644 00:45:14,546 --> 00:45:18,315 But at the same time I don't feel like I should listen 645 00:45:18,317 --> 00:45:20,886 to that voice anymore. 646 00:45:23,389 --> 00:45:25,324 Why, why is that? 647 00:45:26,958 --> 00:45:29,659 Because it's wrong. 648 00:45:29,661 --> 00:45:33,863 Do you feel it's wrong. 649 00:45:33,865 --> 00:45:35,665 I just said that. 650 00:45:35,667 --> 00:45:38,268 Well yes, but, 651 00:45:38,270 --> 00:45:40,939 to me it appears you're 652 00:45:42,341 --> 00:45:43,540 unsure. 653 00:45:43,542 --> 00:45:45,444 I'm not unsure. 654 00:45:46,612 --> 00:45:48,247 I'm just waiting for confirmation. 655 00:45:51,850 --> 00:45:53,819 Which you're not going to give me. 656 00:45:55,887 --> 00:45:59,423 Well, even if I felt it was the right thing to do, 657 00:45:59,425 --> 00:46:02,626 I'm still, I'm still not completely clear 658 00:46:02,628 --> 00:46:05,797 on what it is you've decided. 659 00:46:09,501 --> 00:46:11,403 Because I'm meandering? 660 00:46:13,138 --> 00:46:14,740 Are you surprised? 661 00:46:23,081 --> 00:46:26,385 I don't feel like I should listen to that voice this time 662 00:46:27,619 --> 00:46:30,155 because, 663 00:46:33,124 --> 00:46:34,993 it's different. 664 00:46:36,194 --> 00:46:39,062 She's not asking anything of me, 665 00:46:39,064 --> 00:46:42,334 and I'm not offering anything that I can't give. 666 00:46:45,637 --> 00:46:47,273 And I like her. 667 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:51,775 Well from what you've told me, 668 00:46:51,777 --> 00:46:54,680 seems as if there's plenty to like so far. 669 00:46:55,747 --> 00:46:58,149 Cass says she's tough like us, 670 00:47:02,588 --> 00:47:05,824 and I like the idea, you know, of women helping women. 671 00:47:09,227 --> 00:47:11,497 Plus everybody needs a place to go. 672 00:47:14,866 --> 00:47:16,366 How about you? 673 00:47:16,368 --> 00:47:18,904 You have a place to go? 674 00:47:21,006 --> 00:47:23,139 I just said it, here. 675 00:47:23,141 --> 00:47:26,278 I mean, in your day-to-day life. 676 00:47:28,113 --> 00:47:32,616 Is there, is there somewhere or someone 677 00:47:32,618 --> 00:47:35,086 you can go to when you need help? 678 00:47:38,390 --> 00:47:40,559 I have Cass, I guess. 679 00:47:42,561 --> 00:47:43,762 Okay. 680 00:47:51,970 --> 00:47:53,670 What? 681 00:47:53,672 --> 00:47:56,773 Well I'm just wondering if you think 682 00:47:56,775 --> 00:47:59,175 maybe this new friendship might have something 683 00:47:59,177 --> 00:48:01,647 to offer you, as well. 684 00:48:04,716 --> 00:48:08,217 I would think so. 685 00:48:08,219 --> 00:48:10,119 Can you identify how? 686 00:48:10,121 --> 00:48:12,458 Or what it is that you might get? 687 00:48:17,463 --> 00:48:19,731 What I could get out of friendship? 688 00:48:29,908 --> 00:48:31,276 Hi Cass. 689 00:48:33,912 --> 00:48:35,547 You're super-bored. 690 00:48:37,783 --> 00:48:42,051 And a little bit lonely, so here you are 691 00:48:42,053 --> 00:48:44,523 copying your friend's weird idea. 692 00:48:47,993 --> 00:48:50,195 I don't really get it. 693 00:48:51,663 --> 00:48:54,332 I guess we're supposed to talk about our feelings. 694 00:48:58,336 --> 00:49:00,003 Does hungry count? 695 00:49:02,574 --> 00:49:04,874 I don't even know why I'm laughing, 696 00:49:04,876 --> 00:49:07,379 it's not funny, but I... 697 00:49:12,083 --> 00:49:15,952 It's just, it's so beautiful out today, 698 00:49:15,954 --> 00:49:20,892 and I feel open. 699 00:49:24,896 --> 00:49:27,132 You know, like there's not anything to worry about. 700 00:49:28,534 --> 00:49:31,202 At least not now, not in this moment. 701 00:49:33,672 --> 00:49:36,942 And yeah, I want that. 702 00:49:39,344 --> 00:49:40,946 I want that to last. 703 00:49:45,817 --> 00:49:48,084 I'm gonna go out. 704 00:49:48,086 --> 00:49:51,421 I'm gonna go out and 705 00:49:51,423 --> 00:49:54,524 just go to the cafe and have some lunch 706 00:49:54,526 --> 00:49:56,828 and be lazy. 707 00:50:11,309 --> 00:50:15,581 I'm glad it works for Marge. 708 00:50:16,915 --> 00:50:19,117 She seems to be doing really well these days. 709 00:50:20,118 --> 00:50:21,587 She's like, stable. 710 00:50:22,821 --> 00:50:25,489 She's always been stable on the surface, 711 00:50:25,491 --> 00:50:27,993 but not like this. 712 00:50:29,761 --> 00:50:31,229 I get it. 713 00:50:32,531 --> 00:50:34,900 She's showing up for herself more. 714 00:50:39,538 --> 00:50:41,406 I miss her a little bit. 715 00:50:43,174 --> 00:50:45,276 She still hasn't been around as much. 716 00:50:46,878 --> 00:50:50,046 At the same time, I'm starting to feel closer to her 717 00:50:50,048 --> 00:50:52,083 when I do see her. 718 00:50:53,218 --> 00:50:54,450 It's got me thinking a little bit, 719 00:50:54,452 --> 00:50:56,820 maybe I should talk to someone too. 720 00:50:56,822 --> 00:50:59,424 I'm fine, but you know... 721 00:51:21,146 --> 00:51:25,350 I guess I'm starting to understand how this works. 722 00:51:27,853 --> 00:51:29,318 It's a little devious. 723 00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,356 Margaret would come up with something like this. 724 00:51:34,993 --> 00:51:36,828 I have to keep looking at myself. 725 00:51:41,032 --> 00:51:43,833 You know, when I don't talk, 726 00:51:43,835 --> 00:51:47,003 it keeps listening, so I have to 727 00:51:47,005 --> 00:51:50,642 keep talking 728 00:51:51,643 --> 00:51:53,211 to myself. 729 00:51:54,279 --> 00:51:55,881 Touche, Marge. 730 00:52:08,393 --> 00:52:12,631 I just feel, 731 00:52:16,267 --> 00:52:18,236 I feel 732 00:52:20,572 --> 00:52:24,075 really overwhelmed sometimes. 733 00:52:25,611 --> 00:52:28,146 Everything I do, 734 00:52:29,414 --> 00:52:30,546 I just do it. 735 00:52:30,548 --> 00:52:32,383 I'm all doer. 736 00:52:33,685 --> 00:52:35,284 I get up and I go, 737 00:52:35,286 --> 00:52:37,821 and I go out 738 00:52:37,823 --> 00:52:40,790 and I hang out 739 00:52:40,792 --> 00:52:42,726 and I stay out, 740 00:52:42,728 --> 00:52:44,429 but... 741 00:52:45,897 --> 00:52:48,898 Now I know I have plenty to be happy about, 742 00:52:48,900 --> 00:52:53,036 and I just feel, fuck, even right now 743 00:52:53,038 --> 00:52:55,071 I know I can just turn this off and go find 744 00:52:55,073 --> 00:52:57,508 something to make me happy, but 745 00:53:02,948 --> 00:53:04,650 Is that happy? 746 00:53:19,898 --> 00:53:21,865 Every fucking time I say something 747 00:53:21,867 --> 00:53:24,167 about anything that I'm happy about, 748 00:53:24,169 --> 00:53:27,538 she fucking shits all over it. 749 00:53:30,876 --> 00:53:33,109 Doesn't matter what I do. 750 00:53:33,111 --> 00:53:35,313 Doesn't matter what I fucking say. 751 00:53:38,483 --> 00:53:40,919 I feel like I can burst 752 00:53:44,089 --> 00:53:45,791 sometimes. 753 00:53:47,058 --> 00:53:48,794 I feel like I could 754 00:53:49,961 --> 00:53:53,131 destroy something, or someone. 755 00:53:57,435 --> 00:53:59,869 I noticed a few men have been on the wrong end 756 00:53:59,871 --> 00:54:01,973 of that compulsion. 757 00:54:06,011 --> 00:54:07,612 Fuck. 758 00:54:54,926 --> 00:54:56,525 She didn't even let me finish lettin' me tell her 759 00:54:56,527 --> 00:54:58,261 how many people actually read the magazine 760 00:54:58,263 --> 00:54:59,796 before she skipped to the end and just 761 00:54:59,798 --> 00:55:02,398 started in on me. 762 00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:04,868 I don't know about that creative writing thing, 763 00:55:04,870 --> 00:55:07,737 because that ain't no real job. 764 00:55:07,739 --> 00:55:09,272 You ain't gonna make no real money, 765 00:55:09,274 --> 00:55:12,377 and I ain't payin' all this money for you to stay poor. 766 00:55:14,245 --> 00:55:16,147 Parents worry. 767 00:55:19,584 --> 00:55:21,751 She isn't even paying all of my tuition, 768 00:55:21,753 --> 00:55:24,189 I earn that shit through scholarships. 769 00:55:34,299 --> 00:55:37,702 Now I'm just continuing this by yelling at you. 770 00:55:38,636 --> 00:55:40,336 You're not yelling at me. 771 00:55:40,338 --> 00:55:42,207 Not like that at least. 772 00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:45,944 Besides, even if you were, I'm pretty used to it. 773 00:55:52,350 --> 00:55:56,685 I figured you would understand. 774 00:55:56,687 --> 00:55:59,157 Still doesn't make it right though. 775 00:56:06,664 --> 00:56:09,267 What in the world are you smiling about? 776 00:56:10,701 --> 00:56:12,137 I don't know. 777 00:56:13,304 --> 00:56:16,274 Maybe it's just because I'm not sad right now? 778 00:56:17,508 --> 00:56:19,410 Not tonight, at least. 779 00:56:22,814 --> 00:56:24,180 I don't wanna make you think 780 00:56:24,182 --> 00:56:26,449 I don't sympathize with you. 781 00:56:26,451 --> 00:56:30,088 No, I, I don't wanna be sad either. 782 00:56:32,223 --> 00:56:33,990 I'm angry, you know, 783 00:56:33,992 --> 00:56:36,092 but maybe underneath that I'm a little sad, 784 00:56:36,094 --> 00:56:38,828 but I don't know, right now I just don't feel it. 785 00:56:38,830 --> 00:56:42,298 Good, then it's settled. 786 00:56:42,300 --> 00:56:44,435 No sadness. 787 00:56:45,570 --> 00:56:46,804 Okay. 788 00:56:55,013 --> 00:56:56,915 You wanna go outside for a little bit? 789 00:56:58,716 --> 00:57:00,151 Outside where? 790 00:57:04,389 --> 00:57:06,022 Can I ask you something? 791 00:57:06,024 --> 00:57:07,625 Yeah. 792 00:57:12,864 --> 00:57:15,133 Are you safe? 793 00:57:17,035 --> 00:57:18,703 Yeah. 794 00:57:20,071 --> 00:57:21,772 Are you sure? 795 00:57:23,975 --> 00:57:25,108 I just felt like I should ask. 796 00:57:25,110 --> 00:57:27,012 She doesn't hit me anymore. 797 00:57:35,753 --> 00:57:37,688 She's too scared of me. 798 00:57:44,829 --> 00:57:47,198 She created a monster, you know. 799 00:57:48,199 --> 00:57:49,598 I'm 10 times angrier than she is 800 00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:51,436 and I'd give it back to her. 801 00:58:04,015 --> 00:58:06,884 Couple years ago was the last time she hit me. 802 00:58:11,322 --> 00:58:14,692 She started on me for some bullshit reason or another, 803 00:58:17,228 --> 00:58:18,894 and I don't know something was different that time. 804 00:58:18,896 --> 00:58:20,198 She... 805 00:58:22,233 --> 00:58:23,901 I just didn't back down. 806 00:58:27,738 --> 00:58:30,806 The first time in my life I didn't back down, 807 00:58:30,808 --> 00:58:32,777 at least from her. 808 00:58:38,916 --> 00:58:41,117 Something in my just snapped, you know? 809 00:58:41,119 --> 00:58:44,122 Just changed. 810 00:58:45,223 --> 00:58:46,322 That ever happen to you? 811 00:58:46,324 --> 00:58:47,525 Yeah. 812 00:58:54,099 --> 00:58:55,398 I wrote something about it, 813 00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:57,668 like a metaphor. 814 00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:05,874 I don't really like it and it's not nearly good enough, 815 00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:08,077 but I'll tell it to you if you want to hear it. 816 00:59:08,079 --> 00:59:09,614 Okay. 817 00:59:18,956 --> 00:59:21,557 You know how you have that 818 00:59:21,559 --> 00:59:25,294 that hard, bendable plastic, 819 00:59:25,296 --> 00:59:29,832 like one of those little cheap black combs 820 00:59:29,834 --> 00:59:32,035 that's not gone through the unbreakable, 821 00:59:32,037 --> 00:59:34,039 so they're actually breakable? 822 00:59:39,577 --> 00:59:40,943 What if you have something like that 823 00:59:40,945 --> 00:59:42,747 and you just bend it? 824 00:59:44,715 --> 00:59:46,817 You bend it just 'cause it could bend? 825 00:59:53,691 --> 00:59:55,958 And you just keep bending it 'cause you can, 826 00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:59,764 just back and forth, back and forth. 827 01:00:00,998 --> 01:00:02,465 Maybe you start to realize when you put 828 01:00:02,467 --> 01:00:04,133 a little more pressure on it, 829 01:00:04,135 --> 01:00:07,370 it becomes that weird greyish-white color 830 01:00:07,372 --> 01:00:09,040 and it weakens. 831 01:00:15,046 --> 01:00:16,379 But you don't stop, right? 832 01:00:16,381 --> 01:00:19,717 You keep bending it just 'cause you can. 833 01:00:23,254 --> 01:00:25,088 And you keep goin', you just go back and forth, 834 01:00:25,090 --> 01:00:28,157 back and forth, and of course 835 01:00:28,159 --> 01:00:31,527 you think yeah, this is gonna snap, 836 01:00:31,529 --> 01:00:34,499 it's gotta break, right? 837 01:00:38,269 --> 01:00:40,271 But then you hear that hard snapping. 838 01:00:48,479 --> 01:00:50,179 When you look down the inside isn't soft, 839 01:00:50,181 --> 01:00:52,181 it's like when you have two sharp pieces 840 01:00:52,183 --> 01:00:53,918 in your hand. 841 01:00:57,188 --> 01:00:58,789 Surprised though. 842 01:01:03,027 --> 01:01:05,296 That's how I felt. 843 01:01:06,697 --> 01:01:08,233 That's how I feel. 844 01:01:11,436 --> 01:01:14,505 And I'm just two broken pieces in her hand. 845 01:01:21,646 --> 01:01:24,380 She, she just got angrier and angrier 846 01:01:24,382 --> 01:01:26,551 and I didn't even say anything. 847 01:01:28,052 --> 01:01:30,421 She said the worst things that she's ever said. 848 01:01:35,826 --> 01:01:39,595 I didn't back down though. 849 01:01:39,597 --> 01:01:41,065 Mm-mm. 850 01:01:46,103 --> 01:01:48,371 She didn't put her hand on me either, 851 01:01:48,373 --> 01:01:52,408 'cause I don't know what it was, maybe it was 852 01:01:52,410 --> 01:01:54,812 just something I said. 853 01:01:56,981 --> 01:01:58,281 I think that's what it was. 854 01:01:58,283 --> 01:02:01,486 I think I just looked at her and I said, 855 01:02:02,653 --> 01:02:04,687 you try to fucking hit me again, old lady. 856 01:02:04,689 --> 01:02:06,457 Just try it. 857 01:02:14,031 --> 01:02:18,969 She said the worst things she's ever said to me that night. 858 01:02:20,438 --> 01:02:22,440 She never put her hands on me again. 859 01:02:36,921 --> 01:02:37,853 Sorry. 860 01:02:37,855 --> 01:02:39,457 Don't be. 861 01:02:46,664 --> 01:02:48,866 I had a fight like that once, too. 862 01:02:52,237 --> 01:02:54,703 With my dad. 863 01:02:54,705 --> 01:02:55,671 Good for you. 864 01:02:55,673 --> 01:02:57,506 No. 865 01:02:57,508 --> 01:03:01,111 It wasn't, it was never good. 866 01:03:03,948 --> 01:03:05,350 For anybody. 867 01:03:09,954 --> 01:03:12,221 I see what you're saying, 868 01:03:12,223 --> 01:03:15,057 but I don't completely agree with you. 869 01:03:15,059 --> 01:03:17,326 There is something I could do. 870 01:03:17,328 --> 01:03:18,527 I can be there for you, 871 01:03:18,529 --> 01:03:20,298 just like you're always there for me. 872 01:03:21,666 --> 01:03:25,135 Probably do a better job with that sort of stuff. 873 01:03:26,103 --> 01:03:28,404 I know we can. 874 01:03:28,406 --> 01:03:31,809 And I think we should. 875 01:03:33,978 --> 01:03:35,713 What are you scheming? 876 01:03:37,081 --> 01:03:38,981 What makes you think I'm scheming? 877 01:03:38,983 --> 01:03:42,985 Don't play games with me, Cassandra. 878 01:03:42,987 --> 01:03:45,087 Okay, there is something 879 01:03:45,089 --> 01:03:47,358 I want to talk to you about. 880 01:03:48,493 --> 01:03:49,958 Are you okay? 881 01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:52,961 Oh yeah, no, I'm fine. 882 01:03:52,963 --> 01:03:55,030 I wanted to talk to you about my lease. 883 01:03:55,032 --> 01:03:57,165 Your lease, what about it? 884 01:03:57,167 --> 01:03:59,635 It's up in a little over a month, 885 01:03:59,637 --> 01:04:03,372 and I'm thinking of moving. 886 01:04:03,374 --> 01:04:05,908 Oh yeah? 887 01:04:05,910 --> 01:04:07,077 Yeah. 888 01:04:08,212 --> 01:04:10,279 Ugh my God, I totally wanted to 889 01:04:10,281 --> 01:04:13,516 talk to you about this in person. 890 01:04:13,518 --> 01:04:16,184 And I know you like living alone, 891 01:04:16,186 --> 01:04:19,655 but other best friends live with each other, Marge, 892 01:04:19,657 --> 01:04:21,957 it's not a crazy proposition. 893 01:04:21,959 --> 01:04:23,992 I know, I know. 894 01:04:23,994 --> 01:04:28,566 But, I thought that you liked living alone, too. 895 01:04:30,768 --> 01:04:33,736 Ah, it's losing its appeal. 896 01:04:33,738 --> 01:04:35,938 My whole lonely lifestyle is rapidly 897 01:04:35,940 --> 01:04:39,241 losing its appeal. 898 01:04:41,245 --> 01:04:43,111 It's not funny. 899 01:04:43,113 --> 01:04:45,213 I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you. 900 01:04:45,215 --> 01:04:47,850 You totally just laughed at me. 901 01:04:47,852 --> 01:04:50,085 Right in my face. 902 01:04:50,087 --> 01:04:52,254 If I had been recording this, I'd have proof. 903 01:04:52,256 --> 01:04:53,589 And who says I'm not? 904 01:04:53,591 --> 01:04:55,358 Okay, okay. 905 01:04:55,360 --> 01:04:56,659 I've stopped. 906 01:04:56,661 --> 01:04:59,328 Right. 907 01:04:59,330 --> 01:05:00,529 I'm serious, though. 908 01:05:00,531 --> 01:05:02,898 I wanna at least live closer to you. 909 01:05:02,900 --> 01:05:05,300 I miss you, boob. 910 01:05:05,302 --> 01:05:08,170 Living closer would be fucking awesome. 911 01:05:08,172 --> 01:05:09,572 Right? 912 01:05:09,574 --> 01:05:10,806 That doesn't mean you're off the hook 913 01:05:10,808 --> 01:05:12,908 with the roommate proposal. 914 01:05:12,910 --> 01:05:14,810 I know you probably need some time, 915 01:05:14,812 --> 01:05:18,146 but I think that should be option 1A. 916 01:05:18,148 --> 01:05:19,882 What about the commute? 917 01:05:19,884 --> 01:05:22,518 I'll be saving a shitton in rent, Mags. 918 01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:24,286 I'll just buy some paperbacks for the train. 919 01:05:24,288 --> 01:05:25,554 Screw that. 920 01:05:25,556 --> 01:05:27,923 I'll steal 'em from you. 921 01:05:27,925 --> 01:05:29,425 They'd be given freely. 922 01:05:31,962 --> 01:05:33,462 So you'd be cool with at least that? 923 01:05:33,464 --> 01:05:34,797 Me moving to your hood? 924 01:05:34,799 --> 01:05:36,465 More than cool with it. 925 01:05:36,467 --> 01:05:38,767 And I don't own the neighborhood, so. 926 01:05:38,769 --> 01:05:40,002 Yeah, I can live wherever I want. 927 01:05:40,004 --> 01:05:41,837 I don't need your fucking permission. 928 01:05:43,173 --> 01:05:44,673 I am serious about this. 929 01:05:44,675 --> 01:05:46,642 I know. 930 01:05:46,644 --> 01:05:48,879 I wanna just 931 01:05:50,715 --> 01:05:55,052 get my shit together and like be. 932 01:05:57,354 --> 01:05:59,388 I'm gonna read all your smarty pants books, 933 01:05:59,390 --> 01:06:02,725 at least half way, and 934 01:06:02,727 --> 01:06:06,829 I'm gonna follow you to yoga or meditation or whatever, 935 01:06:06,831 --> 01:06:08,897 and I'm gonna start buying organic and shit. 936 01:06:08,899 --> 01:06:10,733 I'm gonna be your happy hippy shadow. 937 01:06:12,269 --> 01:06:13,936 Oh, hippies don't cast shadows. 938 01:06:13,938 --> 01:06:15,971 They're like vampires? 939 01:06:15,973 --> 01:06:17,706 Vampires cast shadows, Cass, 940 01:06:17,708 --> 01:06:18,907 they don't have reflections. 941 01:06:18,909 --> 01:06:23,278 Oh, but would a vampire shadow 942 01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:25,848 be seen in a mirror? 943 01:06:25,850 --> 01:06:28,517 And what about vampire hippies? 944 01:06:28,519 --> 01:06:30,853 What do they eat? 945 01:06:30,855 --> 01:06:32,621 Beets? 946 01:06:32,623 --> 01:06:35,524 That makes no sense, Margaret. 947 01:06:35,526 --> 01:06:37,259 Yes it does. 948 01:06:38,763 --> 01:06:40,596 Soon we're going to be able to be ridiculous in person. 949 01:06:40,598 --> 01:06:42,900 It's going to be great. 950 01:07:03,488 --> 01:07:05,490 It's okay, let me take this. 951 01:07:08,292 --> 01:07:09,894 I'm just gonna put it down over here. 952 01:07:11,929 --> 01:07:13,261 It's okay. 953 01:07:13,263 --> 01:07:14,129 Sorry. 954 01:07:14,131 --> 01:07:16,398 It's okay. 955 01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:18,967 It's gonna be okay. 956 01:07:18,969 --> 01:07:20,769 You're gonna be okay. 957 01:07:33,818 --> 01:07:35,252 It's still hot. 958 01:07:43,894 --> 01:07:48,899 Do you, do you want me to call anybody? 959 01:07:52,002 --> 01:07:53,370 I did. 960 01:07:56,040 --> 01:07:57,842 I mean anybody else? 961 01:07:59,409 --> 01:08:00,811 Like who? 962 01:08:04,949 --> 01:08:06,651 Like the police? 963 01:08:07,785 --> 01:08:09,086 Whoever. 964 01:08:13,057 --> 01:08:14,625 There's no one to call. 965 01:08:18,162 --> 01:08:19,830 Except for my brother, 966 01:08:21,398 --> 01:08:23,467 but that's why I can't call the police. 967 01:08:27,171 --> 01:08:30,706 I'm sorry, I don't understand. 968 01:08:30,708 --> 01:08:33,010 She gives him money. 969 01:08:35,746 --> 01:08:39,950 He's a fuck-up, but he needs it. 970 01:08:41,185 --> 01:08:43,018 She would cut him off just to get to me, 971 01:08:43,020 --> 01:08:44,755 and I can't do that to him, 972 01:08:46,290 --> 01:08:49,524 and I can't fuck with her just to get to him, 973 01:08:49,526 --> 01:08:51,562 I have to help him instead. 974 01:08:53,998 --> 01:08:55,764 That's really not your responsibility. 975 01:08:55,766 --> 01:08:59,269 And it's not yours, either. 976 01:09:01,739 --> 01:09:02,771 I'm sorry. 977 01:09:02,773 --> 01:09:05,009 No, you're right, I get it. 978 01:09:06,076 --> 01:09:07,544 It's complicated. 979 01:09:10,748 --> 01:09:12,850 I'm sorry that I had nowhere else to go to. 980 01:09:14,218 --> 01:09:15,485 It's fine. 981 01:09:16,721 --> 01:09:19,955 Why is it fine? 982 01:09:19,957 --> 01:09:21,389 Why are you being so nice to me? 983 01:09:21,391 --> 01:09:22,591 What, do you just feel so sorry 984 01:09:22,593 --> 01:09:24,862 for the poor little black girl? 985 01:09:48,819 --> 01:09:50,554 The tea smells good. 986 01:09:54,491 --> 01:09:55,924 It is good. 987 01:09:55,926 --> 01:09:58,126 It's probably cool enough to drink right now. 988 01:09:58,128 --> 01:10:00,162 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, no it's not, it's not. 989 01:10:00,164 --> 01:10:01,563 It's not cool enough. 990 01:10:01,565 --> 01:10:02,464 I'll just leave it there. 991 01:10:02,466 --> 01:10:03,431 Yeah. 992 01:10:03,433 --> 01:10:04,867 We'll wait. 993 01:10:04,869 --> 01:10:06,170 Yeah. 994 01:10:26,056 --> 01:10:27,656 This what I got to look forward to? 995 01:10:27,658 --> 01:10:29,324 Huh, unfortunately. 996 01:10:29,326 --> 01:10:32,460 Um, there is stuff to make sandwiches in the fridge, 997 01:10:32,462 --> 01:10:35,632 and feel free to take whatever you want, okay? 998 01:10:40,470 --> 01:10:44,072 Also, if you have any trouble like finding anything 999 01:10:44,074 --> 01:10:47,642 or if you wanna talk, just text me, okay? 1000 01:10:47,644 --> 01:10:49,644 Actually, I'll just call you later. 1001 01:10:49,646 --> 01:10:51,146 You don't have to do that, okay. 1002 01:10:51,148 --> 01:10:53,215 I know, I know, I just don't have any dinner food, 1003 01:10:53,217 --> 01:10:55,718 so we'll talk about dinner, all right? 1004 01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:56,821 Okay, bye. 1005 01:11:17,207 --> 01:11:19,074 This was a good call. 1006 01:11:19,076 --> 01:11:21,176 Yeah, I thought something dimple would be good. 1007 01:11:21,178 --> 01:11:24,146 Mm, how much do I owe you for everything? 1008 01:11:24,148 --> 01:11:25,513 No. 1009 01:11:25,515 --> 01:11:28,719 No, really, how much do I owe you? 1010 01:11:31,922 --> 01:11:34,156 Look, I really don't have anywhere else to go. 1011 01:11:34,158 --> 01:11:35,357 I know. 1012 01:11:35,359 --> 01:11:36,825 I know that. 1013 01:11:36,827 --> 01:11:38,660 And I really appreciate you letting me stay with you. 1014 01:11:38,662 --> 01:11:40,395 Vee. 1015 01:11:40,397 --> 01:11:42,530 Just let me finish. 1016 01:11:42,532 --> 01:11:44,068 Okay. 1017 01:11:45,035 --> 01:11:45,970 Sorry. 1018 01:11:47,071 --> 01:11:48,336 I just don't wanna crowd you 1019 01:11:48,338 --> 01:11:49,604 and I don't wanna overstay my welcome. 1020 01:11:49,606 --> 01:11:50,906 That's not why I was asking... 1021 01:11:50,908 --> 01:11:54,011 Just let me pay for food this time, bitch. 1022 01:11:57,748 --> 01:11:58,983 Okay. 1023 01:11:59,817 --> 01:12:00,818 Fine. 1024 01:12:10,327 --> 01:12:12,795 You dip your fries in barbecue? 1025 01:12:12,797 --> 01:12:13,996 You don't? 1026 01:12:13,998 --> 01:12:15,263 It's delicious. 1027 01:12:15,265 --> 01:12:17,766 Barbecue's for meat. 1028 01:12:17,768 --> 01:12:20,437 You don't eat barbecue potato chips? 1029 01:12:34,985 --> 01:12:36,686 I'll just stick to ketchup. 1030 01:12:40,024 --> 01:12:41,356 Where are you goin'? 1031 01:12:41,358 --> 01:12:42,825 I'm leaving. 1032 01:12:42,827 --> 01:12:44,827 I hope you and your ketchup are very happy together. 1033 01:12:44,829 --> 01:12:47,762 What's wrong with you? 1034 01:12:47,764 --> 01:12:49,764 I'm just gettin' some water. 1035 01:12:49,766 --> 01:12:50,799 Do you want some water? 1036 01:12:50,801 --> 01:12:52,169 Sure. 1037 01:12:55,973 --> 01:12:57,607 I didn't know you were silly. 1038 01:13:02,612 --> 01:13:04,112 I don't care, Marge, I wanna see it. 1039 01:13:04,114 --> 01:13:05,313 Why? 1040 01:13:05,315 --> 01:13:06,248 Because it looks beautiful. 1041 01:13:06,250 --> 01:13:07,749 It's out of your price range, 1042 01:13:07,751 --> 01:13:09,251 and it's a three-bedroom. 1043 01:13:09,253 --> 01:13:11,519 And there are three of us here. 1044 01:13:11,521 --> 01:13:13,088 Woah, I can't. 1045 01:13:13,090 --> 01:13:15,090 I can't afford to move yet, I mean, 1046 01:13:15,092 --> 01:13:16,358 I will but I can't do that. 1047 01:13:16,360 --> 01:13:17,425 I'm gonna go look at it, and the two of you 1048 01:13:17,427 --> 01:13:20,697 can either come with me, or not. 1049 01:13:24,068 --> 01:13:25,502 Come on! 1050 01:13:26,904 --> 01:13:29,071 Square, uh let me double check on the details. 1051 01:13:29,073 --> 01:13:30,672 I'm so excited to show you this location. 1052 01:13:30,674 --> 01:13:33,141 Could be the start of a really cool girl's club. 1053 01:13:33,143 --> 01:13:36,113 I'm offering you a chance to get in on the ground level. 1054 01:13:37,982 --> 01:13:39,749 I like my place, Cass. 1055 01:13:44,221 --> 01:13:45,453 How much can you pay? 1056 01:13:45,455 --> 01:13:47,289 Cass. 1057 01:13:47,291 --> 01:13:49,291 Are you comfortable telling me? 1058 01:13:49,293 --> 01:13:51,526 I really like this place and I can afford a big portion 1059 01:13:51,528 --> 01:13:53,996 of the rent. 1060 01:13:53,998 --> 01:13:55,230 Honestly? 1061 01:13:55,232 --> 01:13:57,565 Of course. 1062 01:13:57,567 --> 01:13:59,703 I don't know, maybe 500 tops. 1063 01:14:03,073 --> 01:14:04,306 She may not want to live with you. 1064 01:14:04,308 --> 01:14:06,710 You may be putting her on the spot. 1065 01:14:07,844 --> 01:14:09,444 I'm sorry, am I doing that? 1066 01:14:09,446 --> 01:14:12,516 Not really. 1067 01:14:13,583 --> 01:14:15,984 I don't not wanna live with you. 1068 01:14:15,986 --> 01:14:17,319 Mhm? 1069 01:14:17,321 --> 01:14:19,756 But with both of you. 1070 01:14:22,459 --> 01:14:24,359 Oh my god, you two. 1071 01:14:28,565 --> 01:14:30,098 You can't even move for another month, 1072 01:14:30,100 --> 01:14:32,667 and this place'll probably be gone by then. 1073 01:14:32,669 --> 01:14:33,969 Three weeks. 1074 01:14:33,971 --> 01:14:35,470 They'll save it for us. 1075 01:14:35,472 --> 01:14:36,905 My credit score's bomb. 1076 01:14:36,907 --> 01:14:38,540 And even if I do have to pay extra, 1077 01:14:38,542 --> 01:14:41,245 it still represents savings in the long run. 1078 01:14:42,279 --> 01:14:44,079 If you join us. 1079 01:14:44,081 --> 01:14:46,281 I don't wanna pay an uneven share. 1080 01:14:46,283 --> 01:14:48,416 What if you get last pick of the bedrooms? 1081 01:14:48,418 --> 01:14:49,151 Cass. 1082 01:14:49,153 --> 01:14:50,385 What? 1083 01:14:50,387 --> 01:14:53,288 She shouldn't have to worry about that. 1084 01:14:53,290 --> 01:14:55,890 You need to start a new life. 1085 01:14:55,892 --> 01:14:57,292 Of course you should be comfortable 1086 01:14:57,294 --> 01:14:59,494 with how that gets done, but 1087 01:14:59,496 --> 01:15:01,331 let people help you. 1088 01:15:02,566 --> 01:15:04,168 I'm not usually good at helping people. 1089 01:15:05,936 --> 01:15:09,073 Ultimately, money is such a minor thing. 1090 01:15:09,974 --> 01:15:11,306 Says the person with money. 1091 01:15:11,308 --> 01:15:12,207 Mhm. 1092 01:15:12,209 --> 01:15:14,144 Rowr. 1093 01:15:16,713 --> 01:15:17,881 I... 1094 01:15:20,150 --> 01:15:23,451 I would consider signing if Mags does. 1095 01:15:23,453 --> 01:15:26,056 Ha! 1096 01:15:27,457 --> 01:15:29,226 Let's go this, Mags. 1097 01:15:30,494 --> 01:15:32,696 I am your destiny. 1098 01:15:33,897 --> 01:15:36,466 We are your destiny. 1099 01:15:45,175 --> 01:15:46,508 I don't know if I can break my lease. 1100 01:15:46,510 --> 01:15:47,442 Ah! 1101 01:15:47,444 --> 01:15:50,314 My dear, we will wait for you! 1102 01:15:51,515 --> 01:15:53,215 Hey lady! 1103 01:15:53,217 --> 01:15:54,716 Do you wanna keep talking on the phone 1104 01:15:54,718 --> 01:15:57,419 to a prospective client, or do you wanna make money 1105 01:15:57,421 --> 01:15:58,920 right now? 1106 01:15:58,922 --> 01:16:01,489 I feel like this could be really good for me. 1107 01:16:01,491 --> 01:16:03,891 For us. 1108 01:16:03,893 --> 01:16:06,361 I know I haven't been through what Vee is going through, 1109 01:16:06,363 --> 01:16:10,600 or what Marge has been through, and I'm thankful for that. 1110 01:16:11,635 --> 01:16:13,470 But maybe that means I can help. 1111 01:16:14,671 --> 01:16:16,471 Maybe when we live together, 1112 01:16:16,473 --> 01:16:19,874 if we talk with the time, everybody's got 1113 01:16:19,876 --> 01:16:21,643 their own shit to deal with. 1114 01:16:21,645 --> 01:16:25,147 I'm not exactly the picture of happiness. 1115 01:16:25,149 --> 01:16:28,550 A reset will be good. 1116 01:16:28,552 --> 01:16:31,286 Why wouldn't I wanna live with my best friend? 1117 01:16:31,288 --> 01:16:33,521 And the more I get to know Vee, the more I like her. 1118 01:16:33,523 --> 01:16:36,291 She's really fucking smart, and she's got a smart ass, 1119 01:16:36,293 --> 01:16:38,393 which is the best kind of ass to have, 1120 01:16:38,395 --> 01:16:40,630 which makes her my kind of roommate. 1121 01:16:42,632 --> 01:16:45,167 I hope Girl's Club doesn't turn into book club though. 1122 01:16:45,169 --> 01:16:46,768 It might with those two 1123 01:16:46,770 --> 01:16:48,203 I could do wine and books. 1124 01:16:48,205 --> 01:16:49,971 That could be my contribution. 1125 01:16:49,973 --> 01:16:52,576 The wine. 1126 01:16:53,910 --> 01:16:55,477 I'm still afraid, yeah, 1127 01:16:55,479 --> 01:16:59,181 but I know it's gonna be 1128 01:16:59,183 --> 01:17:00,882 a long road, and that it's gonna take 1129 01:17:00,884 --> 01:17:02,850 more than change to help me, 1130 01:17:02,852 --> 01:17:07,189 but I don't know, maybe Cass was right. 1131 01:17:07,191 --> 01:17:09,324 I just need something for me. 1132 01:17:09,326 --> 01:17:12,460 A new life for me. 1133 01:17:12,462 --> 01:17:14,964 Or at least something with potential. 1134 01:17:21,871 --> 01:17:23,471 That's all I know for now, 1135 01:17:23,473 --> 01:17:26,410 just that it won't be the same as it was before. 1136 01:17:28,212 --> 01:17:29,679 So. 1137 01:17:30,914 --> 01:17:32,414 Are we gonna talk about the groceries, 1138 01:17:32,416 --> 01:17:34,116 or? 1139 01:17:34,118 --> 01:17:36,718 Very funny, bitch. 1140 01:17:36,720 --> 01:17:37,919 Very funny. 1141 01:17:37,921 --> 01:17:40,056 We'll see how it goes. 1142 01:17:41,558 --> 01:17:43,491 It might, 1143 01:17:43,493 --> 01:17:46,096 it will probably be good for me. 1144 01:17:47,964 --> 01:17:49,366 For all of us. 1145 01:17:51,201 --> 01:17:52,602 It's worth a shot. 1146 01:17:54,604 --> 01:17:56,070 It's something to do, 1147 01:17:56,072 --> 01:18:00,076 in addition to all the searching and the talking. 1148 01:18:05,782 --> 01:18:08,616 Do you know why I really said yes? 1149 01:18:08,618 --> 01:18:11,054 Why? 1150 01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:14,522 I'm not stupid. 1151 01:18:14,524 --> 01:18:16,391 I know Cass. 1152 01:18:16,393 --> 01:18:18,728 I knew something like this might happen. 1153 01:18:22,432 --> 01:18:24,100 The idea gave me hope. 1154 01:18:25,202 --> 01:18:26,670 You know? 1155 01:18:28,638 --> 01:18:29,771 Finally. 1156 01:18:29,773 --> 01:18:31,375 Some real hope. 1157 01:18:33,410 --> 01:18:35,111 Something to be thankful for. 1158 01:18:36,480 --> 01:18:40,917 I mean, two people who really get me, 1159 01:18:42,352 --> 01:18:45,553 two real people who will always be there for me, 1160 01:18:45,555 --> 01:18:47,023 no matter what. 1161 01:18:49,959 --> 01:18:51,293 I feel that trust. 1162 01:18:58,602 --> 01:18:59,901 How many times have I walked in here 1163 01:18:59,903 --> 01:19:02,103 with that kind of positivity?