Chris!
Would you keep it down?
- What the hell? - What?
Please keep your music down.
I swear, Shannon is going to leave me
with all this loud music you keep playing.
I'll keep it down.
Listen.
I know I said you could live here,
and you're my best friend,
but you're really affecting my life.
I get it.
You and your girl want space.
I'll just find someone's garage.
It's no big thing.
Listen. Shannon is not just any chick.
Don't be afraid to lose her, man.
And if you do, so what?
She'll be back.
You have a good thing going here.
Your grandmother left you her house.
She didn't really know how to decorate that well,
but that's why I'm here.
Just relax, dude. It's gonna be all right.
Chris, you'll never change.
This...
- Hello. - Hello.
Excuse me while I cough this up.
So...
- Shots. - Shots?
Let's do it.
- Do you want more? - Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Chris! What the fuck? Really?
- Andy. - Right now?
You know Shannon's coming home in, like, 15 minutes,
and she hates you,
and you're destroying our relationship.
Come on.
You know, when I said you could live here,
I didn't mean like this.
Andy, these are my friends.
Say hi.
- Hi. - Hi, Andy.
- We'll be done soon. - I've never seen your friends...
These friends before.
Yeah, well...
that doesn't make them any less friends.
- Okay? - How do you know them?
They're my friends, Andy.
- Get in the pool. - Get in the pool, man.
- Are you drunk? - Yes, I'm drunk.
Of course.
It's not an insult.
Don't you have work in the morning?
- Andy, come have fun with us. - Cindy. You can have Cindy over here.
Candy. Candy or Cindy?
You don't even know your friends' names, Chris.
- My name's Krissy. - How do you know what her name is?
My name's Krissy.
Whatever.
Candy's a lot different than Krissy, Chris.
She's... she's... She tastes like Candy.
- Oh, no. No. - Andy.
No, no, no, no, no.
Stop it, guys. I can't do this right now.
- Yes. - No, no, no.
Have some fun, Andy.
Get with the times, Andy.
Wow, this is nice.
Shannon's gonna be so mad at me.
Shannon's not here.
- You're not wasting... - Pouring Tequila.
I love you, too. I like you more.
- Got it. - Yeah.
What the fuck.
- What the fuck is this? - Oh, shit.
Strippers?
You, you, you, and you,
get the fuck out of here.
So sorry, guys.
Did you just... did you just apologize to them?
Yes.
Andy, I would expect better from you.
I can't believe this shit.
Shannon, I tried to get them out of here
- as soon as I... - Oh, really?
You... you mean like I just did?
No.
You let Chris run your fucking life,
and you always put him first before me.
I'd never be able to party in this house like he does.
I just can't fucking believe this.
I've had it, Andy. I'm not living in a house
that has strippers and hookers in it.
It's me or him.
Shannon, you know it's you.
- Of course it's you. - You know what?
It's too late, Andy. I can't take this anymore.
I'm done. I'm so fucking done.
- Come on, Shannon. - Don't touch me.
Why do you have to be such a bitch?
What the fuck?
Shannon? What the fuck?
Shannon, don't do this.
Don't go. Please don't do this to me right now.
Listen. I'll kick Chris out.
We can have this whole place together.
Please don't do this. Shannon.
Shannon, please.
I'm sorry, Andy.
Hey, buddy.
I heard you guys.
I'm sorry you lost her.
I process pain a little differently than you, but...
So I know I'm probably not much use.
Just go away, Chris.
I just wanna lay here
like an atom or a molecule.
I can't be anything else.
Spring will come.
All right.
I'll check in with you later.
The walls look good.
Yeah.
Your fucking painting is impeccable.
We live in hell now.
Literally.
I'll just order some food then.
I don't wanna do this.
Fuck you.
Gotta take a whiz, man.
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck, man?
You didn't take any of those, did you?
Did you take those?
- Did you... - No.
- Look at me.
Did you take those?
No, I didn't.
Okay. Good 'cause that's boner medication, bro.
You'd have had a boner for a long time.
Shit, man.
Come on. Come to my room.
Chris, I don't want to go to your room.
- Let's go. - I just wanna go to sleep.
I wanna show you something. Let's go. Come on.
- You're gonna like this. - Fine.
You're gonna like it. Trust me.
Fine.
Listen, man, I've been thinking about your situation
and I've got something to show you.
This, my friend, is the Doll.
Hot chicks. Hot Russian chicks.
This is what you do all day in here?
- Yeah. - Look at mail-order brides?
Yeah, sorta. They're like an escort or a pro ho.
Uh...
They come for a week,
and you get to try them out,
and it'll be fun.
And it'll make Shannon jealous.
- Really? - Yeah.
Hmm.
You know, chicks, dude,
they can't fucking handle when a guy upgrades
to a better model.
And this, my friend,
is a much better model.
Hmm.
You know what?
That's not a bad idea.
If she sees me with one of these girls,
she might come back.
Yeah, I wish I had that idea.
Okay. Let me look into it.
Yeah.
Watch your feet, motherfucker.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, she's hot, huh?
- She's definitely hot. - Yeah?
I would say so.
Uh, give me your card.
Why mine?
Because I don't have a bank account.
Come on.
Are we gonna really do this?
What kind of guys order escorts?
All guys order escorts.
Give me your card, idiot.
And I need your phone.
What else do you need?
Uh...
This'll be good for now.
Right. Here's the number.
Okay.
Hi, I'd like to order one of your girls...
That... Well... Yeah, no, the Dolls.
Okay.
Uh, for a week.
A week?
I'll pick her up.
Yeah, a week.
This guy... he's got a thick accent.
I can't understand what he says.
Great. Um...
I can just text you the information, right?
On the card?
Text me the address.
Fantastic. All right. Thanks.
Chris.
- What? - How much was she?
Just a second, dude.
You are almost complete.
Perfect.
Made from beautiful human parts.
We now have to retrieve your soul.
Now you can kill.
That's all she wrote, my friend.
Take your shit.
And we gotta get ready.
She's gonna be here tonight. Let's go.
Out. Dude, I gotta get ready, man. Come on.
A mail-order Russian.
Shannon?
Hello.
Please come in.
Andy?
Yes. Just give me a second.
Open up.
Dude, she's here.
And she's unreal. You have to see this.
- Showtime. - What?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my frickin' God.
We hit the jackpot.
- Mm-hmm. - Um, I'm Chris.
How are you?
I'm gonna get your bags.
Andy? Where are we gonna put her?
Um...
Attic?
Yeah, we can put her... we can put her in the attic.
- Right? Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, I guess.
- This way. - This way.
Uh, just step upstairs.
All the way up.
I'll catch you. Don't worry.
Do you need anything? Water?
Is the temperature all right?
Okay, so we'll see you in the morning?
Okay, then.
Uh...
All right, we'll see you in the morning.
Yeah.
Dude, I can't believe you put her in the attic.
It's classic, dude.
What's wrong with the attic?
Your grandmother's shit is up there,
covered in dust, dude.
You know I promised her I wouldn't move it.
She'll be all right.
I gotta go to bed.
Go to bed?
You wanna go to bed right now?
What do we do with her? What's the plan?
Dude, calm down.
Go take a shower and jerk off
and we'll deal with it in the morning.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
I'll go jerk off.
Fuck, what are you gonna do?
Oh, shit.
Natasha.
What are you doing in here?
Oh, are you okay?
Come on. Let's...
Let's get you out of here.
Let's get you to bed.
Come on.
Are you sure I can't get you anything to drink?
Water? Snacks?
You'll be all right,
get a good night's sleep here.
Hey, are you okay?
Chris told me that I should come over
and drop something off,
and I wanted to know if...
Is everything all right?
Miss?
This way, Natasha.
Put you back in bed.
Well, hello, good looking. I'm Ron.
I'm looking for Chris.
It's about one of my girls.
You see, Chris likes to order my girls,
but then he doesn't pay for them
'cause all of his credit cards get declined.
It's hurting my business.
Who do you work for?
Oh, let me guess. Guido.
Another dishonest little snake.
He owes me money also.
I tell you what.
Do me a favor.
If you run into Maritza,
and you will because she works here...
She shouldn't but she does.
If you run into her,
just say that I...
If she had stuck with me
and hadn't left,
she'd be making twice the money
she's making right now.
Please tell her. Okay?
Anyway, here.
Make sure Chris knows I gotta get a hold of him, okay?
Oh, for God sakes.
You don't even speak English.
Oh, that was a great waste of time.
Well, if any girls wanna get a hold of me...
and they should,
here. Okay? Keep it.
Ugh! Stop!
Please. Please.
Please.
Yeah, what's up?
There's something wrong with Natasha.
She isn't normal.
What are you talking about?
She did some weird things last night.
She's been here one night.
What are you talking about?
She got in the shower with me.
So that's a good thing, right?
With her clothes on.
She's foreign. Come on.
No, you're not listening to me.
I was sleeping last night,
and I woke up, and she was banging her head against the wall.
It's really weird.
She banged her what against the what?
Who's that?
It's only 7:00 in the morning.
It's probably the pool dude.
Oh, shit.
It's Shannon.
What the hell's she doing here?
Hey, Shannon.
Fuck you, Chris.
Um, look.
My mom's douchebag boyfriend is back
and I can't stand him.
He's drunk all the time
and he hits on me.
I need to stay here.
Look, I know things are weird between us,
and maybe I acted too hastily.
It's okay.
- You can stay here. - Come on, man.
Shut up, Chris.
Uh, Andy, I really need to take a shower.
Let's talk afterwards, okay?
Okay, I'll get your bags.
Okay, thank you.
And, Chris?
I really don't want any shit from you, okay?
I didn't say anything.
What are you smiling about?
Oh, shit.
- Yeah. - Oh, shit.
- Yeah, I, uh... - Okay.
Okay, okay.
We need to hide her
before Shannon gets out of the shower.
No, I think you should introduce them.
No, that is a terrible idea.
We're not doing that.
You can explain to your girlfriend
why you have a mail-order whore here.
No, I'm not doing that.
Oh, no?
- Uh... - Where should we put her?
I think the attic.
That wasn't a good idea.
She was walking around the attic all last night.
Let me think.
Okay, um...
Let's just do this. Let's just get her.
- You wanna take her? - Yeah, yeah, go for it.
- You wanna lead the way? - Lead the way, lead the way.
- So we're going this way. - Right this way, miss.
Okay.
Just right up this way.
Right this way.
Natasha?
Natasha, is there anything
that you'd like to do while we're gone?
Knit.
- What? - Knit?
- She wants to knit. - Oh.
Here.
Do you want anything to eat?
Uh, eggs? Coffee?
How do you take your coffee?
Black?
Black it is.
All right, let's go.
Wow, dude.
I told you she was weird, right?
It's just gotta be a language barrier
or something.
- Yeah, I know. - It's gotta be.
Fucking crazy.
She'll be okay up there, right?
No, she's... It's gotta be a language barrier
or something...
Shh.
What are you guys doing?
Oh, nothing. We were just talking.
Chris is going to make some eggs and coffee.
Weird. He never cooks.
He's going to culinary arts school.
Yeah, it's true.
Yeah, right. He just says that to stay here.
You know, I... I'm going to go take a nap.
I'm really tired, and we can talk later. Okay?
Sure, no problem. I've gotta go to work anyway.
Okay.
Sweet dreams.
Andy, I don't know why you let her treat you like that.
She's such a bitch.
Please stop calling my girlfriend a bitch.
You're a lost cause, man.
Listen, I gotta go to work now.
Can you hold down the fort while I'm gone?
Take care of Natasha. Check on Shannon.
Make sure she doesn't find her.
- Okay. - Got it, dude.
You got it?
I... I got it. Go to work.
- Yeah. - Okay.
Go to work. I got it.
Natasha.
Made you some eggs.
Oh, shit.
So much for the apron.
What are you doing?
Uh, I was just coming to check on you.
Andy told me to.
What are you doing up there?
Uh, sorting stuff.
Oh, okay. Well, I'm fine.
Good, I'm glad.
Are you okay?
You're sweating.
I was just making eggs.
Okay.
Uh...
I'm really sorry if I'm hard on you sometimes.
It's only to protect Andy, okay?
Okay.
Natasha. Sh...
Fuck.
Natasha, oh, my God.
Are you okay?
Uh, okay.
Okay, I'll... I'll check on you later, then.
All right?
Okay.
Shit, what time is it?
Hey.
Where's Chris?
I don't know. I haven't seen him all day.
Maybe in his room sleeping.
He hasn't been out all day?
What?
Chris, why are you sleeping?
Um...
I was tired. Um, I'm good.
Don't worry.
I'll take Natasha some food in an hour.
Dude, it's after dark now.
This is getting crazy. She's not an animal.
So we have to get rid of her, okay?
Shannon is in the next room watching a movie.
It's only a matter of time before she sees Natasha.
Dude, don't worry about it.
I'll call that number to come and get her, okay?
Smells good in here.
What are you cooking?
I don't know. I don't know what's cooking.
- Come sit. - Is Chris making something?
What you watching?
Um, I'm watching "Encounter." Have you seen it?
Oh, I've seen this movie.
This is where the couple goes to a creepy-ass haunted house,
and there's an old dude there
who scares the shit out of them,
and there's aliens at the end?
And... and I think I just gave it away.
Um, yeah.
I've seen it. It's scary.
I don't know why you like watching really scary movies.
Because I do like scary movies.
At night, too, and by yourself.
Okay.
How was work?
It was good.
Much better now.
- What the fuck? - What?
What's the matter?
I swear I saw something over there.
What was it?
Someone. A woman I think.
Listen, I'm sure it was nothing.
We both had a lot to drink today.
It's been a long day.
I'll put you to bed.
Come on. Let's go to bed.
Maybe you're right.
- Okay. - Yeah, let's go.
I know I saw something.
I'm sure it was nothing.
Where are you going?
I'll be right back.
No, don't leave.
I have to go check on something.
Please, Andy, can you just lay with me?
Okay.
Oh, God, you're such a whore. I love it.
Yeah, no, just... Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sound...
that sounds real good.
Just... just get over here, would you?
I-I... Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, just call me when you get here.
Okay. Bye.
Fuck, man.
Women.
I know I saw something.
Gross.
The fuck?
"The perfect human"?
What the fuck kind of shit is this?
Oh, my God.
Where are the knitting needles?
Harness the soul...
Administer the...
...soul.
What kind of fucking shit is this?
Shit.
Mm, this is so nice.
Mm, Stacy, I'm cold.
Come here, baby. I'll warm you up.
So sweet.
Mm.
What's wrong?
It's kind of creepy out here.
Do you wanna go?
No.
Let's go in the back of Chris' Mercedes.
Hmm. Okay.
Let's go.
Let's take this down.
Do you think we should go get Chris?
He'll find us eventually.
You're right. Let's fuck with him.
Oh, my God, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
Oh, my God!
Please, no. Please.
Please.
No. No!
Please.
Hey, baby.
- How do you do? - I'm good.
So, you called?
Did you need something?
I did.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
What did you need?
What do you think I need?
Do you need help?
I think you can guess.
- Um, yeah? - Yeah.
You are a naughty boy.
Mm. Dirty boy wanna take off his dirty shirt?
- Mm-hm. Yeah. - Huh?
- Yeah? Take it off. - Uh-huh.
Get on the bed.
- Do I have to punish you? - Uh, please.
- Yeah? Yeah? - Yeah, I've been bad.
Hmm? You a good boy or a bad boy?
I think you're a good boy.
You know what good boys get?
Uh, I don't know. What?
You don't know what good boys get?
I hope...
- Mm, hope it's... - I don't wanna jinx it.
Oh, um, do you have a bathroom?
Yeah.
Take your pants off.
- Okay. - Take your pants off.
All right.
What the fuck?
Are you okay?
Leslie, where are you?
Oh, shit.
Leslie.
What the hell are you...
Is that you?
What the hell are you doing up here?
Oh, my God.
What the fuck, man?
What the fuck?
- Hey. - What's up? What the...
What the fuck's the matter? What's going on?
- Oh, fuck. - What's happening?
Natasha killed Leslie, man.
What?
She...
- Leslie's in the attic. - What?
What the fuck are you talking about?
I just found her in the attic, dude, stabbed.
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Okay. Chris.
We gotta call 911.
We gotta fucking call 911 right now.
We gotta... we gotta fucking report this right now.
- We gotta fucking call... - Dude, we can't.
I have a record, dude.
I could go to jail, man, with my record.
Well, call the website.
Call the fucking number you got off the website.
You got that number from the website, right?
You saved it on your phone, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Call the fucking number right now.
- I'm calling. - Oh, come on.
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit.
Hi, yes?
Um, we... we got a girl from you,
and, um, she's...
Something happened and we need you to come and get her now.
Do you understand?
Come and get her now.
- Now! - Fucking pick her up now.
- What did they say? - They're coming.
- How long's it gonna take? - He's... They're just coming.
That's all they said?
- That's all they said. - Oh, fuck.
- Chris, what about Shannon? - What?
What the fuck?
- What the fuck? Fucking Shannon. - Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
- It's locked. - Holy shit.
Try the other fucking door! Shannon!
It's fucking locked. It's fucking locked.
What the fuck are we gonna do right now?
Oh, shit.
We're fucked, Chris.
- We're so fucked right now. - Call that number back.
Call the fucking number back right now.
Call the number back.
- I'm not calling any... - Call the number back.
We gotta take care of this ourselves.
Who else can we fucking call right now?
There's gotta be someone fucking else we can call.
Open up. It's me, Shannon.
Hurry!
Stand back.
What's going on?
Andy, someone's in the attic.
I know it was the woman I saw the other night. I wasn't crazy.
Why would you go in there?
Because I kept hearing strange noises,
so I went there to see if that's where they were coming from.
But that's not the point. I found these papers,
and will you please tell me what the fuck this is?
Oh, my God.
This is a pentagram.
It says, "Shannon, Chris, Andy."
It's... it's a picture of Natasha,
the Doll.
Oh, shit. Chris, look at this.
Oh, my God.
This is my fault, man.
I made you do it.
What did you guys do?
Why is there a woman in the attic?
He ordered... he ordered her for me online.
I thought I could get you back.
You're joking, right?
No, no, no.
I'm so sorry, Shannon. I made him do it.
I just wanted to get you back.
You ordered an escort and kept her in the attic?
God, you're a sick fuck.
We knew she was mental, all right?
Chris even called the website
to get... to talk to the owner
to come pick her up.
What time did he say he was going to come get her?
Right, Chris?
We don't even know if she's gone or not.
We don't even know if she's still in the fucking house or not.
What if he's as crazy as she is?
What are you going to do then, huh?
I'm going to go find her,
and I'm gonna fucking take care of it.
I'm scared.
It's okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Natasha.
Where are you?
It's time to go home.
I wonder if Chris is okay.
I hope so.
I really hope so.
Shit. Shit.
What's the matter? What's wrong?
Shit. Shit!
- Andy, help me. - It's locked.
- Andy, help me. - I'm trying.
She's doing this to you. I've got to get out of here
and stop whatever the fuck she's doing to you.
It feels like she's stabbing me.
No.
Oh, my God!
Chris, what the fuck are you doing?
Chris...
Shannon, run!
Run! Get the fuck out of here!
Get the fuck out of here!
Stop! Stop!
Fuck!
Get off me!
No. No.
Please.
Chris, don't.
Don't do this.
Please.
Kill me instead.
You did good.
You make me proud.
Time to go.
We have another client.