1
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:49,369
I never knew you had this
kind of wild side, honey.

2
00:02:49,404 --> 00:02:50,902
Are you sure
you know what you're doing?

3
00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:53,907
Absolutely, you're going
to be great at this.

4
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:58,711
Oh, here ya go!

5
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,550
Why aren't you strapped
to an instructor?

6
00:03:03,585 --> 00:03:06,653
I'm certified,
I jump solo.

7
00:03:06,688 --> 00:03:07,754
Yeah?

8
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,222
OK?

9
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:14,726
But I'm, I'm not ready!

10
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,763
All right, honey,
we have to talk.

11
00:03:16,798 --> 00:03:18,882
- What?
- I'm breaking up with you!

12
00:03:18,917 --> 00:03:20,932
- You're what?
- It's not you it's me!

13
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:23,670
- What?!
- There's an Uber waiting for you when you land!

14
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:31,411
OK.

15
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:52,982
I liked that one.

16
00:03:53,017 --> 00:03:54,499
Yeah, he seemed nice.

17
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,234
Do you still
want to make a jump?

18
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,671
There's another
landing field up ahead.

19
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:01,441
Are you crazy?
I could die.

20
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:31,536
Yeah, I'll be there
at 6PM sharp like always.

21
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:37,043
No. Because there's never
anybody I want you to meet, Mom.

22
00:04:37,078 --> 00:04:41,614
Yeah, there still swimming,
last I checked.

23
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:46,719
All right, I'll see you Sunday.

24
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:47,887
I love you too, bye-bye.

25
00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:53,558
- Dinner Sunday at Mom's?
- Yeah.

26
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:57,430
Oh, I'm sorry, man. You want
to come to dinner on Sunday?

27
00:04:57,465 --> 00:04:59,264
Aw thanks, man,
I'd love to.

28
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,802
So, what seismic earth shift
got your ass off the couch

29
00:05:02,837 --> 00:05:05,505
and in to my office today,
buddy?

30
00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:07,373
Basketball with the guys.

31
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,807
Oh, yeah.

32
00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:12,477
Man, I can't do it,
I got to work.

33
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:15,948
- Hoops, bro.
- I hear ya, I can't do it. Look at this.

34
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,649
Oh, oh, who's
the little brunette

35
00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:19,619
with the big guy?
What did he do, kill her?

36
00:05:19,654 --> 00:05:21,519
- An assault.
- He beat her up?

37
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:24,522
- She kicked his ass, actually.
- Ha! Yeah?

38
00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:28,945
Yeah, so she caught him
having sex with the neighbor.

39
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:33,298
There was an altercation,
and he's suing her for damages.

40
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:37,036
So, she hired me to make it all
go away. She still loves the guy.

41
00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:39,105
She wants him back
after he boned the neighbor?

42
00:05:39,140 --> 00:05:41,439
I don't know what
to tell you, man.

43
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,043
Sexual impulses are strong,
but sometimes,

44
00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:45,979
I guess love is stronger.

45
00:05:46,014 --> 00:05:47,880
Is that the Hayworth file?

46
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,380
It sure is.

47
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:50,950
So, you're handling
the arbitration?

48
00:05:50,985 --> 00:05:52,350
Yeah, I gotcha covered.

49
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:53,720
You bet, you can head home
to the kids.

50
00:05:53,755 --> 00:05:54,819
Oh!

51
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,388
Whoa, whoa!

52
00:05:57,423 --> 00:06:01,794
Hey, honey. No, the Adderall
is in the green bottle,

53
00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:03,361
it's organic.

54
00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:06,366
Yeah. No, honey,
it's right next to the...

55
00:06:06,401 --> 00:06:09,067
No!

56
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,037
That's liquid gold!

57
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,773
Nope, that's a goner.

58
00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:18,310
Honey, you're going to
have to take some milk

59
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:20,813
out of the freezer.
I lost the afternoon load.

60
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,415
Sorry.

61
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,854
It's still warm.

62
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:35,461
I don't care. Calvin,
I need you in my office.

63
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,483
You can close the door
behind you.

64
00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:04,655
You like it here
don't you, Calvin?

65
00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:08,661
Your work has been outstanding.
Partners have noticed.

66
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,162
Yeah. You know, I'm surprised,

67
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:14,500
but you can actually do good
work in an oversized law firm

68
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:15,967
with hourly rates
higher than gods.

69
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:19,872
Hmm. How are the women's rights
cases going?

70
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:22,742
Mm. Just fine, great.

71
00:07:22,777 --> 00:07:24,075
Still winning?

72
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,479
I'm undefeated.
But you knew that.

73
00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:28,548
Hm. That's good.

74
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:31,884
It's really good.

75
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:33,718
Gena, why am I here?

76
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:37,188
I have a situation
that needs handling,

77
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:40,660
and I think you are
just the person for the job.

78
00:07:40,695 --> 00:07:43,680
- Client?
- Blogger.

79
00:07:43,715 --> 00:07:46,631
My sister, actually.

80
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:50,736
Ah-ha. The mysterious sister
you never speak of.

81
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:53,104
She was only 15
when our dad died.

82
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:57,543
Just a kid, really.
She was heartbroken.

83
00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:01,948
And then... I went off
to law school...

84
00:08:01,983 --> 00:08:04,549
Well, I'm sure she's fine.

85
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:07,151
She might look fine
from the outside.

86
00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:10,156
She's a successful scientist
here in Portland, actually.

87
00:08:10,191 --> 00:08:13,410
She writes formulas
for Fortune 500 companies.

88
00:08:13,445 --> 00:08:16,594
- What kind of formulas?
- Various things.

89
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:20,533
Did you know that there
is a formula for happiness?

90
00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,702
Yeah, it's called whiskey.

91
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:29,040
Anyway, that is
all a façade.

92
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:32,278
The real Lauren is
a different person altogether.

93
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,682
Look at this.

94
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:42,922
The Pig Theory.

95
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:47,259
The point of
infidelity and guilt.

96
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,646
Gena, this is
kind of awesome.

97
00:08:49,681 --> 00:08:51,963
It's not awesome,
it's insane.

98
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:55,001
Can you imagine the impact she's
having on these people's lives?

99
00:08:55,036 --> 00:08:58,070
Not to mention
her own mental wellbeing.

100
00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,770
They're empowering her.

101
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:04,043
She's been offered
a very lucrative book deal.

102
00:09:04,078 --> 00:09:07,211
And I'm just concerned

103
00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:09,547
that if she writes that book,

104
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:12,985
the girl I grew up with
will be gone forever.

105
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,939
So, I need you to stop her.

106
00:09:15,974 --> 00:09:18,858
The blog, the book,
all of it.

107
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,292
And how exactly

108
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:23,279
am I supposed
to do that?

109
00:09:23,314 --> 00:09:25,607
I don't care how you do it.

110
00:09:25,642 --> 00:09:27,900
Use your powers of persuasion.

111
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,802
You're undefeated, right?

112
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,037
Women love you.

113
00:09:31,072 --> 00:09:32,904
Ah...

114
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,741
You want me to mess
with this poor girl's head?

115
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:39,677
No, just...
take her to drinks,

116
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:42,582
you know, show her that there
are good guys out there.

117
00:09:42,617 --> 00:09:43,616
Guys like you.

118
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:51,390
I'm sorry, I...
I can't do that.

119
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:54,994
Mm. I had a feeling
you'd say that.

120
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:58,031
So, I have
an offer for you.

121
00:09:58,066 --> 00:10:00,998
Do this and I will recommend

122
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,802
that you make partner
to the board.

123
00:10:02,837 --> 00:10:04,602
Now that's cold, Gena,

124
00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,337
you know I deserve
to make partner.

125
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:10,826
Yes, you do,
and this will guarantee it.

126
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:13,988
Tucker, Aaronson,
Mauldin & Chesney.

127
00:10:14,023 --> 00:10:17,116
Has a nice ring to it,
doesn't it?

128
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:23,322
OK...

129
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:28,361
OK. I'll talk to her...

130
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:36,135
and I'll get her
to shut down the blog.

131
00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:38,069
Mm.

132
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:41,173
I knew you would
see things my way.

133
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:34,393
No, no, you tell him I will make
that donation to Popular Science

134
00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:36,429
and I don't want
any recognition for it.

135
00:11:36,464 --> 00:11:39,131
People need
their science, man.

136
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,297
Oh!

137
00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:42,233
Whoa, whoa!

138
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:45,120
- Hey, you OK there?
- Yeah.

139
00:11:45,155 --> 00:11:47,973
You mind if I take a look?

140
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,077
Can I have my leg back?

141
00:11:51,112 --> 00:11:54,080
Yeah, sorry.

142
00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:57,116
Here, let me help you up.

143
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,420
- Here you go.
- Thanks.

144
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,424
Listen, that could be
a nasty sprain.

145
00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:07,026
Why don't I get
you some ice.

146
00:12:07,061 --> 00:12:08,094
Maybe a cup of coffee?

147
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:13,364
You know, I don't know you.

148
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,235
I'm sorry, but why would I
get coffee with you?

149
00:12:16,270 --> 00:12:18,370
I'm Calvin.

150
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,284
Thanks.

151
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:36,021
I'm Lauren, by the way.

152
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,988
Nice to meet you.

153
00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:40,776
What's-what's
in the folder there?

154
00:12:40,811 --> 00:12:43,494
Uh, it's my work.
I'm a scientist,

155
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,981
but mainly I just work
on product improvement.

156
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,434
And it's a report
on a formula I was developing.

157
00:12:48,469 --> 00:12:51,203
Wow, that sounds serious.

158
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:52,937
Not so much.

159
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,441
It's the formula for,
I don't know, the perfect pizza.

160
00:12:55,476 --> 00:12:57,794
Cheese, crust, and beer.

161
00:12:57,829 --> 00:13:00,077
Basically, right? Yeah.

162
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,515
I mean, there might be a few
more factors at play, but...

163
00:13:02,550 --> 00:13:04,081
Such as?

164
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,485
All right, well,
so the perfect pizza

165
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,456
boils down to that
first perfect bite, you know?

166
00:13:10,491 --> 00:13:12,456
But with these larger pizzas,

167
00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:14,560
sometimes the crust
can get a little soggy,

168
00:13:14,595 --> 00:13:16,227
especially in the middle,

169
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:19,081
but you can calculate
the perfect ratio

170
00:13:19,116 --> 00:13:21,901
between the thickness
of the pizza's crust

171
00:13:21,936 --> 00:13:24,034
and constant volume
of toppings,

172
00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:27,506
then you can formulate
the perfect bite.

173
00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:30,474
Anyway, our client

174
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:34,313
used the formula to ad nine
grams of dough to their pizza,

175
00:13:34,348 --> 00:13:37,449
and now some say
it's the perfect pizza.

176
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,435
Wow.

177
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,352
Yeah.

178
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:44,890
Well, you know
what this means, don't you?

179
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:48,125
Actually, I really don't.

180
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,747
It means that you have
to take me to this place

181
00:13:51,782 --> 00:13:55,334
and we need to experience
this perfect pizza.

182
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,402
I don't know,

183
00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,339
I should probably just...

184
00:14:00,374 --> 00:14:02,206
Come on, you have to.

185
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,074
It's the perfect pizza,
it can't wait.

186
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,545
OK, OK, you're kind of
putting me on the spot here,

187
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,245
but all right,
let's try the pizza.

188
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,881
Come on, if you can walk,
you can eat pizza.

189
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:11,483
I can hobble down the street
a little bit, yeah.

190
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,351
All right, terrific...
perfect pizza.

191
00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:17,289
You can't tell a guy
about a perfect pizza...

192
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,290
Come on... Do you need this?

193
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:21,393
- Yeah, thank you.
- Are you sure you trust me with this?

194
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:26,565
Wow, I gotta say,
that was a pretty good pizza.

195
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,265
- Pretty good.
- Pretty good.

196
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,402
I don't know
if it's the perfect pizza...

197
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,104
- Oh, I see.
- Thank you.

198
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,437
But it's pretty good.

199
00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:35,241
I'll give it to you,
it's pretty good.

200
00:14:35,276 --> 00:14:36,440
It's pretty good. OK.

201
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:37,977
Thank you.
I'll take pretty good.

202
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,062
- Thank you.
- Yeah.

203
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,302
Watch that ankle.

204
00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:05,204
It's OK.

205
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:09,708
Well,
thank you for the ice.

206
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:13,112
Yeah,
thank you for the pizza.

207
00:15:13,147 --> 00:15:15,648
It was great to meet you.

208
00:15:15,683 --> 00:15:18,150
Great meeting you, Lauren.

209
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:19,351
Goodnight.

210
00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:22,688
Hey, Lauren...

211
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,325
Can I see you again?

212
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,631
Maybe.

213
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,368
That's not a no.

214
00:16:07,599 --> 00:16:09,101
Voodoo?

215
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:14,690
- Thank you.
- You're welcome, you're welcome.

216
00:16:14,725 --> 00:16:16,976
- That's super sweet.
- It is super sweet.

217
00:16:17,011 --> 00:16:18,442
- It is super sweet.
- Yeah.

218
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,080
- But I do love this place.
- Yeah, one at a time there.

219
00:16:21,115 --> 00:16:22,448
Oh, mmmm.

220
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,335
Thanks.

221
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,404
Yeah, no, I was
really lucky to get this place.

222
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:24,209
- I moved in two years ago.
- Yeah, it's really nice.

223
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:29,380
So...

224
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:33,252
You know, you don't have
to leave right away.

225
00:17:33,287 --> 00:17:38,457
You can... stay the night
if you want.

226
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:42,659
OK, um...

227
00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:44,646
I'd like that.

228
00:17:44,681 --> 00:17:46,598
But I can't.

229
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:53,237
Um, but I thought we were...

230
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:55,541
- I thought we had been...
- We are.

231
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:58,211
We are.

232
00:17:58,246 --> 00:18:00,811
And, um...

233
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:04,850
that's why I don't want to
take this to the next level

234
00:18:04,885 --> 00:18:07,486
until we've been totally
honest with each other.

235
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,822
I thought we had been.

236
00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:22,684
I know about your blog,

237
00:18:22,719 --> 00:18:25,637
the, um, Pig Theory?

238
00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:29,408
Everything.

239
00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:34,379
Blog? What...

240
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:37,783
Gena told me...

241
00:18:37,818 --> 00:18:41,118
She's my boss.

242
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:44,256
- Did Gena put you up to this?
- No, no.

243
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:47,291
Nobody put me up
to anything.

244
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:50,796
I, I saw a picture of you
on her desk

245
00:18:50,831 --> 00:18:53,632
and she told me
about the blog.

246
00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:56,902
I... I was intrigued.

247
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:05,277
No. What about all that about
donating to Popular Science magazine.

248
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:06,812
I mean, you were
outside my office...

249
00:19:06,847 --> 00:19:09,748
Just an excuse to meet you.

250
00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:13,485
I didn't know you were
going to sprain your ankle,

251
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,321
but, um, yeah.

252
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,189
I mean, if you
read the blog,

253
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,226
then why you would
want to meet me?

254
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:25,164
You intrigued me.

255
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:28,700
You still do.

256
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,239
Hey, come on,

257
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:39,778
this past week
has been great, right?

258
00:19:39,813 --> 00:19:42,679
So, um...

259
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:45,450
maybe you show me more.

260
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,654
More of the real you.

261
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:57,462
OK, you want to see more?

262
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,434
Come up to my office.

263
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:08,640
OK.

264
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:24,790
So, as you can see,
the blog is...

265
00:20:24,825 --> 00:20:26,658
kind of a big deal.

266
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,562
Are these all your followers?

267
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:34,198
I've got just under
two million globally.

268
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,569
I was even thinking about turning
the whole thing into a book.

269
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:42,806
Wow, it's impressive.
It is.

270
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:46,094
And the blog's good,
too, I've read it.

271
00:20:46,129 --> 00:20:49,313
But you know what
impresses me more?

272
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:52,618
The fact that you haven't
written anything since we met.

273
00:20:52,653 --> 00:20:55,788
Had a full week,
not one post.

274
00:20:55,823 --> 00:20:58,889
It gives a guy a little hope.

275
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:04,446
You know. Hope that maybe
the Pig Slayer has met someone?

276
00:21:04,481 --> 00:21:09,968
She's ready to turn over a new
leaf and shut all this down?

277
00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:12,838
Shut it down?

278
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,125
What would I tell
all these people?

279
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,403
I mean, I'm sorry,
but some of them,

280
00:21:19,438 --> 00:21:21,647
I've actually
changed their lives.

281
00:21:21,682 --> 00:21:23,880
For example, this one.

282
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,949
"I asked my heart
to please stop breaking.

283
00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:29,387
I prayed to God for a cure.
Then I found the Pig Slayer."

284
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:32,791
They kind of depend on me.
I can't just shut it down.

285
00:21:32,826 --> 00:21:35,926
Sure, you can.
What is that?

286
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:40,532
That there... B minus C,
what is all that?

287
00:21:40,567 --> 00:21:43,367
That's my infidelity formula.

288
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:44,770
That's what the theory
is based on.

289
00:21:44,805 --> 00:21:47,623
Your infidelity formula.

290
00:21:47,658 --> 00:21:50,442
- Yeah.
- OK, explain.

291
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:54,044
OK, OK...

292
00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:57,949
So all of these variables
are assigned a value of 1-10,

293
00:21:57,984 --> 00:21:59,735
10 being the highest,

294
00:21:59,770 --> 00:22:01,451
and you multiply boredom

295
00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:04,056
by the difference between
the excitement of someone new

296
00:22:04,091 --> 00:22:06,390
and the familiarity
of comfort,

297
00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:09,528
and you subtract from that
the fear of conflict,

298
00:22:09,563 --> 00:22:11,762
added with
the opportunity to cheat,

299
00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:14,066
and that final value,
if that's 20 or higher,

300
00:22:14,101 --> 00:22:16,601
then that person
is gonna cheat.

301
00:22:16,636 --> 00:22:19,369
And as a failsafe,

302
00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:21,938
you break up
after six months of dating.

303
00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:26,345
Statistically speaking it's not
safe to date for longer than that.

304
00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:29,346
And it works?

305
00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:32,751
Well, two million people
agree with me.

306
00:22:38,824 --> 00:22:41,558
It's... getting kind of late.

307
00:22:41,593 --> 00:22:45,397
Um, I should feed Ripley
and go to bed.

308
00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:53,839
How can you be so sure?

309
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,259
I mean, essentially
you are breaking up

310
00:22:57,294 --> 00:22:59,376
with these people
before they cheat.

311
00:22:59,411 --> 00:23:02,612
Before they have
the opportunity to cheat.

312
00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:05,817
Yeah, but what if they
never would have at all?

313
00:23:05,852 --> 00:23:07,918
People cheat.

314
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,688
All they need
is the opportunity

315
00:23:09,723 --> 00:23:11,423
and to know
they won't get caught.

316
00:23:11,458 --> 00:23:13,824
- That's your theory?
- Yeah.

317
00:23:13,859 --> 00:23:16,428
Based on a pretty kick-ass
formula, yes, that's my theory.

318
00:23:16,463 --> 00:23:17,629
And you won't be
convinced otherwise?

319
00:23:17,664 --> 00:23:18,929
That's just how it is

320
00:23:18,964 --> 00:23:22,466
- and how it's going to be, forever?
- Yeah.

321
00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:25,437
And what if I offer a way
to prove your theory wrong?

322
00:23:25,472 --> 00:23:27,173
I don't see how
you'd be able to do that.

323
00:23:27,208 --> 00:23:28,691
Now, hold on,
you're a scientist, right?

324
00:23:28,726 --> 00:23:30,175
So, you know that
a theory is nothing more

325
00:23:30,210 --> 00:23:32,008
than a theory
until it's proven.

326
00:23:32,043 --> 00:23:36,580
So have you actually
tested this theory?

327
00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:38,817
- How could you test it?
- OK. Well, you said yourself

328
00:23:38,852 --> 00:23:40,436
that everybody scores
a 20 or higher

329
00:23:40,471 --> 00:23:41,985
after six months
of dating, correct?

330
00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:43,954
- Yeah, correct.
- So, all we would need to do

331
00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:46,491
is find a group of people
who have been in a relationship

332
00:23:46,526 --> 00:23:47,891
for longer than six months,

333
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:50,162
and give them
the opportunity to cheat

334
00:23:50,197 --> 00:23:52,697
without getting
caught, right?

335
00:23:52,732 --> 00:23:54,531
I suppose...

336
00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:56,601
Now to keep a close watch
on our subjects,

337
00:23:56,636 --> 00:23:58,637
they would have to be
people close to us.

338
00:23:58,672 --> 00:24:00,790
Like my friends,
or your friends.

339
00:24:00,825 --> 00:24:02,908
Wait, hold on.
I don't understand.

340
00:24:02,943 --> 00:24:04,040
What are you proposing?

341
00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:06,544
I'm suggesting
that you and I

342
00:24:06,579 --> 00:24:08,747
have a little competition.

343
00:24:08,782 --> 00:24:10,881
- A competition?
- Mm-hmm.

344
00:24:10,916 --> 00:24:13,552
I pick five of my friends
who've been in a relationship

345
00:24:13,587 --> 00:24:15,521
for longer than six months,

346
00:24:15,556 --> 00:24:17,173
and you pick the enchantresses

347
00:24:17,208 --> 00:24:18,755
who will be their downfall.

348
00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:20,892
You tempt them,
you challenge them,

349
00:24:20,927 --> 00:24:22,311
you do your worst.

350
00:24:22,346 --> 00:24:23,660
You pick a situation

351
00:24:23,695 --> 00:24:25,246
in which you think gives them

352
00:24:25,281 --> 00:24:26,763
the best opportunity to cheat,

353
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,468
and we will see if
they take the bait.

354
00:24:29,503 --> 00:24:32,469
OK? Best three
out of five wins.

355
00:24:32,504 --> 00:24:36,475
OK, if three out of five
people cheat,

356
00:24:36,510 --> 00:24:38,194
then you have to post
on my blog

357
00:24:38,229 --> 00:24:39,843
and write a forward
to the book

358
00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:42,747
about the competition
and how it all went down,

359
00:24:42,782 --> 00:24:44,883
and admit that,
yes, my theory is correct.

360
00:24:44,918 --> 00:24:46,950
OK,

361
00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:49,519
but if three
out of five resist,

362
00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:51,688
then you've got to post
admitting you were wrong

363
00:24:51,723 --> 00:24:53,992
about the whole thing,
and you gotta shut it all down.

364
00:24:54,027 --> 00:24:58,264
And you have to agree
to be with me.

365
00:24:58,299 --> 00:25:02,501
Like normal people,
no expiration date.

366
00:25:05,036 --> 00:25:06,870
Mm.

367
00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:09,473
If I win,

368
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,243
I get my six months
with you.

369
00:25:11,278 --> 00:25:13,429
Really?

370
00:25:13,464 --> 00:25:15,545
Yeah.

371
00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:19,049
Yeah, if I win,
you still post, admit defeat,

372
00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:23,755
but I get my six months,
and then we end it. Agreed?

373
00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:27,259
Agreed.

374
00:25:32,998 --> 00:25:34,566
Goodnight, Lauren.

375
00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:51,681
You're upset.

376
00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:53,783
- I'm not upset.
- Yes, you are.

377
00:25:53,818 --> 00:25:57,556
Your voice always rises like
three octaves when you're upset.

378
00:25:57,591 --> 00:25:58,855
I'm not upset.

379
00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:00,790
Now you're transgender.

380
00:26:00,825 --> 00:26:03,995
Oh... First of all, how could
you embarrass me like that?

381
00:26:04,030 --> 00:26:05,864
What... You...

382
00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:11,303
You send some guy my way,
who doesn't even...

383
00:26:11,338 --> 00:26:13,537
and why would he...?

384
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:16,840
First of all,
I know how to find a guy.

385
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:19,978
Finding them has never been
your problem, sweetie.

386
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:25,715
I don't have any problems!

387
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:27,352
You know, I really thought
he liked me.

388
00:26:27,387 --> 00:26:29,052
He does, you idiot, I mean,

389
00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:31,623
why else would he take part
in this... what is it,

390
00:26:31,658 --> 00:26:33,590
like a competition?

391
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:37,095
Yeah. You're right.
Best three out of five wins.

392
00:26:37,130 --> 00:26:39,898
Oh, I'm so gonna
kick his ass.

393
00:26:39,933 --> 00:26:42,632
How exactly is this
going to work?

394
00:26:42,667 --> 00:26:46,336
OK, so, we have a list
of challengers, right?

395
00:26:46,371 --> 00:26:50,308
And all these people have been in
relationships six months or longer,

396
00:26:50,343 --> 00:26:52,876
and to prove my theory correct,

397
00:26:52,911 --> 00:26:57,649
alls I have to do is...
tempt them.

398
00:26:59,651 --> 00:27:01,651
Oh, my God, there's a list.

399
00:27:01,686 --> 00:27:03,221
What do you know
about these people?

400
00:27:03,256 --> 00:27:05,021
Everything I need to know.

401
00:27:05,056 --> 00:27:07,358
Simon Walker, OK,
so, he's a preppy bartender.

402
00:27:07,393 --> 00:27:09,311
The bartender at Toochies?
- Right, exactly.

403
00:27:09,346 --> 00:27:11,229
Apparently, he's one
of Cal's best friends

404
00:27:11,264 --> 00:27:13,964
and he's been engaged
for two years.

405
00:27:13,999 --> 00:27:17,168
Now, Cal says, "Oh, he
wouldn't possibly cheat."

406
00:27:17,203 --> 00:27:18,870
That's a very long engagement.

407
00:27:18,905 --> 00:27:21,706
- Right?
- Who's that?

408
00:27:21,741 --> 00:27:23,673
Edward Hockett.

409
00:27:23,708 --> 00:27:24,975
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

410
00:27:25,010 --> 00:27:26,343
They're high school
sweethearts.

411
00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:28,880
Now we went to
a yoga class together,

412
00:27:28,915 --> 00:27:30,880
and actually,

413
00:27:30,915 --> 00:27:32,882
oh, you know, I hate to do it
to her really,

414
00:27:32,917 --> 00:27:36,154
but, uh, hey, if Cal's right
and my theory is totally wrong,

415
00:27:36,189 --> 00:27:39,055
then, hey, I haven't done
anything, right?

416
00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:42,193
Right. But you're not going
to actually arrange

417
00:27:42,228 --> 00:27:43,762
for these people
to have sex, are you?

418
00:27:43,797 --> 00:27:46,329
No. OK, so,

419
00:27:46,364 --> 00:27:48,082
Cal and I
argued about this, right?

420
00:27:48,117 --> 00:27:49,766
And he came up
with a good point.

421
00:27:49,801 --> 00:27:51,953
He said, "Well, somebody
could always back out,

422
00:27:51,988 --> 00:27:54,070
or change their mind,
how are you gonna know?"

423
00:27:54,105 --> 00:27:57,442
And I said, "Listen,
if the underwear have come out,

424
00:27:57,477 --> 00:28:00,812
it's a done deal,"
so we decided on that.

425
00:28:00,847 --> 00:28:02,278
Underwear is proof.

426
00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:05,150
You're going to steal
these people's underwear?

427
00:28:05,185 --> 00:28:07,686
Me? No, no, no.
I'm not gonna do that.

428
00:28:07,721 --> 00:28:09,454
Corina's gonna do it.

429
00:28:09,489 --> 00:28:10,789
Who's Corina?

430
00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:14,724
She's a devout
follower of the blog.

431
00:28:14,759 --> 00:28:17,095
She's got some very interesting
things to say about men.

432
00:28:17,130 --> 00:28:19,164
We have gotten close
over the last couple of years.

433
00:28:19,199 --> 00:28:21,965
She... dances.
Exotically.

434
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,704
- [GenShe's a stripper.
- Hey, don't be so judgey.

435
00:28:25,739 --> 00:28:27,906
She's a person.
Like you or me.

436
00:28:27,941 --> 00:28:29,608
Thank you.

437
00:28:29,643 --> 00:28:31,241
Thank you...

438
00:28:31,276 --> 00:28:33,343
Anyway, I said she could

439
00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:35,080
post a victory blog
when we win.

440
00:28:35,115 --> 00:28:38,416
Mm. When you win?

441
00:28:38,451 --> 00:28:39,816
Mm-hmm.

442
00:28:39,851 --> 00:28:41,986
Look, I'm a little bit
of an expert

443
00:28:42,021 --> 00:28:44,122
in human nature, OK?
I can't lose.

444
00:28:44,157 --> 00:28:47,092
OK, but what if you do?

445
00:28:49,094 --> 00:28:52,897
Well, if I do,
I have to admit defeat.

446
00:28:52,932 --> 00:28:55,000
I have to shut
down the blog,

447
00:28:55,035 --> 00:28:56,719
which means I lose
my followers.

448
00:28:56,754 --> 00:28:58,368
Then I have to postpone
the book,

449
00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:00,403
because without a blog
there is no book.

450
00:29:00,438 --> 00:29:03,908
That's a lot of think about.
You must really like him

451
00:29:03,943 --> 00:29:05,510
if you're willing to
risk so much.

452
00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:10,114
I don't know,
I'm going to win.

453
00:29:10,149 --> 00:29:12,115
Also think about
it this way.

454
00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:14,117
If I get the city's
top female advocate attorney

455
00:29:14,152 --> 00:29:17,522
writing on my blog about the
competition and what it proves?

456
00:29:17,557 --> 00:29:20,390
That book, that book
is worth the mint.

457
00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:23,495
Wait, Sharon Gottlieb
she works in our office.

458
00:29:23,530 --> 00:29:26,064
She is happily married,
just had a baby.

459
00:29:26,099 --> 00:29:28,765
Corina is definitely
not her type.

460
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,303
Yeah, no, I know. He threw that in
there. But, you know what? It's fine.

461
00:29:32,338 --> 00:29:34,806
The pig theory applies
to men and women alike.

462
00:29:34,841 --> 00:29:37,442
We all can be pigs.
That's the whole point.

463
00:29:37,477 --> 00:29:40,044
I mean, you and Mom
were a huge inspiration.

464
00:29:40,079 --> 00:29:41,811
Gee, thanks.

465
00:29:41,846 --> 00:29:44,013
So, how are you going
to tempt Sharon?

466
00:29:44,048 --> 00:29:47,152
There's a male dancer
that works at the Caritas Club.

467
00:29:47,187 --> 00:29:50,055
- Oh...
- He's down to play.

468
00:29:50,090 --> 00:29:52,889
And, God,
he's really hot.

469
00:29:52,924 --> 00:29:55,024
Poor Sharon
doesn't stand a chance.

470
00:29:55,059 --> 00:29:58,296
OK. And, uh,
these last two challengers?

471
00:29:58,331 --> 00:30:00,463
Oh right,
Garrett Stuckey.

472
00:30:00,498 --> 00:30:04,868
Yeah, that's, um, that's Cal's
fitness instructor.

473
00:30:04,903 --> 00:30:08,907
You know, he's one of these
thick, veiny-neck kind of guys.

474
00:30:08,942 --> 00:30:12,911
He's been living with the
aerobics instructor for two years.

475
00:30:12,946 --> 00:30:14,210
That seems like an easy one.

476
00:30:14,245 --> 00:30:16,347
Yeah.
That's exactly what I think.

477
00:30:16,382 --> 00:30:18,448
But, I don't know,
Cal swears

478
00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:22,185
he's a man of integrity
and honor.

479
00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:24,956
No, he doesn't actually
talk like that.

480
00:30:24,991 --> 00:30:26,923
I swear, he does.

481
00:30:26,958 --> 00:30:28,493
I don't know, maybe the
competition brought out

482
00:30:28,528 --> 00:30:31,396
a whole new
Prince Charming thing.

483
00:30:31,431 --> 00:30:34,497
That's precious.

484
00:30:34,532 --> 00:30:38,501
Gena, I've been meaning
to ask you.

485
00:30:38,536 --> 00:30:41,439
So, you guys went
to law school together,

486
00:30:41,474 --> 00:30:43,039
you work with him,

487
00:30:43,074 --> 00:30:45,210
you've known him
a long time, he's a guy,

488
00:30:45,245 --> 00:30:47,111
and you're... you.

489
00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:52,116
You guys never slept together
or anything, right?

490
00:30:52,151 --> 00:30:53,550
Of course not!

491
00:30:53,585 --> 00:30:55,186
'Cause that would be gross.

492
00:30:55,221 --> 00:30:58,922
Yes, that would.

493
00:30:58,957 --> 00:31:00,525
Now who is this
last challenger?

494
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,492
Yeah.

495
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:04,829
That's his minister.
Married guy.

496
00:31:04,864 --> 00:31:07,096
Minister?
That hardly seem fair.

497
00:31:07,131 --> 00:31:09,601
I thought that at
first too, but, I don't know,

498
00:31:09,636 --> 00:31:11,134
he's a
Presbyterian minister,

499
00:31:11,169 --> 00:31:13,136
so he never took
the oath of celibacy,

500
00:31:13,171 --> 00:31:17,308
and I do say that, you know,
the theory applies to everyone,

501
00:31:17,343 --> 00:31:18,575
so, it is fair.

502
00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:21,412
Still, that seems like
kind of a long shot.

503
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:25,283
Does it, though?

504
00:31:28,286 --> 00:31:32,388
OK but, how can you be sure
he's not going to

505
00:31:32,423 --> 00:31:36,027
tell all of his friends
before just so that he can win?

506
00:31:37,662 --> 00:31:42,165
Uh, yeah,
that's a good point.

507
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,168
Well, I guess we'll just
have to hope that he's

508
00:31:44,203 --> 00:31:46,671
a man of integrity
and honor.

509
00:32:04,322 --> 00:32:06,057
Good evening.

510
00:32:09,994 --> 00:32:11,996
Well, it's just
a temporary shutdown.

511
00:32:14,032 --> 00:32:15,965
Can't be writing
on the blog

512
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,135
in the middle
of the competition.

513
00:32:18,170 --> 00:32:20,271
Don't want to ruin the secret.

514
00:32:20,306 --> 00:32:22,573
Right, Ripley?

515
00:32:23,574 --> 00:32:26,210
OK...

516
00:32:51,736 --> 00:32:55,540
And... I raise
you two dollars.

517
00:32:57,108 --> 00:32:58,441
You are so bluffing.

518
00:32:58,476 --> 00:33:00,710
Kwan, you're not
even in the hand.

519
00:33:00,745 --> 00:33:04,449
It's a Tae Kwon Do trick. I can
read your body, therefore, your mind.

520
00:33:04,484 --> 00:33:07,652
You took Taw Kwon Do
in the third grade.

521
00:33:07,687 --> 00:33:09,485
It never leaves you.

522
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,489
- Oh, my God, Kwan.
- Hey man,

523
00:33:11,524 --> 00:33:13,423
my people
have suffered a lot.

524
00:33:13,458 --> 00:33:16,561
Did you know in some places you're
only allowed to have one kid?

525
00:33:16,596 --> 00:33:19,664
Yeah, but you're hungry again an
hour later, all right, let's go.

526
00:33:19,699 --> 00:33:22,467
Boo-yah!
King high straight.

527
00:33:22,502 --> 00:33:24,000
OK...

528
00:33:24,035 --> 00:33:26,671
Now, don't feel too bad.
I got the brains.

529
00:33:26,706 --> 00:33:28,740
But you, you got the...

530
00:33:30,208 --> 00:33:31,509
I got the looks too.

531
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,282
Didn't even see the flush.

532
00:33:38,317 --> 00:33:39,682
- No!
- Oooh!

533
00:33:39,717 --> 00:33:40,984
Thank you. Thank you.

534
00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:42,320
My doctor says
take two of these

535
00:33:42,355 --> 00:33:45,121
and call him in the morning.

536
00:33:45,156 --> 00:33:48,192
Cal, tell the guys
about your new girlfriend.

537
00:33:48,227 --> 00:33:51,427
The hikes, the long walks
in the park.

538
00:33:51,462 --> 00:33:55,131
Yeah, guys, she's, uh,
yeah, she's pretty great.

539
00:33:55,166 --> 00:33:58,636
Does she work out, bro?
I mean, 'cause you want to keep that ass high and tight,

540
00:33:58,671 --> 00:34:01,205
'cause later she's going to
give up and it's going to sag.

541
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,373
She looks like she works out.

542
00:34:03,408 --> 00:34:07,528
How about we hear about
what she's like?

543
00:34:07,563 --> 00:34:11,649
Well, she's, uh, cool,
and smart and quirky.

544
00:34:11,684 --> 00:34:13,385
A little bit crazy.

545
00:34:13,420 --> 00:34:15,086
Hey, is she a red head?

546
00:34:15,121 --> 00:34:16,552
Come on.

547
00:34:16,587 --> 00:34:20,625
Man, Kimberly has been coming
to bed lately in flannels.

548
00:34:20,660 --> 00:34:22,191
It's a clear message.

549
00:34:22,226 --> 00:34:24,527
- Black women
do not wear flannel.

550
00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:27,131
I'm still being punished from
the last time we went fishing.

551
00:34:27,166 --> 00:34:28,633
You should rub her feet.

552
00:34:28,668 --> 00:34:30,166
What?

553
00:34:30,201 --> 00:34:31,401
I'm telling you,

554
00:34:31,436 --> 00:34:34,303
Jenny loves it
when I rub her feet.

555
00:34:34,338 --> 00:34:37,742
And then I run her calves,
and then I rub her knees.

556
00:34:37,777 --> 00:34:40,529
- Dude!
- We get it! Thank you.

557
00:34:40,564 --> 00:34:43,246
So what kind of crazy is she?

558
00:34:43,281 --> 00:34:47,351
Yeah, like, Angelina Jolie crazy
or Tilda Swinton crazy?

559
00:34:47,386 --> 00:34:49,587
Who the hell is Tilda Swinton?

560
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:53,124
Nah, I'd say she's probably

561
00:34:53,159 --> 00:34:54,624
the Tilda crazy,

562
00:34:54,659 --> 00:34:56,426
but she's got a lot
of sweetness too.

563
00:34:56,461 --> 00:34:59,397
I'm telling you, this uh,
this girl's a good one.

564
00:34:59,432 --> 00:35:02,584
Well, be nice to her.
I like this one.

565
00:35:02,619 --> 00:35:05,701
Oh, thank you, doctor,
I plan on it.

566
00:35:05,736 --> 00:35:09,305
Hey, guys.
Who the hell is Tilda Swinton?

567
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:12,477
Jesus, Garrett. Go to a movie.
Go see a movie!

568
00:35:12,512 --> 00:35:13,643
You too busy?

569
00:35:13,678 --> 00:35:17,248
"I'm poundin' weights! Uhh!"

570
00:35:17,283 --> 00:35:20,585
Protein, reps.

571
00:35:20,620 --> 00:35:23,888
Ante up, douche.

572
00:35:31,829 --> 00:35:36,134
Just got off the phone
with Mom, she's pulling up now.

573
00:35:36,169 --> 00:35:38,470
You know, I don't see
what the big deal is.

574
00:35:38,505 --> 00:35:40,856
I mean, she's been dating
since Dad died.

575
00:35:40,891 --> 00:35:43,207
Aren't you even
a little but curious?

576
00:35:43,242 --> 00:35:45,243
- No.
- What if he's the one?

577
00:35:45,278 --> 00:35:47,245
Gena,
she already met the one.

578
00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:51,681
Hello, my darlings.

579
00:35:51,716 --> 00:35:53,618
I'm so sorry
to keep you waiting.

580
00:35:53,653 --> 00:35:55,520
Alejandro is
parking the car.

581
00:35:55,555 --> 00:35:56,752
Hi, Mom.

582
00:35:56,787 --> 00:35:58,523
Hey, Mom,
how have you been?

583
00:35:58,558 --> 00:36:01,576
I love your new... look.

584
00:36:01,611 --> 00:36:04,560
Mama Mia, Bellissimo!

585
00:36:04,595 --> 00:36:07,865
- It's Valentino.
- Giorgio Armani.

586
00:36:09,233 --> 00:36:13,337
BonjournMy darling.

587
00:36:16,574 --> 00:36:18,774
- Oh!
- Sweet.

588
00:36:18,809 --> 00:36:22,245
Guys, this is
Alejandro Baraza.

589
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:26,517
This is my daughter, Gena,
and my other daughter, Lauren.

590
00:36:26,552 --> 00:36:29,687
Like dulcet dewdrops
dripped from a diamond.

591
00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,155
I love it...

592
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:33,658
- I love it!
- Oh, well!

593
00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:39,030
Oh! Oh.
I'm so sorry!

594
00:36:39,065 --> 00:36:41,967
I just must be a...

595
00:36:42,002 --> 00:36:44,470
drippy, drippy dewdrop.

596
00:36:44,505 --> 00:36:46,505
It's OK, it's OK...

597
00:36:46,540 --> 00:36:48,471
- Let's eat.
- Hmmm.

598
00:36:48,506 --> 00:36:50,374
- Right this way.
- Thank you.

599
00:36:50,409 --> 00:36:51,941
So, they tell you in class

600
00:36:51,976 --> 00:36:53,809
you have to
switch partners every week

601
00:36:53,844 --> 00:36:56,214
so you can experience
different types of dancers.

602
00:36:56,249 --> 00:36:58,784
Alejandro refused to switch.

603
00:36:58,819 --> 00:37:01,020
- Of course.
- Alejandro,

604
00:37:01,055 --> 00:37:03,186
if you don't mind me asking,

605
00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:07,592
what was a gentleman
who's you know, your age,

606
00:37:07,627 --> 00:37:11,561
doing at a senior
ballroom dance class?

607
00:37:11,596 --> 00:37:15,633
I understand your curiosity,
and I will tell you right now.

608
00:37:15,668 --> 00:37:18,701
I work like a dog
in my shop.

609
00:37:18,736 --> 00:37:21,239
He's a designer.
He makes men's suites.

610
00:37:21,274 --> 00:37:22,905
- Has his own label.
- Yeah.

611
00:37:22,940 --> 00:37:26,744
- Wow.
- So, I was thinking to myself and I say,

612
00:37:26,779 --> 00:37:30,548
"Alejandro,
you're such a great dancer,

613
00:37:30,583 --> 00:37:32,982
and your heart
is only half full.

614
00:37:33,017 --> 00:37:35,551
This is not the right way
to live the life.

615
00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:40,458
You must live the life with the
heart full of love, always, right?"

616
00:37:40,493 --> 00:37:45,296
So, I walked into the class,
and I was ready

617
00:37:45,331 --> 00:37:47,530
with the shaking of my hulo,

618
00:37:47,565 --> 00:37:50,600
and sharing the love
for the dance,

619
00:37:50,635 --> 00:37:54,839
and there she was, like a
beautiful ball of sunshine,

620
00:37:54,874 --> 00:37:57,341
burning my poor eyes.

621
00:37:57,376 --> 00:37:59,043
Amore mio.

622
00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:04,747
Act your age.

623
00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:07,883
And what does that mean?
"Act my age?"

624
00:38:07,918 --> 00:38:11,589
Am I supposed to be at home knitting
sweaters? Does Gena act her age?

625
00:38:11,624 --> 00:38:13,791
Or what about you, Lauren?
You're 30 years old.

626
00:38:13,826 --> 00:38:15,559
Aren't you supposed
to be married by now

627
00:38:15,594 --> 00:38:16,811
and giving me grandbabies?

628
00:38:16,846 --> 00:38:18,588
I don't see that happening.

629
00:38:18,623 --> 00:38:20,296
I'm very busy,
all right?

630
00:38:20,331 --> 00:38:22,800
Work is always crazy,
then there's my blog,

631
00:38:22,835 --> 00:38:24,400
and now
this book thing...

632
00:38:24,435 --> 00:38:26,869
Well, we can't all be
Pig Slayers, Lauren.

633
00:38:26,904 --> 00:38:30,291
How long's that been going on,
anyway? And when's that going to stop?

634
00:38:30,326 --> 00:38:33,678
- I'm sure it's just a phase.
- At some point the phase becomes a reality.

635
00:38:33,713 --> 00:38:36,548
And the long-ago sanity
becomes a phase.

636
00:38:36,583 --> 00:38:39,348
I mean, really,
none of us Walden women

637
00:38:39,383 --> 00:38:42,752
are exactly traditionalists,
but you've taken this too far.

638
00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:47,525
Mom, I'm sorry, but I just don't
understand where you're coming from.

639
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,425
I'm just standing up
for what I believe in.

640
00:38:49,460 --> 00:38:53,331
You're not standing
for anything, you're running.

641
00:38:53,366 --> 00:38:56,101
You're not letting anybody in.

642
00:38:56,136 --> 00:38:58,836
Actually, she has met someone.

643
00:38:58,871 --> 00:39:00,303
Really?

644
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,005
Yes! His name is
Calvin Chesney,

645
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:07,878
he is a lawyer at my firm,
and they like each other a lot.

646
00:39:07,913 --> 00:39:10,713
Thank God for that!

647
00:39:10,748 --> 00:39:14,085
- When can I meet him?
- Uh, well, you can't.

648
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:17,653
- Why not?
- Yeah, why not?

649
00:39:17,688 --> 00:39:20,825
It would be so fun if you brought
Calvin around to meet the family.

650
00:39:20,860 --> 00:39:22,860
I mean, you and Mom
could go on a double date.

651
00:39:22,895 --> 00:39:25,661
Yes, yes.

652
00:39:25,696 --> 00:39:28,666
You should always
believe in your life

653
00:39:28,701 --> 00:39:30,568
with the heart full of love.

654
00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:33,470
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

655
00:39:33,505 --> 00:39:35,740
You mentioned that.

656
00:39:35,775 --> 00:39:37,940
I... In that vein,

657
00:39:37,975 --> 00:39:42,780
I'm actually gonna head out
and go see Calvin right now.

658
00:39:43,948 --> 00:39:45,648
Nice meeting you,

659
00:39:45,683 --> 00:39:50,688
and Mom, it's always good to... see you.

660
00:40:03,501 --> 00:40:06,070
- What is this?
- Is it me?

661
00:40:06,105 --> 00:40:08,971
Not at all!

662
00:40:09,006 --> 00:40:12,777
It's Gena's.
She loaned it to me for the day.

663
00:40:12,812 --> 00:40:14,645
Thought you might like a ride.

664
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:16,445
Did she now?

665
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,482
Well, come on, get in,
let's drive this puppy!

666
00:40:18,517 --> 00:40:21,552
- OK, but I'm driving back.
- Oh...

667
00:40:28,526 --> 00:40:31,562
- Ready?
- Ready. Let's go.

668
00:41:07,097 --> 00:41:11,068
And I... got your Queen.

669
00:41:11,103 --> 00:41:15,039
- What? Oh, no!
- Yeah.

670
00:41:15,074 --> 00:41:17,074
Damn.

671
00:41:22,046 --> 00:41:23,612
Checkmate!

672
00:41:23,647 --> 00:41:26,617
Yeah, you set me up there,
didn't you?

673
00:41:26,652 --> 00:41:28,886
- Just a little.
- A little.

674
00:41:28,921 --> 00:41:31,589
All right. You win.

675
00:41:44,268 --> 00:41:46,136
Whoa! Sorry to interrupt.

676
00:41:46,171 --> 00:41:48,871
That's just gross.

677
00:41:48,906 --> 00:41:50,741
Then again,
kind of not sorry.

678
00:41:52,009 --> 00:41:53,711
Why don't they find a room?

679
00:41:53,746 --> 00:41:56,981
It's his house.

680
00:41:57,016 --> 00:42:00,301
What a clown.

681
00:42:00,336 --> 00:42:03,552
Yeah, ass clown.

682
00:42:03,587 --> 00:42:06,390
- He's weird.
- Ah, he's harmless.

683
00:42:06,425 --> 00:42:09,158
Why does he
live here, though?

684
00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:12,763
I mean, you could afford
this place on your own.

685
00:42:12,798 --> 00:42:14,964
You think?

686
00:42:14,999 --> 00:42:17,301
Nah, I know I could.

687
00:42:17,336 --> 00:42:19,568
Just... That's Jake,

688
00:42:19,603 --> 00:42:21,971
you know,
he's always been there for me.

689
00:42:22,006 --> 00:42:26,176
We've been friends since grade
school and then basketball,

690
00:42:26,211 --> 00:42:28,844
I was point guard
and he was right wing,

691
00:42:28,879 --> 00:42:32,549
all the way through law school
he was always there for me.

692
00:42:32,584 --> 00:42:36,220
Quiz me before exams, take
me out for beers afterwards.

693
00:42:36,255 --> 00:42:39,924
- Even if I always paid.
- I'm sure you did.

694
00:42:39,959 --> 00:42:43,461
Yeah, just...
he's my best friend.

695
00:42:43,496 --> 00:42:47,215
Seems natural
to have him around.

696
00:42:47,250 --> 00:42:50,935
At least until
I find somebody else

697
00:42:50,970 --> 00:42:54,638
to share this place with.

698
00:42:58,309 --> 00:43:00,978
How about you, huh?

699
00:43:01,013 --> 00:43:03,579
Lone wolf.

700
00:43:03,614 --> 00:43:05,316
You like living alone?

701
00:43:05,351 --> 00:43:06,815
I'm not alone.

702
00:43:06,850 --> 00:43:09,753
I have Ripley...
and two million followers.

703
00:43:09,788 --> 00:43:14,024
That's right.
I forgot about that.

704
00:43:14,059 --> 00:43:16,444
Gosh, where do they all sleep?

705
00:43:16,479 --> 00:43:18,829
Ahh,
I keep them in the garage.

706
00:43:18,864 --> 00:43:21,783
Yeah...

707
00:43:21,818 --> 00:43:24,702
Oh, man.

708
00:43:27,338 --> 00:43:29,907
I really like this.

709
00:43:31,041 --> 00:43:32,343
Me and you.

710
00:43:36,046 --> 00:43:37,114
Me too.

711
00:43:38,916 --> 00:43:40,584
Yeah?

712
00:43:40,619 --> 00:43:42,252
Yeah.

713
00:44:05,876 --> 00:44:07,778
I should get to work.

714
00:44:07,813 --> 00:44:09,878
I know...

715
00:44:09,913 --> 00:44:12,182
people need their science.

716
00:44:12,217 --> 00:44:15,319
Yes, they do.

717
00:44:33,237 --> 00:44:36,206
Hey, so when
do we get started?

718
00:44:36,241 --> 00:44:39,176
- With our competition?
- Yeah.

719
00:44:41,245 --> 00:44:42,845
Now.

720
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:44,748
Right now?

721
00:44:46,116 --> 00:44:47,851
Yep.

722
00:44:48,986 --> 00:44:51,455
As of now it can happen
at any time

723
00:44:51,490 --> 00:44:55,290
to anyone on your list.

724
00:44:55,325 --> 00:44:57,611
You know, I still don't
think it's fair.

725
00:44:57,646 --> 00:44:59,862
I mean, you know,
who all my friends are

726
00:44:59,897 --> 00:45:02,366
and I have no idea
who you're challenging with.

727
00:45:02,401 --> 00:45:03,801
Oh, you'll know.

728
00:45:07,438 --> 00:45:09,757
See you soon.

729
00:45:09,792 --> 00:45:12,076
How will I know?

730
00:45:31,061 --> 00:45:32,861
Nice car.

731
00:45:32,896 --> 00:45:34,430
[GenYou liked that, did you?

732
00:45:34,465 --> 00:45:36,800
That's one of the perks
of becoming partner.

733
00:45:36,835 --> 00:45:38,502
Yeah, about that.

734
00:45:38,537 --> 00:45:40,135
I've been thinking,

735
00:45:40,170 --> 00:45:42,172
I can't accept
the partnership position

736
00:45:42,207 --> 00:45:44,174
if it has anything
to do with Lauren.

737
00:45:44,209 --> 00:45:45,774
Really.

738
00:45:45,809 --> 00:45:48,410
Yeah, I want to be partner,

739
00:45:48,445 --> 00:45:50,412
and I sure did like
driving that car,

740
00:45:50,447 --> 00:45:54,349
but I don't want you
suggesting me to the board

741
00:45:54,384 --> 00:45:56,820
for any another other reason
than I'm a great lawyer.

742
00:45:56,855 --> 00:45:59,288
Let's just see
how things play out.

743
00:45:59,323 --> 00:46:03,193
From what I can see, everything
is going according to plan.

744
00:46:03,228 --> 00:46:06,195
OK, Gena, but so we're clear,

745
00:46:06,230 --> 00:46:09,767
I'm not doing this anymore
to make partner.

746
00:46:09,802 --> 00:46:12,970
I'm doing this
because I like Lauren.

747
00:46:13,005 --> 00:46:15,038
Bye, Calvin.

748
00:46:30,020 --> 00:46:32,255
How long have you
and Treasure been together?

749
00:46:32,290 --> 00:46:34,842
I don't know, man,
about two years, I guess?

750
00:46:34,877 --> 00:46:37,359
- You gonna get married?
- I don't know, man.

751
00:46:37,394 --> 00:46:39,229
You know, work's been really
good and people been throwing

752
00:46:39,264 --> 00:46:41,165
an ass ton of money at me
just to get into shape,

753
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:44,199
so we could afford it
if we needed to.

754
00:46:44,234 --> 00:46:47,805
No, I mean, you love her, right?
You want to marry her.

755
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:49,138
I, I don't know, man.

756
00:46:49,173 --> 00:46:50,806
I mean, I guess
I'm gonna have to

757
00:46:50,841 --> 00:46:53,877
if I want to keep her.
That's how it works, right?

758
00:46:53,912 --> 00:46:55,529
Why are you
busting my balls, man?

759
00:46:55,564 --> 00:46:57,112
Did Treasure
put you up to this?

760
00:46:57,147 --> 00:46:59,983
No, no, no, I was
just curious, that's all.

761
00:47:00,018 --> 00:47:01,952
You guys seem happy.

762
00:47:01,987 --> 00:47:03,887
Don't be a douche.

763
00:47:13,931 --> 00:47:16,533
And so it begins.

764
00:47:16,568 --> 00:47:19,101
- Hi.
- Hello.

765
00:47:19,136 --> 00:47:23,006
- Are you Garrett?
- I am. What can I do for you?

766
00:47:23,041 --> 00:47:25,040
Well,
I'm looking for a trainer

767
00:47:25,075 --> 00:47:28,212
and the lady at the front desk,
she referred me to you.

768
00:47:28,247 --> 00:47:30,480
OK, so what kind of hours
are you looking for?

769
00:47:30,515 --> 00:47:32,481
Oh, nothing here.

770
00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:35,519
I actually just bought this
really expensive home equipment

771
00:47:35,554 --> 00:47:37,986
and I have no idea
how to use it.

772
00:47:38,021 --> 00:47:41,523
- Sounds dumb, huh?
Actually, no, not at all.

773
00:47:41,558 --> 00:47:44,127
You know, most people don't get
the full benefit of their workout

774
00:47:44,162 --> 00:47:46,263
because they don't know how
to use the equipment correctly.

775
00:47:46,298 --> 00:47:48,365
Sometimes they hurt themselves
or they hurt other people.

776
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:50,432
- Really?
- That's a fact.

777
00:47:50,467 --> 00:47:52,519
You know, why don't
I give you a free lesson?

778
00:47:52,554 --> 00:47:54,571
Come over here
and show me how you bench.

779
00:47:56,907 --> 00:47:59,009
Yeah...

780
00:48:05,349 --> 00:48:07,551
All right, why don't you
go ahead, and tight back,

781
00:48:07,586 --> 00:48:09,453
stick your chest up,
all right, good.

782
00:48:09,488 --> 00:48:10,953
Grab the bar...

783
00:48:10,988 --> 00:48:14,156
Now go ahead and lift up.

784
00:48:14,191 --> 00:48:17,125
There you go,
down and back up.

785
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,163
Oh that's great.
Chest out, there ya go.

786
00:48:20,198 --> 00:48:22,531
Tight back,
bring it up, good.

787
00:48:22,566 --> 00:48:25,135
All right.
Chest out a little more.

788
00:48:25,170 --> 00:48:28,105
Oh, that's great. Up. Perfect.

789
00:48:28,140 --> 00:48:30,040
I can work with that.

790
00:48:31,041 --> 00:48:32,910
That is great.

791
00:48:37,514 --> 00:48:40,015
She wants you to go
to her place to show her

792
00:48:40,050 --> 00:48:43,387
how to use gym equipment,
and you're buying that?

793
00:48:43,422 --> 00:48:45,554
Seriously, Cal,

794
00:48:45,589 --> 00:48:47,874
come on, man,
you know I'm a professional.

795
00:48:47,909 --> 00:48:50,125
This is what I do
for a living, all right?

796
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,996
I help clients at their houses
all the time. It's what I do.

797
00:48:53,031 --> 00:48:55,632
You need to get your damn mind
out of the gutter.

798
00:48:55,667 --> 00:48:57,634
Douche.

799
00:49:00,037 --> 00:49:01,204
Wow.

800
00:49:16,453 --> 00:49:18,038
Oh hey, man.

801
00:49:18,073 --> 00:49:19,565
Sign here.

802
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,058
Thanks.

803
00:49:26,163 --> 00:49:28,298
Have a good day.

804
00:49:47,417 --> 00:49:49,219
Garrett.

805
00:49:58,228 --> 00:50:00,162
They're going to be
sending a gaggle of attorneys.

806
00:50:00,197 --> 00:50:02,065
It's an important case,
they don't want to screw it up,

807
00:50:02,100 --> 00:50:03,665
so expect a big presence.

808
00:50:03,700 --> 00:50:06,370
Do you really think "gaggle"
is the best collective term

809
00:50:06,405 --> 00:50:08,136
to use for a group
of attorneys?

810
00:50:08,171 --> 00:50:10,707
I'd think it'd be something
more sinister like "murder."

811
00:50:10,742 --> 00:50:12,676
No, no, the crows
have that one.

812
00:50:12,711 --> 00:50:15,045
- Do they? Crows.
- Mm-hmm.

813
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:16,881
What about "onslaught"?

814
00:50:16,916 --> 00:50:18,833
Onslaught! Ah, yes.

815
00:50:18,868 --> 00:50:20,716
Kids... focus! OK.

816
00:50:20,751 --> 00:50:23,687
Uh, you are going to be
staying at the Seattle Weston,

817
00:50:23,722 --> 00:50:26,323
get in Thursday night,
depo is in the morning.

818
00:50:26,358 --> 00:50:27,441
OK, but when
do we get back?

819
00:50:27,476 --> 00:50:28,618
Paul's got plenty
of milk,

820
00:50:28,653 --> 00:50:29,725
but Maddy's got
a soccer game

821
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,995
this weekend and she
is gonna lose her mind

822
00:50:32,030 --> 00:50:34,231
- if I'm not there.
- It's not a problem.

823
00:50:34,266 --> 00:50:35,764
You'll be back Friday night.

824
00:50:35,799 --> 00:50:39,269
I want you to be prepared
but don't over-work yourselves.

825
00:50:39,304 --> 00:50:42,704
Take some personal time
Thursday night, grab a drink.

826
00:50:42,739 --> 00:50:47,511
I doubt we'll have time for that kind
of thing, but dinner might be nice.

827
00:50:49,513 --> 00:50:52,482
Dinner, drinks,

828
00:50:52,517 --> 00:50:55,452
on Thursday... OK.

829
00:51:04,561 --> 00:51:09,699
So, that's 32.50 each
plus 6.25 for your beer

830
00:51:09,734 --> 00:51:11,568
and we can split the tip?

831
00:51:11,603 --> 00:51:13,604
What do you say, six each?

832
00:51:13,639 --> 00:51:15,570
Sounds good. Thank you.

833
00:51:15,605 --> 00:51:18,440
Very precise,
this whole thing.

834
00:51:18,475 --> 00:51:20,208
You know, I never thought
I'd say this,

835
00:51:20,243 --> 00:51:23,413
but I actually look forward
to these business trips.

836
00:51:23,448 --> 00:51:26,483
The crappy bar food,
the cheap wine,

837
00:51:26,518 --> 00:51:30,252
and this... silence.

838
00:51:30,287 --> 00:51:32,756
Ah, come on, you've got
the perfect life,

839
00:51:32,791 --> 00:51:35,225
you've got two great kids,
happy marriage.

840
00:51:35,260 --> 00:51:36,460
I wish I had that.

841
00:51:36,495 --> 00:51:37,626
No, you don't.

842
00:51:37,661 --> 00:51:38,693
What are you talking about?

843
00:51:38,728 --> 00:51:39,779
It always looks like
you and Paul

844
00:51:39,814 --> 00:51:40,831
are having
such a great time.

845
00:51:40,866 --> 00:51:43,633
That's Facebook, Calvin.

846
00:51:43,668 --> 00:51:45,400
It isn't real.

847
00:51:45,435 --> 00:51:47,137
My children are monsters.

848
00:51:49,439 --> 00:51:51,341
We used to have fun though,

849
00:51:51,376 --> 00:51:52,841
back when we had sex.

850
00:51:52,876 --> 00:51:57,247
God, we used
to have great sex!

851
00:51:58,615 --> 00:52:00,550
But you can't have sex
with a baby on your tit.

852
00:52:00,585 --> 00:52:03,552
No, I imagine you can't.

853
00:52:03,587 --> 00:52:05,422
Physically,
it's practically impossible.

854
00:52:05,457 --> 00:52:07,122
It gets in the way.

855
00:52:07,157 --> 00:52:08,825
Unless you hold it off
to the side

856
00:52:08,860 --> 00:52:10,158
which you can practically do

857
00:52:10,193 --> 00:52:12,696
because your boobs
get really long!

858
00:52:12,731 --> 00:52:14,296
And there's the term.

859
00:52:14,331 --> 00:52:15,664
And your vagina
is never the same.

860
00:52:15,699 --> 00:52:18,100
When they say you can
push a bowling ball

861
00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:21,204
through there they're not
kidding, because it gets ginormous!

862
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:23,707
And there's stuff
flying out of there,

863
00:52:23,742 --> 00:52:25,674
stuff you've
never seen before.

864
00:52:25,709 --> 00:52:28,795
Some people keep it,
some people eat it!

865
00:52:28,830 --> 00:52:31,882
OK! You want to order
some coffee here?

866
00:52:31,917 --> 00:52:33,348
Kegels, Please!

867
00:52:33,383 --> 00:52:35,719
I can hardly
hold my own pee in!

868
00:52:35,754 --> 00:52:37,655
My vagina is dead.

869
00:52:37,690 --> 00:52:39,521
I have a dead vagina.

870
00:52:39,556 --> 00:52:42,325
That's a lot of talk
about your vagina here.

871
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,259
Ease up, Calvin.

872
00:52:44,294 --> 00:52:46,796
Your mother's vagina went
through the exact same thing.

873
00:52:46,831 --> 00:52:48,932
Not something I care
to discuss either.

874
00:52:48,967 --> 00:52:51,835
God! These are
going to burst.

875
00:52:54,271 --> 00:52:57,474
Sorry! Yeah,
that one got away from me.

876
00:52:57,509 --> 00:52:59,509
I better pull the plug.

877
00:52:59,544 --> 00:53:01,945
Yeah.

878
00:53:12,589 --> 00:53:16,193
Calvin, you'll never guess
who I bumped into...

879
00:53:16,228 --> 00:53:18,479
This is Brandon.

880
00:53:18,514 --> 00:53:20,695
Coxx. Dr. Coxx.

881
00:53:20,730 --> 00:53:23,565
Dr. Coxx noticed
my breast pump

882
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:26,570
and we got to talking, and it
turns out he's a specialist.

883
00:53:26,605 --> 00:53:30,574
He helps women recover
who have had multiple births.

884
00:53:30,609 --> 00:53:32,509
Ooh! Have a seat!

885
00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:40,282
So, Dr. Coxx,

886
00:53:40,317 --> 00:53:42,719
what are you, like,
a plastic surgeon?

887
00:53:42,754 --> 00:53:44,786
Nothing quite so drastic.

888
00:53:44,821 --> 00:53:47,189
I work with the body
and the mind.

889
00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:49,576
I help women to rediscover
their inner selves

890
00:53:49,611 --> 00:53:51,928
so they can get in tune
with their bodies

891
00:53:51,963 --> 00:53:54,429
and re-awaken
their sexual being.

892
00:53:54,464 --> 00:53:57,233
How does it work? Can
you do me? Can you fix me?

893
00:53:57,268 --> 00:54:00,037
It's a series of meditations
to relax the mind

894
00:54:00,072 --> 00:54:02,771
and intimate massage
techniques to relax the body.

895
00:54:02,806 --> 00:54:06,276
It gets the blood flowing again
in all the right places.

896
00:54:06,311 --> 00:54:09,012
Brings everything
back to life.

897
00:54:10,647 --> 00:54:14,017
So, doctor,
you seem pretty young.

898
00:54:14,052 --> 00:54:15,283
How old are you?

899
00:54:15,318 --> 00:54:16,851
It's true, I'm young.

900
00:54:16,886 --> 00:54:19,654
I graduated college
when I was 16,

901
00:54:19,689 --> 00:54:21,791
and completed
my medical training overseas.

902
00:54:21,826 --> 00:54:23,525
Europe is where it's at.

903
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:26,663
Sex is celebrated
there at every age.

904
00:54:26,698 --> 00:54:28,565
We Americans have
it all wrong.

905
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:29,733
I'm trying
to change that.

906
00:54:29,768 --> 00:54:31,801
A savior of sorts.

907
00:54:31,836 --> 00:54:33,536
Yeah.

908
00:54:35,338 --> 00:54:36,938
I'm sorry I'm staring.

909
00:54:36,973 --> 00:54:40,010
It's just that you have
the most beautiful eyes.

910
00:54:40,045 --> 00:54:41,676
I do?

911
00:54:41,711 --> 00:54:43,780
It's just...

912
00:54:48,351 --> 00:54:50,387
Do you mind?

913
00:54:55,592 --> 00:54:58,526
Yes. There she is.

914
00:54:58,561 --> 00:55:02,465
You definitely have the
vibrant sexual being in there.

915
00:55:02,500 --> 00:55:03,533
I could help you find it.

916
00:55:04,934 --> 00:55:08,436
OK... This is great stuff,

917
00:55:08,471 --> 00:55:10,807
but, uh, Sharon,
it's getting late.

918
00:55:10,842 --> 00:55:12,540
We've got
that early meeting.

919
00:55:12,575 --> 00:55:14,794
We should probably
get your card and head up.

920
00:55:14,829 --> 00:55:17,013
- We've got an early day tomorrow.
- Calvin!

921
00:55:17,048 --> 00:55:19,547
We're work colleagues, no!

922
00:55:19,582 --> 00:55:21,349
Why don't we order
some more drinks

923
00:55:21,384 --> 00:55:24,087
and talk about this some more?
I think it's fascinating!

924
00:55:24,122 --> 00:55:27,322
Yeah!

925
00:55:27,357 --> 00:55:29,691
Fascinating!

926
00:55:29,726 --> 00:55:32,962
The mistake that people make
with their lovers is forcefulness.

927
00:55:32,997 --> 00:55:35,632
You have to approach
these areas tenderly.

928
00:55:35,667 --> 00:55:38,285
You have to gently coax

929
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:40,869
and gently coax some more

930
00:55:40,904 --> 00:55:43,473
so that the body
reaches for it,

931
00:55:43,508 --> 00:55:45,375
desires the touch.

932
00:55:46,476 --> 00:55:49,446
God, that makes
so much sense!

933
00:55:51,748 --> 00:55:54,316
Uhh, wow.

934
00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:58,021
Sharon, look at the time,
we should probably go!

935
00:55:58,056 --> 00:55:59,807
Yeah, we should.

936
00:55:59,842 --> 00:56:01,523
Can I walk you?

937
00:56:01,558 --> 00:56:03,893
No, no. There's no need,
I'll walk her.

938
00:56:03,928 --> 00:56:06,213
Sharon,
is this your key card?

939
00:56:06,248 --> 00:56:08,498
Actually,
a walk would be nice.

940
00:56:08,533 --> 00:56:09,631
Thank you, Dr. Coxx.

941
00:56:09,666 --> 00:56:11,534
But we have that meeting...

942
00:56:11,569 --> 00:56:12,734
in the morning.

943
00:56:12,769 --> 00:56:15,538
Surely there's no time
for a walk.

944
00:56:15,573 --> 00:56:18,859
Calvin, I'm a grown woman.

945
00:56:18,894 --> 00:56:22,145
I know when I need a walk.

946
00:56:23,580 --> 00:56:25,648
- Shall we?
- Of course.

947
00:56:25,683 --> 00:56:27,450
Grab my jacket.

948
00:56:31,588 --> 00:56:35,992
Goodnight!

949
00:56:40,163 --> 00:56:43,767
Tucker Aaronson and Walden,
may I help you?

950
00:56:53,676 --> 00:56:56,578
Uh, let me transfer you.

951
00:56:56,613 --> 00:56:58,848
Wow, those are
some ugly panties.

952
00:57:00,049 --> 00:57:04,119
Yeah, they, uh...
for a case.

953
00:57:04,154 --> 00:57:09,125
We are working on the case of
the terrible granny panties, so...

954
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:13,130
Must be a big case!

955
00:57:13,165 --> 00:57:17,100
It is. It is...

956
00:57:18,701 --> 00:57:20,970
- Hold all my calls.
- OK.

957
00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:28,676
Sharon Gottlieb?

958
00:57:28,711 --> 00:57:31,815
You might as well have told me
that size really doesn't matter

959
00:57:31,850 --> 00:57:35,583
and that the female orgasm
is made of rainbows.

960
00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:40,723
Well, I'm sorry that she surprised
you, but she didn't surprise me.

961
00:57:40,758 --> 00:57:42,090
It's probably been
a long time

962
00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:44,327
since a man has looked at her
like that, you know?

963
00:57:44,362 --> 00:57:46,494
We gave her a golden opportunity
and she took it.

964
00:57:46,529 --> 00:57:51,201
She's clearly a sad woman with a
blown-out vagina that needed tending.

965
00:57:51,236 --> 00:57:55,670
I really wish I didn't know
that about her.

966
00:57:55,705 --> 00:58:00,477
But it's not everyone.
It's not even the majority.

967
00:58:00,512 --> 00:58:02,710
But it is.

968
00:58:02,745 --> 00:58:04,113
That's what
I've been trying to tell you.

969
00:58:04,148 --> 00:58:05,715
You're wrong about people.

970
00:58:05,750 --> 00:58:06,815
It's not that simple.

971
00:58:06,850 --> 00:58:09,686
Yeah, well,
I wish it weren't.

972
00:58:09,721 --> 00:58:12,487
You know, the tragic thing?

973
00:58:12,522 --> 00:58:15,525
That a 220-pound man
wears smiley-faced boxers?

974
00:58:16,926 --> 00:58:20,462
OK. OK, what's tragic?

975
00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:24,766
Well, the tragic thing
is that if you win,

976
00:58:24,801 --> 00:58:29,489
your blog lives on
and you get to write your book,

977
00:58:29,524 --> 00:58:34,177
but you and I get six months,
and then... it's over.

978
00:58:36,946 --> 00:58:39,282
I mean, six months is...

979
00:58:40,850 --> 00:58:42,218
God, that's nothing.

980
00:58:48,057 --> 00:58:50,660
Hey kids, how we doing?

981
00:58:50,695 --> 00:58:53,161
Simon, my man!

982
00:58:53,196 --> 00:58:56,097
We are doing fantastic.

983
00:58:56,132 --> 00:58:59,868
As a matter of fact,
we've got some great news.

984
00:58:59,903 --> 00:59:02,672
That loan for the penis
extension finally came through?

985
00:59:02,707 --> 00:59:05,175
This guy.

986
00:59:05,210 --> 00:59:07,609
No man, um,

987
00:59:07,644 --> 00:59:12,181
Lauren and I
are getting married.

988
00:59:12,216 --> 00:59:15,283
Wow, I mean...

989
00:59:15,318 --> 00:59:17,203
Wow, that was quick!

990
00:59:17,238 --> 00:59:19,053
Yeah. I'm not pregnant.

991
00:59:19,088 --> 00:59:22,625
Well then,
drinks are on the house.

992
00:59:22,660 --> 00:59:23,958
Hey, thank you, brother.

993
00:59:23,993 --> 00:59:26,594
And listen, I'd love to have
the bachelor party

994
00:59:26,629 --> 00:59:29,933
right here at Tucci's. Is the back
room available for Saturday night?

995
00:59:29,968 --> 00:59:31,833
- It's all yours.
- Awesome! Awesome!

996
00:59:31,868 --> 00:59:34,270
And we'll head back to my place
after for some shenanigans?

997
00:59:34,305 --> 00:59:38,172
Yeah, love it.

998
00:59:38,207 --> 00:59:40,509
- Huh?
- Bachelor party, huh?

999
00:59:40,544 --> 00:59:42,777
- Shenanigans?
- Hey, come on,

1000
00:59:42,812 --> 00:59:44,914
what better opportunity
for someone to cheat

1001
00:59:44,949 --> 00:59:46,080
than a bachelor party?

1002
00:59:46,115 --> 00:59:47,649
It's practically
in the handbook.

1003
00:59:47,684 --> 00:59:50,051
- I knew there was a handbook.
- Uh-huh.

1004
00:59:50,086 --> 00:59:52,989
Listen, two of our competitors
are going to be there

1005
00:59:53,024 --> 00:59:54,358
and you only need one
to cheat

1006
00:59:54,393 --> 00:59:55,657
for this competition
to be over,

1007
00:59:55,692 --> 00:59:58,861
so we're going to
finish this this weekend.

1008
00:59:58,896 --> 01:00:00,163
Finish it?

1009
01:00:01,664 --> 01:00:03,698
Well, that's what
you want, right?

1010
01:00:03,733 --> 01:00:06,302
Your name in lights.
Glory, the big win?

1011
01:00:08,071 --> 01:00:10,772
Yeah, all right.

1012
01:00:10,807 --> 01:00:14,010
Saturday bachelor party,
we'll finish it.

1013
01:00:14,045 --> 01:00:16,978
Oh, and, uh, listen,

1014
01:00:17,013 --> 01:00:20,316
I would love
some strippers for Saturday.

1015
01:00:20,351 --> 01:00:23,620
Do you think Corina
knows any of those?

1016
01:00:23,655 --> 01:00:26,220
Gee, probably.

1017
01:00:26,255 --> 01:00:29,659
I thought so.
Resourceful lady, that one.

1018
01:00:29,694 --> 01:00:32,829
You have no idea.

1019
01:00:34,731 --> 01:00:36,766
So, are you just doing this
for the gifts?

1020
01:00:36,801 --> 01:00:38,301
'Cause we could use
a new Keurig.

1021
01:00:38,336 --> 01:00:41,302
- Nah, no gifts.
- Then why?

1022
01:00:41,337 --> 01:00:44,173
Women are happy to stay
engaged for like, ever!

1023
01:00:44,208 --> 01:00:46,009
It's a get out
of jail free card, man.

1024
01:00:46,044 --> 01:00:49,079
Does Danielle know this?

1025
01:00:49,114 --> 01:00:52,080
She doesn't not know it.

1026
01:00:52,115 --> 01:00:55,051
Ahh, Jacob, you are an island.

1027
01:00:55,086 --> 01:00:56,818
So check this out.

1028
01:00:56,853 --> 01:00:59,756
It's the prototype for my
new app, Mars Calling Venus.

1029
01:00:59,791 --> 01:01:01,758
A guy can ask Venus
anything he wants to know,

1030
01:01:01,793 --> 01:01:02,924
and she'll tell him the truth

1031
01:01:02,959 --> 01:01:05,928
about what women
are really thinking.

1032
01:01:05,963 --> 01:01:08,898
So, say for example...
sexual partners.

1033
01:01:11,234 --> 01:01:14,804
The average woman has had
eight lovers, but when polled,

1034
01:01:14,839 --> 01:01:18,740
76% said they'd lie
and answer four or less.

1035
01:01:18,775 --> 01:01:22,412
Naughty, naughty, Venus.
Naughty, naughty, Venus.

1036
01:01:22,447 --> 01:01:24,347
Is that it?

1037
01:01:26,182 --> 01:01:27,949
Well, she gets naked.

1038
01:01:27,984 --> 01:01:30,353
And I loaded her with car
and sports trivia.

1039
01:01:30,388 --> 01:01:32,722
Ed got me a meeting
with some suits on Monday.

1040
01:01:32,757 --> 01:01:34,255
Ooh, I'm going to be rich!

1041
01:01:34,290 --> 01:01:37,760
Did you make her
look like Lauren?

1042
01:01:37,795 --> 01:01:39,961
- What?
- Yeah, you...

1043
01:01:39,996 --> 01:01:42,849
Is that a mole
under her left eye?

1044
01:01:42,884 --> 01:01:45,667
Dude, you have
lost your mind.

1045
01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:49,872
This woman has straight up crawled up
inside your brain and made you go wonky!

1046
01:01:49,907 --> 01:01:52,809
So, party tonight
at Tucci's?

1047
01:01:55,144 --> 01:01:57,062
I'll wear a suit.

1048
01:01:57,097 --> 01:01:58,981
You don't own a suit.

1049
01:01:59,016 --> 01:02:01,718
You own a suit.

1050
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,354
I own a suit.

1051
01:02:09,025 --> 01:02:12,061
I've had a lot of free time.

1052
01:02:16,132 --> 01:02:19,468
There's the three rings
of marriage, brother.

1053
01:02:19,503 --> 01:02:22,805
There's the engagement ring,
the wedding ring,

1054
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:24,841
and then there's
the suffer-ring!

1055
01:02:24,876 --> 01:02:28,342
Boo!

1056
01:02:28,377 --> 01:02:30,780
Boo that man.

1057
01:02:32,281 --> 01:02:34,882
Oh, man, I can't believe
you're getting married.

1058
01:02:34,917 --> 01:02:38,054
You know how long Jenny has been
harassing me to pull the trigger?

1059
01:02:38,089 --> 01:02:39,921
She wants four kids.

1060
01:02:39,956 --> 01:02:41,791
Dang,
that's a lot of kids.

1061
01:02:41,826 --> 01:02:43,191
That is a lot of kids.

1062
01:02:43,226 --> 01:02:46,295
In Korea we have large families
of many generations

1063
01:02:46,330 --> 01:02:48,498
and we all live together
under one roof.

1064
01:02:48,533 --> 01:02:50,465
You grew up in Napa Valley.

1065
01:02:50,500 --> 01:02:52,518
But my people, we...
We started...

1066
01:02:52,553 --> 01:02:54,537
Your parents own a winery...
in Napa!

1067
01:02:59,809 --> 01:03:01,809
So, what flipped the switch?

1068
01:03:01,844 --> 01:03:04,881
What can I say, fellas?
I love her.

1069
01:03:04,916 --> 01:03:06,883
- I hope so.
- Drink to that.

1070
01:03:10,186 --> 01:03:13,354
Mm. What about you, Ed,
do you love Kimberly?

1071
01:03:13,389 --> 01:03:16,993
Um, let me see. I married the
girl when we were 18 years old,

1072
01:03:17,028 --> 01:03:18,860
so yeah, I think I love her.

1073
01:03:18,895 --> 01:03:21,948
No, that's time, man.
I'm talking about love.

1074
01:03:21,983 --> 01:03:25,001
Real love, the kind you
walk through fire for,

1075
01:03:25,036 --> 01:03:27,220
you know what I'm saying?

1076
01:03:27,255 --> 01:03:29,405
Well, yeah.
She's my girl.

1077
01:03:31,107 --> 01:03:33,092
Yeah, she is, right?

1078
01:03:33,127 --> 01:03:35,042
And she's a good one.

1079
01:03:35,077 --> 01:03:37,547
Things have been going great
since I started rubbing her feet.

1080
01:03:37,582 --> 01:03:41,250
Sometimes she'll even put on
her old cheerleading outfit

1081
01:03:41,285 --> 01:03:43,551
- and wear it for me.
- There you go.

1082
01:03:43,586 --> 01:03:46,823
- Jenny thinks outfits are silly.
- Yeah, well, they're not.

1083
01:03:46,858 --> 01:03:49,592
My girl looks pretty amazing
in that outfit.

1084
01:03:49,627 --> 01:03:52,094
Well, that sounds
like love to me, man.

1085
01:03:52,129 --> 01:03:56,097
Cheerleader love.

1086
01:03:56,132 --> 01:03:57,750
Does she still love you?

1087
01:03:57,785 --> 01:03:59,333
Damn right, she loves me.

1088
01:03:59,368 --> 01:04:01,269
What kind of question
is that to ask a man?

1089
01:04:01,304 --> 01:04:03,940
- It's just a question.
- Yeah, come on, why so defensive?

1090
01:04:05,174 --> 01:04:07,375
You boys better
get your heads in check.

1091
01:04:07,410 --> 01:04:11,113
That woman loves me!
She calls me her Eddie Pie.

1092
01:04:11,148 --> 01:04:12,980
What?

1093
01:04:13,015 --> 01:04:15,183
Whoa, hold on,
say that again?

1094
01:04:15,218 --> 01:04:18,920
It's not like an edible pie?
Like a Tasty Pastry?

1095
01:04:18,955 --> 01:04:24,126
OK, Eddie Pie. I mean, it
sounds like you're it for her.

1096
01:04:24,161 --> 01:04:26,896
Like, you are her
White Knight.

1097
01:04:26,931 --> 01:04:29,297
Hmm.

1098
01:04:29,332 --> 01:04:32,451
Black Knight.
I'm her Black Knight.

1099
01:04:32,486 --> 01:04:35,571
- Yes, you are. Black Knight.
- Yeah.

1100
01:04:35,606 --> 01:04:37,106
No, No!

1101
01:04:45,147 --> 01:04:46,899
We're jamming.

1102
01:04:46,934 --> 01:04:48,651
There you go.

1103
01:04:54,390 --> 01:04:56,924
Hey, all I'm saying
is you're a lucky man.

1104
01:04:56,959 --> 01:05:00,363
That sense of truly finding
the one? It's pretty rare.

1105
01:05:00,398 --> 01:05:02,563
Yeah.

1106
01:05:02,598 --> 01:05:05,384
You call it. Do that.

1107
01:05:05,419 --> 01:05:08,135
Maybe four isn't so many.

1108
01:05:08,170 --> 01:05:09,604
Now that's
a butt load of kids.

1109
01:05:09,639 --> 01:05:12,074
- Shh.
- That's a butt load of kids.

1110
01:05:12,109 --> 01:05:15,144
That's a butt load of kids.

1111
01:05:19,515 --> 01:05:21,918
I love you too, baby.

1112
01:05:24,220 --> 01:05:28,207
Maybe when I get home
you can...

1113
01:05:28,242 --> 01:05:32,194
wear that little...
outfit for me?

1114
01:05:32,229 --> 01:05:33,462
All right.

1115
01:05:35,598 --> 01:05:39,201
All right.
Bye-bye, baby.

1116
01:05:41,170 --> 01:05:43,072
It's noisy in there, huh?

1117
01:05:44,373 --> 01:05:46,943
You with all those crazy guys?

1118
01:05:48,144 --> 01:05:50,112
Uh, yeah.

1119
01:05:52,048 --> 01:05:54,984
It's hot in there, too.

1120
01:05:55,019 --> 01:05:57,153
I'm Corina.

1121
01:05:59,488 --> 01:06:00,957
Do you have a light?

1122
01:06:03,559 --> 01:06:06,529
I don't smoke.

1123
01:06:08,230 --> 01:06:11,067
Well,
you look smoking to me.

1124
01:06:13,402 --> 01:06:17,505
OK, OK... what you doing?

1125
01:06:17,540 --> 01:06:19,008
What do you mean,
"What am I doing?"

1126
01:06:19,043 --> 01:06:20,141
I'm talking to you.

1127
01:06:20,176 --> 01:06:22,244
You're doing more
than just that.

1128
01:06:24,613 --> 01:06:27,717
Maybe I am.
Do you have a name?

1129
01:06:28,718 --> 01:06:30,251
I got a name.

1130
01:06:30,286 --> 01:06:33,055
I just don't know
I want you to have it.

1131
01:06:33,090 --> 01:06:34,757
Is that so?

1132
01:06:41,230 --> 01:06:43,465
My name is Eddie Pie.

1133
01:06:43,500 --> 01:06:45,701
I am a Black Knight.

1134
01:06:47,236 --> 01:06:49,238
Goodnight, fair lady.

1135
01:06:54,543 --> 01:06:56,145
Good for him.

1136
01:07:52,768 --> 01:07:54,435
That's better.

1137
01:07:54,470 --> 01:07:58,172
Now...
tell me where you want it?

1138
01:07:58,207 --> 01:07:59,809
- I know where I want it.
- Wait your turn.

1139
01:07:59,844 --> 01:08:01,675
It's never my turn.

1140
01:08:01,710 --> 01:08:05,230
- You want to take a shot?
- No, I'm trying to quit.

1141
01:08:05,265 --> 01:08:08,751
Aww. Well, you don't mind
if I take one, do you?

1142
01:08:08,786 --> 01:08:10,587
- Yeah.
- Up.

1143
01:08:10,622 --> 01:08:12,388
Wait. Whoa...

1144
01:08:19,795 --> 01:08:21,595
OK...

1145
01:08:21,630 --> 01:08:25,568
OK, now...
where do we want it?

1146
01:08:25,603 --> 01:08:26,700
I don't.

1147
01:08:26,735 --> 01:08:28,503
Oh, you naughty boy.

1148
01:08:28,538 --> 01:08:30,237
In the crotch, huh?

1149
01:08:30,272 --> 01:08:33,542
That just so happens to be
my favorite place to take it.

1150
01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:37,511
How'd you know?

1151
01:08:37,546 --> 01:08:39,648
All right, now, you
have to be very careful,

1152
01:08:39,683 --> 01:08:42,085
'cause if you move,
it'll spill.

1153
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:44,452
And let me make
one thing clear,

1154
01:08:44,487 --> 01:08:49,825
I am taking that shot,
every last drop.

1155
01:08:51,527 --> 01:08:52,628
Are we ready, boys?

1156
01:08:52,663 --> 01:08:53,694
- Yeah.
- No, no.

1157
01:08:53,729 --> 01:08:55,865
- Here we go!
- Ohh! Ohh!

1158
01:08:55,900 --> 01:08:59,100
Oh! You naughty boy.

1159
01:08:59,135 --> 01:09:04,707
Guess I'm just going to have to
clean you all up with my tongue.

1160
01:09:04,742 --> 01:09:07,309
- Ooh.
- Oh!

1161
01:09:11,881 --> 01:09:13,716
Here's some ice...

1162
01:09:19,555 --> 01:09:22,524
I'm really sorry,
it was just a reflex.

1163
01:09:22,559 --> 01:09:25,494
Would you just make
yourself useful

1164
01:09:25,529 --> 01:09:26,729
and hand me my purse?

1165
01:09:26,764 --> 01:09:29,932
I'm leaving.

1166
01:09:29,967 --> 01:09:31,367
Thanks.

1167
01:09:37,239 --> 01:09:38,908
I didn't want a shot.

1168
01:09:52,488 --> 01:09:55,524
Ooh, boy, you really
screwed that one up, buddy.

1169
01:09:55,559 --> 01:09:57,324
I can understand
you not wanting

1170
01:09:57,359 --> 01:09:59,895
to show everyone Mr. Floppy,
but did you really have to

1171
01:09:59,930 --> 01:10:01,697
knee that poor girl
in the face?

1172
01:10:01,732 --> 01:10:04,233
It was a reflex, man.

1173
01:10:04,268 --> 01:10:06,735
Hey, uh, where's Simon?

1174
01:10:08,771 --> 01:10:11,140
And... Mandy?

1175
01:10:11,175 --> 01:10:13,474
Where are they?

1176
01:10:13,509 --> 01:10:16,011
They went for a walk.

1177
01:10:16,046 --> 01:10:18,514
Wait, you let them leave?

1178
01:10:34,463 --> 01:10:35,831
- Hello?
- Hello, Lauren?

1179
01:10:35,866 --> 01:10:37,331
It's Heather Decker.

1180
01:10:37,366 --> 01:10:39,233
I have the update
on your book offer.

1181
01:10:39,268 --> 01:10:41,971
They like the blog
and your story around that,

1182
01:10:42,006 --> 01:10:43,772
but they caught wind
of the competition.

1183
01:10:43,807 --> 01:10:45,741
They think
that's a better angle.

1184
01:10:45,776 --> 01:10:48,209
Caught wind of it? How?

1185
01:10:48,244 --> 01:10:50,779
Your sister made a call
to the publisher.

1186
01:10:50,814 --> 01:10:53,280
Apparently, she's not
a fan of your blog.

1187
01:10:53,315 --> 01:10:56,552
She's pushing this new angle,
and they like it a lot.

1188
01:10:57,720 --> 01:10:59,853
Gena is not a fan of the blog.

1189
01:10:59,888 --> 01:11:01,922
Why doesn't she just
stay out of my life?

1190
01:11:01,957 --> 01:11:04,927
Did you hear me, Lauren?
They are very interested.

1191
01:11:04,962 --> 01:11:07,896
They are offering
two million dollars for it.

1192
01:11:10,366 --> 01:11:12,800
- Two million?
- Yes.

1193
01:11:12,835 --> 01:11:16,705
But you have to win.
Otherwise, no deal.

1194
01:11:16,740 --> 01:11:19,240
Are you still there?

1195
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:21,160
They want to talk to you
on Monday.

1196
01:11:21,195 --> 01:11:23,045
They want to get started
right away.

1197
01:11:23,080 --> 01:11:25,412
Yeah, I'm still here.

1198
01:11:25,447 --> 01:11:28,450
Listen, that's...
that's an incredible offer,

1199
01:11:28,485 --> 01:11:30,017
that's amazing.

1200
01:11:30,052 --> 01:11:32,020
It's just it takes
the whole thing

1201
01:11:32,055 --> 01:11:33,989
into a completely
different direction

1202
01:11:34,024 --> 01:11:35,958
and I'm not sure
that's the book

1203
01:11:35,993 --> 01:11:37,493
that I want to write.

1204
01:11:39,561 --> 01:11:42,865
Let me think about it
for a couple of days. OK?

1205
01:11:42,900 --> 01:11:43,999
Thanks, Heather.

1206
01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:03,752
- Hey.
- How could you do it, man?

1207
01:12:03,787 --> 01:12:06,620
- Do what?
- You know what.

1208
01:12:06,655 --> 01:12:08,389
I don't know
what you're talking about.

1209
01:12:08,424 --> 01:12:12,293
Did you sleep with her?
Did you have sex with Mandy?

1210
01:12:12,328 --> 01:12:14,930
Look, man, I don't know what
you're talking about, all right?

1211
01:12:14,965 --> 01:12:16,832
I thought you were
better than that.

1212
01:12:18,801 --> 01:12:22,738
Ah! Get out of there, Cal,
stop it! Get off of me!

1213
01:12:22,773 --> 01:12:23,872
You're still wearing
your underwear.

1214
01:12:23,907 --> 01:12:25,775
Yes, of course!

1215
01:12:25,810 --> 01:12:27,608
What the hell, Cal!

1216
01:12:27,643 --> 01:12:30,446
Well, did... did you sleep
with her or not?

1217
01:12:30,481 --> 01:12:33,115
Yeah, I slept with her.

1218
01:12:33,150 --> 01:12:34,948
Look,

1219
01:12:34,983 --> 01:12:38,003
we went down to the river
and we talked.

1220
01:12:38,038 --> 01:12:41,023
After a little while
she made a move,

1221
01:12:41,058 --> 01:12:44,325
but... I didn't want to.

1222
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:48,163
I mean, I wanted to,
but... I couldn't do it.

1223
01:12:48,198 --> 01:12:51,967
I've never cheated on Jenny,
so we just slept.

1224
01:12:52,002 --> 01:12:54,770
What are you laughing about?

1225
01:12:54,805 --> 01:12:58,141
You, man!
You're the man!!

1226
01:12:58,176 --> 01:13:01,442
Oh, God, OK, all right!

1227
01:13:01,477 --> 01:13:04,780
I knew it, I knew you were
one of the good guys, man!

1228
01:13:04,815 --> 01:13:08,615
I knew it! OK, that's two.

1229
01:13:08,650 --> 01:13:10,619
- Come on, baby, yeah.
- All right, all right.

1230
01:13:15,391 --> 01:13:18,058
All right, I believe you.
You know...

1231
01:13:18,093 --> 01:13:20,963
Of course, we'll never really
know what happened out there.

1232
01:13:20,998 --> 01:13:23,900
But if Mandy didn't
get his underwear,

1233
01:13:23,935 --> 01:13:27,203
then I guess we'll say
nothing happened.

1234
01:13:27,238 --> 01:13:30,437
Although, she's quite taken
with Simon.

1235
01:13:30,472 --> 01:13:32,841
She even wants me to let
her know when he's single.

1236
01:13:32,876 --> 01:13:36,445
I don't think
she's his type.

1237
01:13:36,480 --> 01:13:40,015
Yeah? She said
he's the first man

1238
01:13:40,050 --> 01:13:43,786
to ever turn
her down. Ever.

1239
01:13:46,655 --> 01:13:50,659
Hey, you know where I want to
take you when all this is over?

1240
01:13:50,694 --> 01:13:52,626
It's not over yet.

1241
01:13:52,661 --> 01:13:54,428
I'll take you to Paris.

1242
01:13:54,463 --> 01:13:58,734
We can get some striped shirts
and live the life of the mimes.

1243
01:13:58,769 --> 01:14:01,203
Really horny mimes.

1244
01:14:05,541 --> 01:14:08,010
I know it's going to be tough
for you to shut down that blog,

1245
01:14:08,045 --> 01:14:11,945
but, um, you know,
maybe you don't have to.

1246
01:14:11,980 --> 01:14:16,218
Maybe you could just... turn it
into something more positive.

1247
01:14:20,756 --> 01:14:24,226
Well, there's one more
challenger left.

1248
01:14:24,261 --> 01:14:26,660
It could go down
either way.

1249
01:14:26,695 --> 01:14:30,097
Ah, yes.
The good minister Dooley.

1250
01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:33,035
Well, I'm sorry, babe, but
he's a ringer for the home team.

1251
01:14:33,070 --> 01:14:35,469
My man is legit.

1252
01:14:35,504 --> 01:14:38,240
There is no way anyone
is going to convince him

1253
01:14:38,275 --> 01:14:40,693
to cheat on his wife.
Oh...

1254
01:14:40,728 --> 01:14:43,111
People can surprise you.

1255
01:14:43,146 --> 01:14:46,447
Mm. Yes, they can.

1256
01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:49,918
If there's one thing this
competition has taught me it's that.

1257
01:14:52,187 --> 01:14:53,754
Well,
we've decided

1258
01:14:53,789 --> 01:14:55,224
to have the last challenge
at Corina's house.

1259
01:14:55,259 --> 01:14:56,893
I'll text you the address.

1260
01:14:56,928 --> 01:14:58,492
Just tell the minister

1261
01:14:58,527 --> 01:15:00,994
that he should
come by around 7

1262
01:15:01,029 --> 01:15:05,534
and that you have a friend
who needs some guidance.

1263
01:15:05,569 --> 01:15:07,069
We're running
a conversion con.

1264
01:15:07,104 --> 01:15:09,672
A conversion con?

1265
01:15:09,707 --> 01:15:12,206
Listen to you.

1266
01:15:12,241 --> 01:15:14,226
It's a good thing
this is almost over.

1267
01:15:14,261 --> 01:15:16,176
You're turning
into a regular gangster.

1268
01:15:16,211 --> 01:15:19,480
Well, I have a meeting
with the publishers on Monday,

1269
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:25,087
they want to, you know, discuss
the book proposal, details...

1270
01:15:25,122 --> 01:15:26,922
Well, either way,
you're going to have

1271
01:15:26,957 --> 01:15:29,291
an interesting story to tell.

1272
01:15:31,593 --> 01:15:33,996
Hey, you want to have dinner
with me tomorrow night

1273
01:15:34,031 --> 01:15:35,982
while all this is going down?

1274
01:15:36,017 --> 01:15:37,898
You know, we can celebrate...

1275
01:15:37,933 --> 01:15:40,636
either way,
like a couple of good sports.

1276
01:15:40,671 --> 01:15:43,238
Wait for the results
together?

1277
01:15:45,173 --> 01:15:46,675
Yeah.

1278
01:15:48,043 --> 01:15:49,278
I'd like that.

1279
01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:51,847
Okay.

1280
01:15:58,186 --> 01:16:00,187
I talked to Minister Dooley
this afternoon

1281
01:16:00,222 --> 01:16:02,558
and he was all in for
bringing in another lost sheep,

1282
01:16:02,593 --> 01:16:06,762
so... the last competition
has begun.

1283
01:16:06,797 --> 01:16:08,865
May the best man win.

1284
01:16:08,900 --> 01:16:10,933
May the best person win.

1285
01:16:15,137 --> 01:16:16,705
Oh, excuse me.

1286
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,809
Hello, this is Calvin.

1287
01:16:20,844 --> 01:16:22,543
Uh-huh?

1288
01:16:22,578 --> 01:16:25,113
Oh, you're kidding?

1289
01:16:25,148 --> 01:16:27,614
Yeah, is he all right?

1290
01:16:27,649 --> 01:16:30,619
OK, sure. Sure, yeah,
thanks for letting me know.

1291
01:16:30,654 --> 01:16:32,721
Uh-huh. Bye-bye.

1292
01:16:34,356 --> 01:16:36,723
- Wow.
- What happened?

1293
01:16:36,758 --> 01:16:40,295
Umm, Minister Dooley
is in the hospital.

1294
01:16:40,330 --> 01:16:42,195
- What?
- Yeah, apparently,

1295
01:16:42,230 --> 01:16:45,517
he broke his leg
playing hoops today.

1296
01:16:45,552 --> 01:16:48,769
Oh, God, well...
poor Minister Dooley,

1297
01:16:48,804 --> 01:16:51,807
but I'm supposed to be
meeting with the publisher

1298
01:16:51,842 --> 01:16:54,109
on Monday... I can't keep
pushing them off.

1299
01:16:54,144 --> 01:16:55,609
Yeah, I know. I know.

1300
01:16:55,644 --> 01:17:00,349
Um. All right.
We need a new competitor.

1301
01:17:00,384 --> 01:17:03,052
So, um...

1302
01:17:03,087 --> 01:17:05,686
Jacob.

1303
01:17:05,721 --> 01:17:07,389
I'll send Jacob,
it's perfect.

1304
01:17:07,424 --> 01:17:08,956
- Jacob?
- Yeah, sure,

1305
01:17:08,991 --> 01:17:11,126
he's in the dark about
all this like we agreed,

1306
01:17:11,161 --> 01:17:13,261
and he's been engaged
to Danielle for over a year,

1307
01:17:13,296 --> 01:17:14,761
so he fits the bill, right?

1308
01:17:14,796 --> 01:17:18,634
I'll just, uh,
text him that a friend

1309
01:17:18,669 --> 01:17:21,771
needs help
with her computer

1310
01:17:21,806 --> 01:17:24,838
- and we'll see
what happens.

1311
01:17:24,873 --> 01:17:26,940
- It could work.
- Yeah, yeah, it's going to be good.

1312
01:17:26,975 --> 01:17:29,645
It's going to be good. We are
still going to end this tonight.

1313
01:17:29,680 --> 01:17:32,279
Ah, he's free.

1314
01:17:32,314 --> 01:17:38,153
Sweet! OK, let me text him
the address and boom.

1315
01:17:38,188 --> 01:17:42,190
Done. We're back on, OK?

1316
01:17:45,027 --> 01:17:47,027
He's kind of a freak, right?

1317
01:17:47,062 --> 01:17:49,497
I mean, you sure
you want to use him?

1318
01:17:49,532 --> 01:17:51,933
But... he doesn't go
for easy women.

1319
01:17:51,968 --> 01:17:53,986
Huh, so, you scared?

1320
01:17:54,021 --> 01:17:55,969
Right? You're scared.

1321
01:17:56,004 --> 01:17:58,423
You're sensing another W
for team Calvin.

1322
01:17:58,458 --> 01:18:00,842
Don't refer to yourself
in the third person.

1323
01:18:00,877 --> 01:18:03,210
And don't be a sore loser.

1324
01:18:03,245 --> 01:18:06,348
All right? Excuse me,
I'm going to restroom.

1325
01:18:06,383 --> 01:18:08,348
It's a close one.

1326
01:18:08,383 --> 01:18:11,253
Jacob's good. Jacob's good.

1327
01:18:26,468 --> 01:18:31,139
Oh, this is bad,
bad, bad...

1328
01:18:48,223 --> 01:18:49,389
Hey, Simon.

1329
01:18:49,424 --> 01:18:51,291
Can you just, uh,

1330
01:18:51,326 --> 01:18:53,695
tell Calvin that I
started feeling really bad

1331
01:18:53,730 --> 01:18:56,064
and I had to leave
and I'll call him later?

1332
01:18:56,099 --> 01:18:58,366
- Yeah.
- Great, thanks.

1333
01:19:32,934 --> 01:19:35,836
Hey, Simon, man,
did you see where Lauren went?

1334
01:19:35,871 --> 01:19:38,306
She said she wasn't feeling well
and that she'd call you.

1335
01:19:38,341 --> 01:19:41,443
What, she just took off?
Did she look sick?

1336
01:19:41,478 --> 01:19:44,045
She seemed kind of pale,
I guess?

1337
01:19:58,393 --> 01:20:01,596
Oh, wow, Jacob,
hey, come in!

1338
01:20:01,631 --> 01:20:04,765
Hey, tech geek to the rescue.

1339
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:07,402
I don't know, you don't look
like a geek to me, Jacob.

1340
01:20:07,437 --> 01:20:08,902
You OK?

1341
01:20:08,937 --> 01:20:11,406
The computer's just
in the bedroom upstairs.

1342
01:20:11,441 --> 01:20:14,109
O... kay.

1343
01:20:17,946 --> 01:20:19,846
So, where's Cal?

1344
01:20:19,881 --> 01:20:23,201
Oh... Cal didn't tell you?

1345
01:20:23,236 --> 01:20:26,486
Yeah, we broke up
last night.

1346
01:20:26,521 --> 01:20:29,891
Everything was just
moving too fast.

1347
01:20:29,926 --> 01:20:33,261
It's OK though.
We're still friends.

1348
01:20:35,096 --> 01:20:36,965
Really?

1349
01:20:41,469 --> 01:20:43,405
So...

1350
01:20:46,541 --> 01:20:50,245
this is the one
that's giving me trouble.

1351
01:20:50,280 --> 01:20:53,914
So, is it running slowly
or not at all?

1352
01:20:53,949 --> 01:20:56,551
Slowly. But then it freezes
and then I have to

1353
01:20:56,586 --> 01:20:59,154
shut the whole thing off
and start over again.

1354
01:20:59,189 --> 01:21:01,087
It's-it's infuriating.

1355
01:21:01,122 --> 01:21:03,124
It sounds like you just need
to clean up your hard drive,

1356
01:21:03,159 --> 01:21:05,258
maybe run a de-frag.

1357
01:21:05,293 --> 01:21:06,844
Let me clean
some stuff up here

1358
01:21:06,879 --> 01:21:08,396
to see if that
fixes the problem.

1359
01:21:08,431 --> 01:21:10,866
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.

1360
01:21:12,601 --> 01:21:15,871
I'm lucky to have a bonafide
computer genius to help me.

1361
01:21:18,506 --> 01:21:21,276
Yeah, that's me.

1362
01:21:33,288 --> 01:21:35,090
Wow.

1363
01:21:35,125 --> 01:21:36,857
What?

1364
01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:38,610
Oh, your-your shoulders
are really tight.

1365
01:21:38,645 --> 01:21:40,328
When was the last time
you had a massage?

1366
01:21:40,363 --> 01:21:44,264
Oh, my God,
I don't know. Never.

1367
01:21:44,299 --> 01:21:46,167
Danielle doesn't give you
shoulder rubs?

1368
01:21:46,202 --> 01:21:47,168
No.

1369
01:21:50,472 --> 01:21:54,042
Here, unbutton this,
let me get in there.

1370
01:21:57,479 --> 01:21:59,681
Oh, God, that feels good.

1371
01:22:03,218 --> 01:22:04,219
Oh...

1372
01:22:31,012 --> 01:22:34,282
Just need to let
the de-frag run a little while.

1373
01:22:34,317 --> 01:22:35,450
Takes a bit.

1374
01:22:35,485 --> 01:22:38,019
Thanks.

1375
01:22:40,455 --> 01:22:45,627
So, you and Calvin
are definitely over?

1376
01:22:48,530 --> 01:22:52,000
I just want this
whole thing to be over.

1377
01:22:52,035 --> 01:22:54,534
I'm so confused.

1378
01:22:54,569 --> 01:22:58,206
I just...
I can't even think straight.

1379
01:23:00,608 --> 01:23:02,744
Broke up?

1380
01:23:07,649 --> 01:23:10,617
Hey, hey, it's OK.

1381
01:23:10,652 --> 01:23:14,122
Everything is OK.
I'm here.

1382
01:23:16,057 --> 01:23:18,224
Yeah.

1383
01:23:18,259 --> 01:23:20,462
Yeah, you are, aren't you?

1384
01:23:21,663 --> 01:23:25,098
Yeah, I'm here.

1385
01:23:25,133 --> 01:23:28,536
You've, uh, you've been
a great friend, Jacob.

1386
01:23:28,571 --> 01:23:31,071
Yeah? All right.

1387
01:23:31,106 --> 01:23:34,175
I think I understand you
pretty well.

1388
01:23:34,210 --> 01:23:37,612
Yeah, I always
really liked you.

1389
01:23:40,615 --> 01:23:43,149
Oh, um... Sorry, sorry.

1390
01:23:43,184 --> 01:23:47,288
Just my head really hurts.
I need an aspirin.

1391
01:23:47,323 --> 01:23:49,341
You're the perfect woman,
Lauren.

1392
01:23:49,376 --> 01:23:51,324
- What?
- You're the perfect woman.

1393
01:23:51,359 --> 01:23:54,429
I created an app that I sold
for a ton of money this week

1394
01:23:54,464 --> 01:23:57,664
and it's all about you.
The perfect woman.

1395
01:23:57,699 --> 01:24:00,301
I'm going to be rich and now
that Calvin is out of the way,

1396
01:24:00,336 --> 01:24:04,239
I can take care of you
like you deserve.

1397
01:24:04,274 --> 01:24:08,108
Uhh, I'm not
the perfect woman... at all.

1398
01:24:08,143 --> 01:24:11,177
You have no idea
how messed up I am, actually.

1399
01:24:11,212 --> 01:24:14,416
Ohh, I'm so messed up, so maybe
we're perfect for each other!

1400
01:24:14,451 --> 01:24:16,118
- Uh, wait, hold on.
- What?

1401
01:24:16,153 --> 01:24:17,786
I think my phone is... yeah.

1402
01:24:17,821 --> 01:24:20,355
Yeah, I did hear it...

1403
01:24:20,390 --> 01:24:22,689
Uh, oh... Mom?

1404
01:24:22,724 --> 01:24:24,591
- Yeah, I'm, um...
- Lauren?

1405
01:24:24,626 --> 01:24:26,694
You don't have
to tease me anymore.

1406
01:24:26,729 --> 01:24:30,298
I'm already
crazy about you.

1407
01:24:43,211 --> 01:24:46,481
I knew... I always knew we would
be together, I just knew it!

1408
01:24:46,516 --> 01:24:47,615
What the hell
is going on in here?

1409
01:24:47,650 --> 01:24:49,368
Oh, my God,
Calvin.

1410
01:24:49,403 --> 01:24:51,051
Oh... Nothing, nothing.

1411
01:24:51,086 --> 01:24:54,320
Absolutely nothing.
Oh my... I'm so sorry.

1412
01:24:54,355 --> 01:24:59,227
It was the competition
and I was trying to win.

1413
01:24:59,262 --> 01:25:04,132
Uh, isn't life
really a competition?

1414
01:25:04,167 --> 01:25:05,265
Wait...

1415
01:25:05,300 --> 01:25:07,400
Dude, you guys broke up!

1416
01:25:07,435 --> 01:25:09,153
You're a pig, man!
What's wrong with you?

1417
01:25:09,188 --> 01:25:10,872
You're supposed to be
my best friend.

1418
01:25:10,907 --> 01:25:12,839
Ohh! I'm the pig?

1419
01:25:12,874 --> 01:25:14,826
Is that how
we're gonna play it?

1420
01:25:14,861 --> 01:25:16,743
- What about you?
- What about me?

1421
01:25:16,778 --> 01:25:19,681
Oh, perfect freakin'
undefeated Calvin Chesney

1422
01:25:19,716 --> 01:25:22,750
never does anything wrong,
does he?

1423
01:25:22,785 --> 01:25:24,350
Or does he?

1424
01:25:24,385 --> 01:25:27,355
Huh, maybe we should
ask Gena what she thinks?

1425
01:25:27,390 --> 01:25:28,455
Jake, don't.

1426
01:25:28,490 --> 01:25:30,725
Gena?
What is he talking about?

1427
01:25:30,760 --> 01:25:32,392
Don't.

1428
01:25:32,427 --> 01:25:34,629
Calvin slept with your
sister back in law school.

1429
01:25:34,664 --> 01:25:36,731
Oh!

1430
01:25:38,633 --> 01:25:41,202
- Lauren, Lauren, wait a minute.
- No.

1431
01:25:41,237 --> 01:25:43,169
I didn't...

1432
01:25:43,204 --> 01:25:45,538
Why did you do that, man?
What's wrong with you?

1433
01:25:45,573 --> 01:25:48,476
- You should have told her.
- I didn't sleep with Gena!

1434
01:25:50,211 --> 01:25:52,213
- Really?
- Really.

1435
01:25:53,548 --> 01:25:55,115
No, no, that summer

1436
01:25:55,150 --> 01:25:57,252
you guys were all
flirty and stuff.

1437
01:25:57,287 --> 01:25:59,104
You guys acted
like you did!

1438
01:25:59,139 --> 01:26:01,148
No, man!
We went on a few dates,

1439
01:26:01,183 --> 01:26:03,158
but we're friends
for Christ's sake.

1440
01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:08,596
Yeah, yeah, I see what
I did there. Sorry, my bad.

1441
01:26:08,631 --> 01:26:11,799
Yeah, sorry about your lip.

1442
01:26:13,334 --> 01:26:15,403
- Lauren!
- Oh, that hurts.

1443
01:26:15,438 --> 01:26:17,372
Lauren! Lauren?

1444
01:26:25,313 --> 01:26:26,613
Are you OK? What happened?

1445
01:26:26,648 --> 01:26:27,949
Why didn't you tell me
the truth?

1446
01:26:27,984 --> 01:26:30,550
What? Oh no, no, no, no.

1447
01:26:30,585 --> 01:26:33,588
He... Look, he told me
as soon as he met you

1448
01:26:33,623 --> 01:26:35,155
that he didn't want
to make partner

1449
01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:36,691
just for getting you
to shut the blog down.

1450
01:26:36,726 --> 01:26:37,857
- Wh-what?
- What?

1451
01:26:37,892 --> 01:26:39,759
Oh no, no...
Oh, that's nothing.

1452
01:26:39,794 --> 01:26:42,262
- What's your thing?
- Why did you lie to me

1453
01:26:42,297 --> 01:26:45,266
- about sleeping with Calvin?
- I didn't sleep with Calvin.

1454
01:26:45,301 --> 01:26:46,668
Right, you didn't.

1455
01:26:46,703 --> 01:26:47,734
No! I didn't.

1456
01:26:47,769 --> 01:26:49,536
I... We went on
a couple dates

1457
01:26:49,571 --> 01:26:51,839
- in law school.
- Then why didn't you say anything?

1458
01:26:51,874 --> 01:26:53,425
Because I didn't think
you needed to know.

1459
01:26:53,460 --> 01:26:55,052
It was a long time ago,
it was nothing!

1460
01:26:55,087 --> 01:26:56,644
You know, Gena,
you're such a slut.

1461
01:26:56,679 --> 01:26:58,311
Excuse me?

1462
01:26:58,346 --> 01:26:59,914
I enjoy my life
the way it is,

1463
01:26:59,949 --> 01:27:01,616
and I don't need
to answer to you,

1464
01:27:01,651 --> 01:27:03,249
and I didn't sleep
with Calvin.

1465
01:27:03,284 --> 01:27:05,720
Why would you send me someone
you know is so wonderful

1466
01:27:05,755 --> 01:27:07,789
you know I would
fall in love with him?

1467
01:27:07,824 --> 01:27:09,824
What, are you-are you
trying to hurt me?

1468
01:27:09,859 --> 01:27:12,458
I'm sorry.

1469
01:27:12,493 --> 01:27:13,960
I knew how wonderful
he was.

1470
01:27:13,995 --> 01:27:15,697
I knew you'd fall
in love with him.

1471
01:27:15,732 --> 01:27:17,363
I was just trying
to help.

1472
01:27:17,398 --> 01:27:20,001
Well, I guess your instincts
are about as great as mine.

1473
01:27:20,036 --> 01:27:23,538
You know, I came on
to Jacob tonight.

1474
01:27:23,573 --> 01:27:24,704
What, why?

1475
01:27:24,739 --> 01:27:27,307
It was the last challenge

1476
01:27:27,342 --> 01:27:30,878
and, God, I wanted to win,
you know?

1477
01:27:30,913 --> 01:27:33,465
And I knew he had
a crush on me

1478
01:27:33,500 --> 01:27:35,982
and I knew
he would go for it,

1479
01:27:36,017 --> 01:27:42,423
and Calvin came in at the...
oh, worst moment!

1480
01:27:43,992 --> 01:27:45,925
He's not going
to forgive me.

1481
01:27:45,960 --> 01:27:48,963
- Come here.
I messed this up so bad.

1482
01:27:48,998 --> 01:27:50,865
Come here.

1483
01:28:50,058 --> 01:28:53,327
I'm sorry I called you
a slut, that was stupid.

1484
01:28:53,362 --> 01:28:56,597
That's all right.
It takes one to know one.

1485
01:29:08,609 --> 01:29:10,945
Guess who got hitched!?

1486
01:29:10,980 --> 01:29:12,945
We wanted to call!

1487
01:29:12,980 --> 01:29:17,118
- But my heart could not wait!
- But Alejandro insisted.

1488
01:29:17,153 --> 01:29:21,622
It was a field with a
crescendo of grass for my...

1489
01:29:21,657 --> 01:29:22,922
beloved...

1490
01:29:22,957 --> 01:29:26,794
- So, we got...
- Married!

1491
01:29:29,130 --> 01:29:31,597
Mom, really?

1492
01:29:31,632 --> 01:29:35,935
Oh, no, what happened?

1493
01:29:35,970 --> 01:29:40,508
Oh, you know,
Gena and Calvin...

1494
01:29:40,543 --> 01:29:43,910
Gena, how could you?

1495
01:29:43,945 --> 01:29:48,449
Oh, it was a long time ago,
they just didn't tell me.

1496
01:29:48,484 --> 01:29:49,949
Really, Gena?
Do you have to sleep

1497
01:29:49,984 --> 01:29:54,422
- with every man in Portland?
- I did not sleep with him!

1498
01:29:54,457 --> 01:29:56,691
The thing is, you know,
I just...

1499
01:29:56,726 --> 01:29:58,624
I really love him.

1500
01:29:58,659 --> 01:30:02,730
My heart is, was, so...

1501
01:30:04,399 --> 01:30:05,732
full.

1502
01:30:05,767 --> 01:30:09,137
You know, it takes time
to adjust to the fullness.

1503
01:30:09,172 --> 01:30:11,637
He's probably really,
really hurt.

1504
01:30:11,672 --> 01:30:15,143
Yeah, but the thing is,
did you intend to hurt him?

1505
01:30:15,178 --> 01:30:17,929
- No, no.
- Would you do it again?

1506
01:30:17,964 --> 01:30:20,681
- No, never.
- So, that's fine!

1507
01:30:20,716 --> 01:30:22,548
He will forgive you.

1508
01:30:22,583 --> 01:30:25,820
That's the beautiful fantastic
thing about love.

1509
01:30:25,855 --> 01:30:26,886
You understand?

1510
01:30:26,921 --> 01:30:29,756
Yeah. Well, the thing is,

1511
01:30:29,791 --> 01:30:31,659
he's been lying to me
the whole time.

1512
01:30:31,694 --> 01:30:34,594
So...

1513
01:30:34,629 --> 01:30:35,997
How can I trust him?

1514
01:30:36,032 --> 01:30:39,901
I have an idea.

1515
01:30:39,936 --> 01:30:42,168
Lauren,

1516
01:30:42,203 --> 01:30:44,739
you are going to
have to trust me.

1517
01:30:44,774 --> 01:30:47,707
Oh... trust you?

1518
01:30:47,742 --> 01:30:51,112
Yeah. You're just going to
have to do it.

1519
01:30:51,147 --> 01:30:53,615
And this, all this
needs to be cleaned up,

1520
01:30:53,650 --> 01:30:56,083
uh, Alejandro will you
move the cars outside

1521
01:30:56,118 --> 01:30:58,386
- so they can't be seen?
- Of course.

1522
01:30:58,421 --> 01:31:00,620
And Mom? Help me
close these curtains.

1523
01:31:00,655 --> 01:31:04,559
And Lauren, you just
stay here and stay quiet.

1524
01:31:04,594 --> 01:31:05,691
G, what are you up to?

1525
01:31:05,726 --> 01:31:07,927
I'm the one who started
all this.

1526
01:31:07,962 --> 01:31:11,899
Just give me a chance
to make it right, please?

1527
01:31:16,037 --> 01:31:18,039
OK, do your worst.

1528
01:31:18,074 --> 01:31:19,474
OK.

1529
01:31:52,173 --> 01:31:54,742
Please tell me you didn't
drive over here like that?

1530
01:31:54,777 --> 01:31:57,178
Mm. I took an Uber.

1531
01:31:57,213 --> 01:31:59,011
Good boy.

1532
01:31:59,046 --> 01:32:03,150
Oh, is that what this is...
a work call?

1533
01:32:03,185 --> 01:32:05,553
Yeah, I thought
we could go over

1534
01:32:05,588 --> 01:32:07,887
the husband's testimony again,

1535
01:32:07,922 --> 01:32:10,891
you know, see if there's
anything we missed.

1536
01:32:10,926 --> 01:32:13,861
I don't feel
like working tonight, Gena.

1537
01:32:13,896 --> 01:32:15,194
Yeah, I can see that.

1538
01:32:15,229 --> 01:32:17,632
I'm glad
you called, though.

1539
01:32:17,667 --> 01:32:19,599
I need a place to stay.

1540
01:32:19,634 --> 01:32:22,870
Of course. You know
I'm always here for you.

1541
01:32:22,905 --> 01:32:24,739
You want to tell me
what happened?

1542
01:32:24,774 --> 01:32:27,039
You're really pretty.

1543
01:32:27,074 --> 01:32:29,977
You're drunk. Why don't you
tell me what happened?

1544
01:32:32,580 --> 01:32:39,287
The competition.
The last competition.

1545
01:32:39,322 --> 01:32:41,990
Your sister thought

1546
01:32:42,025 --> 01:32:44,624
it would be a kick

1547
01:32:44,659 --> 01:32:47,662
to challenge my best friend
using herself as bait.

1548
01:32:47,697 --> 01:32:50,698
Ouch,
that must have stung.

1549
01:32:50,733 --> 01:32:52,231
Yeah.

1550
01:32:52,266 --> 01:32:54,468
Did he go for it?

1551
01:32:54,503 --> 01:32:56,671
Yeah, he went for it.

1552
01:32:56,706 --> 01:32:59,972
I don't know.

1553
01:33:00,007 --> 01:33:03,678
Maybe... maybe Lauren's
right about people.

1554
01:33:03,713 --> 01:33:06,331
Did she get his underwear?

1555
01:33:06,366 --> 01:33:08,950
- What?
- Isn't that a rule?

1556
01:33:10,084 --> 01:33:12,051
Yeah,

1557
01:33:12,086 --> 01:33:14,855
but no, she...
she didn't get it.

1558
01:33:14,890 --> 01:33:16,822
- I interrupted them.
- Oh.

1559
01:33:16,857 --> 01:33:22,263
Well, then I guess, technically,
the challenge isn't over yet.

1560
01:33:22,298 --> 01:33:25,164
No, no, it's over.

1561
01:33:25,199 --> 01:33:29,003
Oh. Well, then cheers
to it being over.

1562
01:33:36,177 --> 01:33:38,778
Do you think
all men are pigs?

1563
01:33:38,813 --> 01:33:44,018
I think all men can be
and so can all women.

1564
01:33:44,053 --> 01:33:48,889
It's a choice we make
every day.

1565
01:33:48,924 --> 01:33:52,625
What about me?
Am I a pig?

1566
01:33:52,660 --> 01:33:58,032
I think you can be
if you choose.

1567
01:33:58,067 --> 01:34:00,502
If I choose.

1568
01:34:00,537 --> 01:34:02,902
Exactly.

1569
01:34:02,937 --> 01:34:06,774
Aww, you're hurt.

1570
01:34:08,042 --> 01:34:09,310
Mm.

1571
01:34:10,978 --> 01:34:13,097
Hey, um, you got
a glass for this?

1572
01:34:13,132 --> 01:34:15,216
I hate drinking
from the bottle.

1573
01:34:19,020 --> 01:34:21,287
- Boo.
- Oh, hi.

1574
01:34:21,322 --> 01:34:23,791
It's really hot in here.
I don't think you need this.

1575
01:34:23,826 --> 01:34:25,691
OK.

1576
01:34:25,726 --> 01:34:27,660
You know, Cal,
there is a reason

1577
01:34:27,695 --> 01:34:29,662
you were so willing
to come over here tonight.

1578
01:34:29,697 --> 01:34:34,035
- There is?
- Yeah, you know it, if you think about it.

1579
01:34:34,070 --> 01:34:36,804
If you're honest
with yourself.

1580
01:34:39,674 --> 01:34:41,641
You and me are like
the same person, Cal,

1581
01:34:41,676 --> 01:34:45,312
and people like Lauren,
they have strict rules

1582
01:34:45,347 --> 01:34:48,199
that control their lives,
you know.

1583
01:34:48,234 --> 01:34:51,052
They need those rules
to feel safe.

1584
01:34:52,319 --> 01:34:54,171
And people like us?

1585
01:34:54,206 --> 01:34:55,988
We don't have rules.

1586
01:34:56,023 --> 01:35:00,861
We just listen to our wants
and desires and follow them.

1587
01:35:00,896 --> 01:35:07,001
No right or wrong,
just instinct.

1588
01:35:08,836 --> 01:35:11,303
Shh.

1589
01:35:11,338 --> 01:35:12,907
Wait what was that,
did you hear something?

1590
01:35:12,942 --> 01:35:15,274
There's a TV on upstairs.

1591
01:35:15,309 --> 01:35:17,861
Remember that summer
we spent together?

1592
01:35:17,896 --> 01:35:21,507
- Yeah.
- Remember how good that felt?

1593
01:35:21,542 --> 01:35:25,119
- Yeah.
- No strings, just instinct.

1594
01:35:26,854 --> 01:35:29,023
No one has to know.

1595
01:35:32,727 --> 01:35:34,028
Stop.

1596
01:35:35,329 --> 01:35:38,082
Stop right there.

1597
01:35:38,117 --> 01:35:40,627
This isn't happening.

1598
01:35:40,662 --> 01:35:43,251
What's not happening?

1599
01:35:43,286 --> 01:35:45,805
This! Me and you.

1600
01:35:45,840 --> 01:35:49,143
Because even if nobody knows
that you did a bad thing,

1601
01:35:49,178 --> 01:35:50,710
it's still a bad thing.

1602
01:35:50,745 --> 01:35:54,782
And this, this, Gena,
is a very, very bad thing.

1603
01:35:54,817 --> 01:35:56,716
You know,
you're wrong about me,

1604
01:35:56,751 --> 01:35:59,520
because I believe in love,
I believe in romance.

1605
01:35:59,555 --> 01:36:01,320
I believe
in the soulful chemistry

1606
01:36:01,355 --> 01:36:03,958
between two people
that just can't be explained.

1607
01:36:03,993 --> 01:36:06,492
I believe in bourbon,
you know?

1608
01:36:06,527 --> 01:36:09,246
I believe in black coffee,
strong black coffee.

1609
01:36:09,281 --> 01:36:11,931
I believe in getting
eight hours of sleep at night,

1610
01:36:11,966 --> 01:36:14,885
and doing at least one thing
to better yourself every day.

1611
01:36:14,920 --> 01:36:17,805
I believe the practice of law
is fundamentally imperfect,

1612
01:36:17,840 --> 01:36:20,339
but we do the best we can,
and sometimes we do good.

1613
01:36:20,374 --> 01:36:23,511
I believe that hook-up websites
prey on people's fears of inadequacy,

1614
01:36:23,546 --> 01:36:25,530
novels are always better
than movies,

1615
01:36:25,565 --> 01:36:27,480
and no formula,
scientific or otherwise,

1616
01:36:27,515 --> 01:36:30,785
can determine with absolute certainty
if someone is going to cheat or not!

1617
01:36:30,820 --> 01:36:33,786
Yes, I believe in instincts.

1618
01:36:33,821 --> 01:36:36,824
But unlike you, I know
there is right and wrong,

1619
01:36:36,859 --> 01:36:38,924
and the wrong thing here
is to indulge you

1620
01:36:38,959 --> 01:36:41,796
in whatever this is,
because, A, you're my boss now,

1621
01:36:41,831 --> 01:36:43,796
and as weirdly hot
as that might be,

1622
01:36:43,831 --> 01:36:47,001
it jeopardizes everything I've
worked for and it's also illegal.

1623
01:36:47,036 --> 01:36:49,837
B, if it was ever going
to work out between us, Gena,

1624
01:36:49,872 --> 01:36:52,271
it already would have
a long time ago.

1625
01:36:52,306 --> 01:36:56,377
And C, because you used me for
this stupid little scheme of yours.

1626
01:36:56,412 --> 01:36:58,946
I met Lauren.

1627
01:37:00,080 --> 01:37:02,082
I love her.

1628
01:37:03,450 --> 01:37:05,518
OK?

1629
01:37:05,553 --> 01:37:07,553
I love her.

1630
01:37:07,588 --> 01:37:09,355
She's everything I want
in a partner.

1631
01:37:09,390 --> 01:37:12,057
She's beautiful, she's smart,
she's quirky...

1632
01:37:12,092 --> 01:37:15,129
Yes, she's stubborn, but that's
because she knows what she wants.

1633
01:37:15,164 --> 01:37:18,365
At least, she thinks she does,
and I think that's adorable.

1634
01:37:18,400 --> 01:37:20,952
She loves pizza and hiking
and sleeping in on Sunday.

1635
01:37:20,987 --> 01:37:23,469
Her interests are just different
enough from mine

1636
01:37:23,504 --> 01:37:26,774
that we'll always be able
to show each other new things.

1637
01:37:26,809 --> 01:37:30,044
And I get butterflies when
I know I'm about to see her.

1638
01:37:30,079 --> 01:37:33,498
And no, she's not perfect.

1639
01:37:33,533 --> 01:37:36,882
But she's perfect for me.

1640
01:37:36,917 --> 01:37:40,354
And I don't care what I have
to do or how long it takes.

1641
01:37:40,389 --> 01:37:42,556
I'm going to prove it
to her.

1642
01:37:42,591 --> 01:37:44,990
You just did.

1643
01:37:45,025 --> 01:37:48,262
Congratulations, Cal,
you were the last challenger.

1644
01:37:48,297 --> 01:37:51,498
You had to be, and you won.

1645
01:37:54,335 --> 01:37:56,170
Lauren, hi.

1646
01:37:57,605 --> 01:37:59,171
You love me?

1647
01:37:59,206 --> 01:38:01,609
With everything I got.

1648
01:38:03,978 --> 01:38:05,646
I love you, too.

1649
01:38:08,549 --> 01:38:12,051
OK... OK.

1650
01:38:12,086 --> 01:38:15,990
So, what do you say we put all
this behind us and start again, huh?

1651
01:38:16,025 --> 01:38:18,259
No expiration date.

1652
01:38:23,163 --> 01:38:25,299
To love!

1653
01:38:28,369 --> 01:38:31,038
- He is very excitable.
- He is.

1654
01:39:00,334 --> 01:39:02,201
- Hi.
- Hi, I just,

1655
01:39:02,236 --> 01:39:04,721
I love the new direction
of your blog.

1656
01:39:04,756 --> 01:39:07,683
It's so inspiring,
the book is amazing.

1657
01:39:07,718 --> 01:39:10,611
Life is tough,
but love is stronger.

1658
01:39:10,646 --> 01:39:12,680
A- men.

1659
01:39:14,214 --> 01:39:15,514
Thank you.

1660
01:39:15,549 --> 01:39:18,218
It's so great,
and I love your new vision.

1661
01:39:18,253 --> 01:39:20,219
I really love
being a White Knight.

1662
01:39:20,254 --> 01:39:23,590
Yeah. It's more of an expanded
thought, really, but...

1663
01:39:25,025 --> 01:39:26,692
Never mind.

1664
01:39:26,727 --> 01:39:29,730
- I'm glad you like it, thanks.
- Thank you.

1665
01:39:29,765 --> 01:39:32,733
Hey. Do we have a few more
of those back there?

1666
01:39:32,768 --> 01:39:34,468
Because they are going fast.
Great.

1667
01:39:38,005 --> 01:39:39,171
Hello there!

1668
01:39:39,206 --> 01:39:40,973
Don't tell me
you two read the blog,

1669
01:39:41,008 --> 01:39:44,578
- because that makes no sense.
- Oh... Mom does.

1670
01:39:44,613 --> 01:39:46,113
Hi, Mom!

1671
01:39:49,984 --> 01:39:52,519
OK, you ready?

1672
01:39:54,455 --> 01:39:56,023
Let's do this!