1 00:00:34,936 --> 00:00:36,927 [Music playing] 2 00:01:25,954 --> 00:01:28,320 [Train whistle blows] 3 00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:48,938 Snap out of it, Grubber. Miranda Spear, one o'clock. 4 00:01:50,645 --> 00:01:54,049 - Hey, Oscar. - Hi, Miranda. 5 00:01:54,049 --> 00:01:56,985 - What are you reading? - Voltaire. 6 00:01:56,985 --> 00:01:58,253 You see, Oscar and I were just debating on... 7 00:01:58,253 --> 00:02:00,789 MIRANDA: Voltaire? Really? 8 00:02:00,789 --> 00:02:03,087 That's so cool. 9 00:02:04,759 --> 00:02:09,331 My friends are waiting, so... see you after break. 10 00:02:09,331 --> 00:02:11,266 Sure. 11 00:02:11,266 --> 00:02:13,928 All right. I'll see you, Miranda. 12 00:02:16,938 --> 00:02:19,908 Oh, my God, she's totally hot for you. 13 00:02:19,908 --> 00:02:23,245 She's got friends. You're hooking me up. 14 00:02:23,245 --> 00:02:25,447 I'm not asking her out. 15 00:02:25,447 --> 00:02:28,950 What? Why not? She's perfect. 16 00:02:28,950 --> 00:02:30,752 Did you see her hands? 17 00:02:30,752 --> 00:02:33,622 I... I wasn't looking at her hands. 18 00:02:33,622 --> 00:02:37,159 Experience, wit, intellect... all revealed by the hands. 19 00:02:37,159 --> 00:02:41,296 - Does she have fat hands? - She had hands like a... 20 00:02:41,296 --> 00:02:42,831 Like a steel worker? 21 00:02:42,831 --> 00:02:47,369 She had hands like a... 22 00:02:47,369 --> 00:02:48,961 child. 23 00:02:50,772 --> 00:02:53,175 [Man singing in French] 24 00:02:53,175 --> 00:02:55,877 CHARLIE: I worry about you. Oscar I really do 25 00:02:55,877 --> 00:02:58,647 Why, because I'm interested in more than websites? 26 00:02:58,647 --> 00:03:00,415 Because you're fetishizing hands. 27 00:03:00,415 --> 00:03:01,850 OSCAR: I wouldn't call it a fetish. 28 00:03:01,850 --> 00:03:04,786 CHARLIE: You find reasons not to like things. 29 00:03:04,786 --> 00:03:08,590 - That's not true. Like what? - Like Miranda Spear. 30 00:03:08,590 --> 00:03:10,926 Like simple explanations. 31 00:03:10,926 --> 00:03:12,928 I like things I don't understand. 32 00:03:12,928 --> 00:03:14,563 You're never gonna get laid that way. 33 00:03:14,563 --> 00:03:16,698 It's not all about getting laid, Charlie. 34 00:03:16,698 --> 00:03:18,633 - Yeah, it is. - No, it isn't. 35 00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:19,834 It is so. 36 00:03:19,834 --> 00:03:23,271 - What about love? - Yeah. I've heard of it. 37 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,466 It's not like you're in love with someone. 38 00:03:28,810 --> 00:03:32,681 I knew something was up. 39 00:03:32,681 --> 00:03:35,684 Wow. The Grubber, in love. 40 00:03:35,684 --> 00:03:37,519 W ho thoe hoell s t? 41 00:03:37,519 --> 00:03:38,884 Someone I've known for a while. 42 00:03:40,956 --> 00:03:42,324 Do I know her? 43 00:03:42,324 --> 00:03:45,555 She doesn't even know... yet. 44 00:03:46,795 --> 00:03:48,597 All right. 45 00:03:48,597 --> 00:03:50,498 When do you plan on telling her? 46 00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:53,301 That's the thing. I want to find the right time. 47 00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:56,171 Definitely this weekend. Maybe tonight. 48 00:03:56,171 --> 00:03:57,806 Is she coming over for Thanksgiving? 49 00:03:57,806 --> 00:04:00,575 She'll be there Why? 50 00:04:00,575 --> 00:04:02,077 I'm coming over for pie. 51 00:04:02,077 --> 00:04:04,279 No, you're not. You're not invited. 52 00:04:04,279 --> 00:04:05,837 Grubbs. 53 00:04:18,093 --> 00:04:20,562 - Hi, Tadpole. - Hey, Jimmy. 54 00:04:20,562 --> 00:04:23,932 - Home for Thanksgiving? - That's right. 55 00:04:23,932 --> 00:04:28,169 - What happened to your hair? - I combed it. 56 00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:29,761 Well, I don't like it. 57 00:04:56,097 --> 00:04:58,088 [Soft jazz playing] 58 00:05:00,635 --> 00:05:03,365 [Indistinct chatter] 59 00:05:04,906 --> 00:05:07,142 - Hi, Oscar. - Oh, hi, Mrs. Lodder. 60 00:05:07,142 --> 00:05:08,343 Diane, please. 61 00:05:08,343 --> 00:05:10,078 Diane, have you seen Eve anywhere? 62 00:05:10,078 --> 00:05:11,379 Yeah, she was just here. 63 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,315 Oh, she went to go get some keys... 64 00:05:13,315 --> 00:05:15,183 so she could get in the lab tomorrow. 65 00:05:15,183 --> 00:05:17,252 [Horn honking] Ca va? 66 00:05:17,252 --> 00:05:18,446 Excuse me. 67 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:35,270 So, Oscar, can we plan on seeing you at Columbia? 68 00:05:35,270 --> 00:05:37,605 Leave him alone, Dad. He's only a sophomore. 69 00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:40,108 It's never too early to think about college, Daphne... 70 00:05:40,108 --> 00:05:41,576 as it would behoove you to realize. 71 00:05:41,576 --> 00:05:42,744 Actually, Professor Tisch... 72 00:05:42,744 --> 00:05:45,447 I have given some thought to Columbia... premed. 73 00:05:45,447 --> 00:05:46,948 Not history? 74 00:05:46,948 --> 00:05:49,150 - Well, l... - Excuse me! 75 00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:50,885 May I have your attention, everybody? 76 00:05:50,885 --> 00:05:53,388 I'm sorry to interrupt... 77 00:05:53,388 --> 00:05:55,957 but I'd like to make a short Thanksgiving toast... 78 00:05:55,957 --> 00:05:59,394 and then invite you all to commence eating. 79 00:05:59,394 --> 00:06:01,463 First of all 80 00:06:01,463 --> 00:06:04,065 I'd like to apologize to Native Americans everywhere... 81 00:06:04,065 --> 00:06:06,234 for decimating their population... 82 00:06:06,234 --> 00:06:08,536 and basically stealing this country from out... 83 00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:09,971 Stick to antiquities, Stanley. 84 00:06:09,971 --> 00:06:11,906 No, no, no. I'm a traditionalist... 85 00:06:11,906 --> 00:06:14,476 and far be it from me to dispense with any excuse... 86 00:06:14,476 --> 00:06:16,411 to eat turkey and pecan pie 87 00:06:16,411 --> 00:06:20,348 And so, to my recently returned prodigal son. 88 00:06:20,348 --> 00:06:22,350 WOMAN: Hear. Hear 89 00:06:22,350 --> 00:06:24,586 To my distinguished colleagues... 90 00:06:24,586 --> 00:06:28,056 at the Columbia history department and their families. 91 00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:31,025 And, uh... am I leaving anyone out? 92 00:06:31,025 --> 00:06:32,727 Eve. 93 00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:34,729 Yes. Of course Although not here. She... 94 00:06:34,729 --> 00:06:36,064 [Door unlocks] 95 00:06:36,064 --> 00:06:37,998 Could it be? Could it be? 96 00:06:41,770 --> 00:06:44,339 To my lovely wife Eve 97 00:06:44,339 --> 00:06:46,040 Ohh, I'm so sorry. 98 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:50,845 She may be the face I can't forget 99 00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:54,282 A trace of pleasure or regret 100 00:06:54,282 --> 00:06:56,885 Maybe the treasure 101 00:06:56,885 --> 00:07:00,722 Or the price I have to pay 102 00:07:00,722 --> 00:07:03,054 She 103 00:07:04,559 --> 00:07:07,228 She 104 00:07:07,228 --> 00:07:09,431 You turn the corner, then hidden away... 105 00:07:09,431 --> 00:07:11,399 in this small forgotten backstreet... 106 00:07:11,399 --> 00:07:13,234 is this old, old house... 107 00:07:13,234 --> 00:07:16,237 DAPHNE: How's your mom. Oscar? She still in France? 108 00:07:16,237 --> 00:07:17,872 OSCAR: Yeah. She went back a while ago 109 00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:19,407 When's the last time you saw her? 110 00:07:19,407 --> 00:07:22,844 I went back last summer. 111 00:07:22,844 --> 00:07:27,048 [Sighs] I wish I had an exotic French mother. 112 00:07:27,048 --> 00:07:28,917 There's nothing exotic 113 00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:31,252 about mothers who live on the Upper East side 114 00:07:31,252 --> 00:07:32,554 Well, they can be exotic in their own way. 115 00:07:32,554 --> 00:07:37,592 You walk in, and it's a home, a timeless home. You feel it. 116 00:07:37,592 --> 00:07:39,060 It's hard to put it into words, but... 117 00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:42,063 DAPHNE: My mom brings me back the stupidest things 118 00:07:42,063 --> 00:07:43,598 That's not what I'm saying. 119 00:07:43,598 --> 00:07:44,866 There was this lovely fresco that... 120 00:07:44,866 --> 00:07:46,935 - It's very intimate. - Completely out of context. 121 00:07:46,935 --> 00:07:48,670 DAPHNE: Too small or whatever 122 00:07:48,670 --> 00:07:50,605 There was some... 123 00:07:50,605 --> 00:07:52,273 DAPHNE: That's cool You've got. Like 124 00:07:52,273 --> 00:07:55,276 that look. That faraway look That's cool 125 00:07:55,276 --> 00:07:57,938 I've-been-studying for-four-days thing 126 00:08:01,216 --> 00:08:02,547 [Sighs] 127 00:08:10,892 --> 00:08:13,728 It sounded beautiful. 128 00:08:13,728 --> 00:08:16,097 - What's that? - The timeless home. 129 00:08:16,097 --> 00:08:19,801 Ohh. Thanks. Ha ha. 130 00:08:19,801 --> 00:08:23,505 I get a little caught up in the whole... I don't know. 131 00:08:23,505 --> 00:08:24,772 No, no. That's good. 132 00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:26,407 It's good to get caught up... 133 00:08:26,407 --> 00:08:28,109 in the feeling of something, the aura. 134 00:08:28,109 --> 00:08:30,912 I mean, if everything could be reduced... 135 00:08:30,912 --> 00:08:32,780 to verbalizable facts... 136 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:35,248 we wouldn't have any need for music, would we? 137 00:08:37,285 --> 00:08:41,189 You might have a point there. 138 00:08:41,189 --> 00:08:42,924 Of course I have a point. 139 00:08:42,924 --> 00:08:45,627 The timeless home, that's like... 140 00:08:45,627 --> 00:08:49,998 the title of some great lost Puccini operetta. 141 00:08:49,998 --> 00:08:53,234 You're sweet, you know that? 142 00:08:53,234 --> 00:08:54,435 [Pouring wine] 143 00:08:54,435 --> 00:08:56,604 So, how are things at... at Chauncey? 144 00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:58,573 Not bad 145 00:08:58,573 --> 00:09:01,042 Any girls there? 146 00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:02,577 Sure, there are girls. 147 00:09:02,577 --> 00:09:05,213 Well? Any you like? 148 00:09:05,213 --> 00:09:06,581 Well, they're mostly pretty dumb. 149 00:09:06,581 --> 00:09:09,717 They can't all be dumb. 150 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,618 It just seems like they haven't lived that much, you know? 151 00:09:13,955 --> 00:09:17,325 Well, we're talking about sophomores, right? 152 00:09:17,325 --> 00:09:18,793 Yeah. 153 00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:21,396 Maybe you should give them a chance, Oscar. 154 00:09:21,396 --> 00:09:26,534 I mean, they might've lived more than you think. 155 00:09:26,534 --> 00:09:29,437 Sure. 156 00:09:29,437 --> 00:09:34,033 You have high expectations, don't you, Oscar? 157 00:09:39,948 --> 00:09:41,609 Hey. 158 00:09:43,918 --> 00:09:46,220 - How are you? - Good. 159 00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:49,257 [Footsteps] 160 00:09:49,257 --> 00:09:51,492 That's better. 161 00:09:51,492 --> 00:09:54,462 Don't want back problems before you're forty. 162 00:09:54,462 --> 00:09:57,932 So, how's the chiropody business? 163 00:09:57,932 --> 00:10:00,335 Chiropody is feet. 164 00:10:00,335 --> 00:10:02,437 Chiropractic? 165 00:10:02,437 --> 00:10:05,773 It's pretty good. I stare at backs all day. 166 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,376 You can tell a lot about a person by their back. 167 00:10:08,376 --> 00:10:11,946 I've always thought of my spine as incredibly personal. 168 00:10:11,946 --> 00:10:14,482 I don't think I could show my spine to just anyone. 169 00:10:14,482 --> 00:10:17,051 Maybe if you were in enough pain, you could. 170 00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:18,620 Not even then, maybe. 171 00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:20,355 Throw a couple cubes in there, would you, Diane? 172 00:10:20,355 --> 00:10:21,556 Sure. 173 00:10:21,556 --> 00:10:23,391 How's that endodontist of yours? 174 00:10:23,391 --> 00:10:25,593 Great. 175 00:10:25,593 --> 00:10:28,096 I have a wicked crush... 176 00:10:28,096 --> 00:10:32,066 on your stepmother's best friend. 177 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,434 Oscar. 178 00:10:33,434 --> 00:10:35,868 I know, Professor Sherman. 179 00:10:40,408 --> 00:10:43,244 Isn't it obvious? 180 00:10:43,244 --> 00:10:45,279 What is this? 181 00:10:45,279 --> 00:10:47,815 Voltaire? 182 00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,150 Oscar 183 00:10:49,150 --> 00:10:50,652 Voltaire said... 184 00:10:50,652 --> 00:10:55,156 "If God did not exist, he would have to be invented." 185 00:10:55,156 --> 00:10:57,056 He was a funny guy. 186 00:10:58,793 --> 00:10:59,885 STANLEY: Oscar! 187 00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:03,954 Excuse me. 188 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:10,271 Professor Tisch wants to stay and gossip... 189 00:11:10,271 --> 00:11:11,773 about our colleagues a little longer. 190 00:11:11,773 --> 00:11:14,208 - Will you walk Daphne home? - Dad, no. 191 00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:16,778 Daphne's been taking the subway since she was eight. 192 00:11:16,778 --> 00:11:18,713 She's a good-looking girl, don't you think? 193 00:11:18,713 --> 00:11:19,914 She's all right. 194 00:11:19,914 --> 00:11:21,783 Well, it would be a nice gesture. 195 00:11:21,783 --> 00:11:24,619 An empty gesture. No, Dad. I'm fatigued this evening. 196 00:11:24,619 --> 00:11:26,521 I've been on trains, in cars. 197 00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:28,823 I've had two lengthy debates on Voltaire and Henry Miller... 198 00:11:28,823 --> 00:11:30,591 both of which I won, incidentally. 199 00:11:30,591 --> 00:11:32,694 I haven't unpacked yet, got a lot of things to do... 200 00:11:32,694 --> 00:11:33,895 and I'm not gonna stand here... 201 00:11:33,895 --> 00:11:35,830 and argue about it with you, all right? 202 00:11:35,830 --> 00:11:39,300 Do you wanna go with me to the Moby concert on Sunday? 203 00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:42,136 Not really. 204 00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,839 I don't go in much for contemporary pop music. 205 00:11:44,839 --> 00:11:47,308 What do you go in for? 206 00:11:47,308 --> 00:11:48,976 You know, regular stuff. 207 00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:51,646 Oscar, contemporary pop music... 208 00:11:51,646 --> 00:11:54,716 is regular stuff for a fifteen-year-old. 209 00:11:54,716 --> 00:11:57,719 Voltaire or whatever is not regular. 210 00:11:57,719 --> 00:12:01,923 - Well, we differ. - Yeah. 211 00:12:01,923 --> 00:12:03,257 God, you're like a forty-year-old... 212 00:12:03,257 --> 00:12:05,760 trapped in a fifteen-year-old's body. 213 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,321 - I mean, it's not a bad body... - Taxi! 214 00:12:13,468 --> 00:12:14,769 Hold on. 215 00:12:14,769 --> 00:12:16,634 Come on. 216 00:12:19,607 --> 00:12:21,709 I live six blocks from here. 217 00:12:21,709 --> 00:12:23,074 It's cold. 218 00:12:24,212 --> 00:12:27,348 78th and Lex. I have to wake up early. 219 00:12:27,348 --> 00:12:29,183 You are so weird. 220 00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:30,707 OK. Safe trip. 221 00:12:44,432 --> 00:12:47,424 [Romantic song playing on jukebox] 222 00:12:51,806 --> 00:12:53,967 Hey, happy Thanksgiving, pal. 223 00:12:55,810 --> 00:12:59,746 [Woman on jukebox singing in French] 224 00:13:08,422 --> 00:13:10,925 Say, how old are you, anyway? 225 00:13:10,925 --> 00:13:13,694 Forty. 226 00:13:13,694 --> 00:13:15,093 Me, too. 227 00:13:16,597 --> 00:13:18,599 Doesn't it suck? 228 00:13:18,599 --> 00:13:20,768 Ah, it's not so bad. 229 00:13:20,768 --> 00:13:23,171 Your wife probably didn't leave you 230 00:13:23,171 --> 00:13:26,307 I'm not married, actually. 231 00:13:26,307 --> 00:13:31,112 Well, don't wait too long. All the best ones get taken. 232 00:13:31,112 --> 00:13:33,580 I hear you there. 233 00:13:41,455 --> 00:13:45,118 I adore French songs of this period. 234 00:13:48,296 --> 00:13:50,298 You're not French. 235 00:13:50,298 --> 00:13:53,467 - It's part of my act. - What act? 236 00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:56,137 You gonna buy me a drink? 237 00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:58,901 Bob, the lady's dry. 238 00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:03,240 Well, I got to go feed the cat. 239 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,982 Why so glum, chum? 240 00:14:07,982 --> 00:14:11,419 I have high expectations. 241 00:14:11,419 --> 00:14:13,284 Yeah, I know what you mean. 242 00:14:24,165 --> 00:14:26,463 You have beautiful hands. 243 00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:03,735 Oh, Jeez. Oscar? 244 00:15:05,573 --> 00:15:07,241 Oh, hiya, Diane. 245 00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:09,911 [Sighs] 246 00:15:09,911 --> 00:15:11,779 Top of the night to you. 247 00:15:11,779 --> 00:15:14,348 Oscar, you don't look so hot. 248 00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,083 Oh, don't worry about me. 249 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,519 Hey... oh, careful! Careful. Come here. 250 00:15:18,519 --> 00:15:20,087 Come on. Come on. Let me get you some coffee. 251 00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:21,289 No, no, no. I gotta get home. 252 00:15:21,289 --> 00:15:22,924 No, no. You don't want your father... 253 00:15:22,924 --> 00:15:25,415 to see you like this. Come on. 254 00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:31,866 My wallet was stolen. 255 00:15:31,866 --> 00:15:34,936 - You got mugged? - Sort of. 256 00:15:34,936 --> 00:15:36,437 What do you mean, "Sort of"? 257 00:15:36,437 --> 00:15:38,428 She was very pleasant about it. 258 00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:47,270 - Take your coat? - No. 259 00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:54,118 Well, come in. Make yourself comfortable. 260 00:16:00,728 --> 00:16:04,231 Ohh. It got chilly in here. 261 00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:05,900 Hey, that's Eve's scarf. 262 00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:07,935 Yeah, I know. I like it. 263 00:16:07,935 --> 00:16:09,766 I might forget to give it back. 264 00:16:28,923 --> 00:16:32,927 Ohh! Oh, dear. 265 00:16:32,927 --> 00:16:35,963 OK. What hurts? 266 00:16:35,963 --> 00:16:37,798 OSCAR: Everything. 267 00:16:37,798 --> 00:16:39,133 OK. 268 00:16:39,133 --> 00:16:40,964 [Sighs] 269 00:16:46,807 --> 00:16:48,809 - Diane? - Mm-hmm? 270 00:16:48,809 --> 00:16:50,344 What's it like being forty? 271 00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:51,946 [Chuckles] 272 00:16:51,946 --> 00:16:54,215 Not as bad as people make out. 273 00:16:54,215 --> 00:16:57,418 Except everyone you know seems kind of tired. 274 00:16:57,418 --> 00:16:58,619 Worn out, you mean? 275 00:16:58,619 --> 00:17:02,556 Yeah, like they've seen it all before. 276 00:17:02,556 --> 00:17:04,892 Eve's not like that. 277 00:17:04,892 --> 00:17:10,231 No, Eve's not like that. And you're not like that. 278 00:17:10,231 --> 00:17:12,066 It's nice. 279 00:17:12,066 --> 00:17:13,300 You know what? 280 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,666 This is really hard to do with your sweater on. 281 00:17:48,769 --> 00:17:50,259 [Exhales deeply] 282 00:17:57,912 --> 00:18:01,313 [Exhales deeply] 283 00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:11,518 OSCAR: Eve 284 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,537 Ow! 285 00:18:30,478 --> 00:18:32,412 Oh, Jeez. 286 00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:04,374 [TV playing indistinctly] 287 00:19:48,889 --> 00:19:50,391 MAN: Morning 288 00:19:50,391 --> 00:19:53,794 Diane's good, isn't she? 289 00:19:53,794 --> 00:19:57,464 Yes. Yes. 290 00:19:57,464 --> 00:20:00,034 I'm Phil, the boyfriend. 291 00:20:00,034 --> 00:20:04,538 Boyfriend. I'm Oscar Grubman. I'm just a friend. 292 00:20:04,538 --> 00:20:08,075 So, how long's she been doing you? 293 00:20:08,075 --> 00:20:10,878 This was the first time, I swear to you... 294 00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:12,179 and the only time. 295 00:20:12,179 --> 00:20:14,582 You're kind of young, aren't you? 296 00:20:14,582 --> 00:20:18,152 Yes, way too young. Young and stupid. 297 00:20:18,152 --> 00:20:20,354 Pinched nerve? 298 00:20:20,354 --> 00:20:21,755 Excuse me? 299 00:20:21,755 --> 00:20:23,290 Did you twist your neck or something? 300 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:24,692 Hell, I didn't see a chiropractor... 301 00:20:24,692 --> 00:20:25,893 till I turned forty. 302 00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:28,963 Ohh! Yeah. Um, very pinched nerve. 303 00:20:28,963 --> 00:20:31,432 Actually, three of them. Um... 304 00:20:31,432 --> 00:20:33,968 medial collateral, collateral, and hyper collateral... 305 00:20:33,968 --> 00:20:36,370 although the hyper wasn't quite as severe. 306 00:20:36,370 --> 00:20:38,906 So, the old girl give you your money's worth? 307 00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:41,809 Good morning. Didn't hear you come in. 308 00:20:41,809 --> 00:20:43,611 I just got here. 309 00:20:43,611 --> 00:20:45,779 Oscar here was saying you worked him over pretty good. 310 00:20:45,779 --> 00:20:47,314 No, I didn't. I mean... 311 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:50,150 yes, you worked out the pinched nerve in my back. 312 00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:52,786 Yeah, he had quite a knotted muscle. 313 00:20:52,786 --> 00:20:55,189 My God, the pain right here in my shoulder. 314 00:20:55,189 --> 00:20:56,390 Took a lot of work. 315 00:20:56,390 --> 00:20:59,059 Thank God my vocation gives me such pleasure. 316 00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:01,795 We should all be so blessed. 317 00:21:01,795 --> 00:21:03,597 Well, thanks again, Mrs. Lodder. 318 00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:05,132 I'll put that check in the mail pronto. 319 00:21:05,132 --> 00:21:06,600 Nice to meet you, Phil. 320 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,102 Hey, you take care, buddy. 321 00:21:08,102 --> 00:21:10,237 - I'll walk you out. - Uh, please don't bother. 322 00:21:10,237 --> 00:21:11,431 No. It's no bother. 323 00:21:20,414 --> 00:21:21,949 [Yawns] 324 00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:24,451 Diane, no one can ever find out about last night, OK? 325 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:27,621 - OK. - I mean it. I'm serious. 326 00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:29,390 It's very important to me... 327 00:21:29,390 --> 00:21:33,961 that Eve and my dad never find out about this. 328 00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:36,130 OK. All right. I won't tell. 329 00:21:36,130 --> 00:21:38,599 Good. Phil, either. He's a lot bigger than me. 330 00:21:38,599 --> 00:21:42,303 - Actually, he's not. - Diane, please. 331 00:21:42,303 --> 00:21:44,672 OK. All right. Mum's the word. 332 00:21:44,672 --> 00:21:45,969 Thank you. 333 00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:51,967 Give that to Eve for me 334 00:22:18,272 --> 00:22:21,875 Hey, Oscar. That girl sure was pretty. 335 00:22:21,875 --> 00:22:23,844 Who? 336 00:22:23,844 --> 00:22:25,879 Professor Tisch's girl. 337 00:22:25,879 --> 00:22:29,850 Oh, Daphne. Yeah, I guess she's pretty. 338 00:22:29,850 --> 00:22:32,152 Is she new to the pond, Tadpole? 339 00:22:32,152 --> 00:22:34,552 Don't you sleep? 340 00:22:45,132 --> 00:22:46,793 [Floorboard creaks] 341 00:23:04,918 --> 00:23:07,087 STANLEY: So 342 00:23:07,087 --> 00:23:08,756 Hi, dad. 343 00:23:08,756 --> 00:23:10,781 I didn't hear you come in. 344 00:23:12,426 --> 00:23:15,095 Daphne and I got to talking last night. 345 00:23:15,095 --> 00:23:17,689 Is that right? 346 00:23:19,933 --> 00:23:22,102 Is Eve around? 347 00:23:22,102 --> 00:23:24,938 No She left for work at dawn 348 00:23:24,938 --> 00:23:28,041 Why is she working today? 349 00:23:28,041 --> 00:23:30,411 She likes to go in when there's no one around to bug her. 350 00:23:30,411 --> 00:23:33,614 - So she's by herself. - What's that? 351 00:23:33,614 --> 00:23:35,514 Nothing. Nothing. 352 00:23:48,462 --> 00:23:50,464 Picnic? 353 00:23:50,464 --> 00:23:51,698 Sort of. 354 00:23:51,698 --> 00:23:54,301 But you have time to help old dad... 355 00:23:54,301 --> 00:23:55,969 do some grocery shopping, don't you? 356 00:23:55,969 --> 00:23:57,971 - Now? - Yeah. Come on. 357 00:23:57,971 --> 00:23:59,907 Dad, I thought you were gonna... 358 00:23:59,907 --> 00:24:02,242 take some time to work on your book today. 359 00:24:02,242 --> 00:24:04,077 Well, come on. I mean, that can wait. 360 00:24:04,077 --> 00:24:06,547 How many people really are dying to read... 361 00:24:06,547 --> 00:24:09,550 The Life and Times of Arnobias of Sicca? 362 00:24:09,550 --> 00:24:12,252 Well, I think you really underestimate your audience. 363 00:24:12,252 --> 00:24:14,922 There are a lot of Arnobias of Sicca fans... 364 00:24:14,922 --> 00:24:17,090 out there that you're completely unaware of. 365 00:24:17,090 --> 00:24:19,456 - Really? You think so? - Yeah. 366 00:24:20,561 --> 00:24:23,096 I mean, the kids at school... the ones in the know, anyway... 367 00:24:23,096 --> 00:24:24,765 talk about Arnobias of Sicca... 368 00:24:24,765 --> 00:24:27,501 like he was the hip ancient scholar. 369 00:24:27,501 --> 00:24:30,637 - Arnobias. Really? - You picked a winner. 370 00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:33,273 You should feel really good about it and really motivated. 371 00:24:33,273 --> 00:24:36,743 You put it that way. I do feel pretty damn motivated 372 00:24:36,743 --> 00:24:39,880 Either way, we need paper towels, cereal... 373 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,149 and we're completely out of cheesecake. 374 00:24:42,149 --> 00:24:43,750 Dad, I'm not really into cheesecake anymore. 375 00:24:43,750 --> 00:24:44,910 Grab your coat 376 00:24:47,621 --> 00:24:50,257 Taxi! [Horns honking] 377 00:24:50,257 --> 00:24:53,760 - Who is she, Oscar? - Who, dad? 378 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,430 Where did you sleep last night? 379 00:24:56,430 --> 00:24:59,266 I know it wasn't at Charlie's. 380 00:24:59,266 --> 00:25:02,336 Come clean. This is your old man here. 381 00:25:02,336 --> 00:25:04,338 What happened? Did you, uh... 382 00:25:04,338 --> 00:25:08,375 run into some buddies from Chauncey... 383 00:25:08,375 --> 00:25:09,910 go downtown, get a couple of beers... 384 00:25:09,910 --> 00:25:12,212 and stare at the hippies in Greenwich Village? 385 00:25:12,212 --> 00:25:14,581 There are no hippies in Greenwich Village anymore, dad. 386 00:25:14,581 --> 00:25:16,416 What is it now? Punks, druggies... 387 00:25:16,416 --> 00:25:19,086 folk-mopers, cross dressers, bikers? 388 00:25:19,086 --> 00:25:21,421 - Bankers. - Bankers? 389 00:25:21,421 --> 00:25:24,658 - Oh, God, has it come to that? - I'm afraid so. 390 00:25:24,658 --> 00:25:27,422 What a state of affairs. Bankers? 391 00:25:30,430 --> 00:25:32,399 So, where did you spend the night? 392 00:25:32,399 --> 00:25:35,035 I ran into a... 393 00:25:35,035 --> 00:25:37,271 - A girl? - Yes, a girl. 394 00:25:37,271 --> 00:25:39,473 - A pretty girl? - Yes, a pretty girl. 395 00:25:39,473 --> 00:25:42,309 Oh, Oscar. 396 00:25:42,309 --> 00:25:44,978 It wasn't a... you know... 397 00:25:44,978 --> 00:25:46,747 It wasn't a call girl? 398 00:25:46,747 --> 00:25:50,617 Dad! Of course it wasn't a call girl. 399 00:25:50,617 --> 00:25:52,553 What's wrong with you? 400 00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:54,454 Kids are crazy these days. 401 00:25:54,454 --> 00:25:56,657 - I bumped into a girl. - From Chauncey? 402 00:25:56,657 --> 00:25:57,958 Yes, a girl from Chauncey. 403 00:25:57,958 --> 00:25:59,059 Well, what was her name, Oscar? 404 00:25:59,059 --> 00:26:00,227 Her name? 405 00:26:00,227 --> 00:26:02,029 Is it someone Eve and I should meet? 406 00:26:02,029 --> 00:26:06,533 No! I mean, there just isn't any point. 407 00:26:06,533 --> 00:26:11,838 Her name's, uh, Miranda Spear, and she's just some dumb girl... 408 00:26:11,838 --> 00:26:14,408 Hey, have some respect, Oscar. 409 00:26:14,408 --> 00:26:17,377 Maybe this girl's only fifteen, sixteen. 410 00:26:17,377 --> 00:26:18,912 And maybe right now her interests... 411 00:26:18,912 --> 00:26:22,416 are different from yours, but girls have things to say. 412 00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:24,618 They can be funny. 413 00:26:24,618 --> 00:26:27,955 Consider them, Oscar. Listen to them. 414 00:26:27,955 --> 00:26:29,990 So, I should listen to girls... 415 00:26:29,990 --> 00:26:31,224 like you listen to Eve, you mean? 416 00:26:31,224 --> 00:26:32,851 Exactly. 417 00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:21,130 [Birds twittering] 418 00:27:27,914 --> 00:27:31,907 [Man singing "She" in French] 419 00:27:56,877 --> 00:27:58,037 [Pop] 420 00:28:09,022 --> 00:28:10,387 [Clink] 421 00:28:48,929 --> 00:28:50,294 [Clears throat] 422 00:28:51,932 --> 00:28:53,934 Oscar. 423 00:28:53,934 --> 00:28:56,603 What a nice surprise. 424 00:28:56,603 --> 00:28:58,605 I brought you lunch. 425 00:28:58,605 --> 00:28:59,940 You're kidding 426 00:28:59,940 --> 00:29:02,042 Ha ha! 427 00:29:02,042 --> 00:29:04,704 Wait. Wait one second. 428 00:29:09,549 --> 00:29:11,885 Wow. Cookies, too. 429 00:29:11,885 --> 00:29:13,386 Yeah. I know you like 'em. 430 00:29:13,386 --> 00:29:14,853 Thank you. 431 00:29:18,058 --> 00:29:20,460 So, what are you working on? 432 00:29:20,460 --> 00:29:22,462 I'm monitoring the depolarization... 433 00:29:22,462 --> 00:29:24,564 of cardiac myocytes. 434 00:29:24,564 --> 00:29:27,556 Oh. Hmm. 435 00:29:39,479 --> 00:29:40,981 Pericardium... 436 00:29:40,981 --> 00:29:45,619 mitral, aorta... 437 00:29:45,619 --> 00:29:49,156 such beautiful words. 438 00:29:49,156 --> 00:29:51,324 Poetry. 439 00:29:51,324 --> 00:29:54,561 Never thought of it that way. 440 00:29:54,561 --> 00:29:57,330 It's, uh, pretty complicated business. 441 00:29:57,330 --> 00:30:00,500 No. The heart is simple. 442 00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:02,559 Fixing it is complicated. 443 00:30:05,806 --> 00:30:10,277 So, when you're working on... 444 00:30:10,277 --> 00:30:14,014 whatever it is you're working on... 445 00:30:14,014 --> 00:30:15,882 I mean... 446 00:30:15,882 --> 00:30:18,518 how do you see the heart as anything more than a... 447 00:30:18,518 --> 00:30:21,254 - Than a pump? - Yeah. 448 00:30:21,254 --> 00:30:25,192 I mean, in the end, it's just an organ, right? 449 00:30:25,192 --> 00:30:27,961 But, symbolically... 450 00:30:27,961 --> 00:30:30,997 Your heart can fit right in my hand. 451 00:30:30,997 --> 00:30:34,301 The heart is this incredibly smart machine. 452 00:30:34,301 --> 00:30:36,803 It beats seventy to eighty times a minute... 453 00:30:36,803 --> 00:30:38,638 and in the space of each beat... 454 00:30:38,638 --> 00:30:40,974 sends deoxygenated blood to your lungs... 455 00:30:40,974 --> 00:30:43,643 and oxygenated blood to all your organs. 456 00:30:43,643 --> 00:30:45,645 Cut the aorta, and you'll release... 457 00:30:45,645 --> 00:30:47,981 a jet of blood that hits the ceiling. 458 00:30:47,981 --> 00:30:50,650 Now, who needs to use it as a symbol... 459 00:30:50,650 --> 00:30:54,654 when the thing itself is so magnificent? 460 00:30:54,654 --> 00:30:57,145 - The thing itself. - Hmm. 461 00:31:01,094 --> 00:31:03,597 Well, as a symbol, it should be replaced. 462 00:31:03,597 --> 00:31:05,065 The heart's had its day. 463 00:31:05,065 --> 00:31:08,902 Why not the kidney as a symbol of love, or the liver? 464 00:31:08,902 --> 00:31:11,471 Hmm. "You broke my liver." 465 00:31:11,471 --> 00:31:13,974 "My liver aches for you"? 466 00:31:13,974 --> 00:31:16,109 Doesn't rhyme as well... 467 00:31:16,109 --> 00:31:19,079 you know, for country songs and Shakespeare. 468 00:31:19,079 --> 00:31:20,981 Sure it does. 469 00:31:20,981 --> 00:31:22,382 I'm aquiver. 470 00:31:22,382 --> 00:31:25,719 Please deliver. 471 00:31:25,719 --> 00:31:29,018 Deep as a river, my love, my liver. 472 00:31:30,023 --> 00:31:31,324 I just can't... 473 00:31:31,324 --> 00:31:33,126 [Telephone rings] 474 00:31:33,126 --> 00:31:34,787 [Ring] 475 00:31:36,897 --> 00:31:38,498 Hello? 476 00:31:38,498 --> 00:31:42,903 Hi. Oscar's here, visiting. 477 00:31:42,903 --> 00:31:45,505 Yeah. 478 00:31:45,505 --> 00:31:47,841 I know. OK. 479 00:31:47,841 --> 00:31:49,509 Your father says, "Don't forget... 480 00:31:49,509 --> 00:31:51,311 "we're having dinner tonight." 481 00:31:51,311 --> 00:31:53,302 I haven't forgotten! 482 00:31:55,482 --> 00:31:59,953 He says, "Did you ask Miranda Spear to join us?" 483 00:31:59,953 --> 00:32:01,421 - Who? - Miranda... 484 00:32:01,421 --> 00:32:03,423 No. No. Tonight's family night. 485 00:32:03,423 --> 00:32:06,927 Don't worry about that, Oscar. I mean, Diane is coming. 486 00:32:06,927 --> 00:32:09,129 Diane? 487 00:32:09,129 --> 00:32:10,830 And Phil. 488 00:32:10,830 --> 00:32:12,732 It sure would be nice to see Diane and Phil. 489 00:32:12,732 --> 00:32:15,969 Have you met Phil? 490 00:32:15,969 --> 00:32:18,638 I think so. 491 00:32:18,638 --> 00:32:21,107 Well, Phil isn't coming, OK? 492 00:32:21,107 --> 00:32:23,410 Diane likes to keep her options open. 493 00:32:23,410 --> 00:32:27,213 It's just Diane. Right? Yeah. I thought so 494 00:32:27,213 --> 00:32:29,115 [Doorbell rings] 495 00:32:29,115 --> 00:32:33,086 Hey, buddy. Come on in. 496 00:32:33,086 --> 00:32:36,289 - Is Diane around? - She isn't. 497 00:32:36,289 --> 00:32:37,624 Is your back still bothering you? 498 00:32:37,624 --> 00:32:39,459 Well, come on in. I'll give you a rub-a-dub. 499 00:32:39,459 --> 00:32:40,627 Thanks. Anyway 500 00:32:40,627 --> 00:32:42,562 I'd rather not trust my back to a dentist. 501 00:32:42,562 --> 00:32:44,965 The old gal taught me a few tricks. 502 00:32:44,965 --> 00:32:46,466 Why do you call her "old gal"? 503 00:32:46,466 --> 00:32:48,101 You make her sound like she's a horse. 504 00:32:48,101 --> 00:32:50,670 Actually, she's more of a wildcat. 505 00:32:50,670 --> 00:32:52,605 Diane's with the girls down at Payard 506 00:32:52,605 --> 00:32:54,266 if your back's really that bad. 507 00:32:55,475 --> 00:32:59,212 Hey, you know, buddy, you're gonna have to learn to relax. 508 00:32:59,212 --> 00:33:02,113 You're gonna be dead before you reach twenty. 509 00:33:17,097 --> 00:33:18,428 [Car horn honks] 510 00:33:37,484 --> 00:33:39,786 [Piano playing] 511 00:33:39,786 --> 00:33:42,220 MAN: Thank you very much 512 00:33:43,790 --> 00:33:44,958 Here you go 513 00:33:44,958 --> 00:33:47,894 [lndistinct chatter] 514 00:33:47,894 --> 00:33:49,129 No, you didn't. 515 00:33:49,129 --> 00:33:51,097 [Lndistinct] 516 00:33:51,097 --> 00:33:53,767 Is that right? 517 00:33:53,767 --> 00:33:55,200 Diane. 518 00:33:56,803 --> 00:33:58,805 Can I talk to you for a minute, please? 519 00:33:58,805 --> 00:34:01,241 You must be Oscar. 520 00:34:01,241 --> 00:34:03,810 I'm Samantha. 521 00:34:03,810 --> 00:34:05,145 So, it sounds like you have... 522 00:34:05,145 --> 00:34:07,814 some interesting ideas about French philosophy. 523 00:34:07,814 --> 00:34:09,716 Yes. Diane was telling us... 524 00:34:09,716 --> 00:34:13,345 that you regard Voltaire as a comedian. 525 00:34:20,393 --> 00:34:23,029 Well, I think that when you look at his body... 526 00:34:23,029 --> 00:34:25,365 Excuse me. Diane, can I talk to you for a minute, please? 527 00:34:25,365 --> 00:34:27,834 In a minute, Oscar. 528 00:34:27,834 --> 00:34:31,736 Oscar, have some tea. 529 00:34:33,940 --> 00:34:35,942 The assertion that all man's actions 530 00:34:35,942 --> 00:34:37,610 are essentially self-serving 531 00:34:37,610 --> 00:34:39,946 has never been taken in the spirit it was intended... 532 00:34:39,946 --> 00:34:42,515 which was a quote, a quote. 533 00:34:42,515 --> 00:34:44,951 And that's what Adam Smith was really saying... 534 00:34:44,951 --> 00:34:46,286 in The Wealth of Nations. 535 00:34:46,286 --> 00:34:48,288 At least, that's what I've always thought. 536 00:34:48,288 --> 00:34:51,458 - More tea, Oscar? - Thank you, Abigail. 537 00:34:51,458 --> 00:34:54,461 Now, most people are going to tell you... 538 00:34:54,461 --> 00:34:56,463 that Quine's belief in the inherent goodness... 539 00:34:56,463 --> 00:35:00,066 But, Oscar, I don't see how you can dismiss Mirabeau so easily. 540 00:35:00,066 --> 00:35:02,235 Mirabeau never even got out of the gate. 541 00:35:02,235 --> 00:35:04,971 Oh, you naughty girl. 542 00:35:04,971 --> 00:35:07,674 - Where did you find him? - Isn't he lovely? 543 00:35:07,674 --> 00:35:11,778 He's so passionate, and he really listens. 544 00:35:11,778 --> 00:35:13,913 Do you mind if I give him my number? 545 00:35:13,913 --> 00:35:15,215 No. Go ahead. 546 00:35:15,215 --> 00:35:17,884 Oscar, I'd love to chat more with you... 547 00:35:17,884 --> 00:35:21,421 about this sometime or, um, about anything. 548 00:35:21,421 --> 00:35:24,791 I'm pretty busy with midterms and all. 549 00:35:24,791 --> 00:35:27,460 Anything, anytime. 550 00:35:27,460 --> 00:35:29,929 - Bye, Oscar. - Bye, Samantha. 551 00:35:29,929 --> 00:35:31,664 - Bye, Oscar. - Abigail. 552 00:35:31,664 --> 00:35:34,531 - Bye, Diane. - Bye, girls. 553 00:35:37,904 --> 00:35:42,008 Well, Oscar, it was a pleasure to meet you. 554 00:35:42,008 --> 00:35:43,276 Pleasure. 555 00:35:43,276 --> 00:35:46,012 You two be good Heh heh 556 00:35:46,012 --> 00:35:48,537 I'll call you tomorrow. 557 00:35:50,783 --> 00:35:52,952 - Diane. - Mm-hmm. 558 00:35:52,952 --> 00:35:55,355 You didn't, uh, tell anybody... 559 00:35:55,355 --> 00:35:57,790 about what happened last night, did you? 560 00:35:57,790 --> 00:36:00,727 Does it matter if I had? You're a grown-up... 561 00:36:00,727 --> 00:36:02,629 or close enough. 562 00:36:02,629 --> 00:36:04,221 Did you? 563 00:36:07,767 --> 00:36:10,703 I didn't say anything definite. 564 00:36:10,703 --> 00:36:12,305 I may have hinted a little. 565 00:36:12,305 --> 00:36:15,241 Hinted? Why do they need hints? This isn't charades. 566 00:36:15,241 --> 00:36:17,043 What if one of them tells Phil? 567 00:36:17,043 --> 00:36:20,213 - Phil, schmil. - "Phil, schmil?" 568 00:36:20,213 --> 00:36:23,249 That isn't very nice. That isn't very sensitive at all. 569 00:36:23,249 --> 00:36:26,619 Oscar, please. Phil and I are not an item. 570 00:36:26,619 --> 00:36:29,989 Ahem. Excuse me. There's no smoking. 571 00:36:29,989 --> 00:36:31,491 OK. 572 00:36:31,491 --> 00:36:34,227 Forget about Phil. 573 00:36:34,227 --> 00:36:37,764 Diane, I'd like to ask you... 574 00:36:37,764 --> 00:36:39,332 not to come to dinner tonight. 575 00:36:39,332 --> 00:36:41,868 Not go to Cafe Balou? 576 00:36:41,868 --> 00:36:43,503 Are you kidding? Your father's paying. 577 00:36:43,503 --> 00:36:44,704 I want to minimize the likelihood... 578 00:36:44,704 --> 00:36:46,262 of your blabbing to Eve. 579 00:36:48,374 --> 00:36:50,343 Maybe you've already told Eve. 580 00:36:50,343 --> 00:36:52,679 I haven't even seen Eve yet. 581 00:36:52,679 --> 00:36:55,081 Yet? Do you plan to tell her? 582 00:36:55,081 --> 00:36:58,651 Oscar, Eve and I grew up together. 583 00:36:58,651 --> 00:37:02,055 Jeez, the stories I could tell you about Eve when we were 15. 584 00:37:02,055 --> 00:37:03,489 You wouldn't have recognized her. 585 00:37:03,489 --> 00:37:04,657 I don't want to hear it. 586 00:37:04,657 --> 00:37:08,228 When we were fifteen, Eve had this thing for Elvis. 587 00:37:08,228 --> 00:37:10,697 - Elvis Presley? - Hmm. 588 00:37:10,697 --> 00:37:12,699 Flipped for any guy in sideburns. 589 00:37:12,699 --> 00:37:16,069 Sideburns? What's so great about sideburns? 590 00:37:16,069 --> 00:37:17,237 I don't know. 591 00:37:17,237 --> 00:37:19,572 The strangest things made her happy. 592 00:37:19,572 --> 00:37:22,175 She was always happy back then. 593 00:37:22,175 --> 00:37:26,077 Back then? Are you saying now she isn't? 594 00:37:27,580 --> 00:37:31,050 No. That wasn't my intention. 595 00:37:31,050 --> 00:37:32,218 Look. You know what? 596 00:37:32,218 --> 00:37:33,920 Let's just forget it. I shouldn't have said anything. 597 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,088 No. We can't just forget it. 598 00:37:35,088 --> 00:37:37,056 We're talking about Eve's happiness here. 599 00:37:38,758 --> 00:37:41,928 I guess I can confide in you. We're close now, right? 600 00:37:41,928 --> 00:37:44,397 In a manner of speaking. 601 00:37:44,397 --> 00:37:45,932 OK. Ahem. 602 00:37:45,932 --> 00:37:48,935 I don't think Eve is happy. 603 00:37:48,935 --> 00:37:51,971 There's a void. Something's missing. 604 00:37:51,971 --> 00:37:53,740 What makes you say that? 605 00:37:53,740 --> 00:37:56,943 It's a woman thing. I sense it. I feel it. 606 00:37:56,943 --> 00:37:59,379 Plus, last week, she said there was a void... 607 00:37:59,379 --> 00:38:01,414 and something was missing. 608 00:38:01,414 --> 00:38:02,782 Did she say what? 609 00:38:02,782 --> 00:38:05,580 Couldn't put her finger on it. 610 00:38:08,721 --> 00:38:11,986 I wouldn't worry about it. She'll get over it. 611 00:38:17,997 --> 00:38:20,133 CHARLIE: So. Who is this girl? 612 00:38:20,133 --> 00:38:22,402 A friend of the family's. 613 00:38:22,402 --> 00:38:24,003 You gonna see each other again? 614 00:38:24,003 --> 00:38:28,007 Tonight. But her best friend's gonna be there. 615 00:38:28,007 --> 00:38:30,109 Well, is the friend cute? 616 00:38:30,109 --> 00:38:32,111 I wouldn't call her cute, exactly. 617 00:38:32,111 --> 00:38:34,914 I mean, would I like her? 618 00:38:34,914 --> 00:38:37,246 Well, you know, I slept with her last night. 619 00:38:39,419 --> 00:38:40,787 With the friend? 620 00:38:40,787 --> 00:38:42,588 Damn! 621 00:38:42,588 --> 00:38:44,857 Yeah. With the friend 622 00:38:44,857 --> 00:38:46,926 But you don't like the friend. 623 00:38:46,926 --> 00:38:50,096 Not really. Not like that. 624 00:38:50,096 --> 00:38:52,865 But you're going to dinner with both of them... 625 00:38:52,865 --> 00:38:56,202 the woman you like and the woman you slept with? 626 00:38:56,202 --> 00:38:58,932 Yeah. My dad's coming, too. 627 00:39:01,374 --> 00:39:03,934 Nothing's simple for the Grubber. 628 00:39:09,215 --> 00:39:10,850 Talk to me, Oscar. 629 00:39:10,850 --> 00:39:13,286 What's going on here? 630 00:39:13,286 --> 00:39:15,254 I don't know, Charlie. 631 00:39:15,254 --> 00:39:16,889 I found her. 632 00:39:16,889 --> 00:39:18,391 The girl with the great hands. 633 00:39:18,391 --> 00:39:20,193 Terrific hands. 634 00:39:20,193 --> 00:39:21,524 Are you gonna tell me her name? 635 00:39:25,798 --> 00:39:27,367 Eve. 636 00:39:27,367 --> 00:39:29,736 Eve... like your mother. 637 00:39:29,736 --> 00:39:31,537 Eve's not my mother. She's my stepmother. 638 00:39:31,537 --> 00:39:33,095 We're not blood relatives at all. 639 00:39:35,174 --> 00:39:40,380 Wait. So, your Eve is that Eve? Your mother? 640 00:39:40,380 --> 00:39:42,982 She's very wise... 641 00:39:42,982 --> 00:39:45,985 and soft. 642 00:39:45,985 --> 00:39:48,254 Are you out of your mind? 643 00:39:48,254 --> 00:39:50,356 Do you want to end up in hell or something? 644 00:39:50,356 --> 00:39:52,258 Charlie, I love her. 645 00:39:52,258 --> 00:39:56,229 Oscar, Eve is married to your father. 646 00:39:56,229 --> 00:39:59,265 I know, but I sense there's a void there... something missing. 647 00:39:59,265 --> 00:40:01,234 She needs something more in her life. 648 00:40:01,234 --> 00:40:04,795 Oh, and that would be you... her stepson. 649 00:40:07,206 --> 00:40:09,976 I mean, hey, I know you're French, and you have, like... 650 00:40:09,976 --> 00:40:13,513 a different idea of family relations, but... 651 00:40:13,513 --> 00:40:18,050 Wait. This means you slept with Diane. 652 00:40:18,050 --> 00:40:21,454 I realize that was a mistake. She was wearing Eve's scarf. 653 00:40:21,454 --> 00:40:24,157 It smelled of her perfume. I got confused. 654 00:40:24,157 --> 00:40:26,959 Uh... I mean... 655 00:40:26,959 --> 00:40:31,431 Diane's pretty hot... for that age group. 656 00:40:31,431 --> 00:40:34,434 These look fake. 657 00:40:34,434 --> 00:40:36,402 You really fucked up. 658 00:40:36,402 --> 00:40:39,739 Charlie, help me. I need sideburns. 659 00:40:39,739 --> 00:40:42,731 Well... all right. Let me think. 660 00:40:44,444 --> 00:40:46,173 [Dog barks, whines] 661 00:40:49,949 --> 00:40:51,712 [Dog barks] 662 00:41:04,497 --> 00:41:08,868 [Humming] 663 00:41:08,868 --> 00:41:10,236 STANLEY: I know we've talked about it 664 00:41:10,236 --> 00:41:11,404 just being the two of us 665 00:41:11,404 --> 00:41:14,173 but the Shermans love Beethoven. As it turns out 666 00:41:14,173 --> 00:41:16,004 Is it all right with you if they come with us? 667 00:41:17,477 --> 00:41:20,275 Honey? Did you hear me? 668 00:41:22,114 --> 00:41:23,783 EVE: Sure Fine 669 00:41:23,783 --> 00:41:26,018 STANLEY: Norm knows the Galea like the back of his hand 670 00:41:26,018 --> 00:41:29,655 He'll be humming along. Like he did with Carmen 671 00:41:29,655 --> 00:41:31,213 Remember that? 672 00:41:37,196 --> 00:41:39,721 STANLEY. LOUDLY: Eve. have you seen my tie? 673 00:41:41,133 --> 00:41:42,623 Honey? 674 00:41:44,871 --> 00:41:46,038 Honey. I want the tie 675 00:41:46,038 --> 00:41:47,707 the Shermans gave me for Christmas 676 00:41:47,707 --> 00:41:50,835 [Doorbell buzzes] 677 00:41:53,513 --> 00:41:56,141 - Hi. - Hi. 678 00:41:59,051 --> 00:42:00,484 You look nice. 679 00:42:02,154 --> 00:42:06,993 You look, uh, different. 680 00:42:06,993 --> 00:42:08,722 Worse or better? 681 00:42:10,329 --> 00:42:11,497 Very handsome. 682 00:42:11,497 --> 00:42:13,332 You're making me nervous. 683 00:42:13,332 --> 00:42:15,368 Relax. I'll be very good tonight. 684 00:42:15,368 --> 00:42:17,302 Just don't let me drink. 685 00:42:20,973 --> 00:42:22,875 [Sighs] 686 00:42:22,875 --> 00:42:24,043 He looks over at me, and he goes... 687 00:42:24,043 --> 00:42:26,579 "You know, you have really beautiful eyes." 688 00:42:26,579 --> 00:42:29,949 I go, "Yeah, I know that." 689 00:42:29,949 --> 00:42:32,685 But, you know, we're in a movie theater. 690 00:42:32,685 --> 00:42:35,021 There's no way he could see my eyes. It's dark. 691 00:42:35,021 --> 00:42:38,991 So, he goes, "You know what's wrong with the modern woman? 692 00:42:38,991 --> 00:42:40,693 "They're acutely sensitive." 693 00:42:40,693 --> 00:42:44,063 So, Oscar, are you happy at Chauncey? 694 00:42:44,063 --> 00:42:45,665 You already asked me that, dad. 695 00:42:45,665 --> 00:42:48,801 I did? And what did you say? 696 00:42:48,801 --> 00:42:50,603 I said it was OK. 697 00:42:50,603 --> 00:42:52,271 Sometimes you don't listen so good. 698 00:42:52,271 --> 00:42:54,507 So well. Listen so well. 699 00:42:54,507 --> 00:42:57,043 See, you correct, or you add facts... 700 00:42:57,043 --> 00:42:58,277 or you give your own little anecdotes... 701 00:42:58,277 --> 00:42:59,879 but you don't really absorb the reason... 702 00:42:59,879 --> 00:43:01,647 the person is saying the thing that she is. 703 00:43:01,647 --> 00:43:03,849 - She? - Me, I mean. 704 00:43:03,849 --> 00:43:05,718 The reason I'm telling you something. 705 00:43:05,718 --> 00:43:07,753 Hmm, that's interesting. 706 00:43:07,753 --> 00:43:10,790 - And silence, dad. - Silence? 707 00:43:10,790 --> 00:43:12,325 Listen to what it tells you. 708 00:43:12,325 --> 00:43:17,024 Sometimes it's peaceful, sometimes it's a shrill scream. 709 00:43:21,500 --> 00:43:23,661 [Classical music playing] 710 00:43:30,242 --> 00:43:32,044 Honey, this is Bob Spear. 711 00:43:32,044 --> 00:43:33,779 Oh, pleased to meet you. 712 00:43:33,779 --> 00:43:35,381 This is my daughter Miranda. 713 00:43:35,381 --> 00:43:37,450 Oh, how's Chauncey treating you, Miranda? 714 00:43:37,450 --> 00:43:38,618 MIRANDA: Good 715 00:43:38,618 --> 00:43:40,419 - Have a nice holiday. - You, too. 716 00:43:40,419 --> 00:43:41,887 BOB SPEAR: Nice to meet you 717 00:43:41,887 --> 00:43:43,122 STANLEY: Hello I'm Stanley Grubman 718 00:43:43,122 --> 00:43:45,157 Oscar's father. 719 00:43:45,157 --> 00:43:47,259 - Oscar Grubman? - He's here. 720 00:43:47,259 --> 00:43:48,561 STANLEY: This is such a coincidence 721 00:43:48,561 --> 00:43:52,565 We were just talking about you today... about. Uh... 722 00:43:52,565 --> 00:43:55,468 Dad! Dad! 723 00:43:55,468 --> 00:43:57,103 I was just meeting your friend here. 724 00:43:57,103 --> 00:43:58,270 And if you don't mind my saying so... 725 00:43:58,270 --> 00:43:59,739 she is a little firecracker. 726 00:43:59,739 --> 00:44:00,973 OSCAR: I think Eve wants to see you 727 00:44:00,973 --> 00:44:02,975 She has to give you a pill or something. 728 00:44:02,975 --> 00:44:04,577 What pill? 729 00:44:04,577 --> 00:44:05,878 For your condition. 730 00:44:05,878 --> 00:44:07,313 For my cholesterol? 731 00:44:07,313 --> 00:44:09,482 Yes. Yes. Your cholesterol. 732 00:44:09,482 --> 00:44:11,717 I'm sorry. He gets a little confused. 733 00:44:11,717 --> 00:44:14,253 - How are you, Oscar? - Uh, fine. 734 00:44:14,253 --> 00:44:16,153 Happy Thanksgiving. 735 00:44:17,857 --> 00:44:19,859 What are you two talking about? 736 00:44:19,859 --> 00:44:21,827 Colorado. 737 00:44:21,827 --> 00:44:24,591 - What's this about pills? - He's never been to Colorado. 738 00:44:26,165 --> 00:44:28,501 Oscar, you're acting very strangely. 739 00:44:28,501 --> 00:44:30,169 What pills? 740 00:44:30,169 --> 00:44:32,938 Bon soir. Would you like to take something to drink? 741 00:44:32,938 --> 00:44:35,808 May we see a wine list, please? 742 00:44:35,808 --> 00:44:37,443 In fact, forget the wine. 743 00:44:37,443 --> 00:44:39,345 Nobody wants it. 744 00:44:39,345 --> 00:44:41,380 WAITER: What's this? No wine? 745 00:44:41,380 --> 00:44:42,548 Pardon? 746 00:44:42,548 --> 00:44:44,617 The boy, he says you are not in the mood for wine. 747 00:44:44,617 --> 00:44:45,777 Oscar... 748 00:44:49,989 --> 00:44:51,357 Oscar 749 00:44:51,357 --> 00:44:53,225 I'm in the mood. 750 00:44:53,225 --> 00:44:54,627 Me too. 751 00:44:54,627 --> 00:44:56,629 Shouldn't we take a break once in a while? 752 00:44:56,629 --> 00:44:57,863 I mean, what are we, dependant? 753 00:44:57,863 --> 00:44:59,198 We can't have a good time without alcohol? 754 00:44:59,198 --> 00:45:01,291 Oscar, you're making it sound as if we have a problem. 755 00:45:04,737 --> 00:45:06,672 Fine. 756 00:45:06,672 --> 00:45:08,162 Wine list, please. 757 00:45:13,479 --> 00:45:15,481 [Cork pops] 758 00:45:15,481 --> 00:45:18,084 STANLEY: But why Portugal? When people go to Portugal 759 00:45:18,084 --> 00:45:20,052 I always think all the hotel rooms in Spain 760 00:45:20,052 --> 00:45:21,120 must have been booked 761 00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,022 EVE: See. To me. Portugal is the one 762 00:45:23,022 --> 00:45:24,887 that's always held the eternal mystery 763 00:45:26,892 --> 00:45:29,261 Oh... 764 00:45:29,261 --> 00:45:31,525 none for me, thanks. 765 00:45:33,065 --> 00:45:35,260 [Oscar ordering in French] 766 00:45:52,551 --> 00:45:54,887 And what do you want, Diane? 767 00:45:54,887 --> 00:45:57,879 [Wine pours] 768 00:46:01,093 --> 00:46:03,362 OSCAR: Peter says I may have a shot at the English prize... 769 00:46:03,362 --> 00:46:04,964 if I read Beowulf properly. 770 00:46:04,964 --> 00:46:06,632 That is, taking into account the times... 771 00:46:06,632 --> 00:46:09,502 instead of reading it with a contemporary slant. 772 00:46:09,502 --> 00:46:13,105 You can't discount history, Oscar. 773 00:46:13,105 --> 00:46:15,808 No, you can't. 774 00:46:15,808 --> 00:46:17,543 You can't discount it at all. 775 00:46:17,543 --> 00:46:19,512 [Wine pours] 776 00:46:19,512 --> 00:46:20,780 STANLEY: The sales representative... 777 00:46:20,780 --> 00:46:23,482 this twenty-five-year-old kid who's talking to me 778 00:46:23,482 --> 00:46:25,518 about book jackets for four hours 779 00:46:25,518 --> 00:46:27,286 I went cross-eyed 780 00:46:27,286 --> 00:46:29,288 Diane: How many pages you got there. Stanley? 781 00:46:29,288 --> 00:46:31,056 Stanley: Well. I have about 7 15 782 00:46:31,056 --> 00:46:32,224 How are you? 783 00:46:32,224 --> 00:46:34,660 I'm good. 784 00:46:34,660 --> 00:46:38,330 No. How are you? 785 00:46:38,330 --> 00:46:41,000 I'm good, Oscar. 786 00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:42,635 It's good to see you. 787 00:46:42,635 --> 00:46:44,336 You, too. 788 00:46:44,336 --> 00:46:47,773 Are you sure you don't have a girlfriend at Chauncey? 789 00:46:47,773 --> 00:46:50,910 I would think they'd be lining up. 790 00:46:50,910 --> 00:46:56,582 Eve... l've been thinking about maybe going premed. 791 00:46:56,582 --> 00:46:58,484 Maybe Columbia. 792 00:46:58,484 --> 00:47:01,920 I'd be in the city, we could meet... 793 00:47:03,422 --> 00:47:06,458 to go over my homework... I mean, if you'd be willing. 794 00:47:06,458 --> 00:47:11,197 Well, I'd love to, Oscar, but you love literature. 795 00:47:11,197 --> 00:47:14,333 You're fluent in French. You should be a scholar. 796 00:47:14,333 --> 00:47:15,835 A lot of medicine's in Latin, right? 797 00:47:15,835 --> 00:47:17,837 So, I figure, French, Latin... 798 00:47:17,837 --> 00:47:20,272 I'm not doing so badly in biology. 799 00:47:20,272 --> 00:47:22,041 I mean, I know what an isotope is. 800 00:47:22,041 --> 00:47:23,642 But if you went premed... 801 00:47:23,642 --> 00:47:27,780 you couldn't get caught up in the poetry of the pericardium. 802 00:47:27,780 --> 00:47:29,215 I would get caught up in the poetry... 803 00:47:29,215 --> 00:47:31,450 of the thing itself, like you do. 804 00:47:31,450 --> 00:47:33,986 EVE: Don't quote me back to myself 805 00:47:33,986 --> 00:47:36,689 Is the world really waiting for another academic? 806 00:47:36,689 --> 00:47:39,225 STANLEY: A new subject Something I am passionate 807 00:47:39,225 --> 00:47:41,460 Diane? 808 00:47:41,460 --> 00:47:42,895 Diane. Would you pass the bread. Please? 809 00:47:42,895 --> 00:47:44,829 Ahem 810 00:47:50,502 --> 00:47:52,171 Thank you. 811 00:47:52,171 --> 00:47:53,405 Are you coming down with something? 812 00:47:53,405 --> 00:47:54,573 I'm fine. 813 00:47:54,573 --> 00:47:56,675 Are we still playing tennis tomorrow? 814 00:47:56,675 --> 00:47:58,844 Oh, is that tomorrow, tennis? 815 00:47:58,844 --> 00:48:00,880 Don't you think you've had enough? 816 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:03,449 STANLEY: Look at some first editions he just bought 817 00:48:03,449 --> 00:48:05,251 He suspects he's been swindled. 818 00:48:05,251 --> 00:48:07,686 Must you be so uptight... 819 00:48:07,686 --> 00:48:09,622 I'm not saying anything. 820 00:48:09,622 --> 00:48:11,523 You're making me nervous. 821 00:48:11,523 --> 00:48:14,894 OK. Maybe you could go to Norm's in the afternoon. 822 00:48:14,894 --> 00:48:19,031 STANLEY: I could I could go in the afternoon 823 00:48:19,031 --> 00:48:21,192 Get your foot out of my crotch, please. 824 00:48:24,570 --> 00:48:26,605 Get your foot out of my crotch, please. 825 00:48:26,605 --> 00:48:29,541 The thing is, I hate tennis. 826 00:48:29,541 --> 00:48:31,343 I have the court booked. 827 00:48:31,343 --> 00:48:33,402 I'll play tennis with you, Eve. I love tennis. 828 00:48:34,914 --> 00:48:36,215 Yes, Oscar's a wonderful sport. 829 00:48:36,215 --> 00:48:38,050 There you go. Oscar'll play with you. 830 00:48:38,050 --> 00:48:41,186 - You will? You don't mind? - Not at all. 831 00:48:41,186 --> 00:48:43,822 Oscar is very gallant. 832 00:48:43,822 --> 00:48:45,346 [Whispering] Oscar has a new girlfriend. 833 00:48:46,725 --> 00:48:48,260 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 834 00:48:48,260 --> 00:48:49,428 It seems last evening... 835 00:48:49,428 --> 00:48:52,898 he had quite the late night conversation. 836 00:48:52,898 --> 00:48:54,767 Oh, tell us about it. 837 00:48:54,767 --> 00:48:56,826 Diane, wine is bad for your heart. 838 00:48:59,939 --> 00:49:01,106 I thought wine was good for your heart. 839 00:49:01,106 --> 00:49:03,375 It is, in moderation. 840 00:49:03,375 --> 00:49:05,411 So, who is this girl, Oscar? 841 00:49:05,411 --> 00:49:07,646 She's quite a little number, by the looks of her. 842 00:49:07,646 --> 00:49:10,249 I thought the girls at Chauncey hadn't lived enough. 843 00:49:10,249 --> 00:49:12,581 Can we change the subject, please? 844 00:49:16,655 --> 00:49:18,657 Well. If we're going to change the subject 845 00:49:18,657 --> 00:49:20,989 I'm going to excuse myself for the ladies room. 846 00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:29,360 Excuse me. 847 00:49:33,639 --> 00:49:37,302 I think that's why he's acting so strangely. 848 00:49:39,144 --> 00:49:40,579 What the hell are you doing? 849 00:49:40,579 --> 00:49:42,748 - What do you mean? - What do I mean? 850 00:49:42,748 --> 00:49:44,683 You're drinking. You're making these jokes. 851 00:49:44,683 --> 00:49:45,951 You have your foot in my crotch... 852 00:49:45,951 --> 00:49:47,619 - Loosen up. - Loosen up? 853 00:49:47,619 --> 00:49:49,822 I asked you not to let them know. 854 00:49:49,822 --> 00:49:51,657 [Chuckles] 855 00:49:51,657 --> 00:49:53,926 [Chokes, coughs] Oh, my! 856 00:49:53,926 --> 00:49:55,826 EVE: What is it? 857 00:49:57,162 --> 00:49:59,062 Something very unusual. 858 00:50:03,702 --> 00:50:05,966 [Whispering] No one knows anything. 859 00:50:24,590 --> 00:50:27,059 EVE: What is that on your face? 860 00:50:27,059 --> 00:50:28,754 What? 861 00:50:31,330 --> 00:50:34,356 Oh! Aah! Ow! 862 00:50:35,701 --> 00:50:38,203 Do you two have something you'd like to share with us? 863 00:50:38,203 --> 00:50:39,568 What? 864 00:50:45,644 --> 00:50:48,047 Oh, God. 865 00:50:48,047 --> 00:50:49,681 What's going on? 866 00:50:49,681 --> 00:50:50,916 Well? 867 00:50:50,916 --> 00:50:52,985 OK, I think what we're talking about here... 868 00:50:52,985 --> 00:50:54,653 is Prufigger's theory of distortion... 869 00:50:54,653 --> 00:50:57,222 which states that prismatic effect of a body... 870 00:50:57,222 --> 00:50:59,224 reflected on a plane at a certain angle... 871 00:50:59,224 --> 00:51:01,160 Stanley, what is it? 872 00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:02,661 An illusion... 873 00:51:02,661 --> 00:51:05,264 Oh. What the hell We're all adults here 874 00:51:05,264 --> 00:51:07,266 No, actually, we're not. 875 00:51:07,266 --> 00:51:08,824 Eve... 876 00:51:09,902 --> 00:51:12,871 - Oscar and l... - Both speak French. 877 00:51:12,871 --> 00:51:18,010 Oscar and I are lovers 878 00:51:18,010 --> 00:51:20,045 What? 879 00:51:20,045 --> 00:51:22,114 What? Are you drunk? 880 00:51:22,114 --> 00:51:25,217 Oscar, just relax. I saw them in the mirror. 881 00:51:25,217 --> 00:51:28,554 I just hope Miranda Spear didn't see it, too. 882 00:51:28,554 --> 00:51:30,989 Dad, there is no Miranda Spear. 883 00:51:30,989 --> 00:51:32,891 There is no Mir... What are you talking about? 884 00:51:32,891 --> 00:51:34,059 I just shook hands with her father. 885 00:51:34,059 --> 00:51:36,862 EVE: When did this happen? Last night? 886 00:51:36,862 --> 00:51:38,625 Mm-hmm. 887 00:51:39,998 --> 00:51:41,166 Stanley... 888 00:51:41,166 --> 00:51:42,734 Of course, you know, it's not that uncommon. 889 00:51:42,734 --> 00:51:44,903 In ancient Rome, fifty-year-old men... 890 00:51:44,903 --> 00:51:46,638 would marry fourteen-year-old girls. 891 00:51:46,638 --> 00:51:48,340 This is not ancient Rome. 892 00:51:48,340 --> 00:51:50,976 I am nowhere near fifty! 893 00:51:50,976 --> 00:51:53,445 Well, it is all very The Graduate. 894 00:51:53,445 --> 00:51:55,936 Except that Oscar hasn't graduated. 895 00:52:09,828 --> 00:52:12,092 [Thunder] 896 00:52:15,100 --> 00:52:17,069 There. 897 00:52:17,069 --> 00:52:18,536 Thanks. 898 00:52:20,372 --> 00:52:21,940 So, you coming to bed soon? 899 00:52:21,940 --> 00:52:26,211 Uh, in a while. I just have to finish these chapter notes. 900 00:52:26,211 --> 00:52:28,145 Good night, sweetheart. 901 00:52:46,498 --> 00:52:48,700 DIANE: I just don't see why you're so upset 902 00:52:48,700 --> 00:52:51,303 I'm entrusted with his welfare, Diane. 903 00:52:51,303 --> 00:52:54,873 I mean, can you imagine if Oscar's mother found out? 904 00:52:54,873 --> 00:52:56,508 She's French, isn't she? 905 00:52:56,508 --> 00:52:59,912 They're not all like that, OK? 906 00:52:59,912 --> 00:53:01,580 You're taking advantage of him. 907 00:53:01,580 --> 00:53:03,482 Oh, bullshit, Eve. 908 00:53:03,482 --> 00:53:05,851 Oscar's a smart kid. 909 00:53:05,851 --> 00:53:07,686 Now, there are some forty-year-old men... 910 00:53:07,686 --> 00:53:08,987 of whom I am taking advantage. 911 00:53:08,987 --> 00:53:11,790 Am I overreacting? He's fifteen! 912 00:53:11,790 --> 00:53:15,661 Well, you and I were hardly innocent when we were fifteen. 913 00:53:15,661 --> 00:53:17,629 Who went to the Jefferson Airplane concert... 914 00:53:17,629 --> 00:53:19,998 and pulled down their tube top and... 915 00:53:19,998 --> 00:53:21,934 That's different, OK? 916 00:53:21,934 --> 00:53:24,736 [Laughs] All right, that's different. 917 00:53:24,736 --> 00:53:28,473 I know why you're upset. 918 00:53:28,473 --> 00:53:31,243 You're upset because you know that deep down inside... 919 00:53:31,243 --> 00:53:33,111 if our situations were reversed... 920 00:53:33,111 --> 00:53:35,347 you would have done the exact same thing. 921 00:53:35,347 --> 00:53:37,683 - Don't be ridiculous. - You would have. 922 00:53:37,683 --> 00:53:41,019 With a fifteen-year-old? Not on your life. 923 00:53:41,019 --> 00:53:42,354 Not just a fifteen-year-old. 924 00:53:42,354 --> 00:53:46,425 A smart, sweet, passionate person. 925 00:53:46,425 --> 00:53:49,258 You're not the only one with something missing. 926 00:53:51,430 --> 00:53:54,866 Samantha Steadman gave Oscar her phone number. 927 00:53:54,866 --> 00:53:57,669 And you let her? 928 00:53:57,669 --> 00:53:59,605 He can take care of himself. 929 00:53:59,605 --> 00:54:02,040 I'm not his mother. Neither are you. 930 00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:03,842 What is wrong with your friends? 931 00:54:03,842 --> 00:54:05,577 - Nothing. - Jesus. 932 00:54:05,577 --> 00:54:09,081 And if you hadn't met somebody in a really long time... 933 00:54:09,081 --> 00:54:11,316 who was very excited about life... 934 00:54:11,316 --> 00:54:14,114 you would consider a fifteen-year-old. 935 00:55:00,098 --> 00:55:02,467 EVE: Love-thirty 936 00:55:02,467 --> 00:55:05,604 Or, zero-thirty. 937 00:55:05,604 --> 00:55:08,907 As if you know what love means 938 00:55:08,907 --> 00:55:11,209 Comes from the French word for egg. 939 00:55:11,209 --> 00:55:12,644 L'oeuf 940 00:55:12,644 --> 00:55:15,547 Eve... 941 00:55:15,547 --> 00:55:17,616 I know how it must look. 942 00:55:17,616 --> 00:55:22,621 I understand how misled you must feel. 943 00:55:22,621 --> 00:55:25,324 I spoke of poetic thoughts 944 00:55:25,324 --> 00:55:27,993 of love and livers 945 00:55:27,993 --> 00:55:30,762 merely hours after having cheap, meaningless... 946 00:55:30,762 --> 00:55:33,365 sexual intercourse with your best friend. 947 00:55:33,365 --> 00:55:34,533 No. 948 00:55:34,533 --> 00:55:36,635 That's fifteen-thirty, right? 949 00:55:36,635 --> 00:55:38,933 Serve! 950 00:55:40,672 --> 00:55:43,608 Eve... 951 00:55:43,608 --> 00:55:47,746 sometimes the natural call of man... 952 00:55:47,746 --> 00:55:50,549 is just too strong to... No. Ugh. 953 00:55:50,549 --> 00:55:53,852 So that's fifteen-forty, right? 954 00:55:53,852 --> 00:55:57,253 A ratio you seem particularly fond of. 955 00:56:00,659 --> 00:56:04,896 And, yes, Eve, true passion does still exist... 956 00:56:04,896 --> 00:56:06,565 and I know this... 957 00:56:06,565 --> 00:56:10,365 because I'm a man who feels true passion. 958 00:56:23,949 --> 00:56:26,076 [Sighs] 959 00:56:30,922 --> 00:56:32,913 I think you'll be fine. 960 00:56:37,929 --> 00:56:39,431 CHARLIE: If you're gonna mess with 961 00:56:39,431 --> 00:56:41,032 the stuff of Greek tragedies. Oscar 962 00:56:41,032 --> 00:56:43,101 you're gonna have to be prepared for the fallout. 963 00:56:43,101 --> 00:56:45,365 Charlie, help me. 964 00:56:47,539 --> 00:56:49,674 OK, let's look at this rationally. 965 00:56:49,674 --> 00:56:53,412 If you had met Eve in, say, a coffee shop... 966 00:56:53,412 --> 00:56:55,447 would you still be attracted to her? 967 00:56:55,447 --> 00:56:57,949 I mean, it's not just 'cause she's your mother, is it? 968 00:56:57,949 --> 00:57:00,552 She's not my mother. Stop saying that. 969 00:57:00,552 --> 00:57:02,487 [Dog barking] 970 00:57:02,487 --> 00:57:06,258 OK, look, maybe it's not your fault. 971 00:57:06,258 --> 00:57:08,860 Since your father's been married to another woman 972 00:57:08,860 --> 00:57:11,630 in the eyes of the church, he's a polygamist. 973 00:57:11,630 --> 00:57:14,733 So maybe you're just genetically predisposed... 974 00:57:14,733 --> 00:57:18,236 that is, programmed to repeat the mistakes... 975 00:57:18,236 --> 00:57:20,372 or sins of your biological... 976 00:57:20,372 --> 00:57:22,908 Shut up, Charlie. 977 00:57:22,908 --> 00:57:25,069 [Knock on door] 978 00:57:26,912 --> 00:57:28,413 You kids having fun? 979 00:57:28,413 --> 00:57:30,248 Do you want some cookies or anything? 980 00:57:30,248 --> 00:57:31,917 No, ma, we're fine. 981 00:57:31,917 --> 00:57:35,120 My, Oscar, I can't believe how big you've gotten. 982 00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:37,289 Yeah, I guess I hit quite a spurt there. 983 00:57:37,289 --> 00:57:39,458 All right, yeah, uh... 984 00:57:39,458 --> 00:57:42,894 All right, ma, thanks. And I'll, uh, see you later. 985 00:57:44,396 --> 00:57:46,227 Stick to your own mom, will you? 986 00:58:03,748 --> 00:58:06,384 Hey, Jimmy. 987 00:58:06,384 --> 00:58:08,653 What's on your mind, Tadpole? 988 00:58:08,653 --> 00:58:12,357 Nobody calls me that anymore, Jimmy. 989 00:58:12,357 --> 00:58:13,792 What do they call you now? 990 00:58:13,792 --> 00:58:15,453 Stupid. 991 00:58:17,596 --> 00:58:20,398 Everything's messed up. 992 00:58:20,398 --> 00:58:25,670 Well, what's the trouble, Tadp... uh, Stupid? 993 00:58:25,670 --> 00:58:29,140 Women, I guess. 994 00:58:29,140 --> 00:58:31,142 Not girls? 995 00:58:31,142 --> 00:58:34,441 No, they're definitely women. 996 00:58:36,147 --> 00:58:38,583 No women... 997 00:58:38,583 --> 00:58:40,346 no cry. 998 00:58:42,921 --> 00:58:44,912 Thanks for that, Jimmy. 999 00:59:23,895 --> 00:59:26,831 I made you a sandwich. 1000 00:59:26,831 --> 00:59:28,526 Thanks. 1001 00:59:32,337 --> 00:59:33,861 Grilled cheese... my favorite 1002 00:59:35,607 --> 00:59:36,904 EVE: I know 1003 00:59:38,577 --> 00:59:42,080 Good thing it's something I can actually cook. 1004 00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:44,950 Dad always burns them. 1005 00:59:44,950 --> 00:59:47,619 He won't use teflon. 1006 00:59:47,619 --> 00:59:49,746 Well, he's a traditionalist. 1007 00:59:52,257 --> 00:59:58,129 These, uh, teflon make replacement heart valves, right? 1008 00:59:58,129 --> 01:00:01,132 You know way too much for a fifteen-year-old. 1009 01:00:01,132 --> 01:00:03,468 Nothing worth knowing. 1010 01:00:03,468 --> 01:00:07,234 That's not true, Oscar... plenty worth knowing. 1011 01:00:11,176 --> 01:00:12,939 You know... 1012 01:00:15,447 --> 01:00:17,782 with Diane... 1013 01:00:17,782 --> 01:00:22,988 Oscar, I've already decided it's really none of my business. 1014 01:00:22,988 --> 01:00:24,990 You are old enough to make your own decisions. 1015 01:00:24,990 --> 01:00:26,617 I want to explain. 1016 01:00:28,460 --> 01:00:31,554 With Diane, well... 1017 01:00:33,632 --> 01:00:35,634 it was teflon sex. 1018 01:00:35,634 --> 01:00:36,968 Pardon me? 1019 01:00:36,968 --> 01:00:39,304 She was doing this thing to my back... pressing. 1020 01:00:39,304 --> 01:00:41,473 And I was drunk, she's a chiropractor... 1021 01:00:41,473 --> 01:00:43,341 - that kind of thing. - That kind of thing. 1022 01:00:43,341 --> 01:00:47,178 Hormones racing out of control or pheromones. 1023 01:00:47,178 --> 01:00:48,805 I'm not that kind of a person. 1024 01:00:51,516 --> 01:00:53,985 You told me once that it could be years... 1025 01:00:53,985 --> 01:00:55,820 before anyone really understood... 1026 01:00:55,820 --> 01:00:57,188 what the hell I was talking about... 1027 01:00:57,188 --> 01:01:00,091 but that the day would come... 1028 01:01:00,091 --> 01:01:01,926 when everyone caught up to me. 1029 01:01:01,926 --> 01:01:05,430 And while I knew that maybe you were just being kind... 1030 01:01:05,430 --> 01:01:07,159 I knew one thing. 1031 01:01:09,267 --> 01:01:10,928 That I love... 1032 01:01:12,971 --> 01:01:15,607 things. 1033 01:01:15,607 --> 01:01:18,610 - And, and, uh... - It's OK. 1034 01:01:18,610 --> 01:01:20,278 And there was Diane... 1035 01:01:20,278 --> 01:01:21,939 and she was... 1036 01:01:24,349 --> 01:01:26,180 wearing your scarf. 1037 01:01:47,972 --> 01:01:51,464 I better do the dishes. 1038 01:01:59,217 --> 01:02:01,014 [Water running] 1039 01:02:09,728 --> 01:02:11,719 [Turns off water] 1040 01:04:04,175 --> 01:04:06,109 [Door shuts] 1041 01:04:10,181 --> 01:04:13,384 Well, I lost big-time. 1042 01:04:13,384 --> 01:04:16,955 Look at you. You're a good boy, Oscar. 1043 01:04:16,955 --> 01:04:18,656 Where's Eve? 1044 01:04:18,656 --> 01:04:20,525 How should I know? 1045 01:04:20,525 --> 01:04:22,755 In bed. Probably 1046 01:04:24,195 --> 01:04:25,355 Probably. 1047 01:04:27,432 --> 01:04:29,934 That Professor Tisch, I think he's a cheat. 1048 01:04:29,934 --> 01:04:33,495 I bet he palms off the bottom of the deck. 1049 01:04:44,883 --> 01:04:46,050 Oscar. have you noticed 1050 01:04:46,050 --> 01:04:49,611 anything different about Eve this weekend? 1051 01:04:54,225 --> 01:04:57,662 Different? Like what? 1052 01:04:57,662 --> 01:05:01,432 I don't know, for the last few months... 1053 01:05:01,432 --> 01:05:04,769 she's been going to bed earlier. 1054 01:05:04,769 --> 01:05:07,329 Maybe she's just tired, or... 1055 01:05:10,341 --> 01:05:12,206 Or what? 1056 01:05:14,012 --> 01:05:15,914 I don't know what. 1057 01:05:15,914 --> 01:05:17,682 Maybe I'm missing something. 1058 01:05:17,682 --> 01:05:20,318 I thought about what you said last night. 1059 01:05:20,318 --> 01:05:23,549 Maybe I haven't been listening too well. 1060 01:05:27,125 --> 01:05:29,650 Then again, maybe I'm just imagining things. 1061 01:05:38,002 --> 01:05:39,492 [Music playing] 1062 01:05:50,448 --> 01:05:56,454 Tom. Get your plane right on time 1063 01:05:56,454 --> 01:06:02,927 I know your part'll go fine 1064 01:06:02,927 --> 01:06:09,000 Fly down to Mexico 1065 01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:15,173 Do-n-do-n-do-n-do and here I am 1066 01:06:15,173 --> 01:06:19,837 The only living boy in New York 1067 01:06:23,081 --> 01:06:27,919 I get the news I need on the weather report 1068 01:06:27,919 --> 01:06:33,858 I can gather all the news I need on the weather report 1069 01:06:35,626 --> 01:06:42,533 Hey. I got nothing to do today but smile 1070 01:06:42,533 --> 01:06:47,772 Do-n-do-n-do-n-do and here I am 1071 01:06:47,772 --> 01:06:52,402 The only living boy in New York 1072 01:06:55,613 --> 01:06:59,384 Half of the time we're gone. But we don't know where 1073 01:06:59,384 --> 01:07:03,187 And we don't know when 1074 01:07:03,187 --> 01:07:13,398 Ahh 1075 01:07:13,398 --> 01:07:15,900 [Music fades] 1076 01:07:15,900 --> 01:07:18,391 I'll get your ticket. I'll be right back. 1077 01:07:25,910 --> 01:07:28,538 You have a loose button. 1078 01:07:30,415 --> 01:07:33,418 I'd sew it for you, but I don't sew. 1079 01:07:33,418 --> 01:07:35,353 I know. 1080 01:07:35,353 --> 01:07:39,891 I'm not a very good mother... step-mother. 1081 01:07:39,891 --> 01:07:42,894 Who says they have to cook and sew? 1082 01:07:42,894 --> 01:07:46,531 Anyway, you know how to monitor... 1083 01:07:46,531 --> 01:07:48,897 cardiac myocytes... that's enough. 1084 01:07:56,274 --> 01:07:58,868 How's your liver? 1085 01:07:58,943 --> 01:08:00,778 Hurts. 1086 01:08:00,778 --> 01:08:02,280 Broken? 1087 01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:05,083 No. 1088 01:08:05,083 --> 01:08:08,686 I love your father very much. 1089 01:08:08,686 --> 01:08:11,655 Me, too. 1090 01:08:13,458 --> 01:08:16,627 So, see you back here in about three weeks? 1091 01:08:16,627 --> 01:08:18,396 [Footsteps] 1092 01:08:18,396 --> 01:08:20,364 You two look very serious 1093 01:08:20,364 --> 01:08:22,700 We're talking about Christmas. 1094 01:08:22,700 --> 01:08:25,403 Oscar's going to his mother's in France. 1095 01:08:25,403 --> 01:08:27,071 He is? 1096 01:08:27,071 --> 01:08:31,576 We're going to Portugal, just the two of us. 1097 01:08:31,576 --> 01:08:34,312 - We are? - Lf you want. 1098 01:08:34,312 --> 01:08:35,506 Hey. 1099 01:08:37,915 --> 01:08:39,610 Bye, sweetie. 1100 01:09:09,881 --> 01:09:11,315 Here. 1101 01:09:11,315 --> 01:09:14,252 Thanks, Oscar. 1102 01:09:14,252 --> 01:09:15,953 You're welcome. 1103 01:09:15,953 --> 01:09:17,588 See you at school. 1104 01:09:17,588 --> 01:09:19,891 OK. 1105 01:09:19,891 --> 01:09:22,093 "If we don't find anything pleasant... 1106 01:09:22,093 --> 01:09:25,196 "at least we shall find something new." 1107 01:09:25,196 --> 01:09:28,166 What's that? 1108 01:09:28,166 --> 01:09:30,657 Voltaire. 1109 01:09:31,903 --> 01:09:33,495 Oh, right. 1110 01:09:36,407 --> 01:09:38,272 See you at school. 1111 01:09:47,485 --> 01:09:49,476 She is so hot for you. 1112 01:09:51,122 --> 01:09:53,056 She smells nice. 1113 01:09:55,126 --> 01:09:56,753 She what? 1114 01:09:59,030 --> 01:10:02,733 Still don't know what I was waiting for 1115 01:10:02,733 --> 01:10:06,037 And my time was running wild 1116 01:10:06,037 --> 01:10:08,139 So, what happened with Eve? 1117 01:10:08,139 --> 01:10:11,442 Every time I thought I'd got it made 1118 01:10:11,442 --> 01:10:14,545 Come on, talk to me, Grubber. 1119 01:10:14,545 --> 01:10:18,883 So I turned myself to face me 1120 01:10:18,883 --> 01:10:24,155 Well, it wasn't as important as I thought it was. 1121 01:10:24,155 --> 01:10:27,825 Of how the others must see the faker 1122 01:10:27,825 --> 01:10:31,696 I'm much too fast to take that test 1123 01:10:31,696 --> 01:10:33,864 Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes 1124 01:10:33,864 --> 01:10:36,267 Turn and face the strain 1125 01:10:36,267 --> 01:10:38,803 Ch-ch-ch-changes 1126 01:10:38,803 --> 01:10:41,272 Don't want to be a richer man 1127 01:10:41,272 --> 01:10:43,140 Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes 1128 01:10:43,140 --> 01:10:45,643 Turn and face the strain 1129 01:10:45,643 --> 01:10:47,979 Ch-ch-ch-changes 1130 01:10:47,979 --> 01:10:50,581 Just gonna have to be a different man 1131 01:10:50,581 --> 01:10:53,484 Time may change me 1132 01:10:53,484 --> 01:10:57,250 But I can't trace time 1133 01:11:02,393 --> 01:11:04,293 Ooh. Yeah 1134 01:11:07,932 --> 01:11:11,769 I watch the ripples change their size 1135 01:11:11,769 --> 01:11:16,040 But never leave the stream of warm impermanence 1136 01:11:16,040 --> 01:11:19,977 And so the days float through my eyes 1137 01:11:19,977 --> 01:11:24,282 But still the days seem the same 1138 01:11:24,282 --> 01:11:28,452 And these children that you spit on 1139 01:11:28,452 --> 01:11:32,790 As they try to change their worlds 1140 01:11:32,790 --> 01:11:37,061 Are immune to your consultations 1141 01:11:37,061 --> 01:11:40,131 They're quite aware of what they're going through 1142 01:11:40,131 --> 01:11:42,233 Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes 1143 01:11:42,233 --> 01:11:44,535 Turn and face the strain 1144 01:11:44,535 --> 01:11:46,570 Ch-ch-changes 1145 01:11:46,570 --> 01:11:49,607 Don't tell them to grow up and out of it 1146 01:11:49,607 --> 01:11:51,676 Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes 1147 01:11:51,676 --> 01:11:53,978 Turn and face the strain 1148 01:11:53,978 --> 01:11:55,613 Ch-ch-changes 1149 01:11:55,613 --> 01:11:56,781 Where's your shame? 1150 01:11:56,781 --> 01:11:58,908 You've left us up to our necks in it 1151 01:11:58,983 --> 01:12:01,719 Time may change me 1152 01:12:01,719 --> 01:12:05,756 But you can't trace time 1153 01:12:05,756 --> 01:12:11,786 Strange fascination. Fascinating me 1154 01:12:13,597 --> 01:12:20,671 Aw. Changes are taking the pace I'm going through 1155 01:12:20,671 --> 01:12:22,540 Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes 1156 01:12:22,540 --> 01:12:24,942 Turn and face the strain 1157 01:12:24,942 --> 01:12:26,744 Ch-ch-changes 1158 01:12:26,744 --> 01:12:29,647 Ooh. Iook out you rock 'n rollers 1159 01:12:29,647 --> 01:12:31,949 Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes 1160 01:12:31,949 --> 01:12:34,218 Turn and face the strain 1161 01:12:34,218 --> 01:12:36,120 Ch-ch-changes 1162 01:12:36,120 --> 01:12:38,756 Pretty soon now you're gonna get a little older 1163 01:12:38,756 --> 01:12:41,892 Time may change me 1164 01:12:41,892 --> 01:12:44,662 But I can't trace time 1165 01:12:44,662 --> 01:12:47,965 I said that time may change me 1166 01:12:47,965 --> 01:12:54,200 But I can't trace time 1167 01:13:05,916 --> 01:13:08,419 [Song fades out] 1168 01:13:08,419 --> 01:13:10,910 ["Couche-moi" begins] 1169 01:13:17,428 --> 01:13:19,419 [Adam Cohen singing in French] 1170 01:16:22,880 --> 01:16:25,649 [Song ends] 1171 01:16:25,649 --> 01:16:27,640 [Music playing]