-"Please put all wet food down the garbage disposal."
"I am sensitive to the smell of rotting food."
"Don't let the same dog bite you twice."
"What did you do with my sunglasses???"
♪ ♪
-Alright people, let's get started.
Put your bags aside.
Now I know you all wake up every morning and
you brush your teeth...
hopefully.
You drink your coffee and you smoke your cigarettes.
You put on your little leotard.
And you come to audition.
You come to work.
But what makes today the day that you book?
What makes today more than just a job, more than just your
stupid little dancer's life playing out in a loop?
-Five, six, seven, eight...
One and two.
Three and four.
And five and six...
and seven and eight...
One, two, three, four...
Five, six, seven and eight...
One, two, three, four...
Five, six and seven--
♪ ♪
-Athena, how long have you been auditioning for me?
- Six years.
- Six years?
So I'm going to ask you one last time:
How bad do you want this?
- Max, you know--
- Shut up!
More than your family?
- Yes--
- More than your friends?
- What friends?
- Alright - you can go.
- Choke me.
Harder!
Like you're raping me.
- What?
- I like it rough.
Harder... Oh God!
Oh my God I'm gonna cum!
Oh God...
I think I'm still drunk...
and bad with names in general.
-Bryan.
- Right.
- Bryan.
- Well Bry, that... that was fun.
-It was fun.
Athena.
Give it to me.
Don't leave me hanging.
At some point did you ask me to rape you?
Did that actually happen?
- What if I did?
- I've just been out of the game for a while.
I don't know if that's like a thing now.
I don't know if I know an actress in L.A. who
doesn't smoke cigarettes.
- Why, have you been fucking a whole load of actresses?
- Maybe.
- Well it's alright because I'm not an actress.
- You're not?
- Sex is better when guys think they're banging actresses.
A kindergarten teacher is a close second
but a... it's no actress.
- Kindergarten teacher is pretty sexy actually.
- Well I'm pretty sexy.
- So how long have you been doing that?
- Not long.
Because I'm not really a kindergarten teacher.
- You uh-- I think your booty call
is trying to get a hold of you.
-Booty call, no.
Boyfriend, yes.
I'm kidding.
- I can't tell if you're funny or just bat shit crazy.
- You must have a pretty lame sense of humor
if you think that's funny.
- Who's Jack?
- Dude, I just met you five minutes ago.
Please don't snoop my phone.
Give it back.
- Tell me who Jack is first.
- Jack-- Jack is my father.
He drunk dials me sometimes.
- Prove it.
- I really don't feel like talking to him right now.
- It's because you're a liar.
- I only lied about being an actress.
- And a kindergarten teacher, so...
track record's not great.
- Oh you want me to prove it to you?
Fine... fine.
Let's see what Jack, my father, has to say.
- Athena...
- Alright-- I get it.
- goddess of wisdom, it's your--
It's daddy.
King Jack, the Duke of Soul.
I need you to come to Florida as soon as possible.
Big News... I have cancer.
♪♪
- Honey Bunny.
- Did you forget about me?
- No matter how hard I tried, I could never forget about you.
♪♪
- Is it just me or did your boobs get smaller?
- It's just you.
- A hug- Athena.
Come here...
come on.
- I got it... I'm fine.
- Pink...
- Yeah, it's been pink for a while.
- Really.
- You wouldn't know that though.
- You haven't visited me in three years.
What do you think?
So, how's the dancing going?
Huh..
Hey, I hear all the young girls are shaving off
all their cabbage these days.
Is that true?
- Cabbage patch kids!
- Well I'm not 'all the young girls.'
So how am I supposed to know?
Well what about you?
You going bald eagle now or what?
- No.
- No?
Because they say that- tha- that you feel things better
because of the, uh - the whatchamacallit.
The nerve endings.
- Nerve endings? - Yeah.
Yeah, that's what they're saying.
-If you want everyone to know you have a small johnson,
- Drive that car!
-Sixty years old. Six feet.
One hundred and ninety three pounds.
No history of cancer, no history of heart disease, no history
of anything aside from a cataract surgery in 2008
and high cholesterol.
-See Honey Bunny?
Except for the cancer, I'm in perfect health.
Oh, pay attention.
The doctor is going to show us a picture of daddy's lungs
and we're going to see what cancer looks like.
-Based on pet scan, cat scan, and biopsy today we have
determined that the tumors are spreading from your lungs to
your lymph nodes which is typically a pre-cursor for
spreading to the brain.
- Wait, what?
- Why are you taking notes?
What do you think he's going to give you a test after?
-Tests so far indicate no brain cancer.
Maybe the doctor can tell us the name of a good Indian restaurant
where we can get a bite after.
- Jack. Please1
- She calls me Jack...
I'm her father - she calls me Jack.
Why don't we try a version of Papa Bear?
-Why don't we try listening to the doctor?
-Fine. What's with the lymbergs-
-Lymph nodes, yes.
Perhaps you could see better if you removed your sunglasses?
-How'd you know?
- I don't understand.
- We're invisible!
- When he's wearing his sunglasses indoors, we have
to pretend he's invisible.
Theoretically, you can't tell him to take them off
because you can't see him.
-Right...
Well, since I can hear your voice Mr. Morehead, but I can't
see you, I have to assume you're wearing your invisible glasses
and therefore request you remove them so we can discuss
the treatment options for your cancer.
-Wow.
There you are!
Great!
-It's okay to be scared.
-But I'm not.
I have my Honey Bunny here.
You're here...
-Jack.
-I told you. Call me Papa Bear.
-Jack, I'm serious.
-I don't have many left and you know how I hate to waste.
♪ -I love daddy. ♪
♪ He's not baddy. ♪
-I love you, princess.
Promise you'll stay with me, til the end.
-Then you have to do everything possible to beat this.
Guess I'll switch to ultra lights.
-No. It means you have to quit.
For good this time.
For all the nicotine starved children in Africa, right?
♪ ♪
-Twenty-four fifty.
-What?!
Twenty-four dollars and fifty cents for parking?
-That's what I said, sir.
-Oh, why you gotta do a brother like that?
I was just getting my lung cancer test results, which were
positive, I have cancer, and they didn't validate my ticket.
Can't you help me out?
-There is no validation. So...
-No, dig this. Dig this, superfly.
I got a year to three years to live.
So just help me out-
-Dad, please. Just pay so we can go home.
-You want to give me twenty-five bucks for parking?
- Hell no.
- Well then zip it!
Seriously, what can you do for me?
-If you buy something at the gift shop,
they validate in there.
-Really?
-Sorry. Sorry.
Thank you for your patience.
Relax, buddy. Relax.
Sorry, I have cancer, so...
Here you go.
Thank you, my brother.
Ah, Jimminy Crickets!
I forgot to ask the Punjabi doctor where we could eat.
-Oh Jimminy crickets!
Let's go.
- Not those!
-Athena we don't have all day.
-I told you.
We're only eating only organic from here on out.
Okay?
-I forgot how much you like to spend my dough.
Oh, a banana.
It tastes like a banana.
Come on.
-Let's go, Athena.
♪ ♪
-What are we having, Honey Bunny?
-Salad.
And my name is Athena for the third time.
And my name is Honey Bunny for the third time!
-And what are we having for the main course.
-This is the main course.
-I guess what I mean then is what are we having for our entrée?
-What- this is an entrée salad.
There's chicken, grilled zucchini, onions, peppers-
- Yeah?
- Look, we got everything in here.
We got radishes-
- What are we having for dessert?
You know what?
I got to take this call.
-You want some real food?
Yeah?
- Daddy?
- Yeah?
Do you know where my orange marker is?
-How would I know that?
Why would I have any idea where your orange marker is?
-I don't know.
-Well then why are you asking me?
-I don't know.
Alright...
Alright, I'll be right back.
-I'm hungry now.
-Well if you don't want salad- Here.
Eat that. I'll be right back.
-Hi, I just had a missed call from this number.
- Hey.
- Who is this?
-It's Bryan.
-Who?
-It's Bryan.
-I'm sorry.
I meet a lot of people.
Bryan - it doesn't ring any bells.
-From the other night.
The one who heard the message from your dad.
-Did I give you my number?
-Is this a bad time?
-Listen, I can't fuck you, alright.
I'm out of town for a while.
-No, I wasn't calling for-- I just--
I just wanted to check up on you.
-Oh, I get it.
You get off on rescuing damsels in distress, is that it?
-What? No!
I do not get off on whatever you just said.
I just was thinking about you and wanted to give you a call.
Jesus Christ, I wasn't prepared for an interrogation.
- Wait, I gotta go!
What - you're smoking now?
You're like four.
-I'm six and a half!
-Yes.
Yes, you're six and a half.
Yes you are, girl.
Come here.
You do not want to start smoking now, believe me, that is not-
-Honey Bunny, stop. Seriously.
- You're mean.
- No I'm not.
-To Daddy you are.
-Well Daddy doesn't always behave the way a daddy should.
-Yes he does.
-If you can't see that, you totally drank the Kool-Aid.
-Kool-Aid's for coloreds.
-Great.
Now he's turning you into a racist too.
-A what?
-Listen, there's Daddy's world and then there's the real world.
-Is the real world L.A.?
-Turn back around.
♪ ♪
-What are you doing?
-Drinking Baily's over three ice cubes.
- Why?
- Because that's what it recommended on the
back of the bottle.
Why are you still awake?
-I want to listen with you.
-No. No, kid.
Back to bed. Go.
- But I don't want to-
- Come on. Go on, back to bed.
-But I don't want to...
-Say goodnight moon.
-But I don't wanna go to bed!
-I'm going to count to three.
One...
Two...
-Goodnight kittens, goodnight mittens.
-Say goodnight to the boys.
-Goodnight Miles.
Goodnight B.B.
Goodnight Coltrane.
-Good girl.
Good night, princess.
-Well you can expect all sorts of things: lack of appetite,
lethargy, hair loss, loss of bowel movement, dry mouth,
difficulty swallowing.
It's important that he takes a rest when he
needs to feel rested.
Here's the pamphlet form the lung cancer alliance.
-Thank you.
-Did you have any other questions?
-Uh, yeah. Yeah.
How long does the first cycle of Chemo last?
-It's six weeks.
He'll come in for five-hour treatments Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays.
Then we check if the cancer has spread to assess whether or not
he needs another six week course.
-I'd like to make an announcement to everybody.
I have officially quit smoking.
-Oh, well I think we would all agree that's a positive step.
Have you noticed anything different since you quit?
-I have.
Boners.
First thing in the morning as soon as I get up.
Hard as a rock boner.
Hasn't happened to me in years.
What's that about?
-Well the blood flow starts to build back up--
-Wait, wait, wait, wait... I have another question.
Does cancer- would that allow me to get handicap parking?
-Um...
♪ ♪
-I don't want to hear it.
-I didn't say anything.
-I know what you're thinking.
♪ ♪
-She's here.
-Who is that?
I didn't make that much food.
-Hey!
Athena, this is Seashell.
Seashell, this is my daughter, Athena.
-Hello Athena.
- Seashell?
- Actually it's pronounced Say-chel -
but Jacky here can call me whatever he likes.
- Jacky?
- Yeah, Jacky.
-I see you're still paying women to have sex with you.
-I don't pay them for the sex with me.
I pay them to leave!
Athena, I could die any day now.
You want to deprive me of my final Seashell experience?
-You are a piece of work, you know that?
-Don't be such a square.
Marriage is just a socially acceptable form of prostitution.
-Prostitution is illegal!
-When you marry a woman, you take a vow to pay for her.
And she takes a vow to fuck you.
The problems come when she doesn't hold up
her end of the bargain.
Here, I can't open this.
Here.
- What is this?
Oh dude, are you for real?!
-Don't dude- I'm not your dude.
-Viagra?!
-Call me a version of Daddy-O or Papa Bear.
Capiche'?
-You can't even open the lid, do you honestly think
this is a good idea?
-Because I've got something wrong with my hand here.
But it has nothing to do with the cancer.
Alright look, I haven't lost a hair on my head.
-It's been a week, okay?
And not everyone loses their hair from Chemo.
-There's one left - you know how I hate to waste.
One pill is not going to kill me.
Athena...
Think of all the flaccid children in Africa.
Come on, help an old guy out.
Please?
Come on...
come on...
- I hate you.
- No, you don't.
- I do.
- No, you don't.
Was that hard?
-It will be now.
-Come here, Seashell.
Just sit here.
-Okay.
Thank you.
-What are you doing?
-I'm praying, sweet child.
-My father doesn't pray.
He's an atheist.
-Well that's all fine but in the midst of all the
craziness in the world,
we gots to remember to be grateful for our blessings.
-Grateful for what?
-Well for one thing, I think it's something that you're back
here with your daddy, Athena.
-Thank you, Seashell.
- And what are you thankful for--
- I'm thankful for the pharmaceutical companies.
-Thankful that they can make a pill that can help an elderly
man with cancer get an erection.
- Alright, that's enough.
- I'm thankful for Daddy teaching me how to drive.
For James Bond.
And for my press-on nails.
Oh, and hugs.
-Oh, and you know what?
If you'll excuse me, father, it seems that I've suddenly
lost my appetite.
-Now I know what alligators eat their young.
♪ ♪
-You bitch!
Oh my goodness you just keep getting tinier don't you.
-I've been on the Paleo for the last year.
-Fuck that L.A. shit, alright.
I'm on a Snickers diet.
-Oh look at you, you're glowing, really.
Thanks 'Theens.
-Come on, sit.
Sit, sit, sit.
-So, how's the dancing?
-It's... I dunno, it's- I don't want to jinx it.
-Do you want a beer?
Maybe some wine?
They have some pretty good wine here.
So why are you home?
-I'm just visiting.
What are you guys doing here...
together?
-Nat didn't tell you?
I'm the automatic 'plus one' these days.
Nat. Do you have to go to the bathroom?
I have to go to the bathroom.
-Okay, well we would bring you along if we could, baby.
-You know what, it is the only place you don't
get an automatic 'plus one.'
-Oh please with that, alright.
Not everything is about you.
-What happened to that guy you were dating before, that um--
Fuck, what was his name...
the Mike guy?
What happened to him?
-First of all it's Mitch.
And if you really must know...
he was a Jew.
- So?
- You know I love the Jews.
I do love the Jews, don't get me wrong.
I love the Jews. But Mitch was very Jewish.
I mean he told me that the only way we'd get married is if I
converted, and something about that just-- ugh,
just did not sit right with me.
So wait, you come home and the only non-Jew you could find
happened to be my high school sweetheart?
Your sweetheart?!
Okay, you're delusional, right?
You know that, right?
He liked you for like a minute when we were seventeen and honey
let's be real- you broke up with him.
You left.
Shoot, you haven't emailed or called me in God knows how long
and all I know is that it was long enough for this shit
to go down and you not have a fucking clue.
So what are you doing home, Athena?
-Can you pass me the toilet paper, please?
-Not until you tell me what you're doing home.
Wait, he makes you happy?
Wes, you're happy with him?
-Yeah.
Yeah.
And I'm sorry.
I really am.
If I thought you gave a shit I would have made it
a point to tell you.
-You were at least going to invite me to your wedding
though, right?
-Are you even going to come back for the wedding?
-I will come back for the wedding.
Please pass me some toilet paper.
Fuck, are you okay?
-Wes doesn't know, alright?
And I cannot tell him before the first trimester because then he
gets like- Oh and his mom...
-Stop - are we talking about the same guy who makes you
quote unquote happy?
I don't hear anything.
Oh my God...
♪ ♪
-So if anybody asks just tell them that your mother's dead.
That's why you don't have a mother.
But you have the best dad in the world so it's okay.
-So Mommy's in heaven?
-Heaven's a bunch of bullshit, kid.
Trust me.
Some very, very smart people invented heaven to sell cream
cheese and toilet paper.
-What happens when you die?
-I don't.
See?
Look.
I'm right here.
I'm not going anywhere.
You're stuck with me, baby.
-Daddy, have you found my orange marker yet?
-Come here.
Let me impart some wisdom on you, daughter.
Okay?
Sometimes in life, people lose things.
You, for example, you lost your orange marker.
Now I'm sure this cute peanut sized brain of yours doesn't
believe that you truly lost the orange marker,
only that you can't find it.
Which is why you keep asking Daddy if he's found it.
But there's a very strong probability that you're never
going to see that orange marker again.
It's gone.
Do you understand?
-Athena?
Athena?
I went to Costco.
Then I went to a deli.
Got you a pastrami sandwich, which is right here.
I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and then I went to a
great thrift store.
And - look at this...
Look at that.
It's a pillow on one side, desk on the other.
- Wow...
- Isn't that unbelievable?
That's unbelievable.
-Wait until you see this...
The best part - here.
Here, the piece de residence, or whatever that is.
Here we go.
A hot plate.
Isn't that great?
Now you can cook for us.
No more salads.
Well salads - but just not as many.
-But what's wrong with the stove?
-The repair guy said it was broken, said I needed a new one.
Those guys are always trying to gouge you!
So, I got this instead.
Look at that.
Look at that, good as new.
-Good as new.
-Hey you, no more vitamins.
-But they're healthy!
-Oh-- oh, what is it Dad?
What did you get?
Well I'm glad you asked.
I got some weights.
Because now I can fulfill my lifelong ambition of
being a weightlifter too...
-Yeah, I got the pastrami sandwich for you.
-What kind of animal am I?
-I don't know. A fish?
-What kind of fish?
-Max! Hi!
-What kind of fish am I?
-No, no, no.
I'm sorry, it's just me here.
Um...
I am all ears.
What?
So I got through to the next round!?
Okay.
The second round is the final round.
That is, um-- that is good news!
That soon?
No.
No, no, no that is um- that is not a problem.
-Yes it is.
-Uh-huh.
Okay, see you in two weeks.
-See who in two weeks?
What about Daddy?
-Shit...
-I don't know what to do, I mean--
This tour - it's everything I've been working and waiting for.
Yeah but it's your dad.
I wonder why my dad even had me.
It's not like he was ready to be a father.
-That's it right there.
Can you see it?
-It's the size of a grape!
Do you notice how our culture never celebrates
death or divorce?
-Okay, excuse me. This is not about you.
This is about me and my baby and we'd like a little
attention from auntie Athena.
Look, I have a grape!
-Look at that...
- You can't see it, can you?
- No.
No.
Come on, this is like one of those magic eye thingy's.
You know I could never do those.
-If you didn't want to give up your life,
why did you come back?
Because he asked me to.
-Because he's your dad.
-Come on.
Hey.
Come on, it's time to go.
-What time is it?
-Time to go, Daddy.
-You're- you're supposed to be here at one o'clock!
- I'm sorry.
Well I'm here now.
- Don't worry...
- Just answer the question.
- Calm down.
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine!
Where the hell were you?
I asked you a question!
Where were you?
-What do you want me say?
-Why were you late?
-The parking lot was filled with a bunch of mooks!
There, is that a good enough answer for you?
You're never on time for anything.
The only thing you haven't been late for is your fucking period!
-Jesus!
Why do always make me feel like shit for the stupidest things?
I was ten minutes late.
Big fucking deal!
I dropped my goddamn life to come take care of you.
-Why do I make you feel like shit?
The only person who can make you feel anything
is your-fucking-self!
Give me the keys, I'm driving!
- Are you sure that's a good idea?
- Give me the- You don't tell me what to do.
I tell you what to do.
I'm the boss. You're the employee.
As a matter of fact from now on you call me 'boss'!
Now give me the keys!
You're a stupid little girl who doesn't know a thing.
You don't know how to drive.
You don't know how to be on time.
You don't know how to find parking.
And you sure as fuck don't know how to dance or else
you'd have a job by now!
I'm fucking in there having chemo!
For five fucking hours!
Tell me not to live my fucking life...
♪ ♪
-Daddy!
Daddy!
-What?
What? What?
What's the matter? What's wrong?
- The tooth fairy didn't like me.
-What?
-I lost a tooth so I put it under my pillow.
-Wait- wait, wait, wait, wait- wait a minute-
You lost a tooth?
Why didn't you tell me?
-Why didn't the tooth fairy give me money?
-Well maybe last night was her night off.
-No.
-Well maybe a lot of kids lost a tooth yesterday and- you know,
she couldn't get to everybody's house on time.
That's all.
-But you said that when you lose a tooth you put it under your
pillow and the tooth fairy comes to your room and takes it and
gives it to all the little babies who don't have teeth yet.
-Yeah, I did say that...
Alright.
I'm going to level with you, kid.
Every time...
Every time a kid puts a tooth under the pillow,
their mom or their dad - they come in the room at night
and they exchange- they swap the tooth for money.
-What?
-Do you- it's- it's- Do you remember like how the Wizard
of Oz was really this little old man behind the curtain?
-I never saw it.
-We never watched The Wizard of Oz?!
Yes we-- no?
Oh, well I'm slipping.
Do you- I know you've seen this one; Do you know how
From Russia With Love, Tatiana Romanova, right?
She meets James in Istanbul to return the Lektor to England
and only to find out the whole thing was a trap.
It's like that.
That's how it is.
The tooth fairy.
Life.
Marriage.
You think something is one way only to learn that it's
something entirely different.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
It's just- you do or you don't?
I know something that you're going to understand.
I don't know how many teeth you've lost, but this...
this should cover it.
♪ ♪
-Don't you know the rule about
not calling girls who sleep with you the
first night you meet them?
-Girl, you know what they say about rules.
-What?
That they're made to be broken?
-Oh yeah.
So how are ya?
-Oh, I'm fine.
-How's your dad?
-Uh- Still very much himself.
-Good.
Good.
-Yeah.
-Uh...
I just wanted to say that, uh...
I'm always around.
You know, if you ever want to shoot the shit of just-
you know...
I'm here for you.
-Hey Bryan, I- I have to go.
-Hey, can you see the moon?
-Um...Uh yes.
Yeah, I can see it.
-You see that halo?
-No. No halo.
-I always find that funny.
That two people can be looking at the same sky on the same
night and see two different versions of the same thing.
- Hey Bryan? - Yeah?
-Thanks for calling.
-Hey Athena?
Hang in there.
-Okay.
Goodnight.
♪ ♪
-I'm here to pick up my father, Jack Morehead.
-Can you spell the last name, please?
- M-O-R-E-H-E-A-D.
-Dr. Halper, please come to the nurses station.
Dr. Halper, to the nurse's station please.
-The doctor will be right with you.
-Hey.
What do you mean by "an adverse reaction?"
The Chemo is supposed to make him better, not worse!
-Some people get worse before they get better.
Chemo is a shock to the system.
Different systems handle that shock very differently.
-Yeah? Well how did his handle it?
-Not well.
He was disoriented, very irritable, he started cursing...
-He's always like that.
-He pulled the I.V. out of his arm
and held it to a nurse's neck.
Does he always do that?
We sedated him and then his blood pressure
dropped considerably.
We just want to take precautions, run a few tests,
make sure everything checks out.
Trust me.
He'll be out in two days, maybe three.
-Trust me.
You'll want him out after two.
♪ ♪
-Close out or keep it open?
-Keep it open.
-This seat taken?
-It's all yours.
-You know, I've never been good at playing it cool or
whatever so um- I'm just going to go right ahead and
tell you why I'm here.
-What, you mean to tell me you're not a Jehovah's Witness?
What'dya say your name was?
-Let's not task ourselves with the silly chore of trying to
remember each other's name now.
-So you're not going to tell me your name?
-I prefer we go to a motel.
Or the bathroom's fine.
Then say our goodbyes and be on our merry way.
Aren't musicians used to meeting girls they'll never have
to see or talk to again?
-Listen darling, I'm sorry but I'm just going to
have to politely decline.
-I gotta friend who could get you some morphine.
You could buy a boat and we could all sail around the world
til the pain got too bad.
-You know it's not the cancer that landed me here,
it's the Chemo.
That's what got me.
-The medical profession ain't nothing but a bunch of assholes
who do whatever the insurance companies tell them to do.
-Hit me.
-No, no.
With this.
-Oh Jacky, you better watch yo-self.
You'z in the hospital.
-Come here and slap my ass.
Ah look what the cat dragged in!
-Hello Ath-ena.
- Hello Ath-ena.
- Hello Seashell.
I'm not an invalid.
- Just say thank you.
- No.
-Shhhh!
This is the best part.
- Hey, the Spy Who Loved Me?
- Yep.
Who plays James Bond in this?
Please.
Roger Moore.
- Duh!
- Yeah, yeah. That was too easy.
Everybody knows that. Alright, who played Agent XXX?
-Barbara...
-Barbara Bach.
-Very good!
Now what kind of gun was she using?
-Which one?
-In the last scene against James.
What was the gun that she had?
-Oooh, that's a hard one.
Started with a "W"...
- The...
- The Walther PPK.
That's my girl!
What a good girl.
Only girl in her class who could identify firearms.
-I can't wait to taste something other than tasteless dinner
rolls and Jell-O the texture of butter.
It's horrible.
-Hey, hey, hey!
Watch it! Watch it! I got cancer here!
I want the cancer to get me, not you!
If you want everyone to know you have a small johnson...
- Drive that car!
-Very good!
-Dad, there's something I need to talk to you about...
-Dad?
Wow, I've been promoted.
-Daddy, listen.
I got a call-
And there's something that I want to talk to you-
-Wait there!
Wait there!
-Jack, I swear I'll be back.
I swear I'll be back.
Jack, this is my life...
This is my life, Jack...
-Daddy, can I drive?
-No. No.
I just got out of the hospital.
I'm driving.
-Like I was saying, Dad.
I'm- There's something that I really want
to talk to you about-
-Athena, I just got out of the hospital.
So whatever it is can it wait?
Yeah. Sure.
-Hey, time for your vitamins.
-My throat hurts too much.
I can't swallow.
-You want some more ice chips?
-Pacifier.
-What?
-I want you to go to the drugstore and get me a pacifier.
-Are you serious?
-Go on.
-Oh.
Okay.
Wait- Did you take my sunglasses?
Oh... thank you.
I don't remember putting them up there like that.
-Excuse me, ma'am.
Can I help you find something?
-Uh yeah. Yeah.
I'm looking for a pacifier.
-Alright.
How old is your baby?
-Sixty.
- Here you go. - Wait, in a minute.
I gotta use the john.
- Oh. Okay.
-Just- just leave me be, Athena. -Fine.
-Don't just stand there - help me up!
Oh- Oh God- Oh God- - Oh, okay- -
Just go-
-No, no, no! We can not do.
-But these are his favorite pants.
Jack Morehead.
He said that you know him.
That you'd take care of it.
-Very bad. Not clean.
Very bad. Must throw away.
-He sent me here to-
-Poopy ca-ca, no!
It will go all over other customer clothing.
I'm not throwing them away.
They're my favorite pair.
-You have a closet full of at least fourteen identical pairs.
-I like those.
Those are the favorite ones.
-What- I don't know what to tell you.
- Wash them by hand.
- Excuse me?
It's just a little shit, Athena.
-No, it's a lot of shit actually And, wait a minute, forgive me
for not wanting my father's poop stench on my hands all week.
-Do you know how many times I had your poop stench on my hands?
-Oh, okay - oh my God, what - when I was a baby?
All the time!
For years on end.
-This is slightly different.
-You know what? You're such a fucking princess.
I raised you better than this.
-Hi. What do you need?
-It's two thirty...
I don't see, taste or smell my lunch.
-Does this mean your mouth is better now?
-I expect it at three o'clock. Goodbye.
-Yes, Boss.
-Where are they?
Where are they?
I know that they are somewhere in here.
-Stop! Leave them alone!
I know you took the last pack from the freezer.
- Did not! - Did too.
Don't lie to me! - Did not!
- You did too.
Do not lie to me! Okay?
♪ ♪
-You came!
-Of course.
You called and begged.
-Oh please, I didn't beg.
-I know, I'm sorry.
You just butt-dialed me and casually asked.
-What you doing?
Oh my god, okay?
You wanna do that?
-Okay, that's happening.
I don't know what's happening-- whatever that is.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
- How was your flight?
- It was long.
It was long but I'm very happy to be here.
-Yeah.
Haven't had much time-- after you, my darling.
-Thank you very much.
-I haven't had much time to clean up so don't judge me please.
-Well, no judgment.
-You've been here before so just make yourself at home...
çVOICEMAIL] -I'm sorry.
If you come back, I promise it will be different.
I promise, Athena.
I'll get a nurse.
I'll be nice.
Whatever you say-
-I quit smoking.
Finito--
-Honey Bunny, goddess of wisdom...
I can't die alone.
- Focus!
Come on, Athena!
God damn it, if you're gonna be this distracted now what
am I going to expect during rehearsals?
Let's go!
Lift it up.
Whoever's phone it is ringing, please turn if off - now!
-People, please, keep your personal belongings
in your lockers.
Thank you.
♪ ♪
-I have made you some delicious oatmeal.
Come on, Daddy. I'm back!
It is hot, it might burn your tongue.
Daddy, I'm here.
Jack?
Jack...
-Excuse me Miss? Is this your--
-He's my father.
- Do you have power of attorney?
- Yes.
-Do you want us to start his heart if it stops beating?
-Excuse me?
-Right now, your father is hooked up to a machine
that is breathing for him.
His heart is still beating on its own but it will stop soon.
And when it stops, do you want us to restart it for him?
-Yes.
-We have to crack ribs and press on his chest with all of our
might to restart the heart.
-Crack his ribs then.
- No, you don't understand-
- No. You don't understand.
-If his heart stops, crack his ribs.
-Fine.
-As you can see in the brochure we have a large selection.
You were his daughter?
-I am his daughter.
-Yes, right.
What I meant to ask is he had no spouse?
-Nope. No, never married.
-What about your mother?
-What about my mother?
-Well- where is she?
-I like to think she took the Thelma and Louise route and her
spirit is just floating somewhere over the Grand Canyon.
-No older siblings?
No other legal guardian to help you with all of this?
-I'm my legal guardian.
-That one.
♪ ♪
Could I tell them that he took a job selling
scrap metal instead of following his dreams of
playing jazz saxophone?
Could I tell them that he didn't fight for his life...
didn't take it seriously...
didn't think about how his dying would affect
those he left behind?
How about how he's handicapped me in virtually every
relationship I attempt with a member of the opposite sex?
Was I allowed to tell them the truth?
♪ ♪
"Romance is mush, stifling those who strive,
I'll live a lush life in some small dive.
Whoever feels it deepest wins.
Remember the Alamo.
Please put all wet food in the garbage disposal.
I am sensitive to the smell of rotting food.
Don't let the same dog bite you twice."
-Nice sunnies.
-Oh, you want them?
I don't know what to do with all this shit.
-You should keep them.
-Yeah?
Maybe you can tell me everything I should keep and what I'm
allowed to throw out.
-'Theens, I can't.
Please.
-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry, too.
You should come over for dinner before you go...
Nat'll like that.
-Yeah. Sure.
-We're always here for you...
all three of us.
♪ ♪
-I suppose you think I'm a massive bitch for not returning
any of your calls or texts.
-I can take a hint.
-There's no hint.
I had to go back to Florida.
-Is your dad okay?
Shit, I'm sorry.
-What are you doing this Friday?
-You know, hanging out with my boys.
Go clubbing.
- Go clubbing?
- Yeah.
What about you?
-Coming over to your place?
- Oh really?
- Uh-huh.
-I won't hold my breath.
-No, I'm being serious.
How's eight?
-Uh...
I'll have to check with my boys.
-Of course.
- But eight probably works.
- Yeah?
Okay, well text me your address.
I'll do that right now.
I mean, after I finish my-
Yeah, I'm up to like four miles- I got it.
-What's this?
-Bond marathon.
-Hey, how do I look?
-Like a slut.
-Fine- I'm going to be back in two hours tops, okay?
-Alright my lady, have a seat.
-Bryan, this isn't necessary.
-I know it's not necessary, but when was the last time someone
made you a home-cooked meal?
Now I was not sure if you ate meat or not because, you know,
all you actresses are vegan.
-I'm not an actress.
-I know.
Joking.
-She looks like you.
Your mom.
-I think the baldness really exaggerates the similarities.
Careful, I only have three more bottles.
So, uh- are you ever going to tell me what you
really do for work?
-I am a stripper.
-Do you mind if we eat first?
Look, Athena, I know how hard a time this must be for you.
-No, you don't.
-Yes, I do.
-No, just because your mom died of cancer you think that you and
I are the same somehow.
Is that it?
- What?
- The photo.
Alright, you're not exactly hiding the fact
that she had Chemo.
-My mom didn't have Chemo. I did.
My family shaved their heads when I started losing my hair.
You're not the only one in the world whose been
affected by this shit.
-Listen, I'm not-- I'm not good at this.
-What's that? Eating or talking?
-This, alright. All this.
-Look, Athena.
I'm just trying to get to know you.
-I should go.
- No, come on.
- I should go.
-No, no, no.
come on, that's a little dramatic.
-No, you know what?
I don't do the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing.
I don't want to do that with you.
-What about the whole grown-up talking to another
grown-up over dinner thing?
Do you do that?
-Look, I didn't come over here for you to wine and dine me and
be all nice to me and tell me everyone has fucking cancer.
-No, you just came here for little empty, meaningless sex.
-I'm sorry - what kind of fag turns down a half naked girl
in his living room?!
-The kind who knows you can't keep fucking away your pain.
-"Pain"?
My pain?
Well what are you now, my fucking shrink?
- Oh come on.
We both know that you don't have a therapist.
-Oh fuck you!
What is that?!
-It's the soufflé.
I made it for dessert.
-It's Jack!
You know what to do.
- Daddy...
I just wanted to say that I'm...
that I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry for everything...
I forgive you...
I do... I do.
I forgive you.
Daddy, this is so hard...
I miss you...
And I love you.
♪ ♪
-Alright, hold the music - stop!
-Athena...
I'm sorry, Max.
I'm so sorry.
- Shhh.
-I'm sorry.
-Welcome back.
♪ ♪
-Smile!
Smile, baby.
One, two, three!
♪ ♪
Got it?
♪ ♪
-Big smile, Athena.
One, two, three!
-Yeah!!!
♪ ♪
I love you, princess.
If you want someone to know you have a small johnson-
- drive that car!
Very good.
-Honey bunny...goddess of wisdom...
What are we having, honey bunny?
-Good to see you, honey bunny.
Honey B-- Athena...
♪ ♪
-...that orange marker is gone.
...forever.
You've never going to see it again.
And that's okay...
♪ ♪