1
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:43,376
<i>COMMENTA TOR: So the anticipation builds,
the brink of history,</i>

2
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:48,258
<i>the moments that separate
the gods from the mortals.</i>

3
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:54,556
<i>AII eyes paring down
on this single figure.</i>

4
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,025
<i>Here we go.</i>

5
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,865
<i>He's done it!</i>

6
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,696
<i>The legend of the Little Master grows!</i>

7
00:01:09,697 --> 00:01:13,495
<i>And they stand to salute
Sachin Tendulkar.</i>

8
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,872
<i>TED: According to popular opinion,</i>

9
00:01:16,873 --> 00:01:21,961
<i>Sachin Tendulkar is the second-greatest
batsman in the history of world cricket.</i>

10
00:01:21,962 --> 00:01:25,257
<i>Now, I never got to see
Sir Donald Bradman wield the willow,</i>

11
00:01:25,258 --> 00:01:28,921
<i>but I did see Sachin
on his first tour of Australia.</i>

12
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:33,884
<i>He was 18. I was 14,
and it was beautiful to watch.</i>

13
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:37,555
<i>I</i> Channel Nine cricket theme.

14
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:40,560
<i>MAN: 20 years on, he's still playing,
and, in my opinion,</i>

15
00:01:40,561 --> 00:01:45,021
<i>Sachin is the greatest cricketer ever.
The Little Master.</i>

16
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:49,869
<i>Me? I'm Ted Brown, the president.</i>

17
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,157
WOMAN: This is the entertainment area.

18
00:01:53,158 --> 00:01:56,121
An architect did the extension,
but the colour palette is mine.

19
00:01:56,122 --> 00:01:58,835
And this one, this is Teddy Brown.
He's mine.

20
00:01:58,836 --> 00:02:00,828
Morning, Stav, Janine.

21
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,831
Ted's living in our garage...
temporarily.

22
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,922
- Mate, Stava-chino?
- Nah, nah, I'm right.

23
00:02:05,923 --> 00:02:08,464
- But you are playing, though, yeah?
- Mate...

24
00:02:08,465 --> 00:02:11,716
<i>TED: This is Stav, the vice-captain
and stylish all-rounder.</i>

25
00:02:11,717 --> 00:02:14,844
- He talks a great game.
- I've got a ton in me today, brother.

26
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,435
After Sasha and Shahni's
swimming lessons

27
00:02:18,436 --> 00:02:19,977
and a trip to IKEA for my darling.

28
00:02:19,978 --> 00:02:22,067
Stav's got it covered.

29
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:28,024
<i>TED: If you don't play cricket,
I guess it's hard to understand,</i>

30
00:02:28,025 --> 00:02:31,527
<i>but from the moment</i>
I <i>first picked up a bat, I knew...</i>

31
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,237
Morning.

32
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,947
<i>..This was my game.</i>

33
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:38,375
<i>I could see myself one day
pulling on the baggy green cap,</i>

34
00:02:38,376 --> 00:02:41,744
<i>stepping onto the hallowed turf
of the MCG</i>

35
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,089
<i>and playing for Australia.</i>

36
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:54,717
Ricky. OK, there we go.

37
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,676
Let's hug one out.

38
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,848
<i>TED: This is Ricky, the captain.</i>

39
00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:02,223
<i>He's a gifted batsman,
but he lacks the appropriate discipline.</i>

40
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:03,938
- Big night, was it?
- S0 big.

41
00:03:03,939 --> 00:03:05,479
- Hmm.
- The biggest... ever.

42
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,024
- You wouldn't pick it.
- Are you going to make a speech, Ted?

43
00:03:08,025 --> 00:03:10,115
- Last game of the season and all.
- I should.

44
00:03:10,116 --> 00:03:13,192
<i>TED: Cricket is more than just a game.</i>

45
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,823
<i>It's the roar of the crowd
and the crack of leather on willow.</i>

46
00:03:16,824 --> 00:03:19,490
<i>It's skill and grace and drama</i>

47
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:22,870
<i>in the pressure-cooker atmosphere
of fierce competition,</i>

48
00:03:22,871 --> 00:03:28,416
<i>and it's all right here with the mighty
Abbotsford Anglers Cricket Club.</i>

49
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:31,335
Another season gone, eh, boys?

50
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:34,338
Go by so fast, don't they?

51
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,053
It's not been one of our finest. Col?

52
00:03:36,054 --> 00:03:38,345
Four wins, eight losses, three forfeits.

53
00:03:38,346 --> 00:03:41,721
<i>TED: This is Colin, club secretary
and statistician to the stars.</i>

54
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,431
<i>He loves the numbers.</i>

55
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:47,101
- We finished ninth.
- So... no finals for us.

56
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,523
Chin up, lads, there's always next year,

57
00:03:49,524 --> 00:03:53,069
'cause the spirit of cricket
lives right here with the Anglers.

58
00:03:53,070 --> 00:03:54,780
MAN: Yes, Teddy!
- It does. It does.

59
00:03:54,781 --> 00:03:56,744
It lives with Shadow, the big unit.

60
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:59,289
It lives with Punter and Gobba,
Hangarz and Brett,

61
00:03:59,290 --> 00:04:01,699
elite athletes, every one of you.

62
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,624
And Colin. Col's not missed a game for,
what, seven...?

63
00:04:04,625 --> 00:04:06,496
- 11.
- 11... 11 years?

64
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,581
- 11.
- 11 years on the trot.

65
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,333
I mean... JLISt...

66
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,803
- And Prince, he's...
MAN: Princeton.

67
00:04:13,804 --> 00:04:15,468
Always enthusiastic.

68
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,217
- And Rick...
MAN: Good on ya, Ricky.

69
00:04:18,218 --> 00:04:22,470
He is here week in, week out,
with or without a hangover.

70
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:26,056
Here, boys, here. Here.

71
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:29,185
Where summer Saturdays,
yeah, they're sacred,

72
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,150
where best mates bond over bat and ball,

73
00:04:31,151 --> 00:04:34,318
where the dreams that we had as boys
live on as men.

74
00:04:34,319 --> 00:04:36,068
Yeah, come on, Anglers! Come on!

75
00:04:36,069 --> 00:04:39,365
- Time to step up, Anglers.
- Abbotsford, are you ready?

76
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:43,583
- Have you got a team?
- We got it all, Umpie. We got it all.

77
00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:49,789
- Wield that axe, Teddy! Whoop-whoop!
- He's late again.

78
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:53,044
Stav has lost focus, have you noticed?
He's played six games this year.

79
00:04:53,045 --> 00:04:56,134
No batting like your grandma,
Fanta Pants. It's not a test match.

80
00:04:56,135 --> 00:04:58,425
I suspect he's playing golf
and hiding it from us.

81
00:04:58,426 --> 00:05:00,970
Teddy, I wanna tell you something,
before we start...

82
00:05:00,971 --> 00:05:02,844
- I just wanna tell you something.
- What?

83
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,313
Rafaela's pregnant, mate.

84
00:05:05,314 --> 00:05:09,016
I'm gonna be a dad. We're having a baby.

85
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,987
MAN: Any time today, please, ladies.
- Teddy, say something.

86
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:17,107
Gentlemen, please,
too much time-wasting.

87
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:20,199
Let's get on with the game,
otherwise I'll have to deduct some runs.

88
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:24,450
Everything is gonna be alright, Umpie.
Everything's gonna be alright.

89
00:05:24,451 --> 00:05:28,035
Whoa. Teddy!

90
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,664
RICKY: Gonna be a dad.
We're having a baby.

91
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,291
Teddy... wah!

92
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,340
TEAM: Ooh!

93
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,886
STAV: That's it. It's all over, mate.

94
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,222
Your sex life is over.

95
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:52,148
Once a human head pops out, you'll never
look at that vagina the same way again.

96
00:05:52,149 --> 00:05:55,604
- What, it changes?
- Everything changes, Ricky.

97
00:05:55,605 --> 00:06:01,986
You're gone, down a dark hole of
pregnancy, nesting, newborns, marriage,

98
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:04,740
not to mention no more cricket
for little Ricky Poontang.

99
00:06:04,741 --> 00:06:07,116
- Shit, Teddy, is that an ingrown hair?
- Oh...

100
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,207
With a family, it's very hard to justify

101
00:06:09,208 --> 00:06:12,206
a whole day standing around
with a bunch of dudes wearing whites.

102
00:06:12,207 --> 00:06:13,914
Priorities, Ricky.

103
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:18,294
TED: Priorities? What happened?

104
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,591
We were gonna take on the world,
you know?

105
00:06:20,592 --> 00:06:22,432
Now they're ready to throw it all away.

106
00:06:22,433 --> 00:06:25,009
Some blokes lose perspective.

107
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:29,811
They let ladies and life
just get in the way of cricket.

108
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:34,226
They have babies
and they lose the passion, you know?

109
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,521
Reflexes, eyesight goes.

110
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,858
It's just so hard
to field the team these days.

111
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:44,614
A few precious hours on a Saturday.
That's too much to ask?

112
00:06:44,615 --> 00:06:47,833
You don't have to convince me,
Teddy Brown.

113
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,791
We gotta do something.

114
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,704
Reignite that passion.

115
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,423
- Another trivia night?
- No.

116
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,043
No, this is serious.

117
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,923
- I'm the president of this club.
- You are.

118
00:07:01,924 --> 00:07:03,640
- Don't.
- No.

119
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,518
What do you reckon, Sachin?

120
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,808
Are we ready to play for Australia?

121
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,398
- No.
- You need a team. I have a team.

122
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,275
No, I need a quality team.

123
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,985
<i>TED: This is Sanjeet.</i>

124
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:29,579
<i>He's got money, loves cricket and
he sponsors a team to India every year.</i>

125
00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:32,164
This is a very prestigious tournament.

126
00:07:32,165 --> 00:07:34,504
- And we're seasoned campaigners.
- You mean 'old'?

127
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:38,334
Uh, no, no. I mean experienced
in all facets of the game.

128
00:07:38,335 --> 00:07:41,462
Not this game, Ted.
India's a whole new ball game.

129
00:07:41,463 --> 00:07:44,340
We have been preparing for this
our entire lives.

130
00:07:44,341 --> 00:07:46,048
- Aww...
- We are solid.

131
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:48,139
We've three premierships,
two runners-up,

132
00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:50,387
and even one of those
was very controversial too.

133
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,471
Please, Sanj...

134
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,306
- Listen...
- Please.

135
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,436
Trust me when I tell you this, Ted,
this tour is out of your league.

136
00:07:57,437 --> 00:07:59,904
- But...
- Answer is no, Teddy.

137
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,689
Subhash...

138
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,529
Can you please stop that noise, Colin?

139
00:08:03,530 --> 00:08:05,903
Who else are you gonna get?
We are right here.

140
00:08:05,904 --> 00:08:08,195
- No, Teddy.
- I'm...

141
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,072
Hello? Subhash, my friend.

142
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:13,703
I'll get it sorted
by the end of the day.

143
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,171
<i>HEY-</i>

144
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,586
Is anyone booked into net six this arvo?

145
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,754
Top shelf.

146
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:29,425
- Training?
- Yes.

147
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,135
This is highly unusual.

148
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:34,684
Yeah, Teddy's got an idea.
We have to look professional.

149
00:08:34,685 --> 00:08:36,604
- Uniforms...
- Uniforms open doors.

150
00:08:36,605 --> 00:08:40,144
<i>TED: This is the club's
spiritual advisor, Prince.</i>

151
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:42,187
<i>He's the guru of the googly.</i>

152
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,067
- What does the president have in mind?
- Unclear at this stage.

153
00:08:45,068 --> 00:08:46,784
There are several theories, however.

154
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,861
Perhaps a winter comp or a testimonial

155
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,158
or maybe Teddy's been sniffing
the bat oil again.

156
00:08:51,159 --> 00:08:53,621
- I left a message!
- Yeah, I got your messages, Teddy.

157
00:08:53,622 --> 00:08:55,993
- All 15 of them.
- Mate, everyone is here.

158
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:58,709
I need my number three.
You're the best batsman in the club.

159
00:08:58,710 --> 00:09:01,504
Well, that's correct,
but I'm still not coming to training.

160
00:09:01,505 --> 00:09:06,503
Do you remember when we were kids, hey?
Internationals. We had a dream.

161
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,344
Yeah, I know, Teddy,
but I don't dream about cricket anymore.

162
00:09:09,345 --> 00:09:12,056
All I dream about is drill bits
and working the babysitter.

163
00:09:12,057 --> 00:09:14,805
- Summer is over, my friend.
- Alright, alright, fine.

164
00:09:14,806 --> 00:09:16,305
Well, if you're not coming down,

165
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:19,435
the selectors are gonna be forced
to take a new number three on tour.

166
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:24,354
Tour? What tour? And who was that?

167
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,273
Teddy? Who hit that?

168
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,901
Come on, mate.
I'm not asking too much, alright.

169
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,951
15 minutes, just wear the hat,
pretend to be an Angler.

170
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:37,168
- What's it in for me?
- Free net sessions for a week.

171
00:09:37,169 --> 00:09:41,381
- Make it a month.
- Alright, alright, a month.

172
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,795
<i>TED: This is Mark, the ring-in.</i>

173
00:09:44,796 --> 00:09:47,888
<i>He's</i> a <i>regular in the nets
and a regular young smart-arse.</i>

174
00:09:47,889 --> 00:09:49,631
And a new pair of shoes.

175
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:55,224
Alright, alright, OK, alright.
New shoes, new shoes. Come on.

176
00:09:55,225 --> 00:09:57,894
- I could do with a new bat.
- Couldn't we all. Come on. Hat.

177
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:02,688
Look alive, Anglers.
Let's look tall, let's look handsome.

178
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,653
Let's take a leaf out of Shadow's book.

179
00:10:04,654 --> 00:10:07,900
A good-looking team
is a successful team, Col.

180
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,406
Gobba!

181
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,034
- Whoa.
- Oh-ho-ho! You got smacked, Gobba!

182
00:10:14,035 --> 00:10:18,285
This is exactly what we're talking
about, guys. Right on, off stump.

183
00:10:18,286 --> 00:10:22,329
Sanjeet, you're still here?

184
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,498
- Who are these guys?
- Who?

185
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:28,049
Oh, these guys? They're just my Anglers,
off-season training.

186
00:10:28,050 --> 00:10:29,753
- Anglers?
- Yeah.

187
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:34,800
- Young and keen and tight little unit.
- So tight.

188
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,895
- Who's that guy?
- Uh, that's...

189
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,974
Yeah, who is that guy, Teddy,
and why is he wearing an Angler's cap?

190
00:10:39,975 --> 00:10:41,849
That's very funny, Stav.

191
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:45,648
No, of course, that's Mark, my number
three batsman. Very handy.

192
00:10:45,649 --> 00:10:48,774
- How was golf?
- Don't know what you're talking about.

193
00:10:48,775 --> 00:10:51,617
Gobba? Prince?

194
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,994
Die, Twinkle Toes.

195
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,412
- Very up-ish. Get over it.
MAN: Get lessons, Stav!

196
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,253
I'm Stavros Bane McEvoy,
Anglers run-machine, club legend.

197
00:11:06,254 --> 00:11:08,464
- I hear there's a tour on offer.
- A tournament.

198
00:11:08,465 --> 00:11:10,336
- Exclusive, or...?
- Highly exclusive.

199
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,969
I organised a team,
but it has fallen through,

200
00:11:12,970 --> 00:11:15,048
and I don't like losing face.

201
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:18,343
- Well, we can save your face.
- Yeah.

202
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,765
- Which grade to you play in?
- Well, we're D...

203
00:11:20,766 --> 00:11:23,687
- A-grade. We're totally A-grade.
- Yep. A-grade.

204
00:11:23,688 --> 00:11:25,767
What about that guy?

205
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,644
- Will he play if I sponsor you?
- No.

206
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:30,192
We haven't actually worked out
our touring 11 just yet.

207
00:11:30,193 --> 00:11:32,943
Whoa, whoa, whoa, sponsor?
Are we talking cash?

208
00:11:32,944 --> 00:11:35,694
Oh, no, no. Ha-ha. I don't pay players.

209
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:39,495
Just arrange for the flights
and the accommodation. That's all.

210
00:11:39,496 --> 00:11:44,369
I mean, it's a major financial
commitment to take a team to India.

211
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,413
- India?
- India.

212
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,373
- India?
- India, yes.

213
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,083
- India?
- Mmm.

214
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,131
- That is genius. I am in.
- It's the toughest tour in world sport.

215
00:11:53,132 --> 00:11:54,843
A journey of enlightenment.

216
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,386
- I'll need a new scorebook.
- An international tour...

217
00:11:57,387 --> 00:11:59,473
Which makes me
an international cricketer.

218
00:11:59,474 --> 00:12:01,346
Playing for Australia, living the dream.

219
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:05,354
In India. I'm in again. I'm in twice.
I can't get more in... clia.

220
00:12:05,355 --> 00:12:07,059
Yep?

221
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,852
So give me your word.

222
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:13,450
A quality team to represent my academy,
all the way to the finals in Bombay.

223
00:12:13,451 --> 00:12:17,903
Abbotsford Anglers on tour
and at your service.

224
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,239
- Good.
- Yes.

225
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,834
SANJEET: Abbotsford Anglers.
What a ridiculous name.

226
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,537
Now, don't muck it up, guys.
I don't want to lose face.

227
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:30,425
Be the change
you want to see in the world, Ted.

228
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,793
- OK, yep.
- That's Gandhi.

229
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:36,505
A lot to learn from the man
with no shoes.

230
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:38,884
- Right.
RICKY: I wanna announce something.

231
00:12:38,885 --> 00:12:42,012
Rick's bucks party in Bombay.

232
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,223
Signing off. Signing off.

233
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:47,933
I Eve vi viPPee viPPee ai.

234
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,686
J' Singing eye yi yippee yippee ai.

235
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:54,731
J' Singing Abbotsford Anglers?
Guys, guys, just shh!

236
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:57,567
J' Singing eye yi yippee yippee ai. I.

237
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,696
ALL: Yeah!

238
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:04,455
J' Bhangra music.

239
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:38,195
RICKY: Incredible India, eh?
- You think they're all here for us?

240
00:13:38,196 --> 00:13:40,160
Dunno, but they're definitely all here.

241
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,286
Yeah, sure. What's your name?

242
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:51,210
ANGLER: Check it, Teddy!

243
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:53,883
RICKY: Go, the Anklets!
- Look, Stav.

244
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,128
TED: Guys, guys, guys!

245
00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:02,851
OK, as of this moment,
we are Australian cricketers on tour.

246
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:09,351
With that comes
certain responsibilities, OK?

247
00:14:09,352 --> 00:14:12,148
So let's behave accordingly.
Everything in moderation.

248
00:14:12,149 --> 00:14:15,020
Rick? Rick?

249
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:18,315
- Yes, sir.
- Everything... in... moderation.

250
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,150
<i>'</i> Why me? " Right?"

251
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,778
Now, let's play as a team,
not as individuals.

252
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,488
Yes, Anglers.

253
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,992
Stay together
and stay in uniforms because...

254
00:14:26,993 --> 00:14:29,034
ALL: Uniforms open doors.

255
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,831
They do, though. That's the thing.

256
00:14:30,832 --> 00:14:35,004
Just stay focused on the job at hand,
and we can win that final in Bombay.

257
00:14:35,005 --> 00:14:37,798
And the Anglers can live forever!

258
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,967
J' Indian classical music.

259
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,970
<i>TED: India</i> -

260
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,014
<i>cricket's final frontier.</i>

261
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:56,738
<i>It's 1.2 billion cricket-obsessed locals
versus 11 ambitious Australians.</i>

262
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,531
<i>Touring the subcontinent
presents a whole new challenge</i>

263
00:15:04,532 --> 00:15:06,247
<i>for the international cricketer</i> -

264
00:15:06,248 --> 00:15:09,741
<i>the crowds, the chaos, the culture.</i>

265
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:13,665
<i>But a tour is also a unique opportunity
for mates to come together,</i>

266
00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:17,258
<i>far from the distractions of home,
to bond as a team</i>

267
00:15:17,259 --> 00:15:20,210
<i>and focus on what's important.</i>

268
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:22,421
<i>We have to be switched on 24/7,</i>

269
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,464
<i>mentally and physically.</i>

270
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,685
<i>We have to take every opportunity
to find an edge over our opposition,</i>

271
00:15:27,686 --> 00:15:30,470
<i>acclimatise to local conditions,</i>

272
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:35,642
<i>and understand that
the eyes of the world are upon us.</i>

273
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:39,771
J' Flamenco guitar music.

274
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,776
J' Exotic singing.

275
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,179
COLIN: Give me the bowler, boys.
Give me the bowler.

276
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,435
CHILDREN: That's it, boys!
COLIN: Catch him!

277
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,475
Oh!

278
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,485
- Whoo-hoo.
- Very good cricket.

279
00:16:21,486 --> 00:16:23,324
- Thank you.
- What is your country?

280
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,448
Uh, Australia. I'm Ted Brown,
Abbotsford Anglers. What about you?

281
00:16:26,449 --> 00:16:31,281
- Indian cricketer. Sachin's brother.
- Tendulkar?

282
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:35,003
You're his brother?
Are you ser... Can we meet him?

283
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:40,000
Sorry, is that a yes or a no?

284
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,335
Colin...

285
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,805
OK, now, you say... Yeah.

286
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,220
- Yeah, that's good. That's good.
- Buy flute, sir?

287
00:16:48,221 --> 00:16:50,344
- No, I don't wanna buy a flute.
- Just try, sir.

288
00:16:50,345 --> 00:16:52,061
I don't wanna play the flute!

289
00:16:52,062 --> 00:16:55,808
- I miss your bum.
- Ohhhhh...

290
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,734
RICKY: I wanna bite it.
It's little and wobbly.

291
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:03,230
Bloke down the road is making me a suit
for 550 rupees.

292
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:06,861
- What's that, ten bucks?
- Three pots of Carlton for a suit!

293
00:17:06,862 --> 00:17:08,860
- What colour?
- Peach.

294
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,029
Ha-ha! I know.

295
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,281
How fuckin' hot is peach?

296
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,580
Even you'd pick up in peach, Teddy.

297
00:17:15,581 --> 00:17:18,078
Ooh, it's Janine.

298
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,413
Must be missing the battered Stav.

299
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:23,250
Namaste, sexy face.

300
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:26,127
Why are you crying?

301
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:30,053
Don't cry, babe. We've got
plenty of time till it pops out.

302
00:17:30,054 --> 00:17:32,008
Yeah, it's great. Fantastic.

303
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,386
Smells like Nanna's armpits,
but that's alright.

304
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:38,267
September? Shit.

305
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:44,479
No, I mean, 'Shit, how good...
that it's soon... and not far away.'

306
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,232
Yeah, he's good.
He's right here next to me.

307
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:50,863
Uh, not yet.
I haven't had a chance to, have I?

308
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,992
No, no, my boys are right here.

309
00:17:56,993 --> 00:18:01,544
J' Bollywood music.

310
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,927
Mmm... semi-hot.

311
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:17,053
Hot. You're in India, Ted.

312
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,894
A world of flavour at your feet
and you're eating baked beans.

313
00:18:19,895 --> 00:18:22,689
- Good enough for Warnie.
STAV: Oh, smoking hot.

314
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:27,105
- Oh, hey! Not him. Eww...
TED: No, no, no.

315
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,485
Leather jacket, big hair,
very popular with the local ladies.

316
00:18:30,486 --> 00:18:33,862
STAV: Why wouldn't he be? Look at him.
He looks like a Bollywood Fonzie.

317
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:35,572
Hey!

318
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:38,201
Who's up for a Mummy's Little Helper
and a duty-free G&T?

319
00:18:38,202 --> 00:18:39,909
- That's me.
- Excellent.

320
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:42,379
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
We've got a big game tomorrow, boys.

321
00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:45,170
- I'm having a baby in September.
- Oh.

322
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:48,084
- Mister Edward?
- Oh, great timing.

323
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:51,426
Can we get some tonic water
and four glasses, please, soldier?

324
00:18:51,427 --> 00:18:53,718
- And some ice, thanks, mate.
- Don't eat the ice.

325
00:18:53,719 --> 00:18:56,556
Sliced lemon, umbrellas
and some salty snacks. You choose.

326
00:18:56,557 --> 00:18:58,600
Message for
Australian Cricket President.

327
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,306
MAN: Ooh, message.

328
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:03,141
Yes, I am
the Australian Cricket President.

329
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,185
- Whoo.
- Teddy Brown.

330
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:07,405
'Uh, Shri Subhash Chandrakant

331
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,903
and the Aravind International
Cricket Tournament

332
00:19:09,904 --> 00:19:12,359
welcome the Australian Anglers...'

333
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,069
Thank you very much.

334
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:17,161
'..And cordially invite them to
a press conference and drinks

335
00:19:17,162 --> 00:19:18,870
at the Kolkata Sports Club.'

336
00:19:18,871 --> 00:19:21,119
MAN: Press conference!
- And drinks! High five.

337
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,246
- We are internationals.
ALL: Us.

338
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:29,376
Oh, will there be speeches?
I really do like a speech.

339
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:31,675
Testing one, two. One, two.

340
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:39,767
We are very much glad that the Anglian
team has come all the way to Calcutta...

341
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:45,141
- Sit down, lads.
- Should I sit...?

342
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:48,362
To represent my old friend
Sanjeet Thambuswarmy.

343
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:54,281
Australian cricket teams
have fearsome reputations...

344
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,954
Damn straight!
Go, Anglers, Premiers 2001.

345
00:19:56,955 --> 00:19:58,573
Rick, Rick...

346
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:00,365
I'm sorry. Sorry, Ted.

347
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,209
But tomorrow at Eden Gardens,

348
00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:06,413
Kolkata Tramways Company
will be a challenging test.

349
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,081
- Oh...
- Well...

350
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:10,881
The winning team will qualify for
the tournament finals

351
00:20:10,882 --> 00:20:14,050
on the hallowed turf
of Bombay Cricket Club.

352
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,052
Fix it.

353
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:24,389
- Anjali.
- What are you doing...?

354
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,860
For the losers, it's off to Varanasi
for the knock-out qualification game.

355
00:20:27,861 --> 00:20:29,561
Ooh.

356
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,280
- Oh, Teddy!
- Makes me proud.

357
00:20:31,281 --> 00:20:35,942
I hope you are not so clumsy
in the field tomorrow.

358
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:39,529
TED: We'll be fine.
- Anyway, good luck, Australia.

359
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:43,706
Good luck, Anglicans,
and good luck, Kolkata Tramway.

360
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:50,832
Um, if you'd asked me a month ago
where I'd...

361
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:52,927
Yep. MAN: Good speech, Teddy.

362
00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:58,381
Who's, um... who's the tasty local dish?

363
00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:03,511
Yeah, I think that might be
Sanjeet's little girl, all grown up.

364
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:06,265
- Come on. Whoo-hoo!
- Is he drunk?

365
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:09,227
He's not even drunk?
This is how he dances normally?

366
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,404
Gimme some more, gimme some more.

367
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:14,653
- I said, a 'punt'.
- Punt. Yes.

368
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:20,446
It has its moments,
but tell me, how's Melbourne?

369
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,873
Dad says that
you're still working in the shop?

370
00:21:22,874 --> 00:21:24,115
Yep, YeP-

371
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:28,620
Ted's a manager now.
Head of retail. Bats, balls...

372
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:31,790
- Hi, I'm Anjali.
- Oh, you remember Colin.

373
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,459
- We've met.
- Yep.

374
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,050
- He works in the Academy with me.
- Mm-hm.

375
00:21:37,051 --> 00:21:39,925
- I do your old job.
- Oh, really? Better than me, I hope.

376
00:21:39,926 --> 00:21:41,633
I was hopeless...

377
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,635
- No...
- ..Especially at the ball machine.

378
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:46,685
- I'm very good at it.
- I'm sure.

379
00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:49,849
- Mm-hm.
- Are you still with your fiancée?

380
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:53,070
- Um, I forget her name.
- Margaret. No. She left him.

381
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:57,941
- Summer, 2005/06...
- I'm sorw.

382
00:21:57,942 --> 00:21:59,818
- ..For another woman.
- Oh, don't...

383
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:03,995
Hockey player. Been pretty quiet
on the old lady front since, hey?

384
00:22:03,996 --> 00:22:08,711
Anjali! Whoo! From pimply teen
to smoking Indian princess.

385
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:12,040
- Hi, Stav. Nice to see you.
- Hello. Likewise.

386
00:22:12,041 --> 00:22:14,711
Hey, the Anglers' pin-up
needs a photo with the big wigs.

387
00:22:14,712 --> 00:22:17,507
This face belongs in the news.
Can you help?

388
00:22:17,508 --> 00:22:19,176
Of course. Come on.

389
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:25,140
So, you're keeping stats
on my love life now?

390
00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:26,846
I keep stats on everything, Ted,

391
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:31,184
though that particular scoresheet
has been blank for a long time.

392
00:22:31,185 --> 00:22:33,151
Hey, hey, hey-

393
00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:38,147
Is that your...
is that your natural colour?

394
00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:41,698
Ted here's a redhead. You guys should
have a talk, ginge minge to ginge minge.

395
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,156
Which one is the captain?

396
00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:48,584
Uh, he's that... that guy.

397
00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:56,624
What's he doing?
? Rock and roll...?

398
00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:59,174
<i>Mummy's Little Helper's kicked in.
? Rock and roll...?</i>

399
00:22:59,175 --> 00:23:02,013
He's singing...
? Rock and roll...?

400
00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,715
This is madness. Let's go.

401
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:07,061
India, are you ready to rock'n'roll?

402
00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:11,598
MAN: Crikey.

403
00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:14,148
MAN 2: Yeah! Ricky!

404
00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:19,731
Good morning.

405
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:22,235
- Thank you. How much?
- Four rupees.

406
00:23:22,236 --> 00:23:25,363
OK. Thank you. Good morning.

407
00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:30,292
Hmm...

408
00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:49,719
Ready to rock'n'roll, are we?

409
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,563
What time did you get to bed?

410
00:23:51,564 --> 00:23:54,933
Dunno, but we weren't far
behind you guys.

411
00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:58,144
Rick and Prince got in at 5:47am.

412
00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:01,319
They woke half the hotel singing
Dreadlock Holiday in the lobby.

413
00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:05,151
- J' I was walkin' down the street... J'
- Rick...

414
00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:08,821
It's a media farce. It's unbelievable.
Ooh.

415
00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:12,038
- J' I heard a dark voice beside of me J'
- Rick, what did we say on the bus?

416
00:24:12,039 --> 00:24:14,287
Moderation. This calls for a suspension.

417
00:24:14,288 --> 00:24:16,457
J' I looked around
in a state of fright... J'

418
00:24:16,458 --> 00:24:18,581
Rick, the club is bigger
than the individual.

419
00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:21,209
- J' I saw four faces, one mad J'
- This is simply not acceptable.

420
00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:22,799
J' A brother from the gutter...?

421
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,011
Come on, it's hardly
the ideal preparation, is it?

422
00:24:26,012 --> 00:24:29,509
Mate, we've been preparing like this
since we were 15.

423
00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:32,730
Hey, you are meant to behave
like a touring captain.

424
00:24:32,731 --> 00:24:34,430
Don't.

425
00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:36,479
Don't... I should take it off you.

426
00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:40,146
No, consider this an official warning.

427
00:24:40,229 --> 00:24:42,569
You step out of line again
and you will be suspended.

428
00:24:42,570 --> 00:24:45,361
- What for, having fun? Banging drums?
- Yep. All of the above.

429
00:24:45,362 --> 00:24:48,283
- This isn't a holiday, Richard.
- Not with you around, Col.

430
00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:52,532
I must have posed for, what,
1,000 photos last night?

431
00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:55,205
- Teddy, have a look at this.
- Oh, we made the paper!

432
00:24:55,206 --> 00:24:56,873
- No, we didn't.
- We made the paper.

433
00:24:56,874 --> 00:25:00,625
'Anglers number three Mark Dickstick
to represent the Australian visitors.'

434
00:25:00,626 --> 00:25:02,338
- Him and I need to have a chat.
- No.

435
00:25:02,339 --> 00:25:05,006
What you need to do is let your bat
do the talking, alright?

436
00:25:05,007 --> 00:25:08,679
Guys, come on! It's time to make
our international debut.

437
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,591
J' I don't like cricket?

438
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:12,385
- God...
- J' Oh, no J'

439
00:25:12,386 --> 00:25:15,013
- Ten minutes, in your whites.
- J' I love it <i>I.</i>

440
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:17,733
- Stav, 'Dreadlock holiday.'
- J' Dreadlock holiday. I.

441
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:23,190
J' Indian folk singing.

442
00:25:37,745 --> 00:25:41,795
Hey, Protein. There's two types
of people in this world, yeah?

443
00:25:41,796 --> 00:25:45,590
The Stavs and the Stav-nots.

444
00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:49,014
We clear? Good.

445
00:26:04,146 --> 00:26:07,070
It's not exactly Eden Gardens.

446
00:26:07,149 --> 00:26:10,071
Where's the crowd? Paper said
there'd be thousands here today.

447
00:26:10,072 --> 00:26:13,164
Crowd? What about a pitch?
It's a goat track, literally.

448
00:26:13,165 --> 00:26:15,239
Just relax, boys.

449
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:18,910
- We're on Indian time now.
- They look fit.

450
00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:21,460
Yeah, none of these cats
were at the function yesterday.

451
00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:23,256
Where are the fat conductors?

452
00:26:23,257 --> 00:26:27,719
J' Band plays tune.

453
00:26:30,714 --> 00:26:32,924
- Hi, Ted.
- Sanjeet.

454
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:35,343
Mr Subhash, sir.

455
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:38,473
- Nervous, Ted?
- A little, yeah.

456
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:42,109
Don't let the occasion
get the better of you.

457
00:26:42,110 --> 00:26:43,810
- Good.
- Go for it.

458
00:26:43,811 --> 00:26:44,858
Good.

459
00:26:48,816 --> 00:26:51,359
Righto, Anglers. Come on.

460
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:56,491
OK, guys, please do not let the occasion
get the better of us.

461
00:26:58,909 --> 00:27:00,618
<i>Ricky...</i>

462
00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:03,334
- Yes, it is our debut on foreign soil.
- Listen to Ricky.

463
00:27:03,335 --> 00:27:05,376
And, yes, the opposition
do look imposing.

464
00:27:05,377 --> 00:27:07,001
Bring it in. Come on, guys.

465
00:27:07,084 --> 00:27:09,505
And, yes, it is 600 degrees
in the shade.

466
00:27:09,506 --> 00:27:12,006
- Innit.
- But this is park cricket.

467
00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:15,009
And no-one - and I mean no-one -

468
00:27:15,092 --> 00:27:17,971
plays park cricket
like the Abbotsford Anglers.

469
00:27:17,972 --> 00:27:19,804
Come on!

470
00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:22,934
Stavos, do you wanna bowl the first ball
on the subcontinent?

471
00:27:22,935 --> 00:27:25,186
Let me just check. Fuck, yeah.

472
00:27:25,269 --> 00:27:29,689
Abbotsford... ALL: Anglers!

473
00:27:29,690 --> 00:27:33,490
J' Funk music.

474
00:27:54,464 --> 00:27:57,008
- Mine! Mine!
- Mine! Mine!

475
00:27:57,009 --> 00:27:58,727
0h!

476
00:28:17,779 --> 00:28:20,031
STAV: Come on, Teddy! Catch it!

477
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:22,455
Mine!

478
00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:32,086
Highest score ever against the Anglers.

479
00:28:32,087 --> 00:28:34,712
Yes, some very wrong fielding out there,
Anglers.

480
00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:36,589
I'm embarrassed for you. All of you.

481
00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:40,720
- Did one of their batsman make 200?
- Yeah, the guy Teddy dropped twice.

482
00:28:40,721 --> 00:28:42,433
- Or was it three times?
- Twice.

483
00:28:42,434 --> 00:28:44,894
Bloody hot, innit?
We should've toured England.

484
00:28:44,895 --> 00:28:47,109
Was that you that passed out
at Fine Leg, Punter?

485
00:28:47,110 --> 00:28:49,435
Look at you guys!

486
00:28:49,436 --> 00:28:51,857
Come on, Anglers, fire up.
We can get these runs.

487
00:28:51,858 --> 00:28:54,529
Small boundaries. Teddy,
you and me, opening the batting.

488
00:28:54,608 --> 00:28:56,485
- Pad up.
- Yep, come on. Big chase.

489
00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:58,616
- It's a big game.
- Me at number three?

490
00:28:58,695 --> 00:29:00,914
No, no, the boys are right.
It's a big game.

491
00:29:00,989 --> 00:29:03,285
Big-game players required.
I bat three, PYT.

492
00:29:03,286 --> 00:29:05,627
But if you want fast runs, big bash,
I'm the man.

493
00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:10,003
- Sorry? Hey? Who's the man?
- You da man, Stav.

494
00:29:24,054 --> 00:29:25,763
0h!

495
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:28,608
Score! Save your legs, son.

496
00:29:35,148 --> 00:29:37,108
Oh-ho-ho!

497
00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:38,110
India!

498
00:29:40,028 --> 00:29:43,077
- Yes, yes, yes!
- Come on!

499
00:29:50,163 --> 00:29:52,123
Bowl again!

500
00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:55,668
- No!
- Come on, Ted. Hit it.

501
00:29:55,669 --> 00:29:58,138
STAV: Long way to 363, Prez.

502
00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:04,051
That's 44 balls without scoring.

503
00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:06,180
Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, wait, wait, wait.

504
00:30:06,181 --> 00:30:08,681
Ted's just broken his own club record.

505
00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:10,808
MAN: Go, Ricky!

506
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:11,851
0h!

507
00:30:11,852 --> 00:30:13,413
Watch and learn, Teddy.
Watch and learn.

508
00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:30,997
Alright, Anglers.
Prepare for a Stav-alanche.

509
00:30:33,832 --> 00:30:35,880
Alright, Teddy, come on. Come on.

510
00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:38,053
Work the singles, Teddy. I'm ready.

511
00:30:38,128 --> 00:30:40,222
Alright, you hand it over to Uncle Stav.

512
00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:42,933
MAN: Let's go, Anglers!

513
00:30:45,218 --> 00:30:47,220
<i>TED: Yes!</i>

514
00:30:47,304 --> 00:30:50,228
- Wait! Wait! No, no, no, no, no!
- Oh, Teddy, no!

515
00:30:50,229 --> 00:30:52,225
- Oh, you...
- Oh, no.

516
00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:56,530
Jesus!

517
00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:01,026
Aarggh!

518
00:31:03,111 --> 00:31:05,988
MAN: Bad luck, Stavvy.

519
00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:08,583
Hell!

520
00:31:10,494 --> 00:31:14,663
J' Band plays Channel Nine cricket theme.

521
00:31:14,664 --> 00:31:16,758
- Sir?
- Go away.

522
00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:28,061
It's the detail of the lining, see,
for the price, it really is...

523
00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:33,480
See, I'm not really an Angler, so here's
my number. You can call me any time.

524
00:31:33,481 --> 00:31:35,944
No, thanks. Any time.

525
00:31:37,521 --> 00:31:39,230
It's... it's...

526
00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:40,983
We're just still not used to

527
00:31:40,984 --> 00:31:43,234
the glancing light
of the Northern Hemisphere,

528
00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:45,074
but we will bounce back, I promise.

529
00:31:45,075 --> 00:31:48,618
You better, or you are going to get
bounced right out of the tournament.

530
00:31:48,619 --> 00:31:50,705
- Here, have one.
- Uh, no, no.

531
00:31:50,706 --> 00:31:53,998
- No, I have Vegemite back at the hotel.
- Actually, you don't.

532
00:31:53,999 --> 00:31:56,623
The Prince and I got the munchies
last night and nailed it.

533
00:31:57,874 --> 00:32:00,593
Oh, have one of these.
These are really good, Teddy.

534
00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:05,927
At some stage, you have to adapt to
the change in conditions, Ted. Go on.

535
00:32:05,928 --> 00:32:08,768
- Come on, Teddles.
- Alright. OK. I will.

536
00:32:08,769 --> 00:32:10,558
Here we go.

537
00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:15,230
- Hmm. It's good.
- How good's that?

538
00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:20,438
Ah, that thing, the head wobble,
is that a yes or a no?

539
00:32:20,439 --> 00:32:23,441
Once you know that, you know India.

540
00:32:23,442 --> 00:32:27,322
Hey!

541
00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:29,155
- Whoa-ho!
- Hey, hey, hey!

542
00:32:29,156 --> 00:32:30,954
Hey?

543
00:32:32,075 --> 00:32:34,294
Don't you ever run me out again, Teddy.

544
00:32:34,295 --> 00:32:36,084
Ho-ho-ho!

545
00:32:45,714 --> 00:32:47,842
<i>TED: Leadership has its challenges.</i>

546
00:32:47,843 --> 00:32:50,720
<i>It's my responsibility
to keep team spirits up,</i>

547
00:32:50,721 --> 00:32:54,474
<i>move on from defeat,
and remain focused on the job at hand.</i>

548
00:32:54,475 --> 00:32:57,808
Chai, chai, chai, chai...

549
00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:00,561
Hey, brother, you don't do coffee,
by any chance?

550
00:33:00,562 --> 00:33:03,031
- ..Chai, chai, chai, chai.
- Skinny latte with one?

551
00:33:03,032 --> 00:33:06,358
No, water. Water for me. Thank you.

552
00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:10,112
- Holy shit!
STAV: It's Sachin's box?!

553
00:33:10,113 --> 00:33:12,832
- You've still got it!
- Don't... Rick. Rick...

554
00:33:12,908 --> 00:33:14,785
- You are a freak!
- Rick, give that...

555
00:33:14,786 --> 00:33:16,494
No, Teddy...

556
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:21,832
Abbotsford Anglers, this is Sachin
Tendulkar's original protector.

557
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:23,542
MAN: Bullshit!

558
00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:26,008
As worn on his first tour of Australia.
When was that?

559
00:33:26,009 --> 00:33:29,383
- Summer '91/92.
- Why have you got his box, Teddy?

560
00:33:29,384 --> 00:33:34,678
We broke into the MCG change rooms,
right, and we were, like, 15, 16.

561
00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:38,227
- I told him to steal a bat, but no...
- You made a trophy out of it?

562
00:33:38,228 --> 00:33:41,820
- Please... Guys...
- Hello, hello. I take to Sachin?

563
00:33:41,821 --> 00:33:44,355
- I know, his brother!
- Hey, hey!

564
00:33:44,356 --> 00:33:47,028
Well, that's great,
'cause he must have been missing it,

565
00:33:47,029 --> 00:33:49,115
you know, freeballing all these years.

566
00:33:49,116 --> 00:33:51,784
I wonder if the Little Master
fits Stav's massive master.

567
00:33:51,785 --> 00:33:56,909
- Give it to me.
- Breathe it in, Teddy. Scent of Sachin.

568
00:33:56,910 --> 00:33:58,702
Get off! ALL: Oh!

569
00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:00,704
What was that noise?

570
00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:02,376
- Nothing.
- Did you just shart?

571
00:34:02,377 --> 00:34:04,126
- No.
- What was that noise?

572
00:34:04,127 --> 00:34:06,046
- Nothing.
- I heard a wet, ripping noise.

573
00:34:06,047 --> 00:34:08,716
- Where are my poo tickets?
- Here. Want me to come with you?

574
00:34:08,717 --> 00:34:10,841
- What? Oh, that's... Oh...
- Do you need this?

575
00:34:10,842 --> 00:34:12,633
Nah. MAN: Teddy Brown!

576
00:34:12,634 --> 00:34:14,602
MAN 2: Teddy... MAN 1: Brown!

577
00:34:18,598 --> 00:34:21,898
<i>I</i> Indian folk music.

578
00:34:54,593 --> 00:34:59,895
Prez, you OK?

579
00:35:03,018 --> 00:35:06,989
You have these mates for 20 years,

580
00:35:07,063 --> 00:35:11,819
and then one day you just look at 'em
and you're like...

581
00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:16,488
'Who are you?'

582
00:35:16,489 --> 00:35:21,837
Mid 30s. Does something curious
to a man, Ted.

583
00:35:22,912 --> 00:35:26,123
First, they get a mortgage
and stop laughing,

584
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:30,800
wear beige shorts, play golf on Sundays,

585
00:35:30,879 --> 00:35:34,131
marry someone good and smart,

586
00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:38,469
name their kids something unusual
like Tarragon,

587
00:35:38,470 --> 00:35:41,388
find themselves
sitting at dinner parties

588
00:35:41,389 --> 00:35:46,020
talking about 'our renovations'
and 'your renovations',

589
00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:50,653
and everything just keeps chugging along
like God's own choo-choo train

590
00:35:50,654 --> 00:35:55,444
until one day,
they end up in the newspaper,

591
00:35:55,445 --> 00:36:01,202
found naked in aisle five of IKEA with
a semiautomatic and a tub of jelly.

592
00:36:02,202 --> 00:36:04,953
TED: It won't stop!

593
00:36:04,954 --> 00:36:07,498
- TED: Aaarrgghhh!
- Teddy?

594
00:36:07,499 --> 00:36:12,002
TED: Stav? Help! I think I'm dying.

595
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:14,472
Uh, well, I'm not sure
what you want me to do, mate.

596
00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:18,142
- Uh, do you want Sachin's box?
TED: No, toilet paper.

597
00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:20,971
TED: Oh, and pants!
- Well, you're not getting my pants.

598
00:36:20,972 --> 00:36:24,268
TED: Aaarrggghhh!
- Are you overreacting, Teddy?

599
00:36:24,269 --> 00:36:26,688
You sound like
you're being raped in there.

600
00:36:26,689 --> 00:36:30,729
- Ooh! Aaah!
TED: It won't stop!

601
00:36:30,730 --> 00:36:33,654
- I just vomited on my own poo.
- Aaah! No.

602
00:36:33,655 --> 00:36:35,734
- Stav!
- No! No! Oh!

603
00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:39,035
- Oh! Ohh! Ohhh!
- Oh, Jesus!

604
00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:43,164
Chai?

605
00:36:52,544 --> 00:36:58,176
PRINCE: Varanasi - the city of Shiva on
the banks of the sacred River Ganges,

606
00:36:58,258 --> 00:37:01,468
one of the holiest places in India.

607
00:37:01,469 --> 00:37:04,473
It's the beating heart
of the Hindu universe,

608
00:37:04,474 --> 00:37:09,194
a crossing place between
the physical and spiritual worlds.

609
00:37:09,269 --> 00:37:13,689
Hindu pilgrims come from all over
to bathe in these waters,

610
00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:18,068
a ritual which washes away all sins.

611
00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:21,739
Varanasi is an auspicious place to die

612
00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:27,244
since expiring here ensures release
from the cycle of rebirths

613
00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:30,340
and an instant passport to heaven.

614
00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:36,630
But what the good people
of Lonely Planet failed to mention

615
00:37:36,631 --> 00:37:40,591
is that Varanasi is also
the finest place in the world

616
00:37:40,592 --> 00:37:43,343
to free your mind.

617
00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:48,140
- Om, shanti. Om.
- Teddy Brown looking shaky.

618
00:37:48,141 --> 00:37:50,309
- Here she is.
- Oh, Prez.

619
00:37:50,310 --> 00:37:53,276
- You look a million rupees.
- Wow, you look sensational.

620
00:37:53,277 --> 00:37:55,524
- You'll be alright to play, Teddy?
- Yeah, yeah.

621
00:37:55,525 --> 00:37:58,993
No, no, no. I'm coming good.
I'll play. I'll play. I'll play.

622
00:37:59,068 --> 00:38:02,321
Big game tomorrow, boys.
Varanasi Toymakers Association.

623
00:38:02,322 --> 00:38:04,118
- Ooh, toy-makers.
- I know.

624
00:38:04,119 --> 00:38:08,621
- Must win. Gotta focus. Got to focus.
PUNTER: Anything we can do?

625
00:38:08,622 --> 00:38:10,964
Yes, uh, training.

626
00:38:11,039 --> 00:38:13,629
- Maybe a net session, if possible.
MAN: What did he say?

627
00:38:13,630 --> 00:38:16,094
Keep up the waters
and don't eat the kebabs.

628
00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:18,634
- Noted.
- Shadow's already had about 16 of them.

629
00:38:18,635 --> 00:38:20,974
- How are your stools holding up, mate?
- Firm as.

630
00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:23,634
- Champagne corks.
- You're joking.

631
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:25,474
- Firm?
- What? No liquid?

632
00:38:25,475 --> 00:38:28,686
- I got that hot green ice-cream-y...
- Mine's like a puree, actually.

633
00:38:28,687 --> 00:38:31,560
Fires out of me like an assault rifle.
It's, like, 'Bah!'

634
00:38:31,561 --> 00:38:33,644
Stop it!

635
00:38:33,645 --> 00:38:38,941
0K, 0K, 0K, guys, 9W5, guys,
as important as all that sounds,

636
00:38:38,942 --> 00:38:42,822
the whites, we need to get 'em washed,
look professional.

637
00:38:42,823 --> 00:38:45,036
You just leave it to me, eh? Or Colin.

638
00:38:45,037 --> 00:38:47,202
Gotta be a drycleaner
around here somewhere.

639
00:38:47,203 --> 00:38:49,294
- Oh, that's not...
- Oh, you alright?

640
00:38:49,369 --> 00:38:52,329
- Oh, that's the good stuff.
- Run, Teddy.

641
00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:55,833
Our president just needs to relax.

642
00:38:55,834 --> 00:39:00,963
What we all need to do is relax,
Varanasi-style.

643
00:39:00,964 --> 00:39:05,970
J' Indian-influenced psychedelia.

644
00:39:32,662 --> 00:39:34,335
Beautiful.

645
00:39:47,969 --> 00:39:51,972
- So have you told Teddy yet?
- What?

646
00:39:51,973 --> 00:39:55,309
- About moving out of the garage.
- Yeah.

647
00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:59,021
Oh, no. I will, before we leave.

648
00:39:59,022 --> 00:40:03,698
I better. Janine's packed up his stuff
and put it on the front lawn.

649
00:40:03,699 --> 00:40:07,237
Whoa! That's real.

650
00:40:07,238 --> 00:40:09,364
Ooh!

651
00:40:09,365 --> 00:40:12,701
MARK: Ted?

652
00:40:12,702 --> 00:40:15,080
Hey, Teddy, I know you're in there, man.

653
00:40:15,081 --> 00:40:17,581
Look, um, can you put me up
the batting order tomorrow?

654
00:40:17,582 --> 00:40:19,380
I need some more time in the middle.

655
00:40:19,459 --> 00:40:22,884
The dude who runs the tournament's
gonna be there with talent scouts.

656
00:40:22,885 --> 00:40:29,012
I could open. That'd be good...
for me... and for the team.

657
00:40:30,970 --> 00:40:33,018
Rick and Stav are just holding us back.

658
00:41:01,417 --> 00:41:06,014
RICK: Hey!
STAV: Feel my pain, Ravi!

659
00:41:07,340 --> 00:41:09,341
Shot, Stavros! Four bits.

660
00:41:09,342 --> 00:41:13,261
Pardon?

661
00:41:13,262 --> 00:41:16,106
It's only two runs
if you get it in the river.

662
00:41:16,107 --> 00:41:20,268
Anjali!
What are you doing here?

663
00:41:20,269 --> 00:41:23,772
Dad's here,
and I've always wanted to see Varanasi.

664
00:41:23,773 --> 00:41:26,743
It's a long way from
the banks of the Yarra, huh?

665
00:41:26,818 --> 00:41:29,069
You took a shot, Ravi!

666
00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:33,073
- Oh!
- Oh, shot, Stavosaurus!

667
00:41:33,074 --> 00:41:34,792
Stavishnu, the God of Cricket!

668
00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:38,713
- You still love it, don't you?
- What?

669
00:41:38,714 --> 00:41:41,748
The cricket. The game and the boys...

670
00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:46,378
- Oh, that's massive!
- Yeah, it's the best.

671
00:41:46,379 --> 00:41:48,723
- The best?
- Mm-hm.

672
00:41:48,798 --> 00:41:50,926
Oh, unless you play,
you wouldn't understand.

673
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:53,228
STAV: What've you got, Ravi?
What've you got?

674
00:41:53,229 --> 00:41:54,892
<i>~</i> om _ ooh!

675
00:41:56,055 --> 00:41:57,931
I guess you're right.

676
00:41:57,932 --> 00:42:00,435
Smokin' hot and a handy cricketer.

677
00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:02,486
Lovely to see you again, Anjali.

678
00:42:02,487 --> 00:42:05,230
- I believe you're up.
- I don't bat.

679
00:42:05,231 --> 00:42:09,154
But Teddy here's a little master.
He'll have a go. Won't you?

680
00:42:09,155 --> 00:42:12,281
Have you come all this way
to chat up our president?

681
00:42:12,282 --> 00:42:13,989
- Stav...
- No.

682
00:42:13,990 --> 00:42:16,912
Dad's organised a dinner at the Taj
and I've come to invite him.

683
00:42:16,913 --> 00:42:19,124
- The Taj?
- Classy. I have just the suit.

684
00:42:19,125 --> 00:42:21,667
- Not you. Just the president.
- Hmm.

685
00:42:21,668 --> 00:42:23,585
And Shri Subhash will be there.

686
00:42:23,586 --> 00:42:26,086
Ah, the big wig with the big wig.
It's all yours, Teddy.

687
00:42:26,169 --> 00:42:27,878
So Taj Palace Hotel, 8pm,

688
00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:32,885
and the big wig is gunning
for the Anglers, so look sharp.

689
00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:36,053
- Bye.
- Bye, Anjali.

690
00:42:36,054 --> 00:42:38,022
Brother...

691
00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:43,018
I think someone wants to oil your bat,
Theodore.

692
00:42:43,019 --> 00:42:44,770
No, no, she's here to help her dad.

693
00:42:44,771 --> 00:42:47,568
Mate, a girl like that
does not travel halfway across India

694
00:42:47,569 --> 00:42:49,283
just to be with her daddy.

695
00:42:49,284 --> 00:42:51,818
- Pad up and have a crack.
- Really?

696
00:42:51,819 --> 00:42:55,536
- Oh, you're just...
- No, I should ask Sanjeet first.

697
00:42:55,537 --> 00:42:58,909
- Mate, it's not a high-school formal.
- That's the way they do it in India.

698
00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:01,707
I need a yoghurt-based beverage
like I'll never love again.

699
00:43:01,708 --> 00:43:03,418
- Who's with me?
- Brother.

700
00:43:03,419 --> 00:43:06,588
Actually, is yoghurt good
for an upset stomach?

701
00:43:06,589 --> 00:43:09,428
- Is it?
STAV AND RICK: Bang on.

702
00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:22,557
You know, it tastes like
freshly cut grass smells.

703
00:43:22,558 --> 00:43:24,518
Organic.

704
00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:27,489
I've gotta go and speak to
Sanjeet and Subhash

705
00:43:27,490 --> 00:43:30,899
about his hallowed turf in Bombay...
Mumbai.

706
00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:33,699
- Anyway, is it Bombay or Mumbai?
- Relax.

707
00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:37,614
- So, mate...
- I think it's Bumbai. Is it Bum...

708
00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:41,040
Teddy? Ted, would you be
the best man at my wedding?

709
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:43,829
It is Bumbai.

710
00:43:43,830 --> 00:43:46,502
Raf wants to have it
at her place in Barbados.

711
00:43:46,503 --> 00:43:50,174
I'd really like it if you and Stav could
be there with us. Internationals.

712
00:43:50,175 --> 00:43:52,963
We're thinking about moving there.

713
00:43:52,964 --> 00:43:58,061
You know, living on the beach, bringing
up a kid, no TV, just catching fish...

714
00:44:01,389 --> 00:44:03,983
- Yeah, you can't do that.
- What?

715
00:44:04,058 --> 00:44:09,229
That. There. You're the captain
of the Abbotsford Anglers.

716
00:44:09,230 --> 00:44:12,277
I'm talking about getting married
and having a baby, Ted.

717
00:44:12,278 --> 00:44:14,822
How about 'congratulations, mate'
or 'good luck'?

718
00:44:14,823 --> 00:44:17,034
I'm talking about a 20-year history

719
00:44:17,035 --> 00:44:19,450
with three premierships
and Saturday afternoons.

720
00:44:19,451 --> 00:44:22,418
We're a park cricket team, Ted.
We're 35...

721
00:44:22,419 --> 00:44:26,163
Sachin's 40.
He still plays, nothing changes.

722
00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:27,632
I don't get it.

723
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,420
You only get one innings in life.

724
00:44:33,421 --> 00:44:39,269
- I just want it to be like it was.
- It can't be how it was.

725
00:44:40,469 --> 00:44:43,894
And you can't be living
in Stav's garage anymore.

726
00:44:45,141 --> 00:44:47,642
<i>STA V: Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, hey?</i>

727
00:44:47,643 --> 00:44:49,361
He was supposed to tell you...

728
00:44:54,817 --> 00:44:56,568
It's time to grow up, Ted.

729
00:44:56,569 --> 00:44:58,822
PRINCE: Teddy Brown on the Bhang Lassis!

730
00:44:58,823 --> 00:45:02,532
Now, that is a train
we should all get on board.

731
00:45:02,533 --> 00:45:05,207
Can we have another round of 'specials',
thanks, Guv'nor?

732
00:45:06,579 --> 00:45:09,795
- What's in these drinks?
- It's no big deal, mate.

733
00:45:09,796 --> 00:45:11,836
- It's just a bit of weed.
- Oh, Ricky...

734
00:45:11,837 --> 00:45:14,883
We're just trying to loosen you up,
Sachin, play some shots.

735
00:45:14,884 --> 00:45:16,597
Rick...

736
00:45:19,258 --> 00:45:22,933
Doesn't anybody care that
we are playing for Australia tomorrow?

737
00:45:28,309 --> 00:45:32,485
Come on, Teddy! Teddy, come back!

738
00:45:59,131 --> 00:46:02,135
<i>I</i> Indian-influenced rock music.

739
00:47:13,914 --> 00:47:17,214
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

740
00:47:18,627 --> 00:47:21,838
You look like
an art installation, bro.

741
00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:25,884
- Are you in the right place?
- Happy Holi.

742
00:47:25,885 --> 00:47:28,308
Ted Brown, Abbotsford Anglers
Cricket Club on tour.

743
00:47:28,387 --> 00:47:31,015
Hey, we have a cricketer.

744
00:47:31,098 --> 00:47:33,391
He looks more like a dancer.

745
00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:36,316
You know, in fact, can you do us a show?

746
00:47:40,858 --> 00:47:43,323
Now, the poodle.
There's the poodle's friend.

747
00:47:43,324 --> 00:47:46,742
- Now they want their lawn mowed.
- The lawnmower! I like it!

748
00:47:46,743 --> 00:47:48,490
- Ted?
- Oh, Anjali! Am I late?

749
00:47:48,491 --> 00:47:51,620
- Am I late? I'm late!
- Do you know who that is?

750
00:47:51,621 --> 00:47:54,412
Tusshar Rai. He's a movie star.

751
00:47:54,413 --> 00:47:56,632
- 'Kiss & Tell' Tusshar Rai?
- Yes, yes, yes!

752
00:47:56,633 --> 00:48:00,418
You're the dude from telly.
The Bollywood Fonzie.

753
00:48:00,419 --> 00:48:02,379
Eehhhh!

754
00:48:02,380 --> 00:48:04,631
MAN: You're funny, yeah?

755
00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:08,724
And you look too smart to be
hanging out with Mr Bojangles here.

756
00:48:08,725 --> 00:48:11,015
- What's your name?
- Anjali, actually.

757
00:48:11,016 --> 00:48:13,603
And she is smart, she's grown-up,
she's got two degrees

758
00:48:13,604 --> 00:48:16,398
and she can play cricket too,
which I didn't know until today -

759
00:48:16,477 --> 00:48:18,273
well done on that -
and do you know what?

760
00:48:18,274 --> 00:48:20,819
- What?
- She's hanging with me. Yeah.

761
00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:22,775
- You are out of your mind.
- I know!

762
00:48:22,858 --> 00:48:25,110
It was really lovely to meet you,
but we have to go.

763
00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:27,785
Do you think your dad would mind
if we just danced a little?

764
00:48:27,786 --> 00:48:33,493
Dance with her, Mr Bojangles, because
if you don't, somebody else will.

765
00:48:33,494 --> 00:48:35,713
Eehhhh!

766
00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:40,458
Ted got caught up
in the Holi festivities.

767
00:48:40,459 --> 00:48:46,341
Yes. Looks like he took my suggestion
to embrace Indian culture.

768
00:48:47,591 --> 00:48:51,095
- You like India?
- Um, it's full-on.

769
00:48:51,178 --> 00:48:55,932
It is full-on, but the food
takes a little getting used to.

770
00:48:55,933 --> 00:48:59,733
You know, I got the squirts on the train
and it was pretty wrong.

771
00:48:59,734 --> 00:49:00,770
Ted...

772
00:49:00,771 --> 00:49:04,241
It sort of came out like a green curry.
Do you have Mr Whippy here?

773
00:49:04,242 --> 00:49:07,152
- Ted, don't talk about that...
- Hmm?

774
00:49:07,153 --> 00:49:08,862
This is madness.

775
00:49:08,863 --> 00:49:11,491
But there is something special
about this place.

776
00:49:11,492 --> 00:49:15,211
You know, it's the people.
They are beautiful.

777
00:49:19,290 --> 00:49:22,212
Actually, Sanjeet,
I do have something to ask you,

778
00:49:22,213 --> 00:49:24,052
and it's about your beautiful daughter.

779
00:49:24,128 --> 00:49:27,473
Stop right there!
Remember why you are here!

780
00:49:27,548 --> 00:49:30,800
A cricket tournament! And look at you!

781
00:49:30,801 --> 00:49:32,719
An embarrassment.

782
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:34,762
I can't believe, Sanjeet,

783
00:49:34,763 --> 00:49:40,602
you really thought this childish fool
could win you a cup, a trophy?

784
00:49:40,603 --> 00:49:43,188
Ha! Disgusting.

785
00:49:43,189 --> 00:49:47,365
- Subhash...
TED: Sanjeet... Sanj, Sanj...

786
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:51,112
Did I just lose your face?

787
00:49:51,113 --> 00:49:53,332
I have a question for you, Ted.

788
00:49:53,407 --> 00:49:57,118
The Anglers,
they aren't really A-grade, are they?

789
00:49:57,119 --> 00:50:00,669
Oh, no, we're just below C...
We're a D-grade team.

790
00:50:00,748 --> 00:50:03,672
I thought as much. Come, Anjali.

791
00:50:05,377 --> 00:50:08,722
Anj... Anj! Anj!

792
00:50:25,898 --> 00:50:27,774
We gonna bat or bowl first tomorrow,
Ted?

793
00:50:27,775 --> 00:50:30,403
Jesus, Col,
you scared the shit out of me.

794
00:50:30,404 --> 00:50:33,497
I was just looking back through
the stats and I think we should bowl.

795
00:50:33,498 --> 00:50:39,212
Can we just... not talk about cricket
for one second, please?

796
00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:46,010
Do you know if the whites came back
from the cleaners?

797
00:50:46,011 --> 00:50:47,674
Colin!

798
00:50:54,510 --> 00:50:58,721
No! Just something is not right.

799
00:50:58,722 --> 00:51:00,724
They might've been blessed
in a holy river,

800
00:51:00,808 --> 00:51:02,435
but these whites have come back pink.

801
00:51:02,518 --> 00:51:06,521
- Shit, shit, shit, shit!
- Yours not right either?

802
00:51:06,522 --> 00:51:10,743
- Have you been messing with my kit?
- I would never touch your kit.

803
00:51:14,488 --> 00:51:18,538
<i>TED: Discipline</i> - <i>it's what holds
any team together.</i>

804
00:51:18,617 --> 00:51:20,711
<i>Without it,</i> a <i>leader has no authority</i>

805
00:51:20,712 --> 00:51:24,879
<i>and</i> a <i>great team is little more
than a rudderless ship.</i>

806
00:51:26,917 --> 00:51:28,544
PRINCE AND RICK: Whoa!

807
00:51:28,627 --> 00:51:30,254
RICK: Unnecessary.

808
00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:33,887
Oh, Teddy!

809
00:51:35,467 --> 00:51:39,722
The Little Master has blessed us
a joint on this auspicious occasion.

810
00:51:45,769 --> 00:51:48,938
- I should've picked this.
- What?

811
00:51:48,939 --> 00:51:53,194
I try to hold it all together,
make this team work for all of us

812
00:51:53,195 --> 00:51:55,570
and you treat it like a bloody joke.

813
00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:58,825
It's a joint, mate. Chillax, mate.

814
00:51:58,907 --> 00:52:01,751
We're gonna be at the game.
We'll play the game.

815
00:52:01,827 --> 00:52:05,163
No, don't come to the game.
You're suspended.

816
00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:07,379
- You're off the team indefinitely.
- Hang on.

817
00:52:07,380 --> 00:52:09,092
- Rick! Give it to me!
- Hang on...

818
00:52:09,093 --> 00:52:12,008
Oh, fuck. Look, you broke it.

819
00:52:12,087 --> 00:52:13,805
Well done.

820
00:52:17,551 --> 00:52:19,260
You're suspended...

821
00:52:19,261 --> 00:52:21,514
You're suspended too,
for breaking the Hector.

822
00:52:23,557 --> 00:52:25,308
Hector suspension.

823
00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:29,655
Hey, uh, good luck
to that kid of yours too.

824
00:52:31,023 --> 00:52:32,732
He's gonna need it.

825
00:52:32,733 --> 00:52:38,206
J' Indian-influenced psychedelia.

826
00:52:53,671 --> 00:52:57,382
Teddy! Teddy, how'd you go?
Did you score?

827
00:52:57,383 --> 00:53:00,227
- Don't even ask.
- Hey? How was dinner?

828
00:53:13,148 --> 00:53:16,651
Teddy goes to Bollywood.

829
00:53:16,652 --> 00:53:18,370
I knew I should have been there.

830
00:53:18,371 --> 00:53:22,583
Sanjeet was not impressed,
and the big wig wants to kill me.

831
00:53:22,658 --> 00:53:24,659
We have to win today.

832
00:53:24,660 --> 00:53:27,664
Well, suspending Ricky may not have been
the smartest move, then.

833
00:53:27,665 --> 00:53:30,633
He doesn't give a shit about the game.
I should have sent him home.

834
00:53:30,708 --> 00:53:32,802
That's a bit extreme.
Now we're one man short.

835
00:53:32,876 --> 00:53:36,921
I'm extreme.
Well, maybe I should go home, then.

836
00:53:36,922 --> 00:53:40,301
- Hey?
- Back to the garage?

837
00:53:45,681 --> 00:53:47,399
So who's captain?

838
00:53:53,313 --> 00:53:55,653
I wanna call heads. Which side is heads?

839
00:53:55,654 --> 00:53:58,072
- Deer is head.
- Deer? I call deer.

840
00:53:58,073 --> 00:54:00,403
- Deer head.
- Deer.

841
00:54:00,404 --> 00:54:02,488
- Head.
- Is that a deer?

842
00:54:02,489 --> 00:54:05,288
Yes! We're gonna bowl.
You're going down.

843
00:54:05,367 --> 00:54:07,961
- Stavy...
- Come on, Anglers!

844
00:54:08,036 --> 00:54:10,037
Bring it in. We're gonna
have a bowl, yeah?

845
00:54:10,038 --> 00:54:13,004
This is much more our style -
small ground, bouncy wicket

846
00:54:13,005 --> 00:54:15,215
and an opposition in weirder outfits
than us, OK?

847
00:54:15,216 --> 00:54:17,506
In the absence of the Angler formerly
known as Rick,

848
00:54:17,507 --> 00:54:19,343
Teddy, you are keeping today, my friend.

849
00:54:19,344 --> 00:54:20,803
They are not regulation whites.

850
00:54:20,804 --> 00:54:22,300
One of their players has no shoes.

851
00:54:22,301 --> 00:54:25,724
That's all perfect, mate. Let's crush
some toes and head to Mumbai winners.

852
00:54:25,725 --> 00:54:28,224
- You right, Anglers?
- Let's go, Anglers! Come on!

853
00:54:28,225 --> 00:54:30,021
Going-down toy boys!

854
00:54:38,317 --> 00:54:40,319
MAN: Go, stavy!

855
00:54:47,159 --> 00:54:48,706
MAN 2: Come on, Anglers!

856
00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:56,213
TED: Lovely nuts!

857
00:54:57,252 --> 00:54:58,879
- Catch it!
- Mine!

858
00:55:01,507 --> 00:55:04,056
MAN: Stav!
MAN 2: Keeper, keeper!

859
00:55:06,678 --> 00:55:09,557
Punter, two more from that end.
Shads, you bring it up from here.

860
00:55:11,517 --> 00:55:14,066
MAN: Catch it, catch it!
- Mine! Oh!

861
00:55:15,854 --> 00:55:17,276
STAV: Lightning, Shadow!

862
00:55:17,277 --> 00:55:19,616
MAN: Get there!

863
00:55:23,612 --> 00:55:25,114
SEVERAL: Catch him!

864
00:55:27,157 --> 00:55:28,909
MAN: Good enough, Gobbs! Good enough!

865
00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:43,548
MAN: Anglers!

866
00:55:43,549 --> 00:55:47,093
TED: This is good. Come on, boys.
We can win this.

867
00:55:47,094 --> 00:55:49,062
GOBBA: Well bowled, boys.
Anglers on top!

868
00:55:49,137 --> 00:55:51,934
PUNTER: Time to bet big, fellas.
We are hot favourites today.

869
00:55:51,935 --> 00:55:54,060
A hot captain has a lot to do with that
Punter.

870
00:55:54,061 --> 00:55:56,230
Two words - leadership qualities.

871
00:55:56,231 --> 00:55:57,730
Alright, here's the scoop.

872
00:55:57,731 --> 00:55:59,900
Gobba, Punter, pad up. You're opening.

873
00:55:59,901 --> 00:56:02,617
I'm a three, of course.
Teddy, rock-solid at four.

874
00:56:02,618 --> 00:56:05,862
Shads, five. Hangarz, Brett and Prince.

875
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:08,241
Let me open. I can make
that total off my own bat.

876
00:56:08,242 --> 00:56:10,992
Anyone who's not a real Abbotsford
Angler can bat at number 11.

877
00:56:10,993 --> 00:56:13,371
MAN: Stav...
- There's only ten of us, Stavros.

878
00:56:13,372 --> 00:56:15,666
- Ricky's not playing.
- Congratulations, Marky.

879
00:56:15,667 --> 00:56:18,042
- You've been promoted to number ten.
- This is bullshit!

880
00:56:18,043 --> 00:56:20,920
I didn't come to India to get
jerked around by a bunch of dickheads!

881
00:56:20,921 --> 00:56:23,217
There is no 'I' in
'Abbotsford Anglers', yeah?

882
00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:25,425
Yeah?

883
00:56:28,218 --> 00:56:29,719
Come on!

884
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:32,690
We are all one, brothers -
separation is the illusion.

885
00:56:32,691 --> 00:56:38,227
Let me go! You dinosaurs don't know how
to win. The game has passed you by.

886
00:56:38,228 --> 00:56:40,938
Relax, TeddY!

887
00:56:40,939 --> 00:56:43,360
I'm fine. We can chase
this score down easily,

888
00:56:43,361 --> 00:56:44,905
with or without Justin Beebop.

889
00:56:51,783 --> 00:56:54,368
MAN: Let's go, Punter!

890
00:56:54,369 --> 00:56:55,962
Head down, Punter!

891
00:57:04,421 --> 00:57:06,264
If you want a job done right...

892
00:57:20,812 --> 00:57:22,689
Oh, fuck me!

893
00:57:24,191 --> 00:57:26,569
MAN: Catch it! CROWD: Ooh!

894
00:57:28,904 --> 00:57:30,998
0h!

895
00:57:33,116 --> 00:57:34,993
- No, no, no, no, no!
SOME: Argh!

896
00:57:35,077 --> 00:57:38,081
Alright, Colin, just steady, mate.
We've still got this.

897
00:57:38,082 --> 00:57:40,501
Don't panic - let Teddy just
grind it out, alright?

898
00:57:40,502 --> 00:57:42,092
- Nothing stupid.
- Alright.

899
00:57:42,167 --> 00:57:45,878
- Jesus, Colin.
- Every ball on its merits, Colin!

900
00:57:45,879 --> 00:57:47,802
Every ball on its merits!

901
00:57:50,634 --> 00:57:52,468
SEVERAL: Howzat?!

902
00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:55,018
I didn't touch it! I didn't touch it!

903
00:57:55,019 --> 00:57:56,731
But I didn't touch it!

904
00:58:01,687 --> 00:58:03,234
MAN: Let's go, Anglers!

905
00:58:03,235 --> 00:58:05,439
You're an Angler, brother!

906
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:08,401
Only three runs. That's all we need.

907
00:58:08,402 --> 00:58:11,372
Just nothing rash. Just take it easy.

908
00:58:11,446 --> 00:58:13,948
This is just how I planned it,
Marky Mark.

909
00:58:13,949 --> 00:58:16,168
Setting you up to be the hero, brother!

910
00:58:16,169 --> 00:58:18,411
Let's go, my brother!

911
00:58:18,412 --> 00:58:21,382
MAN: Finish him off!
MAN 2: Back him up, Teddy!

912
00:58:21,383 --> 00:58:23,582
STAVROS: We're a team, boys!

913
00:58:23,583 --> 00:58:25,426
Easy, bOY-

914
00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:34,051
Oh, Mark!

915
00:58:34,052 --> 00:58:36,262
MAN: What are you doing?!

916
00:58:36,263 --> 00:58:38,347
TED: Mark!

917
00:58:38,348 --> 00:58:40,808
He's thrown the game!

918
00:58:40,809 --> 00:58:42,777
Argh!

919
00:58:45,564 --> 00:58:48,943
Now we win, huh?
Because you have only ten players.

920
00:58:53,447 --> 00:58:56,198
Just hang... Just hang on a sec.

921
00:58:56,199 --> 00:58:59,410
Just three runs. I'll do the hitting.

922
00:58:59,411 --> 00:59:02,627
- I can't.
- You don't even have to face a ball.

923
00:59:02,628 --> 00:59:04,837
Just stand at the other end,
holding a bat.

924
00:59:04,838 --> 00:59:07,548
- I haven't played for 20 years.
- You never lose it.

925
00:59:07,549 --> 00:59:09,091
Cricket, it's in your blood.

926
00:59:16,928 --> 00:59:18,971
If we lose, we're out.

927
00:59:18,972 --> 00:59:20,724
Finished.

928
00:59:20,807 --> 00:59:24,562
But if we beat these guys,
we're into the finals in Bombay.

929
00:59:24,563 --> 00:59:27,155
For you. For us.

930
00:59:29,900 --> 00:59:32,824
And it would really piss Subhash off,
no?

931
00:59:35,197 --> 00:59:36,949
Just three runs.

932
00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:44,288
MAN: Go, boys!

933
00:59:44,289 --> 00:59:47,714
MAN 2: Just three runs! Bring him on!

934
01:00:02,349 --> 01:00:04,568
Run!

935
01:00:10,941 --> 01:00:13,444
Just the one! Just the one!

936
01:00:14,569 --> 01:00:17,493
One more!

937
01:00:31,461 --> 01:00:34,340
Argh, fff...!

938
01:01:01,950 --> 01:01:03,492
Hello.

939
01:01:03,493 --> 01:01:05,962
Mr Thambuswamy has had an infarction.

940
01:01:06,037 --> 01:01:07,872
An infection?

941
01:01:07,873 --> 01:01:09,375
No, an infarct.

942
01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:11,672
What, like, he's totally 'farked'?

943
01:01:11,673 --> 01:01:14,262
Not totally.
A small infarction of the heart.

944
01:01:14,263 --> 01:01:16,052
Oh, Jesus.

945
01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:20,301
It's the formation of an infarct.

946
01:01:20,302 --> 01:01:24,138
The artery may be blocked
by an embolus, thrombus

947
01:01:24,139 --> 01:01:25,890
or arteriosclerotic plaque.

948
01:01:25,891 --> 01:01:29,018
He can surely be fine,

949
01:01:29,019 --> 01:01:32,444
as long as he doesn't
take up Twenty20, yeah?

950
01:01:35,483 --> 01:01:38,280
Well, you sacked Ricky,
we're out of the tournament

951
01:01:38,281 --> 01:01:40,279
and you've given
the old man a heart attack.

952
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:42,952
All the best getting into
his daughter's pants now.

953
01:01:42,953 --> 01:01:44,663
- Are you...
- Stav needs a drink.

954
01:01:44,664 --> 01:01:46,627
If you need him, he'll be at the Taj.

955
01:01:46,628 --> 01:01:48,829
Gentlemen, it's been deep.

956
01:01:48,830 --> 01:01:50,832
Ted, you right?

957
01:01:52,083 --> 01:01:53,630
MAN: See you, Teddy.

958
01:01:55,921 --> 01:01:57,639
What were you thinking?

959
01:01:59,883 --> 01:02:02,009
We only needed two runs.

960
01:02:02,010 --> 01:02:05,137
It's a game. He's an old man.

961
01:02:05,138 --> 01:02:06,931
Easy on the 'old'.

962
01:02:06,932 --> 01:02:11,274
It was so close. If Rick had been there,
it would've been different.

963
01:02:11,275 --> 01:02:13,567
- Yes.
- Is that all you care about then?

964
01:02:13,568 --> 01:02:16,357
- Winning?
- No...

965
01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:18,201
- Yes!
- Yeah.

966
01:02:18,276 --> 01:02:19,818
Yeah.

967
01:02:19,819 --> 01:02:23,824
- I made a promise...
- It's OK, Ted. It's OK. I understand.

968
01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:26,410
He's just trying his best
for something he believes in.

969
01:02:26,411 --> 01:02:29,832
What does he believe in?
I'll tell you what he believes in.

970
01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:32,252
He believes that men
can be little boys forever.

971
01:02:32,253 --> 01:02:34,041
Playing games.

972
01:02:34,042 --> 01:02:35,669
Isn't that right?

973
01:02:41,633 --> 01:02:43,681
I think you should go now, Ted.

974
01:02:45,387 --> 01:02:46,934
Yeah.

975
01:02:51,309 --> 01:02:53,277
You...

976
01:04:01,379 --> 01:04:03,131
<i>HEY-</i>

977
01:04:05,258 --> 01:04:06,976
Hey, mate.

978
01:04:10,889 --> 01:04:12,639
I'm sorry.

979
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:14,808
About the box.

980
01:04:14,809 --> 01:04:17,107
And the yoghurt drink.

981
01:04:18,229 --> 01:04:19,697
And the tour.

982
01:04:20,774 --> 01:04:22,321
There's no excuses.

983
01:04:26,071 --> 01:04:27,994
Things are changing, man...

984
01:04:29,157 --> 01:04:32,957
so fast that I'm scared too.
I'm so scared.

985
01:04:34,454 --> 01:04:36,877
<i>MAN: Gentlemen!</i>

986
01:04:40,668 --> 01:04:42,762
Where have you been, man?

987
01:04:42,837 --> 01:04:44,339
Be-bop!

988
01:04:45,882 --> 01:04:49,348
I have been at the Taj, brother,
with Teddy's Bollywood mates.

989
01:04:49,349 --> 01:04:51,517
They speak very highly
of your dancing, Teddy.

990
01:04:51,596 --> 01:04:53,974
They said we should just turn up
to the finals anyway.

991
01:04:54,057 --> 01:04:57,643
- Stav...
- Anything can happen in Bollywood!

992
01:04:57,644 --> 01:05:00,521
Sachin's home turf! Whee-hee!

993
01:05:00,522 --> 01:05:02,024
- Come on.
- Teddy?

994
01:05:02,107 --> 01:05:04,650
Let's give Sachin back his box, eh?

995
01:05:04,651 --> 01:05:07,655
- How's that sound?
- No. It's stumps.

996
01:05:07,737 --> 01:05:09,990
- What?
- See you later, Anglers. It's over.

997
01:05:09,991 --> 01:05:12,993
- <i>Mate, it's not all over.</i>
- <i>We've got</i> a <i>buck's party to go to!</i>

998
01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:14,623
- Whoo!
- Bollywood, baby!

999
01:05:14,624 --> 01:05:17,079
Do you guys not get it? It's over!

1000
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:20,505
If you don't wanna play cricket
anymore, fine. You got what you wanted.

1001
01:05:20,506 --> 01:05:24,378
Have a look at you.
Go and party some more, Stav.

1002
01:05:24,379 --> 01:05:27,804
Go to Bollywood. You go
and smoke crack out of the box

1003
01:05:27,805 --> 01:05:30,717
or give it to the next bloke
who tells me

1004
01:05:30,718 --> 01:05:33,437
he's Sachin Tendulkar's long-lost
frickin' brother!

1005
01:05:33,438 --> 01:05:35,603
I am... I'm done!

1006
01:06:03,418 --> 01:06:05,420
MAN: Ted.

1007
01:06:06,379 --> 01:06:08,427
I'll be leaving the tour in Mumbai.

1008
01:06:08,506 --> 01:06:10,549
I got a gig on another team.

1009
01:06:10,550 --> 01:06:13,679
They think I can do really well here.
IPL, even.

1010
01:06:16,306 --> 01:06:18,650
Anyway...

1011
01:06:29,277 --> 01:06:32,121
STAV: Yeah, that'd be great, mate,
and a big banner.

1012
01:06:32,197 --> 01:06:35,788
Like something... Yeah, Rick's.
No, not with an 'X'.

1013
01:06:35,789 --> 01:06:38,624
Excellent, and you make it here
in your store?

1014
01:06:38,625 --> 01:06:41,041
- Yeah, yeah.
- And you can do gold stripes on blue?

1015
01:06:41,042 --> 01:06:43,588
- Yeah, gold stripe, yeah.
- You can do it by tonight?

1016
01:06:43,589 --> 01:06:45,918
- We need 11.
- Definitely, sir.

1017
01:06:45,919 --> 01:06:49,217
Mumbai's 24/7, mate.
Anything you want, you can get.

1018
01:06:49,218 --> 01:06:50,682
- Anything?
- Anything.

1019
01:06:50,757 --> 01:06:53,351
You hear that, Stav? Anything we want.

1020
01:06:53,426 --> 01:06:54,973
We're on, and they've got a team.

1021
01:06:55,929 --> 01:06:58,398
Yeah!

1022
01:06:59,516 --> 01:07:02,144
Hello, sir. Hello, sir.
You like this one?

1023
01:07:02,145 --> 01:07:05,521
You like this one?
100 rupees only, sir.

1024
01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:09,197
- For wife, your children?
- We don't want it. Go away.

1025
01:07:09,198 --> 01:07:11,069
Go away!

1026
01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:16,782
Is a buck's party an official function?

1027
01:07:16,783 --> 01:07:20,118
We should probably wear our uniforms.

1028
01:07:20,119 --> 01:07:22,793
Will Sanjeet be there?

1029
01:07:24,290 --> 01:07:26,208
Lucky you didn't kill him.

1030
01:07:26,209 --> 01:07:29,127
That'd be a new one for the scorebook.

1031
01:07:29,128 --> 01:07:30,971
'Dead before wicket.'

1032
01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:34,384
That's funny!

1033
01:07:34,467 --> 01:07:35,969
Well, now.

1034
01:07:39,264 --> 01:07:40,811
You'll be alright, Teddy.

1035
01:07:42,809 --> 01:07:45,733
We'll get some new players
when we get back home.

1036
01:07:45,734 --> 01:07:48,277
Start all over again.

1037
01:07:53,570 --> 01:07:55,743
MAN: No entry without today ticket.

1038
01:07:55,744 --> 01:07:58,407
The counter is in there, isn't it?

1039
01:07:58,408 --> 01:08:01,910
So how can I change my ticket
if I'm out here?

1040
01:08:01,911 --> 01:08:04,039
No entry without today ticket.

1041
01:08:05,290 --> 01:08:09,007
There, check my bag. See?
Gloves and pads and all sorts...?

1042
01:08:09,008 --> 01:08:11,846
- Australian cricketer?
- That's right, I am.

1043
01:08:11,847 --> 01:08:14,887
- Ah, Ricky Ponting?
- I am Ricky Ponting!

1044
01:08:14,966 --> 01:08:17,259
- Have that.
- Oh!

1045
01:08:17,260 --> 01:08:19,052
Can I go now?

1046
01:08:19,053 --> 01:08:21,351
Thank you.

1047
01:08:27,687 --> 01:08:30,907
<i>MAN, ON TV: He's done it!</i>

1048
01:08:34,152 --> 01:08:37,118
<i>WOMAN, ON TV: The cricket world
is buzzing today</i>

1049
01:08:37,119 --> 01:08:38,784
<i>with rumours that Sachin Tendulkar</i>

1050
01:08:38,785 --> 01:08:41,997
<i>is about to announce his retirement
from international cricket.</i>

1051
01:08:41,998 --> 01:08:44,620
<i>Known the world over
as 'The Little Master',</i>

1052
01:08:44,621 --> 01:08:47,499
<i>Tendulkar has spent more
than 20 years at the top,</i>

1053
01:08:47,500 --> 01:08:50,250
<i>the most decorated
and dedicated player in history.</i>

1054
01:08:50,251 --> 01:08:54,381
<i>Sources close to him have revealed
he has played his last game for India</i>

1055
01:08:54,382 --> 01:08:56,845
<i>and he is about to make</i>
a <i>statement to the press.</i>

1056
01:08:56,846 --> 01:08:59,681
<i>It is believed that
while he will miss the game he loves,</i>

1057
01:08:59,682 --> 01:09:02,476
<i>it's time to focus on his friends
and growing family.</i>

1058
01:09:02,477 --> 01:09:07,309
<i>SACHIN: Now, my life
has started, actually.</i>

1059
01:09:07,310 --> 01:09:10,314
<i>You can wake up in the morning
and complain to God</i>

1060
01:09:10,315 --> 01:09:11,902
<i>for things you wish you had.</i>

1061
01:09:11,903 --> 01:09:13,899
<i>That way, you'll never be happy.</i>

1062
01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:18,326
<i>Or you can wake up in the morning
and thank God for what you do have -</i>

1063
01:09:18,327 --> 01:09:22,157
<i>your friends, your family,
your loved ones.</i>

1064
01:09:22,158 --> 01:09:24,868
<i>This is the way to happiness.</i>

1065
01:09:24,869 --> 01:09:30,592
<i>If you rejoice in the way things are,
the world belongs to you.</i>

1066
01:09:53,189 --> 01:09:55,148
<i>TED: Sometimes, as</i> a <i>leader,</i>

1067
01:09:55,149 --> 01:09:58,619
<i>you've got to be man enough to recognise
when your game plan isn't working.</i>

1068
01:09:58,620 --> 01:10:02,957
<i>And that's time for reinvention
and a whole new approach.</i>

1069
01:10:05,410 --> 01:10:08,835
Mate, sorry. Can we just stop?
Just here.

1070
01:10:20,258 --> 01:10:22,226
Go, Bretty! Go, Bretty!

1071
01:10:29,016 --> 01:10:30,642
Looking sharp, Ricky!

1072
01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:32,227
Ah!

1073
01:10:32,228 --> 01:10:34,521
Uniforms open doors.

1074
01:10:34,522 --> 01:10:37,190
Ah! Hug it out.

1075
01:10:37,191 --> 01:10:39,568
Hug it out.

1076
01:10:39,569 --> 01:10:41,319
Hey, nice pa PW!

1077
01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:44,790
It's a party now. Thought you
weren't coming for a second.

1078
01:10:47,493 --> 01:10:51,623
Oh, mate! I love it. What is it?

1079
01:10:51,706 --> 01:10:53,549
It's not for you, it's for the baby.

1080
01:10:53,550 --> 01:10:59,423
It's Hanuman, monkey god of
self-control, faith and pure devotion.

1081
01:10:59,505 --> 01:11:02,133
- Did you just make that up?
- I may have, yeah.

1082
01:11:02,216 --> 01:11:04,810
Soft toy. Nice touch. Come here.

1083
01:11:04,886 --> 01:11:07,637
Hey?

1084
01:11:07,638 --> 01:11:09,184
Now, where have you been?

1085
01:11:09,185 --> 01:11:11,272
Your Bollywood mates
have started to fret.

1086
01:11:11,273 --> 01:11:14,064
- I like to keep them waiting.
- Well, let's go. You too, Ricky.

1087
01:11:14,065 --> 01:11:16,188
What do you boys think of my commission?

1088
01:11:16,189 --> 01:11:18,153
Yeah, it's good.
Is that you in the middle?

1089
01:11:18,154 --> 01:11:20,572
RICK: Do I look like John Farnham?
TED: A little.

1090
01:11:21,736 --> 01:11:24,114
Ladies and gentlemen
of the Bollywood Glitterati,

1091
01:11:24,197 --> 01:11:25,744
how hot is peach?

1092
01:11:28,493 --> 01:11:30,619
I'd like to propose a toast.

1093
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:33,999
To the young Buck,
the ravishing Rick Shaw.

1094
01:11:37,460 --> 01:11:39,963
And secondly,
to the fashionably late.

1095
01:11:39,964 --> 01:11:43,136
President of the wildest
cricket tour on record,

1096
01:11:43,216 --> 01:11:45,594
ladies and gentlemen,
Mr Downtown Teddy Brown!

1097
01:11:48,971 --> 01:11:51,681
Look who's here - Mr Bojangles.

1098
01:11:51,682 --> 01:11:54,151
Are you gonna dance for us?

1099
01:11:54,227 --> 01:11:58,647
No, no, no dancing tonight.
But mind if I make a speech?

1100
01:11:58,648 --> 01:12:01,151
Yeah! Go, Teddy! Speech!

1101
01:12:05,446 --> 01:12:10,408
Uh, I guess a buck's night
is all about

1102
01:12:10,409 --> 01:12:15,247
saying goodbye to an old life
and hello to a new one.

1103
01:12:15,248 --> 01:12:20,210
I for one haven't been ready to let go
of the way we've always been.

1104
01:12:20,211 --> 01:12:23,010
But things are changing.

1105
01:12:25,383 --> 01:12:28,762
Life's not about clinging tight
to what you once had.

1106
01:12:28,763 --> 01:12:32,639
It's like Rick, it's having a crack
at something new.

1107
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:34,808
It's manning up.

1108
01:12:34,809 --> 01:12:40,191
Because, well,
we're not little boys anymore.

1109
01:12:41,816 --> 01:12:44,818
So this is a little overdue.

1110
01:12:44,819 --> 01:12:48,280
Congratulations, Ricky,
on finding 'The One'.

1111
01:12:48,281 --> 01:12:50,156
<i>MAN: Good on you, Ricky!</i>

1112
01:12:50,157 --> 01:12:51,875
I wish you nothing but the best.

1113
01:12:51,876 --> 01:12:54,462
<i>Thank you.</i>

1114
01:12:56,747 --> 01:12:58,498
Think quick, Teddy, think quick!

1115
01:12:58,499 --> 01:13:02,254
<i>MAN: Say thanks, Teddy!
MAN: Show us!</i>

1116
01:13:06,632 --> 01:13:08,259
I gotta take it off first!

1117
01:13:13,055 --> 01:13:17,652
Look, guys, cricket is just a game.

1118
01:13:17,727 --> 01:13:20,480
CROWD: Come on, Teddy...
- No, no, I've realised.

1119
01:13:20,481 --> 01:13:22,527
It's about priorities.

1120
01:13:23,941 --> 01:13:28,287
Family and friends and lovers,
that's all we've got.

1121
01:13:31,699 --> 01:13:33,246
I love you, Anglers.

1122
01:13:37,079 --> 01:13:38,877
I love you too, Teddy Brown!

1123
01:13:38,878 --> 01:13:41,708
We all love you, Teddy.

1124
01:13:41,709 --> 01:13:43,668
ALL: We love you, Teddy!

1125
01:13:43,669 --> 01:13:46,671
I think I'm gonna puke.

1126
01:13:46,672 --> 01:13:49,767
That's the problem with
Aussie cricket these days, man.

1127
01:13:49,768 --> 01:13:53,929
You guys are all New-Age
and metrosexual.

1128
01:13:53,930 --> 01:13:56,558
You come to India,
lose every single game,

1129
01:13:56,559 --> 01:13:59,059
yet have the audacity to celebrate?

1130
01:13:59,060 --> 01:14:00,977
<i>MAN: Oh, get out!</i>

1131
01:14:00,978 --> 01:14:03,948
That's not how it would be
in my team, Mr Bojangles.

1132
01:14:03,949 --> 01:14:07,359
- Sorry, your team?
STAV: That's right, Teddy.

1133
01:14:07,360 --> 01:14:09,527
The Fonz has a cricket team.

1134
01:14:09,528 --> 01:14:12,748
This is India. Everyone has a team.

1135
01:14:15,493 --> 01:14:17,369
Alright.

1136
01:14:17,370 --> 01:14:19,120
One final game.

1137
01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:21,965
Your Bollywood posers versus
my New School Anglers.

1138
01:14:21,966 --> 01:14:23,505
Twenty20 style!

1139
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:27,718
Teddy, quickly, we have a problem.

1140
01:14:27,797 --> 01:14:31,800
Mark is gone, we're one short.
We can't field a team.

1141
01:14:31,801 --> 01:14:33,468
Ah.

1142
01:14:33,469 --> 01:14:36,814
Who else is gonna look good
in Angler blue?

1143
01:14:39,558 --> 01:14:41,105
Don't even think about it.

1144
01:14:43,187 --> 01:14:45,155
J' Bollywood.

1145
01:14:56,158 --> 01:14:58,159
It's a marvellous night
for cricket here

1146
01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,161
at the glittering
Bombay Cricket Club,

1147
01:15:00,162 --> 01:15:02,130
and the celebrities
have come out to play

1148
01:15:02,206 --> 01:15:04,791
an impromptu international challenge.

1149
01:15:04,792 --> 01:15:07,386
<i>Super hunk Tusshar Rai
has gathered together</i>

1150
01:15:07,387 --> 01:15:09,379
<i>a star-studded Bollywood team</i>

1151
01:15:09,380 --> 01:15:10,925
<i>and they're going to take on</i>

1152
01:15:10,926 --> 01:15:12,766
<i>the unknown team from Down Under,</i>

1153
01:15:12,767 --> 01:15:14,351
<i>the Abbotsford Anglers.</i>

1154
01:15:14,427 --> 01:15:16,930
J' Bollywood song.

1155
01:15:36,073 --> 01:15:38,451
Yes, Anjie! Keep up! Keep up!

1156
01:15:40,870 --> 01:15:43,542
<i>COMMENTATOR: Listen to the roar
of the crowd</i>

1157
01:15:43,543 --> 01:15:45,460
<i>as this Twenty20 match comes to life.</i>

1158
01:15:45,461 --> 01:15:47,504
<i>The Anglers are working hard
in the field,</i>

1159
01:15:47,505 --> 01:15:49,172
<i>but do they have any answers</i>

1160
01:15:49,173 --> 01:15:52,014
<i>for the hard-hitting hero
from Bollywood, Tusshar Rai?</i>

1161
01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:11,649
We need a bit of magic.

1162
01:16:11,650 --> 01:16:13,402
What you got, Prince?

1163
01:16:15,237 --> 01:16:17,331
No idea.

1164
01:16:17,406 --> 01:16:20,658
<i>PRINCE: But the best way
to find yourself</i>

1165
01:16:20,659 --> 01:16:23,333
<i>is to lose yourself in the service
of others.</i>

1166
01:16:40,679 --> 01:16:42,226
He)!' Fonzie!

1167
01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:49,229
Now, Anglers, Anglers, Anglers.

1168
01:16:49,230 --> 01:16:51,898
I said a lot of things at Rick's party.

1169
01:16:51,899 --> 01:16:54,869
Things about life
and love and fluffy toys.

1170
01:16:56,112 --> 01:16:58,240
I want you to forget everything I said.

1171
01:16:58,241 --> 01:17:02,244
Alright? Right now,
it is about this Australian team

1172
01:17:02,326 --> 01:17:04,327
winning a game of cricket in India!

1173
01:17:04,328 --> 01:17:06,830
Come on!

1174
01:17:06,831 --> 01:17:08,253
Get out there!

1175
01:17:16,507 --> 01:17:19,509
Stop the game! Stop the game!

1176
01:17:19,510 --> 01:17:21,478
Stop the game!

1177
01:17:23,681 --> 01:17:25,348
This is a private club!

1178
01:17:25,349 --> 01:17:27,350
<i>MAN: What's the problem?
What's going on?</i>

1179
01:17:27,351 --> 01:17:29,570
Let the boys play.
This is nothing to do with you.

1180
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:31,691
Mr Subhash, Mark.
What are you doing here?

1181
01:17:31,692 --> 01:17:34,361
You have no right to set foot
on this hallowed turf.

1182
01:17:34,362 --> 01:17:38,113
I know, we messed up in Varanasi
and I've apologised to Sanjeet.

1183
01:17:38,114 --> 01:17:40,490
RICK: No, I'm sorry,
I should have been there.

1184
01:17:40,491 --> 01:17:41,703
I was off my face...

1185
01:17:41,704 --> 01:17:43,952
I did get a bit Alpha that clay,
just a little bit.

1186
01:17:43,953 --> 01:17:46,329
No, I should apologise
for throwing the match.

1187
01:17:46,330 --> 01:17:49,753
- But I take 100% responsibility...
- Oh, come on, stop it!

1188
01:17:49,754 --> 01:17:52,500
Stop it! This is a private club!

1189
01:17:52,501 --> 01:17:54,720
Only for members! By invitation!

1190
01:17:54,795 --> 01:17:57,548
Yeah, I'm a member.
Who are you?

1191
01:18:00,759 --> 01:18:04,182
Mr Subhash, you know
Tusshar Rai, Bollywood superstar?

1192
01:18:04,183 --> 01:18:07,059
He seems to have an issue
with his 'hallowed turf'.

1193
01:18:07,060 --> 01:18:08,892
They're my guests.

1194
01:18:08,893 --> 01:18:12,568
SUBHASH: This team is masquerading
as A-grade cricketers.

1195
01:18:12,569 --> 01:18:14,736
Ha! You should be ashamed.

1196
01:18:14,815 --> 01:18:17,111
And you should stop
masquerading as a redhead.

1197
01:18:17,112 --> 01:18:19,362
That polyester rug isn't fooling anyone.

1198
01:18:21,572 --> 01:18:23,950
Come on, Anglers, you can win this.

1199
01:18:28,579 --> 01:18:30,126
Very funny.

1200
01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:14,800
TED: Mate, great innings.
Let's go, Punter.

1201
01:19:16,835 --> 01:19:18,382
Well done.

1202
01:19:20,589 --> 01:19:22,262
Well played, champ.

1203
01:19:23,425 --> 01:19:24,927
We're gonna win this.

1204
01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:31,102
I've got something for you.
Calm the nerves.

1205
01:19:31,103 --> 01:19:33,102
Mate, I don't need your uppers
or your downers

1206
01:19:33,185 --> 01:19:35,734
or your mummy's little sideways helpers.
Mate, I'm good.

1207
01:19:37,648 --> 01:19:40,071
You're Sachin today. Wear it.

1208
01:19:42,611 --> 01:19:44,113
How did...

1209
01:19:44,196 --> 01:19:46,911
Well, holy man rescued it for us
from the River Ganges.

1210
01:19:46,912 --> 01:19:48,409
It's totally blessed now.

1211
01:19:49,702 --> 01:19:51,045
Come on!

1212
01:20:00,838 --> 01:20:02,431
Good time, Gobb!

1213
01:20:15,686 --> 01:20:17,484
CROWD: Oh...

1214
01:20:27,531 --> 01:20:28,703
Argh!

1215
01:20:38,459 --> 01:20:40,710
<i>Well, it's all happening here.</i>

1216
01:20:40,711 --> 01:20:44,341
<i>The wickets keep tumbling and now
the Anglers need just six runs to win</i>

1217
01:20:44,342 --> 01:20:46,007
<i>up the final over.</i>

1218
01:20:46,008 --> 01:20:49,306
<i>It's crunch time for the tourists
and their president, Ted Brown.</i>

1219
01:20:49,307 --> 01:20:52,143
<i>Can he handle
the pressure-cooker atmosphere?</i>

1220
01:20:52,144 --> 01:20:55,109
<i>This is what cricket is all about.
Here we go.</i>

1221
01:20:56,727 --> 01:20:58,311
Come on, Ted.

1222
01:20:58,312 --> 01:21:00,155
- Let's go, Teddy!
- Come on, Teddy!

1223
01:21:01,482 --> 01:21:03,191
<i>MAN: Come on, Teddy!</i>

1224
01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:05,911
Alright. Stay focused.

1225
01:21:05,986 --> 01:21:09,280
Alright? Six to win. Six balls left.

1226
01:21:09,281 --> 01:21:11,157
- You are the man for the job.
- Yes, I am.

1227
01:21:11,158 --> 01:21:13,456
- Best batsman in the club's history.
- That's correct.

1228
01:21:13,535 --> 01:21:15,162
- That's why you're number 3.
- Mm-hm.

1229
01:21:15,245 --> 01:21:18,539
And Maiden Century on foreign soil -
the dream.

1230
01:21:18,540 --> 01:21:20,755
Please, shut up, Ted. Shut up, shut up.

1231
01:21:20,756 --> 01:21:24,092
The reason I didn't tell you about
kicking you out of the garage is...

1232
01:21:24,093 --> 01:21:25,802
Teddy, please, please, please.

1233
01:21:25,803 --> 01:21:27,926
Is because I really like
having you around.

1234
01:21:30,636 --> 01:21:33,476
But it's Janine. It's Janine, alright?
She wants a yoga studio.

1235
01:21:33,477 --> 01:21:35,816
I really want a man cave
but she's very persuasive.

1236
01:21:35,817 --> 01:21:38,768
- She talks and I can't...
- It's OK.

1237
01:21:38,769 --> 01:21:40,316
It's time.

1238
01:21:42,189 --> 01:21:44,607
Just bring it home.

1239
01:21:44,608 --> 01:21:47,157
- So we're good.
- Mate.

1240
01:21:49,196 --> 01:21:51,406
<i>MAN: Bring it home!</i>

1241
01:21:51,407 --> 01:21:53,616
CROWD: Come on, Stav! Come on!

1242
01:21:53,617 --> 01:21:55,868
Six runs, baby, come on.

1243
01:21:55,869 --> 01:21:57,792
Take the glory, Stav. It's all yours.

1244
01:21:59,998 --> 01:22:01,545
Play your natural game.

1245
01:22:10,342 --> 01:22:12,060
Come on, baby, let's go, let's go.

1246
01:22:12,136 --> 01:22:13,934
All good, Teddy, all good.

1247
01:22:17,349 --> 01:22:19,392
<i>- <i>MAN: Do it again...</i>
- <i>Stav.</i>

1248
01:22:19,393 --> 01:22:21,566
- Come on, mate.
- Have a crack!

1249
01:22:21,645 --> 01:22:23,397
Come on, Stav!

1250
01:22:32,656 --> 01:22:34,829
No, Ted, no, no, just the one!
Just the one!

1251
01:22:37,035 --> 01:22:38,787
Stavy, what are you doing?

1252
01:22:41,582 --> 01:22:43,300
Why didn't you run?

1253
01:22:43,375 --> 01:22:45,423
You finish this, Teddy, you finish it!

1254
01:22:47,546 --> 01:22:49,088
Come on!

1255
01:22:49,089 --> 01:22:50,762
<i>TUSSHA R: Scared, Ted?</i>

1256
01:23:01,059 --> 01:23:03,019
Ah, shit.

1257
01:23:03,020 --> 01:23:04,693
Come on, Ted!

1258
01:23:08,609 --> 01:23:10,282
Come on, Teddy!

1259
01:24:25,727 --> 01:24:28,401
So, uh, this team's
from Melbourne, huh?

1260
01:24:28,402 --> 01:24:32,277
Yes. The Abbotsford Anglers.

1261
01:24:36,280 --> 01:24:38,624
The best D-grade team
I've ever sponsored.

1262
01:24:46,498 --> 01:24:52,722
ISinging eye yi yippee yippee ai.

1263
01:24:52,796 --> 01:24:56,299
ISinging Abbotsford Anglers
Abbotsford Anglers.

1264
01:24:56,300 --> 01:24:59,725
ISinging eye yi yippee yippee ai. I.

1265
01:25:02,598 --> 01:25:05,477
IBollywood.

1266
01:25:17,362 --> 01:25:20,206
II was walking down the street.

1267
01:25:21,575 --> 01:25:24,374
IConcentrating on trucking right.

1268
01:25:25,787 --> 01:25:28,757
II heard a dark voice beside of me.

1269
01:25:29,916 --> 01:25:33,919
IAnd I looked around
in a state of fright.

1270
01:25:33,920 --> 01:25:36,255
II saw four faces, one mad.

1271
01:25:36,256 --> 01:25:38,466
IA brother from the gutter.

1272
01:25:38,467 --> 01:25:40,561
IThey looked me up and down a bit.

1273
01:25:40,636 --> 01:25:42,434
IAnd turned to each other.

1274
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:48,601
ALL: II don't like cricket.

1275
01:25:48,602 --> 01:25:50,570
IOh, no!

1276
01:25:50,646 --> 01:25:52,273
II love it!

1277
01:25:52,356 --> 01:25:53,898
'Poh! Yeah!

1278
01:25:53,899 --> 01:25:56,402
II don't like cricket.

1279
01:25:56,485 --> 01:25:58,778
IOh, no!

1280
01:25:58,779 --> 01:26:00,321
II love it!

1281
01:26:00,322 --> 01:26:01,906
'Poh! Yeah!

1282
01:26:01,907 --> 01:26:04,659
II don't like cricket.

1283
01:26:04,660 --> 01:26:06,535
IOh, no!

1284
01:26:06,536 --> 01:26:08,079
II love it.

1285
01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:09,830
'Poh! Yeah!

1286
01:26:09,831 --> 01:26:12,041
II don't like cricket.

1287
01:26:12,042 --> 01:26:14,168
IOh, no!

1288
01:26:14,169 --> 01:26:15,716
II love it! <i>I.</i>

1289
01:26:25,847 --> 01:26:28,307
Hey, hey, hey-

1290
01:26:28,308 --> 01:26:31,812
This is Bollywood.
The hero gets the girl.

1291
01:26:35,440 --> 01:26:37,863
MAN: Save your legs, Teddy!

1292
01:27:56,772 --> 01:27:59,821
Captions by
Captioning & Subtitling International