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7
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:19,251
[music played on the radio]

8
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:22,021
Rachael: this is my sister

9
00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:23,822
Man: okay
You might
want your father's record

10
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:25,524
makes world class

11
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,893
Dinner Hamburger Helper

12
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:30,429
He is making
Hamburger Helper dinner

13
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:32,931
Yes.
You have
dog food tonight

14
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:38,337
Rachael: It's Dad, Mommy -

15
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,873
hello, Penny--

16
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:45,878
and I'm Rachael, people who make videos about my family

17
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,449
Next time, join me
for another video

18
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:53,318
I can't think what
I will do next, though.

19
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:58,123
Um, this is Friday, July 27,

20
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:02,361
and I am a little over two months
on testosterone,

21
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:05,931
two months and 6 days...

22
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:10,669
and my name is Ben
because I changed it

23
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,661
Ben, voice over: all I really
want is to, like -

24
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,796
I just want to be loved
by my family,

25
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:41,900
and I think that for my family,
is not that simple.

26
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:47,606
I mean, it's complicated
for them.

27
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,808
[guitar continues]

28
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:14,166
A little.

29
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,168
Some things
are something

30
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,604
I only set aside
because I think

31
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:22,774
if ever
a child one day -

32
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:24,810
You are not
using that

33
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:30,182
Wow.
I have a lot of
Pokemon cards

34
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:32,951
I never
see the allure

35
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:35,654
Wow.
This might be
something worthy  Do I choose this?
No.

36
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:38,423


37
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,826
You guys, and I also use them everywhere

38
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,661
Uh huh.
Oh, my God.

39
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,329
Geez.
Oh no.

40
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,731
Is that funny?

41
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:49,134
Am I carrying this bridal package?
from my own face around,

42
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:50,636
or this for
you bring,

43
00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:53,305
Fanny package with my image
on it?

44
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,407
You are your child
soccer uniforms

45
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,743
With me missing
two front teeth

46
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:02,681
[sighs]

47
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:06,285
That is ours
Christmas cards.
Hmm.

48
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,825
[no audio]

49
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,566
Ben, voice over:
When I was young,

50
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:23,936
I hate using
women's toilets.

51
00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:26,104
Yes.
Ball.

52
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,106
Ben, voice over: My mother
will try to get me

53
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:31,510
to make my ears pierced so that people
will know I'm still a girl.

54
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:41,520
I was tomboy
for a very long time,

55
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,890
until I arrived at high school
and puberty began to occur.

56
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,725
Everyone changes.

57
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:50,329
All: ♪ Happy birthday,
dear Rachael ♪

58
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,797
♪ Cha cha cha ♪

59
00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,198
♪ Congratulations... ♪

60
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,733
Ben, voice over: I feel like
I have to, like,

61
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,803
grow my hair or become a loser
or become an outcast

62
00:03:57,805 --> 00:04:00,239
or, you know, like,
is different,

63
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:04,576
and I don't want
to be different.

64
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:09,348
I started cutting myself
when I was young,

65
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:13,318
and I think so
is my first addiction.

66
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:18,290
It's definitely how I handle
by feeling very wrong

67
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:23,729
I stole
from the people around me

68
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:27,332
and doing drugs that I swear
I will never do it...

69
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,870
and my dad gambles a lot,

70
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:35,140
and my mother is watching
Her family is falling apart.

71
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:41,280
3 years ago, like,
the last time I cut myself

72
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:43,982
because I go too deep.

73
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:48,387
I remember the doctor entering
and, like, opening a wound,

74
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:52,891
and he is like, "Oh, baby,
you cut the tendon,"

75
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,093
like, "You will have to be operated."

76
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,475
Boy, on a computer:
... annoying me.

77
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:13,345
Like, I would say,
After, like, 6 months...

78
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:17,616
I don't want to be a woman.
I just want to be me.

79
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:20,118
My body is not how
I also want it.

80
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,722
People don't understand what
I go every day...

81
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,725
Ben, voice over: There's a large number
the number of guys and girls

82
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:30,095
Out there who are transitioning,
share their experiences,

83
00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:32,297
and share hope
with each other.

84
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:36,535
It's okay not to be 6'3 ".
It's okay to not have facial hair.

85
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,737
My parents are actually still
don't call me Keith,

86
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,272
still call me Kim

87
00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:44,576
Hey, guys, I have decided
to talk about, like, dating

88
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:48,447
and how it happens
trans children in high school

89
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:59,191
Ben, voice over: The best
the prize I received

90
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,993
When browsing, I know
I am not alone.

91
00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:14,740
I am aware because it can
no longer deny

92
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:19,811
that there is a solution
for what I experience,

93
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,114
which is a transition

94
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,886
This is how
I will explain it.

95
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:32,924
I'm really a boy

96
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:36,061
with the wrong body part.

97
00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:40,298
No, I just thought,
you know,

98
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:43,802
there are
arguments from...

99
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,871
you are not.

100
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:49,107
I don't understand -
I just--

101
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,842
Our thinking
back to...

102
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:51,910
This still confuses me.

103
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,745
what defines
what is a boy

104
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:57,682
Is that your brain
or what is your body?

105
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:02,154
In our hearts,
you are Rachael

106
00:07:02,156 --> 00:07:05,090
That's what we have
know you as,

107
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:08,760
and it's difficult
habits to break

108
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,696
What's wrong?
with opinions

109
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:14,232
You are who you are and
You get what you get,

110
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,934
and I understand, you know -

111
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:19,638
Is that why why?
plastic Surgery?

112
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,141
Improve what you have,
Is that okay with you?

113
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,677
Where do you draw the line
You get what you get.

114
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,779
Stop getting
haircuts and hair dyes.

115
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,782
Stop piercing your ears.
Stop wearing makeup.

116
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:36,922
Like, what I have

117
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:41,493
is the body
is not right

118
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:46,131
Man, voice over: Hey, Rachael,
how old are you today

119
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,599
5.

120
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:50,402
You want to open yourself up
gifts?

121
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:53,772
What I want, what I always,

122
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:57,809
always want--
suit jacket.

123
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:02,113
Oh man,
is that interesting?

124
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:05,183
Yes.

125
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:08,019
Suzy, voice over:
We all have received this

126
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,889
for a very long time,
and that is Rachael,

127
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:13,325
and that's what I have tried
to explain to you,

128
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,160
that you are Rachael

129
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,696
That's you.
Everyone knows you like this.

130
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,564
They know that you--
you know,

131
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:22,434
You march to your own drummer,
and you are unique,

132
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:24,302
and that's why
they all love you,

133
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:27,873
and the whole flip is
for, you know,

134
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,909
"No, it's not strange.

135
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:37,115
" You know,
I'm in the wrong body, "is -

136
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,484
You know, I think we all
have that feeling,

137
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:41,319
" I'm in a body wrong.

138
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:43,555
I have to
on Charlize Theron's body. "

139
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:46,191
[splashing water]

140
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:50,562
You know, he saves
for surgery,

141
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:53,965
and he goes to
therapy for 6 months

142
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:56,067
so he can get hormones,
and it feels like,

143
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,470
" Only that is needed,
6 months? "

144
00:08:58,472 --> 00:09:01,273
Looks like
a little time

145
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:07,445
for someone who has changed
he - his mind is so frequent,

146
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:12,751
um, to make decisions
this serious.

147
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,493
Ben, voice over: I hope
that my family is willing

148
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:24,362
to, like, give me a chance.

149
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:27,832
My sister doesn't talk to me

150
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:30,068
and my father, who sucks,
do you know?

151
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:33,471
Like, I'm very angry
to my parents

152
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:40,045
It becomes difficult when they don't answer your phone calls  or don't want to see you

153
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,714
♪ If the only truth you have
is that you are living a lie ♪

154
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:53,858
♪ And if time
won't free pain ♪

155
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:56,027
♪ You have held hostage
in your mind ♪

156
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,697


157
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:03,868
♪ Fear of my love ♪

158
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,740
♪ If your skin
your soul manifests ♪

159
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,709
♪ Looks like
isn't very suitable ♪

160
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:16,381
♪ And you hate
what their god gave you ♪

161
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:20,752
♪ Fear of my love ♪

162
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:29,761
♪ my love ♪

163
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:37,802
♪ My love ♪

164
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,277
[music ends]

165
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:53,885
Your first YouTube
video is like,

166
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:56,287
"Hi friends, this is Dyl--"

167
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,556
Ha ha ha!
Very funny.

168
00:10:58,558 --> 00:10:59,958
Ben, voice over:
Dylan is my best friend.

169
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,426
It used to be very funny.

170
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:02,727
Ben, voice over: We both,
like, drunk and trance,

171
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,863
and our friends know each other
and like,

172
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:07,465
"Why don't we introduce it?"

173
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,567
We have known each other
for a very short time,

174
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:13,204
but I have never had it
friends like Dylan...

175
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,877
and we will move
to Santa Cruz along with

176
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:21,546
in a few months
and start at the same school,

177
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:25,950
and funny how, like,
I've never felt so close

178
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:28,720
to friends

179
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:33,091
All of our photos are
we are on Facebook

180
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,926
we need to do it again
but with a beard

181
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:37,262
Ha ha ha!
with lines.

182
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:39,330
Clothes, we wear
only striped shirts.

183
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:40,932
Yes.
Oh wait.

184
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,567
Didn't we start doing it?
on the same side

185
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:43,835
so we will have this

186
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,103
Yes.
I am on
left side today

187
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,838
Me too.
Oh, yes.

188
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,840
That means our
is on schedule

189
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,442
Ben, voice over:
Our testosterone injections

190
00:11:50,444 --> 00:11:52,177
on the same day, Monday,

191
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:55,780
and so we are Skyping
our injections

192
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:58,516
I can't wait until
we can actually

193
00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,785
do this next
each other again.

194
00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:05,123
Do I have a beard yet?

195
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,991
Yes?
Dude, right

196
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:08,860
Ha ha ha!

197
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,529
Do you tell
my coworkers are single

198
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:13,965
Chk chk chk chk chk.
Ha ha ha!

199
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,201
He is not single.
No.

200
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,002
Oh, damn it.

201
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:21,306
We ordered our top operations
for the same day -

202
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:24,976
December 27 this year,
who are in, like, 5 months -

203
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:29,614
go to the doctor Garramone
in Florida,

204
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,417
and his mother paid
for our plane ticket and hotel,

205
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,452
and he will come
and take care of us,

206
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,888
which is crazy
because my mother doesn't want to.

207
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:43,361
Oh...

208
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,798
Mm-hmm.

209
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,604
Alright, so you don't want to be there
I don't--
I never said that.

210
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:01,246
You are not interested in
in participating, and -

211
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,448


212
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,717
No, I - not what I say.

213
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:08,987
I say - you want--
as far as finance -

214
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,722
I will not pay
for your plane ticket

215
00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:13,525
I don't ask you to pay
for my plane ticket,

216
00:13:13,527 --> 00:13:15,794
But, I mean, if
you will undergo

217
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,729
some serious
operations--

218
00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:19,430
No, I mean,
is very serious  Yes.
This.

219
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,065
Really okay
if it's only them

220
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,034
That's all.
Oh.

221
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:25,370
That's how you want
.

222
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,639
[stomping]

223
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,312
[clears throat]

224
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:39,083
[stomping continues]

225
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:40,985
[close the door]

226
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,254


227
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:48,126
Suzy, voice over: It's difficult
are around a lot of my friends

228
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:51,396
because, you know,
they talk about their children

229
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:54,165
and the success of their children
and you know,

230
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,868
"My child goes to Harvard,"
or has a scholarship,

231
00:13:56,870 --> 00:14:01,005
and, "How is Rachael?"
and I--

232
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,707
[sniffles]

233
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:09,180
"Oh, okay, you know, find -
find their way,

234
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,182
find the way," you know,

235
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,552
like,
run away over pronouns.

236
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,991
Ben: My mother is all about, like,
looks good,

237
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,227
and, like, you know,
he doesn't even support

238
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:25,163
from my operating idea,
but then as I like,

239
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:28,299
"Mrs. Dylan will come,"
She was like, "Can I come?"

240
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,435
and it's like, "No."

241
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,303
I like, "No. Like, no.

242
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:35,106
" I work very hard to make it
It happens for myself,

243
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,141
"and, like, all you have done
is kind of trying

244
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:41,045
" and standing in that way,
and, like, why do I want you?

245
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,514
"pretending so
supports that

246
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:47,886
when, like, I have people
who is actually supporting?"

247
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,888
[sniffles]

248
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,568
Joe Stevens: ♪ The wind has arrived
to lower me ♪

249
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,675
♪ I built this childhood
for boys ♪

250
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,547
♪ I looked around
they were thin trees ♪

251
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,616
♪ And sunken cows ♪

252
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,954
♪ Nobody knows anything ♪

253
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:26,157
♪ Unless I
and the crow knows... ♪

254
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,558
Ben, voice over:
Music has, like,

255
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:34,766
Like, I knew Joe Stevens beforehand
I know Joe Stevens, you know?

256
00:15:41,675 --> 00:15:44,909
You know, when I want to know
if my voice will be okay

257
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:49,047
♪ Who am I facing the storm?
♪

258
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:07,865
♪ And one morning, I woke up ♪

259
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:11,469
♪ And I'm this guy named Joe ♪

260
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,603
Heh heh

261
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:17,775
Ben: And then I met him.
This is crazy.

262
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:24,315
Joe: ♪ I've seen
your life begin... ♪

263
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,085
Ben: I met Joe
at a wise conference.

264
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:29,887
I was very inspired
with everything he did.

265
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:32,623
Joe: ♪ The love I know ♪

266
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:37,562
♪ I will come to you... ♪

267
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:40,965
Ben: When I first met her,
I starred,

268
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:44,669
You know, "Oh, my God, I'm
with Joe Stevens.
God."

269
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:48,573
Joe:
♪ All right, it's okay ♪

270
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:52,944
♪ Say that's fine ♪

271
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:56,681
♪ Oh, who, oh ♪

272
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,953
[knock on the door]

273
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,723
Hello.
Hey.

274
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,525
WELCOME.
Thank you.

275
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,560
Hurray!
Glad to see you.

276
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:10,828
Does your back hurt?

277
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,030
A little, sweating.
Yes.

278
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,865
So, welcome.
Ahh...

279
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:17,035
Ben, voice over: Like,
I don't even have words to say

280
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:21,439
How amazed I am
for Joe's generosity,

281
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:25,009
invite me to just come stay
free from rent in Sacramento

282
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:28,046
and record music with me,
and the fact that Joe

283
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:30,748
is, like, not only will
help me record my music,

284
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,785
but potentially playing with me
just crazy

285
00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:35,620
Like, it's already like a dream come true.

286
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,055
Awesome
This will be...

287
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,389
Excited.

288
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,725
good month

289
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,360
Mm-hmm.
Ha ha ha!

290
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:46,064
Can't wait

291
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,532
Just cut it

292
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,300
Joe, voice over: I met him
at a weak youth conference,

293
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:53,604
and I turn it on there
are another trans person.

294
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:56,474
Want to be cut down
all the small ones

295
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:57,942
which stands out
everywhere.

296
00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:59,944
Mm-hmm.

297
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,712
Joe, voice over: You know,
we're both addicts,

298
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,881
and we are both trans,
and we are both musicians,

299
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,184
and I have never
around other people

300
00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:08,953
which has all 3
similarities.

301
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:11,956
That may be the 3 things that determine me the most.

302
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:14,559
[mandolin and double bass
play]

303
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:22,600
[Joe sings unclear]

304
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:36,714
Joe, voice over:
We are very similar in that matter

305
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:39,083
You know, we have a very difficult time  Adolescence and family
are not in good condition,

306
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,819
and we are sent to the program,
and we have lots

307
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:44,655
from the same acting
behavior.

308
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,391


309
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:51,229
Joe: ♪ He has a sister,
oh, they are two of a kind ♪

310
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:53,831
♪ They grow ♪

311
00:18:57,036 --> 00:19:00,571
♪ He comes around,
I can see through his eyes ♪

312
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,907
♪ All the pain, the pain ♪

313
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:05,743
♪ That's bad, starts lying ♪

314
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,311
Joe, voice over:
I know how it feels

315
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,180
to be inoperable
and to try and find out

316
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:10,748
how to make it happen

317
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,550
I know how it feels
really have trouble

318
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:16,888
with your family, and if I can
make it easier for him,

319
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:21,392
it is worth - it is worth
through all of that

320
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,101
[buzzing]

321
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,938
GOOD.

322
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,706
I am impressed.
OK?

323
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,808
I'm a little nervous,
Yes.

324
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,477
but I--
Me too

325
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:43,114
♪ I'm so scared ♪

326
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:46,884
♪ Everything stays the same ♪

327
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:50,288
♪ The page turns,
the words are learned ♪

328
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:53,925
♪ But the meaning
never changes ♪

329
00:19:53,927 --> 00:20:00,965
♪ And also not ♪

330
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:03,534
Wait.
GOOD,
but stupid talk

331
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,469
Like capo here.

332
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:06,938
Any chords
This?

333
00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:08,172
Yes.
GOOD.

334
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:09,273
[played B minor chord]

335
00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:10,308
Major, though.

336
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,609
[Plays B chord]

337
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:12,877
Uh-huh, only to make it
like the whole phrase.

338
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,112
I need music
theoretical lessons

339
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:18,983
♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪

340
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:21,219
♪ Oh, oh ♪

341
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:26,557
♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪

342
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,326
♪ Oh, oh ♪

343
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:36,767
♪ Oh, when darkness
all looks light ♪

344
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:42,406
♪ Oh, when darkness
all looks light ♪

345
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,209
Good.
It works well.

346
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:46,711
OK.
Cool.
We have a new bridge.

347
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:55,853
Joe: Your hair is cute

348
00:20:55,855 --> 00:21:00,458
Joe: ♪ Born blind,
born blind ♪

349
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,595
♪ I can never see... ♪

350
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,665
Joe, voice over: I am
9 months conscious on 20--

351
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,101
which, in my opinion, is one day now -

352
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:13,871
and that's definitely
the longest time I've ever had.

353
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:18,509
I've been pretty much unconscious
over the past 13 years

354
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,180
Joe: ♪ I know where I am... ♪

355
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:24,915
It almost looks like
like a movie set

356
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:27,118
Joe: I know right?

357
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:30,788
Joe, voice over: I want Bennett
to heal and be happy

358
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:34,425
the way that I have a hard time
feelings about myself

359
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:36,827
Joe: Ha ha ha!
Chilhood friend

360
00:21:39,165 --> 00:21:43,200
Joe, voice over: So having it
around, it makes me aware.

361
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:48,572
Joe: ♪ Turn the corner,
say goodbye ♪

362
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:52,143
♪ Blind birth ♪

363
00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:58,582
[whistles]

364
00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:00,351
Hi, Ben.

365
00:22:00,353 --> 00:22:01,585
Hi.
Hi, Mama

366
00:22:01,587 --> 00:22:03,120
Mwah.
You look very funny.

367
00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:05,222
Nice to see you.

368
00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:06,791
Nice to see
you too.

369
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:08,559
Look at my hair.
Terrible.

370
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:09,927
Yes.
You don't know what to do with it  They made me
blow dry it.

371
00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:11,362
Oh, Joe.

372
00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:13,164
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

373
00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:15,132
Oh... that's how it is
Boys wear it?

374
00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:17,501


375
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:20,137
It is in the girls
school yes

376
00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:21,572
Do you know?
Uh-eh.

377
00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:23,874
GOOD.
Yes.
Don't know

378
00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:27,011
Mm.
Oh, we
eat late

379
00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,113
So your mother and father
are in L.A.

380
00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:31,082
My mother is
in Pasadena.

381
00:22:31,084 --> 00:22:32,717
My father on the other side,

382
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:35,586
but they are
divorced

383
00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:38,289
like, like, two
years ago, so -

384
00:22:38,291 --> 00:22:40,958
Mm-hmm,

385
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,127
and I understand, you
contact your sister...

386
00:22:43,129 --> 00:22:44,328
Mm-hmm.

387
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:45,663
and that's good

388
00:22:45,665 --> 00:22:47,031
Yes, and apparently I don't want to meet me,

389
00:22:47,033 --> 00:22:48,766
but it's okay, so -
Mm-hmm.

390
00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:49,967
He will.
Mm-hmm.

391
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:51,469
It only takes time.

392
00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:57,141
solve it
for family,

393
00:22:57,143 --> 00:22:59,944
for my sister
and brother-in-law,

394
00:22:59,946 --> 00:23:01,579
and I remember--
that's weird--

395
00:23:01,581 --> 00:23:03,647
we are in Jack--
Norman, and I--

396
00:23:03,649 --> 00:23:07,184
"I need to tell you
something,"

397
00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:09,687
and then when I say
, you know,

398
00:23:09,689 --> 00:23:12,790
Caitlyn really--
now Joe,

399
00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:15,793
Aunt Becky just said,
"Okay, good for him.

400
00:23:15,795 --> 00:23:18,162
Good for him."
Ha ha ha!

401
00:23:18,164 --> 00:23:20,197
"Oh, alright," and,
of course, Bob left,

402
00:23:20,199 --> 00:23:22,733
"Well, that's the way.
Let's drink again."

403
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:24,635
[Laughter]

404
00:23:29,342 --> 00:23:32,877
Suzy: I returned to one
at my high school reunion,

405
00:23:32,879 --> 00:23:36,447
and I remember someone saying,
"Oh, do you remember that and that?

406
00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:41,419
He is - he's a woman now,"
and I - even then,

407
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:45,623
I don't know that
is called, um, transgender.

408
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:48,726
That's just weird.

409
00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:55,433
People declare
their gender preferences--

410
00:23:55,435 --> 00:24:00,271
You know, "preference"
is not the right word, but -

411
00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:03,407
even though we don't do it
talk about things like that

412
00:24:03,409 --> 00:24:07,778
You know, fair people
are more vocal about that now

413
00:24:11,818 --> 00:24:15,219
I grew up in Texas.

414
00:24:15,221 --> 00:24:18,956
I was raised in Presbyterian
church, and I was in the choir.

415
00:24:20,927 --> 00:24:23,627
My mother is ahead of time.

416
00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:26,363
He
about Planned Parenthood.

417
00:24:26,365 --> 00:24:30,067
He is about having one of his best trustees,

418
00:24:30,069 --> 00:24:33,604
Gay hairdressers,
to the Thanksgiving table.

419
00:24:33,606 --> 00:24:39,477
Um, he is an educated woman,
But I grew up in a mentality

420
00:24:39,479 --> 00:24:42,112
"Don't fly
your dirty laundry

421
00:24:50,523 --> 00:24:52,823
[Perrey and Kingsley's
" Baroque Hoedown "play]

422
00:24:52,825 --> 00:24:54,959
[children laugh]

423
00:24:56,696 --> 00:24:59,463
Rachael: I - I will dance.

424
00:24:59,465 --> 00:25:01,699
I will - I'll -

425
00:25:01,701 --> 00:25:03,834
That's how I dance.

426
00:25:06,739 --> 00:25:09,306
Suzy: Can you look up here?
and give me a big smile?

427
00:25:09,308 --> 00:25:10,608
Cheese.

428
00:25:10,610 --> 00:25:11,876
Suzy, voice over:
I have this vision

429
00:25:11,878 --> 00:25:14,478
When I named my son Rachael

430
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:18,215
from Rapunzely's vision alone.

431
00:25:18,217 --> 00:25:20,217
I just thought of his name
"Rachael" rightly so  the most beautiful
name ever.

432
00:25:20,219 --> 00:25:23,354
See what I found.

433
00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:26,023
Hi.

434
00:25:26,025 --> 00:25:28,392
Suzy, voice over: We are all loved,
You know, Rachael

435
00:25:28,394 --> 00:25:30,728
like Rachael.

436
00:25:30,730 --> 00:25:32,897
From Santa Claus.

437
00:25:32,899 --> 00:25:35,499
That is very special.

438
00:25:35,501 --> 00:25:37,301
Suzy, voice over: You can't
help but love him,

439
00:25:37,303 --> 00:25:39,203
he is so unique
and creative, athletic, funny...

440
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:43,474
♪ Shake, shake, shake,
shake, shake, shake ♪

441
00:25:43,476 --> 00:25:45,843


442
00:25:48,581 --> 00:25:52,416
Suzy:... and the hardest part
with Bennett is that

443
00:25:52,418 --> 00:25:57,521
I still see the same person...

444
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,294
Still I'm Rachael, you know?

445
00:26:30,957 --> 00:26:32,823
See you, buddy.
OK.

446
00:26:34,493 --> 00:26:36,026
I will.
how it happened.

447
00:26:36,028 --> 00:26:38,028
My text too,
I will.

448
00:26:38,030 --> 00:26:40,931
and say hi
for your mother for me

449
00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:08,359
Here?

450
00:27:11,631 --> 00:27:13,897
[Dylan whistles]

451
00:27:13,899 --> 00:27:15,899
Ben: ♪ You are my Samson ♪

452
00:27:15,901 --> 00:27:18,168
♪ The only Samson ♪

453
00:27:18,170 --> 00:27:22,806
♪ You make me happy
when the sky is gray ♪

454
00:27:22,808 --> 00:27:25,342
Don't support that one.
You will lose it

455
00:27:25,344 --> 00:27:29,647
Uh, oh, my God,
I'm very tired.

456
00:27:29,649 --> 00:27:31,348
Dude, we,
like, are here

457
00:27:31,350 --> 00:27:33,384
I know.
Ha ha!

458
00:27:33,386 --> 00:27:36,720
Oh, God, it's been the longest day ever.

459
00:27:50,102 --> 00:27:52,836
Dylan: are you
want to do

460
00:27:52,838 --> 00:27:56,774
This is 4 - 30 minutes
before we go to the gym.

461
00:27:56,776 --> 00:27:59,109
Here is cold.

462
00:27:59,111 --> 00:28:01,879
Why not?
Our heating work?

463
00:28:01,881 --> 00:28:03,414
I don't even know
how do I turn it on

464
00:28:03,416 --> 00:28:04,948
It's here

465
00:28:04,950 --> 00:28:07,851
This is at 90 degrees,
and has been forever.

466
00:28:07,853 --> 00:28:09,186
[clang]

467
00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:10,854
It's not open.

468
00:28:10,856 --> 00:28:13,490
Wait.
There are
pilot lights

469
00:28:13,492 --> 00:28:16,260
What does that mean?

470
00:28:16,262 --> 00:28:18,162
It's not true they
have students

471
00:28:18,164 --> 00:28:20,330
moving to this place
is old-fashioned

472
00:28:20,332 --> 00:28:21,632
and not
have instructions

473
00:28:21,634 --> 00:28:23,000
on anything

474
00:28:23,002 --> 00:28:24,334
That's the only
people who will move -

475
00:28:24,336 --> 00:28:25,335
that's the problem -
because they are like,

476
00:28:25,337 --> 00:28:26,637
"Oh yeah..."
No, I understand,

477
00:28:26,639 --> 00:28:27,871
But, as it should
have newer equipment

478
00:28:27,873 --> 00:28:29,039
because I'm not
understanding

479
00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:30,274
old technology

480
00:28:30,276 --> 00:28:31,475
What is it - I know what the pilot lamp is  I just don't know
how it works.

481
00:28:31,477 --> 00:28:34,011
Ben, voice over: Lately, I have experienced, like,

482
00:28:45,758 --> 00:28:47,224
physical response
for anxiety and shame

483
00:28:47,226 --> 00:28:50,728
and nervousness,
So, like, I became very hot

484
00:28:50,730 --> 00:28:53,130


485
00:28:53,132 --> 00:28:56,033
and, like, sweating, and, like,
I feel like I'm red,

486
00:28:56,035 --> 00:29:01,672
and it's harder for me to talk
and - I don't know

487
00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:06,443
I forget why I can
feel very sad

488
00:29:06,445 --> 00:29:08,846
or, like, why I, like,
all go up and down

489
00:29:08,848 --> 00:29:10,714
and experience this mood change,
and then click,

490
00:29:10,716 --> 00:29:14,084
and I like, "Wow.
Hormones really change."

491
00:29:15,921 --> 00:29:18,055
Things are happening
in my body

492
00:29:18,057 --> 00:29:21,291
it's different
than I've ever experienced

493
00:29:29,135 --> 00:29:32,603
When I'm alone, like,
my head gets louder.

494
00:29:34,473 --> 00:29:36,440
"Is my chest flat?

495
00:29:36,442 --> 00:29:38,575
" What is my shoulder?
enough square?

496
00:29:38,577 --> 00:29:40,210
"What about my hips?
Do my hips -

497
00:29:40,212 --> 00:29:41,845
Am I a muffin-topping?"
You know,

498
00:29:41,847 --> 00:29:44,515
or, like, "Am I acting
socially awkward

499
00:29:44,517 --> 00:29:46,450
" Is my voice low enough?

500
00:29:46,452 --> 00:29:48,652
Can they see my folder? "

501
00:29:51,624 --> 00:29:56,794
I hope I can, like, not worry,
but I can't stop

502
00:30:02,201 --> 00:30:03,767
[beeping]

503
00:30:03,769 --> 00:30:05,602
[Ben evaporates]

504
00:30:17,449 --> 00:30:21,051
Ben, voice over: I save
for my own operations.

505
00:30:21,053 --> 00:30:23,554
I work full time,
so I'm 5 days a week

506
00:30:23,556 --> 00:30:25,989
in company photos

507
00:30:30,262 --> 00:30:33,096
I hate my job, but, like,
I will work every day,

508
00:30:33,098 --> 00:30:35,465
and I appear early,
and I stay late,

509
00:30:35,467 --> 00:30:38,135
And like it,
I am a good worker.

510
00:30:40,272 --> 00:30:42,339
The top operation is something
worth fighting for.

511
00:30:42,341 --> 00:30:44,341
This is something valuable
sweat for

512
00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:47,678
This is something worthy of grinding
my teeth work all day.

513
00:30:55,454 --> 00:30:57,788
[distant dog dog]

514
00:31:05,698 --> 00:31:08,999
Suzy, voice over:
This is a drastic operation,

515
00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:14,238
and I'm not for that

516
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,774
I feel I have to be there.

517
00:31:17,776 --> 00:31:19,443
[sighs]

518
00:31:19,445 --> 00:31:21,712
I don't know yet.

519
00:31:30,289 --> 00:31:33,657
Joe: ♪ It's just another show ♪

520
00:31:33,659 --> 00:31:37,027
♪ That's the only thing I know ♪

521
00:31:37,029 --> 00:31:39,630
♪ There is no other way ♪

522
00:31:39,632 --> 00:31:43,333
♪ So good night, lady ♪

523
00:31:43,335 --> 00:31:46,403
♪ It's just another show ♪

524
00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:49,873
♪ You're the only one I know ♪

525
00:31:49,875 --> 00:31:52,509
♪ No, there's no other way ♪

526
00:31:52,511 --> 00:31:55,579
♪ So good night, lady ♪

527
00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:57,915
♪ Good night, Miss ♪

528
00:31:57,917 --> 00:32:00,217
♪ Good night ♪

529
00:32:08,494 --> 00:32:10,761
[cheering and applause]

530
00:32:10,763 --> 00:32:12,229
Thank you.

531
00:32:12,231 --> 00:32:14,665
Thank you
very much.

532
00:32:16,735 --> 00:32:18,835
Ingrid: For you
who doesn't know,

533
00:32:18,837 --> 00:32:21,972
some results from tonight
will go to our friends

534
00:32:21,974 --> 00:32:24,641
Bennett Wallace, who is the other
singer-songwriter

535
00:32:24,643 --> 00:32:27,711
and our good friends,
and that will help fund

536
00:32:27,713 --> 00:32:30,080
operation for him,
and so we say thank you

537
00:32:30,082 --> 00:32:33,016
because, consciously or unconsciously,
supports this amazing cause.

538
00:32:33,018 --> 00:32:35,285
[applause]

539
00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:37,187
[gulls clawing]

540
00:32:52,071 --> 00:32:55,439
Yes.

541
00:32:55,441 --> 00:32:58,041
I have received or lost
15 pounds.

542
00:32:58,043 --> 00:33:00,210
Am I a circle huh?

543
00:33:00,212 --> 00:33:01,478
Not because
I don't think

544
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,547
muscle
is very important

545
00:33:03,549 --> 00:33:07,351
Uh, yes
Ha!
No?
Ha ha!

546
00:33:07,353 --> 00:33:09,152
[telephone rings]

547
00:33:11,924 --> 00:33:14,057
The last date
comes month.

548
00:33:14,059 --> 00:33:15,726
I just put
my "T" date.

549
00:33:19,331 --> 00:33:22,499
Woman: You must be there at 8:30 a.m.

550
00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:24,167
Do you have
transportation for surgery?

551
00:33:24,169 --> 00:33:25,669
Yes.
You do

552
00:33:35,681 --> 00:33:37,214
I can't wait, man.

553
00:33:37,216 --> 00:33:38,348
His face, though.

554
00:34:29,868 --> 00:34:32,302
I need an arm

555
00:34:35,707 --> 00:34:38,341
Ben, voice over:
I feel good that he came.

556
00:34:38,343 --> 00:34:41,178
I also feel bad

557
00:34:41,180 --> 00:34:47,184
Because, uh, he came,
and - I don't know -

558
00:34:47,186 --> 00:34:49,653
This shows that he loves me
it does a lot of things

559
00:34:49,655 --> 00:34:53,457
that makes it
not happy,

560
00:34:53,459 --> 00:34:56,493
But, you know, being there
for me when I need it

561
00:35:29,061 --> 00:35:32,696
Hopefully, it will happen
Get well soon

562
00:35:32,698 --> 00:35:36,166
and they will wake up
and around in a short time

563
00:35:36,168 --> 00:35:39,069
and then continue
the rest of their lives

564
00:35:39,071 --> 00:35:41,171
I hope they
will find someone

565
00:35:41,173 --> 00:35:42,539
that, you know -

566
00:35:42,541 --> 00:35:44,141
I really have
every confidence

567
00:35:44,143 --> 00:35:46,143
that they will find
the right person for them

568
00:35:46,145 --> 00:35:47,611
because I think
is always there

569
00:35:47,613 --> 00:35:49,913
someone for all people
in this world.

570
00:35:49,915 --> 00:35:52,916
You know, Dylan's
has a boyfriend,

571
00:35:52,918 --> 00:35:56,987
and I just thought
he would find it

572
00:35:56,989 --> 00:35:58,989
the right person
for him.

573
00:35:58,991 --> 00:36:00,790
Dylan has
boyfriend

574
00:36:00,792 --> 00:36:02,659
since he was
Dylan?

575
00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:04,961
Yes.
Yes, so I think that
doesn't really make

576
00:36:04,963 --> 00:36:08,865
there is a difference, um, where
you are in the spectrum.

577
00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:11,034
I think you will do it
find the person

578
00:36:11,036 --> 00:36:13,003
what you want to spend
your time with

579
00:36:13,005 --> 00:36:16,740
and that you will love,
but you know,

580
00:36:16,742 --> 00:36:18,575
we are all there
different places.

581
00:36:18,577 --> 00:36:20,076
That's all.

582
00:36:20,078 --> 00:36:21,645
We don't have to do it
certainly understand it

583
00:36:21,647 --> 00:36:23,647
fully and fully.

584
00:36:23,649 --> 00:36:25,315
We only have
to support them,

585
00:36:25,317 --> 00:36:26,683
support them
and love them

586
00:36:26,685 --> 00:36:28,151
Yes.
Correct.

587
00:36:28,153 --> 00:36:29,753
Love them through it,
That's all you can do.

588
00:36:29,755 --> 00:36:31,254
Being there and their love
and supporting them.

589
00:36:31,256 --> 00:36:32,722
You just nailed it
above the head.

590
00:36:32,724 --> 00:36:36,059
This is like, not really
understand, but -

591
00:36:36,061 --> 00:36:38,361
There are many other things
people in this world

592
00:36:38,363 --> 00:36:40,163
it will love
to bring them down

593
00:36:40,165 --> 00:36:42,699
We only need
make sure we don't--

594
00:36:42,701 --> 00:36:46,770
not from them
people, you know

595
00:36:46,772 --> 00:36:50,207
[sniffles]

596
00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:53,109
It's okay.
Leave it alone.

597
00:36:53,111 --> 00:36:54,878
It's not your job
be strong.

598
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,880
It's not your job to feel it
something special

599
00:36:56,882 --> 00:36:59,516
Anything
You feel good.

600
00:36:59,518 --> 00:37:01,518
It's okay.
Leave it alone.
Yes, right.

601
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,420
This happens
That's good.

602
00:37:03,422 --> 00:37:05,155
Here it is.
There he is.

603
00:37:05,157 --> 00:37:06,890
Let--
remove everything.

604
00:37:06,892 --> 00:37:08,758
Leave it alone.
This is good.

605
00:37:42,561 --> 00:37:45,362
This is so cool,

606
00:37:45,364 --> 00:37:47,664
and the fat doesn't
hang out from this -

607
00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:50,166
I mean, I can't even
lift my arm, but--

608
00:37:50,168 --> 00:37:51,534
I'm like--

609
00:37:51,536 --> 00:37:53,637
I'm talking
about chest
No.

610
00:37:53,639 --> 00:37:55,138
Of course there are
items here

611
00:37:55,140 --> 00:37:58,375
because we are tied
so tightly, but--

612
00:37:58,377 --> 00:38:00,310
Uh huh.

613
00:38:02,881 --> 00:38:06,116
Start getting
in a lot of pain

614
00:38:06,118 --> 00:38:09,185
Ah!
Do not do it.

615
00:38:09,187 --> 00:38:11,254
To be honest I didn't expect that
to hurt this much...

616
00:38:11,256 --> 00:38:12,689
3 1/2.
neither do I.

617
00:38:12,691 --> 00:38:14,491
but that's because no
says something about it

618
00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:15,925
People like,
"It will hurt,

619
00:38:15,927 --> 00:38:17,761
but most
like--"

620
00:38:17,763 --> 00:38:19,496
Do you know what I mean?

621
00:38:19,498 --> 00:38:20,997
I know it will hurt,
but I don't know

622
00:38:20,999 --> 00:38:22,299
it will be fair
Be like--

623
00:38:22,301 --> 00:38:24,968
Yesterday
was terrible

624
00:38:24,970 --> 00:38:27,170
I am very happy I am not
remember most

625
00:38:27,172 --> 00:38:29,005
I remember being
in a car and being like,

626
00:38:29,007 --> 00:38:31,174
"I am very frustrated,"
and with great pain

627
00:38:31,176 --> 00:38:33,076
that I feel like I just want to kick and scream

628
00:38:33,078 --> 00:38:36,246
and cry and spit.

629
00:38:36,248 --> 00:38:39,416
Yes.
We must
go bowling.

630
00:38:47,693 --> 00:38:49,693
Hello.
Hi, how are you?

631
00:38:49,695 --> 00:38:51,528
Good.
How are you?
I am fine.

632
00:38:51,530 --> 00:38:53,263
I am a little
sick.

633
00:38:53,265 --> 00:38:55,465
I am sure of you.
Yes, but -

634
00:38:55,467 --> 00:38:57,667
What is happening?
Look at you.

635
00:38:57,669 --> 00:38:59,703
Yes.
Standing
very fast

636
00:38:59,705 --> 00:39:01,438
Oh, buddy.

637
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:02,839
Yes.
Yes.

638
00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:04,674
Hi, Joe.
Oh, hi.

639
00:39:04,676 --> 00:39:06,443
This is Bailey.
Hi, Bailey.

640
00:39:06,445 --> 00:39:07,811
This is
Mrs. Ben

641
00:39:07,813 --> 00:39:09,012
Hi, mother

642
00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:10,280
I'm just being
a buttinsky

643
00:39:10,282 --> 00:39:11,881
and enter
to say hello

644
00:39:11,883 --> 00:39:13,283
Oh my God, it's very funny  He is amazing.
I thought I woke him up.

645
00:39:13,285 --> 00:39:16,052
I've been emotional -
Shh!

646
00:39:16,054 --> 00:39:17,921


647
00:39:17,923 --> 00:39:19,356
Oh
I have
an emot -

648
00:39:19,358 --> 00:39:20,990
No. I just said that
because it's not right  Oh, I've become an emotional roller coaster,

649
00:39:20,992 --> 00:39:23,493
but--
Joe: My mother too.

650
00:39:23,495 --> 00:39:25,462
Yes.
He is simple,

651
00:39:25,464 --> 00:39:27,931
but he already
really, really amazing

652
00:39:27,933 --> 00:39:29,632
I wake it up
every 3 hours

653
00:39:29,634 --> 00:39:31,634
He is happy
To help me

654
00:39:31,636 --> 00:39:33,737
and just really
sweet all the time,

655
00:39:33,739 --> 00:39:36,606
and, like, above that,
I know it's hard for him,

656
00:39:36,608 --> 00:39:39,743
So, you know, he has already been very strong and useful,

657
00:39:39,745 --> 00:39:44,614
though
That's not what he wants

658
00:39:44,616 --> 00:39:47,117
maybe better
do it.

659
00:39:47,119 --> 00:39:49,018


660
00:39:49,020 --> 00:39:51,321
I will make you posted
as something changes

661
00:39:51,323 --> 00:39:53,490
and bandages can
take off and others,

662
00:39:53,492 --> 00:39:54,924
Yes.

663
00:39:54,926 --> 00:39:57,327
and I look forward
to see you directly

664
00:39:57,329 --> 00:39:59,496
come Februaryish

665
00:39:59,498 --> 00:40:02,499
I love you
I am happy for you.

666
00:40:02,501 --> 00:40:04,501
Oh, we love you too.
Thank you very much, Joe.

667
00:40:04,503 --> 00:40:07,103
This is impossible
happens without you

668
00:40:29,261 --> 00:40:32,095
Women: Not only masculinity
because some critics say,

669
00:40:32,097 --> 00:40:34,731
"Okay, it's
masculine for all time,"

670
00:40:34,733 --> 00:40:37,600
You know, but he's talking
about hypermasculinity

671
00:40:37,602 --> 00:40:41,671
contribute to sexual assault,
murder...

672
00:40:41,673 --> 00:40:43,406
Woman: Even
is just a road rage

673
00:40:43,408 --> 00:40:45,875
... even just road rage.

674
00:40:45,877 --> 00:40:48,578
Right.
There are not only
those two narrow categories

675
00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:50,480
of what should
match,

676
00:40:50,482 --> 00:40:52,515
but we also know
that there is a hierarchy, right,

677
00:40:52,517 --> 00:40:54,017
and one of them
is rated more.

678
00:40:54,019 --> 00:40:57,253
Masculinity is considered more
in our society, right,

679
00:40:57,255 --> 00:40:59,222
so if you are more suitable
into that box--

680
00:40:59,224 --> 00:41:01,458
and I really think
the easiest example

681
00:41:01,460 --> 00:41:03,993
is to think of young girls
who is tomboy, right,

682
00:41:03,995 --> 00:41:05,595
that we talked about,

683
00:41:05,597 --> 00:41:08,631
ways that are more acceptable
than alternatives, right?

684
00:41:08,633 --> 00:41:12,068
OK.
Happy weekend.
Thank you.

685
00:41:12,070 --> 00:41:14,137
Woman:
Thank you.

686
00:41:42,701 --> 00:41:46,536
Ben, voice over: It's hard to get Joe to keep up lately.

687
00:41:46,538 --> 00:41:49,072
There is one message
that he sent me saying,

688
00:41:49,074 --> 00:41:50,940
"Things have happened
are a little crazy,

689
00:41:50,942 --> 00:41:53,009
hoping to get out of there soon."

690
00:41:53,011 --> 00:41:54,477
That's very vague...

691
00:41:57,148 --> 00:42:00,783
so I honestly don't know
where he is in...

692
00:42:02,454 --> 00:42:06,956
But it takes it a little
a little more to get back to me.

693
00:42:21,706 --> 00:42:23,706
Joe, voice over:
I had a wonderful day

694
00:42:23,708 --> 00:42:25,708
with my friend, which I usually party with,

695
00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:30,880
and it's beautiful outside,
and I want to smoke a few pans,

696
00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:33,349
so I smoke a few pots,
and then I like,

697
00:42:33,351 --> 00:42:35,485
"Let's go have a beer"...

698
00:42:39,057 --> 00:42:41,224
and I go home,
and I go to bed,

699
00:42:41,226 --> 00:42:43,726
and I wake up,
and I like,

700
00:42:43,728 --> 00:42:45,828
"Okay, so I did that,"

701
00:42:45,830 --> 00:42:49,999
and now feels
like warp time.

702
00:42:50,001 --> 00:42:52,869
[kerat spatula]

703
00:42:57,242 --> 00:42:59,943
I get my first DUI,

704
00:42:59,945 --> 00:43:02,145
spend a night in prison

705
00:43:04,816 --> 00:43:07,183
I hope everything is better.

706
00:43:15,226 --> 00:43:17,193
Joe?
What?

707
00:43:19,431 --> 00:43:21,564
Good morning.

708
00:43:21,566 --> 00:43:23,199
Ohh!
Ha ha!

709
00:43:24,669 --> 00:43:26,603
Ahh...
Hey.

710
00:43:26,605 --> 00:43:28,104
Aah!
Ha ha ha!

711
00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:30,640
Let me see.

712
00:43:30,642 --> 00:43:32,775
Crazy.

713
00:43:34,379 --> 00:43:36,546
My cute, a little
nickel nipples

714
00:43:36,548 --> 00:43:38,314
I know?
Small nipples

715
00:43:38,316 --> 00:43:40,817
[Acoustic Guitar
and banjo playing]

716
00:43:57,068 --> 00:43:58,601
[playing 7 notes]

717
00:43:58,603 --> 00:44:00,370
Eh...

718
00:44:29,534 --> 00:44:32,168
Ben, voice over: Become that
He is very excited

719
00:44:32,170 --> 00:44:35,638
in my life,
I just want him to be fine.

720
00:44:36,675 --> 00:44:39,375
There is something

721
00:44:39,377 --> 00:44:42,345
that needs to be answered.

722
00:44:45,083 --> 00:44:47,884
I just hope he doesn't do it

723
00:44:47,886 --> 00:44:50,153
in pain

724
00:44:50,155 --> 00:44:53,956
before he found it
for himself.

725
00:45:09,207 --> 00:45:11,574
Ben: which one do you want to do?

726
00:45:11,576 --> 00:45:13,543
You must
do pumpkins

727
00:45:14,579 --> 00:45:17,647
Yes.
Bau
like Thanksgiving

728
00:45:19,718 --> 00:45:21,684
Wow.
His
is truly reliable

729
00:45:21,686 --> 00:45:23,686
I know.

730
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,334
My mother is baking
cake and decorating them.

731
00:45:38,336 --> 00:45:39,802
Mm-hmm.

732
00:45:39,804 --> 00:45:41,304
Are you - are you here?
for that last year

733
00:45:41,306 --> 00:45:42,905
Uh-eh.
Oh.

734
00:45:42,907 --> 00:45:44,273
Well, it should be like this
do this year

735
00:45:44,275 --> 00:45:45,441
This is very fun.

736
00:45:45,443 --> 00:45:46,709
He continues on
Christmas music and -

737
00:45:46,711 --> 00:45:48,444
[cellphone flicker]

738
00:45:48,446 --> 00:45:49,779
My sister just said...

739
00:45:49,781 --> 00:45:51,047
[clears throat]

740
00:45:51,049 --> 00:45:53,382
"You are very focused
to be" you "

741
00:45:53,384 --> 00:45:55,685
" find yourself,
all that [sleep],

742
00:45:55,687 --> 00:45:57,386
"I don't think
you understand

743
00:45:57,388 --> 00:45:59,455
"that some people have never
actually found themselves,

744
00:45:59,457 --> 00:46:01,224
" and they turned out
All right.

745
00:46:01,226 --> 00:46:03,059
"You want to be stuck
in this case immature,

746
00:46:03,061 --> 00:46:05,661
" I don't give [bleep]
about what other people think "stage.

747
00:46:05,663 --> 00:46:07,230
" It's off-putting,
and I don't want

748
00:46:07,232 --> 00:46:09,031
to be associated with
someone like that. "

749
00:46:09,033 --> 00:46:10,633
That's
literally so far

750
00:46:10,635 --> 00:46:15,538
from me
that experience--

751
00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:29,118
How long is this pie?
need to get in there?

752
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,854
Dylan: Until we
it smells burning

753
00:46:34,025 --> 00:46:35,892
GOOD.
I will call my father
and tell him that we have...

754
00:46:35,894 --> 00:46:37,059
[clears throat]

755
00:46:37,061 --> 00:46:40,062
make pie and can
I bring one more

756
00:46:40,064 --> 00:46:42,465
for dessert.

757
00:46:44,202 --> 00:46:45,902
I will come
take a meal

758
00:46:45,904 --> 00:46:48,137
and say hi to you two
and spend a little

759
00:46:48,139 --> 00:46:50,173
from time with you
and Kimmy

760
00:46:50,175 --> 00:46:53,242
and Chelsea
and Christina.

761
00:46:54,579 --> 00:46:56,279
GOOD.
Forget it.

762
00:46:56,281 --> 00:46:58,281
I just think so
what are you asking

763
00:46:58,283 --> 00:47:00,716
I think that's what you want.
Forget it.

764
00:47:02,554 --> 00:47:05,788
I will not come
, Daddy

765
00:47:05,790 --> 00:47:07,557
GOOD.
Good,
do you know what?

766
00:47:07,559 --> 00:47:10,459
I'm sorry, and
I'm really sorry

767
00:47:10,461 --> 00:47:12,461
try to come
get away

768
00:47:12,463 --> 00:47:15,264
to come and see your
, be -

769
00:47:15,266 --> 00:47:17,433
I'm not mad at you.
I'm not angry at you.

770
00:47:17,435 --> 00:47:20,536
I'm just literally
telling you that this -

771
00:47:20,538 --> 00:47:24,507
Plans change.
Sorry.
Do not intend to impose.

772
00:47:27,579 --> 00:47:29,946
I really don't
know what to say

773
00:47:29,948 --> 00:47:33,082
I am not interested
in arguing with you

774
00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:34,917
Because I'm not
interested -

775
00:47:34,919 --> 00:47:37,954
I apologize that I -

776
00:47:37,956 --> 00:47:40,656
OK.
Happy Thanksgiving.

777
00:47:44,162 --> 00:47:48,764
My family [bidur],
Dude.
I just--

778
00:47:51,135 --> 00:47:52,635
Happy Thanksgiving.

779
00:47:52,637 --> 00:47:54,570
Oh yeah.
Happy Thanksgiving.

780
00:47:54,572 --> 00:47:56,639
[gulping]

781
00:47:56,641 --> 00:47:58,474
Um...

782
00:47:59,844 --> 00:48:01,911
I keep trying to be
angry with my family

783
00:48:01,913 --> 00:48:04,447
to be,
like, broken,

784
00:48:04,449 --> 00:48:07,683
but I'm really
Good Thanksgiving

785
00:48:07,685 --> 00:48:10,286
Yes.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

786
00:48:12,257 --> 00:48:16,559
You know, ohh...

787
00:48:22,233 --> 00:48:24,500
Man, they see
very well.

788
00:48:24,502 --> 00:48:26,469
Dylan, smile
with pie.

789
00:48:26,471 --> 00:48:28,404
1, 2, 3.

790
00:48:28,406 --> 00:48:31,908
Very good.
This is it.

791
00:48:37,282 --> 00:48:38,447
Suzy: is that
deviled egg?

792
00:48:38,449 --> 00:48:39,949
Yes.
Ohh...

793
00:48:39,951 --> 00:48:42,018
Joe: yes
Mother...
Ha ha ha!

794
00:48:42,020 --> 00:48:44,487
My deviled egg
is very good

795
00:48:44,489 --> 00:48:45,721
They belong to my mother.

796
00:48:45,723 --> 00:48:47,723
Oh, they are beautiful.

797
00:48:47,725 --> 00:48:49,892
Um, yes.

798
00:48:49,894 --> 00:48:54,297
This one will let me
do pretty much everything  I mean, I put it
in skirts and dresses,

799
00:48:54,299 --> 00:48:56,198
but what I love is,
he wants to wear pants,

800
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:59,302
and that's funny
Things I remember.

801
00:48:59,304 --> 00:49:01,337
Idol
Katherine Hepburn,

802
00:49:01,339 --> 00:49:04,140
and I think,
"I like that.

803
00:49:04,142 --> 00:49:06,442
I like that."

804
00:49:06,444 --> 00:49:08,177
Suzy: He said, "I'm gay,"
and I said,

805
00:49:08,179 --> 00:49:10,279
"Of course
you are."

806
00:49:10,281 --> 00:49:12,548
I say, "Thank God.

807
00:49:12,550 --> 00:49:15,418
I think you will tell me
You are transgender."

808
00:49:15,420 --> 00:49:18,721
Lynn:
You know that!

809
00:49:18,723 --> 00:49:20,489
Well, because
I watch Oprah,

810
00:49:20,491 --> 00:49:22,925
or what, and...

811
00:49:22,927 --> 00:49:25,127


812
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:26,862
[laughter]

813
00:49:26,864 --> 00:49:28,931
Ben: for me when I come
out, not like--

814
00:49:28,933 --> 00:49:30,399
I mean, there are
parts of me

815
00:49:30,401 --> 00:49:31,734
Like, like,
there is a relief

816
00:49:31,736 --> 00:49:32,969
where I like,
"I found it."

817
00:49:32,971 --> 00:49:34,103
Joe: "Oh, God,
I know what it is."

818
00:49:34,105 --> 00:49:35,438
Yes.
"Finally I
find it,"

819
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:37,506
but then it's
almost like

820
00:49:37,508 --> 00:49:40,643
open the door
everywhere

821
00:49:40,645 --> 00:49:43,045
There are only
jobs to do

822
00:49:49,988 --> 00:49:52,388
Last couple
years, I'm right

823
00:49:52,390 --> 00:49:54,090
spend time trying
to find the answer

824
00:49:54,092 --> 00:49:56,892
about who I am
and what that means

825
00:49:56,894 --> 00:49:59,195
and how gender
is involved in that,

826
00:49:59,197 --> 00:50:01,263
and now I'm
not sure I know

827
00:50:01,265 --> 00:50:03,265
more than that
I started with,

828
00:50:03,267 --> 00:50:05,267
but I'm happier,

829
00:50:05,269 --> 00:50:07,837
so I think
means something

830
00:50:19,317 --> 00:50:21,650
I think
My parents, like,

831
00:50:21,652 --> 00:50:23,185
Even at this time,
they want to be like,

832
00:50:23,187 --> 00:50:24,553
"You are great.
You are trans

833
00:50:24,555 --> 00:50:26,389
You are a boy
You are great."

834
00:50:26,391 --> 00:50:28,224
And for me, like,
I still have

835
00:50:28,226 --> 00:50:31,127
so much baggage,
like, and no,

836
00:50:31,129 --> 00:50:33,095
like, bad luggage

837
00:50:33,097 --> 00:50:35,097
It's just, like,
I will need

838
00:50:35,099 --> 00:50:38,067
to do work,
like, heal myself

839
00:50:38,069 --> 00:50:40,970
of how painful this
has been, you know

840
00:50:40,972 --> 00:50:43,105
Right.
I know,
and so many,

841
00:50:43,107 --> 00:50:44,940
You know, there are,
like, body parts,

842
00:50:44,942 --> 00:50:46,342
of course, and then
there is a whole, like,

843
00:50:46,344 --> 00:50:48,377
social and mental
and emotional part,

844
00:50:48,379 --> 00:50:51,547
and that's the part
that is at least people

845
00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:54,283
outside
don't see much

846
00:51:08,032 --> 00:51:10,199
You have, like...
Yes.

847
00:51:10,201 --> 00:51:12,568
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

848
00:51:15,907 --> 00:51:18,307
Hey, Joe, check
who's working

849
00:51:18,309 --> 00:51:21,877
at the merch
section to make shirts.

850
00:51:21,879 --> 00:51:23,946
This is my mother.
Hey there.

851
00:51:23,948 --> 00:51:27,516
Ha ha!
Looks good.

852
00:51:27,518 --> 00:51:30,119
See you again, buddy.

853
00:51:30,121 --> 00:51:33,589
I like to handle it
twice just because

854
00:51:33,591 --> 00:51:35,891
Alright, just drag it.

855
00:51:35,893 --> 00:51:38,761
Ah, look?
I was there.

856
00:51:38,763 --> 00:51:41,330
Good work, Mom.

857
00:51:41,332 --> 00:51:44,333
[Playing acoustic guitar]

858
00:51:55,913 --> 00:51:58,114
[clears throat]

859
00:51:58,116 --> 00:52:01,684
♪ Mama, forgive me ♪

860
00:52:01,686 --> 00:52:04,120
♪ I don't mean
to make you cry ♪

861
00:52:04,122 --> 00:52:06,455
♪ I've tried
to say hello ♪

862
00:52:06,457 --> 00:52:09,058
♪ You think I
say goodbye ♪

863
00:52:09,060 --> 00:52:11,760
♪ I know
some things ♪

864
00:52:11,762 --> 00:52:14,563
♪ not for us
to decide ♪

865
00:52:14,565 --> 00:52:20,503
♪ I hope you think I'm
dead good ♪

866
00:52:28,713 --> 00:52:32,581
♪ Mama, I'm grateful ♪

867
00:52:32,583 --> 00:52:35,551
♪ That I got this
opportunity to rise ♪

868
00:52:35,553 --> 00:52:37,653
♪ To wake up
one more day ♪

869
00:52:37,655 --> 00:52:40,923
♪ And look at this world
with new eyes ♪

870
00:52:40,925 --> 00:52:46,262
♪ I know it's yours
love that gives me life ♪

871
00:52:46,264 --> 00:52:49,165
♪ I hope you are proud ♪

872
00:52:49,167 --> 00:52:52,801
♪ From how bright
I can shine ♪

873
00:52:56,040 --> 00:53:01,143
♪ Because of when
I look inside ♪

874
00:53:01,145 --> 00:53:06,882
♪ I can always see ♪

875
00:53:06,884 --> 00:53:11,287
♪ That child
in this world ♪

876
00:53:11,289 --> 00:53:17,960
♪ I know I'm
blessed to be ♪

877
00:53:20,264 --> 00:53:23,899
♪ This one is
for my family ♪

878
00:53:25,369 --> 00:53:29,238
♪ This one is
for my family ♪

879
00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:34,343
♪ This one is
for my family ♪

880
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:40,015
♪ This one is
for my family ♪

881
00:53:54,365 --> 00:53:57,766
♪ If the only truth you have
is that you are living a lie ♪

882
00:53:57,768 --> 00:53:59,468
♪ And if time
won't free pain ♪

883
00:53:59,470 --> 00:54:02,571
♪ You have held hostage
in your mind ♪

884
00:54:02,573 --> 00:54:06,609
♪ Fear of my love ♪

885
00:54:08,613 --> 00:54:10,512
♪ If your skin
your soul manifests ♪

886
00:54:10,514 --> 00:54:12,214
♪ Looks like
doesn't fit very well ♪

887
00:54:12,216 --> 00:54:17,319
♪ And you hate
what their god gave you ♪

888
00:54:17,321 --> 00:54:21,423
♪ Fear of my love ♪

889
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:29,732
♪ My love ♪

890
00:54:29,734 --> 00:54:33,068
♪ My love ♪

891
00:54:33,070 --> 00:54:34,503
[music ends]
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