1
00:00:33,650 --> 00:00:36,016
[Bryan Adams:
You've Been a Friend To Me]

2
00:02:20,957 --> 00:02:23,187
This walk is exactly
what you need.

3
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,990
You've been coiled up like a spring.
I don't even know who you are anymore.

4
00:02:26,029 --> 00:02:28,259
It's a big meeting, I'd think
you'd be a little nervous.

5
00:02:28,298 --> 00:02:31,233
I don't get nervous, Dan.
I get excited.

6
00:02:32,202 --> 00:02:34,170
Please don't tell the story.

7
00:02:34,204 --> 00:02:36,035
You're a people person,
Charlie, that's wonderful,

8
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,802
but in business meetings you tell
personal items from my life,

9
00:02:38,842 --> 00:02:41,709
- and it embarrasses me.
- Girls, girls, girls!

10
00:02:43,444 --> 00:02:45,475
Hey! 10 miles!

11
00:02:46,215 --> 00:02:48,245
I'm sorry, Lucky.

12
00:02:48,284 --> 00:02:51,151
I think he's too old for sprints.
I can hear his legs clicking.

13
00:02:51,187 --> 00:02:52,677
Those are my knees.

14
00:02:52,722 --> 00:02:55,452
Do you really think I tell
that story for my own amusement?

15
00:02:55,491 --> 00:02:57,550
I do it because it's a sales tool.

16
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,585
Charlie, let's win this account
on our pitch.

17
00:02:59,629 --> 00:03:01,460
It's sports marketing.
You need an edge.

18
00:03:01,497 --> 00:03:05,126
- I don't want to be the edge.
- Hey, mister! Little help!

19
00:03:05,168 --> 00:03:06,795
Sure thing, guys!

20
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:15,267
- Why did you do that?
- My bad! Sorry!

21
00:03:15,311 --> 00:03:18,109
- I didn't mean to.
- You're a monster!

22
00:03:18,147 --> 00:03:19,808
I'm sorry!

23
00:03:19,849 --> 00:03:21,612
You're allergic to anything
under 4 feet. You're a mess.

24
00:03:21,651 --> 00:03:24,620
- Promise you won't tell the story.
- Fine. I won't tell the story.

25
00:03:25,321 --> 00:03:28,290
OK, you guys want to hear
the greatest Dan Rayburn story ever?

26
00:03:28,324 --> 00:03:30,417
- No, don't.
- Please. Come on, Danny.

27
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:33,429
All right. 7 years ago,
Dan's divorce had just come through

28
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,693
and his ex-wife had
left his heart in tatters.

29
00:03:35,732 --> 00:03:38,462
And his bank account drained.
Tell them that.

30
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:41,095
He was taking it pretty well.

31
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,662
That's good.
You're taking it like a man!

32
00:03:43,706 --> 00:03:46,402
Stiff upper lip! Getting smart!

33
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,877
- What?
- God!

34
00:03:49,913 --> 00:03:52,074
People say I saved
my partner's life that day.

35
00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:55,580
So many people get divorced.

36
00:03:56,019 --> 00:03:59,284
And neither one of you wanted kids.
Now that seems like a stroke of genius!

37
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:02,621
But that didn't console him.
I had to act. I had to do something.

38
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:06,117
Mr. Good Time is going to
teach you how to live! Yeah!

39
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:09,757
- Why are there 2 pieces of luggage?
- Just a little jaunt.

40
00:04:11,067 --> 00:04:12,762
Nothing too wild.

41
00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:18,400
Hey, Mr. Good Times.
You said we'd come to Miami, we did.

42
00:04:18,441 --> 00:04:19,499
Can we go home now?

43
00:04:21,711 --> 00:04:22,878
Yeah!

44
00:04:22,912 --> 00:04:24,504
Does this drink
come with a diving board?

45
00:04:24,547 --> 00:04:26,811
It's insane! Just a sip, I think.

46
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:29,477
So as a best friend, I felt compelled

47
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,181
to give him a gentle reminder
of what it was like to be free.

48
00:04:32,922 --> 00:04:35,584
- I want it to say: "free man!"
- Free man.

49
00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:37,024
Big letters, right across his chest.

50
00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:39,028
"Free man!" Comprende?

51
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:43,192
Good night, nurse.

52
00:04:45,234 --> 00:04:47,031
I could have sworn
that guy spoke English.

53
00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:49,073
It was supposed to say "free man."

54
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,806
Fremont, Fremont, Fremont...

55
00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:55,308
Free man!

56
00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:03,143
It's funny, guys.
Come on. They love it.

57
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:05,612
Then the unexpected happened.

58
00:05:05,655 --> 00:05:09,091
Look at all the babes.
Don't look, don't look. Now look.

59
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:11,252
14 hours after
signing his divorce papers,

60
00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:13,956
Dan met Vicki, the girl of his dreams.

61
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,199
Girl in white, 11 o'clock.

62
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,724
- Yeah, but...
- Give her the Queen's wave.

63
00:05:19,769 --> 00:05:22,203
- No, the other Queen.
- Hello.

64
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:23,899
She was traveling with a friend.

65
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:26,704
I thought maybe the friend
was a magician or a jazz dancer,

66
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,301
because of the way
she was moving her hands.

67
00:05:28,344 --> 00:05:30,209
T urns out she's a hand model.

68
00:05:30,446 --> 00:05:32,544
- ...hand model.
- A hand model?

69
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,981
They model with their hands.

70
00:05:35,451 --> 00:05:37,578
So, within minutes,
Dan is back to his old self.

71
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:41,056
No, scratch that.
He's better than his old self.

72
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,557
Charlie, look at these pictures!

73
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,322
My whole life I've never taken
a good picture.

74
00:05:45,361 --> 00:05:48,296
<i>* No matter how
they toss the dice, it had to be</i>

75
00:05:48,331 --> 00:05:49,730
I'd never seen him so free, OK?

76
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,064
I mean, so impulsive.
He was a changed man.

77
00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:56,565
Or maybe not so changed.

78
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,575
It's hard to explain to a guy
who's never had an impulsive moment

79
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:02,077
in his life there's
2 kinds of impulsives.

80
00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:05,046
The good kind, OK,
but this is plain stupid!

81
00:06:06,549 --> 00:06:08,278
That was so romantic.

82
00:06:11,387 --> 00:06:15,983
But when he woke up, he remembered,
"I was just married 14 painful years

83
00:06:16,025 --> 00:06:18,016
and I've gone and done it again!"

84
00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:21,608
To a woman that he barely knows.

85
00:06:21,761 --> 00:06:23,458
His "soul mate."

86
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:27,432
-Soul mate.
- Soul mate!

87
00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:31,067
Soul mate!

88
00:06:36,579 --> 00:06:38,444
They never laugh this much.

89
00:06:39,782 --> 00:06:43,309
So, a few hours later,
my buddy here, my hombre,

90
00:06:43,352 --> 00:06:47,186
is the only guy I know that's been
divorced twice in a 24-hour period.

91
00:06:47,223 --> 00:06:49,717
Now, that's a true story.

92
00:06:51,761 --> 00:06:55,424
Fremont! Fremont! Fremont!

93
00:06:58,868 --> 00:07:02,827
- It was supposed to say "free man."
- But it didn't. It said "Fremont."

94
00:07:02,872 --> 00:07:05,397
It's a big mistake.
It's on his chest forever.

95
00:07:05,441 --> 00:07:08,200
I don't really think that story honors

96
00:07:08,541 --> 00:07:10,570
the feelings I had for her.

97
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:13,811
No, I'm sorry.
Dan, people love that story.

98
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:18,082
So just get up there and do
your thing. Because I killed.

99
00:07:18,121 --> 00:07:19,247
Banzai!

100
00:07:19,688 --> 00:07:21,552
Ixnay on the banzai.

101
00:07:21,891 --> 00:07:23,388
Nishamura Media Group

102
00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:26,520
entering the US sports market
is a huge deal.

103
00:07:26,562 --> 00:07:29,224
Now, I know you've met
with larger groups,

104
00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:33,895
but I'm about to show you
why working with a boutique firm

105
00:07:33,936 --> 00:07:37,895
run by 2 seasoned pros
is a smart move for you.

106
00:07:39,642 --> 00:07:42,133
47 million dollars over 5 years.

107
00:07:42,178 --> 00:07:44,669
Man, you better shape up
on your Japanese,

108
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,204
'cause you're going to Tokyo, baby!

109
00:07:46,249 --> 00:07:48,877
Thank you. This is the kind of
opportunity I've been looking for.

110
00:07:48,918 --> 00:07:52,445
And you will not be sorry.
In college my nickname was "GT '."

111
00:07:52,488 --> 00:07:56,356
- That's "Go To." You go to me.
- What's the matter with you?

112
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:59,122
Biggest deal of our lives
isn't exciting enough for you?

113
00:07:59,162 --> 00:08:02,222
So it's a done deal now?
There are a few small details.

114
00:08:02,265 --> 00:08:03,892
Like next week when Nishamura
and his son come to town

115
00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:05,400
we have to win them over
on the golf course.

116
00:08:05,434 --> 00:08:06,901
- That'll be easy.
- I'm great at golf.

117
00:08:06,936 --> 00:08:09,166
Then, 2 weeks from now,
we have to make a presentation

118
00:08:09,205 --> 00:08:11,366
- to their executive board of directors.
- Done.

119
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,500
All right, sunshine.
What's really wrong with you?

120
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:17,072
I was not divorced twice, OK?

121
00:08:17,113 --> 00:08:18,876
One of them was an annulment.

122
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,475
- Look at that face!
- Charlie, don't!

123
00:08:21,517 --> 00:08:23,382
Look at this, Craig.
You know what this face is?

124
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:25,410
- The face of a winner.
- This face is willing to hibernate

125
00:08:25,454 --> 00:08:28,321
for 6 months to make the
best deal he could possibly make.

126
00:08:28,357 --> 00:08:31,986
And I don't care who knows it. A toast
to my best buddy and business partner,

127
00:08:32,028 --> 00:08:33,525
Dan Rayburn!

128
00:08:33,863 --> 00:08:35,263
Arigato!

129
00:08:42,972 --> 00:08:44,234
It all comes down to this.

130
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,740
- I don't think so.
- 3, 2, 1.

131
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,367
This one's the shooter.

132
00:08:47,410 --> 00:08:48,672
- Let's see it.
- Golden moment.

133
00:08:50,379 --> 00:08:51,744
You're just sinkin' em.

134
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,578
My gosh!

135
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,675
Let's hit it. There you go.

136
00:08:55,718 --> 00:08:57,185
- It's a leaking dog.
- Yeah.

137
00:08:57,220 --> 00:09:00,986
That's a... That's a neat trick.
How old is that dog?

138
00:09:01,023 --> 00:09:03,514
I lost count. Vet said it was a record.

139
00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:06,289
You might want to put
a diaper on him, or underwear.

140
00:09:07,396 --> 00:09:10,194
- Yo.
- Hey. Where you been?

141
00:09:10,233 --> 00:09:12,758
Japanese real estate agents.
Some apartments for Craig-san.

142
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,827
Thank you. I just want to find
something authentic.

143
00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:16,929
I've been getting so immersed
in Japanese culture,

144
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,441
by the time I hit Tokyo, they're
going to think I'm part Japanese.

145
00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:21,636
They'll be like, "Who is this local?"

146
00:09:21,677 --> 00:09:25,340
I don't care if you stay on the top
of Mount Fuji. Just bring home the yen.

147
00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:28,077
- This can't be.
- What do you got?

148
00:09:29,118 --> 00:09:30,813
- Vicki.
- Vicki who?

149
00:09:30,853 --> 00:09:33,048
South Beach Vicki? She's in town.

150
00:09:33,089 --> 00:09:37,048
- She wants to see me. Today.
- She just called you out of the blue?

151
00:09:38,127 --> 00:09:39,992
- No.
- Dan? Dan?

152
00:09:40,029 --> 00:09:42,827
You know last Christmas
when I moved in to the condo?

153
00:09:42,865 --> 00:09:45,356
I was feeling really lonely.

154
00:09:45,401 --> 00:09:47,733
And maybe I wrote a 7-to-10-page
single-spaced letter.

155
00:09:48,070 --> 00:09:49,300
Dan.

156
00:09:50,039 --> 00:09:52,064
You've been using your feelings
for this woman

157
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:53,575
to avoid your life for 7 years.

158
00:09:53,609 --> 00:09:57,705
I set you up in the most exclusive
adult-only condo.

159
00:09:57,747 --> 00:09:59,214
You've never been to theme nights.

160
00:09:59,248 --> 00:10:02,217
You never once went to the
Sunday morning schmooze and schmeer.

161
00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:04,481
You know, maybe she hasn't
moved on either.

162
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,010
- Well, you can't do it.
- Why?

163
00:10:06,055 --> 00:10:08,216
Because we're in the middle
of our biggest deal ever,

164
00:10:08,257 --> 00:10:09,349
and you don't have the time.

165
00:10:09,392 --> 00:10:12,589
She lives in Vermont. It's perfect.
Start of a long-distance relationship.

166
00:10:12,628 --> 00:10:14,926
You get 6 to 9 months
of the spa weekends,

167
00:10:14,964 --> 00:10:17,432
late-night phone calls.
I'd still have my days free to work.

168
00:10:17,466 --> 00:10:19,127
She wants to meet me
at Grand Central Station,

169
00:10:19,168 --> 00:10:20,533
and I don't know what
I'm supposed to wear.

170
00:10:20,569 --> 00:10:23,094
It's not formal, obviously,
it's a train station,

171
00:10:23,139 --> 00:10:25,539
but do I wear a sport coat,
or coat and tie...

172
00:10:25,574 --> 00:10:27,474
You can wear a sports coat,
but you're not going like that.

173
00:10:27,510 --> 00:10:28,943
- Why?
- 'Cause you look like an albino.

174
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:35,650
This is his first time, so you can see
his complexion is ghost-like.

175
00:10:35,685 --> 00:10:38,017
- What do you think of the El Tropical?
- Perfect beginner's tan.

176
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,715
- Great.
- Yeah. Let's go!

177
00:10:39,755 --> 00:10:41,279
- You all set?
- Yeah.

178
00:10:41,324 --> 00:10:46,227
- I'm ready. Alrighty, let's do this.
- so...

179
00:10:46,262 --> 00:10:49,891
Face forward, press the red button,
spray lasts 10 seconds.

180
00:10:49,932 --> 00:10:53,527
Keep your eyes closed and call me
on the intercom when you're done.

181
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:54,934
OK.

182
00:10:56,839 --> 00:11:01,367
Eyes closed. She wanted a golden god,
she's going to get one.

183
00:11:04,179 --> 00:11:05,811
HAL?

184
00:11:05,848 --> 00:11:09,648
I definitely think that the tan line
accentuates the look, don't you?

185
00:11:09,985 --> 00:11:11,243
Sexy.

186
00:11:11,287 --> 00:11:15,519
I'm gonna start now.

187
00:11:22,631 --> 00:11:25,498
[Perez Prado and His Orchestra:
Mambo No. 5]

188
00:11:29,138 --> 00:11:30,344
1...

189
00:11:31,540 --> 00:11:35,499
2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

190
00:11:35,544 --> 00:11:39,446
7. 8. 9. OK!

191
00:11:39,482 --> 00:11:40,915
Hello!

192
00:11:44,754 --> 00:11:45,982
I'm finished!

193
00:11:47,056 --> 00:11:48,580
Be there in a sec.

194
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:51,422
So, do you, like, really know Shaq?

195
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,519
- Whose numbers are those?
- My gosh.

196
00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:00,967
We have a problem here!

197
00:12:01,003 --> 00:12:05,269
- Shaq! Yeah, Charlie.
- It's not turning off!

198
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:08,174
- Tell him your name.
- Shaq? Hi, it's Kelly.

199
00:12:08,210 --> 00:12:09,438
Anybody out there?

200
00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,776
Do you remember me?
I went to one of your games.

201
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:12,838
Help!

202
00:12:12,882 --> 00:12:15,112
Yeah. I don't know who
you were playing against, but...

203
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,312
I have an emergency here!

204
00:12:17,353 --> 00:12:18,614
Help!

205
00:12:20,623 --> 00:12:23,217
Just relax. Be there in a sec.

206
00:12:23,259 --> 00:12:24,726
Help!

207
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,490
- A tanning emergency?
- Newbies.

208
00:12:29,031 --> 00:12:30,430
Keep the heat kind of medium...

209
00:12:31,934 --> 00:12:33,424
Throw a little bit of butter, and...

210
00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:55,056
<i>Westbound local
now arriving on track 2.</i>

211
00:12:55,090 --> 00:12:57,320
<i>Westbound local now arriving.</i>

212
00:13:05,835 --> 00:13:06,859
I'm from Hoboken.

213
00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:16,339
What am I, the United Nations?
This is crazy.

214
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,539
Look, Mom,
it's an Oompa-Loompa.

215
00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:20,811
I'm an Oompa-Loompa. I can't do this!

216
00:13:21,350 --> 00:13:23,978
- Excuse me...
- Dan?

217
00:13:25,754 --> 00:13:27,016
Vicki?

218
00:13:28,156 --> 00:13:30,048
Hey!

219
00:13:30,092 --> 00:13:32,060
- I mean, hi!
- Hi.

220
00:13:32,094 --> 00:13:34,961
Look at you! You're so tan.

221
00:13:34,997 --> 00:13:37,363
Yeah. Yeah.

222
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:40,960
Boca. Volleyball, and...
Look at you. You're hot!

223
00:13:41,003 --> 00:13:42,698
- Thanks, Tan.
- Dan.

224
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:45,298
- I mean, Dan.
- I'm Tan Dan.

225
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,710
I got us a table upstairs.

226
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:49,836
- Let's eat. Yeah.
- Shall we?

227
00:13:55,851 --> 00:13:57,216
Thank you.

228
00:14:01,557 --> 00:14:05,152
I really don't know where to start, Dan.
But...

229
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,620
I need to share it with...

230
00:14:08,664 --> 00:14:11,599
Stop... in the name of love.

231
00:14:13,536 --> 00:14:17,233
Look, 7 years ago,
we made magic happen.

232
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,366
But it was bad timing.

233
00:14:19,408 --> 00:14:23,606
Now, we'll take it super slow,
there'll be no outside distractions.

234
00:14:24,513 --> 00:14:28,313
Just us. I...

235
00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:32,150
I'm ready to put these back together.
All I need is your half.

236
00:14:32,187 --> 00:14:34,018
- I'm going to jail.
- What?

237
00:14:34,056 --> 00:14:36,422
Tomorrow. 2 weeks for trespassing.

238
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,892
- Why?
- A chemical company wanted

239
00:14:38,928 --> 00:14:42,159
to build a plant that would've
drained into a stream near my house.

240
00:14:42,197 --> 00:14:45,132
So I kind of chained myself
to a bulldozer

241
00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:46,657
and burned the blueprints to the plant.

242
00:14:46,702 --> 00:14:48,602
Look at you.
You're a political activist.

243
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:51,765
Well, I had ulterior motives.

244
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:54,742
- You're... Career politician?
- My kids.

245
00:14:54,777 --> 00:14:56,938
Zach and Emily play near that stream.

246
00:14:58,013 --> 00:14:59,605
Kids.

247
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:02,344
You know, I just never thought that...

248
00:15:02,384 --> 00:15:06,377
You... you'd be attached. But...

249
00:15:06,422 --> 00:15:08,720
Actually, I'm a single mom.

250
00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:10,849
You kidder!

251
00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:12,091
Twins!

252
00:15:13,228 --> 00:15:17,096
Yeah. They think I'm going
to a spa named Westford Farms.

253
00:15:19,134 --> 00:15:20,999
You remember my best friend,
Jenna, from South Beach.

254
00:15:21,036 --> 00:15:22,799
- Yeah.
- Yeah, the hand model.

255
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:25,204
They're staying with her.
She's like family.

256
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,835
You got so much going on, girl.
It just blows my mind.

257
00:15:28,877 --> 00:15:31,675
That's good, because there's
one other small detail.

258
00:15:31,714 --> 00:15:33,648
- What is it?
- Daddy!

259
00:15:38,954 --> 00:15:40,922
You guys weren't supposed
to be back for 45 minutes!

260
00:15:40,956 --> 00:15:42,583
I'm... Da... Da...

261
00:15:42,625 --> 00:15:45,321
Hey, look who's panicking again.

262
00:15:52,434 --> 00:15:54,163
He does not look good.
I'm calling the paramedics.

263
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,262
No! I'm OK.

264
00:15:59,108 --> 00:16:01,201
Guys, would you give us
a minute? Please.

265
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:17,307
Dan, I got your letter 6 months ago,
and I won't lie,

266
00:16:17,402 --> 00:16:18,817
it threw me for a loop.

267
00:16:18,861 --> 00:16:21,261
I was completely ready to go it alone.

268
00:16:22,264 --> 00:16:23,891
But here was this...

269
00:16:25,868 --> 00:16:30,396
12-page, single-spaced letter
from the father of my kids,

270
00:16:30,973 --> 00:16:33,999
and suddenly
I had to ask if I was being selfish.

271
00:16:34,610 --> 00:16:37,408
Then 3 weeks ago,
we were in Friday's for dinner,

272
00:16:37,446 --> 00:16:39,778
and Zach had to go to the bathroom,
and as I was taking him

273
00:16:39,815 --> 00:16:42,443
to the ladies' room
for the umpteenth time...

274
00:16:43,385 --> 00:16:45,979
I realized, he's never
even been in a men's room.

275
00:16:46,021 --> 00:16:49,957
- Really?
- My kids are 7. They have a father.

276
00:16:50,526 --> 00:16:53,757
So I thought, maybe it's time
they got to know who he is.

277
00:16:55,064 --> 00:16:57,405
I have to confess, I've...

278
00:16:57,904 --> 00:17:00,595
always been a little awkward
around children.

279
00:17:02,905 --> 00:17:06,341
But I guess, if they're your own,
it's a different ballgame.

280
00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:10,573
Well, we got a few hours to kill
while Jenna goes out on a hand audition.

281
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,739
- Let's find out.
- OK.

282
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,203
But first,

283
00:17:15,081 --> 00:17:18,413
what do you say
we get rid of that ridiculous tan?

284
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,285
I know a few family secrets.

285
00:17:20,322 --> 00:17:22,483
- You don't like it?
- I'm sorry, do you like it?

286
00:17:22,524 --> 00:17:24,651
- Not at all.
- OK.

287
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:28,386
- How's your face feel?
- Pretty much everything.

288
00:17:28,897 --> 00:17:31,127
- Come on, Dad!
- No.

289
00:17:31,166 --> 00:17:33,691
Not the spinning one.
That's a recipe for disaster.

290
00:17:33,736 --> 00:17:36,261
Hey, Dad? Want to see my
5 Favorite Food lists?

291
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,670
I'd love to, Z. Thanks.

292
00:17:37,706 --> 00:17:40,174
- Zach likes to make lists.
- I love lists.

293
00:17:40,209 --> 00:17:42,439
- Hot wings and milkshakes.
- Chocolate?

294
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:44,105
No, it gives me diarrhea.

295
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:48,310
I mean, stomach problems
and frequent gas-spasms.

296
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:50,215
I have to go to the bathroom.

297
00:17:50,252 --> 00:17:51,378
OK.

298
00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:53,115
Hang on. Can you watch Emily?

299
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:55,589
- Sure.
- I want to go to the men's room.

300
00:17:56,358 --> 00:17:57,416
With me?

301
00:17:58,560 --> 00:17:59,584
OK.

302
00:18:07,202 --> 00:18:10,535
You're pretty old. How come
you don't have any other kids?

303
00:18:10,572 --> 00:18:12,267
Well...

304
00:18:13,776 --> 00:18:15,334
Initially, it was kind of a...

305
00:18:15,377 --> 00:18:17,845
You do know where kids
come from, right?

306
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,849
- Yeah, sure.
- Can you tell me?

307
00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:25,883
Well...

308
00:18:26,421 --> 00:18:30,954
In nature, the male and
the female of the species,

309
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:36,562
in what some have called the
"dance of springtime," you know...

310
00:18:38,498 --> 00:18:40,193
It's complicated.

311
00:18:43,638 --> 00:18:45,368
Do I just stand here?

312
00:18:45,407 --> 00:18:47,272
My mom usually waits outside.

313
00:18:47,309 --> 00:18:49,368
I'll bet she does. I'm out of here.

314
00:18:55,818 --> 00:18:57,115
OK.

315
00:18:58,787 --> 00:19:00,878
- You're early.
- Hi, hon!

316
00:19:00,923 --> 00:19:02,982
I can do my hand cream later. Hi!

317
00:19:03,025 --> 00:19:04,424
- Hi, Aunt Jenna!
- Hi.

318
00:19:04,459 --> 00:19:07,485
Hi, Zach. Hello, Emily!

319
00:19:08,997 --> 00:19:10,506
I booked it!

320
00:19:11,099 --> 00:19:14,535
- I gotta go potty.
- All right. Lemonade inside!

321
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,060
- OK, I got them.
- I got the bags.

322
00:19:16,104 --> 00:19:18,004
- No, no, it's all right...
- No, please.

323
00:19:20,642 --> 00:19:22,906
No! I got it.

324
00:19:22,945 --> 00:19:24,435
OK, I got it.

325
00:19:24,479 --> 00:19:26,079
No, wait. No, please don't.

326
00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:30,648
- My God.
- Breathe! Breathe!

327
00:19:30,686 --> 00:19:32,176
Sorry!

328
00:19:40,195 --> 00:19:42,755
She's gonna be fine. She's a fighter.

329
00:19:42,798 --> 00:19:45,460
She looks good. You look good, hon.

330
00:19:49,204 --> 00:19:52,469
Can you hand me my cell phone?
I have to call my agent.

331
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,669
All right. Here we go. Here it is, hon.

332
00:19:58,547 --> 00:20:01,175
- Do you want help?
- No, no.

333
00:20:01,216 --> 00:20:03,013
I'm going to give you a minute.

334
00:20:04,152 --> 00:20:05,643
I'm so sorry.

335
00:20:11,859 --> 00:20:14,158
God! What am I gonna do?

336
00:20:14,196 --> 00:20:17,597
Come on, you're a great gal. You must
have plenty of friends you could call.

337
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:20,193
That I could trust
with my kids for 2 weeks?

338
00:20:20,235 --> 00:20:24,194
This is a disaster!
I don't have anybody else!

339
00:20:24,239 --> 00:20:27,367
That's not true.
No, no. You have me.

340
00:20:28,209 --> 00:20:30,378
I'll do it. I'll take the kids.

341
00:20:33,048 --> 00:20:34,072
I'll do it.

342
00:20:36,551 --> 00:20:38,485
- I will.
- Really?

343
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,215
Yeah.

344
00:20:41,155 --> 00:20:43,224
Hey, yeah, see?

345
00:20:43,858 --> 00:20:46,887
This is good.
This is a good thing.

346
00:20:50,699 --> 00:20:54,328
- Do you know anybody else?
- No, just me.

347
00:20:54,369 --> 00:20:57,133
[Free: All Right Now]

348
00:20:57,172 --> 00:21:00,300
And then suddenly,
you're supposed to take care of twins

349
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,810
when we have the biggest deal ever?
Dan!

350
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:06,302
I put their aunt in a halo for a month!
What am I supposed to do?

351
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,407
You're supposed to give them back!
They got 24 hours!

352
00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:10,384
- They'll find another baby-sitter!
- I can't give them back!

353
00:21:10,419 --> 00:21:12,717
They're my kids. It's not like puppies.
"Take them back."

354
00:21:12,754 --> 00:21:14,915
- Let's break it down. It's 2 weeks.
- OK.

355
00:21:14,957 --> 00:21:16,891
- Yeah.
- All right, let's see. We got...

356
00:21:16,925 --> 00:21:18,722
They sleep 10, 12 hours, right, a day?

357
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,421
- If you're lucky.
- You've got TV.

358
00:21:20,462 --> 00:21:23,898
You've got bathroom time.
You give them a lot of timeouts.

359
00:21:23,932 --> 00:21:24,956
You know what?

360
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,491
You're looking at about 90 minutes
of being a dad a day.

361
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:28,833
90 minutes?

362
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:30,701
It's a run-out-the-clock
situation, that's all.

363
00:21:30,739 --> 00:21:32,229
- It's not sudden death.
- You'll be fine.

364
00:21:32,774 --> 00:21:35,505
- We can do this.
- "We?" No, no.

365
00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:38,411
You are on Planet Dan now, baby.

366
00:21:38,447 --> 00:21:40,938
I'm down here on Earth,
just cheering you on.

367
00:21:40,983 --> 00:21:44,885
You started this, remember? You're
the one who took me down to Florida.

368
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,718
"Mr. Feel-good" is gonna
teach me how to live.

369
00:21:47,756 --> 00:21:51,248
I wasn't alone then,
I'm not gonna be alone now, OK?

370
00:21:51,293 --> 00:21:55,093
So, tomorrow morning, 7:30, I want you
outside your apartment ready to go.

371
00:21:55,130 --> 00:21:57,530
Because if I'm going to be
an old dad for 2 weeks,

372
00:21:57,566 --> 00:22:00,330
you're going to be "Uncle Charlie."

373
00:22:01,603 --> 00:22:03,628
Well, I don't want to
take care of the kids!

374
00:22:06,975 --> 00:22:10,069
For both of them, I've packed
enough clothes for every occasion.

375
00:22:10,112 --> 00:22:11,739
- That everything?
- Yeah.

376
00:22:12,180 --> 00:22:14,271
I can't believe I'm doing this.

377
00:22:14,316 --> 00:22:15,544
Me, too.

378
00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:18,052
Here's the number for
the poison control center.

379
00:22:18,086 --> 00:22:20,077
- Poison control?
- Do you need a list of poisons?

380
00:22:20,122 --> 00:22:21,987
No, I think most of them I know.

381
00:22:22,024 --> 00:22:24,686
I should have compiled a list
of commonly ingested poisons!

382
00:22:24,726 --> 00:22:27,058
I'm not going to poison our
children. They're in safe hands.

383
00:22:27,095 --> 00:22:28,528
- Have you ever been to a casino?
- No.

384
00:22:28,563 --> 00:22:30,394
- Have you ever seen the movie Casino?
- No.

385
00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:33,458
OK, there are only pay phones
in the common room,

386
00:22:33,502 --> 00:22:35,129
so I will call you on your cell phone.

387
00:22:35,170 --> 00:22:36,933
- OK.
- And no baby-sitters.

388
00:22:36,972 --> 00:22:39,941
Please, Dan.
They've gone 7 years without a dad.

389
00:22:39,975 --> 00:22:41,909
Promise me you will not
leave them with strangers.

390
00:22:41,943 --> 00:22:44,343
- No strangers. Check.
- Dan! Vicki!

391
00:22:44,379 --> 00:22:48,076
The kids have never seen
Friday the 13th, part 1 or 2!

392
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:50,107
- My God!
- He's kidding. He's a kidder.

393
00:22:50,152 --> 00:22:52,177
He was scared of
The Wizard of Oz. He's kidding.

394
00:22:52,220 --> 00:22:53,744
The monkeys got him nuts.

395
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:57,088
- And one more thing.
- I'm up for it.

396
00:22:57,125 --> 00:23:01,152
Well, Emily has kind of concocted
this idea that you're a superhero.

397
00:23:01,496 --> 00:23:02,754
Why?

398
00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:06,029
Well, it was her way of
explaining where you were,

399
00:23:06,068 --> 00:23:07,831
and it seemed harmless enough to me.

400
00:23:07,869 --> 00:23:10,565
- What are my powers?
- You can stop bullets and you can fly.

401
00:23:10,605 --> 00:23:13,233
- Bulletproof and flying.
- 1... 2... 3!

402
00:23:14,743 --> 00:23:16,438
- Gosh, I gotta go.
- OK.

403
00:23:18,146 --> 00:23:19,807
I'm going to miss them so much.

404
00:23:20,315 --> 00:23:21,339
OK...

405
00:23:22,117 --> 00:23:23,880
Promise me...

406
00:23:23,919 --> 00:23:27,980
You will devote every ounce of
your being to taking care of them, Dan.

407
00:23:28,023 --> 00:23:29,320
I promise.

408
00:23:29,357 --> 00:23:31,791
- Promise me.
- I promise.

409
00:23:34,029 --> 00:23:37,556
- So, you're not a superhero?
- Not at the present time.

410
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:41,864
Want to pick up the pace, Chachi?
We just got passed by a street sweeper.

411
00:23:41,903 --> 00:23:43,666
How about putting it in drive, grandma?

412
00:23:43,705 --> 00:23:46,833
There are babies on board!
Excuse me, kids.

413
00:23:56,284 --> 00:23:58,352
Who's up for
chocolate chip pancakes?

414
00:23:58,386 --> 00:24:00,946
- Me! Me!
- No chocolate chips for breakfast.

415
00:24:00,989 --> 00:24:03,549
- Why not?
- Kids crave limits. It's in the books.

416
00:24:03,592 --> 00:24:07,028
Hey everybody, let's kick this off
with some really healthy choices.

417
00:24:07,062 --> 00:24:08,495
How about the heartland granola?

418
00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:11,021
That's like nature's broom!
That's kind of wonderful.

419
00:24:11,066 --> 00:24:12,269
Hey!

420
00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:15,635
- Sorry.
- It's OK, Zach.

421
00:24:15,670 --> 00:24:17,501
- Here you go.
- It's an accident.

422
00:24:17,539 --> 00:24:19,700
That kind of thing happens.
You have nothing to worry about.

423
00:24:19,741 --> 00:24:21,936
- Hi there. How are you?
- Hi.

424
00:24:21,977 --> 00:24:24,105
- Good.
- Well, hello.

425
00:24:24,646 --> 00:24:27,342
- What's your name?
- Rochelle.

426
00:24:27,882 --> 00:24:29,874
Rochelle.

427
00:24:30,418 --> 00:24:33,751
Well, I didn't know they could
afford to hire supermodels here.

428
00:24:35,090 --> 00:24:38,253
Hey, Pops?
Isn't being a grandparent the best?

429
00:24:38,293 --> 00:24:40,090
I'm not a grandparent.

430
00:24:40,128 --> 00:24:43,928
My grandkids call me "Nub-Nub."
What do your grandkids call you?

431
00:24:43,965 --> 00:24:45,091
Nub-Nub's good.

432
00:24:45,133 --> 00:24:46,225
<i>Attention, Pamela's diners.</i>

433
00:24:46,268 --> 00:24:49,465
<i>We've just been informed we have
2 new members to the grandparents' club.</i>

434
00:24:52,974 --> 00:24:56,137
<i>* Hey! Seniors, seniors, seniors!
Enjoy the grand buffet!</i>

435
00:24:56,178 --> 00:24:58,942
<i>* Seniors, seniors, seniors!
We hope you're here to stay!</i>

436
00:24:58,980 --> 00:25:01,778
<i>* Seniors, seniors, seniors!
We like to make a fuss!</i>

437
00:25:01,816 --> 00:25:05,308
<i>* Seniors, seniors, seniors,
every tenth meal is</i>

438
00:25:05,353 --> 00:25:09,380
<i>* On us!</i>

439
00:25:09,424 --> 00:25:11,858
<i>- * Seniors, seniors, seniors...
- I'll be right back.</i>

440
00:25:13,195 --> 00:25:17,598
Rochelle, Rochelle... I don't know
what happened back there.

441
00:25:17,632 --> 00:25:19,463
Just a little too much
excitement for me.

442
00:25:20,802 --> 00:25:22,129
No.

443
00:25:22,470 --> 00:25:24,900
No, no.
This is just an accident.

444
00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:27,238
Don't worry. It's nothing
to be embarrassed about.

445
00:25:27,275 --> 00:25:29,368
- I'm not embarrassed.
- I'll get you something.

446
00:25:30,445 --> 00:25:32,777
It's a glass of water, that's all.

447
00:25:32,814 --> 00:25:34,839
One glass of water
gets my pump going, too.

448
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,920
Also, please tell them
we are very focused

449
00:25:40,956 --> 00:25:43,481
on the golf game with Mr. Nishamura.

450
00:25:45,060 --> 00:25:47,858
Write that on your resume?
"I pop bubble paper."

451
00:25:47,896 --> 00:25:51,332
- Would you handle them?
- We want to Xerox our butts.

452
00:25:51,366 --> 00:25:53,425
Will you excuse me for one moment?

453
00:25:53,468 --> 00:25:55,595
Get off there. I'm sorry, Dan.

454
00:25:55,637 --> 00:25:57,764
- What are you, a frat boy?
- I got your phone.

455
00:25:57,806 --> 00:26:00,206
- Timeout.
- Timeout.

456
00:26:00,242 --> 00:26:02,540
- Give that back! Yes.
- Keep-away? Are we doing this?

457
00:26:02,577 --> 00:26:05,205
Toss it to me, Emily!
Toss it to me!

458
00:26:06,081 --> 00:26:09,209
Your Japanese is so terrific.

459
00:26:09,251 --> 00:26:10,843
- You speak Japanese?
- Well, no.

460
00:26:10,885 --> 00:26:13,149
But I don't have to speak Japanese

461
00:26:13,188 --> 00:26:16,214
to see how beautiful
you are when you speak it.

462
00:26:16,258 --> 00:26:19,386
Don't go out there! Don't go out there!
Come back this way.

463
00:26:19,427 --> 00:26:23,386
- Yeah, I'm their favorite uncle.
- How old are they?

464
00:26:25,133 --> 00:26:27,659
How old do you think they are?

465
00:26:29,471 --> 00:26:33,840
- 7?
- 7! Yeah. You're good.

466
00:26:33,875 --> 00:26:35,809
- Fraternal twins?
- Is there any other kind?

467
00:26:39,447 --> 00:26:42,211
Jeez. When you're around
kids as much as I am,

468
00:26:42,250 --> 00:26:44,582
you got to develop a sense of humor.

469
00:26:44,619 --> 00:26:46,779
But it's rewarding, too.

470
00:26:47,956 --> 00:26:50,083
Do you like the beach,
"favorite uncle" Charlie?

471
00:26:50,125 --> 00:26:51,149
Love!

472
00:26:52,460 --> 00:26:54,587
Why don't you come
to Westport on Saturday.

473
00:26:54,629 --> 00:26:56,324
I'm going to meet some friends
at their beach house.

474
00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:57,991
You can even bring
your niece and nephew.

475
00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:01,366
Well, I just may do that,
"beautiful translator" Amanda.

476
00:27:04,005 --> 00:27:06,337
Go camping,
learn how to ride a 2-wheeler,

477
00:27:06,374 --> 00:27:10,435
my first pro baseball game,
refinish a deck and surfing.

478
00:27:10,478 --> 00:27:12,036
That's my Dad List.

479
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:16,016
That sounds great.
Pull up your hoods, OK?

480
00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:19,282
- Put these on, all right?
- Why?

481
00:27:19,321 --> 00:27:22,085
Technically, you're not supposed
to be here, let alone living here.

482
00:27:22,123 --> 00:27:24,284
But we're going to have
a lot of fun. Let's go.

483
00:27:31,166 --> 00:27:32,428
Dan?

484
00:27:32,867 --> 00:27:34,662
Betty. Hide! Go, go!

485
00:27:34,703 --> 00:27:36,728
- Dan, is that you?
- Hey, Betty!

486
00:27:36,771 --> 00:27:40,605
- Hi! You are looking good.
- You, too, baby.

487
00:27:41,642 --> 00:27:43,440
What's all that racket?

488
00:27:43,478 --> 00:27:45,844
I don't know. Maybe immigrants.
I'm not sure.

489
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,279
Raccoons, most likely.

490
00:27:47,315 --> 00:27:49,545
No... My God, I see kids!

491
00:27:49,584 --> 00:27:51,745
- No, these are my...
- I see kids!

492
00:27:55,423 --> 00:27:58,256
Why don't you put them in a hotel?
They would love room service.

493
00:27:58,293 --> 00:28:00,955
They'd also love a spa,
but we can't... Don't run! Careful!

494
00:28:00,995 --> 00:28:03,896
- Don't touch that!
- Easy. Slow down! No running!

495
00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:05,991
Watch out! A lot of expensive things...

496
00:28:06,034 --> 00:28:07,695
- Are you out of your mind?
- Why?

497
00:28:07,736 --> 00:28:08,794
Come on!

498
00:28:08,837 --> 00:28:11,101
Listen. You're the one
that forced me into that place.

499
00:28:11,139 --> 00:28:14,506
- I cajoled you, I cajoled you.
- Don't give me semantics.

500
00:28:14,542 --> 00:28:16,271
Look, they're going upstairs now!

501
00:28:17,879 --> 00:28:20,814
This is my crib, man!
This is where I get down.

502
00:28:20,849 --> 00:28:24,307
This is where I sink the 3 points.
This is where I throw the TD.

503
00:28:24,352 --> 00:28:26,547
This isn't for kids, man.

504
00:28:26,588 --> 00:28:29,853
Look, that pool out there,
that's got a 15-foot deep end.

505
00:28:29,891 --> 00:28:33,292
Look at this place! I got
pointy-edged furniture. I got...

506
00:28:33,328 --> 00:28:35,262
Those spears probably
still have poison on them.

507
00:28:35,296 --> 00:28:37,393
You don't want them in this house.

508
00:28:37,432 --> 00:28:39,900
I do not lead

509
00:28:39,952 --> 00:28:42,468
a child-safe life, man!

510
00:28:42,504 --> 00:28:44,768
It is not... not how I roll. You know?

511
00:28:44,806 --> 00:28:46,071
Charlie...

512
00:28:46,708 --> 00:28:49,199
- I'm barely treading water here.
- Don't...

513
00:28:49,244 --> 00:28:51,769
I don't know these kids very long,
but I'm still their dad.

514
00:28:51,813 --> 00:28:55,806
And they need a home. And so do I.

515
00:28:55,850 --> 00:28:58,148
Right now,
you're the closest thing we got.

516
00:29:05,260 --> 00:29:07,319
Thanks, bro. You're the best.

517
00:29:08,997 --> 00:29:11,693
OK. You went emotional and it paid off.

518
00:29:11,733 --> 00:29:13,667
- Good.
- This time.

519
00:29:13,701 --> 00:29:15,032
OK.

520
00:29:15,069 --> 00:29:17,902
[Brett Dennen: Make You Crazy]

521
00:29:18,439 --> 00:29:20,999
It's Vicki! Kids!

522
00:29:21,042 --> 00:29:24,170
Well, first everybody thought
Dad was our grandpa.

523
00:29:24,212 --> 00:29:27,841
Then he pretty much worked
the rest of the day.

524
00:29:27,882 --> 00:29:30,976
"Everything is fine."

525
00:29:31,019 --> 00:29:34,648
And he did say he was going to do
the first thing on Zach's Dad List.

526
00:29:34,689 --> 00:29:37,817
That sounds promising. See?
This is gonna be great.

527
00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:39,053
Here's Dad.

528
00:29:40,428 --> 00:29:42,521
Hey, Vic. Didn't she sound wonderful?

529
00:29:42,564 --> 00:29:44,896
- How's everything going?
- I'm OK.

530
00:29:44,933 --> 00:29:47,265
Don't you worry a moment
about how things are going here

531
00:29:47,302 --> 00:29:49,634
because everything's going great.

532
00:29:51,506 --> 00:29:55,033
OK, you guys... lights out.

533
00:29:56,211 --> 00:29:57,610
OK.

534
00:29:57,645 --> 00:30:00,205
Alrighty. There you go.

535
00:30:00,248 --> 00:30:03,274
- You have your creature? Good.
- I do.

536
00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:07,254
You OK?

537
00:30:09,157 --> 00:30:10,419
Good night.

538
00:30:36,417 --> 00:30:38,942
I just shook my daughter's hand
good night.

539
00:30:41,856 --> 00:30:43,585
I'm no good at this, Charlie.

540
00:30:43,625 --> 00:30:46,753
Come on. You're trying.
That's what matters.

541
00:30:46,794 --> 00:30:47,818
Thanks.

542
00:30:53,401 --> 00:30:55,198
They are cute, though.

543
00:30:55,236 --> 00:30:56,245
Yeah.

544
00:30:56,706 --> 00:31:00,435
They are when they're in a
dormant configuration.

545
00:31:12,286 --> 00:31:13,845
Look at this, Nick!

546
00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:24,424
- Ready for the other one?
- Don't get drill happy.

547
00:31:24,465 --> 00:31:26,194
No, no, no. It's all good.

548
00:31:26,734 --> 00:31:28,134
Hey!

549
00:31:30,171 --> 00:31:32,935
- What are you doing?
- Sir, it's cool.

550
00:31:32,974 --> 00:31:35,943
That's Nick and I'm Gary.
We're the childproofers.

551
00:31:35,977 --> 00:31:38,343
- Really?
- I'm going to need access

552
00:31:38,379 --> 00:31:40,939
to all your personal drawers and stuff.

553
00:31:40,982 --> 00:31:45,510
- Dan! Dan! Did you do this?
- Charlie!

554
00:31:45,553 --> 00:31:47,180
- Yeah.
- Did you bring them in?

555
00:31:47,221 --> 00:31:48,654
- Definitely.
- Why?

556
00:31:48,690 --> 00:31:51,022
You described this house as being
a dangerous place for kids,

557
00:31:51,059 --> 00:31:52,993
so I hired the best
childproofers there are.

558
00:31:53,027 --> 00:31:56,224
The tall guy over there,
he was a civil engineer.

559
00:31:56,264 --> 00:31:58,755
What kind of a civil engineer
would be baby-proofing a house?

560
00:32:02,270 --> 00:32:05,467
Failed one, sir,
I'm a failed civil engineer.

561
00:32:05,506 --> 00:32:09,499
I got a lot of bad road
behind me. Lot of potholes.

562
00:32:09,544 --> 00:32:12,638
That's why I'm going to be extra
vigilant in protecting your children.

563
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,477
They're 7. And they're his kids.

564
00:32:14,515 --> 00:32:16,312
- That's true.
- That's progressive,

565
00:32:16,351 --> 00:32:18,046
- and I'm all for it.
- Come on!

566
00:32:18,086 --> 00:32:21,988
Even I know you do not baby-proof
a house for 7-year-olds.

567
00:32:22,323 --> 00:32:24,184
What about the 15-foot deep end?

568
00:32:24,225 --> 00:32:26,750
Sir, you got a flamethrower
for a fireplace.

569
00:32:26,794 --> 00:32:29,228
- It's a fashion. It's a style.
- The spears?

570
00:32:29,263 --> 00:32:31,060
What guy buys poison-tipped spears?

571
00:32:31,099 --> 00:32:34,193
A thousand years ago they were poison.
I don't know if they're poison now.

572
00:32:34,235 --> 00:32:36,066
You bought those a thousand years ago?

573
00:32:36,104 --> 00:32:39,369
- Expect me to believe that?
- You designed this house of horrors.

574
00:32:39,407 --> 00:32:42,570
You brought the kids to this house.
Stop it! Don't eat that.

575
00:32:42,610 --> 00:32:44,077
Those are dog treats.

576
00:32:44,112 --> 00:32:48,242
Everything tastes like dog food
after that smoked salmon I just had.

577
00:32:48,282 --> 00:32:49,476
You ate the salmon?

578
00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:54,988
- That was a gift.
- Yes, it was.

579
00:32:57,692 --> 00:33:00,126
- You guys better pack.
- Pack?

580
00:33:00,161 --> 00:33:02,322
- Why are you dressed like that?
- What do we pack for?

581
00:33:02,363 --> 00:33:04,627
Camping.
That's first on my Dad List.

582
00:33:04,666 --> 00:33:07,999
And we're Pioneers, so you
have to find the nearest campground.

583
00:33:08,036 --> 00:33:11,199
We have 50 files of Nishamura
work to do before Saturday.

584
00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:14,402
Guys, camping...
I don't think we can do it.

585
00:33:14,442 --> 00:33:16,774
- But you promised!
- I know I promised,

586
00:33:16,811 --> 00:33:21,009
but I didn't realize camping involved a
camping trip, and we have to reschedule.

587
00:33:21,049 --> 00:33:23,415
- But you promised.
- Sometimes promises

588
00:33:23,451 --> 00:33:26,818
- aren't written in stone.
- But you promised!

589
00:33:47,007 --> 00:33:51,103
We've been a Pioneer family
for 4 generations now.

590
00:33:51,145 --> 00:33:55,241
I practically grew up in these woods
following Grandpa Ted.

591
00:33:55,283 --> 00:33:58,446
Gramps was troop leader 63 years ago,

592
00:33:58,486 --> 00:34:02,513
and was the recipient of the
supreme Pioneer honor.

593
00:34:02,557 --> 00:34:05,355
Interred for eternity...

594
00:34:08,663 --> 00:34:12,565
in a tomb erected with his own hands,

595
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:15,569
right here on this...
on this very campsite.

596
00:34:20,742 --> 00:34:22,539
Not in front of the kids.

597
00:34:22,577 --> 00:34:24,669
Hey. Hey...

598
00:34:26,114 --> 00:34:30,778
Hey! You remind me of that
old dude who stole my girlfriend.

599
00:34:30,818 --> 00:34:33,946
- What?
- I promised myself...

600
00:34:33,988 --> 00:34:36,149
Yeah, you. You! Mr. Wall-of-Hair.

601
00:34:36,190 --> 00:34:38,784
Rick, you're a counselor here.
This is sacred ground.

602
00:34:38,826 --> 00:34:41,454
- Something I got to tell you.
- The Pioneers have meant

603
00:34:41,496 --> 00:34:43,507
the world to the Taylor clan.

604
00:34:45,006 --> 00:34:46,557
That's who I am.

605
00:34:47,001 --> 00:34:50,903
Troop leader. Patriot.
TSA supervisor.

606
00:34:50,938 --> 00:34:54,738
And dad. I am Barry Taylor.

607
00:34:58,412 --> 00:35:02,542
Gentlemen, why don't we
put down the electronic devices,

608
00:35:02,583 --> 00:35:04,676
and try to get into it a little bit?

609
00:35:06,509 --> 00:35:08,518
After all...

610
00:35:09,509 --> 00:35:11,158
we're here for the kids.

611
00:35:11,791 --> 00:35:13,182
Fine.

612
00:35:15,027 --> 00:35:16,321
Sorry.

613
00:35:21,936 --> 00:35:23,733
Here for the kids?
What's he talking about?

614
00:35:23,771 --> 00:35:26,035
OK, kids. Who wants to have some fun?

615
00:35:26,373 --> 00:35:27,836
Yeah...!

616
00:35:27,875 --> 00:35:29,503
Let's go dig a hole.

617
00:35:31,045 --> 00:35:33,343
- What's your problem?
- How about we go dig a hole.

618
00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:35,110
He's giving me the stink eye.

619
00:35:35,149 --> 00:35:39,017
You thief. I loved her.
I loved her so much.

620
00:35:39,053 --> 00:35:41,021
- What are you saying?
- My beef is not with you, old woman.

621
00:35:41,055 --> 00:35:42,387
Thank you.

622
00:35:43,424 --> 00:35:47,258
- OK, now I got it.
- He has a lot.

623
00:35:51,132 --> 00:35:54,624
Hey, Zach, Emily.
Why don't you get your grandpa

624
00:35:54,669 --> 00:35:56,232
to leave the office...

625
00:35:56,470 --> 00:35:58,438
and come over here
and join us in the woods?

626
00:35:58,472 --> 00:36:00,804
He's not our grandpa, he's our dad.

627
00:36:05,980 --> 00:36:07,483
Sure, Zach.

628
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,143
My grandpa was like a dad to me, too.

629
00:36:11,185 --> 00:36:15,451
He is, Troop Master Barry.
He's my dad, and that's his partner.

630
00:36:15,489 --> 00:36:18,322
- It's like we have 2 dads!
- Just found out.

631
00:36:18,359 --> 00:36:20,327
Trust me. It was a surprise.

632
00:36:20,828 --> 00:36:22,955
- Been together 30 years.
- Feels like 50.

633
00:36:24,798 --> 00:36:27,026
- Well...
- We're soul mates, really.

634
00:36:27,068 --> 00:36:29,969
You must have a best buddy.

635
00:36:30,004 --> 00:36:32,097
Yeah. A pal?
Someone you can...

636
00:36:33,140 --> 00:36:35,040
- Fine.
- Take care.

637
00:36:35,076 --> 00:36:36,634
- Loner.
- Loner.

638
00:36:36,677 --> 00:36:38,201
- Loser!
- Loser.

639
00:36:40,047 --> 00:36:42,709
- No bears allowed.
- Thank you, Troop Master Barry.

640
00:36:42,750 --> 00:36:46,049
- Thanks.
- No trouble at all, kids.

641
00:36:46,087 --> 00:36:48,453
You ladies ready to play
a little Ultimate Frisbee?

642
00:36:48,489 --> 00:36:51,287
- I think so, Mr. Testosterone.
- Yeah.

643
00:36:51,325 --> 00:36:53,350
Ultimate Frisbee?
That's our game.

644
00:36:53,394 --> 00:36:57,455
- Let's do this for our kids...
- Yeah!

645
00:36:57,498 --> 00:37:00,524
Come on, man. Let's do it.
Yeah, for the kids. Yeah, baby.

646
00:37:00,568 --> 00:37:02,627
All right, let's do this.
Sports marketing!

647
00:37:02,670 --> 00:37:05,537
Sports marketing! Yeah!
Make the deal. Get them!

648
00:37:06,774 --> 00:37:10,733
- That's bear scat, gentlemen.
- Yeah... Yeah, it is.

649
00:37:11,779 --> 00:37:13,371
- Dad?
- Yeah?

650
00:37:13,414 --> 00:37:15,006
I think "scat" is poop.

651
00:37:16,017 --> 00:37:18,178
- Really, son?
- Yeah.

652
00:37:18,219 --> 00:37:21,188
- You wiped poop on my face?
- Yeah.

653
00:37:22,189 --> 00:37:23,986
Scat happens, man.

654
00:37:24,692 --> 00:37:27,286
[Vangelis: Chariots of Fire]

655
00:37:37,204 --> 00:37:40,867
1, 2, 3, 4,

656
00:37:40,908 --> 00:37:44,366
5, 6, 7, 8...

657
00:38:05,599 --> 00:38:07,863
Go long!

658
00:38:13,607 --> 00:38:16,771
Yes! Yeah, baby!

659
00:38:17,812 --> 00:38:19,507
Barry! I'm over here, I'm open!

660
00:38:23,050 --> 00:38:25,382
- Hey!
- I'm open!

661
00:38:29,156 --> 00:38:30,453
Get...

662
00:38:34,561 --> 00:38:35,762
Sorry.

663
00:38:39,461 --> 00:38:40,822
My gums!

664
00:38:41,836 --> 00:38:44,236
You get your wingman to fight
your battles for you?

665
00:38:44,271 --> 00:38:46,796
- I didn't take your woman.
- I'm a man.

666
00:38:46,841 --> 00:38:49,969
- I don't know your woman!
- First you steal Janice Applebaum.

667
00:38:50,011 --> 00:38:52,571
- You're confused!
- Then you steal my soul.

668
00:38:52,613 --> 00:38:56,049
- What?
- Now it's on, smiley.

669
00:38:56,083 --> 00:38:58,643
Prison rules!

670
00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:02,548
- Prison rules?
- Boy.

671
00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:05,582
[The Hives:
Hate to Say I Told You So]

672
00:39:10,330 --> 00:39:12,797
Come on, Dad. You can get up.

673
00:39:15,135 --> 00:39:16,430
Never mind.

674
00:39:18,873 --> 00:39:20,238
Back, back, back, back.

675
00:39:20,274 --> 00:39:21,400
Time out.

676
00:39:26,414 --> 00:39:27,608
Get off of me!

677
00:39:35,523 --> 00:39:38,583
Stay down, gentle warrior.

678
00:39:44,832 --> 00:39:46,032
Pull.

679
00:39:50,471 --> 00:39:52,962
- Textbook double bull's eye.
- Nice, Barry.

680
00:39:54,141 --> 00:39:59,010
That's how you get yourself a chest
full of merit patches. Anyone else?

681
00:39:59,613 --> 00:40:01,205
Pull!

682
00:40:03,250 --> 00:40:06,651
- Barry...
- I said... pull!

683
00:40:17,698 --> 00:40:19,125
My bad!

684
00:40:19,166 --> 00:40:20,368
No!

685
00:40:23,571 --> 00:40:26,904
- Grandpa Ted!
- We should get our merit patches

686
00:40:26,941 --> 00:40:30,775
- just for being his kids.
- Sorry! How bad is it?

687
00:40:30,811 --> 00:40:32,745
- Bad!
- OK.

688
00:40:43,924 --> 00:40:47,052
As a result of your
little outdoor adventure,

689
00:40:47,094 --> 00:40:50,359
I just want you to know
that my sciatica has flared up,

690
00:40:50,397 --> 00:40:51,830
and I stink like a steakhouse.

691
00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:53,356
- So thanks.
- You're welcome.

692
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:54,765
Don't mind the fact that I took

693
00:40:54,802 --> 00:40:57,032
a 3-day camping trip
and shortened it to 9 hours.

694
00:40:57,071 --> 00:41:00,700
- I made fire!
- No!

695
00:41:01,175 --> 00:41:03,905
That's not good. Get the car ready.

696
00:41:03,944 --> 00:41:07,277
Little collateral damage,
but we're back on track with the deal.

697
00:41:07,314 --> 00:41:10,340
Now it's all about the golf game.
How's your back?

698
00:41:10,384 --> 00:41:12,249
- Tight.
- Untighten it.

699
00:41:12,286 --> 00:41:15,312
Because Nishamura uses golf
as a metaphor for life.

700
00:41:15,356 --> 00:41:18,257
So if you mess that up,
it's sayonara, Nishamura.

701
00:41:19,126 --> 00:41:23,085
- One of my little magic pills.
- My housekeeper happens to

702
00:41:23,130 --> 00:41:25,997
arrange them in an organized
circular fashion, like so.

703
00:41:26,033 --> 00:41:27,864
- Pardon-moi.
- Yes.

704
00:41:27,902 --> 00:41:30,700
That's amazing.
When did we become our fathers?

705
00:41:30,738 --> 00:41:32,535
Man, I'd like to see Troop Leader Barry

706
00:41:32,573 --> 00:41:34,564
deal with the side effects
of even one of these puppies.

707
00:41:34,608 --> 00:41:37,042
Look at this. For my aging prostate.

708
00:41:37,077 --> 00:41:38,772
- Right.
- Side effects include

709
00:41:38,812 --> 00:41:42,248
swollen tongue, dry mouth
and pus-filled canker sores.

710
00:41:42,283 --> 00:41:44,717
- Come on.
- This is a joint anti-inflammatory.

711
00:41:44,752 --> 00:41:47,983
Maximum dosage may cause bouts
of uncontrollable appetite.

712
00:41:48,022 --> 00:41:50,286
That's not so bad. The munchies.
I could deal with that.

713
00:41:50,324 --> 00:41:52,224
Look at this one. High blood pressure.

714
00:41:52,259 --> 00:41:55,057
"Watch out for sudden loss
of depth perception."

715
00:41:55,095 --> 00:41:58,189
This tiny pill lowers
your bad cholesterol.

716
00:41:58,232 --> 00:42:01,201
But the first time I took it,
partial facial paralysis.

717
00:42:01,235 --> 00:42:03,897
- Come on.
- I froze up like a circus clown.

718
00:42:03,938 --> 00:42:05,132
- I was, like, "Ha."
- You're kidding.

719
00:42:05,172 --> 00:42:06,571
Yeah, like...

720
00:42:07,608 --> 00:42:10,441
- Threw my back out.
- Man...

721
00:42:12,379 --> 00:42:14,973
- How much longer we got?
- 1 week, 4 days, 9 hours.

722
00:42:16,015 --> 00:42:19,111
- Good Lord.
- God help us all.

723
00:42:21,021 --> 00:42:23,649
Hey, Dad, I'm in
desperate need of a King Fontana.

724
00:42:23,691 --> 00:42:25,556
- You want to play?
- My doctor says that

725
00:42:25,593 --> 00:42:28,084
I can't get down on the floor,
even crouch, on a golf day.

726
00:42:28,128 --> 00:42:30,961
It seems I have a genetic
predisposition to knee problems.

727
00:42:30,998 --> 00:42:34,024
That means you have it, too.
So you have to be very careful.

728
00:42:34,068 --> 00:42:35,626
Nick, I told you not to use epoxy.

729
00:42:35,669 --> 00:42:38,160
It's going to leave a
permanent stain and an odor.

730
00:42:38,205 --> 00:42:41,333
Why can't you ever
tell me I did a good job?

731
00:42:41,375 --> 00:42:43,343
All right, maestro, how do I do this?

732
00:42:43,877 --> 00:42:48,041
OK... You want to go
quarter turn clockwise,

733
00:42:48,082 --> 00:42:51,540
grab the lever, then use the
counter lever to spin 180 degrees...

734
00:42:51,585 --> 00:42:53,883
Why are you
charging that in here?

735
00:42:53,921 --> 00:42:57,789
I keep getting in Dad's way.
He can't do any business in here, right?

736
00:42:57,825 --> 00:43:00,385
Release like that, and voil�.

737
00:43:03,497 --> 00:43:05,727
Check if they
have kids' toothpaste.

738
00:43:05,766 --> 00:43:08,064
That old people stuff burns my...

739
00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:14,941
- Should we tell?
- I think I remember where they go.

740
00:43:15,909 --> 00:43:17,877
We'll put this one in...

741
00:43:17,911 --> 00:43:21,005
- This one in here.
- Put them in here.

742
00:43:21,048 --> 00:43:24,040
[The Clash: Police On My Back]

743
00:43:55,683 --> 00:43:57,275
What am I doing? They're guys.

744
00:44:03,257 --> 00:44:06,693
OK, guys, let's go!
Are you guys still hungry?

745
00:44:06,727 --> 00:44:08,718
- We just ate.
- So did you.

746
00:44:08,762 --> 00:44:10,457
I know, but I'm starved.

747
00:44:23,577 --> 00:44:24,908
That's weird.

748
00:44:25,979 --> 00:44:28,243
Do you have candy bars on you?
Don't lie to me.

749
00:44:28,282 --> 00:44:30,113
- What's wrong with him?
- I don't know.

750
00:44:30,150 --> 00:44:32,641
- Hey!
- Hey! You made it.

751
00:44:32,686 --> 00:44:35,211
- We made it. Yeah.
- Can we go play?

752
00:44:35,255 --> 00:44:37,780
Go ahead. There's games
over there. Check it out.

753
00:44:38,525 --> 00:44:40,117
Catch you later.

754
00:44:46,198 --> 00:44:48,493
You got a lot of friends.

755
00:44:48,535 --> 00:44:50,935
Well, they're not
actually all my friends.

756
00:44:50,971 --> 00:44:52,836
It's a bereavement group I belong to.

757
00:44:52,873 --> 00:44:54,363
- Bereavement?
- Yeah.

758
00:44:54,408 --> 00:44:56,433
My grandma passed away 6 months ago.

759
00:44:56,477 --> 00:44:58,877
- I'm sorry.
- Everyone here is dealing with loss.

760
00:44:58,912 --> 00:45:00,880
And then on the weekends
we have a potluck.

761
00:45:01,882 --> 00:45:03,713
Potluck? Where?

762
00:45:04,918 --> 00:45:07,113
Mr. Nishamura. It's an honor.

763
00:45:10,090 --> 00:45:12,115
- Nice to meet you.
- You, too.

764
00:45:14,461 --> 00:45:16,861
- My son, Riku.
- Riku.

765
00:45:17,898 --> 00:45:20,958
- Yeah, hey. Hey. Hey...
- Hey. Hey. Hey.

766
00:45:26,907 --> 00:45:29,933
Thank you.

767
00:45:35,015 --> 00:45:37,142
Tongue is swollen.

768
00:45:37,751 --> 00:45:40,409
We are dedicating lunch today

769
00:45:40,601 --> 00:45:43,279
to our brave Justine,

770
00:45:43,523 --> 00:45:46,281
who passed away just 2 days ago.

771
00:45:46,326 --> 00:45:49,887
Voicemail. No! Charlie, it's me.

772
00:45:49,930 --> 00:45:52,455
I think we switch peers.

773
00:45:52,499 --> 00:45:54,023
I love cupcakes!

774
00:45:54,067 --> 00:45:55,900
She left us a gift...

775
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,130
of one of her
world-famous rhubarb pies,

776
00:45:59,573 --> 00:46:03,002
that she baked through her pain
of the last...

777
00:46:03,103 --> 00:46:05,002
few hours of her life.

778
00:46:05,345 --> 00:46:10,344
- Good mercy!
- No talk. Nishamura. Call me.

779
00:46:11,685 --> 00:46:13,778
Are you ready?

780
00:46:17,391 --> 00:46:19,985
That's Justine's rhubarb pie!

781
00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:23,258
Where is she?
I want to give Justine a big hug.

782
00:46:23,297 --> 00:46:27,666
- She's dead.
- My condolences.

783
00:46:27,701 --> 00:46:30,135
She's dead!

784
00:46:33,874 --> 00:46:38,311
She's dead! She's dead!
Give me it! Dead! She's dead!

785
00:46:38,345 --> 00:46:40,404
That's a close second.

786
00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:52,415
- Is my face twitching?
- You look great.

787
00:46:52,459 --> 00:46:55,053
You look... great.

788
00:46:55,095 --> 00:46:57,256
Charlie? Are you OK?

789
00:46:57,297 --> 00:47:00,130
I am so sorry about
that whole pie thing.

790
00:47:00,167 --> 00:47:02,635
It must be my blood sugar or something.

791
00:47:02,669 --> 00:47:05,001
It's OK. I think I calmed them down.

792
00:47:05,038 --> 00:47:06,733
Come on. We're having circle time.

793
00:47:06,773 --> 00:47:09,503
- Circle time?
- It's when the whole group

794
00:47:09,543 --> 00:47:11,135
gathers and shares their grief.

795
00:47:11,778 --> 00:47:15,842
Guys, I'll be back.
I got to go to circle time.

796
00:47:22,722 --> 00:47:24,482
Hey, Dan?

797
00:47:24,825 --> 00:47:29,626
How are you doing? I recently put down
$3,000 on an authentic Japanese kimono.

798
00:47:32,633 --> 00:47:34,260
I just want to make sure it goes OK.

799
00:47:57,824 --> 00:47:59,828
Dan-san,

800
00:48:00,524 --> 00:48:03,028
would you like to use my club?

801
00:48:05,032 --> 00:48:07,091
Is that a "yes"?

802
00:48:07,134 --> 00:48:10,467
- Why is he ignoring my father?
- No, he's just really intense.

803
00:48:10,604 --> 00:48:12,905
He excludes all but the game.

804
00:48:13,100 --> 00:48:16,035
A focus you could learn as well, my son.

805
00:48:26,652 --> 00:48:28,287
I knew it. Gosh.

806
00:48:28,322 --> 00:48:32,383
Breathe. Just breathe through it.
Walk it off. Walk it off.

807
00:48:32,426 --> 00:48:34,053
We're good. We're good.
Just take a shot.

808
00:48:34,094 --> 00:48:36,654
It just passes, and then...
And then it comes back.

809
00:48:36,697 --> 00:48:41,498
After 9 months of excruciating pain,

810
00:48:41,535 --> 00:48:43,508
the cancer had spread.

811
00:48:44,705 --> 00:48:46,598
We're all here for you.

812
00:48:50,944 --> 00:48:54,641
- Do you think this is funny?
- He thinks it's funny.

813
00:48:54,681 --> 00:48:56,546
Everybody grieves in their own way.

814
00:48:56,583 --> 00:48:58,778
- That's true.
- If I don't laugh, I'll cry.

815
00:49:14,534 --> 00:49:17,435
The golf gods look favorably upon you.

816
00:49:17,471 --> 00:49:21,032
This is a very good omen.

817
00:49:25,012 --> 00:49:28,345
[Dean Martin: Grazie, Prego, Scusi]

818
00:49:32,285 --> 00:49:34,048
That was some delicious pie.

819
00:49:49,670 --> 00:49:52,070
Dan, have you
seen the Nishamura file?

820
00:49:52,105 --> 00:49:55,199
Hey Dad, maybe tomorrow you can
teach me how to ride a 2-wheel.

821
00:49:55,242 --> 00:49:56,937
I got a lot on my mind right now.

822
00:49:56,977 --> 00:49:59,138
I'm trying to focus,
finish this business deal.

823
00:49:59,179 --> 00:50:01,477
Come on, Dad. You're not even trying.

824
00:50:01,515 --> 00:50:06,452
I'm struggling, OK? That's like trying,
it just... without succeeding.

825
00:50:14,528 --> 00:50:17,019
Come on.
He unplugged the fax machine.

826
00:50:17,064 --> 00:50:19,760
2 open plugs and he has
to unplug the fax machine

827
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:22,769
- to plug in his little gaming system.
- Big deal. Come on.

828
00:50:22,803 --> 00:50:25,237
You can't run a business
if you can't get faxes on time.

829
00:50:25,272 --> 00:50:27,331
This is the reason
I didn't want to have kids.

830
00:50:31,078 --> 00:50:32,943
I wasn't talking about you, Zach.

831
00:50:36,750 --> 00:50:38,274
Hey, Zach.

832
00:50:39,219 --> 00:50:42,484
Hey, Zach. Zach...

833
00:50:43,690 --> 00:50:45,215
Zachary!

834
00:50:59,272 --> 00:51:03,208
I defaced a venerated monument,
literally. Burned down a campground.

835
00:51:03,243 --> 00:51:06,406
My son, for all intents and
purposes, is giving up on me.

836
00:51:06,446 --> 00:51:08,573
I'm failing them everywhere I look.

837
00:51:08,615 --> 00:51:12,073
Emily, one minute she
wants me to be a superhero,

838
00:51:12,119 --> 00:51:15,953
- the next minute a lion, then a king.
- Then be a king, you idiot!

839
00:51:15,989 --> 00:51:19,049
Be a superhero, be a lion,
be whatever she wants.

840
00:51:20,627 --> 00:51:23,755
Don't you get it? She just
wants someone to protect her.

841
00:51:25,265 --> 00:51:27,460
- That's it?
- Yes.

842
00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:30,197
You have to be on their level.
Be like them.

843
00:51:30,237 --> 00:51:32,637
You know what my dad gave me
for my 5th birthday?

844
00:51:32,672 --> 00:51:35,106
- What?
- A calculator.

845
00:51:36,409 --> 00:51:39,401
I don't know what it is about me

846
00:51:39,446 --> 00:51:43,542
that sees you in a crisis and then
comes galloping to your rescue.

847
00:51:43,583 --> 00:51:45,847
But I guess I am who I am, aren't I?

848
00:51:48,121 --> 00:51:50,681
You need help connecting
with these kids?

849
00:51:50,724 --> 00:51:52,282
I'm going to find you help.

850
00:51:56,763 --> 00:52:00,494
Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!

851
00:52:00,534 --> 00:52:04,436
[Roger: So Ruff, So Tuff]

852
00:52:25,559 --> 00:52:26,890
Rocked it, baby.

853
00:52:26,927 --> 00:52:28,952
Ladies, beautiful as always.

854
00:52:28,995 --> 00:52:30,929
- Jimmy Mac!
- Charlie!

855
00:52:30,964 --> 00:52:33,296
- Yeah, brother!
- What's up? Charlie, look at you!

856
00:52:33,333 --> 00:52:34,630
- Meet my friend, Dan.
- Hey.

857
00:52:34,668 --> 00:52:37,330
Tell me you felt it.
Did you feel it, man?

858
00:52:37,370 --> 00:52:38,997
- Was it electrifying?
- Electrifying.

859
00:52:39,039 --> 00:52:40,404
Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.

860
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:43,102
Like chocolate milk coming
through the nose, baby! Yeah!

861
00:52:43,143 --> 00:52:45,703
2 shows tomorrow, everybody.
So what's going on?

862
00:52:45,745 --> 00:52:47,212
- I was gonna ask you a favor.
- What you need?

863
00:52:47,247 --> 00:52:49,477
Remember at Wade's party
you were talking about

864
00:52:49,516 --> 00:52:52,883
a human puppeteer, this mechanism?
You got that done?

865
00:52:52,919 --> 00:52:55,149
When I was talking to you in confidence?

866
00:52:55,188 --> 00:52:58,089
- Yeah.
- You always had that problem.

867
00:52:58,124 --> 00:53:01,218
This man is in trouble. He has trouble
relating to his own children.

868
00:53:01,261 --> 00:53:02,853
- My God.
- He needs your help.

869
00:53:02,896 --> 00:53:04,625
With your technology, we can fix this.

870
00:53:04,664 --> 00:53:06,131
- Thank you.
- It's true.

871
00:53:06,166 --> 00:53:08,726
Let me get this right.
You want to hire me

872
00:53:08,768 --> 00:53:11,134
to take this uptight man
and make him a human puppet?

873
00:53:11,171 --> 00:53:13,639
- Yes.
- I'm gonna do it for you.

874
00:53:13,973 --> 00:53:16,042
Everybody, chop, chop!

875
00:53:16,676 --> 00:53:20,476
- I feel so doggone good here.
- All right. We're good to go.

876
00:53:20,513 --> 00:53:22,913
Now, you told me that your
friend didn't know how to play.

877
00:53:22,949 --> 00:53:25,110
- It's true.
- Dan, now you don't have to.

878
00:53:25,151 --> 00:53:27,745
- Charlie's going to play for you.
- With this suit?

879
00:53:27,787 --> 00:53:30,187
- Yes. Stick this down your pants.
- Why?

880
00:53:30,223 --> 00:53:34,023
That thing will emit such a jolt that it
will literally tickle your funny bone.

881
00:53:47,674 --> 00:53:50,108
This is a proper tea.

882
00:53:51,177 --> 00:53:54,340
Cup. Bring it up.

883
00:53:55,282 --> 00:53:56,374
Pinky.

884
00:53:57,117 --> 00:53:58,311
This is awesome.

885
00:53:58,851 --> 00:54:02,481
King Fontana,
I do so admire a proper gentleman.

886
00:54:03,022 --> 00:54:05,402
I admire proper gentlemen, too.

887
00:54:05,502 --> 00:54:08,192
I admire them very, very much.

888
00:54:09,095 --> 00:54:10,289
What?

889
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:16,467
That was a good cup of tea.

890
00:54:16,503 --> 00:54:19,961
Why, thank you. As princess of the land,
I have made it specially.

891
00:54:20,006 --> 00:54:23,567
- It is poo-poo flavored.
- She's cute.

892
00:54:23,610 --> 00:54:26,943
- He didn't laugh. Make him laugh.
- Watch this.

893
00:54:29,849 --> 00:54:32,047
Laugh, puppet. Laugh, laugh.

894
00:54:49,769 --> 00:54:53,398
"Here with my board. Have questions."

895
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:56,341
Cool. I have my board, too.

896
00:55:01,614 --> 00:55:04,105
[Wilson Pickett:
Land of 1,000 Dances]

897
00:55:12,726 --> 00:55:16,856
"Nissan has been our marketing partner
in racing for many years."

898
00:55:20,664 --> 00:55:22,758
"Nissan is poop."

899
00:55:34,180 --> 00:55:36,107
Strong words.

900
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:39,577
You suggest we sever ties?

901
00:55:39,619 --> 00:55:41,484
Racecars. Cool.

902
00:55:41,521 --> 00:55:45,150
"...but robots are cooler."

903
00:55:45,191 --> 00:55:48,456
How could he know we're exploring
a major push in that field?

904
00:55:55,968 --> 00:55:58,869
"This is boring. I'm leaving now."

905
00:56:00,507 --> 00:56:03,499
- Fearless, this one.
- Spin him.

906
00:56:04,243 --> 00:56:06,842
Spin him. Spin him again.

907
00:56:14,421 --> 00:56:16,480
- Too much spin.
- Yeah.

908
00:56:18,625 --> 00:56:19,683
I'm OK.

909
00:56:21,594 --> 00:56:24,791
I told your boy not to get the
battery pack wet. He's on his own.

910
00:56:25,598 --> 00:56:28,032
Sorry, Emily.

911
00:56:33,706 --> 00:56:35,640
Princess?

912
00:56:38,578 --> 00:56:40,409
King Fontana?

913
00:56:42,982 --> 00:56:45,416
Game on.

914
00:56:47,587 --> 00:56:49,418
At your service, my lady.

915
00:56:53,126 --> 00:56:55,390
You know when they found you
after so many years

916
00:56:55,428 --> 00:56:58,192
there were many in my kingdom
who were trepidatious.

917
00:56:58,231 --> 00:57:02,668
- Really hard word.
- People were scared.

918
00:57:02,702 --> 00:57:07,139
And even most regal I,
your king, was frightened.

919
00:57:07,173 --> 00:57:10,871
- A king who was scared?
- I know. 'Tis to laugh.

920
00:57:11,411 --> 00:57:13,106
But 'tis true.

921
00:57:13,146 --> 00:57:16,604
'Tis the reason why
a king may act like a toad.

922
00:57:17,717 --> 00:57:20,242
But the day your king found you,

923
00:57:20,286 --> 00:57:22,948
he vowed to protect you forever.

924
00:57:22,989 --> 00:57:27,153
Even though he didn't know you,
could barely speak your language,

925
00:57:27,193 --> 00:57:30,026
and yes, was a little afraid...

926
00:57:31,264 --> 00:57:35,706
he vowed to vanquish any and all
who would do you harm...

927
00:57:35,804 --> 00:57:37,206
in any way.

928
00:57:39,038 --> 00:57:41,006
You know that. Right, Emily?

929
00:57:42,475 --> 00:57:44,773
You know I'll always be there for you.

930
00:57:45,011 --> 00:57:46,972
You're my daughter,

931
00:57:48,101 --> 00:57:50,272
and I will love you forever.

932
00:58:02,862 --> 00:58:05,330
- Are you crying?
- No, I'm not. I'm not crying.

933
00:58:05,965 --> 00:58:08,901
Jimmy Mac, you crying?

934
00:58:09,305 --> 00:58:11,501
Come on, Jimmy.

935
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:17,102
Your humble servant, madam.

936
00:58:17,143 --> 00:58:19,668
- OK.
- Don't let go, Dad.

937
00:58:19,712 --> 00:58:22,476
This reminds me of an article
I once read in Advertising Age,

938
00:58:22,515 --> 00:58:26,451
which talked about the fact
that a loss in a firm's brand assets

939
00:58:26,486 --> 00:58:29,785
is negatively correlated
with increased market valuation.

940
00:58:29,822 --> 00:58:31,551
I don't know what
you're talking about, Dad.

941
00:58:31,591 --> 00:58:34,185
Let's talk about the fact that
you're riding a 2-wheeler on your own.

942
00:58:34,227 --> 00:58:38,596
- No hands, baby! No hands!
- I'm doing it, Dad! I'm doing it!

943
00:58:38,631 --> 00:58:41,122
Yeah! You're doing it.

944
00:58:45,705 --> 00:58:47,138
[Bryan Adams: Summer of '69]

945
00:58:47,340 --> 00:58:48,864
Hit it!

946
00:58:51,044 --> 00:58:52,534
Rookies.

947
00:58:55,949 --> 00:58:57,940
There you go. That was awesome.

948
00:59:05,458 --> 00:59:07,983
Hey, look! Look! That's us!

949
00:59:08,494 --> 00:59:10,052
Yeah!

950
00:59:16,002 --> 00:59:19,995
We were most impressed by your
knowledge of our assets base.

951
00:59:20,039 --> 00:59:23,770
But ultimately,
it was your robotics idea

952
00:59:23,810 --> 00:59:26,244
that pushed us over the top.

953
00:59:26,279 --> 00:59:28,873
- Robotics?
- Smile and nod.

954
00:59:28,915 --> 00:59:33,511
We here, at NMG, are ready
to go to the next step.

955
00:59:33,853 --> 00:59:36,082
Pack your bag, Craig-san.

956
00:59:36,253 --> 00:59:39,082
You're moving to Tokyo.

957
00:59:49,002 --> 00:59:52,563
I've worked so hard!
It's like I've just been traded!

958
00:59:52,605 --> 00:59:56,507
- We'll translate that later.
- Come on over!

959
00:59:58,511 --> 01:00:00,571
He's very excited.

960
01:00:01,614 --> 01:00:04,845
[Shoukichi Kina and Champloose:
Jing Jing]

961
01:00:12,759 --> 01:00:14,192
Remember, Thursday morning,

962
01:00:14,227 --> 01:00:16,422
conference call with
Nishamura and the board.

963
01:00:16,462 --> 01:00:18,555
You set things up,
and we'll take it from there.

964
01:00:18,598 --> 01:00:22,125
Got it. Conference call Thursday,
tee it up for the big guns.

965
01:00:23,202 --> 01:00:25,261
I just want to say thanks, you guys.

966
01:00:25,305 --> 01:00:28,672
Nobody's ever really believed
in me the way that you two have.

967
01:00:28,708 --> 01:00:31,768
And it really means a lot to me.
You guys are like...

968
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:37,514
You're like the 2 dads that I never had.
I really appreciate it.

969
01:00:38,084 --> 01:00:42,180
My 2 father figures.
I'm going to do you proud.

970
01:00:42,221 --> 01:00:45,850
- All right.
- Go To.

971
01:00:45,892 --> 01:00:47,717
You don't want to be late.

972
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:51,225
Look out, Japan. Here comes
some serious business.

973
01:00:57,103 --> 01:00:58,593
[Lifehouse: You and Me]

974
01:01:03,642 --> 01:01:05,142
God help us.

975
01:01:05,178 --> 01:01:08,238
It was so cool, Mom.
Dad taught me how to ride a 2-wheeler,

976
01:01:08,281 --> 01:01:11,409
and then we got to hang out
with the New York Mets!

977
01:01:11,451 --> 01:01:14,750
Let me talk to her.
And Dad promised that he'd

978
01:01:14,787 --> 01:01:17,017
do something huge
for our birthday this year.

979
01:01:17,056 --> 01:01:18,751
But he won't even tell us what it is.

980
01:01:18,791 --> 01:01:20,588
- Let me say hi to him.
- OK.

981
01:01:20,626 --> 01:01:23,754
Hey. I'm coming to get you tomorrow.
No arguments.

982
01:01:23,796 --> 01:01:25,923
Tomorrow morning, I have
the biggest conference call

983
01:01:25,965 --> 01:01:28,763
in my entire career,
but after that I'm all yours.

984
01:01:28,801 --> 01:01:32,168
It's amazing. I left the kids
with you out of desperation,

985
01:01:32,205 --> 01:01:34,696
but now I can't imagine
having done it differently.

986
01:01:35,108 --> 01:01:36,439
Me too.

987
01:02:26,458 --> 01:02:29,084
Great. This is a record.

988
01:02:29,128 --> 01:02:32,723
He unplugged a laptop,
BlackBerry, lamp, an alarm cl...

989
01:02:34,734 --> 01:02:36,201
- Charlie!
- What?

990
01:02:36,235 --> 01:02:37,600
- What?!
- Conference call.

991
01:02:40,006 --> 01:02:41,337
- Let's go!
- No, no, no.

992
01:02:41,374 --> 01:02:43,274
- My notes!
- No time!

993
01:02:45,678 --> 01:02:49,016
In 3, 2, 1...

994
01:02:49,578 --> 01:02:51,416
Kids! In the car!

995
01:02:54,554 --> 01:02:57,523
Just a second... Good...

996
01:02:59,859 --> 01:03:01,417
Nishamura-san.

997
01:03:01,461 --> 01:03:04,055
Please accept our
sincere apology for the delay.

998
01:03:04,096 --> 01:03:07,395
We trust our colleague, Craig,
has already begun the presentation.

999
01:03:07,433 --> 01:03:10,334
I'm afraid your colleague,
Craig, has not been

1000
01:03:10,369 --> 01:03:13,429
seen nor heard from
since the moment he arrived.

1001
01:03:13,473 --> 01:03:15,771
Really?

1002
01:03:15,808 --> 01:03:17,571
He 's just a little thing.

1003
01:03:17,610 --> 01:03:20,238
He looks more like a little
leprechaun in a business suit.

1004
01:03:20,279 --> 01:03:21,541
- You can 't miss him.
- Red hair...

1005
01:03:21,581 --> 01:03:24,982
He called me from
the Ginza his first night,

1006
01:03:25,017 --> 01:03:27,113
and all I heard was...

1007
01:03:29,155 --> 01:03:33,216
Techno music... and something about
the teachings of a karaoke master.

1008
01:03:36,128 --> 01:03:38,289
<i>* Hey-hey</i>

1009
01:03:38,331 --> 01:03:40,900
Ai! Ai! Ai!

1010
01:03:42,234 --> 01:03:43,859
Dan-san.

1011
01:03:43,903 --> 01:03:48,602
I have the utmost respect for you,
but an hour delay

1012
01:03:48,641 --> 01:03:52,941
and a missing executive is not the way
to begin a relationship.

1013
01:03:52,979 --> 01:03:54,776
We will do anything
to make it work out.

1014
01:03:54,814 --> 01:03:57,146
We are there for you,
Nishamura-san, 24/7.

1015
01:03:57,283 --> 01:04:00,003
Good. That is what I hoped to hear.

1016
01:04:00,383 --> 01:04:02,553
So, if we are to move forward

1017
01:04:02,588 --> 01:04:07,218
you and Charlie are the ones
who must move here to Tokyo

1018
01:04:07,260 --> 01:04:09,524
and be our liaison.

1019
01:04:09,562 --> 01:04:14,397
That is my final and only offer.

1020
01:04:21,040 --> 01:04:24,806
OK... Let's do this.
Let's do this. Just do it.

1021
01:04:31,083 --> 01:04:34,075
- Thank you.
- Hey.

1022
01:04:34,420 --> 01:04:37,317
Freedom. I can smell the air again.

1023
01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:41,522
- How are the kids?
- Great.

1024
01:04:41,561 --> 01:04:43,529
- Maybe we should get going.
- OK.

1025
01:04:43,563 --> 01:04:45,121
[Chris Isaak: This Love Will Last]

1026
01:04:45,164 --> 01:04:49,692
I just went with the motto, "Don't
serve the time, let the time serve you."

1027
01:04:50,503 --> 01:04:54,837
The truth is, Dan, most of what
I was reflecting on was us.

1028
01:04:54,874 --> 01:04:56,364
Really?

1029
01:04:56,409 --> 01:04:58,877
And the way you've proven yourself
to me with the kids.

1030
01:04:59,812 --> 01:05:01,837
- Bless you.
- Our kids.

1031
01:05:01,881 --> 01:05:06,215
- Yeah.
- Maybe you were right 2 weeks ago.

1032
01:05:06,252 --> 01:05:08,379
Maybe it is time to give us another try.

1033
01:05:10,222 --> 01:05:11,390
Really?

1034
01:05:13,025 --> 01:05:14,420
Timing.

1035
01:05:14,460 --> 01:05:16,189
- Timing's perfect.
- Timing.

1036
01:05:29,342 --> 01:05:31,435
Where are they?

1037
01:05:32,444 --> 01:05:34,569
- My babies.
- Mom.

1038
01:05:35,114 --> 01:05:37,811
I missed you so much.

1039
01:05:37,850 --> 01:05:41,013
All right. I made you guys something.

1040
01:05:42,453 --> 01:05:44,022
Cool!

1041
01:05:44,056 --> 01:05:45,080
Thanks, Mom.

1042
01:05:45,124 --> 01:05:47,251
Don't worry, Charlie.
I didn't forget you.

1043
01:05:47,293 --> 01:05:50,592
I carved you a little soap bunny.

1044
01:05:50,630 --> 01:05:52,097
Charlie.

1045
01:05:52,131 --> 01:05:54,622
I'll strike that right off
my Christmas list.

1046
01:05:54,667 --> 01:05:58,194
Hey, that's a thoughtful gift.
That's wonderful.

1047
01:05:59,538 --> 01:06:02,098
We need to discuss something,
though, as a family.

1048
01:06:02,141 --> 01:06:04,666
- I'll give you a moment.
- OK.

1049
01:06:12,284 --> 01:06:16,584
When you reappeared in my life, Charlie
and I were in the middle of a deal

1050
01:06:16,622 --> 01:06:19,557
that could be the culmination
of our 30 years in this business.

1051
01:06:20,860 --> 01:06:23,007
But in order to close that deal...

1052
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:26,427
I have to move to Japan.

1053
01:06:27,333 --> 01:06:29,563
What about our birthday? The big party?

1054
01:06:29,602 --> 01:06:32,036
I'm probably going to miss this one.

1055
01:06:32,071 --> 01:06:35,302
But I'm going to try really hard
and come back every 6 months.

1056
01:06:35,341 --> 01:06:37,935
So I'll make the next one
most likely, you know?

1057
01:06:39,278 --> 01:06:41,405
What about what you said 2 weeks ago?

1058
01:06:41,447 --> 01:06:43,779
What about trying to make us work?

1059
01:06:43,816 --> 01:06:48,116
I meant that. I really did. But...

1060
01:06:48,154 --> 01:06:52,284
But, Daddy, if you move to Japan,
who will protect the kingdom?

1061
01:06:55,728 --> 01:06:58,356
I know you wanted me
to be a superhero, Emily.

1062
01:06:58,397 --> 01:07:01,127
You all wanted me to be one.

1063
01:07:01,167 --> 01:07:03,863
But I'm not. I wish I could be.

1064
01:07:03,903 --> 01:07:06,701
I'd fly back and forth
from Japan every day.

1065
01:07:10,242 --> 01:07:12,369
I'm just a guy in marketing.

1066
01:07:17,349 --> 01:07:19,510
I'm going to go pack the kids.

1067
01:07:21,787 --> 01:07:23,448
I'm sorry, you guys.

1068
01:07:38,370 --> 01:07:40,338
- Hello. Thank you.
- May I take your bag?

1069
01:07:40,372 --> 01:07:43,239
Why don't we think of
this deal as our child.

1070
01:07:43,675 --> 01:07:45,743
Hello. Hi.

1071
01:07:47,279 --> 01:07:50,373
I know you're upset about leaving,
but we're going to fix it, OK?

1072
01:07:50,416 --> 01:07:53,078
We're going to find somebody
to replace Craig who's smarter,

1073
01:07:53,119 --> 01:07:56,555
and in 6 months to a year,
we're home. OK?

1074
01:07:56,589 --> 01:07:58,921
- You think?
- This time I just say to you,

1075
01:07:58,958 --> 01:08:01,552
"Embrace it. People love Japan."

1076
01:08:02,695 --> 01:08:04,686
- Want some?
- No!

1077
01:08:04,730 --> 01:08:07,324
- What? No?
- No. No. OK.

1078
01:08:07,366 --> 01:08:10,767
[Pizzicato 5: Twiggy Twiggy]

1079
01:08:17,610 --> 01:08:21,410
The truth is, I probably looked like
the Joker from Batman.

1080
01:08:21,447 --> 01:08:23,972
But I felt bad. These poor, sad people.

1081
01:08:24,016 --> 01:08:27,076
Anyway, I'm the first guy
to insult a bereavement group

1082
01:08:27,119 --> 01:08:28,245
and still get the girl.

1083
01:08:31,791 --> 01:08:33,725
That's Yankee ingenuity!

1084
01:08:34,126 --> 01:08:38,756
Please, Charlie, show us that
facial paralysis smile one more time.

1085
01:08:46,906 --> 01:08:49,272
All right, do your thing, superstar.

1086
01:08:49,308 --> 01:08:50,775
Thank you.

1087
01:08:52,945 --> 01:08:55,345
The American sports market
is a minefield,

1088
01:08:55,381 --> 01:08:56,973
and what I'd like to do today

1089
01:08:57,016 --> 01:09:01,953
is draw a map
through that minefield so that...

1090
01:09:07,326 --> 01:09:09,920
OK, Dan. Let's get going.

1091
01:09:09,962 --> 01:09:11,992
I accessed the wrong file.

1092
01:09:12,731 --> 01:09:14,665
- Dad!
- Hey, Dad.

1093
01:09:16,968 --> 01:09:18,766
A little technical...

1094
01:09:22,608 --> 01:09:25,839
- I can do it from my notes.
- OK.

1095
01:09:35,888 --> 01:09:38,755
The first market segment is...

1096
01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:42,184
Let's go.

1097
01:09:44,163 --> 01:09:49,032
The idea of sports to a kid...

1098
01:09:51,937 --> 01:09:53,905
Dan, what's going on?

1099
01:09:56,242 --> 01:09:58,767
How could you have tanked that
meeting? The way I set you up,

1100
01:09:58,811 --> 01:10:01,405
you could've told them we were hiring
monkeys and they would have bought it!

1101
01:10:02,348 --> 01:10:03,838
That was our dream, Dan!

1102
01:10:03,883 --> 01:10:07,341
That was going to put us in the hall
of fame of sports marketing.

1103
01:10:07,386 --> 01:10:08,410
Go!

1104
01:10:08,454 --> 01:10:11,651
Remember that USFL account we got?
That would've been the one to tank!

1105
01:10:11,690 --> 01:10:14,625
- Will you please shut up?!
- Now you speak!

1106
01:10:14,660 --> 01:10:16,685
- You want a piece of me? Bring it!
- Bring it! Come on!

1107
01:10:16,729 --> 01:10:19,323
All right! Sorry.

1108
01:10:19,365 --> 01:10:21,196
How's this going to work out, snowball?

1109
01:10:21,233 --> 01:10:23,929
I don't know, man tan. You'll be OK.

1110
01:10:23,969 --> 01:10:27,837
You'll tap-dance your way into a
brand-new job, still date 35-year-olds.

1111
01:10:27,873 --> 01:10:31,309
You never grew up.
You never had to. You always had me.

1112
01:10:34,013 --> 01:10:35,878
- God!
- It is small enough!

1113
01:10:35,915 --> 01:10:38,110
- Shut up, Charlie!
- Made for a sardine.

1114
01:10:38,150 --> 01:10:41,210
- I'm a big man. This is a little seat.
- Yeah, you're a big ma...

1115
01:10:41,253 --> 01:10:44,552
- Stop trying to change me, Charlie.
- You know I can't do that.

1116
01:10:44,590 --> 01:10:46,990
- Then I'm done.
- Done with taking my advice?

1117
01:10:47,726 --> 01:10:49,756
Late-night rap sessions?

1118
01:10:49,795 --> 01:10:51,660
But not done
with the time-share in Vail.

1119
01:10:51,697 --> 01:10:53,592
No, I'm done with you.

1120
01:10:53,933 --> 01:10:55,924
<i>Welcome aboard,
flight 9 to New York.</i>

1121
01:10:55,968 --> 01:10:58,129
<i>We got 18 hours
of flight time ahead of us,</i>

1122
01:10:58,170 --> 01:11:01,606
<i>so turn to the person next to you
and get to know them.</i>

1123
01:11:01,640 --> 01:11:03,471
<i>It's going to be a long ride.</i>

1124
01:11:05,778 --> 01:11:07,245
Where you from?

1125
01:11:09,581 --> 01:11:12,049
The whole trip was a bust
from start to finish.

1126
01:11:12,451 --> 01:11:14,009
Amanda, could I call you back?

1127
01:11:14,053 --> 01:11:17,887
I got to pick up Lucky
from the dog hotel. I'll call you.

1128
01:11:19,091 --> 01:11:21,992
Where's my boy? Where's my boy?

1129
01:11:22,027 --> 01:11:26,259
Lucky, come here, boy.
Where's my goo-go!

1130
01:11:26,832 --> 01:11:27,856
Where is he?

1131
01:11:32,204 --> 01:11:35,230
- Where is he?
- We tried to call.

1132
01:11:35,274 --> 01:11:37,071
[David Gray: As I'm Leavin']

1133
01:11:43,248 --> 01:11:45,648
<i>Hello, Daniel, it's Charlie.</i>

1134
01:11:45,684 --> 01:11:49,415
<i>Thought you'd like to know that after
14 wonderful, fulfilling years together,</i>

1135
01:11:49,455 --> 01:11:52,219
<i>my true best friend, Lucky, has passed.</i>

1136
01:11:52,257 --> 01:11:55,658
<i>Maybe my life isn't as blessed
as you paint it to be.</i>

1137
01:11:55,694 --> 01:11:58,288
<i>I thought you'd like to know
that the funeral is this Tuesday</i>

1138
01:11:58,330 --> 01:12:01,458
<i>followed by a small,
tasteful reception at my house.</i>

1139
01:12:01,500 --> 01:12:03,092
<i>I'm indifferent as to whether you come.</i>

1140
01:12:03,435 --> 01:12:04,796
Gentlemen, it's Craig,

1141
01:12:04,837 --> 01:12:06,532
and I'm back in New York.

1142
01:12:06,572 --> 01:12:07,903
I know I messed up.

1143
01:12:07,940 --> 01:12:10,408
I take full responsibility
for the mistakes that I made.

1144
01:12:10,442 --> 01:12:13,434
I'm not going to beg,
and I won't call again.

1145
01:12:14,413 --> 01:12:16,381
The truth is that I was a preemie.

1146
01:12:16,415 --> 01:12:20,511
I was several weeks premature, and
there was talk of oxygen deprivation.

1147
01:12:20,552 --> 01:12:22,179
I'm not making excuses,
but the doctor said...

1148
01:12:22,921 --> 01:12:24,314
Idiot.

1149
01:12:39,405 --> 01:12:41,839
You know someone a bunch of years,

1150
01:12:41,874 --> 01:12:46,072
and it's easy to forget
that you were fortunate enough

1151
01:12:46,111 --> 01:12:48,671
to have known them for even one day.

1152
01:12:49,048 --> 01:12:53,644
And that was Lucky, to me.
I mean, he was my friend.

1153
01:12:53,685 --> 01:12:57,280
He... Well, even more important,
he was my family.

1154
01:12:57,322 --> 01:13:00,189
And where was I when he was
breathing his last breath?

1155
01:13:00,225 --> 01:13:02,557
In Japan, making a business deal.

1156
01:13:04,363 --> 01:13:07,594
Is there anyone who would like
to say anything about Lucky

1157
01:13:07,633 --> 01:13:10,534
- before we say goodbye?
- I would.

1158
01:13:19,478 --> 01:13:21,378
I've had the great pleasure
of being the other old dog

1159
01:13:21,413 --> 01:13:23,540
in Charlie's life for the past 30 years.

1160
01:13:25,384 --> 01:13:27,648
Like Lucky,

1161
01:13:27,686 --> 01:13:31,087
I feel like a fortunate son of a gun
to have Charlie as a friend.

1162
01:13:36,195 --> 01:13:37,490
You're so cute.

1163
01:13:37,930 --> 01:13:39,295
Here. A nice bowl of cold water.

1164
01:13:39,331 --> 01:13:41,731
- I'm really glad you came, man.
- Me too.

1165
01:13:41,767 --> 01:13:43,064
It's really important to me.

1166
01:13:44,636 --> 01:13:47,036
- I've said some things...
- Please, don't go there.

1167
01:13:47,072 --> 01:13:48,300
- I have to.
- Why?

1168
01:13:48,340 --> 01:13:51,332
You've always had faith in me,
even when I didn't have faith in myself.

1169
01:13:51,376 --> 01:13:54,209
You're not just my best friend,
you're the best kind of friend.

1170
01:13:55,047 --> 01:13:57,277
You're loyal, honorable...

1171
01:13:57,883 --> 01:14:01,683
But? See I knew there was a "but."
This is gonna sting like a mother. Go.

1172
01:14:01,720 --> 01:14:03,483
Aside from going into business with you,

1173
01:14:03,522 --> 01:14:06,719
I've only made 2 good decisions
in my entire life.

1174
01:14:06,758 --> 01:14:10,319
Marrying Vicki and taking those kids.

1175
01:14:10,362 --> 01:14:12,853
And those are the 2 most impulsive
things I've done in my entire life,

1176
01:14:12,898 --> 01:14:15,890
besides the tattoo, which,
God willing, I'll get over one day.

1177
01:14:15,934 --> 01:14:19,734
I feel another moment of Dan Rayburn
impulsivity about to happen.

1178
01:14:19,771 --> 01:14:22,137
Charlie, this is big.
I'm talking about uprooting,

1179
01:14:22,174 --> 01:14:24,870
change of scenery,
the end of the business as we know it.

1180
01:14:24,910 --> 01:14:28,903
Dan. We'll figure out the business.
We always do.

1181
01:14:28,947 --> 01:14:33,577
- Yeah, but... I have to get them back.
- Nah. Absolutely not.

1182
01:14:35,387 --> 01:14:36,547
We're gonna get 'em back.

1183
01:14:37,489 --> 01:14:39,821
Yeah. Yeah, little man.

1184
01:14:51,603 --> 01:14:55,130
- Out of the way. Dad on a mission.
- You guys aren't gonna regret this.

1185
01:14:55,174 --> 01:14:57,506
I'll do whatever it takes
to get back into your good grace...

1186
01:14:58,477 --> 01:15:00,638
You want to lighten up
on the throttle, Sparky?

1187
01:15:00,679 --> 01:15:03,115
We got a zoo exit coming up here.

1188
01:15:04,149 --> 01:15:05,878
I'm not gonna miss that birthday party.

1189
01:15:05,918 --> 01:15:07,909
It's just great to get the 3 amigos
back together again.

1190
01:15:07,953 --> 01:15:10,080
You're still on probation!

1191
01:15:14,259 --> 01:15:17,092
- No, no. That's not a lock.
- You open?

1192
01:15:17,129 --> 01:15:19,825
Nah. Sorry,
the zoo closes at 3:00 to new visitors.

1193
01:15:19,865 --> 01:15:22,561
But my kids are in there.
They're having a birthday party,

1194
01:15:22,601 --> 01:15:25,001
and I have to be there because I'm Dad.

1195
01:15:25,037 --> 01:15:27,062
Yeah. This is Dan Rayburn, superdad.

1196
01:15:27,105 --> 01:15:29,471
Check on your list. R-A-Y-B-U-R-N.

1197
01:15:29,508 --> 01:15:34,070
Superdad is super late, all right?
Rayburn? You know what?

1198
01:15:34,112 --> 01:15:37,275
You don't even have the same last name
as the birthday kids. Can't do it.

1199
01:15:37,316 --> 01:15:41,082
- How does 3 big ones sound?
- A little money?

1200
01:15:41,119 --> 01:15:44,816
Don't you ever hand me
3 dollars again.

1201
01:15:44,856 --> 01:15:46,949
- Come on. You can let us...
- You already have a kid there.

1202
01:15:46,992 --> 01:15:48,584
- It's fine.
- I can't let you in.

1203
01:15:48,627 --> 01:15:51,460
He's got a heart problem.
He just wants to see his kids.

1204
01:15:51,496 --> 01:15:54,158
- You shall not pass.
- You're great at your job, man!

1205
01:15:55,434 --> 01:15:57,925
Charlie, what are you doing?

1206
01:15:59,238 --> 01:16:00,466
What are you thinking?

1207
01:16:01,006 --> 01:16:04,567
Danny boy, I am going to
get you into that party,

1208
01:16:04,610 --> 01:16:07,602
at great risk
to my perfect legal record.

1209
01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:10,771
- Through here?
- Yeah. Here we go.

1210
01:16:10,816 --> 01:16:13,114
- That's breaking and entering. No, no.
- Bingo!

1211
01:16:13,151 --> 01:16:14,982
- Don't do that.
- Wait. Let me do it.

1212
01:16:15,020 --> 01:16:16,647
- Why?
- I'll take the risk.

1213
01:16:16,688 --> 01:16:18,553
OK. Go ahead.

1214
01:16:20,425 --> 01:16:22,052
Yeah...

1215
01:16:22,094 --> 01:16:23,721
- Come on. Come on.
- I got it.

1216
01:16:25,297 --> 01:16:27,891
I need some help. I need help.

1217
01:16:28,767 --> 01:16:30,359
- OK.
- Go, Craig.

1218
01:16:30,402 --> 01:16:32,529
- Me? OK.
- Yeah, you first.

1219
01:16:33,371 --> 01:16:35,335
What's her name?

1220
01:16:42,547 --> 01:16:44,174
- We made it.
- We did it!

1221
01:16:44,216 --> 01:16:48,710
Yeah! Can't keep Dan Rayburn out.

1222
01:16:49,254 --> 01:16:51,188
Never doubt you, Charlie. Never.

1223
01:16:51,223 --> 01:16:53,691
- We are in the zoo, guys.
- All right, which way?

1224
01:16:53,725 --> 01:16:56,250
A moat. I wonder what lives here.

1225
01:16:56,595 --> 01:16:58,923
We're in the gorilla enclosure.

1226
01:16:58,964 --> 01:17:01,023
- What?
- Stand still.

1227
01:17:01,066 --> 01:17:03,466
Hold still. Don't do it. Don't move.

1228
01:17:03,502 --> 01:17:06,403
- Gorilla. Silverback gorilla.
- Stay where you are.

1229
01:17:06,438 --> 01:17:08,799
Don't look at him in the eyes.
Just look away.

1230
01:17:08,940 --> 01:17:11,666
If you don't see him, he doesn't
see you. Back up to the tunnel.

1231
01:17:11,710 --> 01:17:14,178
You have to be aggressive with
the larger apes. I've read about this.

1232
01:17:14,212 --> 01:17:16,612
- Back up to the tunnel.
- No, no. No retreat.

1233
01:17:16,648 --> 01:17:19,549
- Retreat. No, retreat.
- You retreat, we are dead.

1234
01:17:20,052 --> 01:17:22,577
He senses fear, he attacks.
Be aggressive.

1235
01:17:34,166 --> 01:17:37,602
- Food!
- Don't provoke it! Charlie, no!

1236
01:17:43,974 --> 01:17:45,441
Charlie!

1237
01:17:45,477 --> 01:17:47,502
Aggression not working.
Maybe we should be submissive.

1238
01:17:48,347 --> 01:17:51,441
- Or run!
- Every man for himself!

1239
01:17:51,483 --> 01:17:52,609
Run! Go!

1240
01:17:55,320 --> 01:17:56,344
Come on, Danny boy.

1241
01:18:13,805 --> 01:18:15,311
We're alive!

1242
01:18:16,541 --> 01:18:18,045
Penguins!

1243
01:18:19,678 --> 01:18:21,305
- I love penguins.
- Me too.

1244
01:18:25,217 --> 01:18:27,913
- Angry penguins!
- Save yourself!

1245
01:18:27,953 --> 01:18:29,011
Go to your kids!

1246
01:18:34,326 --> 01:18:36,385
Charlie! Charlie!

1247
01:18:37,662 --> 01:18:39,688
I love you, Charlie!

1248
01:18:51,209 --> 01:18:54,110
Help. Help...

1249
01:18:59,050 --> 01:19:01,518
Everybody, it's cake time.

1250
01:19:07,325 --> 01:19:10,021
- Birthday parties. Which way?
- They're on Adventure Island.

1251
01:19:10,061 --> 01:19:12,393
But the tunnel's closed.
There's no way to get there from here.

1252
01:19:12,431 --> 01:19:16,026
No, no. I got to get
to that birthday party. Please.

1253
01:19:18,336 --> 01:19:19,360
OK.

1254
01:19:21,206 --> 01:19:23,071
- What are you doing?
- Some little girl

1255
01:19:23,108 --> 01:19:25,338
wants a superhero
to fly into her birthday party.

1256
01:19:25,377 --> 01:19:28,346
- Mom calls me, I show up.
- Really?

1257
01:19:32,117 --> 01:19:34,210
We're going to sing Happy Birthday.

1258
01:19:35,687 --> 01:19:37,951
- How does this work?
- You go up, you come down.

1259
01:19:37,989 --> 01:19:41,186
- It's not rocket science, chief.
- And it's safe?

1260
01:19:42,726 --> 01:19:43,759
Sure.

1261
01:19:46,331 --> 01:19:49,892
Daddy's coming. Yeah!
Which way is the party?

1262
01:19:49,935 --> 01:19:52,062
- Northwest!
- You got it!

1263
01:19:52,103 --> 01:19:54,435
- Go for it!
- Yeah. Yeah!

1264
01:19:57,509 --> 01:20:00,876
Killer penguins.
Killer penguins!

1265
01:20:01,980 --> 01:20:04,039
- Killer penguins!
- Charlie!

1266
01:20:04,749 --> 01:20:07,479
Dan! What's he doing up there?

1267
01:20:07,519 --> 01:20:10,079
He wanted to be a superhero
for his daughter's birthday.

1268
01:20:10,121 --> 01:20:13,090
- He know what he's doing?
- It's like a ride. Don't worry.

1269
01:20:14,793 --> 01:20:18,354
Go, Danny boy!
I'm the wind beneath your wings!

1270
01:20:18,396 --> 01:20:21,092
There's no stopping Dan Rayburn!

1271
01:20:23,134 --> 01:20:25,500
Did you see a little man?
He's about yea-big.

1272
01:20:25,537 --> 01:20:27,971
He's got reddish hair.
He looks like a Hobbit.

1273
01:20:28,406 --> 01:20:30,931
Just go to your happy place!

1274
01:20:30,976 --> 01:20:33,307
Just go to a happy place!

1275
01:20:33,506 --> 01:20:36,107
1, 2, 3!

1276
01:20:36,414 --> 01:20:39,542
I can fly!

1277
01:20:40,118 --> 01:20:42,814
I can fly! Yes!

1278
01:20:46,291 --> 01:20:49,385
Happy birthday, Zach and Emily!

1279
01:20:50,662 --> 01:20:53,597
Look, guys, it's a superhero,
just like you wanted.

1280
01:20:53,632 --> 01:20:55,793
I'm coming, kids!

1281
01:20:56,434 --> 01:20:58,959
- My gosh! Dan?
- It's Dad!

1282
01:20:59,004 --> 01:21:01,529
- It's me, Fatherman!
- Dad!

1283
01:21:01,573 --> 01:21:03,268
Yeah!

1284
01:21:03,308 --> 01:21:04,332
I knew it.

1285
01:21:04,376 --> 01:21:07,436
That's right, kids.
Believe what you see!

1286
01:21:08,547 --> 01:21:10,242
- Isn't enough fuel.
- Be careful!

1287
01:21:21,793 --> 01:21:23,761
[All Out of Love]

1288
01:21:38,910 --> 01:21:42,346
I'm so sorry.
I just wanted to make an impact.

1289
01:21:42,380 --> 01:21:44,041
Mission accomplished.

1290
01:21:44,082 --> 01:21:46,642
I'm not that bad. It doesn't hurt.
I don't need to go to the hospital.

1291
01:21:46,685 --> 01:21:48,744
I just need to go home and sleep it off.

1292
01:21:49,187 --> 01:21:50,882
- You want to go home?
- Yeah.

1293
01:21:50,922 --> 01:21:52,617
You're in Burlington.
You know that, right?

1294
01:21:52,657 --> 01:21:55,820
I know that.
I rented a house a half mile from here.

1295
01:21:57,395 --> 01:21:59,260
You moved here?

1296
01:21:59,297 --> 01:22:02,357
Look, I know
I loused it up for us romantically

1297
01:22:02,400 --> 01:22:04,891
when I chose Japan over you.

1298
01:22:05,437 --> 01:22:08,929
And after what happened in South Beach,
that's pretty much unforgivable.

1299
01:22:09,474 --> 01:22:11,339
But these guys
weren't around in South Beach.

1300
01:22:12,377 --> 01:22:15,642
Good timing or bad timing, I love them.

1301
01:22:16,848 --> 01:22:19,715
I moved here so,
whether they want to visit me or not,

1302
01:22:19,751 --> 01:22:21,446
I could be closer to them.

1303
01:22:22,787 --> 01:22:25,381
I'm not a superhero, kids.
Maybe that's a good thing

1304
01:22:25,423 --> 01:22:28,620
because, you know, superheroes
are always off fighting crime.

1305
01:22:30,095 --> 01:22:32,529
And I just want to be with you guys...

1306
01:22:32,831 --> 01:22:34,423
forever, if you'll let me.

1307
01:22:39,704 --> 01:22:41,228
Deal.

1308
01:22:41,740 --> 01:22:43,901
You're on my oxygen!


1311
01:23:20,278 --> 01:23:22,542
Long story short,
he gets the kids, he gets his wife.

1312
01:23:22,580 --> 01:23:24,013
And Nishamura calls and says,

1313
01:23:24,049 --> 01:23:26,745
"We want a family man
to represent a family business."

1314
01:23:26,785 --> 01:23:29,720
Boom, $47 million in fees later,

1315
01:23:29,754 --> 01:23:31,779
here we are on my best friend's boat
going to Aruba.

1316
01:23:31,823 --> 01:23:34,189
That is a true story. I mean, come on.

1317
01:23:34,225 --> 01:23:37,126
Well, it's a good thing
you brought us down here

1318
01:23:37,162 --> 01:23:41,121
because the high seas are a
dangerous mistress for these children.

1319
01:23:41,166 --> 01:23:45,432
Excuse me. What are you doing
to my boat? The safety squad? Why?

1320
01:23:45,470 --> 01:23:49,270
It's my kid, OK? The fruit of my loins.
And you just relax, OK?

1321
01:23:49,307 --> 01:23:51,332
We're going to fix this boat
so it's safe for her.

1322
01:23:51,376 --> 01:23:52,900
Your baby's only 3 months old!

1323
01:23:54,144 --> 01:23:55,572
Nick!

1324
01:23:56,213 --> 01:23:58,138
This is not a Sizzler!

1325
01:23:58,983 --> 01:24:00,348
All right, so 2 weeks.

1326
01:24:00,385 --> 01:24:02,649
Keep the office running smooth
until the big guns get back.

1327
01:24:02,687 --> 01:24:05,087
- That'll be my sole scope of work.
- Now, Craig,

1328
01:24:05,123 --> 01:24:07,421
no more karaoke. You are cut off.

1329
01:24:07,459 --> 01:24:09,791
Not even in your own house.
You can do it.

1330
01:24:09,828 --> 01:24:12,901
Go To! We're gonna miss you, Go To.

1331
01:24:13,008 --> 01:24:15,291
Hey, you guys are using my nickname.

1332
01:24:20,271 --> 01:24:21,701
Nick?

1333
01:24:21,740 --> 01:24:23,833
Listen. Are you good at puzzles?

1334
01:24:23,875 --> 01:24:27,504
Everybody take their seasickness pills?
Come on, guys.

1335
01:24:27,945 --> 01:24:29,206
Should we tell?

1336
01:24:29,247 --> 01:24:32,341
I think I remember where they go.

1337
01:24:32,984 --> 01:24:34,474
Yeah.

1338
01:24:35,820 --> 01:24:38,846
All right, we got the bags stowed below.
Seasickness pills

1339
01:24:38,890 --> 01:24:41,290
have been distributed.
Let's just get one bon voyage photo,

1340
01:24:41,326 --> 01:24:43,692
and then
we're ready to shove off, folks.

1341
01:24:43,728 --> 01:24:45,958
All right,
everyone get together for a picture.

1342
01:24:45,997 --> 01:24:47,931
Big smiles. Let's look real happy.

1343
01:24:47,966 --> 01:24:50,230
- Today, Craig.
- Got it?

1344
01:24:50,268 --> 01:24:53,032
Maybe not quite so happy.