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Spam is beautiful! Beautiful spam!
Spam is beautiful!
Beautiful Spa-aa
aaam
Beautiful Spam! Beautiful Spam!
Spam is beautiful! 39am, spam, spam, spam! </ P>
Always see the bright side of life
Always see the bright side
Live
Ole & apos ;!
Sefiores, superior seizures. buenas noches
Buenas noches
& apos; IQl? I "Mg
Who would have thought 40 years ago,
we would all sit here do Monty Python, eh? </ P>
AYE, aye. </ P>
On their day We are happy to enjoy a cup of tea. </ P>
- A cup of cold tea & apos; - Aye,
Without milk or sugar.
- Or tea - In broken cups and all.
We never used to drink tea.
We used to have to drink it out of newspaper rolls
The best we can manage suck a piece of damp cloth.
But you know we're happy at that time, even though we are poor
- Because we are poor - Righl,
My old dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness, son." </ P>
He is right.
I was happier at that time and I didn't have anything
We used to live in this little place, old slums, </ p >
with a big hole in the roof.
You are lucky to have a house.
There are 26 of us in one room. There is no furniture, half of it is gone.
We all huddled in one corner for fear of falling.
You are lucky to have a room. We used to live in the corridor.
We used to dream of living in the corridor.
Will be a palace for us.
We used to live in an old water tank at the end of the trash
Awaken every morning by having a load of from rotten fish thrown out all over us.
Houses.
Well, when I say "home," it's just a hole in the ground,
is covered with a sheet of tarpaulin, But it's home to us.
We were driven from our hole in the ground.
We have to go and stay in the swamp.
You are lucky to have a swamp.
There are 150 of we live in a shoebox, in the middle of the road.
- cardboard box? - Aye
You are lucky
We live for three months a newspaper rolled in a septic tank.
We used to wake up at 6:00 in the morning, clean the paper,
went to work in the factory 14 hours a day, week after week, for six cents a week.
When we get home,
our dad will make us fall asleep with his belt.
Luxury.
We used to wake up from the swamp at 3:00 a.m.,
drain the swamp, eat boiled twigs,
work 19 hours in the factory for shilling a year, and when we get home,
our father will? o we sleep with a cat-d-nine tail
if we are lucky
Paradise & apos;
We have that difficult.
We used to get up out of the shoe box in the middle of the night,
and lick the clean path with our tongues.
We have to eat half a handful of pebbles cold frozen,
works 24 hours a day at the factory for four cents every six years,
and when we get home,
our father will slice us into two with a bread knife
Right.
I have to get up in the morning 10:00 a.m. at night,
half an hour before I go to bed & apos ;
Eat a lump of cold poison, work 29 hours a day down the factory,
and pay the factory owner For permission to come to work,
and when we get home,
our father will kill us and dance about in the cemetery we sing hallelujah.
Yes.
You try and tell today's young people,
and they won't trust you
Isn't that great, ladies and gentlemen? Really great-.
Now, the next item in this program is...
I can't stand it, dude. Really, I have it with these idiots.
Every night, makes me say the most annoying...
Really great action. Now, the next item in...
The mouth is gone... already gone. Will find someone who is a little cooler, maybe?
I mean, that can't be difficult &
I have experience...
Know how he feels
Welcome to the ship, English pig-er.
Fritz, table Looks like you've turned away, old chap.
Greetings pig capitalist,
very sorry, but must tell you that you are now our prisoner. </ P>
Welcome to Monty's music, a show that makes you want less.
And, a very big hand please, for Terry Gilliam
It's a small number I was recently thrown into the Caribbean. </ P>
Isn't it really good to have a penis? </ P>
Isn't it really nice to have a
this swell due to stiffness It's divine to have a penis
From the smallest smallest tadger To the biggest puncture in the world
So, three cheers for you or John Thomas
Hurray for your one-eyed snake pants
A piece of pork Your wife's best friend
Your Percy or your chicken
You can wrap it with ribbon You can put it in your socks
But don't take it out in public or they will stick to you on the dock
And you won't be a-come a-back
Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
Thank you & apos;
I am want to thank the Navy, and here it is.
Isn't it really nice to have a penis?
Isn't it really nice to have it?
It's swollen because it's stiff
It's divine to have a penis
From the smallest smallest tadger To the biggest puncture in the world
So three cheers for you or John Thomas
Hurray for your one-eyed snake pants
A piece of pork Your wife's best friend
Your Percy or your chicken
You can wrap it in ribbons. You can put it in your socks. </ P>
But don't take it out in public Or they will put you in the dock
And you won't come back
It's great to have your own pussy
It's great to have your straw friendly
Your cry, your twat, cat Your kitty
Your naughty or naughty
It's good to have a monkey groove
Your finger cake, your lunch box or your catch
Your camel's fingers, your bearded scallops Your bottom in front of
Your monkey mingles, your muffins
Or your old Sir Berkeley Hunt
Your honey pot, your furry friend
But don't ever call it "cunt
Or we won't come back
Isn't it very good to have a basis
Isn't it really nice to have a donkey
it swells to have a soft one it's divine to have a scut
From the thinnest little ass to the biggest ass in the world
Three cheers for your posterior or anus
Hurray for your beautiful seat
Your Fundamentals, your fanny
Your naughty little sweetheart
Your ass, thighs, ham, stern, your fanny or your back
But heart careful how you handle it or you will get caught i'm afraid
And you won't come back
It's not very good you have a penis...
It's nice to have your own pussy
It's great to have your straw friendly
It's swollen because it's stiff It's divine to have a penis
.. your cat
Your nest, you are evil or snatch you... -...
So, three cheers for your will...
It's good to have monkey groove
Your pork, your wife's best friend Your Percy or your chicken
Your monkey mingles, your muffins But don't take it out in public
Or they will plug you in the dock. </ P>
And you won't come back
No sir! No, you won't come back
No sir! </ P> p>
Company, on the right...
dress!
Company, camp it UP!
My goodness
I'm so angry today, all right!
Two, three, damn, damn Two, three, I'm annoyed and sullen
Two, three, and crazy jump
Stamp, stamp Get him, whoops
I have your number, duck
You can't pay me, honey
> Two, three, I'll scratch your eyes Two, three, meow
Two three Don't come to the Rear Admiral with us, honey
We all know where you are you Royal Naval fairy
Two, three , left, right, left, right Who kissed us tonight?
Oops, don't look now, girls
Captain just chopped with sailors little
Two, three, ooh Two, three, hello sailor!
Company, today, you go to war, and my Lord, I hope I come with you.
When I first had a fight, I had two hands.
Two good arms, but when the time came to give them,
I give them, I give them happily.
I sing and laugh when they saw them,
because I believe that there is a future for people human
If men are ready to give their limbs.
And not only men, But also their women,
And our children, < br /> and our children's children,
and our children's children & apos;
And what about our pets?
- Why The little bastard descends... - Stop the sketch.
Now, no one likes to laugh more than me.
Except maybe, my wife, and some of his friends.
Yes, and Captain Johnson.
Come to think of it, most people like laughing better than me.
But that doesn't matter.
Now, let's have a good, clean, sketch of a healthy outdoors -
Get air into your lungs. & apos; Ten, nine, eight, and all of that.
There are pages in history books, written on a large scale.
Events are so important, that they are human dwarfs and time is the same.
And that's the Battle of Pearl Harbor,
is returning to us now by women from Batley Townswomefis Guild -.
Miss Rita Thurbanks, you set it up
reconstruction this is the battle of Pearl Harbor, why?
Well, we are always so very interested in modern drama.
We are of course,
The first Guild Townswomen to do Camp on Blood Island,
and last year, of course,
we did a very popular re-enactment. War cruelty Nazis. </ P>
Jadi, tahun ini, pikir kami kami ingin melakukan sesuatu dengan nada yang lebih ringan.
- So, you chose the battle of Pearl Harbor? - Yes that's right, we did.
Well, I can see you're all ready to go,
So , I just wish you good luck in your last attempt.
Thank you very much, man.
Women and men, The world of history is proud to be present
premiere Townshomews Batley Guild
re-enactment of Pearl Harbor's battle
Oh dear. We won't allow this kind show a little on the screen.
Michelangelo meets you, Your Majesty.
What?
Michelangelo, the famous Renaissance artist,
whose works best include,
In 1514...
Yes, yes, they have got it now, they have got it now
- What? What? - Go.
I'm just trying to be informative.
Go.
Right . Get out
- Good night, Your Highness & apos; - Good night, Michelangelo.
Now, I want to talk to you painting Your wounds, the Last Supper.
- Oh yeah? - I'm not happy with that
0h, dear It takes hours. </ p >
Not happy at all.
- Is that jelly that you don't like? - Jelly?
I mean, they add a little color, don & apos; them?
I know what it is. You don't like kangaroos.
- What is a kangaroo? mind, I'll paint it out -
- I've never seen a kangaroo. - Well, he's behind with a llama,
It doesn't matter, I will make it one of the students.
- Good? - That's the problem.
- What is that? > - the students
Are they too Jewish?
I made the most Jewish Judas & apos;
No, only 28 of them.
>
- Too much? - Well, of course that's a lot.
Yes, I know, but I want to give the impression of the real Last Supper,
Unlike the last snack or last meal -
But the true mother of the Last Supper.
There are only 12 students at the Last Supper.
Maybe, some of their friends stopped after dinner for a drink.
There are no friends & apos;
Waiter? - no waitress </ p >
Look, I like people, It helps to get out of the scene.
I can lose a few, I guess.
- Look, there are only 12 students... - I understand it.
- We will call it, The Last But One Supper. - What?
Now, if there is one last, There must be something before that
So this will be the Penultimate Supper.
The Bible does not say it How many people are there now, right?
- No no. - Well, there it is.
Well, look, look,
The Last Supper is an important event in the life of our Lord.
The Penultimate banquet is not,
even if they have a mariachi band and a magician.
Now, I am assigning The Last Supper from You,
and the Last Supper I want, with 12 Disciples,
and one Christ!
One?
Yes, one!
Now, will you tell me what is in the name of God?
You have to paint this with three Christ in it?
-It works, buddy. - Works?
Yes, it looks great.
The fat one balances the two skinny.
There is only one redeemer!
I know that, we all know that.
- I want one... - What about a little artistic license?
I want one Messiah;
I will tell you what you want, You want a bloody photographer,
That's what you really want. Not an artistic creator.
I will tell you what I want.
I want the Last Supper with 12 Disciples, one Christ,
there are no steel bands, no trampolines,
no kangaroos on Thursday afternoon, < br /> or you don't get paid.
Fascists bleed
Look, I'm head Fucking Catholic Church, I,
So, look.
Do you know what makes it special?
Yes.
There are Jews in the world there are Buddhists
There are Hindus and Mormons
Then
Some follow Muhamad
But I have never been one of them
I am a Roman Catholic
And I have always been born
And one thing they say about Catholics
They will take you as soon as you are warm
You don't have to be six footers
You don't! you have to have a great brain
You don't have clothes
You are a Catholic when Dad comes
Because </ p >
Every sperm is holy
Every sperm is great
If sperm is wasted
God is included in a bate
Every sperm is holy
Every sperm is great
If sperm is wasted in vain
God becomes very angry
Let Heathens spill their blood
In the dusty land
God will make them pay
For every sperm that cannot be found
Every sperm is desirable
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your environment
Hindu, Tao, Mormon
Spill them anywhere
But God loves those who treat
their semen more carefully
Every sperm is holy
Every sperm is the boss
If sperm is wasted
God can get enough cross
Every sperm is holy
Every divine drop
But God needs everyone
- mine - And mine
And mine
Let unbelievers spill their contents
On the mountains, hills and plains
God will attack them
Every sperm that spills in vain
Every sperm is holy
Every sperm is right
Every sperm is needed
Even at 02
Every sperm is holy
Every sperm is great
If sperm is wasted.
God gets enough
angry
God gets enough
angry
Catholics who bleed
Fill the bloody world with bloody people,
they are not able to feed bloody.
What are we, dear
Protestant and very proud about that.
Why do they have so many children?
Because every time they have sexual intercourse,
they have to have a baby
p>
But it's the same as us, Harry.
What do you mean?
Now, we have two children, and we have had sex twice & apos ;
That's not the point, we can have it whenever we want
- really - Yeah.
we can take precautions.
What do you mean to lock the door?
No, I mean as a member of the Protestant Reformed Church,
successfully challenged papal autocratic strength
in the early 16th century,
we can use a small rubber device do not prevent problems
What do you mean? </ P>
I can, if I want, Have sex with you. </ P>
Yes, Harry. </ P>
And thanks to Martin Luther and his friends, I have to wear a veil.
- what, dress? - No no.
Rubber sheath over my own friend to make sure that when I go down,
you will not be infused.
Yes, that's how being Protestanfs is all about.
Don't stop with a simple condom, no. I can use French ticklers.
You what
French ticklers, rib crocodiles, black cambos, thin condom wafers.
Designed not only to protect, but increase sexual congressional stimulation.
Do you have one
Do I have one < br /> Well, no.
But I can go down the road whenever and walk to Boots with my head held high,
and say, "Mr. Boot, I want you to sell condoms to me. </ P>
"Babies, I think I'll have a Mexican tickler & apos;
" Because, I'm a Protestant,
" and that's the best because that's what God wants) &
You people really piss me off!
Sorry I found you That was a very bad.
Gender, gender, sex, That's what bloodless humans think.
That, and try to blow smoke into my butt with endless prayer. </ p >
It's very boring.
Well, this should be a funny program, So, for my sake, just go ahead.
And welcome to Munich /> for the 27th Olympiad City.
A traditionally held event every 3.7 years,
which, this year, has brought competitors </ p >
from more than four million different countries & apos;
And here it is at the beginning of the first evening program,
the second semi-final from 100 yards > for people who have no direction.
Let's see the competitors,
Line one, Kolomovski from Poland Line two, Zatapatique from France.
Line three, Gropovich from the United States. Next to it, Drabble from Trinidad.
Next to Fernandez from Spain, and on the outside, Bormann from Brazil.
And now, to the pool.
And you join us here in the Bundesabsurd pool,
just in time to see the beginning of 200 meter freestyle for non-swimmers.
Watch a formidable Australian champion, Ron Barnett on the second track.
Well, we will bring you back here When they start fishing the bodies out,
but now to Hans Clay to start a marathon for incontinence. </ P>
We have a big entry for this event.
Forty-four competitors from 29 different countries,
semua dengan mereka kandung kemih yang paling luar biasa lemah.
Not the tight sphincter that is visible.
Ready to start, however, in the longest race in the world,
and they just hurt to leave.
On your sign! Get set!
And they leave, they go.
And now, jump high.
Katerina Ovelenskij for the Soviet Union,
But what is a leap! What's jumping That might be a note!
And here it is on the tower chase 3,000 meters
For people who think they are chickens. </ P>
There is Samuelsson from the United States and there, is Klaus from East Germany. </ P>
He it has become Rhode Island Red now for the last three Olympics.
And there are referees trying to get them to leave...
Where is the leader?
>
got a very good start and then settled on the water} ump, and now it's crazy.
Now, we're back with a marathon for incontinence once more.
There is a Polish Polinski leading,
and now, the Brewer of Australia has taken over &
Brewer has followed him, but he goes to spend one penny
There goes Bun to spend a penny and there is Gurdich from Austria,
And now Alvarez from Cuba, followed by the charming Norwegian Borg.
They go in and out like yo-yo & apos, boys! And there's a MacDonald!
MacDonald will come back, but he can't hold it... This is lmmacuvich
once represented their country.
And now, let's look back at what happened on the stage.
- Mr. Anchovy. - Hello
- sit - Thank you. </ P>
- Take a heavy leg, eh? - Yes yes. </ P>
Beautiful weather for the whole year, eh?
Enough of this gay banter.
Now I understand you are asking us to tell you
what is the best job in life, As your profession
- That's right. - Right
Now I get the results of the interview here, the talent test you did last week
and I think we've succeeded to build a fairly clear picture
of your type.
I think I can say without fear of contradiction
that's the ideal job for you. is rental accounting.
But I'm a rental accountant & apos;
Good for you. Back to the office then & apos; It's done well.
No, you no! understand. I have been a chartered accountant for 20 years.
I want a new job.
Something interesting will let me live.
The accounting is quite exciting, isn't it?
Fun? No, no.
It's dull, dull, dull.
Oh my God it's boring. </ P>
It's so boring,
and boring and boring and stuffy
and very boring. </ P>
Yes sir Anchovies, But you see your report here saying that
You are a very boring person. </ P>
Our experts describe you as a very boring person,
not imaginative, timid, lacking initiative,
boneless, easy to dominate,
There is no sense of humor, boring company
and very drab and dreadful.
And while in other professions this will be a considerable weakness,
in leasing accounting They are a positive gift.
But I came here to find a new job, a new life,
a new meaning for my existence.
Can't you help me
Now, do you have an idea? what do you want to do? </ P>
Yes I have &
Benign lion
Benign lion? </ P >
Yes, this is a little jump, isn't it?
You know, renting accounting for taming lions in one go,
You don't think it might be better to work your way to the taming lion?
Say, through insurance or the like?
- No no. - No? </ P>
I don't want to wail. At nine tomorrow,
I want to be there, tame. </ P>
Yes, but do you have qualifications?
I have a hat.
- A hat? - Yeah, a hat
Lion clamp hat
Hats with "Lion Tamer" written on it. I bought them at Harrods.
- I saw. - Yeah, yes
The light was on at night by saying "Lion Tamer & apos; in big red neon letters,
so you can tame them after dark,
-ketika mereka kurang stroppy. - Ya ya.
And during the day you can turn it off
and claim reasonable wear as professional fees are allowed
-fari paragraph 335 B... - Mr. Anchovy,
if I now call Bertram Mills and say,
"Listen, I'm 45 years old a rented accountant here
"who wants to be a lion tamer.
Their first question won't happen, " Does he have his own hat? "
The problem is, they are more likely to ask > about your experience with lions
Well, I've seen them at the zoo &
Yes, that's fine.
Yes, little brown furry creatures, with short legs stumpy
They look very tame to get started.
Right now, these are your lions,
How high are they?
Well, about so high. They don't! scare me
And are they, occasionally, eating ants?
Understood.
Well, I think what You get there, Mr. Anchovy, is an anteater, not a lion. </ P>
- What? - You see lions are very large beasts,
about five feet high, ten feet wide, It weighs about 500 kilograms.
They walk as far as 40 miles per hour
and they have large, pointed teeth very sharp,
and sharp sharp claws of sharp claws
that can tear your stomach open before you can say Jack Robinson,
and they looks like this.
Dirt.
Actually I really like your idea,
makes a transition to tame the lion through an easier stage.
- You know, maybe through insurance. - or banking
- Banking. - Banking.
Oh, Banking. There is a man's life.
Banking, travel, excitement, adventure,
decisions that affect people's lives.
So, should I contact the bank?
- Yeah. - Yes? </ P>
No no No. Don't look, just give me A few weeks to think about it,
Because it's big , that's a big decision. Maybe I'll just...
- Or maybe three weeks & - Give a month.
- A month. < br /> Yes- -Give a month.
Well, can I tell you something?
& apos; M?
I never really wanted to be a lion tamer.
I want to be
A system analyst.
System...
Then I got this postcard from my Aunt in Canada
and it looks beautiful & apos;
I realize one thing All I want is to be a woodcutter.
Jump from tree to tree
Like them ? Big rivers in British Columbia
Giant redwoods
Larch
Great Pine Scots
With my best girl by my side
We sing, sing, sing
Oh, I'm a woodcutter and I'm fine
I sleep all night and I work all day
He's a woodcutter and he's fine
He sleeps all night and he works all day
I cut down trees, I eat lunch I go to the restroom
On Wednesday I go shopping
p>
And drinking butter scones for tea
He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch
He goes to the restroom
On Wednesday he goes shopping
And has butter scones for tea
He's a woodcutter and he's fine
He sleeps all night and he works all day
I cut down trees, I jump and jump
I like pressing wild?
I wear women's clothing
And hang out at the bar
He cuts down trees, he jumps and jumps
He's a woodcutter and he's fine
He sleeps all night and he works all day
I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and bras
I hope I've become Donnini
Just like Papa dear
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspendies and bras? </ P>
Disgusting. </ P>
Oh Bevis! </ P>
And I think you're so stupid. </ P>
He's a woodcutter and he's good okay
He sleeps all night and he works all day
He's a woodcutter and he's fine
He sleeps all night and he works all day
Yes.
Charles Atlas, with his world the most perfectly developed body.
Tired pushed?
Do you want to do it? some push around isn't it?
Do you like the body? who can't fail to attract women's attention?
Become jealous someone else?
I have to get it.
Just give your skinny and thin body just 15 minutes a day -.
I've heard it before, duck .
With this, you will have 50 pounds of He-Man muscles on you.
Herculean arms are thick,
a large big chest ,
atomic powered legs
Shoulder width of one yard
and correct in the privacy of your own home.
What is my secret
This is dynamo tension.
Muscles pull muscles, natural way
This is proof of life.
And there is no need to stop there.
So, don't delay.
Send today to giant, free, 78 page muscle building course
Postman.
And start building your body you can be proud.
Yes.
Good afternoon and welcome The crowded Olympic Stadium in Munich
for the second leg of this exciting final International Philosophy.
And to your commentator, Juan Stoppa.
And here comes the Germans now, led by "Nobby" skipper Hegel.
They must start favorites this afternoon.
They must be interested the most attention from the press
with their team problems .
And let's look at their line up.
Germany plays 4-2-4. Leibniz in the destination
Kembali empat, Kant, Hegel, Schopenhauer dan Schelling.
Front runners Schlegel, Wittgenstein, Nietzsche and Heidegger,
and midfield duo Beckenbauer and Jaspers.
Beckenbauer, obviously, a little surprise there.
And here comes the Greeks, leading out by their veteran center half Heraclitus.
Let's see their team. As you might expect It's a much more defensive line. </ P>
Plato is at his destination. The foremost Socrates there, and Aristotle as sweepers. </ P>
Aristotle is very many men in form.
One of the surprises is the entry of Archimedes.
Well, here comes the referee, Kung Fu Tsu Confucius
and two linesmen St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas.
And as two captains Be prepared to shake hands
we are ready to start this very interesting ending -.
Referee Mr. Confucius checks the sand
And, they leave.
Nietzsche and Hegel there.
Carl Jaspers number seven outside Wittgenstein is with him.
There is Beckenbauer &
Schelling is there. Heidegger covered
Schopenhauer. </ P>
And now the Greeks. Epicurus, Plotinus number six. </ P>
Aristotle & apos; </ p >
Empedocles from Acragas, and Democrats with him & apos;
There are Archimedes & apos;
Socrates, that's how he is, Socrates.
Socrates there, past it. </ P>
There is a ball. There are balls & apos;
And Nietzsche is there. Nietzsche, number ten on this German team. </ P> p>
Kant moves up on the outside.
Schlegel on the left.
Germany moves very well in this opening time.
Well, that's how it is.
And we will return to the match sometimes in the second round,
but now it's time to...
Philosophy.
Hello. How are you?
How are you? < br /> How are you?
- G & apos; day, Bruce - G & apos; day, Bruce
Women G & apos; day and Bruces.
It's great to be here in the Oz arena. </ P>
02, buddy. it's two. </ P>
I'm sorry, buddy Thank you very much. </ P >
- Be patriotic & apos; - sorry
We are all philosophy professors Woolamaloo University, Australia.
Australia, Australia, Australia &
We love you.
I teach Hegelian philosophy.
Bruce here teaches Aristotle's philosophy.
And Bruce here teaches classic philosophy
and all other bruces are responsible for lamb sauce.
Sheep, sheep, sheep, we love you.
This is a wattle,
the symbol of our land & apos;
You can put it in a bottle,
You can hold it in your hands.
- Amen - Amen, amen
This bloodthirsty job, Bruce, t think I will get...
- Why aren't you cold then, buddy? - Yes, I think I...
Actually they look a little thirsty there. It seems they can use drinks.
Remove them from drinking out there, buddy & apos;
- Throw them some... - Are you thirsty?
- Australian beer good old & apos; - Who will...
Throw them out, huh.
Chuck them, buddy & apos; Chuck them. Good, there.
Now the reason we do this, women and bruces
are we here,
Your English beer
is a bit like making love in a boat.
Hows it in?
It's very close to water.
I like it!
- Good night. - Good night, dickhead.
- How are you doing, Punk Bruce? - I'm good.
p>
Now Punk Bruce here has brought Bruce a guest,
who agreed tonight to dress like prat for charity.
Oh right
So what's your name, Bruce?
My name is Roger.
- Roger? - Roger McGough
You're damn Eddie Izzard, aren & apos; you? </ P>
Yes, he's in disguise tonight.
And your charity, Bruce?
My charity, Bruce, I am raising money,
or me already giving money to Monty Python Pension Fund.
- Yeah. Very good Right... thank you
And for for.
Hey Bruce, leave him alone.
You're a little randy,
- Yes, right. - Sorry about that, Bruce.
p>
Do you get a monologue or...
- Alright, it's really good. - Check in the post.
Thank you, Bruce.
Alright, I'm sorry about our marsupials,
They're worse than bloody carpets, some of them.
Anyway, let's try and lift the chain a little
Good idea, Bruce.
Immanuel Kant is a true pissanl
Who is very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger is a drunk beggar
Who can think of you under the table
David Hume can go out and consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel
And Wittgenstein is a beery pig
Who is as handsome as Schlegel?
Wait a minute, Bruces, hang on.
I think this is a little bit A pleasant mood, this crowd here.
- Yes, I thought they were... - Yeah.
- Pissed as a parrot half of them. - Yeah.
And I'm sure some of them have smoked their strange English weeds that grow at home.
Yes, they might as well smoke daffodils, buddy
Maybe, friend.
How do you tell English batsman?
Those in the pavilion.
Did you hear about pommy's bastards
>
who took Viagra instead of sleeping pills?
No, what happened?
He finally had 40 wanks!
- I like Aussie humor. - Right
Well, why don?! give us a little hand
and we will sing with this one right? Feeling like that?
I have words here. They are in my pocket.
I'll just... be a little tight there.
That's not
- Don't pull it out, Bruce. -This is
Here it is Makes them all written with my hand alone fair.
All right?
Immanuel Kant is a true pissanl
Who is very unstable on
Heidegger, Heidegger is a drunk beggar who can. ..
Wait a minute. Wait a minute & apos;
This doesn't work, Bruce.
- I think it's my handwriting, Bruce. < br /> - Maybe so
They are typical O2 viewers, Bruce.
They don't! know if you want titter or twitter
- My mobile left to vibrate. - Oh dear. </ P>
It's funny, Bruce. </ P>
My Sheila has a vibrator which she can activate on the phone. </ P> p>
Think about it. Thank you very much.
Don't know whether he came or went.
Disgusting.
- Let's we raise the tone - Now, we have everything
Punk Bruce, can you give us a hand?
I can give him a hand here.
Stop that, Bruce. You.
Immediately. Dead.
- Go, go away. - Release him, buddy.
Fuck off to Barcelona and bite Luis Su? Rez & apos;
Now, Punk Bruce,
do you have anything to help us put words for these poor people? </ P>
- How is that, Bruce? -Yes -
- Now you can see it. - Very good. </ P>
Very good. OK , now we have no reason, okay?
- Let's listen to you -It's almost a break, so here it is.
Immanuel Kant is a true pissanl
Who is very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger is a drunk beggar
Who can think of you under the table
David Hume can go out and consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel
And Wittgenstein is a beery pig
Who is as handsome as Schlegel?
There is nothing Nietzsche can't teach you
About wrists
Socrates himself is permanently upset
John Stuart Mill for his own free will
Half a pint of shandy is very sick
The Plato they say can keep it away
Half a box of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was the bottle bugger
Hobbes liked the drama
And Ren? Descartes was a drunk joke
" I drink because of that I am
Yes, Socrates himself is very miss
A beautiful little thinker But there's a bugger when he's upset
Thank you. You're brilliant
Well now we will return to the Olympic Stadium
for the last minute from the final Philosophy
and I understand that there are still no scores &
>
Well there might be no value, but Of course there is no excitement here.
As you can see Nietzsche has just been ordered to argue with the referee.
He accused Confucius of not having free will and Confucius he said, "The name entered the book."
And this is Nietzsche's third order in four matches
And who is that? This is Karl Marx. Karl Marx is warming up.
Obviously, Martin Luther's manager has decided to attack it all out,
because he really has to, with only two minutes to go
And the big question is, who will he change? </ P>
Who will be released? It could be Jaspers, Hegel or Schopenhauer,
but that is Wittgenstein
Wittgenstein who saw his aunt just last week
And here's Marx. Let's see if he can Enter some life into this German attack .
Apparently not.
Honestly.
Well now, with more than one minute remaining
a replay on Tuesday < br /> looks very important,
and there is Archimedes, and I think he has an idea & apos;
Eureka!
Archimedes went to Socrates. Socrates returned to Archimedes;
Archimedes came out to Heraclitus, he defeated Hegel.
Heraclitus had little? Ick & apos;
Here it comes, at the far post. </ P>
Socrates is there Socrates heads that! </ P>
Socrates has deteriorated,
>
Greeks went crazy
The Greeks would be angry, Socrates scored.
Got a beautiful cross from Archimedes, Germany debated it.
Hegel argues that reality is merely before? additional non-naturalistic ethics -
Kant, through categorical necessity,
holds ontological, it only exists in imagination,
and Marx claims that it is offside.
It's all over & apos;
Germany, after losing the famous English midfield trio
Bentham, Locke and Hobbes in the semi final, have been defeated by an odd goal.
And let's look again.
That's him & apos; Socrates.
Socrates heads it and Leibniz has no chance & apos;
And look at the happy Greeks.
That's where they are, "Chopper" Sophocles.
Empedocles from Acragas. What a game what he has.
And Epicurus is there, and Socrates,
Captain, who prints out what might be the most important goal of his career.
- Mr. Hilton - Yes. </ P>
You are the sole owner and owner of from the Whizzo Chocolate company? </ P>
Saya.
Parrot police and I are from Scotland Yard Hygiene hygiene squad.
0h yeah
Want to talk to you the chocolate box you produce </ p >
Good, yes.
If I can start from the beginning.
Number one is cherry fondue.
Now it's very disgusting, < > but we can't judge you for that.
Agree.
Next, we have a crispy frog.
& apos; M?
Well, I'm right in thinking There are real frogs here? </ P>
Yes, little one & apos;
Is it cooked
- No. < br /> - What? Raw frog
We only use the best baby frogs,
dew-pick and? itself from Swaziland.
Cleared in the best quality water,
killed lightly and sealed in. treble milk chocolate envelope
and full of love frozen with glucose.
That's possible, it's still a frog.
Now what's that?
Well don & apos; You even took the bone out? </ P>
If we take the bone will it not be crunchy? </ P>
Parrot police eat one of them & apos;
Do you excuse me for a moment, sir?
It's not right at this time...
Why didn't you say? why do you want to be forgiven?
Said crunchy frogs "pretty clear. </ P>
Well, people won't expect there are frogs here
They will definitely think These are some forms of artificial frogs .
Mock toad
We don't use artificial additives or any preservatives.
In the future, you will replace the description " crunchy frog "
with the words "crisp, raw, toad dead, not cooked, real, dead,
if you want to avoid prosecution
What about our sales?
Fuck your sales, we must protect the general public.
Now what is this?
Number five, cup of bladder ram -.
p>
We use juicy pieces of choice fresh Cornish bladder and decorate with mouse droppings.
Mouse poo
It doesn't say anything about the mouse poo in the box.
Yes that, at the bottom of the box,
after monosodium glutamate -.
Well, this isn't good enough.
In the future you have to put in this box < br /> big red stickers with words,
Di masa depan Anda harus meletakkan di kotak ini stiker merah besar dengan kata-kata,
"Warning, contains mouse poo.
Our sales will drop.
Well, why didn't you move? More conventional areas of confectionery,
p>
like cream of lime or strawberry?
I mean, look at this lot.
Cockroach group;
I: lips...
p>
Take the & apos box;
- Get the box. - No.
Take it.
And what is this? Spring Surprise
That is our expertise. </ P>
Covered in the darkest, darkest rich chocolate
When you put it in your mouth,
stainless steel bolts come out and punch straight through both cheeks.
Well, where is that pleasure?
Where are we ?? Can you remember?
0h yes
As you said, Boxing is straight through both cheeks. </ p >
Now where is that pleasure?
That's what I'm talking about now.
Beauty in that,
when people take choccy in their mouths, They don't want their cheeks torn apart.
Anyway, this is an inadequate description of sweet meat
I have to ask you to accompany me to Scotland Yard
This is a fair cop.
- And don't talk to the audience. - Why not?
This is against Part 28 from the Sketch Comedy Act.
Right.
Hello and welcome to another edition & apos; Blood,
Destruction, Death , War and Horror. & apos;
Later on the program we will talk to men who are gardening.
But my first guest tonight A man who speaks entirely in anagram.
T ams sex mesa.
Do you enjoy n?
Seq, sew skom cenmnv; 0d.
Yes, and what's your name?
p>
Hamraghamrac? </ P>
Well, Graham, it's nice to be on the show. </ P>
Where are you from? </ P>
Bumcreland & apos;
Cumberland?
Staht is sepricely.
Pan beautiful world
And I'm sure you're working on it an anagram version of Shakespeare.
Sey, sey, crreoct title. </ P>
Ta nimule I paddled in & apos; The Mating of The Wersh. &
By William Shakespeare? </ P>
Second thing,
Chamrent of Venice,
Two Nnetlemeg from Verona.
Have you ever done Hamlet?
Thamle .
"Beot, or botneot.
" That is nestiquo.
And what is your last project?
Ring of Kichard the Thrid .
I'm sorry?
"Gosh, shine!
" Dingkom me for shroe.
Of course, the Kichard Ring, huh , yeah.
But surely it's not an anagram.
That is spoonerism.
If you are going to split your hair I will be upset.
>
The current world seems really cracked.
With a nuclear bomb to blow us all the high sky.
There are idiots and idiots sitting on the trigger
This is sad and unreasonable
I like Chinese people
They copy everything they see
But they are above the moon
So, they will do what they want. </ P>
I like Chinese people
I like Chinese
They are still a little Communist
But Americans don't! need to worry
For China to have bought all their debts
I like Chinese food
The servants are never rude
>
Think a lot of things They have done to impress
There are Maoism, Taoism
I Ching and chess
So, I like people China
I like Chinese
I like their little tree
- That's Japanese - Oh yeah. </ P>
Their Zen, their ping pong
I like Chinese thought
Wisdom taught by Confucius
If Darwin really shouted
the Chinese would survive us all
Without a doubt
So, I like Chinese people
I like Chinese people
I like their tea and tai chis
Calligraphy them, as you can see
They dance easily
I like Chinese people
Their food is guaranteed for fun
14, seven
Nine and lychee
Everything is now.
I like Chinese people
I like Chinese
Yes. </ P>
Thank you very much, O2. </ P> p>
This is a break & apos;
I like to rest & apos;
-This is the best. I like that. - Shop!
- I always look forward to the break. - Shop!
I can go to the toilet. I really want to go to the toilet. </ P>
Ooh there is only one. </ P>
Yes, one to 16,000. </ P>
Sit down on my face and say that you love me
I'll sit on your face and say that I love you too
I like to hear you oralise
When I'm between your thighs
Sit on my face and let my lips hug you
I will sit on your face and then I will love you so much
Life can be fine if we are both sixty nine
If we sit on our faces in all the children where
And play until we are fascinated
Sit on my face and say that you love me
I will sit on your face and say that I love you too
I like to hear you oralise
When I'm between your thighs
you blow me away
Sit on my face and let my lips hug you
I will sit on your face and then I will love you so much
Life can be fine if both of us are sixty nine
If we sit on our faces in all the place children
And play until we are fascinated
And it concludes tonighfs broadcasting from Spam Lake,
pan of a series of new ballets for radio.
And now we present the first episode of of the new radio drama series
Death of Mary Queen of Scotland,
p>
Pan I, Initial
You are Mary Queen of Scots?
Me.
Oh no!
Episode two Death of Mary Queen of Scotland
I thought she was dead & apos;
No, not me.
That was episode two Death of Mary Queen of Scotland,
adjusted for radio by attaching a large nail on it.
And now, Radio 4 will explode & apos;
We have to watch television then.
Yes, we will & apos;
What's on television
Looks like penguins.
No, I don't mean what is on the television,
I mean what program
It's a little funny, the penguin is there, isn't it?
What it does
Position.
I can see that!
If you lay the egg, it will fall on the back television set
We have to see it.
Except it's male & apos;
Oh, I never thought about that.
This looks pretty butch.
Maybe from next door.
Penguins don't come from next door.
p>
They are from Antarctica.
Burma!
Why do you say Burma?
Oh, I'm panicking
Maybe from the zoo.
Which zoo
How do I know which zoo is bleeding?
I'm not David bleeding Attenborough!
How did David bleed Attenborough know where the zoo came from? </ P>
He knows everything. </ P>
I won't be like that, That will bring all the mysteries out from life.
However, if it comes from a zoo,
They don't brand animals & apos; Owned the zoo. &
You can't stamp a large Siberian tiger, & apos; Zoo property. >
They stamped them when they were little.
What happened when they curled up?
The Siberian tiger did not experience mourning.
No, but penguins did !
There, I have run the ring around you logically.
The penguin association.
Well, if it just leaves at 8:00
p>
and the chalk for penguins on the television set you explode.
How did he know it would happen?
That was an alleged inspiration.
If you are rude to me, I will turn you off.
And now, it's time for Home Beautiful with Gumby Professor DP
to give you some instructions art that is often forgotten set.
Good night!
Tonight, ower arranges.
First, take a group & apos; owers & apos;
Enough begonia.
Slice & apos;
Freesias.
Chrysanthemum m...-
... mother, mother
Then,
set it well in a flower vase. </ P>
Enter, enter, enter!
Oh, go in there
Oh, enter, enter, let's go a little.
Oh, m.
No! No! My brain hurts! </ P>
The case was postponed
Oh, I have morning bitch in the High Court -
0h, me too, love.
I can stamp my little feet, the way the QCs do it.
0h, don't I know that, love?
Objection here, there are objections,
and the good cop gives the proof well.
Beautiful voice.
- And what is the body. - Yes.
Well, in the end everything I can do Bro, my dear
What are you, honey
p>
I did me "Shut up in court" a little
Oh yeah.
If it looks like you can kill,
that prosecutor
How do you add it?
I'm sure they did it.
- Really - Oh yeah, bad devil.
I know what they mean by a well-hung jury.
However, I'm done very seriously.
"The actions of this bad guy are stains of violence towards the community
"and legal fines
" hardly enough to deal with their terrible crimes, "
What are you shaking about?
I waved my wig.
Very little
- Amazing effect - I'm sure it's
Anyway, I gave it three years.
Tell me, did you handle Cleese's divorce?
Very?
No.
That's how he walked.
Tell me, what do you usually give for sex in a public toilet?
Yes.
the event you've been waiting for, the show you've heard.
Oh yeah.
Kevin, that's my chair
What ? Will you sit down?
- Get out of the way. -Consider.
Yes, that's better.
Yes.
See them. What?
Get your choc ice cream, sweeties.
I'm not hungry.
That's more well.
Oh yeah, here it is, we go
Will the Ford Coriina owner, register OYR 312...
- Shut up -... please move the vehicle?
And we go back & apos;
Oh yes, yes. Yes, yes.
Oh yes.
Dear God, I have to go back tomorrow.
Sea eagles!
>
I don't have any ice cream, I just got this albatross.
Sea eagle!
What is that?
What? Now that is a bloody seabird, it is albatross
This is not arbitrary.
Sea eagles!
Everything is there?
Alright, this is the feeling of a bloody seabird,
it's bloody blood?
Sea eagle!
Do you get a wafer with that?
Of course you don't get the damn wafer with it!
This is albatros!
You're disgusting.
You even not the right woman.
Don't oppress me, buddy.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Racist!
Storm petrel on the stick.
Gannet in the basket
In the afternoon, bodyguard.
Good evening
Is your wife a fan?
Know what I mean, know what I mean, encouragement, encouragement,
know what that means, say no more?
I'm sorry?
Your wife, is she gone?
Is she, does she leave, huh?
Well, sometimes he has to go, yeah.
I'm sure he did it, I'm sure he did it, say no more,
say no more, know what I mean, encouragement, encouragement.
I'm afraid I'm not following you.
Follow me, follow me, it's very good, very good
p>
A nod is as good as winking at a blind bat.
Do you sell something?
Sales!
Oh, you're bad, aren't you, eh, huh?
Do you know what I mean? Say no more, evil, eh?
What? </ P>
I'm sure he did it, I'm sure he is indeed & apos;
Actually, he really likes cricket. </ P>
Like the game, huh? He likes the game. </ P>
I know he will do it, I know he will do it. He's been around a little, eh? ?
Well, he has traveled. He is from Purley.
Whoa!
Purley? Say no more, say no more,
say no more, say no more!
Good?
Is your wife interested in photography?
Phot09faPhY7
"Photos, eh?" He asked him consciously.
"Foto, eh?" Dia bertanya kepadanya dengan sadar.
Phot09faPhY7
Snap, snap, loud, loud, blink, flicker, encouragement, encouragement, say no more.
Holiday is locked?
Maybe they can be taken on holidays, you know
Swimming costumes
Dress up.
Candid photography, If You know what I mean, you know? </ P>
Behind the screen a little. </ P>
No, we don't have cameras & apos;
Still...
Listen, are you insinuating something?
Oh no! No!
Yes.
Good? </ p >
I mean, you are a world person, Your bodyguard, you know,
you are around a little, you know, it's already there.
What do you mean? </ P>
I mean, like, you know, you already... you've done it
You have slept with a woman.
Yes.
What is it like?
Extortion!
p>
Is your wife a goer, eh?
Know what I mean, know what I mean, encouragement, encouragement, say no more
Is it him, did he leave, huh? 0h, I'm sure he did it
Wink, wink, eh?
A nod is as good as winking at a blind bat.
Say no more!
Nudge, push, wink, wink, Nudge, push, wink, wink,
Is your boyfriend interested in photography?
"Photos, eh?" He asks him consciously.
Candid, you know, honest photography , eh?
Say no more!
Snap, snap, loud, loud, blink, blink, push, push, whoo, that's better! </ p >
Nudge, push, wink, wink, Nudge, push, wink, wink,
Extortion!
Nudge, push, wink , wink, Nudge, push, wink, wink,
Extortion!
Women and men, welcome to extortion
Stay from Tower Backroom, Blackpool.
Welcome to your host tonight,
Nobby
Hello and welcome to Extortion, the show people can't wait to turn off.
And first we go north to Preston in Lancashire and Mrs. Betty Teal. </ p >
Now, Mrs. Teal, this is for 500,
and this will stop us from revealing your lover's name in Bolton
So, Mrs. Teal, 500 tomorrow, please ,
and your husband Trevor
and your beautiful children, Diane, Janice and little Juliette,
who had a hard time at school < br /> at this time,
no need to know your lover's name in Bolton
How is that. Now, a politician, a freemason , former guards
and prominent supporters British People's Movement Movement.
Well, he has already entered a bit of his own dance.
In last week's program, he had the opportunity to pay and silence him,
But he thought he knew better. Now, we have news for him.
He thought he was in conferenoe addicts on Broadstairs &
Actually, he was backstage in our Blackmail studio & apos;
Bring him!
Hey! Castle Sir Norman Barry.
Welcome to blackmail
Well, you choose not to pay, so here you are now
in front of our 15,000 studio audience,
our fifty million global audience,
pay the price of the rights we know everything about you.
Now, your career is ruined, But the good thing is
Is he with us? Can we see it there?
Beautiful, thank you
Thank you for coming
Behind every strong people, There are stronger women.
You bastards.
Well, that's what they all say but it should be him --- </ p >
- Save it in his pants. - Save it in his pants.
Thank you, Sir Norman.
Now it's time to call, So bring the gold phone .
Last week, we showed you this photo of three middle-aged car fans
and asked them to send 30,000 to stop us from revealing their name
of the two girls from the garage,
made a car where they did it
and the type of engine oil they were used for lubrication. Good...
... we don't hear anything from them, it's time to...
- Fill in the puzzle! - Fill in the puzzle!
Let's see more & apos;
Boys are good, you're in blackmail
and now it's 40,000 each.
Well, they are either very brave or very rich. Leis saw that. </ P>
400,000 now, unless we hear from James or Richard or...
Hello, Hello Hello Jeremy, yes, how are you?
Yes, yes, I know. I'm sure no, no, no, no.
We are not morally condemning, we only want the money
If your check is in the post, you will not be in the Daily Mail.
Accept Thank you for playing Extortion.
Thank you. You too, jezza
Beautiful man
Very fascinated
Now, it's time now, Veronica?
I'm a celebrity or me?
Your chance to play games where We bring the mystery contestant
and you have to tell us whether you think
he's a celebrity or just a non-entity, so here he comes...
Celebrities or non-entities?
Let's start the hour.
The feet are famous, is that the foot of Simon Cowell?
Are the legs -You know this leg?
It looks pretty ordinary to me.
It could be an ordinary person from the street.
Can be a celebrity. Five, four, three, two, one.
Die with the bag. Oh my God!
WOW!
The mysterious international man himself.
This is the right time, but Mike, Mike. We are both Mike so I can Mike...
- Yes. - I can Mike with you
- you're blackmailed - Yes.
What's wrong?
You mean what happened right?
- Am I - I'm on stage with you, sir.
Well, we want you to confess, you know?
Because of blackmail, we know you're in trouble,
so if there is something you want to share with the audience, now is your time
I want to share how much I am very honored
for being on stage with Monty Python,
the world's largest comedy troupe English history
And...
There may be photos of from me with German Shepherd
- Oh wow... - Yeah.
He's a guy who is too good. Thank you for joining the program, Mike.
That's him & apos; ? GOOD.
Thank you and thank you all, daughter, for extortion
See you next week!
Congratulations night and welcome to another edition of Science Today,
where we see science now.
And today we are with Anne Elk,
- Mrs. Anne Elk - Missing -
- Miss Anne Elk - Miss Yes
Sorry. Miss Elk, you have a new theory about brontosaurus
Can I just say at this time, Chris, that's me Have a new theory about brontosaurus?
Exactly.
- What's that? Where? </ P>
- Your new theory - What is my theory? </ P>
- Yes. - What is my theory?
Well, Chris, you might ask me what is my theory
- I ask what your theory is - Very good, Chris.
- Thank you love. - place in
I said, yes Now, Chris, what's up, what is it, my theory?
Well , here it is. My theory, which is mine and what I have, belongs to me.
Yes, I know it's yours, but what's wrong?
- Where? - Your theory
- What is my theory? - Yes.
Here it is
This is the theory me and what is that too.
"My theory, by Anne Elk.
" Brackets, Miss, parentheses...
The next thing I will say it will be my theory
Here it is & apos;
You are ready, Chris
Yes.
My theory starts now .
All brontosaurs are thin on one end and then much thicker in the middle
and then thin on the other end.
That's my theory and what it is, < br /> and it's mine too and it's mine.
- That's it, isn't it? - Spot on, Chris.
Well, this is your theory, surely > seems to have hit the nail on the head & apos;
Thank you, Chris, thank you.
- Next week see the opening... - Thank you very much.
p>
-... from the new wasps... - Thank you.
And thank you for asking me to the studio.
You are very welcome Next week see the opening of...
... from the new wasp farm near Redditch...
... who will...
Next week see the opening...
I have another theory.
Called, "My Second Theory" or Miss Anne Elk,
"bracket, miss, second theory, number two
- Do you want to hear it? < br /> - Yeah well.
My second theory states that dentists can make your teeth dance.
Very? -See. </ p >
Yes, mother, it's time again Conrad Pooh and the dance tooth.
Please enter.
Difficulty in the factory & apos;
Oh no. What kind of problem? </ P>
One of the crossbeam's; s goes from skewing on the site. </ P>
Sorry? </ P>
One of the crossbeam's goes from skewing on the footprint. </ P>
I don't understand what you are saying. </ P>
One of the crossbeams has been lost from tilt on the footprint & apos;
- What does that mean? - I don't know.
Wenlworth just told me to enter here and said there was a problem at the factory, that's all.
I didn't expect some sort of Spanish Inquisition.
Nobody expected The Spanish Inquisition. </ P>
Our main weapon is shocking, surprise and fear Fear too. </ P>
Our two weapons are scared and shock and cruel....
Our three weapons are fear and cruel surprise and efficiency
and an almost fanatical devotion tom
Four, four of us
The... the... I will enter again.
I do not expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
are fear, surprise, cruel efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope
and a nice red uniform &
No, I can't do this, I can't say this. You have to say it.
- What? - A little about our main weapon.
I can't do that
Nobody...
Expect
Nobody expects Spain...
- investigation. - I know I know.
Nobody expected the Spanish Inquisition.
- Actually, they... - Our main weapon is...
- Surprise and... - Stop. Stop there, stop there. Good.
Surprise, fear, cruel efficiency, fanatical devotion to the Pope
- Cardinal Fang... - Yes, dear
Read the charges.
14 ducat for complete massage in...
No, no, no, indictment against him.
Hereby you have been charged what you did on various dates
doing heresy against the Holy Church with words, thoughts and deeds.
With relieved, 22 ducats.
Yes, no, that's enough, that's enough.
So... how do you beg?
Not guilty
p>
- innocent - Very good.
Cardinal Biggles...
Take the shelf
Tie him to the shelf & apos;
So
How do you plead?
Not guilty
Cardinal... give the shelf a turn.
-L... - I know, I know you can't,
I don't want to say anything, I just want to ignore your error.
- should I... - Just pretend, pretend for God's sake.
So, old lady, you are accused of from heresy with three counts.
Misdirection by thought, heresy according to the word, heresy by deeds and deeds by action.
Four, four, four counts.
you...
Confess?
I don't understand what I'm accusing & apos;
Then we will make you understand.
Cardinal, take him... to a comfortable chair. </ P>
So you think you can hang on the shelf & apos; You won't survive a comfortable chair. </ P>
So... old woman, you have one last chance.
Recognizing the sinful heretic,
rejects the work of the ungodly... Two, the last two opportunities ,
and you will be... three, the last three opportunities.
Confess.
- Confess Confess. Confess. Confess. - Recognize Confess. Confess. Confess & apos;
I admit
No, not you
I have one last weapon in my armory. If you don't speak...
- I will show you. . .kulkas. -No refrigerator!
Cardinal, go to the fridge and get him...
A big glass... cold milk.
Whenever life makes you go down, Mrs. Brown...
and things look hard or difficult
And stupid, annoying or crazy people
And you feel you've enough
Remember that you are standing on a developing planet
and spinning at 900 miles per hour
It orbits at 19 miles per second. So it's taken into account.
The sun is the source of all our strength we can see
moving one million miles per day
In the outer spiral arms, at 40,000 miles per hour
Our own galaxy contains 500 billion star
This is a hundred thousand light years side to side
This stands out in the middle, six thousand thick light years
but out by us it's just a thousand light-years wide
We are 40,000 light-years away from Galactic Central Point
We tour every 200 million years
And our galaxy is only one of millions and billions
in this amazing and thriving universe
di alam semesta yang menakjubkan dan berkembang ini
The universe itself continues expand and expand
In all directions it can be good
As soon as it can go at the speed of light you know
12 million miles per minute and That's the fastest speed available
So remember when you felt very small and insecure
How impossible is your birth? </ P>
And pray that there will be a smart life somewhere in space
Because there are all bugs on earth here
There are now many reasons why I found the song scientifically inaccurate.
It's really sad.
That statement The sun is the source of all our strength.
Well, take geothermal energy. It comes from the heat of the earth's core & apos;
It is produced, at least in part, by radioactive decay of uranium.
Uranium is formed in supernova explosions.
Then the statement that earth orbiting at 19 miles per second.
Alright, all right If the Earth's orbit is circular,
but it's actually an ellipse,
it's better to say that earth wiped out the same area at the same time.
Kepler knew that in 1609.
Then the statement of time space expands at the speed of light.
Well, there is an expansion period,
exponential expansion between 10 to minus 36
and 10 to minus 32 seconds afterwards Big Bang call, where
I think you are running around. </ P>
Remember that you are standing
on a developing planet and rotates at 900 miles per hour
It orbits at 19 miles per second, so it's taken into account
That Sun the source of all our strength
The sun and you and me and all the stars we can see
Moving a million miles per day
In the outer spiral arms at 400,000 miles per hour
In the galaxy we call the Milky Way
Work, work, money, money Work, work, money, money </ p >
Work, work, funny money Funny money, work, work
Work, work, fast, fast Work, work, worry, worry
Work, work, fast, fast Worry fast, work, work
Morning, morning, morning
Morning Jill, morning Jack
Can't complain, keep coming back
Morning, morning, morning
Morning Jim, Fred morning
Working all day until you die
Money is the root of evil
Money is the fruit of sin
Money is the root of everything
Use a suit, they will let you in. </ P>
Morning, morning, morning
What's the use and what's the point
Working until you reproduce
Boring, boring, boring
Working all day, get your bread
Until you finally fall dead
Money is the root of evil
Money is the fruit of sin
Money, money, money can make you angry
Ends in the trash
Work, work, money, money Work, work, money, money
Work, work, funny money Funny money , work, work
Work, work, fast, fast Work, work, worry, worry
Work, work, fast, fast Worry fast, work, work
Money is the root of evil
Money is the fruit of sin
Money is the root of everything
Pay or we will do it
Work hard every day
Work, work, do your life
Don't ask what, Don't ask why
Keep working until you die
Money is the root of evil
Money is the fruit of sin
Money is the root of everything
Grim Reaper comes in.
Life is silly path in the park
The knife in your throat opens after dark
Life is a terrible joke, a lark
Words that are spoken then everything goes dark
Money is the root of evil
Money is the fruit of sin
Robbing funny money will make you rich
How annoying and you can't win
>
Money is the root of evil
Never question why
Money is a fruit of evil
Work all day until you die
Hello & apos ;
Good afternoon sir, did you come for a fight?
Or do you want to blow a job?
Sorry?
You came for an argument.
- What other options? - no... no
This is only a special offer.
So have you been here before?
No, this is my first time.
Or are you thinking of taking a course?
Now how much does it cost?
This is 1 for a five minute argument, but only 8 for ten. </ p >
Well, I thought I would spend those five minutes and see how it went from there.
Good. Come see. Yes, try Mr. Barnard.
Thank you. Thank you.
Good people like that.
- What do you want? - Okay, me... 4
And don't give me that, you have a dirty face a pile of parrot droppings. </ P>
Cover your idiot, you tit. </ P>
Your type makes me vomit. You sly wet the bed smells.
Look, I came here for a fight.
Sorry, it's abuse.
- You want next door - I see. Thank you.
Not everything & apos;
Stupid dick
Hello. Is this the right space for an argument?
I told you once...
- No , not yet. - Yes I have.
- When & apos ;? - Just now &
- No, no. You don't < br /> - Yes I did.
I'm sorry. Is this a five minute argument? or half an hour full?
- Only five minutes. < br /> - Only five minutes & <; p>
Thank you very much. I do it anyway.
You definitely didn't do it.
Now let's one thing that is really clear. I must have told you.
- No, no. - Yes I did.
- Yes it is. - No, no.
- Just contradiction. - No, no.
- You are against me at that time also. You do... - I'm not.
Never. No, no, no, no, no & apos;
It's useless
- No, no. - Yes it is. </ P>
- I came here for a good argument - No, no.
You came here for a fight.
- But arguments are not just contradictions. - Yes they are.
No, no. An argument is a series of statements that are connected
intended to set a proposition. </ P>
See if I argue with you, I have to take a reverse position. </ P>
p>
- No, no, no, no, no, no. - Yes, yes, yes, yes yes.
The argument is an intellectual process.
Contradiction it's fair automatic advantage
of anything others say.
-No that. -This.
- Not everything . - Now look at I.
Thank you, good morning.
What? What?
That's it. Five minutes are up. </ P>
It's never been five minutes now. </ P>
- I'm afraid that - No, no. </ P>
Sorry , I'm not allowed to argue again.
This is ridiculous & apos;
If you want me to keep arguing you must pay five more minutes.
But it's never five minutes now.
This is ridiculous. You are there.
- Thank you very much. Very good. - well ?
What?
It's never been five minutes now.
I told you I'm not allowed to argue unless you pay.
- I just paid - No, no.
- I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. - You don't & apos; you don't do it & apos;
See I don't want to argue about that. </ P>
Well, I'm very sorry but don't pay. </ P>
If I don't pay, why are you arguing? Get you.
- No, not yet. - Yes I have.
- If you argue, I have to pay . - Not necessarily.
I can argue in my spare time.
I have two legs, From my hips to the ground
And when I move them they walk around
And when I lift it up They climb the stairs
And who! When I shave it They don't have hair!
I have two feet with my feet...
- Good morning & - morning
What do you have?
Now there are eggs and Spam,
p>
eggs, bacon and Spam. Eggs, bacon, sausages and Spam.
Spam, bacon, sausages and Spam.
Spam eggs Spam, Spam, bacon and Spam. </ P>
Spam, Spam, Spam, eggs and Spam. </ P>
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, and Spam. </ P>
Or lobster thermidor aux crevettes with mornay sauce
decorate with applause?, Brandy and fried eggs on top, and Spam .
Well there is Spam, eggs, sausages and Spam & apos; That's not much Spam in it.
I don't want Spam.
Why can't he < br /> eggs, bacon, spam and sausages?
There is Spam in it.
Yes, but not as much as Spam, eggs, bacon, Spam and sausages.
Listen & apos; Can I have eggs, bacon, Spam and sausages, without Spam?
What do you mean...
You can't have eggs, bacon, Spam and sausages without Spam.
Why not?
Well it won't be eggs, bacon, spam and sausages, right?
I don't like Spam.
Don't be noisy, honey. I will have Spammu, I like it.
I have Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam and Spam. </ P>
Roasted peanuts die &
Well, can I have Spam?
You mean Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam...
Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!
Spam is beautiful! Spam is beautiful!
Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!
Shut up!
Spam is beautiful! Spam is beautiful!
Shut up!
Spam is beautiful! Beautiful spam!
Shut up!
Spam is beautiful! Spam beautiful!
Shut up!
Viking bloody!
Racist bastards;
Finland, Finland, Finland
> The country where I really want it
Pony trekking or camping
Or just watching TV
Finland, Finland, Finland
That's the country for I
Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!
Oh, Spam
Beautiful Spam!
Oh, beautiful Spam!
Spam is beautiful! Spam is beautiful!
Beautiful spam Beautiful spam
Beautiful spam...
Beautiful spam! </ p >
Spam! Spam! Spam!
I want to register a complaint.
Hello Miss & apos;
What do you mean, miss?
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm cold.
I want to make a complaint...
Sorry we closed for lunch
Don't mind that... I want to complain about this parrot
what I bought wasn't half an hour ago from this boutique very much. </ P>
Oh, yes, the Norwegian Blue? </ P>
Is something wrong? </ P>
I say what's wrong with that
It's dead! That's what's wrong with that.
No no. He is resting.
Look at my child,
I know the parrot dies when I see it.
And now I'm looking around.
No, no, he's resting.
The outer bird normal, Norwegian blue, isn't it?
Beautiful feathers
The nurse doesn't enter it.
He's dead stone &
>
No no.
He is resting.
Okay then, if he rests, I will wake him up.
Hello, Mr. Polly Parrot, I have beautiful fresh food...
No, he doesn't, that's what you hit the cage. </ P>
I never & apos;
Hello, Polly!
Wake up! Wake up!
Where are we?
You said... "And now that's what I saw a parrot die."
Now that's what I call a dead parrot!
No no.
"No, no," I said. It's stunned!
Stunned?
Yes, astonished!
You were stunned when you woke up, Norwegian Blues easily stun.
Listen, my son , I already...
I've had enough of this.
The parrot must have died.
And when I bought it, no half an hour ago,
because it got tired and shagged out following a prolonged fight.
Well, he might be missing a fjord.
Seducing to the network? </ P>
Pembicaraan macam apa itu?
Listen, why did he fall on his back when I brought him home?
Norwegian Blue prefers to kipping on his back
An extraordinary bird, not ? Beautiful feathers -.
See matey. I take the freedom to check the bird when I get home
and I find the only reason sat on his perch in the first place
was it nailed there?
Well, of course nailed there! If I don't nail the bird it down,
it will be muscled to the bar,
tore it with a very strong beak...
and voom & apos;
- Voom? - Voom.
Matey, this parrot will be n & apos; l voom if you enter 40,000 volts through it -
This is bleeding off! </ P>
No.
No, no, he...
He is missing...
He does not miss!
He continues.
This parrot is no more.
He has stopped being & apos;
He expired and went to see Doctor Chapman.
This...
This is a parrot it's too late... it's stiff, loses life.
Being in peace.
If you don't nail it to a perch, it will push daisies.
It flows under the curtain and joins the invisible choir -.
It has its last breath.
The metabolic process is an interesting problem for the Victorian people.
He has... He has kicked the bucket
This is a former parrot.
I better change it.
I was listening to wireless this morning...
Very interesting, apparently,
Daily Mail editor, Mr. Paul Dacre just received an arsehole transplant.
p>
Yes.
I heard that
I also heard it. Arsehole refused, I heard.
- Oh really? /> - Yeah. </ P>
I've been behind, I've been looking
we came out of parrots. </ P>
I see, I understand, I understand....
But...
I have a choice of cheese.
It's amazing enough.
Choice of cheese?
- Yeah. - really
What do you have
you name it, I have that.
Brie? </ p >
No.
- Camembert? - No.
Jiresse wen Ne.
Stilton? </ p >
- Lancashire cheese - No
- Red Leicester? - No.
{Trouble Gloucester? -N 0.
Bad bishop
Don't call me name
This is a famous name West Country Cheese, you must know that,
You run a pet store.
Caerphilly?
No.
You don't have Caerphilly?
No. </ p >
Jsivensleydaie? -Yes -
I'll have one pound of Wensleydale cheese, please
Oh, sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
That's my name, Arthur Wensleydale.
- Gruy? Re? - No.
- Emmental? - No
- Jarlsberg? - No.
Keju String Armenia dengan biji jinten?
Not many call him here, bodyguard.
Indonesian rhinoceros milk cheese?
The cat eats it & apos;
- Tells you what. What? </ P>
You haven't asked about Cheddar & apos;
- Cheddar? - Yeah, Cheddar
You know
Is that feasible?
- It could be. - Okay, I'm playing
Do you have... Honestly expecting the answer "No," there is Cheddar?
No.
Do you want to go back to my place?
I thought he would never ask.
Oh, isn't it she is a pretty little...
Oh, isn't she a pretty little...
Wailing a little , buckaroos, this is far enough
No no No.
Remove. Remove.
Good evening sir and lady,
is truly a respectable experience to be here tonight
What is so beautiful and warm and an emotional moment for all of us
and I want to sing a song for all of you.
This is Christmas in Heaven
All children sing
This is Christmas in Heaven
Hark, hark, the church bell rings
This is Christmas in Heaven
Snow falls from the sky
But it's nice and warm, and everyone
Looks smart and wears a tie
It's Christmas This is Christmas in Heaven
Hip hips hip hip hip hurray
Every day
What is Christmas? </ p >
This is Christmas in Heaven
So welcome everyone
Just the same day
There are tons and tons of fun
This is Christmas in Heaven
You has won a lifetime lottery
For heaven like Vegas
And it's free
It's Christmas This is Christmas in Heaven
Hip hips hip hips hip hurray
Every day
What is Christmas? </ P>
It's Christmas This is Christmas in Heaven
Hip hip hips hip hip hurray
Every day
What is Christmas?
Number round two!
It's Christmas This is Christmas in Heaven
Hip hips hip hip hip hurray
Every day
What is Christmas? </ P>
It's Christmas < br /> This is Christmas in Heaven
Hip hip hip hip hurray
Every day
What is Christmas?
Women and men,
tonight this event will live around the world,
p>
is quite extraordinary
Including North America, South America,
Europe, Africa,
Middle East, Asia and Australia &
p>
On TV and movies, so wherever you watch,
please all join us, All the way around the world,
say goodbye to we by singing this song a little.
Some things in life are bad
They really can make you angry
Another thing just makes you angry You swear and curse
When you are chewing life-threatening
Don't grumble, whistle
Always see the bright side of life
Come on!
Always see the bright side of life
If life seems cheerful
Something is you've forgotten
And it's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
If you feel sad
Don't be a fool
>
Just listen to your lips and whistle That's the problem
And always see the bright side of life
Always see the bright side of life
For this life very absurd
And death is the last word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget your sin Give the audience a big smile
Enjoy it, this is your last chance however
Just before you draw your terminal's breath
Life is nonsense When you see it
Life is laughing and death is a joke, that's right
You will see all the shows Keep them laughing when you go
Remember that the last laugh is on you
And... Always see the bright side of life
Key change, here we go! </ P>
Always see the bright side of life
Yes!
Always see the bright side of life
Carol! Hey
Thank you!
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