He is arrogant, but he is kind-hearted.
He keeps a low profile, but he is admired and respected by many.
His slapstick comedies made him the highest grossing
entertainer in the history of Hong Kong's Box Office.
But where is he now'? And what is he doing?
No one knows.
However, there's one thing we can be certain of.
Every single one of you are here today
because of him -
Stephen Chow!
Control yourself
There is no end in revenge.
That's ridiculous. I, Wen Chao, hate people who
who smuggle, murder or cheat.
Come on, big potato.
I'll treat you to some yam.
Come on, I'm just an ordinary guy
He is God. How can I meet him'?
How amazing is that!
Lily, how are you doing?
It's the Axe Gang!
Pissing Beef Balls!
Yesterday, my neighbour Ah Ngau passed by the wet market
and heard that the fish seller said that he knew Stephen Chow.
I was shocked.
Then I was amused.
Because my mother went through hurdles after another
and finally got herself
a role in one
of the Stephen Chow's film.
She did not catch a glimpse of the legendary Stephen Chow,
nor get an autograph from him.
She then died of regret after she returned to Guangzhou.
Since I was a child, I trained myself to sound like Stephen.
Because I wanted to cheer my mother up.
I really want to meet Stephen
and ask for an autograph from him,
so to fulfil her last wishes
This belief in my heart for so many years
Like fireflies in the dark
So bright, so outstanding...
Are you out of you mind? You think you're a real star'?
What now? Are you coming or what?
If you don't come with me now, you don't get paid.
My dearest friends and neighbours,
thank you for coming. Thanks for coming to see me today
and celebrate my girlfriend's, Gigi's birthday.
Since we're in such good spirits,
let's watch our birthday girl play a game.
The best team will get
a big reward from me.
My dearest, who do you pick?
I want Nicolas Tse.
No way.
Come on...
Hurry UP-
Nicolas, you can do it!
I like you a lot, Nicolas!
Who are you?
Cam dawn...
He is really Nicolas Tse.
No way, he doesn't look anything like his father.
Well, that's his look from his latest movie.
You rascals.
Today is my girlfriends birthday
and yet you messed it up. You are asking for it!
You aren't leaving my village!
There is no end to revenge.
Stephen Chow?
Why bother?
Chao Chao.
What took you so long?
Because this morning 7th Auntie came to my shop to buy a chicken.
As you know I'm a butcher,
but I don't want to disappoint her.
Therefore, I went to the fish pond and caught her one.
They have chickens at the fish pond?
No, but they have fish.
Hey Butcher,
today's Monday, Gigi's with me.
What are you doing here?
Today's my birthday, I invited him.
Ifs all your fault.
You made me lose face.
I won't live up to my name if I don't slaughter y'all today,
Please don't...
Hold on a second.
Who are these people?
These Hong Kong punks are celebrity impersonators.
That's ridiculous. I, Wen Chao, hate people who
smuggle, murder and cheat.
Come with me.
What do you want?
Where are you taking me?
Come on bro, calm down and take it easy...
You are really a celebrity manager?
I am.
Do you know Stephen Chow?
Yes.
Take me to Hong Kong to meet him.
I guarantee that you'll be fine.
- Move. - Alright okay.
Let go of my men now.
Or else,
I'll kill him.
Please don't hurt my Chao Chao.
Finish him off. Don't have to worry about me.
You go on and try.
If he is hurt, I won't let you off.
That's right, Brother Kee.
If I die, Gigi won't let you off.
Since that's the case.
Why don't you just sent me to Hong Kong.
Since I'm gone, you can have Gigi to yourself.
Alright then, I'm not one who doesn't help a dying man.
Let them go.
Go now... Don't come after us.
Send them back to Hung Kong.
- Chao Chao. - Stay away or you'll be danger.
They won't hurt me.
I'll get in touch once I get to Hong Kong.
Wait for me.
Brother Chao... Thank you very much. If it weren't for you,
I would have died right then.
Take it.
Here... Fifty for you.
Are you crazy? That's a lot of money. Take it back.
No way... You helped me out, I owe you.
- Take it back. - Don't be silly. Take it.
Take it and we go separate ways.
You said you would take me to meet Stephen Chow.
Who could do that?
Did he migrate or something?
He's a superstar. Not everyone get to see him.
You said you know him pretty well.
- Do you worship any gods? - Yes.
- Have you seen them? - No.
- Do you know why? - Why is that?
Because you're an ordinary guy. How can one see a god?
Alright then.
So you're not taking me to see him?
If you don't take me there, I'll go find him.
When you see him, please say hi for me.
Hi Piu Hung,
Which celebrity lookalikes do you want this time?
Andy Lau, Chow Yun-Fat, or Nicolas Tse?
A Stephen Chow lookalike?
Bingo!
Where's Chao?
He went to Hong Kong?
I'll get him right away.
Approved. Yes. Approve every single one of them.
Everyone gets to be discharged.
Doctor.
What is it?
I want to go to Hong Kong, Approved?
- Approval granted. - Alright.
Why are you rushing to Hong Kong?
For big business.
Do you have any Hong Kong money?
Here, I have some here.
I have it too.
Same thing.
Do you have some loose change?
How loose?
As loose as you want.
Alright, that's enough...
- Thank you. Okay. - I'll take you there.
We both have great taste.
- Doctor. - How many escaped yesterday?
Six of them.
But we found eight of them.
Uncle Cheung,
what are you doing in my room'?
Practising my catwalk. I have a show tomorrow.
There are some reporters outside who want to interview you.
Please go outside, would you?
Do you remember my name?
Yes, Tony Leung.
That's right. I don't want them to know that I'm actually Andy Lau
so I called myself Tony Leung.
How could you ask me to meet the reporters?
Are you crazy or what?
I don't want to waste my breathe. I'm mad now.
"Grand Regency Hotel”
Brother Chao.
And who are you?
I'm sorry. I apologize for my strong language earlier.
I've thought it over.
Since I brought you here, it's quite irresponsible of me
if I don't take you to meet Stephen Chow.
Come on, I'm just an ordinary guy and I'm very simple.
I get tricked a few times a week and I'm used to it.
I can really take you to meet Stephen Chow.
But are you interested?
I told you I'm just an ordinary guy.
He's a God. I'm not qualified to meet him.
God loves his people. Don't you believe in God?
I just don't trust you.
Come on, I'll take you to a place
and you'll know that I'm not lying.
Where to?
The Eighteen Bronze men.
The Starry Stars Convention.
See, I'm not lying.
- It's amazing! - Of course it is.
Have a stroll through here.
I'll come pick you up later.
Amazing.
Lily, how are you doing?
The Axe Gang.
Is that a real blade?
The Flying Fairy!
Hey boss, can I have one please? Thank you.
Pissing Beef Balls!
You are Smart!
I'm Yu Fa.
I'm Keung.
Aren't you Ah Zhen?
- Let's go for a game. - Why not?
Who want to eat the Pissing Beef Balls? I will if you don't.
Who want to...
You lost three times in a row.
I know.
It's for you.
Thank you.
Hey kid. Stop right there.
Aren't you the Landlady?
Why did the water stop?
Tonight at 8. Come meet Stephen. Be on time.
S... Stephen?
Flyers...
Flyers.
He is arrogant, but he is kind hearted.
He keeps a low profile...
Hey hey hey, control yourselves...
It's okay, it's alright.
Calm down everyone.
I know that everyone wants to meet Stephen Chow.
Ifs easy to meet him.
If you can answer the following questions
regarding the man himself,
you will stand a chance
to meet him in private for 3 minutes.
Alright, delay no more. Let's begin. Question 1.
In his movie, A Chinese Odyssey,
how did the Longevity Monk tell a person from a demon?
Well, a person has a mother... A demon... also has a mum.
Who is this guy?
He used to be Ex-Chairman of the club.
He's challenging her?
Now my question to you.
What was supposedly the top ranked weapon in Bingqipu?
The Little Li Flying Dagger.
In the movie, Out of the Dark,
what was Leon favourite food'?
Orange in black bean sauce and watermelon with fermented tofu.
You are the fan club chairman indeed.
But I have an ultimate question for you.
In the movie, God of Gamblers ll,
The Gambling Saint made a video to seek God of Gamblers to
accept him as student and he left him his contact number.
What was the contact number'?
What was it?
If you can't give me an answer then I'll meet with Stephen Chow.
The number was 3345678.
I'll repeat. It was a Hong Kong number 3345678.
I don't care if you don't get it touch
because it's your loss.
Don't you call after 10pm.
Because I'll be in bed.
Am I spot on?
Congratulations! You've got the correct answer.
You have the chance to meet with Stephen Chow in private!
For how long?
Three minutes!
Mum, I did it!
You said you're taking me to meet Stephen Chow.
No thanks. Where is he?
To tell you the truth,
we didn't invite Stephen to come on site.
So meeting him wouldn't be possible.
You liar.
Can you please stop imitating his voice?
I can't. I'm sorry.
I can't help you with that.
As far as I could recall.
I sound just like him all my life.
- What can you do to me? - Alright then.
Since you know about the truth
can I ask you not to tell anyone about this?
No, I can't.
What's going on?
Brother, it's good that you're here.
This guy is a Stephen Chow impersonator.
- Help! - Come help me hit him.
I know him...
But I don't. I don't know this guy.
Stop it...
I know him. Don't hit him.
I know him. Let him go.
All the rules are on the board.
If you make any mistakes, you'll be fined.
Who are you?
I'm Tsui Siu. Brother Wah recommended us here as artistes.
Artistes. Any special talent?
I'm One-Eye Spin. Nunchucks is my specialty.
How about you?
You do martial arts?
Reincarnation.
Okay»-
$5000 basic salary, 20-80 split, any problem?
There's even a basic salary?
Of course, I'll collect it from you.
I need to pay for the phone bills when I get you the gigs.
I'll take 80 percent and you take home 20.
If I have something, I'll have Brother Wah call you.
Not bad.
I thought you might not be happy. Let's go...
Can you please take off that awful wig?
Don't act like Stephen again
Also, let me tell you one thing,
my sister hates people pretending to be Stephen Chow.
So please don't let her
hear your voice.
I'm quite envious of your sister.
She's the fan club Chairman.
She must meet him in private often.
If that's the case, she won't be so mad all the time.
Where's the toilet?
You're sitting on it.
Do what you need and rub it yourself.
We're almost there. Are we done yet?
Sorry Mum Pik. I'm still trying it out.
I want to see what colours look best on Pik Pik.
People would think that you're the superstar.
Get on with her makeup.
Okay»-
Mum, stop nagging on her.
We still have time.
Pik Pik, how about her.
Fan Jingjing. There's nothing special about her.
She always carries that look on film festivals.
I'm not asking you to copy her look.
I want you to learn her body language.
Look at her when she waves.
She doesn't move her arm at all.
She only moves her wrist.
She only turns her palm. You see that?
It's elegant yet friendly.
Is it that effective?
Of course.
The most important thing is that this was the way
she looked and acted before she filmed Translator 4 in Hollywood.
So you must copy and do what she did
at the press conference alright?
Director Tsui, why do you choose
"Foggy Mountain" as your topic for your new movie?
It's very simple.
I shot "Steamy Mountain",
And "Leaving Mountain".
I would like to shoot "Foggy Mountain" once again
and this time I'd like to introduce fresh elements to it.
It's sounds fresh indeed.
After all, it's about mountains, isn't it?
There are so many mountains in Hong Kong.
There's the Victoria's Peak, Fei Ngor Mountain,
and even Diamond Hill.
That's a good question.
Because this time, the focus isn't on the mountain
but it's on the fog.
I'd like to bring out the different emotions of fog
before our eyes.
Also, I'd like to present the sorrows and emotions of fog.
Do you understand me?
Your stuff isn't that difficult to understand.
Pik Pik, we heard that you're seeing your co-star.
Is it true?
It's impossible. It's only a rumour.
I heard your real boyfriend has a big nose.
And small eyes.
He is shorter than you.
What? Is it a crime to trip on the red carpet?
Pik Pik, watch your dress.
Don't shoot. Please stop shooting.
You're very late.
I don't know you guys.
Take him away.
What are you doing? Where are you taking me? Let go.
I have a ticket.
What is this about?
It's been a while since I saw you. You look pretty wrecked.
No, I'm good.
Really?
You call this good'?
What are those then?
Still water runs deep.
How about this'?
Beaming with radiance
Take a look at the one in the middle.
Ferocious.
What do you call this?
Sleepy and droopy.
Right on.
Why do you look so sexy today?
I was molested by your mother.
My mother?
Do you know who many times I've gone around in a circle?
What took you so long?
It's not my fault. Look, my watch has stopped again.
Come on, you're an artiste.
You shouldn't be wearing toy watches like that.
Of course not. You gave this to me when we were kids.
You're saying that
I haven't give you anything after we grew up then?
Have you eaten yet?
Yes.
How many times have I told you?
You're an artiste. You can't tell the truth.
If you hadn't eaten, say that you did.
If you ate already say that you're hungry,
Right. I hadn't eaten, so I said I had.
That's what I did.
Snarf this up.
I knew that you'd buy this for me.
What do you mean? I found it.
It was lying right here.
It's stinky, mouldy, rotten and dirty,
Of course you're going to eat it. Not me.
You said that we have to be honest between us.
But you aren't doing that.
What do you mean? That's the truth.
You liar.
- I'm not. - You are.
- I'm not. - Yes, you are.
No.
It's stinky.
I told you to finish it.
- What are you laughing at? - I'm thirsty.
You can't hear me'?
Scissors.
Paper.
Ms. Hung.
How's business with the men's products?
Condoms you mean. What up with the term'?
Trying to make it sound more cultured?
Are you looking down on me?
Who dares to look down on you?
Your condom company has gone public.
I brought along some celebrity lookalikes here today to celebrate.
I have a Stephen Chow lookalike.
What is the special occasion? Why Stephen Chow?
I'm pissed off with him.
I offered him 300 million to be my company's spokesperson,
but he didn't even reply.
I told you to get Andy Lau instead.
Right, I said to get Beckham.
Speaking of them,
where on earth are the lookalikes?
I'll get them right away.
You guys are finally here. Hurry up.
Still trying to be cool?
Hey... please go in Andy.
I'm coming too.
Do you know what to do'?
No idea.
Listen up.
There's an investor in there who wants to shoot a film.
She wants you cast for a role.
What is the film?
It's a tragedy. Just confess to everything when you get in.
What is my motivation?
Ms. Hung.
Stephen Chow lookalike.
I asked you to get Stephen Chow.
What is he?
You think I'm a fool'?
Piu Hong, I've let you down.
For all my life, I've gone through thick and thin.
I'm really tired of it.
If you leave me,
I don't think I could carry on anymore.
I like you.
I travelled all the way from Shandong to see you.
But you refused to see me.
I was heartbroken.
Hong, please don't die. Hong.
Hong, speak up. Hong.
Hong, open your mouth and say something, Hong.
Cut.
What do you think of my acting?
It's passable.
When does the shoot start?
What? You think she would invest in you just because you cried?
You're only an impersonator.
Hey, what's the hurry'?
Why did you do that?
It was just pretence. Just cheering people up.
It's the way it works.
You give the client what he wants.
What's the problem?
It's fine that you make me betray myself.
Why do you make me betray my idol? That was low!
Low?
Do you know who is the lowest low in this industry?
When no one finds you, no one knows you, when you're broke.
And you have no work for half a year or a whole year
you'll know what low means.
If you're in it, just make do.
Deal with it.
You're home so late my dear.
What is this? You think I'm a zombie?
Ifs been a while since I last saw you. You seem shorter.
Who is this grandpa?
What?
It's Chao's father.
Chao said that he's suffering from dementia.
He mistakes all his friends as his son.
You are Chao now.
What are you doing?
What are you doing, grandpa?
Writing couplets. Chinese New Year is around the corner.
Where's your benefactor?
What benefactor?
The one who is ugly,
short and stingy.
He has agreed to take you to meet Stephen Chow
and introduced you to acting.
He's not that ugly actually.
Don't make ii difficult for him, alright?
What are you talking about?
Didn't you forget? You've got to get Stephen's autograph for mum.
Your mother didn't live long enough for that.
It's great if you do get it. It's fine if you don't.
Okay, Dad.
Stephen.
I've let you down.
Taking my life is the only way to ask for your forgiveness.
As a useless bump,
you don't even have what it takes to cut your own wrist.
Why is the point of this?
What?
I usually out my wrist with the other hand.
Don't let me hear your voice ever again.
Hey watch out.
I drew this on according to Stephen's hand prints.
What is it?
Killing yourself for something so trivial.
I have been in the fan club for so long
and yet I haven't met the legend himself.
But I have hung on for this long.
People say that I'm silly.
No one has seen God before but people pray every day.
Okay.
Your father has come to Hong Kong to see you.
He's waiting for you at home.
Let's go.
What would you like to have'?
Anything.
We're putting in separate orders and eating at our own pace anyway.
Are you complaining? We've always been like that.
I'm saying the truth. I can't. Even pass you a piece of sushi.
That's all you're asking for?
Excuse me. What's wrong with you?
You've swap my orders with hers.
Change it.
I'm sorry.
What are you doing?
Nothing. What do you want to have?
I'll order for you.
And you'll order for me.
This counts as eating together' What do you want?
Seared Saury Sashimi and Seared Saury Sushi.
Do you want Seared Saury Ice Cream?
Do they have it?
Download the ltacho app before settling the bill.
There's a discount.
Don't wait for me. Please go ahead.
I'm off to the wash room.
What do you want this time?
Mum.
Great that you're back.
Here pick one.
What is it?
You always complain about not having a choice.
Here you can choose who you want to be when you grow old.
These women ended up like cos this they picked the wrong man.
This one married to an abusive man.
This one married a drug addict. She took drugs with him.
- And this one... - She is pretty.
Of course she is. Her husband gambled all their wealth
and she ended up as a hooker.
How could she get a good price if she isn't pretty'!
If you choose him, you'll be like that.
He's fine.
What do you mean?
You had a meal with him. And that's not a big deal'?
No, I just bumped into him.
You bumped into him?
I often fly to Los Angeles
how come I never bump into Michael Bay?
Mum, Cho Lam isn't a bad person.
He isn't a bad person?
I've watched this shorty grow up.
Excuse me, I mean he hasn't grown up at all.
He's good-for-nothing.
Why do you want to be with him?
You're a star. He's just using you to get famous.
Mum, don't say that about him.
He's been working hard on
looking for an investor for his film he wants to direct.
I've also been working hard on getting rid of him too.
I'm warning you. Stop hanging out with him
or else I won't let your mum off.
My mum? You mean you'?
You won't find him.
I know. I'm silly to have believe you.
It's alright. Sorry for imposing on you.
I'm heading home with my dad.
If you could get a hold of people close to Stephen,
you can get his autograph for your mother.
What? I said I would help you.
Tin Kai Man, Third Brother of Shaolin Soccer.
5-star proximity to Stephen Chow.
Hi, Mr. Tin, I'm Wen Chao.
I'm here for a casting.
You really sound like Stephen.
Here, read this for me.
China Ping An Travel Insurance
get insured online around the clock.
Instantly insured upon receipt of email.
Translation service is even available during your trip.
Give me a reaction v if you've won the Mark Six.
We don't have that in China.
Your wife just gave birth.
- First child? - Does it matter?
Yes, cos you'll be fined if you have more than one in China.
And there's a difference in the amount of the penalty.
So different reaction.
There's no penalty if your father died right?
What is the relation between me and my father?
He is my real father or is he my god father?
If he's my real father,
he'd leave me all his fortune.
Then I would be miserable but a little excited.
And I would also be a little helpless.
If he's my godfather
I won't turn up at his funeral.
Because his family may think I'll lake a share of his estate.
That's not a very nice thing.
Did I say something wrong?
You...
I'm looking for someone just like you.
You don't just say whatever others tell you.
Just like you, you must get into the character.
Analyse the character and find his motivation.
Here is a script.
I've circled your character.
I can really act in a film?
If I say you can, you can.
"Pile of chips”
"Chocolate"
- Those are non-living things. - Do you have a problem?
No, not at all.
My producer will work out the details with your manager.
Go now.
Mr. Tin, are you close friends with Stephen Chow?
Pretty close.
We've been busy. Haven't spoken to him in a while.
Wong Yat Fei,
the eldest Shaolin brother who is known for getting hit in the head.
4-Star proximity to Stephen Chow.
Elder.
What's the matter with you'?
I'm sorry. I'm just overwhelmed.
Chao, let me introduce you. This is Brother Fei.
Brother Fei, I'm Wen Chao.
I'm in the shoot today with you.
About the shoot,
you'll be reprising your role as Elder Brother.
Have you seen the storyboard?
Don't hit me in the head this time.
Of course not... Why would I do such a thing'?
You guys have a chat. I'll get ready.
You did it with my mother.
- What? - I have pictures to prove.
Be careful with your words!
I'm not married. Why would I get involved with your mum?
See for yourself!
The one of the left is my mum, this is you.
You were in a film with her.
You even gave her an autograph.
That's right. Brother Fei.
I'd like to ask...
- Say it. - I'm afraid you won'! say yes.
I'll do ii. What is it'?
I'd like to ask if you know Stephen Chow?
I work with him, Of course I know him.
Can you get me his autograph?
I thought you wanted money. Just an autograph?
I'll get it for you.
Really?
Come on, let's go get dressed.
Action!
Dashing Automotive is awesome. - It is awesome.
Dashing Automotive is great. - Freaking great.
- I'm Lamborghini. - Ghini.
Hey dear, don'! you have work today?
No, I don't.
That's right. Dad,
do you know
when I started sounding like this?
After the surgery.
Surgery? What surgery?
After circumcision. You did it twice.
Twice?
Was it that long?
Do you remember if the doctor said that if
I could get my original voice back?
He did' He said that could happen if the operated area
is under tremendous stress.
The operated area?
Since you like Chao so much
you can accept his voice, right?
I just can't.
I want to smack him every time
I hear his voice. I've no choice.
Chao's mum was like that too.
She didn't like me because I was short
but he accepted that in the end.
Really?
Wait a minute. You're talking about his mum?
Yes, his mother.
Do you recognise me?
Of course I do, or else I won't chat with you.
I know that Chao likes you a lot, doesn't he?
I know your name too.
You're Ella, right?
Who's Ella? I'm Cho Hung.
Cherie Chung?
Cho Hung.
You're Ella.
What Ella? Who is she?
He is he and S.H.E is S.H.E.
Bro, what are you doing here?
I've been so nice to you. Why did you do this?
L... l didn't mean it. I'm sorry.
I'm heading out to see a client.
I'll teach you a lesson when I come home.
Let me help you up. I'm so sorry...
It's all your fault.
It's my fault again?
Ms. Hung?
Why are you covering yourself? You've got a problem?
Ifs very minor.
So you were saying you want to
find an investor for your film?
Tell me what the story is about.
Of course.
The film is called "Thai night at midnight...
I went to a brothel on Portland Street".
It's about a nerd who
went to Portland Street one night
looking for a prostitute.
All of a sudden,
when he got there,
everyone vanished.
It's a comedy.
Are you kidding me?
The film title sounds pornographic.
But the story sounds like a tragedy
and the log line sounds like a horror film.
Yet you are saying that this is a comedy.
You're confusing me.
I'm so sorry...
I could actually change the story around a little bit.
How can I trust you to be the director?
Director?
My dear professional actors,
I have a very important announcement to make.
What's so important?
It looks like we are having a press conference.
"That night at midnight...
I went to a brothel on Portland Street".
I found an investor and I'm the director.
And you will be acting in it.
You'll have your own roles
with your own characters.
The best part is that
you no longer need to impersonate anyone else.
The main actor of this film is
Wen Chao!
No way, you?
Me?
Who is the main actress?
The main actress is...
I'll save that for later.
Damn it.
Don't be mad...
Since we are all so happy today,
I've decided to prepare a few lobster...
chips for everyone.
Damn it...
For you.
What is it?
I picked it up on Ap Liu Street.
You don't need to worry about my sis hitting you with this,
is that clear'?
This is amazing.
It really works.
Cho Lam, where has Cho Hung been all night?
Like you,
she is worrying about not getting Stephen Chow's signature.
The government is founding an Entertainment Museum.
Cho Hung wanted to apply for an exhibition hall for Stephen.
But she needs his signature for that.
But there's no way that
Cho Hung gets to meet him.
What will happen then?
The others will grab it.
We'll be doomed then.
Don't blame us joining Andy Fans Club. Cho Hung
Dear members from the entertainment and
news industry, thank you for coming today.
After a series of serious evaluation,
we have confirmed the exhibition halls for the stars.
Let's take a look.
You can see how the exhibition areas are distributed.
Most of the areas are allocated to different parties.
Since the portfolio for Stephen's fan club isn't ready,
their application hasn't been approved yet.
The remaining spot belongs to the Stephen Chow fan club.
Sc do you have
his signature now?
Stephen has been very busy lately
so he hasn't signed it yet.
Can I give it to you on a later date after he signed it?
Today is the due date.
If you don't have it, I have to give the spot to someone else.
Please... please give us another chance.
Phase...
Stephen Chow?
Yes.
I'm sorry.
I've been busy on set for the 108th episode of
Out of the Dark
so I didn't make it on time to sign the document.
I'm here today to sign it. Do you mind?
Not at all, please sign it.
Since ifs a done deal,
I'll have to get back on set.
I won't waste anymore of your time.
Application is completed.
Let's pack up and go.
We did it!
Hi sir, how can I help you?
Show me the most expensive watch.
May I know who it is for?
My girlfriend.
No problem.
How about the lWC's latest model, "Till we go grey together"?
It's exactly you ask for - expensive.
How much is it?
Only around 900,000.
If you really want to go grey
together with your girlfriend.
It's worth the price.
Money isn't the issue but
my relationship with her has gone a little sour.
I just want to get her a watch to keep it going.
Why don't you get this one
"Thin stream runs forever".
It comes with a never-ending calendar.
It's perfect for couples in a steady relationship.
It only costs 400,000.
To be honest,
we are on the verge of breaking up so
I just want to give her a watch as a memory.
Well I'd suggest this, "Separate ways we go".
Ifs only around 100,000 or so.
It's totally worthwhile as a memory.
What if I just not want
to ever hear from her again?
My dear friend, when it comes to relationships,
it's best to be tactful than not.
My last recommendation, 38,000' What do you think?
I'll take this one then.
I'll wrap it up for you.
Thank you.
What are you looking at? Haven't you seen pretty girls before?
I'm little shocked to see
you all dressed up like this.
Do Hong Kong people like to stroll on the beach like this?
This is all your fault.
You said you have something to celebrate.
Who knew that you're so old-fashioned to come to the beach?
I'm sorry. Well,
there's no beach in China.
Sc I wanted to take you out here
since we're in good spirits today.
Come on.
Can you please stop talking into this thing?
It's disgusting.
Alright
Since you helped me today,
I give you permission to use your own voice today.
Put this away.
You want some lip balm?
Lip balm?
Baby-
What are you thinking about?
I asked you if you want some lip balm.
Yes.
Here.
I got a buy-one-get-one free deal today.
This is for you.
That's it?
Are you out of your mind?
You're crazy.
In the broad daylight,
in such a public area
when everyone's watching,
do you think I'd kiss you?
Want a lollipop?
Yes.
You're so late.
I'm sorry. My mom's been pretty strict with me lately.
- I want to tell you something. - Tell me.
A director got in touch and offered me a role.
Are you retarded? You're an actress.
It's nothing unusual if you get an offer.
What's so special about that?
It's different this time.
How different?
Director Kong Lee contacted me.
He offered me a role in Lust and Boundary ll.
What? The film about the traitor raping the student
and then she got raped and she fell
in love with the traitor. Is that what you're talking about?
What? Are you the traitor?
You really got me this time.
You aren't pretty,
nor do you have a great body. And you aren't a good actress.
What role are you going to play? The traitor?
No, he wants me to play the student.
But I have to strip.
Did you consider how the audience would feel?
If kids saw that, they would be scarred for life.
Do you remember when
I accidentally saw you strip when we were kids
and I'm still scared till now.
But mum says that it's a very challenging role
and I could make it to Hollywood.
Don't do it. Say no to the offer.
I already signed the contract.
Cho Lam.
What are you looking at, you traitor!
What is it now'?
What the heck is that thing?
FBl's latest invention. The Anti-Riot Rubber band!
Not only that you can stop rioters from advancing
it could also be used as a weapon.
Enough.
The three of you are so handsome and strong.
Why work as bodyguards?
If I were you, I would get into the showbiz.
What are you saying?
Give me one of those.
Here.
Like a chicken.
Just like that. When you dance,
put a helmet on and dance like a chicken.
You'll gel famous.
With this chicken dance, you'll be famous.
Really?
You don't believe me? Try it yourself.
It's a kung-fu film.
Tony Leung really does know martial arts.
That's right. He's pretty good.
Which film you guys watching it?
- The African dub of Lust, Boundary' - It's good.
It's so old. Stop watching it.
We haven't seen this version.
Stop talking. Do you want ice cream or watermelon?
- What are you doing? - Lower some heat.
I'm drinking herbal lea. It's amazing.
- What are you doing? - Hey what's up with you?
Pick another movie!
Luckily we have Russian and German dub.
Let's watch the Russian dub.
By the way, did they do it for real in the movie?
What's the matter?
Why is he so upset? It's not him in the film.
We've watched this. Let's fast forward.
Where's the remote control'?
Courage? There's no need for that.
Mrs. Lee is investing in my new movie.
I want Pik Pik to be the leading actress.
Sure, I'll see if she has any availability.
She's got a slot in 2046, does that work?
- I want her now. - She can't now.
I know that you want her to appear in Lust, Boundary ll.
And so?
I may not be able to offer her as much money.
But she doesn't have to strip.
I can slowly compensate for the termination of contract.
You think I want her to appear in the film
just for the money?
What's that noise?
See for yourself.
Why does she moan like that? She's just peeling the orange.
Cos she's serious about her role.
There's a bed scene in Lust, Boundary ll.
She's afraid that she can't act it well
so she moans when she goes to the market,
when she sits in the car and
when she peels an orange.
See how serious she is about this movie.
If you care about her then don'! stop her.
The most I'll give her the orange
when she's done.
Please excuse me.
Ms. Hung,
you're here. Have a seat.
I'd like 10 introduce you my two business partners.
Brother Chau.
Brother Chau, I've heard a lot about you.
How are you...
I come from a family of contractors.
I hope I didn't scare you.
- Of course not... - That's great.
This is Brother Lok.
What an authoritative name.
I'm in the timber business.
I have a forest in Norway.
I'm sorry, I carry that because of my work.
Let's play a game!
Six.
I've discussed with them about your film.
They have decided to back you up and make it big.
You're wonderful.
Since you can get Pik Pik as the leading actress,
you don't have to use the lookalikes.
Let's have the real Chow Yun-Fat and Andy Lau.
That's right. Intellectual property is
very important in arts and culture.
The bigger the investment you put in film,
the more return it will yield.
Wouldn't it be too risky?
I'm a new director.
I'm not qualified to work with Chow Yun-Fat.
You don't have to worry about that.
I read in the news that Pik Pik is going to Hollywood.
As long as you can get her,
we'll handle the starlets.
That's right, have you signed the contract with her yet?
You're asking me that?
As of just now... I've just... met with her
face to face...
- I've done everything... Self-draw win!
No way!
You got that even when that's the last available tile?
I'm going to chop you into pieces.
I'll kill you.
Damn you.
Hey this is a Chinese new year movie.
I'm sorry... I'll smack my lips.
You little tile. You've been a bad boy.
How dare you get drawn by others.
Kill it!
I've checked it out. This is the best.
It's affordable and it works good. Get this car insurance.
- It has third party and full coverage. - Get them both.
What are you getting?
Chi Han wants to get a car. I'm showing him the insurance.
You're rich now'? You're getting a car?
You said you're hiring us as actors in your new film.
We can't take the MTR when we become famous?
We need a car for sure.
What about you?
You should be in a gig.
Why are you all gambling here?
I'm sorry, we've asked someone to fill in for us.
It pays so little and we have to travel so far!'
- We're scared too. Right...
I lost again.
I have arranged for you to be in a TV commercial!
I turned it down.
Come on, I'm a man and that's a sanitary pad ad.
I have really bad luck today.
I keep losing my bets in the horse race.
Do you all think that you don't need
other work just because you get 10 act in a film?
What if the film deal doesn't go through?
Gamble everything away! You three are addicted!'
Fat is the worst alright! Losers!
He's talking about you.
Why are we sitting so high up?
That way we can look higher and further.
The purpose of our press conference today
is to announce that my daughter, Pik Pik,
will be taking up the film role offered by Hollywood director Kong Lee
in "Lust, Boundary ll".
Ask any questions you may have.
Pik Pik, what makes you
take up this role?
First, ifs because this role offered by Director Kong Lee
is a new and fresh role.
It's a huge challenge for me.
I heard that you have some nude scenes in it.
Sorry, it's not nude. They are artistic scenes.
And I believe that under the direction of Director Lee
this will be a very good film.
Pik Pik, why don't you tell us about your rumoured boyfriend.
Did he give you any advice about this?
I'm sorry, her rumoured...
Of course I did.
Pik Pik will not be acting in Love, Boundary ll.
Hi everyone,
I'm Pik Pik's rumoured boyfriend
and I'd like to announce today that
we are going to get married.
Is that true, Pik Pik?
Of course not, we don't know him.
Watch what you say.
If you have any questions, ask her.
- Pik Pik... - Please explain.
He's speaking nonsense.
Pik Pik, l...
What are you doing? Why are you moaning?
Don't say anything.
Pik Pik.
I don't care what you said out there.
My mum can explain it all.
If you want them to believe our relationship
moan with me.
She's fine... she's just having a tummy ache.
I got an investor and I'm the director.
You can be the leading actress in my film.
It is a rare opportunity.
Don't you understand?
I don't want you to strip in front of the camera.
But I want to try.
I can only help you this much.
Pik Pik, come out.
She's fine... please stop shooting. She's fine.
Alright, please excuse me.
What was she doing in the restroom?
- Having a gathering. - A gathering?
Everyone's here.
I heard that they want to use the real starts in the film.
Is that true?
News spread fast, doesn't it?
How about your actors?
Whatever.
If you have a real Prada purse,
would you want a fake one'?
But you promised the boys.
Don't worry. You'll be in it.
That will happen for sure.
How can you talk like that to your benefactor?
Stop drinking...
What are you doing? You really think you're my dad?
Dad!
He's fine. He fell asleep.
Is it true that Stephen Chow has contacted me several times?
You're afraid if he signs me, no one would help you make money?
Do you know how much his autograph mean to me?
You said you'd help me.
So what? Am I obliged to help you?
I won't let you see him.
What are you going to say?
You're messing with me now, eh?
Then you can forget about being a director!
I'll make sure of that.
I'm so scared. I'm petrified.
Ms. Hung, why do you bring me here today?
We're giving you money today.
Bring it here!
I have the film contract ready.
Sign here and you'll get the cash right away. Sign it.
It doesn't need to be in such a rush.
What is wrong with you? You don't want the money?
Ifs not that. He just dares not take it.
Because he can't secured Pik Pik as the leading actress.
Not that I can't do it. I just haven't done it yet.
What if I don't act in it?
Are trying to mess this up?
You're the one who betrayed us first.
Hey kid, who are you?
Don't worry about them. They are just lookalikes.
You think I can't do it without you guys?
I don't need you guys at all.
What did you say?
- Say it again. - Just call it quits then.
Shut up. Say no more.
- Get in the ring. - Good idea.
Bring it on.
You think you're really a superstar?
You're just a butcher.
Ifs better than you, you traitor.
Stop talking. Hit him...
- Get him! - Come on.
Don't just stand there. I'm right here. Come on!
I'll give you a few good smacks.
What are you waiting for?
Damn you, I'll go to crack your head open.
Hey it's a Chinese New Year film.
I'm sorry...
If you must, throw this at them.
- Who's the bad boy? - Here comes the money! Here!
Who's the bad boy?
The money will go to
whoever that wins the fight.
Shallow.
Isn't it happier?
Of course, it's lucky money!
Hello?
Really? So great, see you later.
Here's your money...
You guys can stop fighting.
None of you get to be in this film.
Stephen Chow's company just contacted me.
They want us to sponsor his new film.
You can take the money in the ring as compensation.
Take the fakes with you and get lost right away!
My dear, can you look and see if they look nice?
Nice.
Dad, you recognise me?
Of course I do. You're my son.
Check if we have all the new year goods.
We have to get on the train first thing in the morning.
What? Where are you going?
I've shopped for the new year. We're returning to Guangzhou.
Check this out.
How did this happened?
He helped you. You've wronged him.
But he made me lose the chance to be a leading actor.
Have you heard the story about a crab catcher?
Crab catcher?
I'll tell you the story.
Long ago, there was a businessman.
He met a crab catcher by the river.
He was an excellent crab catcher.
He said to him, how about I sell you my boat?
Thai way you can hire more people
and expand your business.
The crab catcher said, "Why would I expand my business?"
The businessman said, "Then you work at your leisure."
The crab catcher said,
"Don't you think I'm working at my leisure now?"
The moral of the story is
you're here to catch crabs
but you went to fishing instead.
One must not forget his origin.
Don't forget what you came for, alright?
Dad.
I know what to do.
Remember to thank him when you see him.
Where did you put the sanitary pads?
Ifs here again?
What again? When did it happen before?
Thank you.
Tell me. Do we entertainers
have to live a life like that?
When someone asks me,
I'll tell him.
I'm asking you now.
But no one came.
I've been waiting and helpless. I have something to say.
I don't get any attention.
I'm feeling hesitant, like a bottle waiting to be opened.
There's moss growing in my mouth.
Keeping my silence in a crowd doesn't get me any attention.
And I have to make an accident.
"Like suddenly singing"
"Holding concert in everywhere"
"wearing the most twinkle clothing"
"and to sigh with emotion"
"remember to get pose when taking photograph"
"I always show exaggerated"
"just because I am fear”
"if I look like a wood or stone,"
"can I get the attention?"
"am I hysteria enough?"
"let's using the tear to shower the flowers"
"and just want to make you surprise"
"I was not being taken seriously”
"let's aggravated bets"
"I am too angry and please tell me"
"ls everything still existing?"
What is it?
You asked me to investigate on this.
These are all your selfies.
Look carefully.
Here's your beloved Chao Chao.
Wasn't he taken to Hong Kong by that man?
Why is he with a girl?
I've got a hold of them.
They will go to the opening
of the Hong Kong Entertainment Museum.
What should we do now?
Driver. Stan the car.
I'm going to catch the adulterous couple!
Where have you been? I can't get through you cell phones.
What's the matter, Dad?
Big news. The Fat Girl is here.
She knew that you're seeing Cho Hung and she brought a bomb
and captured Cho Hung in the Entertainment Museum.
She is going to kill her and herself.
How did you find out?
It was on the TVB news.
Well, TVB news isn't reliable.
It was on ATV too.
We're doomed.
Don't worry. CNN reported the same thing.
So I'm thinking...
What is going on? What's going to happen?
The bomb hasn't blown up yet.
Fat girl said that she would only set it off when she's full.
Then we still have some time
because that girl can eat a lot.
- Very well then. What's the latest news?
The cops have surrounded the area.
But since they couldn't get in,
they sent the hygienic officers.
Hygienic officers?
That isn't right' Hygienic officers deal with hawkers.
They sent the SDU.
Oh no. If it's the SDU,
both Cho Hung and Fat Girl are in danger.
Why don't you get back with Fat Girl if you care so much about her'?
That way my sister would have been fine.
Let's leave it to the SDU then.
She's my sister.
Don't waste any time. Go right away.
Let's move. We'll change first.
Toilet's that way. The main door is over here.
Chow Yun-Fat and Nicolas Tse are here.
Andy Lau too!
Go ahead and distract her.
I'll go steal the bomb.
What are you looking at?
You already had Chao Chao.
Now you want my pig?
Dream on, bitch.
You're wrong. She didn't have me.
Finally you show yourself!
Gigi, let me explain.
What's there to explain?
I have photos of you together.
You said you were kidnapped?
You actually came here to be with this bitch!
Actually, you're the only one I love all along.
You're lying.
I'm not...
My love for you
is like one... well...
It's like a tray of hot egg tarts laying in front of me.
And I didn't treasure it.
When I wanted to eat them,
they are already cold and hard.
I'm terribly regretful about that.
You're lying!
Tart of course, is 10 put the cool thing was delicious
Well this is just to make an analogy
I Should say
If Heavens would give us another chance
We'll be... together... forever, alright?
No way...
It's not here...
Special News Reporting
there is a woman hostage incident
at the Hong Kong entertainment scene Museum Opening
Among the trapped people, including a man surnamed Wang
The man has been confirmed
Once before with movie star Miss Bibi
pass over scandal
Why did this happen?
Who are you calling?
- Cho Lam. - Why call an useless guy?
It's net your business. The police will handle it.
- Stop the car. - What are you doing?
- I said stop the car. - Stop it.
- Don't stop. Keep going. - Are you crazy? Stop it.
- Stop it! - What are you doing...
You hit her. Are you crazy?
Stop the car.
Pik Pik...
Go to hell.
Pik Pik.
Mum.
Can you lend me the car?
Send me to the airport, and you can have it alright?
Stop right there.
Gigi!
To be honest,
you left something very important inside my heart.
You don't believe me?
Dig it out and have a look. Here!
Okay.
The Flying Fairy Sword is the sharpest weapon in the world.
The blade measures 3X3
and weighs 6 catty and 4 tales.
I found it.
Super hard glue.
It glues everything instantly.
Brother.
The Ultimate Trunk!
The No. 1 Weapon used by Agent Ling Ling Qi.
Step on it!
The Ultimate Trunk!
Ifs good to see you here.
Run! There's a bomb?
Cho Lam!
What are you doing here? You should be on the plane.
I can't leave you behind.
I love you so much and why do you treat me like this?
It must be because of this bitch!
- I'm going to kill her! - No!
Tricky Gun. It fires alternating shots
which leaves the enemy clueless and helpless.
The bomb is about to blow up.
I'm not going anywhere.
You like me because of my voice.
I'll just poison myself until I become mute okay?
That's not possible. It's all because of this bitch.
I'm going to kill her.
Go ahead and kill me then!
I felt inferior all along. I'm selfish.
I shouldn't spoil your bright future.
I've really let you down.
There's something I wanted to tell you for a while.
I know that I'll never be the Stephen Chow in your heart.
But you'll always be the turkey in my heart.
And you.
I don't have anything to leave behind for you.
I've never been famous in my life.
Shoot a clip for me
and upload to YouTube.
I'll die with you. I won't leave you.
Ifs going to blow up...
Maoming Fireworks Company.
'Sis! 'Bro!
You're fine...
Why is she lying there?
She got shot by the
Tricky Gun.
Is she dead?
She passed out.
That's right. She's so fat.
She'll live even if she shot herself.
You guys turned over a new leaf? You're so good to Chao's Dad?
Of course they are. Because I suddenly remembered
why I came to see my son.
I actually struck the lottery in Guangzhou.
200 million.
He has already agreed to make a film with us in it.
Dad, don't do that. Why make a film when you're already rich?
People say, "If you have too much money, make a film.“
"if you want to lose all your money make a film."
"If you want to lose your family, make a film."
- No way. - Please don't make a film.
But that's not the saying here,
We say, "If you want to be rich, make a film."
"if you want to have a happy family, make a film.“
"if you want to have kids and grand kids, make a film.“
"If you want to buy a house, have a baby and be famous,
make a film..."
Alright then, we'll make a film then!
We'll make a film and you'll be the leading actress,
That's worth a kiss.
Kiss her, kiss her.
Congratulations... Have a baby...
This is a comedy.
But in order to make ii more artistic,
I added some tragic elements to it.
And most importantly, it will be suspenseful too.
Happy New Year! Here...
Make more money this year. Everyone gets one, so do you.
Wedding invites!
Congratulations!
You're getting giving out the wedding invites!
Of course. Here you go...
I wish you a blissful marriage and have a baby soon!
I wish you a happy relationship and may it last forever!
So who else is going to be in the film?
Taiwanese boy band, LOLLIPOP@F!
Congratulations!
May you have great luck in the year of the goat!
Happy New Year!
Who wants to eat spicy sushi?
I'll eat it.
Happy new year!'
May you have a delightful new year
and most importantly, great luck!
- Andy? - Andy?
Happy New Year. I'm Dada.
The best of luck, the best of luck and the best of luck!
Happy New Year!
Hi everyone, I'm Ella. Ella Chen.
New year is here, I wish you a very lucky year of the goat.
Always happy and a smooth new year ahead.
90
Why are you so late
Boss, so sorry that
I need to go in your shop again
you are our member, it's alright
Hi, I'm Wen Chao.
I'd like to wish you a happy new year.
Oh no! I mean give me a red packet!
Oh no! help!
Hi, I'm Wen Xiang.
Happy new year and may you have a prosperous new year.
I'm Xia Dehua. I'd like to wish you a
happy new year and may you have a prosperous new year.
Get rich!
Jimmy Lin?
Hi, I'm Jimmy Lin
If you're Jimmy Lin, then I'll be Aaron Kwok.
Hi, I'm Ng Wai Lok.
I'm Owen Cheung.
I'd like to wish you a happy and healthy new year.
I'd like to wish you a healthy and lucky new year.
Last but not least, a great box office results
for Lucky Star 2015!
- What is it? - Chi Lam?
I'm Cm Han.
Hi, I'm William.
Happy New Year.
Hi, I'm Awayne.
Happy New Year!
I'm Fabien. Happy New Year!
What is it?
Hi everyone, we are LOLLIPOP@F!
Happy New Year!
Hi everyone, happy new year!
May you have a lucky year in the Year of the Goat.
Lucky lucky and even more lucky!
Super!