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Improved By: Fidel33
Sub Upload Date: October 17, 2015
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(GRUNTS)
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I'm sorry.
4
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- Oh, it's okay.
- I'm sorry, baby.
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00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,005
- I'm sorry.
- Fucking shoulder.
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00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,524
Keep going.
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00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:58,930
That's helping.
8
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Never.
9
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,724
Just a little bit. Just to clean it up.
10
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,086
I'm not cutting it.
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00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,163
But you'd look so hot with short hair.
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00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,129
- Oh, would I?
- Yeah.
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- Thank you.
- (CHUCKLES) No, no, no...
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Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.
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You are hot.
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You are the hottest.
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- Keep going.
- You and your gorgeous,
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thick, long hair.
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- Continue...
- I just fucking love the way it's long.
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Yeah?
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Happy Father's Day, Daddy!
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Kids, we said after breakfast.
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I want cake for breakfast.
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Wow! Chocolate with sprinkles!
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My favorite.
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Happy Father's Day!
27
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- Open it! Open it! Open it!
- Open it! Open it! Open it!
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I am, I am.
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00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,006
I like building up the anticipation.
30
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Oh, you guys...
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- You like it?
- I love it.
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Muah! I love it.
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- Thank you.
- Mom helped us.
34
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No, I didn't. It was all their idea.
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- Right, kids?
- BOTH: Right.
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- Cake! Cake! Cake!
- Cake! Cake! Cake!
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- Okay, okay.
- Cake! Cake! Cake!
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Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
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Oh, look at that beautiful looking cake!
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- (SCREAMS)
- Ah...
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Who did this to monster!
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- (GRUNTING)
- (SHRIEKING)
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(CHUCKLES)
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Oh, you can't hide from monster!
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Monster can smell you!
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JAKE: Run! Run! Monster's coming!
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- (GROWLING)
- (LISA SQUEALING)
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Argh!
49
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Monster made kids disappear.
50
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And...
51
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Monster wanna finish what we started.
52
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Too late, the kids are awake.
53
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Monster sad.
54
00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,926
I'm sure monster can wait till Monday.
55
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Monster been waiting three weeks.
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00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,648
Yeah, but with the kids
and my exhibition
57
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,524
I cannot keep everybody
happy all the time.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
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Monster doesn't want to start a fight.
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Okay. Sorry, me neither.
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I promise we'll finish this
as soon as I get back.
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Oh, monster happy.
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- Monster happy.
- (GIGGLING)
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Monster very happy.
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- (GROWLING)
- (CHILDREN LAUGHING)
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(SPEAKING SPANISH)
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Yeah, Mommy.
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- Gracias.
- De nada.
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- Everybody packed?
- Yeah.
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Monkey, good boy.
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00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,766
Dad, why can't we take
Monkey to the beach with us?
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00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,166
Yeah, you know he loves the beach.
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00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,971
Monkey needs to stay here
and keep your dad company
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so he doesn't stay
all alone during the weekend.
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- That's unfair.
- Knock-knock.
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KIDS: Hey, Louis!
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Hey, guys, hot off the presses.
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(SPEAKING SPANISH)
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- What's going on, Louis?
- What's shakin'?
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What's going on, little guys?
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00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,051
Mr. Webber, how are you, sir?
82
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Morning, Louis.
83
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I'd offer you a hand, but all
I can lift is this coffee.
84
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:11,650
Oh, that's what happens when you try
to impress girls in the bat cage.
85
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I wasn't flirting,
I was being a gentleman.
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Yeah, I'm sure she was
a poor helpless 25-year-old.
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Yeah, helpless.
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(KAREN CHUCKLES)
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Do you know what this is?
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Is it a Father's Day present for Daddy?
91
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,564
No. No, this is Mommy's catalog.
92
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Assuming they got the color
right this time.
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Oh, let's hope.
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LISA: I think they did.
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(SPEAKING SPANISH)
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It's a little bit magenta,
but it's almost perfect.
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- What's magenta?
- This color.
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Honey, it's perfect.
99
00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,529
Mom, can Louis come
to the beach with us?
100
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Yeah.
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00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,091
No, Louis needs to stay here
and do some work.
102
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Just like your daddy.
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That's correct.
104
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I have to come back with all
the alcohol for the super-secret
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Father's Day party that me
and your dad are gonna have tonight.
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Louis! Shh!
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- Oh, come on.
- You're not having a party.
108
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I'm not having a party,
I'm working very hard.
109
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Did you pack your gun?
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- BOTH: Yes.
- Did you pack the bomb?
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- Yes.
- Have you packed the cannon?
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00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,202
- JAKE: Yes.
- Have you packed the chainsaw?
113
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You didn't pack the chainsaw?
114
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Go get the chainsaw, man!
115
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,809
The cement still hasn't dried, but it
should be fine by tomorrow night.
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Okay.
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Still, it's extremely fragile
and I don't trust those movers
118
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after the mess they made at the gallery.
119
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Mmm-mmm. No, I'll take care of it.
Don't worry.
120
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Okay, gracias, I'll have it
all packed up for you.
121
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Okay.
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It's almost dry though.
123
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,209
Yeah, so I'll just text you
when it's at the gallery.
124
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Don't worry about anything,
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I got it all under control.
You have a good weekend at the beach.
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Enjoy yourself. I'm out.
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Gracias, Louis.
128
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- Mr. Webber, I'll see you tomorrow.
- Thank you.
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I mean, "tonight"
for the super-secret party.
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- Louis...
- See you, kids.
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- Bye, Louis.
- Super-secret party?
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- Super-secret party.
- Okay.
133
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Is this the last one?
134
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- You like it?
- I love it.
135
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,128
- Good.
- I think it should be bigger.
136
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,841
- (CHUCKLES) You think so?
- Yeah, then we can get the pool.
137
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,651
Okay, I'll do it bigger next time.
138
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:13,564
I told Vivian tomorrow at 2:00.
139
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I don't need her therapy
anymore, it's healing.
140
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,725
Tell that to your shoulder.
141
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,611
Dad, are you sure
you can't come to the beach with us?
142
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I would love nothing more, sport.
143
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,404
But if Daddy doesn't work this weekend,
we'll have to live in a box.
144
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,085
Do you guys want to live in a box?
145
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:28,526
- No.
- No. Not really.
146
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Me neither. Unless I designed it.
147
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,000
Okay, say goodbye to Daddy.
148
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,605
Bye, Daddy.
149
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Say goodbye to Monkey.
150
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,170
BOTH: Bye, Monkey.
151
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,971
Daddy, don't forget to send all
your party pix on Instagram.
152
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Okay.
153
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:42,806
Call me when you get there.
154
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,689
I will. I love you.
155
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,365
- I love you.
- I love you.
156
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,531
Bye, guys.
157
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:49,488
- Bye.
- Bye, Daddy.
158
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JAKE: Get a haircut, Dad!
159
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:03,810
Well, Monkey...
160
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,167
Looks like it's just me and you, kid.
161
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(THUNDER RUMBLING)
162
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,482
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
163
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(PHONE RINGING)
164
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(MUSIC STOPS)
165
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,250
Hey, baby.
166
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:31,642
How's the house?
167
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,484
Hi! It's perfect.
168
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,371
Look. Kids, say hello to your dad.
169
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,010
- BOTH: Hi!
- Hello.
170
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,604
All it needs is you.
171
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,208
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
172
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:52,846
Miss you.
173
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:54,965
Good night.
174
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,410
(TURNS MUSIC ON)
175
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(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
176
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,525
(MUSIC STOPS)
177
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,085
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
178
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,526
(BARKS)
179
00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:24,650
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)
180
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,210
Who's there?
181
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,488
GIRL: Just one second, sir, please.
182
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,522
- Hello?
- Could I use your phone, please?
183
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:41,766
Yes?
184
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,530
We're so sorry to bother you, sir,
185
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,160
but could you please tell us
where the Gregorys live?
186
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,481
This is the third house we've tried.
187
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,569
Looks like everyone's gone
for the long weekend.
188
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,849
The Gregorys?
189
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,085
No, I don't know anyone
around here by that name.
190
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,569
What's the address?
191
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,331
Um,
192
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,130
I honestly don't know.
193
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:07,891
My phone got wet
and she left hers at her house.
194
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:11,761
The taxi just dropped us here. We've been
walking around for, like, 20 minutes.
195
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,526
Yeah, my feet are, like, dying.
196
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,043
Well, I'm sorry.
I'm afraid I can't help you.
197
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:26,526
Bless you.
198
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,091
(GIGGLES)
199
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:33,405
Here.
200
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,405
Thank you.
201
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,765
Well, if you guys want
you can come in and use my phone.
202
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,366
Oh, thanks, but...
203
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,727
All our contacts are on our phones.
204
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,771
I... I don't even know my own number,
can you believe it?
205
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,968
Maybe Ashley's on Facebook chat?
206
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,605
Ah, genius.
207
00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,443
Actually, would you mind
if we just used your computer for a sec?
208
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:02,805
We don't want to impose.
209
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,447
We'll just get the address
and be out of your hair.
210
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,888
Yeah. Sure.
211
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,087
Come in.
212
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,445
Thank you.
213
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,603
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
214
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,486
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
215
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,563
No, it's fine. Don't worry.
216
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,085
Oh, I don't mind.
217
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,248
We don't want to mess up your house.
218
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,402
Yeah. Excuse me.
219
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,688
Um, thank you so, so much.
220
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,491
- I know this is so random.
- It's fine.
221
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,527
Hang on, I'll get you
an iPad and some towels.
222
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,250
Thanks.
223
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,810
GIRL: Nice house.
224
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,764
Thanks.
225
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,331
Girls?
226
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,005
BOTH: We're in here.
227
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,609
I'm so sorry, it was warmer here.
228
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,091
Hope you don't mind.
229
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,481
We were freezing.
230
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:28,766
Here.
231
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,325
Oh, my God. Thank you.
232
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,847
This is beyond embarrassing.
233
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,805
Don't worry about it.
234
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,088
Make yourselves at home.
235
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,563
I'm Bel, by the way.
236
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:50,886
Evan.
237
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,441
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
238
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,565
Ashley's online.
239
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,650
Cool.
240
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,488
You're a life saver, Evan.
241
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:07,009
Not everyone would just let two total
strangers into their house these days.
242
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,091
Well, you don't look that dangerous.
243
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,170
Worst case scenario,
244
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,080
I know I can take the both of you.
245
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,526
I'm not so sure.
246
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,324
I do air boxing.
247
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,211
- Air boxing?
- Yeah, like, you know?
248
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:24,250
- Oh, okay.
- Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
249
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,490
- Excuse me, sir.
- Yes.
250
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,961
- What's the address?
- His name's Evan.
251
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:30,485
Evan?
252
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,410
458 Canter.
253
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,529
Wow. We're like, far.
254
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,967
It was Kantner, not Canter.
255
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,561
The cab must've misunderstood us.
256
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:46,124
I told you that he was
going the wrong way.
257
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,282
That guy barely spoke English.
258
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,970
I mean, his English was worse than mine.
259
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,451
This is so retarded.
260
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,080
Don't worry about it. I'll call an Uber.
261
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,004
No. No, no, no.
262
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,686
We can find a cab outside.
It's no problem.
263
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,320
Not around here, you won't.
264
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,682
Trust me, it's the only reliable way.
265
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,731
You sure? I feel like such an idiot.
266
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,166
We don't want to ruin your night.
267
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,408
No really. It's fine.
268
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,002
It's looking for a driver.
269
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,491
And it'll be here in...
270
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,121
45 minutes.
271
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:27,365
That long?
272
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,201
The rain.
273
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:30,600
We're lucky we even got one.
274
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,884
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
275
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:42,441
What?
276
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:43,721
(GIGGLING)
277
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,167
Um, I know this is gonna sound weird,
278
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:50,644
but could we maybe throw our clothes
in your dryer just for, like, 10 minutes?
279
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,689
We really don't want to go
to a party soaking wet.
280
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:53,921
BEL: No.
281
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,211
Please?
282
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,651
Sure, sure. Um...
283
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,166
We have some extra robes.
I'll, uh, go get them.
284
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,163
- Thank you.
- Yay.
285
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,800
This is literally saving our lives.
286
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,650
Yeah, we could get sick and die.
287
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,450
(BOTH GIGGLING)
288
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,571
You have your phone?
289
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,529
Uh yeah, why?
290
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:21,880
I can try and fix it.
291
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,244
Really? Oh.
292
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,088
My kid dropped mine in the tub,
293
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:31,684
and you won't believe this, but if you
put it in rice it kinda dries it out.
294
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,202
- That would be awesome.
- Rice?
295
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,529
Oh, my God, you're like a MythBuster.
296
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,081
Thank you so much, Evan.
297
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,165
You're welcome...
298
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,843
- Genesis.
- Genesis.
299
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,731
Yeah, like the beginning of time.
300
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,324
In the beginning.
301
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,690
- (CHUCKLES)
- Sorry.
302
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,089
Yup, that was... You're sick of that.
303
00:19:58,640 --> 00:19:59,687
Thanks.
304
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:01,965
I'll, uh...
305
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:04,251
I'll go get you some.
306
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,725
(KETTLE WHISTLING)
307
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,089
Hey, Evan?
308
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,409
Where should we put these?
309
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:45,686
Oh, I'll take them.
310
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,047
No, we can do it. We don't mind.
311
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,050
I got it.
312
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:54,807
I made you some tea.
313
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,644
- Thank you.
- Thank you, that's nice.
314
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:57,961
- So sweet.
- I'll trade you.
315
00:20:58,120 --> 00:20:59,690
Uh, okay.
316
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,606
Gracias.
317
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,171
Excuse me.
318
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,289
(DRYER SPINNING)
319
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,082
(GIRLS GIGGLING IN DISTANCE)
320
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:29,930
BEL: Oh, my God.
321
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,325
(MONKEY BARKING)
322
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,245
BEL: Oh, sorry.
323
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,681
We were trying to warm up.
324
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,446
Yeah, I mean, we've never seen
one of these before.
325
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,489
- A real one.
- It's okay.
326
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,211
Just be careful. It's old.
327
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,530
I see you've met Monkey.
328
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,603
Yeah, this is Monkey.
329
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,811
It's time for Monkey to go to bed.
330
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,162
- Bye, Monkey.
- Night-night, Monkey.
331
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,084
- Night-night.
- Sweet dreams.
332
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:06,480
Bye, Monkey.
333
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,730
All right, Monkey.
334
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:15,690
Go home, Monkey.
335
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,203
You have so many records.
336
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,403
Sorry. We had to try one.
337
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,483
Stop apologizing, it's okay.
338
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,611
I love this album. You have good taste.
339
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,650
This is like...
340
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,167
An insane collection.
341
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,721
- Yeah.
- It must be worth a fortune.
342
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,248
Well, everything's online now, so...
343
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,163
But, uh, I love the sound of vinyl.
344
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,643
You're really into music.
345
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,163
Well, it used to be my job.
346
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,370
What? Like a record salesman?
347
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,447
- (GIGGLING)
- I was a DJ.
348
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,525
Oh, my God. That's so cool!
349
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,091
You're like Major Lazer!
350
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,525
It was in my 20s.
351
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:04,127
It's really a hobby now,
I haven't had a real gig in years.
352
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,204
Wait, how old are you?
353
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,370
I'm 43.
354
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,524
- No fucking way.
- I can't believe you're 43.
355
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,923
I thought you were, like,
28 or 30 at the most.
356
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,487
Well, I got married when I was 30.
357
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:20,730
Where's your wife?
358
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:22,848
She's at the beach with my kids.
359
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:27,170
We were gonna spend Father's Day there,
but, uh, work happened.
360
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,687
Oh, my God, you are all
alone on Father's Day.
361
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,360
Poor Evan, we'll keep you company!
362
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,329
BOTH: Hugs!
363
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,165
No, it's fine.
We celebrated this morning.
364
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,567
Whoa, you're not 43.
365
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,324
You must work out, like, every day.
366
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,522
Yeah, I keep in shape.
367
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:47,411
Not like when I was
in my 20s, but, uh...
368
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:54,489
Come on, any guy that ripped
is more into his own ass than yours.
369
00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:01,329
Yeah, I mean, like, seriously,
is that all you do?
370
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,290
Oh, my God, I remember
I fucked this model once,
371
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:08,204
and while we were having sex
I caught him doing crunches in the mirror.
372
00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:11,443
- (CHUCKLES)
- It was the gayest thing ever.
373
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,331
I'd take somebody that's older
and more experienced
374
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,960
over an Abercrombie model any day.
375
00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,690
GENESIS: Yeah.
376
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:21,570
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
377
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:27,087
Well, hopefully one day
you'll find both.
378
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:29,121
I don't know.
379
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:32,290
Underwear models are the kind of guys
you fuck when you're 14.
380
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,602
That's a statement.
381
00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:38,408
- This is your wife?
- Yup.
382
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,130
BEL: I want to see it.
383
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,167
Wow! She's so pretty.
384
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,290
She's beautiful. You're a lucky guy.
385
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,010
Yeah, I certainly am.
386
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:53,530
I'm just an architect, but, uh,
she's the real deal.
387
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:57,008
Most of what you see is hers.
388
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,444
- She made all these?
- Yeah.
389
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,165
GENESIS: Wow.
390
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,926
They're so pretty.
391
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,163
I love these colors.
392
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:09,725
Red's my favorite.
393
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:11,245
This is amazing.
394
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,249
I actually studied art history.
395
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,801
I'm no expert, I was only
there for a semester, but,
396
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:18,366
this...
397
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:23,522
This is like a Gaudi building, but small.
398
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,968
Yeah, my wife loves Gaudi.
399
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,562
She was, uh, she was born in Barcelona.
400
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,290
BEL: Like me?
401
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:37,047
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
402
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,210
English, English.
You guys sound too sexy.
403
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,284
That's about the extent
of my Spanish anyway.
404
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,642
My kids speak it perfectly.
405
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,282
Your wife's an amazing artist.
406
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,886
Why are these sculptures here?
407
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,762
They should be in like, MOMA.
408
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,128
Actually, um...
409
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,842
It's not exactly MOMA...
410
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,364
But she's having a
big gallery show in LA.
411
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:20,011
Karen Alvarado.
That's such a pretty name.
412
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:21,924
An architect and an artist.
413
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,128
You guys are like the perfect couple.
414
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,647
And she's so hot.
415
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,768
You must have sex, like, all day.
416
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,251
- Bel!
- What?
417
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:31,930
I would.
418
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,081
That's Belly for you.
419
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,447
She sees a hot girl
and chases after her.
420
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,251
Well, it's okay. I have no complaints.
421
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,322
Sorry, I was just being honest.
422
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:44,728
No, no. It's fine.
423
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,611
Um, but, uh...
424
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,168
I must say
425
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,881
I'm not used to girls just
being so open about that.
426
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:56,445
About what?
427
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:57,840
Sex?
428
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,207
No, I mean... Yes.
429
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,204
- Yeah.
- Yes.
430
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:04,730
It's just sex.
431
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,406
Right.
432
00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:12,283
Now you seem old.
433
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:17,925
Sorry. So sorry.
434
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,204
Twenty minutes away.
435
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,766
How long have you
and your wife been together?
436
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,243
I was 29 and she was 20.
437
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:45,686
It's been awhile.
438
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:49,011
So you haven't been with anyone else
in all those years?
439
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:50,844
Fourteen years, nope.
440
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,286
Wow.
441
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,051
How is that even possible?
442
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:57,926
Well, when you love someone...
443
00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,081
GENESIS: Come on, Evan.
444
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,806
Humans are the only species
that practice monogamy.
445
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,850
I mean, we're animals.
We're more animals than animals.
446
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,126
It's in our DNA.
447
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,765
Like, being with one person
your whole life,
448
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,446
is going against your own nature.
449
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:17,685
Look.
450
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,085
It's like this.
451
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:21,924
I understand men.
452
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:23,844
I know whenever I get married,
453
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,401
my husband is gonna want to be
with other girls.
454
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,962
So, I want to get comfortable
with having threesomes now,
455
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:33,886
because I know that's the only way
he'll never cheat on me.
456
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,729
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
457
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:44,882
Wow.
458
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:46,690
(EVAN LAUGHS)
459
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,288
So, are you guys... What do you guys do?
460
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:54,047
I mean, are you...
Are you in school or something?
461
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,004
I mean...
462
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,162
Actually, we're flight attendants.
463
00:28:58,320 --> 00:28:59,401
Really?
464
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,847
What would you like
for your entree, sir?
465
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,286
We have chicken...
466
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:04,881
And pasta.
467
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,361
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
468
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,008
Please buckle your seatbelt, sir.
469
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,606
We may be encountering some turbulence.
470
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,444
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
471
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:19,725
EVAN: So...
472
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,285
Where you guys based out of?
473
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:23,726
(SIGHS) Everywhere.
474
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,486
Last weekend we were in
New Zealand for 24 hours.
475
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:27,880
It was awesome.
476
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,930
Wow, how was that jet lag?
477
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:32,610
We don't sleep.
478
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,128
GENESIS: It's like being a fake rock star.
479
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,328
You know, you fly
around the world first class,
480
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:40,290
drinks are on the house
and they pay you for it.
481
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,250
I'm jealous.
482
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,161
I once got offered a tour
when I was a DJ.
483
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,164
Not like you guys, but, uh,
Tri-State area.
484
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:55,370
Yeah, well, I think traveling is
the best way to get life experience.
485
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,483
Especially when you're
only there for 24 hours.
486
00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,768
You really make the most of it.
487
00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:01,160
GENESIS: Yeah, we make the most of it.
488
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,443
Unlike that fucking
starfish we work with. Ugh.
489
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:06,360
BEL: (SOFTLY) Ugh, starfish.
490
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,841
- Starfish?
- This girl we work with...
491
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,729
She doesn't have to do anything in bed,
492
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,167
she just lies there
like a fucking starfish.
493
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,527
Hence, starfish.
494
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,125
I mean, who'd want to fuck that?
495
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,647
- (CHUCKLES)
- BEL: I don't understand girls like that.
496
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:24,046
When I'm with a guy,
I want him to have the time of his life.
497
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,361
- No rules.
- None.
498
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,887
Nothing's off limit, sexually.
499
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,441
Sex with boundaries isn't really sex.
500
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,961
If our bodies are capable of doing it,
501
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,441
then we were meant to. Right?
502
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,009
(THUNDER CRACKING)
503
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,805
Oh, Evan? Can I use your bathroom?
504
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:58,161
Of course. It's, uh, down
the hall on the right.
505
00:30:58,320 --> 00:30:59,845
Thanks.
506
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:23,688
I don't know any of these.
507
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,006
Well, I have pretty eclectic taste.
508
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,568
You have Spanish music.
509
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:31,929
Chilean, actually.
510
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,481
My wife loves her, Fran Valenzuela.
511
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,090
Can you put it on?
512
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:40,605
Sure.
513
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,844
She's really talented.
514
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,401
She started composing when she was 13.
515
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,291
This is her third album.
516
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,488
(MUSIC PLAYING)
517
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:02,810
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
518
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:16,327
Wow!
519
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,562
How did you know that would mix?
520
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,331
DJ'ing is like mixing a drink.
521
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:25,091
First you find the right ingredients,
522
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,129
then you find the blend.
523
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,846
Evan, I have something to confess.
524
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:35,721
Yes?
525
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:38,360
I'm glad we knocked on your door.
526
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:40,564
I'm having a way better time here
527
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,929
then at that stupid party
we were supposed to go to.
528
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,690
Well, I have to confess,
it's not usually this exciting around here
529
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:50,484
at 1:30 in the morning.
530
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,369
It's like destiny
that we were meant to meet.
531
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:01,161
Do you believe in destiny, Evan?
532
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:08,604
I'm an architect.
533
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:12,651
So obviously I believe
that things happen by your own design.
534
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,482
Well, I do.
535
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,484
I don't think people just meet randomly.
536
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,811
I think that if we are here, together,
537
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:24,686
it's because
538
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:29,002
there's something we have to
learn from each other.
539
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:31,570
Discover.
540
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,802
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
541
00:34:45,720 --> 00:34:47,131
It's here.
542
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:51,884
I'll go get Genesis.
543
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,327
I'll get your clothes.
544
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,770
What the fuck!
545
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:18,645
Guys!
546
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:22,164
Guys, the car's outside.
547
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,931
Guys, I have your clothes,
they're pretty much dry.
548
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,241
(GIGGLING)
549
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,368
- Guys!
- (GIGGLING)
550
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,729
All right, I'm coming in,
551
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,326
I'm not looking, so excuse me.
552
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:45,683
- Surprise!
- Surprise!
553
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:47,846
What the fuck are you doing?
554
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:51,089
- Come on, Evan. Join us.
- Yeah, join the party.
555
00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:53,891
- Come here.
- The car's outside.
556
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:55,883
The car can wait. Come on.
557
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,762
I'm gonna tell the driver
that you're coming out.
558
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:01,601
Get dressed. Now.
559
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,326
Please. Here's your clothes.
560
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:05,891
Evan. Look at us.
561
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:07,846
Come on...
562
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,889
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. Stop. Stop.
563
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:11,963
I can't do this. I'm married.
564
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:13,565
Happily. Okay?
565
00:36:13,720 --> 00:36:14,687
Yes. You can.
566
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,604
Hey, it's our little secret.
567
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:18,444
Whoa, stop. Stop.
568
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,045
It's just sex. We're all adults here.
569
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,531
I'm flattered.
570
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,650
But really, I can't.
Please, get dressed.
571
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:26,811
- (GIGGLING)
- Yeah, you can.
572
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,088
Come on, just one day.
573
00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:31,607
Just relax and enjoy it.
574
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,485
You like this?
575
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:36,642
Have you ever had two girls
do this to you before?
576
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:39,691
(MOANING)
577
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,170
- Happy Father's Day!
- Happy Father's Day!
578
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,163
(MOANING)
579
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,645
(PHONE VIBRATING)
580
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,970
(MUMBLING)
581
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,489
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
582
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,606
(BOTH LAUGHING)
583
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:03,481
ANNOUNCER: (ON TV) It's time for the Family Feud!
584
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,086
Introducing the Levy family!
585
00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:08,402
- Morning, Daddy.
- Evan! Evan!
586
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:09,686
Watch this!
587
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,121
(BOTH SHRIEKING)
588
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:14,923
Belly! Belly! Catch! Catch!
589
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:17,602
(ANNOUNCER ON TV CONTINUES)
590
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,842
- Sorry, Belly.
- (LAUGHING)
591
00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:22,890
I thought you guys left.
592
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:26,767
- We made you breakky.
- I'm not hungry.
593
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:28,001
Monkey, that's mine.
594
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:32,245
And the star of Family Feud,
Richard Dawson!
595
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:43,730
You two live together?
596
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:45,886
Yeah.
597
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:47,685
Where?
598
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:50,284
Why, Evan?
599
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:52,640
So I can drive you there.
600
00:40:54,720 --> 00:40:57,087
I haven't been home in like four years.
601
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:00,204
This could be our home.
602
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:01,646
I'll drive you wherever you want.
603
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:03,325
(LAUGHING)
604
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,248
Did I say something funny?
605
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:08,726
Mmm-hmm.
606
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,049
I want to go to Paris, Evan.
607
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:12,929
No, let's go to Tokyo.
608
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,482
- London.
- (LAUGHTER)
609
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,688
- Rome.
- (GIGGLING)
610
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:20,965
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
611
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:23,410
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
612
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,528
Don't let your breakky get cold.
613
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,483
(PHONE RINGING)
614
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:35,605
Hey, baby.
615
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:37,131
KAREN: Hey, you're alive.
616
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:40,171
Yeah, ah, barely.
617
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,207
I forgot how strong Vanessa's weed was.
618
00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:44,767
I just woke up.
619
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:46,365
You are such a lightweight.
620
00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:49,163
- How are the kids?
- Not so good.
621
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,045
- What happened?
- BOTH: Evan!
622
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,521
Jake got stung by a jellyfish.
He was crying.
623
00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:55,924
- Oh, no!
- Yeah.
624
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:57,320
Poor little guy.
625
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,289
- He's okay now.
- Where is he?
626
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:00,407
He's back at the beach.
627
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,691
It was a little bit hairy for a while,
but now he's okay.
628
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,365
What about you? How's your project?
629
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:07,727
Great. Great. Great.
630
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:12,809
Uh, I'm in a really good groove now,
so, home stretch.
631
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:15,968
Okay, then don't let me interrupt you.
632
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,441
Let's talk later.
You seem a little distracted.
633
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:19,761
No. That's not what I meant.
634
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:21,365
It's just...
635
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:25,970
I just want to finish so I don't have
to think about it, you know?
636
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:29,126
Maybe if I get done early,
I can, I can drive out there.
637
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,203
Baby, I get it. Don't stress.
638
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:32,731
Do what you have to do.
639
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:35,003
- I love you.
- Love you, too.
640
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:36,969
Don't smoke all our weed.
641
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,249
I won't. I promise.
642
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:41,530
- Bye.
- Ciao.
643
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:47,606
Shit! Shit! Shit!
644
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:52,445
Are you hungry now?
645
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,523
Get up! And get dressed!
646
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:55,727
Right now!
647
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,127
Excuse me, sir.
Can you tell me where Evan is?
648
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:00,760
You know, that sweet guy that
saved two girls from the rain?
649
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:02,729
He's gone. Get the fuck up.
650
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:05,845
Let's go.
651
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,729
I don't appreciate your tone of voice.
652
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:09,041
Go!
653
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,680
Come on, Belly. Looks like
Evan lost his sense of humor.
654
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:14,446
- Go!
- (LAUGHING)
655
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:24,725
Hello!
656
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:26,450
Let's go!
657
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:32,930
Where's Bel?
658
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:34,730
I don't know, she's not my friend.
659
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:38,365
Bel!
660
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,365
Bel!
661
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:47,040
Bel?
662
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:52,326
(BLOWS PARTY HORN)
663
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,727
- (LAUGHING)
- What the fuck are you doing?
664
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:56,564
You tell us to get dressed.
665
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,049
Come on. Playtime's over.
666
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:00,970
Evan, can you hold me?
667
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:02,640
Please, just once more.
668
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,167
- Please, I miss your hugs.
- Bel. Listen to me.
669
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:06,970
You're leaving. Now.
670
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:08,161
Get dressed.
671
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:09,606
- I love you.
- Bel...
672
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:11,330
- I love you.
- No!
673
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,450
I love you so much.
674
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,082
God damn it! Fuck!
675
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:22,921
I love you. I can't help it.
676
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:24,520
(MUMBLING)
677
00:44:24,720 --> 00:44:26,802
I'm crazy about you.
678
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,325
(PANTING)
679
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,164
(SCREAMING)
680
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:35,204
You have three minutes!
681
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:37,085
I'll be outside!
682
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:39,405
Get dressed!
683
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:49,490
Let's go!
684
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,808
What in the fuck are you doing!
685
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,808
You have any idea what you've done?
686
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:07,803
Yeah. It's called art.
687
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,167
We were inspired
from last night. Remember?
688
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:12,845
I'm calling the fucking police.
689
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:14,490
- Go ahead.
- (DIALING NUMBER)
690
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:17,530
What the fuck is so funny!
691
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:19,489
I just have a funny story for them.
692
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:21,370
It's called "To Catch a Predator."
693
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,123
What the fuck are you talking about?
694
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:30,601
Fifteen to 20 years?
695
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:32,330
I think it is 20.
696
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,323
Fifteen gets you 20, right?
697
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:39,169
- I don't believe it.
- You don't have to.
698
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:41,210
The jury will.
699
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:42,930
Statutory rape, Evan.
700
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:44,566
Twenty years behind bars.
701
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:46,285
And that's just for one of us.
702
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:49,011
And I'm not planning on taking a shower.
703
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:52,485
I have evidence.
704
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:55,606
Really?
705
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:58,491
So how could you be a flight
attendant if you're only 15?
706
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:01,045
(BOTH LAUGHING)
707
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:03,849
What the fuck! What?
708
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:06,482
We saw that in a movie, Evan.
709
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,404
I told you he'd believe it.
710
00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:09,846
Do you want to check my ID?
711
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:12,683
She doesn't have one, she's too young.
712
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:16,970
Okay.
713
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:18,246
What do you want?
714
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,801
We want to make breakky
for you every morning.
715
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:21,762
Come on.
716
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:23,644
Just tell me. How much do you want?
717
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:25,330
Don't be mad, Evan.
718
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:26,527
That's not you.
719
00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:28,722
- You're different from the others.
- Yeah.
720
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:31,161
How much!
721
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,761
What do you think we are, hookers?
722
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,490
Jesus, Evan, we're not fucking whores!
723
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:38,841
Yeah.
724
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,764
You're the fucking whore!
725
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:42,081
Whore!
726
00:46:42,720 --> 00:46:45,326
- (DOORBELL RINGING)
- VIVIAN: Evan?
727
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:46,766
It's Vivian!
728
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:48,611
Do not move!
729
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:52,005
Evan!
730
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:54,924
Evan, I'm so sorry I'm late,
731
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,282
but that storm blew
branches out all over town.
732
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:59,647
It even knocked two traffic lights out.
733
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:02,451
I swear, I swear I was sitting
there for 15 minutes
734
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:04,728
and I was trying to navigate,
but there was repair trucks.
735
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:06,285
It's fine. It's fine.
736
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:08,602
Actually, I'm feeling much better.
737
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,041
Oh, then that's really good
because then this'll help.
738
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,726
I'll give you a relaxation massage,
it'll help circulate.
739
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:17,562
Actually... Karen should have told you,
I have a lot of work to do this weekend.
740
00:47:17,720 --> 00:47:20,121
I love Karen. I love her
so much, how is she?
741
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:22,487
She is so talented.
742
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:24,051
I cannot wait to see her exhibition.
743
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:25,486
In fact, you know what?
744
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:27,563
Jim and I are going
to drive up for the opening
745
00:47:27,720 --> 00:47:31,845
if I can get out of that conference I have
in Sonoma with those massage therapists.
746
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:33,570
You know how that can be.
747
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:37,402
He doesn't want your massage.
748
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:39,726
Do you, baby?
749
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,808
Get back inside.
750
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:46,010
Don't let me get cold.
751
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:49,847
This is really upsetting, okay?
752
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,161
I'm here to heal,
753
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,721
but this is really... This is upsetting!
754
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,087
- It's upsetting!
- It's not what you think.
755
00:47:56,240 --> 00:47:58,004
No, no. It's exactly what I think!
756
00:47:58,160 --> 00:47:59,605
But you know what? It's your life.
757
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:01,922
- Vivian, please.
- I... Don't. It's your relationship, Evan.
758
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:03,764
(MUSIC PLAYING)
759
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:11,801
Look, I'm a DJ like Evan!
760
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:13,371
Why didn't you let your girlfriend in?
761
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:15,329
Are you ashamed of us?
Or are you fucking her, too?
762
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:16,811
- Get out of my house!
- Be careful,
763
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:19,042
these two cute little girls
can put you behind bars
764
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:20,611
- for the rest of your life!
- Get out of my house!
765
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:23,001
What would your client say?
Your neighbors?
766
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:24,969
What would your wife say if we told her
everything we did last night?
767
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:25,803
Get out!
768
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,207
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
769
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,522
It's gonna be such a shame
to see your wife divorce you!
770
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:33,683
And your business ruined
over a single night of perversion!
771
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:36,923
You wanna go door-to-door telling your
neighbors you're a child molester?
772
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:38,650
What would the other parents do?
773
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:41,201
Let their kids play here if
you're a convicted pedophile?
774
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:45,681
There's Evan!
775
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:49,723
I didn't think you had it in you.
776
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:54,205
(GROANING)
777
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:04,210
(PANTING)
778
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,003
911, what's your emergency?
779
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:16,249
I'd like to report a break-in.
780
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:17,731
You're calling from 458...
781
00:49:21,240 --> 00:49:22,810
Can you give us a ride?
782
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:33,805
Let's go.
783
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,327
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO)
784
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:05,282
GENESIS: Well, this isn't awkward at all.
785
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:07,005
Cool car, Evan.
786
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:10,450
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
787
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,085
This one on the right.
788
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:21,280
Out.
789
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:22,680
You're not gonna get out and say bye?
790
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:24,410
Go.
791
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:28,729
Don't you want to come in
and meet my mom?
792
00:50:29,240 --> 00:50:31,163
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
793
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,203
- Oh!
- Bye!
794
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:37,647
Send our love to Karen and the kids!
795
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,525
Bye!
796
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:21,330
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
797
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:37,685
(GLASS BREAKING)
798
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:00,005
Hello?
799
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,130
Oh, my God!
800
00:53:48,720 --> 00:53:50,290
(GENESIS HUMMING)
801
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:16,802
(CONTINUES HUMMING)
802
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:22,128
(EVAN STRUGGLING)
803
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:25,122
EVAN: Oh!
804
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:30,843
What the hell are you doing?
805
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:33,370
(STRUGGLING)
806
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:37,525
Genesis, please,
this is crazy, untie me!
807
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:43,562
(COUGHING)
808
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:46,163
What's the point of this?
809
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:49,445
I'm a good person.
810
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,170
I made a mistake.
811
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:54,721
We can forget this ever happened.
812
00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:57,164
Please! Please!
813
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:00,728
Haven't you ever made a mistake?
814
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:08,807
- (GENESIS HUMMING)
- (EVAN GRUNTING)
815
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:11,850
(GRUNTS)
816
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:24,881
BEL: Daddy!
817
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:28,042
Oh, Daddy!
818
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:32,526
Look what I found.
819
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:35,120
Oh, my God!
820
00:55:35,720 --> 00:55:37,245
You take that off.
821
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:39,482
That's my daughter's. You take that off!
822
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:43,002
You like how it fits me, Daddy?
823
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:45,125
- Look.
- Take those off,
824
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:46,970
you fucking crazy bitch!
825
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:50,965
Okay.
826
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:57,966
You know, every girl's first love
827
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:00,604
is their daddy, huh?
828
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:06,565
You're sick.
829
00:56:08,240 --> 00:56:09,810
You like what you see?
830
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:12,841
Huh? You like what you see?
831
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:14,365
Daddy?
832
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:21,768
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
833
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:24,204
- Huh?
- No.
834
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,004
Bel.
835
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:27,446
Untie me.
836
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,407
Untie me, please.
837
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:32,085
If you really love me,
838
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:34,530
untie me.
839
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:37,090
Ignore that asshole.
840
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:38,845
He's not an asshole.
841
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:41,050
He's my Daddy.
842
00:56:44,720 --> 00:56:46,848
You don't listen to her, Daddy.
843
00:56:47,240 --> 00:56:49,083
She doesn't love you the way I do.
844
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:51,045
I love you, Daddy.
845
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:54,290
I've loved you ever since
Mommy brought you home.
846
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:57,486
Remember that night
when we were all alone
847
00:56:57,680 --> 00:56:59,409
and you snuck into my room?
848
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,162
And I pretended to be asleep.
849
00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:05,729
But when you took off my clothes,
I couldn't pretend any longer.
850
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:09,043
We did things you and Mommy never did.
851
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:13,324
I hope you're not angry
at me anymore, Daddy.
852
00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:17,845
I only did that to Mommy
because I wanted you all to myself.
853
00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:23,446
Bel, Bel, untie me, please?
854
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:25,485
Please.
855
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:28,525
You can tuck me in like you always did.
856
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:35,764
What's wrong, Daddy?
857
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:37,524
Huh?
858
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:40,567
Don't you want to fuck
your little girl again?
859
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:43,883
Did you forget what you did
to me all those years?
860
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:46,329
Why did you do that to me?
861
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:48,570
Why did you do that to me!
862
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:49,926
- Bel...
- Why?
863
00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:54,125
Stop! Bel!
864
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:56,402
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
865
00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:58,289
- Stop! Bel!
- (SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
866
00:57:58,440 --> 00:57:59,282
Bel, stop!
867
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:01,647
Why did you do that to me!
868
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:04,121
Why! Why did you do that to me!
869
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:05,645
Stop! Stop!
870
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:07,802
Bel! Stop, please!
871
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,048
- (SLAPPING)
- EVAN: Stop it! Stop it!
872
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:15,763
(BEL CRYING)
873
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:23,610
Shh.
874
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:25,926
Untie me.
875
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:31,120
What the fuck is that?
876
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:33,728
- (SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
- (PHONE RINGING)
877
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:37,204
You're not hiding something,
are you, Evan?
878
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:40,045
What are you hiding here, huh?
879
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:42,129
Come on, where is it, Daddy?
880
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:46,683
It's Karen on FaceTime!
881
00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:48,922
- I've been dying to meet her.
- Answer it.
882
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:50,605
- Let's get to know her.
- No! No!
883
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:53,366
You're right, this could get awkward.
884
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:55,409
- What are you doing?
- Much better.
885
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:56,686
Don't!
886
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:58,211
Can a cock answer an iPhone?
887
00:58:58,360 --> 00:58:59,930
Yes, Belly, but it's gotta be hard.
888
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,650
Okay.
889
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:03,965
No! Please!
890
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:06,726
- It could be my kids!
- Hi Evan, welcome back.
891
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:08,769
So? Have they ever seen
a cheating dick before?
892
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:10,649
How about covered in her lipstick?
893
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:14,088
Okay! Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay. Please.
894
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:18,041
Bel, I'll do whatever you want.
895
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:19,571
Yes! Yes!
896
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:23,645
Okay. Okay.
897
00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:25,689
Now, fuck me, Daddy!
898
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:28,366
- Fuck me!
- Attaboy, Evan.
899
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:29,567
Fuck her.
900
00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:31,768
Fuck her like it was last night.
901
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:33,121
- (GROANING)
- Yeah, fuck her good!
902
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:34,441
(MOANING)
903
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:35,726
Fuck me, Daddy!
904
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:38,241
Fuck me like you fuck
your little daughter!
905
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:40,721
(GRUNTING AND MOANING)
906
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:43,010
Doggy style, Belly!
907
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:45,367
(BARKING)
908
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:49,844
You want something to eat, Bel?
909
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:52,325
No, I'm okay.
910
00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:54,124
Okay.
911
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:56,009
(BEL CRYING OUT)
912
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:57,771
(BARKING)
913
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:00,530
Fuck me, Daddy!
914
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:02,523
Fuck me like you fuck Mommy!
915
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:04,885
(BEL GROANING)
916
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:19,090
- (MOANING)
- Yeah, Daddy's little girl!
917
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:20,810
(MOANING AND GRUNTING)
918
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:23,201
You're a good little girl!
919
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:25,124
(GRUNTING)
920
01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:28,167
- Fuck me, Daddy!
- Yeah!
921
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:30,005
Fuck me like you fuck Mommy!
922
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:31,730
(GROANING)
923
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:35,167
Ow!
924
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:44,802
(SQUEALING)
925
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:08,325
(SHOUTING)
926
01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:11,091
(GROANING)
927
01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:12,730
Arghh!
928
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:15,968
My scar! My scar! My scar!
929
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:17,690
My surgery!
930
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:20,362
You've been a very bad boy, Evan!
931
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:23,763
Please, please, please
take it out! Take it out!
932
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:26,890
Oh, my God!
933
01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:28,610
Oh, my...
934
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:30,885
...God!
935
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:36,764
Why did you hit me, Daddy?
936
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:38,850
Now we have to punish you.
937
01:01:42,840 --> 01:01:44,410
(GRUNTS)
938
01:01:58,200 --> 01:01:59,770
(MUSIC PLAYING)
939
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:04,850
Welcome to America's favorite game show,
940
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:07,480
Who Wants to be a Pedophile!
941
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:10,405
Where we give the audience
what they want!
942
01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:13,201
The chance to punish a pedophile.
943
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:18,162
But first, let's welcome our lovely,
beautiful and charming,
944
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:21,130
Ms. Bel!
945
01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:23,124
(TV AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
946
01:02:23,280 --> 01:02:24,850
Hello, Ms. Bel.
947
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:29,686
For tonight's contestant,
we have a very special one,
948
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:32,446
he's not only an architect
but also a DJ,
949
01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:36,326
a husband, a father of two,
possibly three.
950
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:38,045
Four.
951
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:41,729
All the way from one percent land,
952
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:45,089
Mr. Evan Webber!
953
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:46,926
(APPLAUSE)
954
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:50,522
Ms. Bel, would you please
get our contestant ready?
955
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:51,727
Sure.
956
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:06,364
You're both crazy fucking bitches!
957
01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:09,044
You look 21, you lied to me!
958
01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:10,850
Oh, like you lied to your wife?
959
01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:13,523
What I tell my wife is
none of your goddamn...
960
01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:14,960
- (MUSIC SCREECHING)
- (CRYING OUT)
961
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:17,168
God! God!
962
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:20,649
Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
My ears! My ears!
963
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:22,609
I'll go deaf! I'll go deaf!
964
01:03:24,840 --> 01:03:26,524
This is fucking serious!
965
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:28,920
I could go deaf!
966
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:31,003
The game hasn't started yet.
967
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:36,202
Our first category...
968
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:40,484
Schoolyards.
969
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:46,049
How far away from school
will Evan have to pick up his kids?
970
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:47,805
100 yards?
971
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:49,770
500 yards?
972
01:03:50,280 --> 01:03:51,770
Or two miles?
973
01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:57,127
This is fucking sick!
974
01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:00,971
(VOLUME TURNED UP)
975
01:04:01,120 --> 01:04:02,690
Arghh!
976
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:05,284
(GRUNTING)
977
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:07,767
Wrong answer. Correct answer is
978
01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:09,888
you can't pick up your kids from prison.
979
01:04:10,040 --> 01:04:12,042
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
980
01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:13,571
Please!
981
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:15,370
What's our next category, Ms. Bel?
982
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:17,090
I love this one.
983
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:24,290
Daddies.
984
01:04:25,920 --> 01:04:28,082
Evan, this should be easy for you.
985
01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:33,048
How many family men
have survived this game?
986
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:39,610
None.
987
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:42,881
What was that?
988
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:44,607
None.
989
01:04:44,760 --> 01:04:46,205
Correct!
990
01:04:46,400 --> 01:04:48,050
(TV AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
991
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:52,684
- Next question.
- Genesis.
992
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:54,890
You've proved your point.
993
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:57,691
(SCREAMING)
994
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:01,491
God! I can't hear! I can't hear!
995
01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:03,805
Please stop!
996
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,484
All you have to do is
answer the question, Evan.
997
01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:11,242
Okay.
998
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:16,448
Well, ask it, for fuck's sake!
999
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,651
What's the proper punishment
for a pedophile?
1000
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:22,970
Is it prison where
you get raped every day
1001
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:24,884
and you never get to see
your family again?
1002
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:26,610
Castration?
1003
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:28,570
Or death?
1004
01:05:36,320 --> 01:05:39,529
Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tick-tock.
1005
01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:43,369
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
1006
01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:45,124
Ten seconds.
1007
01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:52,810
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
1008
01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:54,405
(DOORBELL RINGING)
1009
01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:57,247
Well, looks like it's time for
our first commercial break.
1010
01:05:57,400 --> 01:06:00,290
We'll be back after a message
from our sponsors.
1011
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:02,090
Hello. It's me, Louis!
1012
01:06:02,720 --> 01:06:03,846
Mr. Webber?
1013
01:06:06,480 --> 01:06:08,528
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
1014
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:11,450
Who's Louis?
1015
01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:13,765
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1016
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:16,450
Fucking douche bag.
1017
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:19,523
Get that sheet, cover him up.
1018
01:06:19,680 --> 01:06:21,250
(MUFFLED YELLING)
1019
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:27,684
(COUGHING)
1020
01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:28,762
Shh!
1021
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:40,770
- You must be Louis.
- Yes.
1022
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:42,365
I'm Bernadette. I'm Uncle Evan's niece.
1023
01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:43,641
Oh, hi, nice to meet you.
1024
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:46,087
Obviously, you're with Uncle Evan.
1025
01:06:46,240 --> 01:06:48,163
Sorry, we're shooting a music video.
1026
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:50,926
Well, you guys picked
an awesome location.
1027
01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:52,286
Come on in.
1028
01:06:55,880 --> 01:06:57,689
So where'd you come in from?
1029
01:06:57,840 --> 01:07:00,241
- Dallas.
- Oh? I used to live in Austin.
1030
01:07:00,400 --> 01:07:01,526
Oh, I've never been.
1031
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:03,523
Well, it's fun when you're in college.
1032
01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:05,330
Yeah, I went to Parsons.
1033
01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:07,801
Oh, great school. I went to SVA.
1034
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:10,162
- Hi.
- Hi.
1035
01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:11,526
- I'm Louis.
- Hi.
1036
01:07:11,680 --> 01:07:13,364
- Hi. I'm...
- She's Macarena.
1037
01:07:13,520 --> 01:07:15,682
- She's my friend from Spain.
- Oh. (SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
1038
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:17,120
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
1039
01:07:17,280 --> 01:07:20,045
- He's here to pick up...
- The art work outside.
1040
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:21,770
- Yes.
- Excuse me.
1041
01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:32,001
- Somebody touch this?
- We didn't touch it.
1042
01:07:32,160 --> 01:07:34,083
It's Aunt Karen's stuff,
we wouldn't go near it.
1043
01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:37,770
I did see Evan in here earlier,
maybe he did.
1044
01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:40,806
Okay,
1045
01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:42,564
'cause it's not supposed
to be like this.
1046
01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:45,007
It's supposed to be bubble-wrapped
and packed up and ready to go.
1047
01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:47,771
- Why would Evan do this?
- She said it wasn't us.
1048
01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:50,001
Okay.
1049
01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:00,209
Oh, fuck.
1050
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:02,044
Oh, my God.
1051
01:08:03,640 --> 01:08:05,324
What the fuck did y'all do?
1052
01:08:05,480 --> 01:08:07,244
What the fuck is this shit!
1053
01:08:16,440 --> 01:08:18,090
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1054
01:08:21,520 --> 01:08:24,327
We didn't want to tell you, someone
broke in and that's why Evan's out.
1055
01:08:24,480 --> 01:08:25,447
- He was chasing them.
- Yeah.
1056
01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:26,931
Shut the fuck up!
1057
01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:28,690
Shut the fuck up, both of you right now!
1058
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:30,285
Nobody fucking move!
1059
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:34,447
I'm calling the cops right now.
1060
01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:36,364
Please don't tell Karen.
1061
01:08:38,720 --> 01:08:40,882
This could be our little secret.
1062
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:47,763
Bitch, you're barking up
the wrong fucking tree.
1063
01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:49,445
I'm from Oakland, ho!
1064
01:08:49,640 --> 01:08:52,166
I know two ghetto ass
hos when I see 'em!
1065
01:08:52,320 --> 01:08:54,527
Come to think of it,
Evan doesn't even have any fucking nieces.
1066
01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:56,842
(YELLING) Who the fuck are you?
1067
01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:59,526
You better hope the police
get here before Karen does.
1068
01:08:59,680 --> 01:09:00,761
(BANGING)
1069
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:03,604
- What the fuck was that?
- Nothing.
1070
01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:04,761
- Hey, wait.
- Wait.
1071
01:09:04,920 --> 01:09:06,922
- It's nothing.
- Get out of my way!
1072
01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:08,849
- Shit.
- (MUFFLED GRUNTS)
1073
01:09:10,880 --> 01:09:12,564
(MUFFLED COUGHING)
1074
01:09:13,440 --> 01:09:14,930
Shit!
1075
01:09:15,920 --> 01:09:17,490
Mr. Webber!
1076
01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:19,165
Are you okay? Oh, fuck!
1077
01:09:19,320 --> 01:09:21,049
They're crazy!
1078
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:22,122
Close the door. Close the door.
1079
01:09:22,280 --> 01:09:23,850
Louis!
1080
01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:25,888
Louis, no!
1081
01:09:26,040 --> 01:09:28,646
- I gotta stop these crazy ass bitches.
- Louis, forget it!
1082
01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:30,848
They're dangerous!
1083
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,367
(SCREAMING)
1084
01:09:34,480 --> 01:09:37,131
No! No! Stop!
1085
01:09:37,280 --> 01:09:38,691
Stop it!
1086
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:40,649
What are you doing!
1087
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:43,649
(GASPING)
1088
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:48,761
(GASPING FOR BREATH)
1089
01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:51,127
(LAUGHING)
1090
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:55,525
Looking for this?
1091
01:09:58,920 --> 01:10:01,048
Louis! Be careful!
1092
01:10:01,200 --> 01:10:02,690
They're crazy!
1093
01:10:02,880 --> 01:10:06,282
BEL: Monkey in the middle!
Monkey in the middle!
1094
01:10:06,440 --> 01:10:08,169
GENESIS: We can't say that,
Belly, it's racist.
1095
01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:10,084
Okay, man in the middle!
1096
01:10:10,680 --> 01:10:12,091
Give it to him!
1097
01:10:12,240 --> 01:10:13,844
No, Genesis, give him that!
1098
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:15,525
(GASPS AND THUDS)
1099
01:10:15,680 --> 01:10:17,045
Louis!
1100
01:10:19,440 --> 01:10:21,124
Louis!
1101
01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:32,925
Genesis! Please, this isn't his fault!
Please call an ambulance, help him!
1102
01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:36,961
Fucker!
1103
01:10:37,120 --> 01:10:38,531
Bel, please help him!
1104
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:41,001
Call an ambulance,
I promise I won't say anything!
1105
01:10:41,880 --> 01:10:45,441
Bel, Genesis!
Call an ambulance, for fuck's sake!
1106
01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:48,001
I think it's a little late
for an ambulance, Evan.
1107
01:10:48,160 --> 01:10:50,128
He tripped, it's his fault.
1108
01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:53,008
We were just playing
monkey in the middle.
1109
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:55,003
I mean, man in the middle.
1110
01:10:56,040 --> 01:10:57,610
Oh, my God!
1111
01:10:57,760 --> 01:11:00,491
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
1112
01:11:00,960 --> 01:11:04,442
You killed him!
1113
01:11:04,880 --> 01:11:07,884
Your wife killed him
with her shitty sculpture.
1114
01:11:08,040 --> 01:11:09,405
This shit's dangerous, Evan.
1115
01:11:09,560 --> 01:11:11,642
How can you keep this here with kids?
1116
01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:13,564
That's irresponsible parenting.
1117
01:11:13,720 --> 01:11:15,563
Yeah maybe your wife
should stick to painting.
1118
01:11:15,720 --> 01:11:16,767
Get the fuck away from me!
1119
01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:19,564
Where do you think you're going, Evan?
1120
01:11:19,720 --> 01:11:21,165
Get the fuck off me! Leave me alone!
1121
01:11:21,320 --> 01:11:22,446
Wanna go for a little ride?
1122
01:11:22,600 --> 01:11:24,364
You can't run away from us, Daddy.
1123
01:11:24,520 --> 01:11:26,090
You can't escape.
1124
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:27,321
(GIGGLING)
1125
01:11:27,480 --> 01:11:29,403
Ahhh!
1126
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:34,884
This is what happens when
you break the rules of the game, Evan.
1127
01:11:54,680 --> 01:11:56,842
This is just like art class.
1128
01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:38,370
GENESIS: What I did to Karen's statue
1129
01:12:38,520 --> 01:12:40,648
is nothing compared
to what I'm going to do to you
1130
01:12:40,800 --> 01:12:43,690
if I ever see your
fucking lying face again.
1131
01:12:43,840 --> 01:12:47,162
I trusted you both,
how could you fuck my wife?
1132
01:12:47,840 --> 01:12:52,084
Never come near my family again.
1133
01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:56,082
Disappear or you're fucking dead.
1134
01:12:56,640 --> 01:12:57,801
(BEEPS)
1135
01:13:03,720 --> 01:13:05,290
(GROANS)
1136
01:13:06,520 --> 01:13:08,045
Which way is MOMA?
1137
01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:12,171
(CHUCKLING) It's more like "momma."
1138
01:13:18,840 --> 01:13:21,286
Ronnie is gonna have
a field day with this one.
1139
01:13:21,440 --> 01:13:23,204
Yeah, I'm sure he will.
1140
01:13:25,360 --> 01:13:26,964
GENESIS: That guy's a magician.
1141
01:13:27,120 --> 01:13:28,201
Yeah.
1142
01:13:29,080 --> 01:13:31,048
GENESIS: He can make anything disappear.
1143
01:13:31,200 --> 01:13:32,247
Let's finish this.
1144
01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:35,728
(CHAIR KNOCKING)
1145
01:13:48,520 --> 01:13:51,091
Wow, those were some
really long commercials.
1146
01:13:51,280 --> 01:13:55,205
Thanks to our sponsor Louis
for that little lovely break.
1147
01:14:00,680 --> 01:14:05,402
Now! Back to our
million dollar question.
1148
01:14:06,160 --> 01:14:09,562
What is the proper punishment
for a pedophile?
1149
01:14:11,240 --> 01:14:12,890
Please.
1150
01:14:13,040 --> 01:14:15,805
I love my children. I love my wife.
1151
01:14:16,200 --> 01:14:17,929
I'm a good father.
1152
01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:20,129
How can you judge anyone?
1153
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:21,884
You're murderers.
1154
01:14:22,040 --> 01:14:23,326
Is that your final answer?
1155
01:14:23,520 --> 01:14:26,171
Cause you're gonna go deaf
in about 10 seconds from now.
1156
01:14:26,320 --> 01:14:27,731
Please, Genesis!
1157
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:29,325
I'm a good father!
1158
01:14:29,520 --> 01:14:31,249
Until yesterday.
1159
01:14:31,440 --> 01:14:33,920
That doesn't change
how much I love them!
1160
01:14:34,800 --> 01:14:36,370
(COUGHS)
1161
01:14:42,760 --> 01:14:45,081
Do you really love them, Evan?
1162
01:14:47,080 --> 01:14:48,127
Really?
1163
01:14:49,880 --> 01:14:51,848
More than anything in the world.
1164
01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:56,766
So why didn't you think of
them when you were inside us?
1165
01:14:56,920 --> 01:14:58,365
Yeah, why, Evan?
1166
01:14:59,240 --> 01:15:02,210
Last night had nothing
to do with my family.
1167
01:15:02,360 --> 01:15:04,408
Damn right it didn't, Evan!
1168
01:15:04,600 --> 01:15:06,887
It had nothing to do with them.
1169
01:15:07,040 --> 01:15:08,929
Your family are victims.
1170
01:15:09,080 --> 01:15:13,005
Victims of your sleazy,
disgusting, perverted behavior.
1171
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:14,969
Jake. Lisa.
1172
01:15:16,320 --> 01:15:18,368
They don't deserve a father like you.
1173
01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:20,887
This is what you did to your family.
1174
01:15:22,160 --> 01:15:23,764
You pervert.
1175
01:15:23,920 --> 01:15:25,968
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
1176
01:15:29,440 --> 01:15:31,602
Genesis, please, this isn't the answer!
1177
01:15:31,760 --> 01:15:34,127
(IMITATES BUZZER) Wrong answer.
1178
01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:37,806
Correct answer is death.
1179
01:15:38,480 --> 01:15:40,767
We'll be back
after this commercial break.
1180
01:15:43,920 --> 01:15:45,445
Death?
1181
01:15:46,200 --> 01:15:47,770
Death?
1182
01:15:48,320 --> 01:15:50,004
You're gonna kill me?
1183
01:15:50,160 --> 01:15:53,004
You're gonna fucking kill me!
1184
01:15:53,160 --> 01:15:56,687
Why? Why! Because I fucked you?
1185
01:15:56,840 --> 01:15:59,320
You fucked me! You fucked me!
1186
01:15:59,480 --> 01:16:02,404
You came to my house! You came to me!
1187
01:16:03,440 --> 01:16:05,647
I got you a car,
I brought you your clothes,
1188
01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:07,882
you took a fucking bubble bath!
1189
01:16:08,080 --> 01:16:11,289
You wanted it! You wanted it!
You came on to me!
1190
01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:13,684
What was I supposed to do?
1191
01:16:13,880 --> 01:16:17,248
You sucked my cock, you both
fucking sucked my cock!
1192
01:16:17,400 --> 01:16:20,768
It was free pizza! Free fucking pizza!
1193
01:16:21,360 --> 01:16:23,283
It just shows up at my fucking door!
1194
01:16:23,440 --> 01:16:25,363
What am I supposed to do?
1195
01:16:25,520 --> 01:16:28,171
"We're flight attendants.
Come on, fuck us!
1196
01:16:28,320 --> 01:16:31,324
No one will know. Come on, fuck us!"
1197
01:16:31,520 --> 01:16:34,649
Oh, twosomes, threesomes.
It doesn't matter!
1198
01:16:34,800 --> 01:16:37,610
Starfish! Husbands!
You don't give a fuck,
1199
01:16:37,760 --> 01:16:40,570
you'll just fuck anything,
you'll just fuck anything!
1200
01:16:40,720 --> 01:16:42,882
Well, you lied to me,
I tried to help you!
1201
01:16:43,040 --> 01:16:47,130
I let you in, I was a good guy,
I'm a good father!
1202
01:16:47,280 --> 01:16:49,362
And you just fucking fucked me!
1203
01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:52,046
What? Now, you're gonna kill me!
1204
01:16:52,200 --> 01:16:54,009
You're gonna kill me? Why?
1205
01:16:54,160 --> 01:16:56,401
Why? 'Cause you fucked me?
1206
01:16:56,560 --> 01:17:00,087
What the fuck-fuck-fuck,
this is fucking insane!
1207
01:17:05,160 --> 01:17:07,527
You're to be executed at dawn.
1208
01:17:10,880 --> 01:17:12,609
If I were you,
1209
01:17:12,760 --> 01:17:16,162
I wouldn't waste my last
few hours crying about it.
1210
01:17:19,080 --> 01:17:20,491
BEL: I'm sorry, Daddy.
1211
01:17:23,240 --> 01:17:24,765
It is the only way.
1212
01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:28,570
Bel?
1213
01:17:35,160 --> 01:17:38,004
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1214
01:17:38,720 --> 01:17:40,324
Oh, my God!
1215
01:17:41,360 --> 01:17:42,930
(BEL GRUNTS WITH EFFORT)
1216
01:17:48,080 --> 01:17:49,650
(GRUNTS)
1217
01:18:45,440 --> 01:18:47,966
FaceTime. Karen!
1218
01:18:49,320 --> 01:18:51,163
FaceTime. Karen.
1219
01:18:53,080 --> 01:18:55,401
Digging a grave is fucking tiring.
1220
01:18:55,560 --> 01:18:56,402
- BEL: And filthy.
- (PHONE RINGING)
1221
01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:58,608
Your wife's clothes
are gonna need dry cleaning.
1222
01:18:58,760 --> 01:19:00,410
What's that?
1223
01:19:00,560 --> 01:19:02,449
(RINGING CONTINUES)
1224
01:19:02,600 --> 01:19:04,364
You can't have access to an iPad, Evan.
1225
01:19:04,520 --> 01:19:06,761
You could be trying to reach a child.
1226
01:19:08,560 --> 01:19:10,085
(BEL GIGGLES)
1227
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:14,685
Let's face it, Evan. You're a monster.
1228
01:19:15,200 --> 01:19:18,090
Or should I say (MOCKING) monster!
1229
01:19:18,240 --> 01:19:20,129
(GROWLING)
1230
01:19:20,280 --> 01:19:21,406
What?
1231
01:19:22,240 --> 01:19:24,163
Monster surprised?
1232
01:19:24,600 --> 01:19:25,931
How do you know about that?
1233
01:19:26,320 --> 01:19:28,721
Oh, monster confused!
1234
01:19:29,280 --> 01:19:30,611
How the fuck do you know that!
1235
01:19:30,760 --> 01:19:32,888
Monster will be quiet!
1236
01:19:35,360 --> 01:19:36,407
You spied on me?
1237
01:19:38,200 --> 01:19:39,326
On my kids?
1238
01:19:40,160 --> 01:19:41,969
Oh, my fucking God!
1239
01:19:42,120 --> 01:19:43,929
Oh, my fucking God! Jesus!
1240
01:19:44,080 --> 01:19:45,605
I'm so fucking stupid!
1241
01:19:45,800 --> 01:19:46,961
Yeah, you are.
1242
01:19:50,800 --> 01:19:54,361
(BEL SNICKERING) Monster retarded.
1243
01:19:55,760 --> 01:19:57,410
(MOCKING INDISTINCTLY)
1244
01:19:57,880 --> 01:20:00,451
GENESIS: Let's change, I feel gross.
1245
01:20:03,760 --> 01:20:05,728
Look at all this shit.
1246
01:20:13,400 --> 01:20:15,528
(GROANING)
1247
01:20:15,680 --> 01:20:17,284
GENESIS: This is you, Evan.
1248
01:20:17,800 --> 01:20:20,644
This is gonna be your little fucking head,
you fucking cheater!
1249
01:20:20,800 --> 01:20:22,450
(GROANING)
1250
01:20:23,440 --> 01:20:26,603
BEL: I love this color!
Red's my favorite!
1251
01:20:29,080 --> 01:20:31,890
(GIRLS GRUNTING)
1252
01:20:38,200 --> 01:20:40,328
(SQUEALING)
1253
01:20:51,600 --> 01:20:53,409
(SNICKERING)
1254
01:20:58,240 --> 01:20:59,924
GENESIS: Time for a haircut, Evan.
1255
01:21:00,120 --> 01:21:01,770
Gotta be pretty for your funeral.
1256
01:21:01,960 --> 01:21:04,042
BEL: He's so hairy.
1257
01:21:04,200 --> 01:21:05,964
You don't wanna lose an ear.
1258
01:21:06,120 --> 01:21:07,645
Hold still.
1259
01:21:08,440 --> 01:21:10,841
GENESIS: There we go. You look pretty.
1260
01:21:11,000 --> 01:21:12,889
There's Evan cutie!
1261
01:21:17,360 --> 01:21:18,930
There you have it.
1262
01:21:22,120 --> 01:21:24,009
Oh, now we see your pretty face.
1263
01:21:24,160 --> 01:21:25,764
Fucking bitches!
1264
01:21:32,720 --> 01:21:35,644
(MOCKING) "I love the sound
of vinyl. I'm Evan."
1265
01:21:37,360 --> 01:21:38,930
BEL: Watch this, Evan.
1266
01:21:40,120 --> 01:21:41,804
(MOANING)
1267
01:21:43,480 --> 01:21:45,608
(GRUNTING)
1268
01:21:46,000 --> 01:21:47,650
(CHEERING)
1269
01:21:58,000 --> 01:21:59,286
(GASPS)
1270
01:21:59,440 --> 01:22:01,010
Jackpot!
1271
01:22:02,840 --> 01:22:04,330
(GASPS)
1272
01:22:04,520 --> 01:22:06,249
Is that real?
1273
01:22:07,760 --> 01:22:10,764
What a clever way to hide
this from the kids, Evan!
1274
01:22:11,520 --> 01:22:15,889
You know, most firearm deaths
are a family member of the gun owner.
1275
01:22:17,440 --> 01:22:18,965
BEL: I don't own a gun.
1276
01:22:20,080 --> 01:22:21,445
It's dangerous.
1277
01:22:25,040 --> 01:22:26,087
Untie him.
1278
01:22:28,760 --> 01:22:30,524
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
1279
01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:38,847
Genesis, please don't point that at me.
1280
01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:42,407
I know, it's cheating.
We still have 90 minutes.
1281
01:22:42,600 --> 01:22:44,807
But you were keeping secrets
from us, Evan.
1282
01:22:45,240 --> 01:22:47,129
Had you gotten to this before us
1283
01:22:47,280 --> 01:22:49,851
I don't think we'd be
having this conversation.
1284
01:22:50,000 --> 01:22:51,240
And you wouldn't do the same?
1285
01:22:51,440 --> 01:22:52,885
I'm not like you, Evan.
1286
01:22:53,400 --> 01:22:55,721
I don't own a gun, I don't shoot people.
1287
01:22:56,160 --> 01:23:00,006
I sure as hell don't bend the rules
for my own convenience.
1288
01:23:01,920 --> 01:23:03,490
Untie him, Belly.
1289
01:23:04,880 --> 01:23:06,450
(WINCES)
1290
01:23:06,840 --> 01:23:08,490
I don't want him to kick me.
1291
01:23:09,120 --> 01:23:10,281
GENESIS: He won't.
1292
01:23:10,440 --> 01:23:12,010
He kicks, I shoot.
1293
01:23:12,400 --> 01:23:13,731
He knows that.
1294
01:23:13,920 --> 01:23:15,445
Don't you, Evan?
1295
01:23:19,120 --> 01:23:20,690
What do you want?
1296
01:23:21,880 --> 01:23:24,087
I wanna play hide and seek.
1297
01:23:25,440 --> 01:23:26,521
What?
1298
01:23:29,160 --> 01:23:30,321
(SIGHS)
1299
01:23:30,720 --> 01:23:33,007
Thirty seconds. Only inside the house.
1300
01:23:33,160 --> 01:23:35,083
You leave the house, I shoot.
1301
01:23:36,160 --> 01:23:38,367
What're you gonna do when you find me?
1302
01:23:39,600 --> 01:23:42,331
Well, if we don't find you by sunrise,
1303
01:23:43,280 --> 01:23:44,327
we'll leave.
1304
01:23:45,600 --> 01:23:48,251
- Bullshit.
- Thirty seconds. Go! Go!
1305
01:23:48,400 --> 01:23:50,129
- BOTH: Go!
- GENESIS: Go!
1306
01:23:52,040 --> 01:23:54,566
BOTH: 30, 29...
1307
01:23:55,080 --> 01:23:58,004
28, 27...
1308
01:23:58,160 --> 01:24:00,447
26, 25...
1309
01:24:01,680 --> 01:24:05,127
24, 23, 22...
1310
01:24:10,200 --> 01:24:11,929
GENESIS: Go!
1311
01:24:12,080 --> 01:24:14,606
Ready or not? Here we come!
1312
01:24:16,400 --> 01:24:18,528
(BOTH GIGGLING)
1313
01:24:20,320 --> 01:24:22,641
Evan!
1314
01:24:23,920 --> 01:24:26,207
You can't hide from us.
1315
01:24:26,960 --> 01:24:28,291
Here we come.
1316
01:24:33,440 --> 01:24:35,442
Evan?
1317
01:24:39,920 --> 01:24:42,048
We can smell you, Evan.
1318
01:24:46,200 --> 01:24:47,281
Daddy?
1319
01:24:47,440 --> 01:24:49,761
Psst! In here.
1320
01:24:55,840 --> 01:24:58,810
- Evan?
- Oh, Evan?
1321
01:25:00,240 --> 01:25:02,083
Are you here, monster?
1322
01:25:07,480 --> 01:25:09,050
Evan?
1323
01:25:14,920 --> 01:25:16,445
Evan?
1324
01:25:17,240 --> 01:25:18,810
Shit!
1325
01:25:20,840 --> 01:25:22,444
Evan!
1326
01:25:25,760 --> 01:25:27,649
GENESIS: Yeah, there he goes! Stop!
1327
01:25:27,800 --> 01:25:29,689
Evan! Stop!
1328
01:25:30,720 --> 01:25:32,131
Oh, fuck!
1329
01:25:32,280 --> 01:25:33,884
Don't fucking move!
1330
01:25:34,240 --> 01:25:36,242
Help me! Help me!
1331
01:25:36,440 --> 01:25:38,488
- Scream all you fucking want!
- Help me!
1332
01:25:38,640 --> 01:25:41,530
No one's fucking home!
We tried every house!
1333
01:26:19,240 --> 01:26:21,129
(ALARM RINGING)
1334
01:26:23,080 --> 01:26:25,082
(EVAN GROANING)
1335
01:26:35,840 --> 01:26:37,251
GENESIS: Are you ready!
1336
01:26:37,400 --> 01:26:39,050
EVAN: Please don't do this!
1337
01:26:39,480 --> 01:26:42,324
- GENESIS: Time to say goodbye!
- Please! Please!
1338
01:26:42,480 --> 01:26:44,050
Help!
1339
01:26:44,680 --> 01:26:46,284
Help me!
1340
01:26:46,440 --> 01:26:48,442
Please, somebody help me!
1341
01:26:48,640 --> 01:26:51,962
Help! Please somebody, help!
1342
01:26:53,120 --> 01:26:55,088
Please, let me go!
1343
01:26:55,240 --> 01:26:58,528
Help! Please help me! Somebody help me!
1344
01:26:59,800 --> 01:27:01,484
No! Help me!
1345
01:27:01,640 --> 01:27:03,802
No! No! No! No! No!
1346
01:27:04,200 --> 01:27:06,043
No, help! Help!
1347
01:27:07,360 --> 01:27:08,885
BOTH: One, two, three!
1348
01:27:10,360 --> 01:27:12,203
GENESIS: Whoopsie-daisy!
1349
01:27:12,360 --> 01:27:14,089
(GRUNTS)
1350
01:27:14,240 --> 01:27:16,766
BEL: So Evan, did we hurt your shoulder?
1351
01:27:17,400 --> 01:27:20,404
GENESIS: We want you to be comfy, Evan.
1352
01:27:23,680 --> 01:27:26,047
(GRUNTING AND GROANING)
1353
01:27:31,720 --> 01:27:34,326
Help! Help!
1354
01:27:36,640 --> 01:27:39,325
Help! Help!
1355
01:27:40,840 --> 01:27:42,604
Don't move, Evan.
You might get dirt in your eyes.
1356
01:27:42,760 --> 01:27:44,330
Yeah, close your eyes, baby.
1357
01:27:44,480 --> 01:27:47,051
Help! Help!
1358
01:27:47,240 --> 01:27:48,690
Help!
1359
01:27:48,840 --> 01:27:51,918
Help! Help! Help!
1360
01:27:52,018 --> 01:27:55,098
Help! Help!
1361
01:27:57,280 --> 01:27:59,362
Please. Please.
1362
01:27:59,520 --> 01:28:01,409
Please. Please, don't do this.
1363
01:28:02,320 --> 01:28:05,085
Please! Bel. Please.
1364
01:28:05,800 --> 01:28:07,882
It looks like he's trying
to communicate.
1365
01:28:08,240 --> 01:28:09,810
Please.
1366
01:28:12,720 --> 01:28:15,371
If you promise to behave,
I'll take out the gag.
1367
01:28:16,160 --> 01:28:17,400
Okay.
1368
01:28:28,560 --> 01:28:30,562
Don't do this. Please?
1369
01:28:31,680 --> 01:28:34,729
I'll do whatever you want.
I'll do whatever you want.
1370
01:28:34,880 --> 01:28:36,450
Whatever!
1371
01:28:38,320 --> 01:28:41,722
Even calling your family and telling them
everything you did to us?
1372
01:28:41,880 --> 01:28:43,041
Yes.
1373
01:28:43,200 --> 01:28:47,000
Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll tell them.
I'll tell them.
1374
01:28:48,080 --> 01:28:50,321
Okay, let's give him a lifeline.
1375
01:28:51,240 --> 01:28:54,210
I love the lifeline part. Let's see.
1376
01:28:54,720 --> 01:28:56,529
But the lifeline is a phone call.
1377
01:28:56,720 --> 01:28:58,245
Not FaceTime.
1378
01:28:58,680 --> 01:29:00,205
Your wife's not gonna see you like this.
1379
01:29:01,200 --> 01:29:03,282
(ON VOICEMAIL)
Hi, this is Karen Alvarado,
1380
01:29:03,480 --> 01:29:06,006
please leave a message
or send a text. Ciao.
1381
01:29:06,160 --> 01:29:07,491
(BEEPS)
1382
01:29:07,640 --> 01:29:09,324
Go ahead, talk.
1383
01:29:11,640 --> 01:29:15,042
Honey. I'm sorry for
what I'm gonna tell you.
1384
01:29:16,440 --> 01:29:17,726
They made me.
1385
01:29:18,560 --> 01:29:19,891
Fuck!
1386
01:29:21,080 --> 01:29:22,730
Call 911!
1387
01:29:22,880 --> 01:29:25,326
- Call 911! I've been kidnapped...
- Evan, Evan...
1388
01:29:25,480 --> 01:29:27,005
- ...by two girls!
- Evan!
1389
01:29:27,160 --> 01:29:28,730
Call 911!
1390
01:29:28,920 --> 01:29:30,490
- Call 911!
- No, no, no, Evan!
1391
01:29:30,640 --> 01:29:33,291
- You broke the rule.
- Evan, why did you do that?
1392
01:29:33,920 --> 01:29:35,843
Well, now she'll fucking find you!
1393
01:29:36,000 --> 01:29:37,047
Not really.
1394
01:29:37,480 --> 01:29:40,370
I hung up as soon as it hit voice mail.
I knew you'd pussy out.
1395
01:29:44,120 --> 01:29:45,690
You fucking whores!
1396
01:29:47,640 --> 01:29:49,324
You fucking whores!
1397
01:29:50,040 --> 01:29:53,522
I'll fucking kill you,
you fucking-fuck bitch cunt!
1398
01:29:53,680 --> 01:29:55,603
I'll fucking kill you!
You fucking bitches!
1399
01:29:55,760 --> 01:29:59,082
Oh, there's Evan. There he is!
1400
01:29:59,240 --> 01:30:00,730
We missed you.
1401
01:30:00,880 --> 01:30:02,325
Fucking whores!
1402
01:30:02,480 --> 01:30:04,005
(GROWLING)
1403
01:30:05,560 --> 01:30:06,766
Knock-knock!
1404
01:30:09,040 --> 01:30:11,691
I said knock-knock.
1405
01:30:11,880 --> 01:30:12,927
No!
1406
01:30:13,080 --> 01:30:14,650
I don't think he can talk.
1407
01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:16,365
Okay. Knock-knock.
1408
01:30:16,520 --> 01:30:17,851
Who's there?
1409
01:30:18,000 --> 01:30:20,002
- Cheating Evan.
- Cheating Evan who?
1410
01:30:20,160 --> 01:30:22,242
Cheating "Evan-tually" gets you killed.
1411
01:30:22,680 --> 01:30:24,682
No! No!
1412
01:30:25,800 --> 01:30:28,280
- Ready, Evan?
- No!
1413
01:30:28,480 --> 01:30:29,686
No!
1414
01:30:29,840 --> 01:30:31,410
- One!
- No!
1415
01:30:31,560 --> 01:30:32,971
- Two.
- Do it!
1416
01:30:33,120 --> 01:30:34,929
- No! No!
- Three!
1417
01:30:37,600 --> 01:30:40,206
(LAUGHING)
1418
01:30:42,360 --> 01:30:44,408
Look at his face.
1419
01:30:45,240 --> 01:30:47,686
(EVAN SOBBING)
1420
01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:50,689
We got you good.
1421
01:30:50,880 --> 01:30:53,531
You didn't really think we
were gonna kill you, did you?
1422
01:30:53,680 --> 01:30:55,250
We're not animals.
1423
01:30:55,400 --> 01:30:57,289
It was just a game, Evan.
1424
01:30:57,440 --> 01:31:00,330
A game? A game?
1425
01:31:00,480 --> 01:31:02,084
You know what?
1426
01:31:02,240 --> 01:31:05,210
For a moment, I thought
you were the one who'd say no.
1427
01:31:06,280 --> 01:31:09,523
And now we have to play
a game with someone else.
1428
01:31:10,680 --> 01:31:13,251
You know what's funny?
They never say no.
1429
01:31:14,320 --> 01:31:16,004
No matter who they are.
1430
01:31:16,160 --> 01:31:19,164
No matter how much
they love their families.
1431
01:31:19,520 --> 01:31:21,045
You're all the same.
1432
01:31:24,520 --> 01:31:25,567
Bye, Evan.
1433
01:31:27,880 --> 01:31:29,689
You were my favorite.
1434
01:31:31,240 --> 01:31:32,765
GENESIS: Oh!
1435
01:31:33,280 --> 01:31:35,521
Wish me happy birthday.
I turn 22 next week.
1436
01:31:35,680 --> 01:31:37,250
Yeah.
1437
01:31:37,400 --> 01:31:39,448
BEL: I freaked out when I turned 18.
1438
01:31:39,600 --> 01:31:42,001
But you made me feel 15 again.
Thanks, Evan.
1439
01:31:42,640 --> 01:31:43,880
(GIGGLING)
1440
01:31:44,040 --> 01:31:45,644
Let's get out of here.
1441
01:31:45,800 --> 01:31:48,849
Oh, I almost forgot. Yes, your phone.
1442
01:31:52,160 --> 01:31:54,561
You know you really should be
more careful with Facebook.
1443
01:31:54,720 --> 01:31:57,371
If you don't log out someone
could do terrible things with it.
1444
01:31:58,120 --> 01:32:01,966
Post something really personal
for all your friends to see.
1445
01:32:04,840 --> 01:32:07,764
Look closely. So you'll remember us.
1446
01:32:09,520 --> 01:32:11,124
GENESIS: (RECORDED) Yes, Evan, fuck her!
1447
01:32:11,280 --> 01:32:12,247
BEL: Fuck me, Daddy!
1448
01:32:12,400 --> 01:32:13,640
EVAN: Okay.
1449
01:32:14,960 --> 01:32:17,884
GENESIS: Attaboy, Evan. Fuck her!
1450
01:32:18,600 --> 01:32:20,523
BEL: Fuck me! Fuck me!
1451
01:32:20,920 --> 01:32:22,490
I'm sure you'll get
a lot of likes though.
1452
01:32:22,680 --> 01:32:24,205
GENESIS: Doggy style, Belly!
1453
01:32:24,360 --> 01:32:25,725
Enjoy!
1454
01:32:25,880 --> 01:32:26,961
(BEL HOWLING)
1455
01:32:27,120 --> 01:32:28,531
BEL: Oh!
1456
01:32:28,680 --> 01:32:32,241
Bye, Evan! Muah! We'll miss you!
1457
01:32:35,600 --> 01:32:37,125
Oh!
1458
01:32:39,520 --> 01:32:41,010
No!
1459
01:32:41,200 --> 01:32:43,202
(MOANING AND CRYING OUT FROM PHONE)
1460
01:32:43,360 --> 01:32:45,362
Oh, no!
1461
01:32:48,040 --> 01:32:49,565
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1462
01:33:06,200 --> 01:33:07,611
(GROANING)
1463
01:33:16,440 --> 01:33:18,488
Fuck me, Daddy!
1464
01:33:18,640 --> 01:33:20,881
God, God!
1465
01:33:25,520 --> 01:33:26,965
(PANTING)
1466
01:33:47,600 --> 01:33:49,443
(GRUNTS)
1467
01:35:01,280 --> 01:35:04,363
KAREN: Take your bags to your rooms.
Then go use the bathroom.
1468
01:35:04,520 --> 01:35:07,171
And then we're gonna
go see Monkey, okay?
1469
01:35:07,760 --> 01:35:09,364
- Are you guys tired?
- BOTH: Yeah!
1470
01:35:09,520 --> 01:35:11,204
LISA: Monkey?
1471
01:35:11,360 --> 01:35:13,328
Monkey?
1472
01:35:29,040 --> 01:35:30,963
Daddy had a party.