1
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Basic principles:
2
00:00:47,216 --> 00:00:49,275
No woman wakes up saying:
3
00:00:49,552 --> 00:00:52,544
"God, I hope I don't get
swept off my feet today. "
4
00:00:55,524 --> 00:01:00,018
Now, she might say,
"This is a really bad time for me. "
5
00:01:02,298 --> 00:01:06,496
Or something like, "I just need some space. "
6
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Or my personal favorite:
7
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"I'm really into my career right now. "
8
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You believe that? Neither does she.
9
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You know why?
Because she's lying to you, that's why.
10
00:01:23,919 --> 00:01:26,479
You understand me? Lying.
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It's not a bad time for her.
She doesn't need any space.
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She may be into her career...
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but what she's really saying is,
"Get away from me now. "
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Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid. "
15
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Well, which one is it?
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00:01:44,740 --> 00:01:48,972
60% of all human communication
is nonverbal.
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Body language.
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30% is your tone.
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So that means that
90% of what you're saying...
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ain't coming out of your mouth.
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Toby!
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Shit!
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00:02:06,629 --> 00:02:07,926
Of course she'll lie to you.
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She's a nice person,
she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings.
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What else is she gonna say?
She doesn't even know you.
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Yet.
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Luckily, the fact is
that just like the rest of us...
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even a beautiful woman doesn't know
what she wants until she sees it.
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And that's where I come in.
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My job is to open her eyes.
31
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Oh, my God!
32
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Is this what you're looking for?
33
00:02:39,428 --> 00:02:43,296
Basic principles: No matter what,
no matter when, no matter who...
34
00:02:43,432 --> 00:02:46,924
any man has a chance
to sweep any woman off her feet.
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Just needs the right broom.
36
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You cannot use what you do not have.
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00:03:00,983 --> 00:03:03,975
So if you're shy, be shy.
If you're outgoing, be outgoing.
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00:03:04,119 --> 00:03:06,553
- I'm not outgoing.
- That's okay.
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She may not want the whole truth,
but she does want the real you.
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She may not want to see it all at once,
but she does want to see it.
41
00:03:13,762 --> 00:03:18,563
So tonight, when you're wondering what
to say, how you look, or if she likes you...
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00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:21,636
just remember, she is already out with you.
43
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That means she said yes
when she could have said no.
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00:03:26,341 --> 00:03:30,277
That means she made a plan
when she could have just blown you off.
45
00:03:30,412 --> 00:03:34,473
So that means it is no longer your job
to try to make her like you.
46
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It is your job not to mess it up.
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00:03:40,856 --> 00:03:43,416
The shoes are hot.
You went to the place I told you?
48
00:03:43,525 --> 00:03:48,053
Yeah, but I don't think they're really me.
49
00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:51,897
"You" is a very fluid concept right now.
50
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You bought the shoes.
You look great in the shoes.
51
00:03:55,671 --> 00:03:57,468
That's the you I'm talking about.
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00:04:00,309 --> 00:04:03,073
The key tonight is hang back.
53
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:06,138
Give her plenty of space.
54
00:04:06,815 --> 00:04:09,807
If she lingers at a photograph, move on.
55
00:04:11,787 --> 00:04:13,778
But maintain the visual.
56
00:04:17,693 --> 00:04:22,494
It's supposed to be 64 and clear tonight.
So when you leave the club, walk a little.
57
00:04:22,631 --> 00:04:24,929
Ask her what she thought about the show...
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00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:27,763
what was her favorite photograph,
why that one.
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00:04:27,870 --> 00:04:31,271
And when she answers,
don't be looking at her mouth.
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00:04:31,373 --> 00:04:34,035
Don't be wondering
what she looks like naked.
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Listen to what she is saying and respond.
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Listen and respond.
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00:04:41,216 --> 00:04:43,013
That way, when it's your turn to talk...
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00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:46,053
you'll have something better to say than,
"I like your mouth. "
65
00:04:46,188 --> 00:04:48,452
What was your favorite one?
66
00:04:49,258 --> 00:04:51,351
The elephant, definitely.
67
00:04:51,493 --> 00:04:54,155
And all of a sudden,
we're on date number two.
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Ready.
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00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:06,368
No way.
70
00:05:08,076 --> 00:05:11,136
We're going back in there.
You have to smile.
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00:05:11,446 --> 00:05:15,041
In case you didn't go to high school,
hitting is a good thing.
72
00:05:15,184 --> 00:05:17,709
So how does it happen, great love?
73
00:05:17,853 --> 00:05:18,877
Are you okay?
74
00:05:19,021 --> 00:05:20,648
- Nobody knows.
- I'm good.
75
00:05:20,756 --> 00:05:24,089
Let me get a Bomb Pop
and a Screwball for the lady.
76
00:05:24,226 --> 00:05:28,492
But what I can tell you,
is that it happens in the blink of an eye.
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One moment, you're enjoying your life.
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And the next, you're wondering
how you ever lived without them.
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Three dates is all I need.
80
00:05:41,610 --> 00:05:45,569
Three dates, and I'll get you here,
to the high-stakes medal round...
81
00:05:45,714 --> 00:05:48,706
where eight out of 10 women
believe that the first kiss...
82
00:05:48,817 --> 00:05:52,685
will tell them everything they need to know
about the relationship.
83
00:06:22,184 --> 00:06:24,584
After that, you're on your own.
84
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:27,119
But always remember...
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life is not the amount of breaths you take.
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It's the moments that take your breath away.
87
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Did I call it or did I call it?
88
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I mean, what did I say, six months?
89
00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:46,002
And when was her first date?
90
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So five-and-a-half?
God, I hate it when I'm right.
91
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:52,907
What is it about guys that makes them
want to screw anything that walks...
92
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even when they're going out with
someone as awesome as Allegra Cole?
93
00:06:56,485 --> 00:06:59,249
She's only the most fabulous thing
walking around New York.
94
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Thanks, Young.
95
00:07:00,522 --> 00:07:02,820
Are you kidding?
Of course I'm gonna run it.
96
00:07:02,991 --> 00:07:06,358
Why should she waste her heart
on some Swedish aristo-brat?
97
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Even if he is gorgeous.
98
00:07:08,830 --> 00:07:10,297
If he's stupid enough to cheat...
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00:07:10,399 --> 00:07:12,833
the world should know
he's dumb enough to get caught.
100
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Exactly. I'm in the elevator.
See you in a minute.
101
00:07:15,504 --> 00:07:17,631
Good morning, how are you?
102
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Bitter, party of one.
103
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You should try it sometime.
104
00:07:22,544 --> 00:07:25,809
Barbados by myself?
I wouldn't last five minutes.
105
00:07:25,914 --> 00:07:27,711
It was just what the doctor ordered.
106
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I slept in, I did my yoga,
I read a couple of books...
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flirted with my scuba instructor.
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- And apparently never left the office.
- I know, isn't that great?
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You should've taken someone with you.
110
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Who am I gonna take with me?
111
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This is where a boyfriend comes in handy.
112
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:47,792
- I don't have time for a boyfriend.
- You said that two years ago.
113
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Yes, and it's as true today as it was then.
114
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I thought you were on vacation.
115
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See if these are in focus
and have them in my desk in an hour.
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Besides, relationships are for people
waiting for something better to come along.
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Spoken like a true cynic.
118
00:08:03,685 --> 00:08:05,550
I'm not a cynic. I'm a realist.
119
00:08:05,687 --> 00:08:10,147
You are a realist masquerading as a cynic
who is secretly an optimist.
120
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What are you doing here?
What is she doing here?
121
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She works here, remember?
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No, she doesn't. Not for another four days.
123
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- This couldn't wait.
- It could.
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What are you doing? Go back to the beach.
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- I don't want you here.
- No, really, you do.
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You are becoming
a sick, workaholic lunatic...
127
00:08:27,442 --> 00:08:29,137
and this is exactly...
128
00:08:29,244 --> 00:08:33,408
the kind of nervous, overwrought behavior
that leads to...
129
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Pictures of Sebby with a busty brunette.
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A very big raise.
131
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Jesus. You could find dirt in a snowstorm.
132
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Comes with the job.
133
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You know, kiddo, there is more to life
than watching other people live it.
134
00:08:50,432 --> 00:08:52,764
Can I help he was cheating on my beach?
135
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I think it's great
that you're so good at your job.
136
00:08:55,570 --> 00:08:58,198
I'm just a little worried as to why.
137
00:08:59,641 --> 00:09:01,666
Let me worry about that.
138
00:09:02,044 --> 00:09:05,036
Okay. I want that column on my desk
by lunch.
139
00:09:05,147 --> 00:09:06,512
So you'll pay for my hotel?
140
00:09:06,615 --> 00:09:10,051
For you to sip mai tais?
I don't think so. Get out.
141
00:09:22,564 --> 00:09:23,963
- Come on.
- What?
142
00:09:24,099 --> 00:09:25,532
- That's good, right?
- No.
143
00:09:25,634 --> 00:09:27,226
No, it was in and it freaked out.
144
00:09:27,335 --> 00:09:31,362
You know what your problem is, Hitch?
You're all about the short game.
145
00:09:32,974 --> 00:09:36,273
You pick your shots
based on what you see first...
146
00:09:36,678 --> 00:09:39,943
not what's necessarily best for you...
147
00:09:41,116 --> 00:09:42,743
in the long run.
148
00:09:43,518 --> 00:09:47,887
All of us are not married to the woman
of our dreams and about to have a baby.
149
00:09:47,989 --> 00:09:51,550
You know, I'm very happy for you.
Just not meant for everybody.
150
00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:54,595
So please just leave me to my hot, sweaty...
151
00:09:54,696 --> 00:09:57,927
totally varied, wildly experimental
short game.
152
00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:02,133
- I was talking about pool, but whatever.
- Yeah, okay.
153
00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:05,000
Honestly, I just hope one day
you're able to experience...
154
00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:08,837
the unconditional love, trust,
and openness...
155
00:10:08,977 --> 00:10:10,842
that I share with Grace every single day.
156
00:10:10,979 --> 00:10:14,608
- Is this really barroom talk?
- You need to listen to me. I'm serious.
157
00:10:14,716 --> 00:10:17,412
Because when you get to a place
with a woman like that...
158
00:10:17,519 --> 00:10:19,350
it's so beyond anything physical that...
159
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:22,150
when I think back to
when I used to run around with you...
160
00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:25,259
and chase all these really gorgeous
but shallow women...
161
00:10:25,393 --> 00:10:30,330
I don't know, it's kind of ridiculous
and vaguely pathetic.
162
00:10:37,472 --> 00:10:40,498
Yeah, I see what you mean. That's pathetic.
163
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:46,345
So, how'd you meet him?
164
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I was in La Perla
just buying some weekend thongs.
165
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:52,043
- And he was doing likewise?
- No.
166
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:55,456
Actually, he said he was buying something
for his mom.
167
00:10:55,557 --> 00:10:56,854
His mom?
168
00:10:57,159 --> 00:10:59,821
Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie
for their mother?
169
00:10:59,928 --> 00:11:02,226
Well, maybe he was looking for a robe.
170
00:11:02,564 --> 00:11:06,898
Casey, he was hitting on you while
he was buying lingerie for another woman.
171
00:11:07,936 --> 00:11:11,565
- I prefer the mother story.
- I know you do, but that's not the point.
172
00:11:11,706 --> 00:11:14,971
No, the point is I'm not gonna start out
assuming the guy's a liar.
173
00:11:15,076 --> 00:11:17,704
- Why not?
- Because that's how you wind up...
174
00:11:19,014 --> 00:11:21,039
Like me? Is that what you were gonna say?
175
00:11:21,183 --> 00:11:23,651
No. I was gonna say, "Like you. "
176
00:11:24,052 --> 00:11:25,986
- What's his name?
- Why?
177
00:11:26,421 --> 00:11:28,855
- I'm gonna Google him.
- No. Google your own guy.
178
00:11:28,957 --> 00:11:30,925
Let's just see if his mother's still alive.
179
00:11:31,059 --> 00:11:33,994
- So when is Grace due again?
- Soon.
180
00:11:34,429 --> 00:11:36,989
- You excited?
- What'd you say?
181
00:11:37,299 --> 00:11:39,893
Do you want me to go get them
and bring them over here?
182
00:11:40,035 --> 00:11:41,195
No, don't do that.
183
00:11:41,303 --> 00:11:45,330
Are you saying you don't wanna talk to them
because you can't go home with them?
184
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,670
I'm just trying to keep my head above water.
185
00:11:47,776 --> 00:11:50,506
- Have you heard of the Date Doctor?
- Urban myth.
186
00:11:50,612 --> 00:11:51,874
- Really?
- Absolutely.
187
00:11:51,980 --> 00:11:53,607
I was hoping he also helped women.
188
00:11:53,748 --> 00:11:56,774
Casey, you're not sick. You're single.
189
00:11:57,052 --> 00:11:59,384
You just have to relax and enjoy the ride.
190
00:11:59,487 --> 00:12:01,717
I haven't been ridden in months.
191
00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:09,753
On that happy note, I'm gonna go see
if anybody interesting came in tonight.
192
00:12:09,898 --> 00:12:12,093
- You mean, besides me.
- Right.
193
00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:13,723
Bye.
194
00:12:13,835 --> 00:12:16,235
I'll go get those girls,
bring them over here...
195
00:12:16,338 --> 00:12:18,568
and we'll have a conversation
like human beings.
196
00:12:18,673 --> 00:12:22,404
Then you're gonna home,
and I'll take them back to my apartment.
197
00:12:22,510 --> 00:12:26,970
Well, that sounds like fun for me.
But you might want to get in line, pal.
198
00:12:27,115 --> 00:12:29,982
- Hey, girl.
- Hey, how are you?
199
00:12:31,753 --> 00:12:35,951
Hey, baby, can I get a couple Coronas
at the pool table, please? Thanks.
200
00:12:36,091 --> 00:12:37,456
Excuse me.
201
00:12:40,128 --> 00:12:41,959
Lime wedges in the bottle's fine.
202
00:12:42,097 --> 00:12:44,463
Hey, asshole, I don't work here.
203
00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:53,707
I'm sorry. The paramedics will have to come
to get my foot out of my mouth, sweetheart.
204
00:12:53,808 --> 00:12:56,106
Just don't let it happen again.
205
00:12:56,244 --> 00:12:58,769
- I knew you didn't work here.
- You did?
206
00:12:58,913 --> 00:13:02,371
How else was I supposed to get you away
from all those guys?
207
00:13:03,084 --> 00:13:05,382
Why would you want to do that?
208
00:13:05,854 --> 00:13:09,290
Some guys naturally develop a comfort
with the opposite sex.
209
00:13:09,491 --> 00:13:13,325
They like women, women like them.
Everything flows naturally.
210
00:13:14,162 --> 00:13:17,723
Back in college, I was just not one of them.
211
00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:25,105
I seemed to lack the basic understanding...
212
00:13:25,206 --> 00:13:27,766
that my peers just intuitively grasped.
213
00:13:27,876 --> 00:13:32,438
But like any late bloomer,
I was eager to make up for lost time.
214
00:13:35,317 --> 00:13:38,411
Her name was Cressida Baylor.
215
00:13:39,387 --> 00:13:42,515
Can you tell me
where the registration building is?
216
00:13:46,027 --> 00:13:48,461
And my life would never be the same.
217
00:13:48,563 --> 00:13:51,031
- I'm Alex.
- Cressida.
218
00:13:54,402 --> 00:13:56,768
What we had was beautiful.
219
00:14:02,577 --> 00:14:03,976
I love you.
220
00:14:06,748 --> 00:14:08,511
I love you so much.
221
00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:11,382
I love you, too, Alex.
222
00:14:17,759 --> 00:14:20,819
I know you don't love me
as much as I love you.
223
00:14:20,929 --> 00:14:24,797
But that's okay.
I'm just glad you love me at all.
224
00:14:24,899 --> 00:14:28,232
In retrospect,
I guess I may have come on a little strong.
225
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,840
But the experience taught me a lot.
226
00:14:34,943 --> 00:14:36,240
Cressida!
227
00:14:40,115 --> 00:14:41,810
What are you doing?
228
00:14:41,916 --> 00:14:43,315
I'm sorry, Alex.
229
00:14:43,418 --> 00:14:47,821
But I love you. What did I do wrong?
Just tell me what I did wrong.
230
00:14:48,022 --> 00:14:50,081
You're doing it right now.
231
00:14:51,092 --> 00:14:52,719
Alex, I'm sorry.
232
00:14:56,297 --> 00:15:00,495
And it's an education
I feel obliged to pass on to my fellow men.
233
00:15:04,406 --> 00:15:08,536
Because with no guile and no game,
there's no girl.
234
00:15:09,944 --> 00:15:11,571
If ever a man born was without game...
235
00:15:13,148 --> 00:15:15,207
it was Albert Brennaman.
236
00:15:40,742 --> 00:15:45,543
My business is 100% referral
and, thus far, untraceable.
237
00:15:45,647 --> 00:15:47,478
And if there's one thing I've learned...
238
00:15:47,615 --> 00:15:51,312
when you orchestrate, coordinate,
and otherwise mess with fate...
239
00:15:51,453 --> 00:15:53,921
it's best to fly under the radar.
240
00:16:31,993 --> 00:16:34,359
I hope she's single
'cause I don't do break-ups.
241
00:16:34,496 --> 00:16:36,464
Hi. Thank you for seeing me.
242
00:16:36,564 --> 00:16:40,022
Yeah, no.
I mean, she just got out of a relationship.
243
00:16:40,502 --> 00:16:43,528
Is that a problem?
Because if it is, that's fine.
244
00:16:43,671 --> 00:16:45,969
I'm a little uncomfortable with this anyway.
245
00:16:46,074 --> 00:16:50,306
Definitely been hurt a lot.
I had a lot of bad experiences.
246
00:16:50,411 --> 00:16:53,869
Some good ones.
But definitely a lot of bad ones.
247
00:16:54,582 --> 00:16:58,678
I'm desperate, basically.
I mean, not in general, you understand?
248
00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:02,517
You know, not just for anybody.
But, man, for her... Yeah.
249
00:17:02,991 --> 00:17:05,357
Why don't you tell me about her?
250
00:17:06,494 --> 00:17:08,621
Let's see, what can I say?
251
00:17:08,930 --> 00:17:12,627
My company handles her finances.
I'm her tax consultant.
252
00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:16,466
Well, I'm one of them.
I'm the junior man on the account.
253
00:17:16,571 --> 00:17:19,005
- So does she know you're interested?
- No.
254
00:17:23,177 --> 00:17:24,337
Alive?
255
00:17:25,413 --> 00:17:26,880
I lent her my pen once.
256
00:17:27,382 --> 00:17:29,680
Shoot. Does anyone have a pen?
257
00:17:29,817 --> 00:17:33,309
- Here, take mine.
- Albert, you're crushing my arm.
258
00:17:33,421 --> 00:17:35,946
Sorry about that. Here you go, Allegra.
259
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,856
Allegra? As in Allegra Cole?
260
00:17:41,996 --> 00:17:44,726
Yeah, I realize that I'm not her usual type.
261
00:17:44,866 --> 00:17:48,666
Well, her last boyfriend owned Sweden
or something.
262
00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:50,499
And that guy was a bum.
263
00:17:50,605 --> 00:17:53,665
He didn't seem like
a very nice person to me.
264
00:17:54,709 --> 00:17:56,734
You swing for the fence.
265
00:17:56,911 --> 00:18:00,312
Look, you don't think I tried
talking myself out of this?
266
00:18:00,415 --> 00:18:04,249
I mean, you don't think I know
how ridiculous this is? I know, okay?
267
00:18:04,385 --> 00:18:07,821
I just thought that maybe with your help...
268
00:18:09,891 --> 00:18:13,884
You know what?
I'm really sorry I wasted your time.
269
00:18:25,306 --> 00:18:27,365
Hold on a second, Albert.
270
00:18:29,911 --> 00:18:34,007
You know what it's like
getting up every morning feeling hopeless?
271
00:18:34,215 --> 00:18:37,707
Feeling like the love of your life
is waking up with the wrong man?
272
00:18:37,819 --> 00:18:42,722
But at the same time,
hoping that she still finds happiness...
273
00:18:43,224 --> 00:18:46,057
even if it's never gonna be with you?
274
00:18:47,428 --> 00:18:50,226
You are flat-out...
275
00:18:51,099 --> 00:18:54,262
out of your mind. You know that?
276
00:18:58,172 --> 00:18:59,605
That's good.
277
00:19:00,742 --> 00:19:01,902
It is?
278
00:19:02,844 --> 00:19:05,210
You ever heard of Michelangelo?
279
00:19:05,313 --> 00:19:07,543
Heard of the Sistine Chapel?
280
00:19:09,083 --> 00:19:10,550
Michelangelo.
281
00:19:11,486 --> 00:19:13,044
Sistine Chapel.
282
00:19:13,287 --> 00:19:15,050
You saying you can do this?
283
00:19:15,156 --> 00:19:18,717
My name is Alex Hitchens.
Let's go paint that ceiling.
284
00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:49,689
Take it easy.
285
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:52,492
Oh, my God!
286
00:20:38,372 --> 00:20:40,897
Well, it looks like I'm still rich.
287
00:20:44,545 --> 00:20:48,879
But what I would really like,
and what I was wondering is...
288
00:20:50,184 --> 00:20:54,245
if I could have $500,000
to invest on my own.
289
00:20:56,257 --> 00:21:00,353
And what were you thinking
of investing in, Allegra?
290
00:21:01,863 --> 00:21:06,493
Well, it's something
that I really have a passion for.
291
00:21:12,573 --> 00:21:14,905
Daydreams are for private time.
292
00:21:15,243 --> 00:21:17,507
When you're in the room, be in the room.
293
00:21:17,612 --> 00:21:21,241
Concentrate. Focus.
Women respond when you respond to them.
294
00:21:21,449 --> 00:21:24,282
My friend Maggie is a talented designer.
295
00:21:24,719 --> 00:21:29,053
I've seen the business plan
and the samples look fantastic.
296
00:21:30,091 --> 00:21:34,187
And I would really like to get involved.
297
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,461
I'll tell you what.
298
00:21:40,601 --> 00:21:45,265
Let us come up with a range of investments
that we think you might be interested in...
299
00:21:45,406 --> 00:21:49,001
and next month,
we'll run the whole lot of them by you.
300
00:21:52,113 --> 00:21:53,102
Okay.
301
00:21:53,247 --> 00:21:55,738
Fine. Thank you. All right, gentlemen.
302
00:21:56,284 --> 00:21:58,878
Let's go over this one more time.
What is the objective?
303
00:21:58,986 --> 00:22:00,419
Shock and awe.
304
00:22:00,555 --> 00:22:03,422
That was shockingly awful.
What is the objective?
305
00:22:03,558 --> 00:22:04,718
Shock and awe.
306
00:22:04,826 --> 00:22:07,192
What is the objective?
307
00:22:07,995 --> 00:22:10,793
- Excuse me, sir.
- Yes, Albert?
308
00:22:18,406 --> 00:22:21,705
I don't really agree with that.
309
00:22:21,809 --> 00:22:24,300
You don't really agree with what?
310
00:22:30,985 --> 00:22:34,386
I think if you want to invest $500,000
in your friend's business...
311
00:22:34,488 --> 00:22:35,978
that's exactly what you should do.
312
00:22:36,123 --> 00:22:38,921
You don't need us to tell you what to do.
313
00:22:39,026 --> 00:22:42,086
We're a board of advisers,
not your kindergarten teachers.
314
00:22:42,196 --> 00:22:44,426
If you want to be taken seriously
as an adult...
315
00:22:44,532 --> 00:22:46,898
then start taking yourself seriously
as an adult...
316
00:22:47,001 --> 00:22:49,970
instead of asking for permission
to invest your own money...
317
00:22:50,104 --> 00:22:52,800
from a boardroom
full of your daddy's golf buddies.
318
00:22:52,940 --> 00:22:54,669
- That's quite enough!
- I'm not finished.
319
00:22:54,809 --> 00:22:59,007
I'd like to see anybody in this room
handle the attention and publicity...
320
00:22:59,146 --> 00:23:02,809
that she's had to deal with her whole life,
with half her class.
321
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:09,249
We should be taking advice from you,
Miss Cole. Not the other way around.
322
00:23:09,357 --> 00:23:12,121
- Sit down...
- No! You know what? I quit!
323
00:23:22,503 --> 00:23:23,868
Oh, my God.
324
00:23:34,015 --> 00:23:36,711
Just breathe. How'd it go?
325
00:23:36,851 --> 00:23:40,378
I yelled at her. I screamed at my boss!
I quit my job!
326
00:23:40,922 --> 00:23:42,685
- What?
- You said...
327
00:23:43,057 --> 00:23:45,617
- I gotta go back.
- No, I didn't tell you to quit.
328
00:23:45,726 --> 00:23:47,489
Relax. Okay, listen, we're fine.
329
00:23:47,595 --> 00:23:50,063
- Would you let me go?
- Albert, no!
330
00:23:51,432 --> 00:23:54,299
Just relax! Okay?
331
00:23:54,835 --> 00:23:58,202
- Just let it marinate for a second. Trust me.
- No!
332
00:24:08,516 --> 00:24:10,541
Relax.
333
00:24:10,685 --> 00:24:12,812
- It's Allegra Cole.
- Answer it.
334
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:16,481
- Could I speak to you a second?
- Answer the door, Albert.
335
00:24:20,928 --> 00:24:22,190
Yes. Hi.
336
00:24:22,964 --> 00:24:24,363
What's up?
337
00:24:24,699 --> 00:24:26,599
Listen, Albert, right?
338
00:24:27,435 --> 00:24:32,372
- People don't usually talk to me like that.
- Close your mouth, man.
339
00:24:32,473 --> 00:24:35,067
Let me rephrase that.
340
00:24:35,209 --> 00:24:38,042
People never talk to me like that.
341
00:24:39,647 --> 00:24:40,841
Stand up.
342
00:24:40,948 --> 00:24:43,712
I guess it's kind of scary for them.
343
00:24:44,552 --> 00:24:48,420
But that's why I really appreciate
what you did in there.
344
00:24:49,824 --> 00:24:51,724
But I was wondering...
345
00:24:51,826 --> 00:24:56,058
do you think that you and I could
get together sometime this week?
346
00:24:58,132 --> 00:25:00,794
You know, to go over things.
347
00:25:01,769 --> 00:25:03,532
Financial things.
348
00:25:03,637 --> 00:25:07,767
I'd like to see the areas
where I can afford to take some risks.
349
00:25:07,908 --> 00:25:10,240
- Check your schedule.
- I'll check my schedule.
350
00:25:10,344 --> 00:25:13,780
Great. Let me give you my number.
Do you have a pen?
351
00:25:14,015 --> 00:25:16,108
I don't think I have one.
352
00:25:21,022 --> 00:25:22,785
- Yes, I do.
- Great.
353
00:25:35,002 --> 00:25:36,799
And call me Allegra.
354
00:25:39,306 --> 00:25:42,104
- You're done.
- Goodbye.
355
00:25:45,846 --> 00:25:47,143
Good job.
356
00:25:50,017 --> 00:25:51,075
Oh, damn.
357
00:26:12,540 --> 00:26:16,943
She's some kind of newspaper columnist.
Comes in here once in a while. Great tipper.
358
00:26:17,044 --> 00:26:18,102
What's her drink?
359
00:26:18,212 --> 00:26:21,511
Usually beer.
Tonight, Grey Goose martini, dirty.
360
00:26:31,826 --> 00:26:32,850
Hi.
361
00:26:34,795 --> 00:26:36,490
I noticed your glass was getting low...
362
00:26:36,630 --> 00:26:39,497
so I took the liberty
of bringing you another apple martini.
363
00:26:39,633 --> 00:26:40,622
Thank you.
364
00:26:40,734 --> 00:26:44,761
And I couldn't help but notice
you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
365
00:26:45,339 --> 00:26:47,830
- What's your name?
- They call me Chip.
366
00:26:47,975 --> 00:26:50,136
You can't get them to stop?
367
00:26:51,312 --> 00:26:52,506
That was funny.
368
00:26:52,646 --> 00:26:56,138
Listen, I understand the courage it takes
to walk across a room...
369
00:26:56,250 --> 00:26:58,775
and try to generate a relationship
out of thin air.
370
00:26:58,886 --> 00:27:02,686
- So don't take the following personally.
- You have fantastic eyes.
371
00:27:04,091 --> 00:27:06,025
Thanks. Try to listen.
372
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:10,119
This is no reflection on you.
I'm just not interested.
373
00:27:10,431 --> 00:27:12,899
But thank you for the compliment
of coming over.
374
00:27:13,033 --> 00:27:15,900
You're welcome.
So do you like Cuban food?
375
00:27:16,670 --> 00:27:20,572
Chip, seriously, that was not code for,
"I wish you'd try harder. "
376
00:27:20,708 --> 00:27:24,838
Are you always so shut-down and afraid
that the right man might make you...
377
00:27:24,945 --> 00:27:27,038
Feel like a natural woman?
378
00:27:27,848 --> 00:27:31,045
Sorry I'm late, honey.
I couldn't get a cab. How was the meeting?
379
00:27:31,185 --> 00:27:34,848
Well, there was a beginning,
a middle, and an end.
380
00:27:35,289 --> 00:27:37,257
Nice to meet you, Chip.
381
00:27:42,563 --> 00:27:43,894
You, too.
382
00:27:46,967 --> 00:27:49,595
On the one hand,
it is very difficult for a man...
383
00:27:49,737 --> 00:27:52,433
to even speak to someone
who looks like you.
384
00:27:52,573 --> 00:27:55,770
But on the other hand,
should that be your problem?
385
00:27:55,910 --> 00:27:58,401
So life's kind of hard all around.
386
00:27:59,046 --> 00:28:01,378
Not if you pay attention.
387
00:28:03,217 --> 00:28:05,185
You're sending all the right signals:
388
00:28:05,286 --> 00:28:08,744
No earrings, heels under two inches,
your hair is pulled back...
389
00:28:08,889 --> 00:28:12,518
wearing reading glasses with no book,
drinking a Grey Goose martini...
390
00:28:12,626 --> 00:28:15,891
which means you had a hell of a week
and a beer just wouldn't do it.
391
00:28:15,996 --> 00:28:17,361
If that wasn't clear enough...
392
00:28:17,464 --> 00:28:21,594
there's always the "fuck off"
that you have stamped on your forehead.
393
00:28:21,735 --> 00:28:26,035
Who'd believe there's a man out there
that can sit by a woman he doesn't know...
394
00:28:26,140 --> 00:28:30,236
and genuinely be interested in who she is,
what she does, without his own agenda?
395
00:28:30,344 --> 00:28:33,279
I wouldn't even know
what that would look like.
396
00:28:33,447 --> 00:28:35,438
So what would a guy like that say?
397
00:28:35,583 --> 00:28:38,984
He'd say, "My name is Alex Hitchens
and I'm a consultant. "
398
00:28:39,119 --> 00:28:40,950
But she wouldn't be interested in that...
399
00:28:41,088 --> 00:28:43,556
because she'd be counting the seconds
until he left.
400
00:28:43,657 --> 00:28:46,148
Thinking he was like every other guy.
401
00:28:46,293 --> 00:28:49,490
Which, life experience has taught her,
is a virtual certainty.
402
00:28:49,630 --> 00:28:52,428
But then he'd ask her name
and what she did for a living...
403
00:28:52,533 --> 00:28:54,728
and she might blow him off.
404
00:28:54,935 --> 00:28:56,732
Or she might say...
405
00:29:01,275 --> 00:29:05,177
I'm Sara Melas.
I run the gossip column at the Standard.
406
00:29:05,312 --> 00:29:08,281
And then he'd ask
all these penetrating questions about her...
407
00:29:08,382 --> 00:29:11,613
because he was sincerely,
if atypically, interested.
408
00:29:11,719 --> 00:29:12,777
No.
409
00:29:13,153 --> 00:29:15,587
- No?
- He'd be interested.
410
00:29:16,991 --> 00:29:19,152
But he'd see that there was no way...
411
00:29:19,293 --> 00:29:23,093
he could possibly make her realize
that he was for real.
412
00:29:23,197 --> 00:29:28,328
Well, he could be funny and charming
and refreshingly original.
413
00:29:29,169 --> 00:29:30,636
Wouldn't help.
414
00:29:30,738 --> 00:29:33,866
- Don't you hate it when that happens?
- Not really.
415
00:29:34,008 --> 00:29:37,705
They'd both probably go on
to lead the lives they were headed toward.
416
00:29:37,845 --> 00:29:40,643
My guess is they'd do just fine.
417
00:29:42,750 --> 00:29:45,810
It's a pleasure to have met you, Sara Melas.
418
00:29:50,858 --> 00:29:54,316
Grey Goose martini
from the gentleman who just left.
419
00:29:59,700 --> 00:30:01,292
Is that for me?
420
00:30:04,104 --> 00:30:05,230
What?
421
00:30:20,521 --> 00:30:22,751
Vance Munson. Sorry I'm late.
422
00:30:23,757 --> 00:30:26,658
No, not a problem.
423
00:30:27,895 --> 00:30:29,692
Wow, you're the...
424
00:30:30,631 --> 00:30:34,362
- Can I get you something to drink, Mr...
- No, I'm fine, thank you.
425
00:30:34,468 --> 00:30:36,333
So, tell me about her.
426
00:30:38,806 --> 00:30:40,501
Have you ever met someone...
427
00:30:40,607 --> 00:30:43,405
and you knew right away
she was gonna be important to you?
428
00:30:43,544 --> 00:30:46,945
Not just because of her looks,
but that X factor.
429
00:30:47,981 --> 00:30:49,505
How'd you meet her?
430
00:30:49,616 --> 00:30:53,017
Actually, I was in a shop
buying pajamas for my mom.
431
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,020
And by that, of course, you mean...
432
00:30:55,122 --> 00:30:58,057
you were buying lingerie
for another woman.
433
00:30:59,426 --> 00:31:03,055
Yes. You can't help
where you meet somebody.
434
00:31:03,764 --> 00:31:06,289
And the lingerie is for a woman
I'm no longer seeing.
435
00:31:06,433 --> 00:31:09,300
But anyway, the girl I met,
the one I was talking about...
436
00:31:09,436 --> 00:31:12,132
she's so sweet, funny, Southern.
437
00:31:12,272 --> 00:31:15,298
She gives me her number.
Now she won't return my phone calls.
438
00:31:15,442 --> 00:31:19,105
I don't know what it is about her.
I just can't get her out of my mind.
439
00:31:19,246 --> 00:31:23,273
You know, food has lost its taste.
Colors, they seem dull.
440
00:31:23,417 --> 00:31:27,148
Things that used to matter...
I don't know, they just no longer do.
441
00:31:27,287 --> 00:31:30,256
I think things aren't gonna snap back
unless I...
442
00:31:32,159 --> 00:31:33,888
Unless I bang her.
443
00:31:36,096 --> 00:31:37,461
Excuse me?
444
00:31:39,199 --> 00:31:42,657
You know, bang her. Clear my head.
Get in, get off, get out.
445
00:31:45,439 --> 00:31:48,738
I think you may have misunderstood
what I do exactly.
446
00:31:48,842 --> 00:31:51,572
No, I was told you help guys get in there.
447
00:31:51,678 --> 00:31:53,612
Right. But, see, here's the thing.
448
00:31:53,714 --> 00:31:57,115
My clients actually like women.
449
00:31:59,853 --> 00:32:02,287
Hit it and quit it is not my thing.
450
00:32:02,389 --> 00:32:06,325
Let me make one thing clear to you, rabbi.
I need professional help.
451
00:32:06,460 --> 00:32:09,258
Well, that is for damn certain.
452
00:32:09,696 --> 00:32:14,258
And I'm glad you can admit it
because generally that's the hardest part.
453
00:32:17,204 --> 00:32:20,332
You see what I'm doing?
This is what I'm about.
454
00:32:21,241 --> 00:32:23,505
Power suit, power tie, power steering.
455
00:32:23,644 --> 00:32:27,671
People can wince, cry, beg,
but eventually they do what I want.
456
00:32:29,583 --> 00:32:31,676
So that's, like, a metaphor.
457
00:32:34,254 --> 00:32:37,121
Well, I'm more of a literal kind of guy.
458
00:32:37,224 --> 00:32:39,021
So when I do this...
459
00:32:41,061 --> 00:32:45,327
this is more like me saying
that I will literally break your shit off...
460
00:32:45,432 --> 00:32:48,299
if you ever touch me again. Okay, pumpkin?
461
00:32:48,402 --> 00:32:49,630
Got it.
462
00:32:57,678 --> 00:32:59,646
No.
463
00:32:59,746 --> 00:33:04,012
Pablo, I can't just mention your restaurant.
Somebody has to eat there.
464
00:33:04,117 --> 00:33:07,052
No, somebody famous. You know that.
465
00:33:07,354 --> 00:33:08,981
- Sara Melas?
- No.
466
00:33:09,890 --> 00:33:11,482
Okay. Bye.
467
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,391
I need your signature.
468
00:33:29,610 --> 00:33:34,274
I hate it when a guy calls a girl
who did not give him her number.
469
00:33:34,414 --> 00:33:36,848
So this is me not calling. Over.
470
00:33:36,950 --> 00:33:39,919
Yes, you're right.
This is much less invasive.
471
00:33:40,053 --> 00:33:42,920
I've been thinking about
that sign on your forehead.
472
00:33:43,056 --> 00:33:47,049
And I was wondering if you'd mind
taking it down for dinner Friday night. Over.
473
00:33:47,494 --> 00:33:50,793
I can't. I have a couple of parties
I have to hit.
474
00:33:51,465 --> 00:33:53,126
Gossip never sleeps.
475
00:33:53,634 --> 00:33:55,625
Not till about 4:00 a. m.
476
00:33:56,136 --> 00:33:57,433
Saturday.
477
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:01,930
I have a date.
478
00:34:03,477 --> 00:34:06,378
Do you know the definition
of "perseverance," Miss Melas?
479
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,573
An excuse to be obnoxious?
480
00:34:08,749 --> 00:34:10,740
Continuing in a course of action...
481
00:34:10,851 --> 00:34:15,117
without regard to discouragement,
opposition or previous failure. Over.
482
00:34:15,489 --> 00:34:17,582
Okay, Webster, how do I get rid of you?
483
00:34:17,691 --> 00:34:20,660
Breakfast, Sunday.
And you can barely even call that a date.
484
00:34:20,794 --> 00:34:24,662
You do that with out-of-town relatives
that you don't even like. Over.
485
00:34:28,669 --> 00:34:29,931
Come on.
486
00:34:32,439 --> 00:34:34,805
Okay, I guess I could do Sunday.
487
00:34:35,375 --> 00:34:37,741
You forgot to say "over. " Over.
488
00:34:38,211 --> 00:34:41,271
This conversation's over
as soon as you tell me when and where.
489
00:34:41,381 --> 00:34:44,350
7:00 a. m., North Cove Marina. Over and out.
490
00:34:44,818 --> 00:34:48,686
7:00 a. M? Are you crazy?
I don't do 7:00 a. m.
491
00:34:50,657 --> 00:34:52,022
- Hello?
- Sign here.
492
00:34:52,459 --> 00:34:54,086
- What?
- You said Sunday, right?
493
00:34:54,194 --> 00:34:55,320
Yeah.
494
00:34:58,298 --> 00:35:00,766
What if I would have said Friday?
495
00:35:00,867 --> 00:35:02,095
Sunday.
496
00:35:06,306 --> 00:35:09,036
So I guess you're not going to church.
497
00:35:21,855 --> 00:35:24,551
Do you really expect me to wear this?
498
00:35:26,093 --> 00:35:28,618
It’ll be awful cold out there without it.
499
00:35:28,729 --> 00:35:31,857
- Good morning.
- "Good" would have been at 10:00.
500
00:35:36,269 --> 00:35:38,567
You're a lot taller than I remember.
501
00:35:38,705 --> 00:35:40,639
You ever ride one of these?
502
00:35:40,741 --> 00:35:42,402
Not on the Hudson.
503
00:35:42,542 --> 00:35:45,534
So, what do you wanna do?
Race me around the Statue of Liberty?
504
00:35:45,679 --> 00:35:47,306
If there's time.
505
00:35:47,748 --> 00:35:50,376
- But you might need these.
- All right.
506
00:35:50,517 --> 00:35:51,882
- Bam.
- Wow.
507
00:35:53,086 --> 00:35:54,576
How do I look?
508
00:35:55,856 --> 00:35:57,153
Fabulous.
509
00:35:58,959 --> 00:36:00,688
All right, I give.
510
00:36:01,528 --> 00:36:03,155
Where do I change?
511
00:36:04,131 --> 00:36:08,727
So we'll go past the wall, then take a left.
It's pretty much a straight shot from there.
512
00:36:08,869 --> 00:36:12,100
- Straight shot to where?
- That's for me to know and you to find out.
513
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:13,900
What you do with these babies is...
514
00:36:14,041 --> 00:36:17,238
Yeah, what I do with this baby
is kick your ass.
515
00:37:28,415 --> 00:37:31,816
- What happened? You change your mind?
- It just died.
516
00:37:32,986 --> 00:37:34,613
Did you put gas in it?
517
00:37:35,188 --> 00:37:39,147
No. You know, I think it must have
sucked up a diaper or something.
518
00:37:39,259 --> 00:37:41,727
Gross. Try it again.
519
00:37:45,532 --> 00:37:47,124
You want me to call AAA?
520
00:37:47,234 --> 00:37:49,725
Come on around
and let me hop on with you.
521
00:37:49,870 --> 00:37:53,567
I don't know. What if you break mine, too?
Then we'll both be sitting ducks.
522
00:37:53,707 --> 00:37:57,370
- I didn't break it. It just died.
- Yeah, yeah.
523
00:37:57,511 --> 00:37:59,502
All right, hop on.
524
00:38:01,114 --> 00:38:03,878
- Scoot back.
- Hitch, I'm already here.
525
00:38:04,451 --> 00:38:06,214
But you don't know where we're going.
526
00:38:06,353 --> 00:38:09,049
Why don't you tell me?
Then we'll both know.
527
00:38:11,858 --> 00:38:13,485
Man, male egos.
528
00:38:13,593 --> 00:38:16,426
I don't know how you guys
make it through the day with them.
529
00:38:16,563 --> 00:38:18,656
What? It is not my ego.
530
00:38:18,765 --> 00:38:21,529
I just don't want to ruin the surprise.
531
00:38:31,611 --> 00:38:34,375
I'm sorry. Are you all right?
532
00:38:36,483 --> 00:38:39,418
There. I always keep a few of those around.
533
00:38:39,553 --> 00:38:40,577
Thank you.
534
00:38:40,720 --> 00:38:44,679
I have lower back trouble.
I just shove the ice packs right down there.
535
00:38:45,225 --> 00:38:47,125
No. That's a fresh one.
536
00:38:48,995 --> 00:38:50,690
So, Ellis Island.
537
00:38:50,964 --> 00:38:55,094
I have to admit, I have lived in New York
my whole life and I've never been here.
538
00:38:55,235 --> 00:38:56,759
I figured that. Most people haven't.
539
00:38:56,903 --> 00:38:59,463
So I got my man Larry here
to set us up a private tour.
540
00:38:59,606 --> 00:39:01,597
- Great!
- Anything for Hitch.
541
00:39:03,243 --> 00:39:06,474
It was originally known as Oyster Island.
542
00:39:06,613 --> 00:39:09,275
The island was expanded
to its present size...
543
00:39:09,416 --> 00:39:13,546
with dirt removed during the construction
of the New York subway system.
544
00:39:14,287 --> 00:39:15,879
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
545
00:39:15,989 --> 00:39:19,220
- Did you know this?
- Yeah. That's why I brought you here.
546
00:39:19,326 --> 00:39:24,127
In fact, over 100 million Americans
can trace their ancestry...
547
00:39:24,264 --> 00:39:28,291
back to a single man, woman, or child
on the ship's manifest...
548
00:39:28,435 --> 00:39:30,460
to an inspector's ledger.
549
00:39:31,037 --> 00:39:35,997
By 1910, 75% of the residents of New York...
550
00:39:36,142 --> 00:39:39,441
Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, and Boston...
551
00:39:39,546 --> 00:39:42,344
were immigrants,
or the children of immigrants.
552
00:39:42,482 --> 00:39:46,009
They generally lived
in the poorest sections of the cities...
553
00:39:46,152 --> 00:39:50,248
in Little Italys, Chinatowns
and other ethnic enclaves.
554
00:39:50,657 --> 00:39:52,852
It's called The Kissing Post.
555
00:39:53,393 --> 00:39:57,762
The plaque explains how different cultures
kiss after long absences.
556
00:39:58,665 --> 00:40:01,964
Now, what exactly would qualify
as a long absence?
557
00:40:02,502 --> 00:40:03,867
I mean...
558
00:40:04,738 --> 00:40:07,172
- That count?
- No.
559
00:40:10,744 --> 00:40:15,010
I actually had a relative come through here.
560
00:40:15,582 --> 00:40:17,106
- Really?
- Yeah.
561
00:40:19,319 --> 00:40:20,445
What?
562
00:40:21,354 --> 00:40:24,517
- What?
- What was that thing?
563
00:40:25,725 --> 00:40:29,161
No. You know, I was just thinking...
564
00:40:29,596 --> 00:40:33,464
you can't really know where you're going
until you know where you've been.
565
00:40:33,566 --> 00:40:36,467
- Ain't that right, Larry?
- Amen, brother.
566
00:40:36,670 --> 00:40:40,197
That's kind of deep for a first date,
don't you think?
567
00:40:43,677 --> 00:40:45,144
What is that?
568
00:41:03,730 --> 00:41:05,493
Oh, my God!
569
00:41:12,038 --> 00:41:16,737
That's my great-great-grandfather.
That's his signature.
570
00:41:16,876 --> 00:41:18,867
Jesus, it's right here!
571
00:41:21,881 --> 00:41:23,940
How did you know?
572
00:41:24,884 --> 00:41:27,910
Hitch did the search. I just found the page.
573
00:41:51,611 --> 00:41:52,942
I'm sorry.
574
00:42:02,255 --> 00:42:05,486
I saw that going differently in my mind.
575
00:42:07,927 --> 00:42:12,387
So my family never saw him again.
Well, except for on the Wanted posters.
576
00:42:12,766 --> 00:42:15,132
Look, I'm really sorry.
577
00:42:15,635 --> 00:42:19,594
When I saw it on the computer,
it said, "the Butcher of Cádiz. "
578
00:42:21,307 --> 00:42:26,074
I thought it was a profession,
not a headline.
579
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:32,144
It's just one of those horrible family legacies
we've all tried to forget.
580
00:42:32,952 --> 00:42:34,317
But thank you.
581
00:42:34,454 --> 00:42:35,785
No, it was...
582
00:42:35,889 --> 00:42:37,982
- A train wreck.
- No.
583
00:42:38,124 --> 00:42:39,591
Let me get you a cab.
584
00:42:44,397 --> 00:42:45,659
Thanks.
585
00:42:47,967 --> 00:42:49,867
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
586
00:42:59,679 --> 00:43:00,805
Taxi!
587
00:43:04,517 --> 00:43:07,077
Poor guy.
Sounds like he went to a lot of trouble.
588
00:43:07,187 --> 00:43:12,022
It was fun. In a disastrous kind of way.
I mean, this isn't exactly a hickey.
589
00:43:13,159 --> 00:43:16,287
At least you got a good story
out of it, right?
590
00:43:18,731 --> 00:43:19,789
Right?
591
00:43:19,899 --> 00:43:23,460
- You should try mine, it's great.
- Wait. You're seeing him again?
592
00:43:25,038 --> 00:43:28,804
Well, look, you said that
I'm always expecting men...
593
00:43:28,908 --> 00:43:31,968
to let me down, right?
Assuming that they're gonna fail?
594
00:43:32,078 --> 00:43:33,545
Which he did.
595
00:43:34,380 --> 00:43:37,372
Yeah, but he did it with flair.
596
00:43:39,619 --> 00:43:42,417
I mean, Case, he really tanked.
597
00:43:42,522 --> 00:43:44,752
And that's a desirable trait?
598
00:43:45,525 --> 00:43:48,323
Yeah. Weird, huh?
599
00:43:50,864 --> 00:43:53,458
Now, just keep it simple.
Just like we practiced.
600
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:55,090
We're just leaving a message.
601
00:43:55,201 --> 00:43:58,432
Women like Allegra Cole
don't pick up numbers they don't recognize.
602
00:44:01,975 --> 00:44:03,135
Hello?
603
00:44:03,776 --> 00:44:05,505
She's on the phone!
604
00:44:08,114 --> 00:44:10,082
- Yes. Hello, Miss Cole?
- Yeah.
605
00:44:10,183 --> 00:44:12,276
Hi, I have Albert Brennaman for you.
606
00:44:12,385 --> 00:44:14,853
- One moment, please.
- No. Tell her I'm at lunch.
607
00:44:14,954 --> 00:44:17,889
We called her to tell her you're at lunch?
608
00:44:22,529 --> 00:44:26,590
Allegra. Hi, it's Albert Brennaman.
609
00:44:27,734 --> 00:44:29,361
Hi, how are you?
610
00:44:29,569 --> 00:44:31,799
Good. I'm doing good.
611
00:44:32,205 --> 00:44:35,265
The reason I'm calling
is about our appointment this Wednesday.
612
00:44:35,942 --> 00:44:37,739
Not gonna be able to make it.
613
00:44:38,845 --> 00:44:40,938
Well, when can you make it?
614
00:44:41,581 --> 00:44:43,014
When can I do it?
615
00:44:46,486 --> 00:44:49,785
I don't even know,
because my whole next week is slammed.
616
00:44:50,523 --> 00:44:53,185
Right. But it's all good.
617
00:44:55,595 --> 00:44:58,223
No, we're gonna make it happen though,
that's for sure.
618
00:44:58,865 --> 00:45:00,730
We're going to make it happen. Yes.
619
00:45:09,509 --> 00:45:10,976
What's going on over there?
620
00:45:11,077 --> 00:45:13,477
Just moving some things around.
621
00:45:15,548 --> 00:45:16,845
Sky Studios.
622
00:45:16,950 --> 00:45:20,351
Tonight I'm actually going
to this fashion thing at Sky Studios.
623
00:45:20,453 --> 00:45:21,715
Designer friend.
624
00:45:21,854 --> 00:45:25,915
I just thought it might be something
your designer friend would be interested in.
625
00:45:26,059 --> 00:45:27,390
Yeah, definitely.
626
00:45:27,527 --> 00:45:31,258
Well, great.
Then I will put you back on with my...
627
00:45:49,882 --> 00:45:52,180
- Allegra, over here, please.
- Miss Cole, this way.
628
00:45:52,285 --> 00:45:53,616
Great. One more.
629
00:45:53,720 --> 00:45:56,848
- Hi, there.
- This was a fantastic idea.
630
00:45:57,156 --> 00:45:59,522
I suppose. Hey, where's Maggie?
631
00:46:00,059 --> 00:46:01,583
Late as usual.
632
00:46:03,763 --> 00:46:07,529
Tonight I want you to meditate
on the image of an iceberg.
633
00:46:07,900 --> 00:46:09,731
Do you know why I want you to do that?
634
00:46:10,003 --> 00:46:11,698
Because I'm cool?
635
00:46:11,804 --> 00:46:13,635
- No.
- I know, I'm not.
636
00:46:14,407 --> 00:46:16,272
I'm saying that you are an iceberg...
637
00:46:16,409 --> 00:46:20,402
in that over 90% of your mass
is below the surface.
638
00:46:21,114 --> 00:46:23,207
I know I'm heavy. I am.
639
00:46:23,316 --> 00:46:26,752
I'm talking about who you are.
It's a metaphor.
640
00:46:26,853 --> 00:46:28,218
Accounting, business...
641
00:46:28,321 --> 00:46:32,917
all of that is just a small part
of a much deeper, richer Albert.
642
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:35,457
One more.
643
00:46:36,829 --> 00:46:38,126
It's gonna be loud in there...
644
00:46:38,264 --> 00:46:40,892
so this is our opportunity
to break the touch barrier...
645
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:42,262
in a non-sleazy way.
646
00:46:42,368 --> 00:46:45,394
So get to where it's loudest.
Ask her if she'd like a drink.
647
00:46:45,505 --> 00:46:47,939
Lean in, place your hand
on the small of her back...
648
00:46:48,041 --> 00:46:49,838
and say it in her ear like a secret.
649
00:46:49,976 --> 00:46:53,377
Watch your hand placement.
Too high says, "I just wanna be friends. "
650
00:46:53,479 --> 00:46:55,845
Too low says, "I just wanna grab some ass. "
651
00:46:56,949 --> 00:46:59,577
Friends. Ass. Me.
652
00:47:04,857 --> 00:47:07,348
Special issues: Allegra Cole is a celebrity...
653
00:47:07,493 --> 00:47:10,951
which means that when people talk to her,
they'll ignore you completely.
654
00:47:11,064 --> 00:47:12,827
She's classy, so she'll introduce you.
655
00:47:12,965 --> 00:47:16,492
When she does, shake hands hard
and speak up. Let them know you're there.
656
00:47:16,602 --> 00:47:18,467
Show her you can handle being her escort.
657
00:47:18,571 --> 00:47:21,768
- Egon, this is Albert.
- How you doing?
658
00:47:21,974 --> 00:47:24,204
- Albert, this is Zak.
- Nice to see you.
659
00:47:24,644 --> 00:47:26,509
These guys are friends with Maggie.
660
00:47:26,746 --> 00:47:29,806
- Been to that new Brazilian restaurant?
- No, but I am...
661
00:47:29,916 --> 00:47:32,510
It's disgusting.
I'm writing an article about it.
662
00:47:33,686 --> 00:47:35,813
Did you see the new installation at MOMA?
663
00:47:36,055 --> 00:47:38,785
- Yes, did you think...
- Disgusting.
664
00:47:40,393 --> 00:47:43,624
Women can always tell
when you're not being real with them.
665
00:47:43,930 --> 00:47:47,422
Worst thing you can do is try to fake it,
because you are a great guy.
666
00:47:47,767 --> 00:47:51,134
And you do have something
to offer Allegra that no other man does.
667
00:47:52,038 --> 00:47:53,505
What was your name? Eggnog?
668
00:47:55,341 --> 00:47:56,467
Egon.
669
00:47:56,976 --> 00:48:00,912
What do you think of the design of the Jets'
new football stadium on the West Side?
670
00:48:01,447 --> 00:48:03,745
Let me guess. Disgusting?
671
00:48:04,650 --> 00:48:06,550
Think it over. We'll be back.
672
00:48:08,955 --> 00:48:12,083
Thank you. I can't stand those guys.
673
00:48:12,225 --> 00:48:14,420
Really? I kind of liked them.
674
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:16,357
But when all is said and done...
675
00:48:16,562 --> 00:48:19,156
tonight is not about Allegra.
676
00:48:19,966 --> 00:48:22,662
- It's not?
- No. Tonight is about Maggie.
677
00:48:23,035 --> 00:48:26,994
A woman's best friend has to sign off
on all big relationship decisions.
678
00:48:27,173 --> 00:48:28,868
So you can't afford to mess this up.
679
00:48:28,975 --> 00:48:31,443
Albert, I want you to meet
my friend, Maggie.
680
00:48:31,978 --> 00:48:34,811
Hi, Maggie.
It's an absolute pleasure to meet you.
681
00:48:34,947 --> 00:48:36,312
I'm Maggie.
682
00:48:37,250 --> 00:48:40,378
- No, you're not.
- Actually, I am.
683
00:48:40,853 --> 00:48:44,289
Magnus Forester.
Thank you so much for inviting us.
684
00:48:46,559 --> 00:48:48,686
- You have very soft hands.
- Thank you.
685
00:48:50,997 --> 00:48:53,397
- Wow. So do you.
- Thank you.
686
00:48:53,499 --> 00:48:57,435
So tonight, you focus on one thing
and one thing only.
687
00:48:57,804 --> 00:48:58,702
Maggie.
688
00:48:58,871 --> 00:49:02,398
- Where does your inspiration come from?
- Oh, my God.
689
00:49:03,276 --> 00:49:04,800
Anything I see.
690
00:49:05,278 --> 00:49:08,975
Something in a magazine,
out on the street...
691
00:49:09,615 --> 00:49:10,673
in an old movie.
692
00:49:11,684 --> 00:49:15,279
The receptive nature of the creative facility
just astounds me.
693
00:49:16,122 --> 00:49:17,680
Anybody want any spring rolls?
694
00:49:17,824 --> 00:49:21,123
That's a beautiful tie, by the way.
This whole thing, it just works.
695
00:49:21,461 --> 00:49:22,826
Thank you.
696
00:49:24,497 --> 00:49:27,261
- Is he gay?
- I don't think so.
697
00:49:28,935 --> 00:49:29,924
I like him.
698
00:49:30,036 --> 00:49:34,769
About the deejay.
Generally, I have a firm no-dancing policy.
699
00:49:34,874 --> 00:49:37,775
But if she asks, you cannot say no.
700
00:49:37,877 --> 00:49:40,744
I'm not worried about dancing.
But if there are people there...
701
00:49:40,847 --> 00:49:45,307
I'm sorry, I hate to be a stickler,
but I need to be thorough.
702
00:49:46,552 --> 00:49:49,077
Show me what you mean
by you're not worried about it.
703
00:49:49,188 --> 00:49:51,418
Trust me. You know what I'm gonna do.
704
00:49:54,527 --> 00:49:56,620
That's what it's all about, right there.
705
00:49:57,363 --> 00:49:58,660
See how it gets bigger?
706
00:50:01,934 --> 00:50:03,458
Now I'm gonna start the fire.
707
00:50:03,803 --> 00:50:07,603
But the feet are going.
I start the fire, I make the pizza.
708
00:50:07,907 --> 00:50:09,169
Hips are always going.
709
00:50:10,877 --> 00:50:12,139
Can't get enough hip.
710
00:50:12,378 --> 00:50:14,846
From there, the Q-Tip.
711
00:50:15,915 --> 00:50:19,248
Q-Tip. Throw it away.
712
00:50:19,986 --> 00:50:22,011
That's not working, hit them with this.
713
00:50:30,763 --> 00:50:33,527
Don't ever...
714
00:50:34,467 --> 00:50:35,559
do that again.
715
00:50:37,270 --> 00:50:38,430
Do you hear me?
716
00:50:39,272 --> 00:50:41,137
- Just expressing myself.
- No.
717
00:50:42,608 --> 00:50:45,805
Not like that, you're not, all right?
718
00:50:48,814 --> 00:50:50,247
This is where you live.
719
00:50:51,150 --> 00:50:52,549
Right here.
720
00:50:52,652 --> 00:50:55,644
You live right here, okay? This is home.
721
00:50:56,289 --> 00:50:57,313
None of this.
722
00:50:57,957 --> 00:50:59,618
I don't wanna see none of that.
723
00:50:59,725 --> 00:51:01,818
Don't need no pizza. They got food there.
724
00:51:10,036 --> 00:51:13,130
Elbows, 6 inches from the waist,
90-degree angles.
725
00:51:13,706 --> 00:51:15,970
Don't you bite your lip. Stop it.
726
00:51:35,661 --> 00:51:38,653
Women relate dancing to sex, all right?
727
00:51:38,764 --> 00:51:41,756
Even a great dancer can lose it
with one of these.
728
00:51:42,868 --> 00:51:45,428
Okay, now that's what I need to be learning.
729
00:51:56,549 --> 00:51:57,846
Can't stop it.
730
00:51:58,517 --> 00:52:00,382
You cannot stop it.
731
00:52:02,822 --> 00:52:03,982
Next subject.
732
00:52:06,092 --> 00:52:07,081
Get out.
733
00:52:12,231 --> 00:52:13,459
Thanks.
734
00:52:13,899 --> 00:52:15,992
So, are you a Knicks fan?
735
00:52:18,037 --> 00:52:19,732
When they're good.
736
00:52:26,278 --> 00:52:28,439
- I'm really sorry.
- Oh, God. Why?
737
00:52:29,749 --> 00:52:32,115
- She was there?
- I left you a bunch of messages.
738
00:52:32,618 --> 00:52:34,245
My phone fell in the Hudson.
739
00:52:34,387 --> 00:52:35,752
Yeah, well, it gets worse.
740
00:52:39,692 --> 00:52:40,750
I don't believe this.
741
00:52:40,860 --> 00:52:44,796
- I thought he was a bodyguard.
- I'm the only one who will need protection.
742
00:52:45,197 --> 00:52:47,597
- Max is gonna...
- Gonna be really irritated.
743
00:52:48,234 --> 00:52:51,726
When I got the train this morning,
I thought it was gonna be a good day.
744
00:52:52,705 --> 00:52:55,173
Who the hell is Albert Brennaman?
745
00:52:55,708 --> 00:52:58,905
- Tell me how this happened.
- What? There were some photographers.
746
00:52:59,045 --> 00:53:01,104
Does this even look like dancing to you?
747
00:53:01,514 --> 00:53:03,414
That's just a little bit of me being me.
748
00:53:03,549 --> 00:53:08,111
No, that's you being a lot of something
you don't need to ever be again.
749
00:53:08,454 --> 00:53:09,978
- It's just one dance.
- No.
750
00:53:10,656 --> 00:53:15,150
One dance, one look, one kiss.
That's all we get, Albert.
751
00:53:15,361 --> 00:53:18,023
Just one shot to make the difference...
752
00:53:18,130 --> 00:53:20,621
between happily ever after and:
753
00:53:20,866 --> 00:53:24,495
"Oh, he's just some guy
I went to some thing with once. "
754
00:53:25,471 --> 00:53:26,460
All right?
755
00:53:32,144 --> 00:53:34,874
- What?
- You said "kiss. "
756
00:53:37,583 --> 00:53:39,073
Is that a problem?
757
00:53:39,985 --> 00:53:42,613
It's not a problem, but this is Allegra Cole.
758
00:53:42,722 --> 00:53:45,054
Eight out of 10 women believe
that the first kiss...
759
00:53:45,157 --> 00:53:48,183
will tell them everything they need to know
about a relationship.
760
00:53:48,294 --> 00:53:51,730
And believe me,
she has definitely thought about it.
761
00:53:52,198 --> 00:53:54,530
- She has?
- Of course.
762
00:53:54,633 --> 00:53:58,262
Not that she's gonna act on it.
So it's no real big deal.
763
00:53:58,504 --> 00:54:01,496
- All right, it's no big deal then.
- It's a very big deal!
764
00:54:01,607 --> 00:54:03,074
- Huge.
- Monumental!
765
00:54:03,175 --> 00:54:05,143
You are not listening...
766
00:54:06,612 --> 00:54:08,739
I need you to wrap your head around this.
767
00:54:08,848 --> 00:54:11,646
Tomorrow night, Allegra Cole...
768
00:54:11,984 --> 00:54:15,647
could have her last first kiss.
769
00:54:26,632 --> 00:54:28,930
All right, come on,
just show me what you got.
770
00:54:29,769 --> 00:54:32,431
- What do you mean?
- Just show me how you would kiss me.
771
00:54:33,205 --> 00:54:34,365
I wouldn't kiss you.
772
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:36,273
I'm not me, I'm Allegra.
773
00:54:39,145 --> 00:54:40,772
But you're really not, so...
774
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:44,748
Okay, Albert, end of the night,
you're dropping me off at home.
775
00:54:44,984 --> 00:54:47,578
- Show me the magic.
- I'm not comfortable with this.
776
00:54:47,686 --> 00:54:51,281
God, Albert,
I had such a wonderful time with you.
777
00:54:51,390 --> 00:54:53,085
Yeah, how about those Knicks?
778
00:54:54,059 --> 00:54:58,621
You see what I'm doing?
This is a signal. I'm fiddling with my keys.
779
00:54:58,731 --> 00:55:00,323
A woman that doesn't want a kiss...
780
00:55:00,466 --> 00:55:03,299
takes her keys out, puts them in the door,
goes in the house.
781
00:55:03,402 --> 00:55:05,495
A woman that wants to kiss, she fiddles.
782
00:55:06,839 --> 00:55:08,204
I'm fiddling.
783
00:55:08,340 --> 00:55:10,171
Okay, you have a good night now...
784
00:55:11,510 --> 00:55:13,740
- You see what I'm doing?
- Robbing me?
785
00:55:13,846 --> 00:55:14,904
No.
786
00:55:15,247 --> 00:55:18,011
This is what most guys do.
They rush in to take the kiss.
787
00:55:18,350 --> 00:55:19,908
But you're not most guys.
788
00:55:20,719 --> 00:55:24,815
See, the secret to a kiss
is to go 90% of the way...
789
00:55:25,958 --> 00:55:27,152
and then hold.
790
00:55:32,164 --> 00:55:34,325
- For how long?
- As long as it takes...
791
00:55:34,900 --> 00:55:36,731
for her to come the other 10%.
792
00:55:36,869 --> 00:55:38,734
Okay, 90%-10%. Got it.
793
00:55:38,871 --> 00:55:42,170
Okay, come on. Shake it off. It's your turn.
794
00:55:45,945 --> 00:55:48,277
I had a really nice time tonight, Albert.
795
00:55:50,883 --> 00:55:54,114
I had a great time tonight, too, Allegra...
796
00:55:56,088 --> 00:55:57,555
with a beard.
797
00:56:31,056 --> 00:56:32,023
What's up?
798
00:56:32,925 --> 00:56:35,758
- I'm not feeling it.
- What do you mean? I came 90%.
799
00:56:35,895 --> 00:56:37,920
I'm not feeling like you want it.
800
00:56:38,030 --> 00:56:42,524
Look, I'm Allegra Cole,
the woman of your dreams.
801
00:56:42,635 --> 00:56:46,401
The woman whose green eyes
are limpid pools of desire.
802
00:56:46,505 --> 00:56:48,803
Now, show me the magic, Albert.
803
00:56:49,275 --> 00:56:51,675
- What the hell was that?
- I'm showing you the magic!
804
00:56:51,810 --> 00:56:53,903
No, I said come 90% and then I come 10%!
805
00:56:54,013 --> 00:56:55,571
You don't go the whole 100%!
806
00:56:55,681 --> 00:56:59,173
My mouth was open, Albert.
You overeager son of a...
807
00:57:02,721 --> 00:57:04,188
Other than that, how was it?
808
00:57:05,224 --> 00:57:08,387
They came together, they danced together,
and they left together.
809
00:57:08,894 --> 00:57:11,362
He's cute, in a sheepdog kind of way.
810
00:57:11,530 --> 00:57:13,521
For all I know, he's adorable.
811
00:57:13,866 --> 00:57:16,096
But him dating her is...
812
00:57:16,268 --> 00:57:17,792
You seem stressed.
813
00:57:17,937 --> 00:57:19,666
You and I had an understanding.
814
00:57:19,772 --> 00:57:22,263
If you invite Allegra,
you're supposed to call me.
815
00:57:22,441 --> 00:57:23,931
I didn't invite her.
816
00:57:24,143 --> 00:57:26,703
Honestly, sweetie,
I thought she was still in Europe.
817
00:57:26,812 --> 00:57:29,110
- So you invited Albert?
- No.
818
00:57:29,748 --> 00:57:33,809
Look, it says here the tickets
went to some guy named Alex Hitchens.
819
00:57:33,919 --> 00:57:34,943
What?
820
00:57:46,432 --> 00:57:47,694
Machine.
821
00:57:51,070 --> 00:57:52,697
Hi, it's Sara.
822
00:57:56,041 --> 00:57:58,908
I just wanted to say thank you...
823
00:57:59,044 --> 00:58:03,743
for an unforgettable experience...
824
00:58:04,083 --> 00:58:05,209
the other day.
825
00:58:06,719 --> 00:58:09,119
And if you ever want to see
your shirt again...
826
00:58:09,221 --> 00:58:13,180
you can come by
the Fulton Fish Market tonight, around 8:00.
827
00:58:13,559 --> 00:58:15,527
Okay, bye.
828
00:58:19,098 --> 00:58:21,430
- Do you think he'll show?
- Yeah.
829
00:58:21,767 --> 00:58:24,600
He's too much of a player
to have a bad date on his record.
830
00:58:24,903 --> 00:58:27,770
Is this a source or a date?
831
00:58:28,974 --> 00:58:30,271
A source.
832
00:58:31,276 --> 00:58:32,937
Well, it sounded like a date.
833
00:58:33,979 --> 00:58:35,446
Well, it was supposed to.
834
00:58:38,617 --> 00:58:41,814
So it looks like a date
and it sounds like a date...
835
00:58:42,221 --> 00:58:45,315
- but it's not a date.
- Yeah. Right.
836
00:58:46,525 --> 00:58:47,685
Just checking.
837
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:10,542
Hi. I wasn't sure you got my message.
838
00:59:10,749 --> 00:59:15,311
I wasn't sure you called the right guy.
You must be a glutton for punishment.
839
00:59:15,788 --> 00:59:18,416
Either that or I really wanna pay you back.
840
00:59:18,824 --> 00:59:20,689
I think this is yours.
841
00:59:21,627 --> 00:59:24,994
Thank you.
I'm gonna frame this for my wall of shame.
842
00:59:25,464 --> 00:59:27,523
Really? There's a whole wall?
843
00:59:27,921 --> 00:59:29,548
So what are we getting into?
844
00:59:32,058 --> 00:59:33,958
Ever been to a food rave before?
845
00:59:34,060 --> 00:59:37,996
Happens once a month, all around the city.
Different chefs, different venues.
846
00:59:38,198 --> 00:59:39,426
You any good in the kitchen?
847
00:59:39,566 --> 00:59:41,796
I can stand the heat,
if that's what you mean.
848
00:59:41,901 --> 00:59:45,701
Good. Because that's my boss
and his wife right over there.
849
00:59:45,972 --> 00:59:47,405
Interesting.
850
00:59:47,707 --> 00:59:51,575
Well, here's a concept:
We're paying to cook our own food.
851
00:59:51,711 --> 00:59:54,839
Here's another concept:
Shut up. It's an evening out.
852
00:59:54,948 --> 00:59:57,178
The longer you're married,
the less you go out.
853
00:59:57,283 --> 01:00:01,549
In a couple of years, we're gonna end up
bricked into our apartment like a Poe story.
854
01:00:02,555 --> 01:00:05,285
So, Louise, are you
in the newspaper business, also?
855
01:00:05,425 --> 01:00:06,756
No, I'm a psychiatrist.
856
01:00:08,228 --> 01:00:11,527
Well, that's the last thing
I'm gonna say tonight.
857
01:00:12,332 --> 01:00:15,859
So, Sara, you never told me.
858
01:00:16,135 --> 01:00:19,969
How was the Sky Studio fashion thing
you went to the other night?
859
01:00:20,106 --> 01:00:23,405
Did you meet anyone worth mentioning?
860
01:00:23,810 --> 01:00:24,868
No.
861
01:00:26,579 --> 01:00:30,276
Really? I find that very odd.
862
01:00:30,817 --> 01:00:33,115
- Max.
- I think you're being odd.
863
01:00:33,253 --> 01:00:36,711
Well, I'm always odd.
It's why you married me.
864
01:00:36,856 --> 01:00:38,983
And it's why I married you.
865
01:00:40,193 --> 01:00:41,717
Speaking of which, Hitch...
866
01:00:41,828 --> 01:00:45,662
what exactly are your intentions
for the lovely Sara?
867
01:00:45,798 --> 01:00:49,063
Wait, you know what?
Actually, there was someone.
868
01:00:51,537 --> 01:00:54,267
I think I met your friends Albert and Allegra.
869
01:00:55,108 --> 01:00:57,804
- My friends who and who?
- Allegra Cole?
870
01:00:57,944 --> 01:01:00,139
Really? How do you know her?
871
01:01:01,547 --> 01:01:03,811
- I don't.
- So you know Albert?
872
01:01:05,351 --> 01:01:07,410
- Knew.
- He had your tickets.
873
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:10,956
I mean, how well do you really
know your accountant?
874
01:01:12,158 --> 01:01:16,026
April 15, and then you don't see him again
till April 15.
875
01:01:17,530 --> 01:01:18,827
Ladies and gentlemen...
876
01:01:18,931 --> 01:01:22,128
a coquille St. Jacques
with a lemon butter reduction.
877
01:01:22,335 --> 01:01:24,462
- Compliments of our chef.
- Thank you.
878
01:01:24,570 --> 01:01:26,629
I'm sure you're really gonna enjoy this.
879
01:01:34,580 --> 01:01:35,911
That's really good.
880
01:01:36,949 --> 01:01:39,076
I'm very impressed.
881
01:01:40,286 --> 01:01:41,310
Why is that?
882
01:01:42,355 --> 01:01:47,054
Around these two, people usually can't wait
to name-drop and dish their friends...
883
01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:48,684
and you're being all discreet.
884
01:01:48,795 --> 01:01:50,922
Yeah, it's quite endearing.
885
01:01:51,064 --> 01:01:53,862
Actually, it is.
So why don't we change the subject?
886
01:01:56,302 --> 01:01:59,328
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. No, I'm fine.
887
01:02:00,139 --> 01:02:04,075
So Sara tells me
that you're a consultant, Hitch.
888
01:02:04,644 --> 01:02:09,411
Yeah, mostly marketing, little advertising,
brand management.
889
01:02:10,450 --> 01:02:12,748
I have no idea what that means.
890
01:02:12,919 --> 01:02:15,717
No one does.
That's why I get to charge so much.
891
01:02:19,892 --> 01:02:21,723
Are you sure you're all right?
892
01:02:22,428 --> 01:02:26,558
Yeah, I'm fine.
Is it itchy in here or is it just me?
893
01:02:27,266 --> 01:02:30,292
- I know what's happening.
- No.
894
01:02:30,737 --> 01:02:32,637
You think that I'm in a stressful state...
895
01:02:32,772 --> 01:02:34,933
because I'm trying to make
a good impression...
896
01:02:35,074 --> 01:02:38,237
while also dealing
with my commitment issues...
897
01:02:39,579 --> 01:02:42,514
trying to avoid
all these awkward conversations.
898
01:02:43,116 --> 01:02:45,744
No, I think you have food allergies.
899
01:02:49,122 --> 01:02:50,589
- Wow.
- What?
900
01:02:53,159 --> 01:02:55,286
- Benadryl. Where's the Benadryl?
- Aisle 2.
901
01:02:55,428 --> 01:02:58,090
- Which one's Aisle 2?
- The one with the big 2 over it.
902
01:02:58,197 --> 01:02:59,755
Sara, I'm fine.
903
01:02:59,899 --> 01:03:02,026
- You sure it's in Aisle 2?
- No.
904
01:03:02,201 --> 01:03:04,226
Really, it is not that serious.
905
01:03:08,307 --> 01:03:09,604
Benadryl.
906
01:03:10,643 --> 01:03:13,874
- A lot of Benadryl. A lot.
- What? Are you...
907
01:03:28,394 --> 01:03:31,124
Coquille St. Jacques. Death on a leaf!
908
01:03:35,568 --> 01:03:36,660
Come on!
909
01:03:47,914 --> 01:03:49,711
Okay, we're doing fine.
910
01:03:49,816 --> 01:03:52,284
Just a couple more blocks
and you get to lie down.
911
01:04:01,227 --> 01:04:03,092
Wait, who sings that song again?
912
01:04:03,229 --> 01:04:05,060
Oh, girl. Earth, Wind & Fire.
913
01:04:05,198 --> 01:04:07,029
You should let them sing it.
914
01:04:10,736 --> 01:04:14,467
I bet this would be great on the rocks.
It's good, right?
915
01:04:16,909 --> 01:04:19,878
I bet I can ask you
just about anything right now.
916
01:04:20,146 --> 01:04:21,170
No.
917
01:04:21,747 --> 01:04:23,806
I'm a vault, baby. Locked down.
918
01:04:25,685 --> 01:04:29,086
What is an heiress doing with a CPA?
919
01:04:29,589 --> 01:04:31,318
They're going to the Knicks game.
920
01:04:31,991 --> 01:04:33,959
Yep, Fort Knox.
921
01:04:35,795 --> 01:04:38,389
He loves her so much!
922
01:04:38,965 --> 01:04:40,489
I'm sure he does.
923
01:04:41,100 --> 01:04:45,434
I'm telling you, people search
their whole lives trying to find the...
924
01:04:45,571 --> 01:04:48,472
Reasons that we're here
925
01:04:49,642 --> 01:04:50,904
I wouldn't know.
926
01:04:51,911 --> 01:04:53,344
You would if you saw it.
927
01:04:53,746 --> 01:04:57,307
Sometimes it's really hard
to see the forest through the sleaze.
928
01:04:58,584 --> 01:05:00,882
What about you? You ever been in love?
929
01:05:06,158 --> 01:05:07,284
Yep.
930
01:05:11,564 --> 01:05:13,327
But you're never gonna know that.
931
01:05:17,103 --> 01:05:20,095
Okay, I think you've had enough
of the juice box.
932
01:05:22,808 --> 01:05:24,139
Let's go.
933
01:05:31,117 --> 01:05:32,846
This is some place.
934
01:05:34,186 --> 01:05:35,483
You live here alone?
935
01:05:37,323 --> 01:05:41,919
Yeah. I actually prefer it that way.
What about you?
936
01:05:42,562 --> 01:05:46,862
I haven't had a roommate since college,
and he upped and married my sister.
937
01:05:46,999 --> 01:05:49,661
- Really?
- Yeah, they're gonna have a baby soon.
938
01:05:50,202 --> 01:05:51,669
Uncle Hitch.
939
01:05:53,339 --> 01:05:54,670
Thank you.
940
01:06:00,713 --> 01:06:03,648
- So, how do you feel?
- Good.
941
01:06:05,017 --> 01:06:06,279
Relaxed.
942
01:06:07,820 --> 01:06:09,481
So what about you? Any siblings?
943
01:06:11,824 --> 01:06:15,692
Sister. Maria. Lives in D.C.
944
01:06:17,997 --> 01:06:19,521
Younger, right?
945
01:06:22,268 --> 01:06:23,860
I could hear it in your voice.
946
01:06:25,438 --> 01:06:28,896
Sort of an innate protective thing.
947
01:06:31,344 --> 01:06:32,834
Yeah, I guess.
948
01:06:38,718 --> 01:06:39,707
What?
949
01:06:43,055 --> 01:06:44,386
She almost died once.
950
01:06:49,528 --> 01:06:50,688
I was 10.
951
01:06:59,605 --> 01:07:02,369
We were skating on the pond
behind our house...
952
01:07:02,808 --> 01:07:04,400
and she fell through the ice.
953
01:07:06,946 --> 01:07:08,345
My dad pulled her out.
954
01:07:12,618 --> 01:07:14,142
Gave her mouth-to-mouth.
955
01:07:17,890 --> 01:07:20,358
Longest three minutes of my life.
956
01:07:22,228 --> 01:07:23,752
Yeah, I'm sure.
957
01:07:30,002 --> 01:07:32,527
I don't think I've ever really gotten over it.
958
01:07:36,308 --> 01:07:39,539
Kind of defines you, doesn't it?
959
01:07:44,583 --> 01:07:49,145
You know like,
one moment you're gliding along...
960
01:07:50,523 --> 01:07:54,459
the next moment you're standing in the rain
watching your life fall apart.
961
01:07:56,529 --> 01:07:57,860
Except it was snow.
962
01:08:00,032 --> 01:08:02,592
Yeah. That's what I said, "snow. "
963
01:08:04,937 --> 01:08:06,029
You said "rain. "
964
01:08:08,207 --> 01:08:10,573
Some kind of precipitation.
965
01:08:15,381 --> 01:08:16,939
Is that what happened to you?
966
01:08:21,454 --> 01:08:24,787
Nothing as dramatic
as falling through the ice.
967
01:08:28,828 --> 01:08:30,523
You know...
968
01:08:31,897 --> 01:08:33,421
it definitely...
969
01:08:37,203 --> 01:08:38,636
Left a scar?
970
01:08:40,906 --> 01:08:42,032
Yeah.
971
01:08:54,720 --> 01:08:58,212
I guess it's best just not to love at all, right?
972
01:09:02,561 --> 01:09:03,858
Or skate.
973
01:09:31,957 --> 01:09:33,424
Are you here?
974
01:09:42,468 --> 01:09:47,565
Sara, you're such an idiot! You moron!
What the hell did you think?
975
01:09:47,673 --> 01:09:50,767
You're so stupid! You gotta learn, Sara.
976
01:09:50,910 --> 01:09:53,538
- When are you gonna learn...
- Should I come back later?
977
01:09:55,748 --> 01:09:59,206
Hi. I thought you left.
978
01:09:59,451 --> 01:10:04,047
Well, I did,
but then I came back with breakfast.
979
01:10:04,990 --> 01:10:08,153
I figured it was the least that I could do.
980
01:10:09,829 --> 01:10:12,320
I didn't know what you were drinking...
981
01:10:12,698 --> 01:10:17,431
so I got a grande cap, a latte,
an Earl Grey tea...
982
01:10:17,703 --> 01:10:19,864
and something with "chai" in the title.
983
01:10:21,874 --> 01:10:23,068
Tea for me.
984
01:10:23,175 --> 01:10:25,905
Tea. Yes! I was hoping you'd say that.
985
01:10:28,881 --> 01:10:32,146
Oh, God.
You're a morning person, aren't you?
986
01:10:33,352 --> 01:10:36,583
Well, like I always tell my clients:
987
01:10:36,689 --> 01:10:39,681
Begin each day as if it were on purpose.
988
01:10:47,399 --> 01:10:49,492
- Wow. Beautiful day.
- Yeah.
989
01:10:51,203 --> 01:10:53,637
- Beautiful girl.
- Thank you.
990
01:10:55,541 --> 01:10:57,441
Well, I'm this way.
991
01:10:57,910 --> 01:11:00,276
I'm that way.
992
01:11:01,580 --> 01:11:03,775
Give me a ring sometime.
993
01:11:05,684 --> 01:11:07,481
I mean, on the phone.
994
01:11:10,089 --> 01:11:12,717
No, I definitely will.
995
01:11:15,361 --> 01:11:16,487
Good.
996
01:11:45,791 --> 01:11:47,588
I gotta go to work.
997
01:11:57,369 --> 01:11:58,495
Bye.
998
01:12:01,073 --> 01:12:02,335
Goodbye.
999
01:12:27,132 --> 01:12:30,295
Can you believe what a beautiful day it is...
1000
01:12:30,936 --> 01:12:32,198
not?
1001
01:12:32,304 --> 01:12:35,432
- What's wrong, pumpkin?
- I'm so stupid.
1002
01:12:36,108 --> 01:12:38,372
I ignored your advice. I went on that date.
1003
01:12:38,477 --> 01:12:39,501
With who?
1004
01:12:40,479 --> 01:12:42,071
Not the lingerie guy.
1005
01:12:42,181 --> 01:12:45,548
Vance Munson. And you're right,
there's no way he ever had a mother.
1006
01:12:45,684 --> 01:12:46,981
That bad?
1007
01:12:47,319 --> 01:12:51,483
He took me to Scalinatella,
and he was affectionate and sweet.
1008
01:12:51,991 --> 01:12:55,392
He told me all these intimate things,
like how he can't taste food...
1009
01:12:55,494 --> 01:12:56,984
and he wants three kids.
1010
01:12:57,129 --> 01:12:58,391
So you slept with him.
1011
01:12:59,698 --> 01:13:01,689
I never seen anybody get dressed that fast.
1012
01:13:01,800 --> 01:13:03,563
Case, I'm so sorry.
1013
01:13:05,437 --> 01:13:08,804
- Maybe I'll just die alone after all.
- No, you won't.
1014
01:13:08,941 --> 01:13:13,310
You'll meet a great guy with a great smile
and you'll travel the world together.
1015
01:13:13,445 --> 01:13:15,572
Who are you? Where's my best friend?
1016
01:13:15,681 --> 01:13:18,912
It's true. He just hasn't found you yet.
But he will.
1017
01:13:19,018 --> 01:13:22,749
Just as he's leaving, guess what he says:
"Date Doctor, my ass. "
1018
01:13:22,855 --> 01:13:25,756
- What does that mean?
- It means he's really out there.
1019
01:13:25,858 --> 01:13:29,726
And if I ever meet him, the only date
he's gonna need is with a real doctor.
1020
01:13:42,374 --> 01:13:43,466
That's him.
1021
01:13:43,909 --> 01:13:46,002
Vance, is that you?
1022
01:13:46,712 --> 01:13:49,647
Yeah, hey there, beautiful.
1023
01:13:49,748 --> 01:13:51,215
Sara Melas, from the Standard.
1024
01:13:51,350 --> 01:13:53,818
I'd like to discuss
the dating consultant you hired...
1025
01:13:53,919 --> 01:13:56,080
before you went out with Casey Sedgewick.
1026
01:13:59,625 --> 01:14:03,026
You don't wanna talk, that's fine.
I'm going to write this anyway.
1027
01:14:03,128 --> 01:14:05,926
You just earned yourself a photo
with a boldface caption.
1028
01:14:06,065 --> 01:14:07,498
What? Nice.
1029
01:14:07,599 --> 01:14:11,365
I can only imagine how the trading
floor guys will react when they see this.
1030
01:14:11,470 --> 01:14:13,199
You have no proof, no facts.
1031
01:14:13,305 --> 01:14:16,035
Vance, I'm a gossip columnist, not the DA.
1032
01:14:16,141 --> 01:14:18,905
Okay, how much will it cost me
to stay out of this?
1033
01:14:19,044 --> 01:14:20,841
I don't want money. I want a name.
1034
01:14:20,946 --> 01:14:23,278
- I don't know his name.
- Well, what do you know?
1035
01:14:26,218 --> 01:14:27,617
I know this.
1036
01:14:33,992 --> 01:14:36,051
All this for a lousy lay.
1037
01:14:36,562 --> 01:14:37,859
Are we satisfied?
1038
01:14:39,598 --> 01:14:40,792
Almost.
1039
01:14:44,636 --> 01:14:47,537
No, you... You got to be...
1040
01:14:53,412 --> 01:14:54,811
Is this really necessary?
1041
01:14:55,447 --> 01:14:56,914
Have you seen your back?
1042
01:14:57,015 --> 01:15:00,815
No, but I see my front and maybe
we should be starting with some sit-ups.
1043
01:15:01,620 --> 01:15:03,247
God! Mother of Troy!
1044
01:15:06,792 --> 01:15:07,986
Hello?
1045
01:15:09,461 --> 01:15:13,261
That's crazy.
Just hearing your voice makes me smile.
1046
01:15:13,365 --> 01:15:14,662
How are you?
1047
01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:16,961
I'm good, I think.
1048
01:15:17,202 --> 01:15:20,729
No, actually, you know what?
I feel a little strange.
1049
01:15:22,941 --> 01:15:24,238
I'm good.
1050
01:15:25,644 --> 01:15:27,009
Sweet Georgia Brown!
1051
01:15:27,146 --> 01:15:28,272
What was that?
1052
01:15:28,380 --> 01:15:31,440
No, that's just some guy screaming.
1053
01:15:32,618 --> 01:15:34,449
Listen, is there any context...
1054
01:15:34,553 --> 01:15:39,650
under which you'd consider facial edema
and pharmaceutical intervention a date?
1055
01:15:40,993 --> 01:15:42,426
Probably not.
1056
01:15:42,528 --> 01:15:43,790
How about a do-over?
1057
01:15:43,896 --> 01:15:46,831
- What do you have in mind?
- Dinner, my place.
1058
01:15:47,065 --> 01:15:50,660
Because obviously going anywhere public
with you is out of the question.
1059
01:15:51,603 --> 01:15:54,367
God! That's it. I don't like you very much.
1060
01:15:54,473 --> 01:15:55,838
What is that?
1061
01:15:55,974 --> 01:15:57,168
Wait, I'm getting up.
1062
01:15:57,543 --> 01:15:59,943
It's like one of those makeover shows.
1063
01:16:00,045 --> 01:16:02,138
- That's a makeover show?
- It's Danish.
1064
01:16:02,247 --> 01:16:03,942
Almost done!
1065
01:16:04,983 --> 01:16:06,177
Friday?
1066
01:16:06,418 --> 01:16:11,151
Can't. I told a friend I'd go speed dating.
You know, for moral support.
1067
01:16:11,423 --> 01:16:12,981
But tomorrow I'm free.
1068
01:16:14,359 --> 01:16:16,293
Great. All right, 8:00?
1069
01:16:16,562 --> 01:16:17,551
Great.
1070
01:16:17,696 --> 01:16:20,494
- All right. Bye-bye.
- Bye.
1071
01:16:25,837 --> 01:16:29,034
- See, it wasn't so bad, was it?
- God!
1072
01:16:33,445 --> 01:16:36,005
Ball is back in play
after a 20-second timeout.
1073
01:16:36,114 --> 01:16:40,244
Knicks lead the Grizzlies, 12-6,
here early in the first quarter.
1074
01:16:50,062 --> 01:16:52,622
- So this is what this feels like?
- "This" being?
1075
01:16:53,265 --> 01:16:55,392
Great seats, great game.
1076
01:16:56,969 --> 01:16:58,834
Great date.
1077
01:17:01,039 --> 01:17:02,666
I mean, sort of.
1078
01:17:03,308 --> 01:17:05,640
To me, it feels like a...
1079
01:17:06,311 --> 01:17:08,336
- Date?
- Yeah.
1080
01:17:14,219 --> 01:17:15,948
Look at her. She looks so happy.
1081
01:17:16,822 --> 01:17:19,382
How does a guy like that end up
with a girl like her?
1082
01:17:25,497 --> 01:17:28,694
I am so jealous.
I've always wanted to be able to do that.
1083
01:17:29,034 --> 01:17:32,128
Really? Tonight is your lucky night.
Let's see what you got.
1084
01:17:32,237 --> 01:17:33,898
Okay. You ready?
1085
01:17:36,775 --> 01:17:40,040
- Oh, God. I'm sorry.
- It's fine.
1086
01:17:40,145 --> 01:17:42,306
Knicks off to a great start...
1087
01:17:42,447 --> 01:17:43,937
All right, here's how it works.
1088
01:17:44,049 --> 01:17:48,281
Central Park Zoo, tomorrow, noon,
by the sea lions.
1089
01:17:49,488 --> 01:17:51,115
No, don't worry. I'll find you.
1090
01:17:51,657 --> 01:17:53,454
All right. Thank you.
1091
01:18:12,044 --> 01:18:14,376
It's all right. I'm sorry.
1092
01:18:14,746 --> 01:18:16,111
Damn me.
1093
01:18:20,552 --> 01:18:22,952
That was it! You got it. Do it again.
1094
01:18:24,656 --> 01:18:26,021
Look how cute they are.
1095
01:18:57,356 --> 01:18:58,550
Thanks.
1096
01:19:14,940 --> 01:19:17,067
I had a great time tonight, Albert.
1097
01:19:18,243 --> 01:19:20,939
I had a great time, too, Allegra.
1098
01:19:41,666 --> 01:19:43,099
Good night.
1099
01:19:43,602 --> 01:19:44,933
Good night, Albert.
1100
01:19:58,617 --> 01:20:00,778
- Allegra.
- Yes?
1101
01:20:04,990 --> 01:20:06,252
Hold on.
1102
01:20:28,447 --> 01:20:30,108
I like your lips.
1103
01:20:34,219 --> 01:20:35,914
They seem to like you, too.
1104
01:20:44,396 --> 01:20:45,795
Good night.
1105
01:20:46,465 --> 01:20:47,830
Good night.
1106
01:21:24,035 --> 01:21:26,230
- Anything?
- Not yet.
1107
01:21:27,038 --> 01:21:29,529
But I got some great shots
of you biting your nails.
1108
01:21:29,941 --> 01:21:31,306
Well, it's a big story.
1109
01:21:33,278 --> 01:21:34,836
- Incoming.
- Really?
1110
01:21:34,946 --> 01:21:36,243
Yep. They're shaking hands.
1111
01:21:36,381 --> 01:21:38,713
This is so great. I can't wait to nail this guy.
1112
01:21:38,850 --> 01:21:40,841
Make sure you get a good shot of his face.
1113
01:21:40,952 --> 01:21:43,352
- What's he look like?
- Tall, dark, and handsome.
1114
01:21:43,522 --> 01:21:45,114
Basic principles:
1115
01:21:45,257 --> 01:21:47,623
No matter what, no matter who,
no matter when.
1116
01:21:47,759 --> 01:21:49,454
This is killing me.
1117
01:21:49,594 --> 01:21:51,255
Geoff is managing to play it straight.
1118
01:21:51,396 --> 01:21:53,193
How long have you been in love with her?
1119
01:21:53,298 --> 01:21:56,961
Her? About two-and-a-half years.
1120
01:21:59,638 --> 01:22:00,798
Take a look.
1121
01:22:08,914 --> 01:22:12,077
- How'd you get my card?
- Albert Brennaman.
1122
01:22:12,183 --> 01:22:14,208
- Great guy, isn't he?
- Excellent guy.
1123
01:22:16,621 --> 01:22:18,054
What? Sara.
1124
01:22:24,329 --> 01:22:27,560
- Pleasure to meet you, Geoff.
- Hey, what...
1125
01:22:32,170 --> 01:22:35,765
- How'd you get my card?
- Albert Brennaman.
1126
01:22:36,007 --> 01:22:38,168
- Great guy, isn't he?
- Excellent guy.
1127
01:22:40,512 --> 01:22:42,070
You sure you want to do this?
1128
01:22:42,814 --> 01:22:43,838
Why wouldn't I?
1129
01:22:47,352 --> 01:22:51,812
Louise made an interesting observation
on the way home the other night.
1130
01:22:52,958 --> 01:22:56,416
She said people who are guarded
are afraid...
1131
01:22:57,462 --> 01:22:59,396
that you can see right through them.
1132
01:22:59,531 --> 01:23:03,797
That's why they hide behind
layers of secrecy or humor.
1133
01:23:04,002 --> 01:23:07,369
He'll have to hide behind a lot more
than that once this hits the fan.
1134
01:23:08,139 --> 01:23:09,333
She meant you.
1135
01:23:14,679 --> 01:23:16,112
What do you want me to say?
1136
01:23:17,649 --> 01:23:21,813
That I like the guy?
Yeah, sure, I liked the guy.
1137
01:23:23,555 --> 01:23:25,989
Well, here's his shirt.
1138
01:23:27,559 --> 01:23:31,518
- Why don't you think about it? Call me.
- Thanks.
1139
01:23:43,842 --> 01:23:46,072
Papi, Sara Melas is here to see you.
1140
01:23:47,579 --> 01:23:50,639
Thanks a lot, Raoul. Send her up.
And stop calling me papi.
1141
01:24:02,427 --> 01:24:05,726
Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes.
1142
01:24:07,032 --> 01:24:09,193
I believe this belongs to you.
1143
01:24:13,405 --> 01:24:16,033
Yeah, this thing is like a bad penny.
1144
01:24:16,141 --> 01:24:17,267
Wow!
1145
01:24:18,410 --> 01:24:19,900
So this is it.
1146
01:24:20,612 --> 01:24:22,273
Yeah, this is it.
1147
01:24:24,115 --> 01:24:26,015
Business must be good.
1148
01:24:26,651 --> 01:24:29,245
Well, it has its rewards.
1149
01:24:31,089 --> 01:24:32,420
I'll bet.
1150
01:24:33,892 --> 01:24:35,223
Tough day?
1151
01:24:36,294 --> 01:24:37,591
You could say that.
1152
01:24:39,064 --> 01:24:42,192
Well, you know what?
You can just sit back and relax.
1153
01:24:42,300 --> 01:24:44,131
I got this all covered.
1154
01:24:47,305 --> 01:24:49,796
Spanish wine!
1155
01:24:51,609 --> 01:24:54,237
How thoughtful are we?
1156
01:24:54,345 --> 01:24:57,246
- Here, let me pour that for you.
- No, that's okay.
1157
01:24:57,849 --> 01:25:00,579
- You want some?
- Sure.
1158
01:25:02,353 --> 01:25:04,480
So, Hitch.
1159
01:25:05,156 --> 01:25:08,557
Is that a noun or a verb?
1160
01:25:11,262 --> 01:25:12,524
I guess it depends.
1161
01:25:15,133 --> 01:25:18,933
Let's see, what should we toast to?
1162
01:25:22,107 --> 01:25:25,008
Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink.
1163
01:25:26,010 --> 01:25:29,207
But if you must lie,
lie in the arms of the one you love.
1164
01:25:30,148 --> 01:25:33,083
If you must steal,
steal away from bad company.
1165
01:25:33,184 --> 01:25:35,948
If you must cheat, cheat death.
1166
01:25:36,855 --> 01:25:38,220
And if you must drink...
1167
01:25:38,790 --> 01:25:42,021
drink in the moments
that take your breath away.
1168
01:25:44,295 --> 01:25:45,853
Did you just make that up?
1169
01:25:58,276 --> 01:25:59,675
Make yourself at home.
1170
01:26:00,345 --> 01:26:02,677
I'm gonna check on the risotto.
1171
01:26:04,415 --> 01:26:07,646
Look at this! Which one's the music?
1172
01:26:14,959 --> 01:26:16,756
It does lights, too?
1173
01:26:18,930 --> 01:26:21,421
Let me help you out with that.
1174
01:26:21,566 --> 01:26:24,228
Now, this is nifty.
1175
01:26:25,870 --> 01:26:27,167
What are you doing?
1176
01:26:27,639 --> 01:26:29,732
How does it work, exactly?
1177
01:26:31,376 --> 01:26:36,279
Well, usually you have dinner,
then you have dessert.
1178
01:26:37,148 --> 01:26:40,515
No, I mean your thriving business.
1179
01:26:44,956 --> 01:26:46,355
I don't do interviews.
1180
01:26:48,293 --> 01:26:52,024
But if you'd like to get back to the evening,
I'd be happy to sit and talk.
1181
01:26:52,130 --> 01:26:54,064
Great idea. You start.
1182
01:26:55,366 --> 01:26:59,894
Well, maybe I would if you weren't snarling.
1183
01:27:06,477 --> 01:27:08,445
What if I told you...
1184
01:27:08,546 --> 01:27:13,483
that I know exactly what you do
and how you do it?
1185
01:27:13,618 --> 01:27:15,518
And I think it's despicable!
1186
01:27:15,620 --> 01:27:18,453
You know what?
We might need to go out to dinner.
1187
01:27:18,590 --> 01:27:22,151
There's a great seafood restaurant
I'd love to take you to.
1188
01:27:24,195 --> 01:27:26,322
How about you just get a cleaver, butcher?
1189
01:27:26,865 --> 01:27:29,834
- Maybe I will!
- What the hell is wrong with you?
1190
01:27:29,968 --> 01:27:31,799
Nothing a front-page story can't cure.
1191
01:27:31,936 --> 01:27:33,335
So that's what this is all about?
1192
01:27:33,471 --> 01:27:36,269
Albert and Allegra
on the front of your crap-ass newspaper?
1193
01:27:36,374 --> 01:27:38,171
- You put them there!
- No, you did!
1194
01:27:38,309 --> 01:27:40,971
No, he did! The minute he called you!
1195
01:28:08,539 --> 01:28:10,598
Dr. Hitch. Listen to me, papi.
1196
01:28:10,708 --> 01:28:14,701
I need to bring my partner, Amir,
somewhere amazing for our anniversary.
1197
01:28:15,380 --> 01:28:18,281
Maybe it's not your thing, but maybe it is.
1198
01:28:18,383 --> 01:28:20,351
What the hell are you talking about, Raoul?
1199
01:28:20,485 --> 01:28:21,975
It's you, no?
1200
01:28:42,507 --> 01:28:46,466
So, my friend, how was she? Pretty good?
1201
01:28:50,581 --> 01:28:53,072
How was she? I'll tell you! She was great!
1202
01:29:07,565 --> 01:29:08,827
Isn't that the Date Doctor?
1203
01:29:08,933 --> 01:29:12,061
- I'm telling you, that's him.
- He doesn't look anything like him.
1204
01:29:12,203 --> 01:29:14,831
- Excuse me. Do you know him?
- No.
1205
01:29:15,306 --> 01:29:18,901
I want you to look me in the eye
and tell me that he did not hire you.
1206
01:29:19,043 --> 01:29:22,843
Ma'am, I have never seen this man
before in my life.
1207
01:29:22,947 --> 01:29:24,005
See you later, Tony.
1208
01:29:24,115 --> 01:29:26,709
Tony? You have got
some serious explaining to do.
1209
01:29:26,818 --> 01:29:28,786
Albert. Hitch. You all right?
1210
01:29:28,920 --> 01:29:31,718
I can't really talk right now.
I'm kind of tied up.
1211
01:29:31,823 --> 01:29:33,791
One, two. On three.
1212
01:29:41,833 --> 01:29:43,698
Women will remain seated.
1213
01:29:43,801 --> 01:29:46,964
Men will rotate to the left at the buzzer.
1214
01:29:47,271 --> 01:29:49,296
You get two minutes each,
four minutes total.
1215
01:29:49,440 --> 01:29:53,001
So trade your talk time when you hear...
1216
01:29:55,279 --> 01:29:56,473
the gong.
1217
01:29:56,614 --> 01:29:58,514
If it's mutual, you get numbers.
1218
01:29:58,649 --> 01:30:02,141
If not, better luck next time, okay?
1219
01:30:03,021 --> 01:30:05,489
Ladies, take your seats.
1220
01:30:06,858 --> 01:30:11,522
Case, you are a living testimonial
to the triumph of hope over experience.
1221
01:30:11,662 --> 01:30:12,822
Thanks for coming.
1222
01:30:12,964 --> 01:30:16,161
I know it's lame. I'm sure it's the last thing
you feel like doing.
1223
01:30:16,434 --> 01:30:20,393
I really prefer Rachmaninoff
to the heavier romantic composers.
1224
01:30:20,571 --> 01:30:23,631
But despite the pan-Germanic
anti-Semitism...
1225
01:30:23,741 --> 01:30:26,835
I'd still have to say my favorite is Wagner.
1226
01:30:29,180 --> 01:30:31,671
- Nice talking to you.
- Thank you. Bye.
1227
01:30:31,816 --> 01:30:32,874
Bye.
1228
01:30:34,752 --> 01:30:36,014
Excuse me.
1229
01:30:36,587 --> 01:30:38,179
That's my seat, man.
1230
01:30:40,324 --> 01:30:42,315
My name is Ron. I'm 28.
1231
01:30:42,427 --> 01:30:44,952
Albert Brennaman is a good man.
1232
01:30:45,096 --> 01:30:47,860
In fact, Albert Brennaman is a great man.
1233
01:30:47,999 --> 01:30:50,695
I just got out of a five-year relationship.
1234
01:30:50,835 --> 01:30:53,702
I'm a lot of fun at parties. I like dogs...
1235
01:30:53,838 --> 01:30:56,500
And then you're mad at me
for what I do for a living?
1236
01:30:56,607 --> 01:30:57,972
I've already got your number...
1237
01:30:58,076 --> 01:31:00,670
so why don't you go
consult your conscience?
1238
01:31:00,778 --> 01:31:03,542
- Albert is in love with her.
- Just like Sebastian?
1239
01:31:03,681 --> 01:31:05,581
- Is there a problem?
- No, just one sec.
1240
01:31:05,716 --> 01:31:08,480
- What do you have against Allegra anyway?
- Nothing.
1241
01:31:08,586 --> 01:31:11,680
My interest is protecting women
from assholes like you.
1242
01:31:11,789 --> 01:31:13,484
I did ice climbing once.
1243
01:31:13,591 --> 01:31:15,889
- You don't even know me.
- And whose fault is that?
1244
01:31:16,027 --> 01:31:18,825
...the sun comes up,
the ice really starts to fall apart.
1245
01:31:18,930 --> 01:31:20,158
I bet. I'm sorry.
1246
01:31:20,264 --> 01:31:22,357
- Do you know this guy?
- Apparently not.
1247
01:31:22,467 --> 01:31:24,094
You're in my seat.
1248
01:31:24,235 --> 01:31:27,727
You really...
I'm doing you a favor, believe me.
1249
01:31:27,872 --> 01:31:32,002
Basically, I like outdoor sports.
But indoor sports have their place, too.
1250
01:31:32,110 --> 01:31:34,772
There are certain aspects of my job
that are secretive.
1251
01:31:34,912 --> 01:31:37,039
And my job is to try to find the truth.
1252
01:31:37,148 --> 01:31:40,777
The truth? You wouldn't know the truth
if it kicked you in the head.
1253
01:31:40,918 --> 01:31:43,512
If Albert Brennaman has to take a fall for it,
so be it.
1254
01:31:43,621 --> 01:31:45,851
Why don't you say
what's really pissing you off?
1255
01:31:45,957 --> 01:31:47,447
I've been waiting to talk to her...
1256
01:31:47,592 --> 01:31:50,060
- You want to sit down? Here you go. Gong!
- Thank you.
1257
01:31:50,161 --> 01:31:51,219
Excuse me.
1258
01:31:51,329 --> 01:31:54,389
Hi. Actually, you're not supposed to move.
1259
01:31:54,499 --> 01:31:57,263
I'm Alex Hitchens. No, it's okay. Go.
1260
01:31:57,401 --> 01:31:58,959
- I'm Casey.
- Hi, Casey.
1261
01:31:59,103 --> 01:32:02,072
I work for a small publishing house
in the press department...
1262
01:32:02,173 --> 01:32:05,233
which isn't actually where I want to be.
But it's a good house...
1263
01:32:05,343 --> 01:32:07,903
You handled me. You manipulated me.
1264
01:32:08,012 --> 01:32:11,641
You researched me and you showed me
my great-grandfather's signature.
1265
01:32:11,782 --> 01:32:13,909
Wait. You're Ellis Island?
1266
01:32:14,018 --> 01:32:15,918
- I thought that was real sweet.
- Thank you.
1267
01:32:16,020 --> 01:32:17,681
Case, you're not helping.
1268
01:32:17,788 --> 01:32:19,415
Excuse me, I'm on a date.
1269
01:32:20,758 --> 01:32:24,421
Does it ever occur to women
that maybe a guy might like to have a plan...
1270
01:32:24,529 --> 01:32:25,996
because he's nervous?
1271
01:32:26,130 --> 01:32:30,089
He's not sure that he could just
walk up to you and you'd respond if he said:
1272
01:32:30,201 --> 01:32:31,668
"I like you. "
1273
01:32:36,107 --> 01:32:39,201
- That sounds good to me.
- True, you can't tell them you like them.
1274
01:32:39,310 --> 01:32:42,507
- I tried that. It didn't go well.
- I've crashed and burned on that.
1275
01:32:42,647 --> 01:32:45,309
That is what you did, and I did like you!
1276
01:32:45,449 --> 01:32:48,475
I just didn't know I was being worked over
by some professional.
1277
01:32:48,586 --> 01:32:49,951
He doesn't have a badge.
1278
01:32:50,621 --> 01:32:52,646
The only time he was sincere
or spontaneous...
1279
01:32:52,790 --> 01:32:56,590
was when everything was going wrong
or when you were stoned out of your head.
1280
01:32:56,694 --> 01:32:59,993
- I'm sorry to interrupt. Do I know you?
- No, I don't think so.
1281
01:33:00,131 --> 01:33:02,998
- You wanna see me be spontaneous?
- Sure, you want a Benadryl?
1282
01:33:03,134 --> 01:33:07,696
This is really kind of distracting.
And I haven't gotten laid in a year!
1283
01:33:14,045 --> 01:33:16,878
We're sorry.
Why don't you guys get back to your date?
1284
01:33:17,748 --> 01:33:20,114
Or go somewhere.
1285
01:33:21,185 --> 01:33:22,413
Maybe from the bank?
1286
01:33:23,020 --> 01:33:26,786
If this doesn't work out, call him.
He might hook you up with Paris Hilton.
1287
01:33:26,891 --> 01:33:30,224
Wait, that's it. You're the Date Doctor, right?
1288
01:33:34,865 --> 01:33:37,834
- You're the Date Doctor?
- Do we have a problem here?
1289
01:33:37,935 --> 01:33:42,531
Yeah, a big one!
What the hell did I ever do to you?
1290
01:33:44,508 --> 01:33:45,907
Am I missing something?
1291
01:33:46,410 --> 01:33:48,469
Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
1292
01:33:48,779 --> 01:33:51,407
Why don't you go hit a titty bar
with your buddy Vance?
1293
01:33:57,255 --> 01:33:58,347
Wow.
1294
01:34:00,258 --> 01:34:01,452
I don't believe this.
1295
01:34:05,096 --> 01:34:06,461
That's your source?
1296
01:34:07,365 --> 01:34:08,889
You buried yourself, Alex.
1297
01:34:09,567 --> 01:34:11,228
Then you weren't listening.
1298
01:34:11,369 --> 01:34:13,564
I heard every word.
1299
01:34:14,071 --> 01:34:15,698
You're a scam artist.
1300
01:34:15,806 --> 01:34:19,367
- You trick women into getting...
- Into getting out of their own way...
1301
01:34:19,477 --> 01:34:22,913
so great guys like Albert Brennaman
have a fighting chance.
1302
01:34:23,047 --> 01:34:26,574
No, I want everybody
to take a good look at this right now.
1303
01:34:26,717 --> 01:34:28,184
Because this right here...
1304
01:34:28,286 --> 01:34:32,279
this is exactly why falling in love
is so goddamn hard.
1305
01:34:33,758 --> 01:34:35,692
Sir, let's go. Now.
1306
01:34:38,729 --> 01:34:41,163
And Vance Munson is a pig!
1307
01:34:41,265 --> 01:34:43,597
And I refused to work with him.
1308
01:34:44,335 --> 01:34:46,064
You need to get your facts right.
1309
01:34:48,339 --> 01:34:51,433
It's because of jerks like him
that I even have a job.
1310
01:34:54,478 --> 01:34:55,809
Had a job.
1311
01:35:08,659 --> 01:35:10,092
Can you believe that guy?
1312
01:35:11,362 --> 01:35:13,990
Actually, I do.
1313
01:35:35,386 --> 01:35:36,614
You...
1314
01:35:38,289 --> 01:35:40,086
complete me.
1315
01:35:41,625 --> 01:35:44,025
- I might just have...
- Shut up.
1316
01:35:44,729 --> 01:35:46,196
Just shut up.
1317
01:35:47,164 --> 01:35:49,155
You had me at "hello. "
1318
01:36:17,328 --> 01:36:18,693
No comment.
1319
01:36:23,234 --> 01:36:27,193
This is off the record.
1320
01:36:32,510 --> 01:36:34,307
I came to apologize.
1321
01:36:34,545 --> 01:36:37,036
I made some assumptions about you...
1322
01:36:37,181 --> 01:36:40,048
based on nothing, it turns out.
1323
01:36:42,887 --> 01:36:46,721
- I guess Casey's right. My best friend...
- Don't worry about it. We're straight.
1324
01:36:48,025 --> 01:36:52,052
I should've asked you.
But sometimes you're so guarded.
1325
01:36:52,196 --> 01:36:55,597
I just don't wanna be another reason
for you to...
1326
01:36:56,634 --> 01:37:00,764
I'm not someone who likes to get involved
past a certain point.
1327
01:37:00,938 --> 01:37:04,738
And that point was about a week ago.
1328
01:37:10,815 --> 01:37:15,411
Well, I just want to say I'm really sorry...
1329
01:37:16,987 --> 01:37:18,545
and I didn't mean to hurt you.
1330
01:37:21,125 --> 01:37:22,524
You didn't.
1331
01:37:26,664 --> 01:37:27,892
That's a relief.
1332
01:37:56,961 --> 01:37:59,896
- Hey, fella.
- Yeah, good. You?
1333
01:38:02,566 --> 01:38:03,760
What you got there?
1334
01:38:03,901 --> 01:38:08,565
This? I figured maybe if my heart
stops beating, it wouldn't hurt so much.
1335
01:38:10,107 --> 01:38:11,404
She hasn't called back?
1336
01:38:15,846 --> 01:38:17,177
You want some coffee?
1337
01:38:22,620 --> 01:38:23,814
I want you to fix it.
1338
01:38:28,459 --> 01:38:29,721
I got nothing, Albert.
1339
01:38:31,795 --> 01:38:34,229
You wanna do something?
We should get out tonight.
1340
01:38:34,331 --> 01:38:37,391
Honestly, I never knew I could feel like this.
1341
01:38:37,501 --> 01:38:40,095
I swear I'm going out of my mind.
1342
01:38:41,639 --> 01:38:44,073
I wanna throw myself off
of every building in New York.
1343
01:38:44,174 --> 01:38:48,668
I see a cab and I wanna dive in front of it,
because then I'll stop thinking about her.
1344
01:38:48,779 --> 01:38:51,509
Look, you will. Just give it time.
1345
01:38:51,615 --> 01:38:53,981
That's just it. I don't want to.
1346
01:38:54,451 --> 01:38:57,545
I've waited my whole life
to feel this miserable.
1347
01:38:57,721 --> 01:39:00,417
If this is the only way
I can stay connected with her...
1348
01:39:00,524 --> 01:39:02,082
then this is who I have to be.
1349
01:39:02,226 --> 01:39:06,322
No, you don't.
You can change, you can adapt.
1350
01:39:06,964 --> 01:39:09,660
You can make it
so you don't ever have to feel like this.
1351
01:39:09,767 --> 01:39:10,756
Ever again.
1352
01:39:21,245 --> 01:39:23,406
Oh, my God. You just don't get it, do you?
1353
01:39:24,415 --> 01:39:25,712
I get it.
1354
01:39:27,217 --> 01:39:28,616
Let me get this straight.
1355
01:39:28,786 --> 01:39:32,051
You're selling this stuff,
but you don't believe in your own product.
1356
01:39:32,356 --> 01:39:35,154
- Love is my life.
- No. Love is your job.
1357
01:39:48,973 --> 01:39:51,498
You wanna jump out a plane
without a chute, be my guest.
1358
01:39:51,609 --> 01:39:53,668
But forgive me if I don't join you.
1359
01:39:54,912 --> 01:39:57,107
This isn't about love for you at all, is it?
1360
01:40:00,718 --> 01:40:02,879
This whole time, I thought I was the coward.
1361
01:40:07,958 --> 01:40:10,051
- Where you going?
- Skydiving.
1362
01:40:41,158 --> 01:40:42,352
Taxi!
1363
01:41:16,093 --> 01:41:17,424
Mr. Hitchens.
1364
01:41:18,462 --> 01:41:20,760
Miss Cole,
thank you very much for seeing me.
1365
01:41:20,864 --> 01:41:22,991
You said it was a matter of life and death.
1366
01:41:24,501 --> 01:41:27,732
That man would've sold his soul
to make you happy.
1367
01:41:28,105 --> 01:41:30,801
So what does that make you, the devil?
1368
01:41:33,243 --> 01:41:38,044
My job is not to deceive, Miss Cole.
It's to create opportunities.
1369
01:41:39,450 --> 01:41:40,576
Like the boardroom.
1370
01:41:41,351 --> 01:41:43,410
- Would you have noticed him otherwise?
- Yes.
1371
01:41:43,520 --> 01:41:45,750
- Really?
- Eventually.
1372
01:41:50,327 --> 01:41:51,385
Maybe.
1373
01:41:55,165 --> 01:41:57,292
How did you know all that stuff about me?
1374
01:41:59,970 --> 01:42:01,767
Well, you really did your homework.
1375
01:42:03,741 --> 01:42:07,609
Like at boarding school when everyone
used to tease me because I couldn't whistle.
1376
01:42:08,045 --> 01:42:11,481
And having him dance like a buffoon
knowing that I can't dance, either.
1377
01:42:12,182 --> 01:42:16,141
Then telling him to drop mustard
on his shirt, so I'd feel less like a dork.
1378
01:42:19,790 --> 01:42:21,849
That was all you, right?
1379
01:42:22,493 --> 01:42:24,859
No. Hell, no.
1380
01:42:25,162 --> 01:42:26,254
That was him?
1381
01:42:26,697 --> 01:42:28,858
That's got Albert written all over it.
1382
01:42:30,734 --> 01:42:32,497
Did you put him up to the inhaler?
1383
01:42:32,970 --> 01:42:35,165
Stop it. He did not show you that.
1384
01:42:36,573 --> 01:42:38,598
He chucked it right before he kissed me.
1385
01:42:39,243 --> 01:42:40,540
So, wait...
1386
01:42:41,345 --> 01:42:43,404
that stuff worked for you?
1387
01:42:45,549 --> 01:42:46,914
It was adorable.
1388
01:42:54,725 --> 01:42:56,056
What did you do?
1389
01:42:58,428 --> 01:42:59,656
Nothing.
1390
01:43:04,968 --> 01:43:06,731
Absolutely nothing.
1391
01:43:08,939 --> 01:43:10,167
That's good.
1392
01:43:12,142 --> 01:43:14,702
- This was your plan the whole time?
- Albert.
1393
01:43:14,812 --> 01:43:16,939
You sail off into the sunset with my girl?
1394
01:43:21,819 --> 01:43:25,812
You were like a brother to me!
1395
01:43:26,723 --> 01:43:29,453
- He came here for you.
- Who?
1396
01:43:29,560 --> 01:43:30,891
The guy you're choking.
1397
01:43:42,539 --> 01:43:44,666
- I love you.
- I love you.
1398
01:43:44,775 --> 01:43:46,572
I really love you.
1399
01:43:50,180 --> 01:43:53,172
- I love you more.
- I love you more. I really do.
1400
01:43:55,919 --> 01:43:57,352
I got somewhere I gotta go.
1401
01:44:28,785 --> 01:44:31,083
- Yeah, who is it?
- Hitch.
1402
01:44:32,623 --> 01:44:33,681
Can I talk to you?
1403
01:44:42,199 --> 01:44:43,166
What?
1404
01:44:45,636 --> 01:44:46,796
You almost hit me.
1405
01:44:51,308 --> 01:44:55,642
Look, I just wanted to stop by, basically.
1406
01:44:57,281 --> 01:44:58,578
See, this is the thing.
1407
01:45:04,955 --> 01:45:07,981
This is weird.
I don't have me behind the door, you know.
1408
01:45:09,126 --> 01:45:10,184
Close your mouth.
1409
01:45:13,530 --> 01:45:16,761
Because I knew at some point I'd be...
1410
01:45:18,468 --> 01:45:22,131
right here. But I thought that...
1411
01:45:27,077 --> 01:45:30,069
everything would come out, but it's like...
1412
01:45:31,682 --> 01:45:32,979
That's throwing me off.
1413
01:45:38,555 --> 01:45:40,921
- Can we close the door?
- What?
1414
01:45:41,024 --> 01:45:44,482
I'm sorry. Just, can we... I just need...
1415
01:45:44,628 --> 01:45:47,563
- Are you serious?
- No, just like this.
1416
01:45:51,668 --> 01:45:53,329
What do you want, Hitch?
1417
01:45:55,439 --> 01:45:56,463
You.
1418
01:45:59,576 --> 01:46:03,410
For a whole lot of reasons
that don't make any sense to me.
1419
01:46:04,681 --> 01:46:07,980
I mean, what, we've been on three dates?
1420
01:46:08,819 --> 01:46:10,844
See, that's what's crazy.
1421
01:46:11,021 --> 01:46:13,717
That's what's crazy, because I know.
1422
01:46:14,091 --> 01:46:15,422
I know deep...
1423
01:46:15,525 --> 01:46:20,394
like just down, just in this area...
1424
01:46:21,198 --> 01:46:23,166
that I just know...
1425
01:46:24,768 --> 01:46:26,292
that I want...
1426
01:46:27,070 --> 01:46:31,166
I want to be miserable.
1427
01:46:31,274 --> 01:46:34,072
Like, really miserable.
1428
01:46:34,611 --> 01:46:35,771
Because, hey...
1429
01:46:35,879 --> 01:46:40,441
if that's what it takes
for me to be happy then...
1430
01:46:42,686 --> 01:46:44,517
Wait, that didn't come out right.
1431
01:46:44,621 --> 01:46:46,953
What the hell is wrong with you?
1432
01:46:47,057 --> 01:46:49,924
- Nothing!
- No, not you.
1433
01:46:51,561 --> 01:46:53,495
I'm talking to me.
1434
01:47:14,618 --> 01:47:16,609
Alex Hitchens, Tom Reda.
1435
01:47:21,158 --> 01:47:22,716
I'll just put this in the car.
1436
01:47:36,907 --> 01:47:38,602
Maybe it's like what you said.
1437
01:47:38,842 --> 01:47:42,938
We should just both go our separate ways
and then we'll do just fine.
1438
01:47:54,658 --> 01:47:56,319
What if fine isn't good enough?
1439
01:48:01,698 --> 01:48:03,290
What if I want extraordinary?
1440
01:48:04,634 --> 01:48:05,794
No such thing.
1441
01:48:18,315 --> 01:48:20,408
I'm just as scared as you are, Sara.
1442
01:48:21,184 --> 01:48:24,244
But I'm right here, and our time is right now.
1443
01:48:24,721 --> 01:48:26,211
Well, what about before?
1444
01:48:26,323 --> 01:48:29,622
I am a guy. Since when
do we get anything right the first time?
1445
01:48:29,726 --> 01:48:32,194
I'm a realist,
and I know what love does to people.
1446
01:48:32,696 --> 01:48:34,323
- No, you don't.
- Keys.
1447
01:48:36,500 --> 01:48:38,968
There you go. Right here.
1448
01:48:42,139 --> 01:48:44,903
I don't know who this is, and I don't care.
1449
01:48:45,642 --> 01:48:49,976
What I do know is he'll never feel about you
the way that I do.
1450
01:48:52,549 --> 01:48:55,211
- You know how to drive a stick?
- Both of you, shut up!
1451
01:49:02,192 --> 01:49:04,683
- You okay?
- Yeah. No, I'm fine.
1452
01:49:05,695 --> 01:49:07,788
You'll never be fine, and neither will I!
1453
01:49:11,268 --> 01:49:12,565
Maybe I should drive.
1454
01:49:13,670 --> 01:49:15,831
Are you trying to get yourself killed?
1455
01:49:16,006 --> 01:49:17,439
If that's what it takes.
1456
01:49:17,541 --> 01:49:18,940
Sara, what happened?
1457
01:49:19,042 --> 01:49:21,533
- He jumped on the car.
- Why?
1458
01:49:22,312 --> 01:49:23,939
Because that's what people do.
1459
01:49:24,881 --> 01:49:28,248
They leap and hope to God they can fly.
1460
01:49:34,090 --> 01:49:35,318
Because otherwise...
1461
01:49:36,426 --> 01:49:38,951
we just drop like a rock...
1462
01:49:39,629 --> 01:49:41,460
wondering the whole way down:
1463
01:49:42,432 --> 01:49:45,924
"Why in the hell did I jump?"
1464
01:49:47,704 --> 01:49:51,367
But here I am, Sara, falling.
1465
01:49:52,342 --> 01:49:56,472
And there's only one person
that makes me feel like I can fly.
1466
01:49:58,882 --> 01:50:00,042
That's you.
1467
01:50:05,388 --> 01:50:08,016
So, you kind of like me?
1468
01:50:09,092 --> 01:50:10,184
No.
1469
01:50:11,361 --> 01:50:12,521
I love you.
1470
01:50:13,897 --> 01:50:16,229
I love you, and I knew it from the first...
1471
01:50:26,876 --> 01:50:29,572
If I say it back now, it'll sound so stupid.
1472
01:50:32,749 --> 01:50:36,947
This is the guy I was telling you about.
Hitch, that's my sister, Maria.
1473
01:50:37,053 --> 01:50:38,850
And that's her husband, Tom.
1474
01:50:43,393 --> 01:50:44,655
Her husband.
1475
01:51:26,436 --> 01:51:27,903
Where's your date?
1476
01:51:28,471 --> 01:51:29,995
Don't have one.
1477
01:51:35,879 --> 01:51:37,608
I know. Shocking, huh?
1478
01:51:41,117 --> 01:51:43,847
Oh, my God!
1479
01:51:50,860 --> 01:51:52,088
Are you all right?
1480
01:51:53,730 --> 01:51:55,220
Grandma, what happened?
1481
01:51:55,732 --> 01:51:59,031
This young lady just saved my life.
1482
01:52:03,773 --> 01:52:05,866
Ask her to dance.
1483
01:52:07,143 --> 01:52:09,338
Well, if you insist.
1484
01:52:10,480 --> 01:52:13,472
- I'm Casey.
- Charles Wellington.
1485
01:52:14,751 --> 01:52:17,879
- And this...
- Forget it. Just go.
1486
01:52:31,501 --> 01:52:33,196
Basic principles:
1487
01:52:34,604 --> 01:52:35,764
There are none.
1488
01:52:40,765 --> 01:52:42,765
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