Hell.Ride.2008.DVDRiP.XViD-TheBatman Original Timing For Translation Made By pee-jay Subtitled by Doccie
Safe-keep the treasure.
I know you'll keep your word baby.
Safe-keep the treasure for my boy.
Keep safe, the treasure. For my boy
Fucking
Fucking arrow.
Fucking arrow in the middle of the fucking desert.
It's a nihilist dream come true.
It's a hell of a place to die.
It's a hell of a way to die.
It was goddamn perfect.
Shut up.
You want a swing of this whiskey before I pull that arrow?
It's my destiny to die right here with a fucking arrow sticking out of me.
With any luck The Gent and Comanche will die laughing.
Guess I'm gonna live another day.
*chuckles*
You got that right.
Ah hell.
Fucker's gonna burn.
Come on! Hey! Hey!
Heeyyyy!
This might be the best dust I've ever seen.
Pistol, I've been up to my ass in dust plenty of times, but...
This kinda dust is like a supreme kind of dust.
It's like been sent from some other planet.
It's like, I just want to live in dust now for the rest of my life.
Shut the fuck up!
Where's Comanche?
He's over there taking a piss.
He doesn't wanna get any dust on his dick.
When we ride, move him up to my left.
You're name is Bix?
Forget Bix.
From now on, you're known as Comanche.
"Had they really nailed everyone responsible
for St. Louie's death?"
Thought Pistolero.
Sorry, my finger got stuck
Next time, share a little.
The Six-Six-Six'ers...
They're back.
Something is rotten in the State of Pistolero.
*grunting* Motherfucker!
So I say...
Cut off their heads, take 'em with us.
I say we just take a few pinkies and...
Call it a day.
How's about we take their stash, torch the trailer and get the fuck out of here.
Why don't you put a smile on your face.
Let some sunshine in.
Life is good.
You're having a bad hair day, ask Comanche to take a little off the top.
Thanks for that.
Danke schön, for the second-hand smoke.
You got right on the edge there.
Closer than a hair on a nad's ass
On the verge of the brink? - Yeah.
Reading the situation exactly right...
Is how come I'm the Pres.
Hey Comanche, listen...
Pistolero...
Wanted me to pass on some important information to you.
There's a job opening at Super Cuts
About two and a half miles up the road
Those mutherfuckers had it coming.
Yeah.
Louie really was a fucking saint. - Yeah
I'm gonna keep cutting up any motherfucker that had anything to do with him dying.
Trigger...
You named your bike after a horse?
Exactly...
How old is Trigger in...
Horse-bike years?
Uhh... She's younger than the women I saw you in that bar in Reno last week.
I gotta tell you, she's less horsie-looking too.
Pistolero wants you on his left.
Speechless ey?
The left, huh?
I've never seen anybody move up so fast before.
And I'll do my best to remember that.
Anything you want to get off your chest.
Anything you want to talk about. Just think of us as a...
Support group.
Well, golly gee.
Thanks!
Lets get the fuck out of this motherfucking hellhole!
Bob the Bum...
We...
Are...
Financially...
Solvent.
Bob the Bum. It's good to be financially solvent!
Hey, can we talk?
Can we talk? You wanna talk? - Yeah, it's... kinda important.
Now? - Yeah, it's... kinda like, real fucking important.
Can't it wait a couple of hours, you bum?
Yeah, we'll talk in about a month and a half.
It was America's Bicentennial.
And for Johnny,
St. Louie, and Eddie Zero...
Rebellion was still in the air.
Sonny!
The three Victors had a little business with the Deuce and Billy Wings.
It was the beginning of bad blood.
Wanna fuck?
Trust me, after I give you the bad news
You ain't gonna wanna fuck. Ever. Again.
Fuck me good one more time, before you never wanna fuck again.
I'm the Messenger of Misery, baby.
But fuck first
Then I'll deliver my miserable message.
Let's fuck right here.
We never fucked right here before.
Fuck me good, right here baby.
If you don't fuck me right now, you are going straight to Hell.
Baby... I'm already in Hell.
Apparantely I made a reservation this morning.
Did you make a reservation for two?
It's a very strict dress code in Hell.
You know, you just can't waltz into Hell.
There's a doorman outside. - Baby...
I was built for Hell.
I'm your devil babe
I'm your very own, personal hellcat.
Hellhole.
Baby, you're good.
Baby, you're bad!
Give me the info.
Can I ask you something first?
Go ahead.
Just what kind of fucking President are ya?
Everybody wants you assassinated.
Maybe you don't belong in the Presidential Suite.
I'm better than the CIA,
Better than the Internet, better than the Enquire.
I'm better than all of them put together.
I've gathered more intelligence than anyone you've ever met.
I'm better than deep throat.
Give me the fucking info.
Okay...
The Six-Six-Six'ers are reforming in the City of Angels.
The Deuce and Billy Wings are back
with a vengeance.
Always pay your debts to Billy Wings.
Late last night a message was sent to all Hellraisers that said,
"The Deuce would like life a lot better"
"If he was living in Victors' territory."
Give me something new, yah?
This whole Deuce-business
Has something to do with 1976.
Something to do with that Cherokee Kisum woman.
That's all I wanted to hear.
Now we fuck.
Get much out of Opium yet?
Yep.
Flowing red in there. Blood alley.
What do you got so far?
How much can you live with?
I can stomach anything. I got a stomach.
Speed and Machete, are tied to the Deuce.
Were. They're finito. Goody Two-Shoes just called in.
You know, Speed and the Six-Six-Six'ers, They set up the St. Louie crack-by.
With Opium.
The Six-Six-Six'ers are definitely coming at us.
Deuce and Billy Wings are coming.
Meet me tomorrow. In Tuscon. Dani's Inferno.
3PM. You got that?
Yeah.
How much did the Deuce pay you to set off St. Louie?
Stand up?
I'm sorry.
Please...
Right from the start I treated you like a son.
Oh well...
Family isn't everything.
No no, no...
Where's the Deuce, Doc?
And where's Pistolero?
I guess I'm just a fuck-up Billy.
Yes, you are.
And I guess I won't be needing your services anymore.
You're off the payroll Doc.
Hello Gigi. - Hey
Hey.
Tell Yvonne that the Victors are gonna seize the VIP table.
Bring over some beer. - Well if our beer don't kill you
It'll sure make you piss stronger.
I got the Cowboy.
text 191
Bitch! - Slut!
Yeah?!
Hi Gent.
Nice.
Hello
Hey, how many of these fucking
Oily little Devils you bang anyway, man?
Yvonne!
You snuck up on me didn't you?
Uh, gentlemen, this is Yvonne.
The future... Mrs. Gent.
Yeah, we won't be shopping for furniture anytime soon.
What happened?
Oh, you introduced Gigi as the...
future Mrs. Gent last month.
*muttering*
I forgot.
To the next Mrs. Gent.
Oh and when you're done.
Come to my office.
We're having a private party. - I'm fucking there.
Right now. - These guys are animals.
Why we gotta wait?
Bitch!
Okay, you're out!
text 217
And you're out!
Hey! - Pistolero
Kept his word.
He made a vow
To the Three B's:
Bikes, Beer and Booty.
We could be rich, man.
You know... I'm talking about Four B's.
Bikes, Beer, Booty and Big Bucks, man!
That's actually fucking 5 B's. Right there.
Listen, there's a lot of dough to be had out there.
All right? Deuce. the Six-Six-Six'ers.
They're the fucking future.
Pistolero... He's the ou
All I know.
Is I'd battle Satan for Pistol.
A little fucking redundant don't you think? - You know what? Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck me?
Hey, fuck both you guys man. I'm headed in there right now
And fucking wrestling those bitches.
Hey! Ape shit!
Well, fuck it. If I have to help him I have to help that sweet little Devil.
Come on
text 242
Come on in.
Oh man. - Shit.
Hey, hey! - Yeah
That was some good shit. - You see me...
Where's all them oily pussies at anyway man?
The oily bird gets the worm.
Meet me at Tuscon tomorrow, at 6 o'clock.
Dani's Inferno.
Ladies are not welcome, except on Ladies' Night.
I got a sit-down with the Sixers.
Well...
The fucking Sixers ain't here.
This better not be one long fucking ride for nothing, man.
Well, I gotta take a piss.
Where's your head?
Well, the Ladies' room is closed, 'cept for Ladies' Night.
Now you got a .38
pointed at your head.
You give me your colors, you little pisser.
Or there's gonna be one unvictorious Victor.
What are you gonna do...
With these eight other little pissers, when I don't.
Well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna wine 'em and dine 'em.
I'm gonna, show 'em Paris.
You oughta see how I'm gonna buy them off.
You know.
You have to accept the fact that...
The Brotherhood of Bikers is bullshit.
The Three B's: Bikers, Brotherhood, Bullshit.
You ever do anything but yak?
You half-witty piss-poor shitwit nitwit?
Take us, to the fucking Sixers!
Sure thing, man.
Come on. No probleme.
How long do you have that bike.
Since 1976.
Follow me if you can!
He's fucking with us man!
Relax.
I know this desert like the back of my hand.
You just keep me in sight.
This guy's a fucking clown.
Listen to me, we catch that old motherfucker?
Let's whack that Indian motherfucker too.
We don't need him no more.
And I know who's side I'm on. The Deuce.
Fucking copasetic by me.
I'm with you man.
The Deuce. The Six-Six-Sixers. Billy Wings!
Ladies you shouldn't ride Indians.
Except on Ladies' Night.
Now...
Put your balls on ice.
Get some info out of him first.
Before we send him to the happy hunting grounds.
*muttering*
I hope you got insurance old man.
Be cool sonny boy.
Greetings from Pistolero.
Hehe
Noone said nothing to me about
Nobody pissing on my boots.
And I'm gonna tell Johnny Pissed-Off
That I'm lots more pissed off than him.
Comanche,
Meet Eddie Zero.
Now give me hand with this.
'Cause I got things to go and places to do.
Come on.
Perfect.
Don't say that.
The day that it's perfect,
Is your last day on Earth.
Hell is gonna get a hell of a lot worse.
I think I finally found Cherokee Kisum's boy.
The ones who killed Cherokee Kisum...
Killed St. Louie too.
The Gent. - That's me.
Pistolero would like to chat with you and Comanche.
Well thanks for the latest breaking news there, Wolf Blitzer
Dani's Inferno at 6 o'clock.
Stay off the main highways
The Sixers are cruising around.
Listen, it's dangerous as hell out here.
How are you doing - weaponry-wise?
What are you some kind of... Bike-to-bike salesman?
I'm Eddie Zero, man...
I thought Eddie Zero got killed in a big rig crash in '86.
Yeah... I wish.
Well them him, Pistolero...
That I need to have a chat with him
Before the other chat.
About this asshole habit of him.
Concealing shit from me.
Tell him your-fucking-self, man.
My pussy's on fire.
Your thoughtfulness has given me the burning rush.
I'd like to have the fire marshal arrive on the scene.
Extinguish the fire, Mr. Fire Chief.
How about we get that firehose out?
Fire drill...
Fire-buck me.
First the Fire Chief takes a ride into the desert
Then I put out the fire.
What kind of Fire Department is this?
Fire-resistant. -Fire-retardent if you ask me.
You ain't the only fire truck in town you know. Maybe I'll go fire insurance.
That kind of talk won't get you anywhere with me. I'm fire-proof.
Did you bring the Peyote? I got some thinking to do.
Here's a little reading material.
That's a lot of trees, baby.
Six hundred and sixty-six pages.
Maybe when I get back...
Your fire boy might just do a little professional fire-eating.
Now you're talking Mr. Fire Boy.
I know you'll keep your word, baby.
Safekeep the treasure. For my boy.
Portable Pistolero!
Your asshole behaviour looks good all written down.
It's extential, but sexy.
It's sexistential!
And it's not just the Peyote talking.
Lets get the fireworks started. I got to be moving on.
It's done. Finito.
Do whatever you want with it when I'm dead.
It's your annuity.
I want you to drop those pants.
Sit back and relax. And watch my tongue fight fire with fire.
Can we have a little fire-side chat after you're done tongueing me?
How's about we have a little fire-side chat while I'm tongueing you?
We'll kill two birds with one tongue?
Are you 86'ing me?
You're not a pussy-eater.
You never ate my pussy. Not once.
Why, all of a sudden?
Nobody dumps me.
I'm the one that does the 86'ing!
You fucking need to get that Cherokee Kisum out of your gut.
Once and for all!
Oh!
Jesus!
Puta Madre!
Bury me near St. Louie.
At the cactus flower.
Safekeep the treasure. For the boy.
Can I get you anything Deuce?
text 389
You must be The Gent?
What tipped you off?
The outfit?
I'm known as Dani around these parts.
I'm a friend of Pistolero's
Is that a fact?
Kind of a dangerous thing to be nowadays isn't it?
What's your pleasure?
Booze-wise?
What's your nationality?
Born in the US of A.
I'm part Irish, part Italian, ..
text 402
I must say, God bless America.
And Goddammit, I'll have an American beer.
You got it.
What a country.
Thank you. What should we drink to?
Christopher Columbus! - To Amerigo Vespucci.
Hey!
Why'd you fly the coup?
That wasn't part of the fucking plan.
We were supposed to talk to Pistolero together.
After... He got done fucking.
It'd be a whole lot easier to explain if you didn't have that gun pointed at my face.
My life used to be a...
Bike & Booty epic.
Because of you and Pistolero it's turned into a whopper.
Of a Chopper Opera.
Well, if you'd like
I could turn your life into an Operetta.
Why'd you hit me with that bottle.
How many of these do you got?
Just one.
And I just used it up.
Yes, you did son.
Order a beer.
Well, what do you got? - What do you want?
Around here, we drink...
American beer!
American it is then.
I want to make a suggestion where you can stick all your sticks.
Nobody's gonna stop you. - What the fuck!
Implementing a plan to safe the day?!
All you've been doing is running around collecting girls' phone numbers.
Come on, fucker!
Go easy.
Apache uprising.
Medicine woman saved my life after she almost killed me.
Beer?
Yeah.
Which asshole are you betting on?
I'm betting you're a bigger asshole than the two of them put together
I'll drink to that.
To the President of Assholes.
It took me years to figure out if you were a good guy...
Or a bad guy...
Is that good thing? Or a bad thing?
It's how come I'm the Pres.
I'm gonna kill the two of you
soon as you wear yourselves out a little more.
Rope-a-dopes!
You know, my life used to be...
One long biker party.
All the pussy was wide open and
The whiskey was flowing.
Now it seems my...
Life has turned into some kind of a...
Psycho symphony.
A symphony in six hundred and sixty-six movements.
A six hundred and sixty-six cc psycho symphony,
With no intermezzos. - SHUT THE FUCK UP!
What the hell were you two assholes thinking?
Dani, can I be alone with my two assholes?
No Victor...
Does any business...
Without getting the go-ahead from me first.
You told us, to never-ever bother you, when you were fucking!
I had everything covered.
Infiltrators. Rats!
Benedict Arnolds up the ass!
I had us covered!
You had -you- covered!
Now goddammit! I rue the day, I became a Victor!
And I rue the day, that I brought Bix in!
You didn't bring Bix in.
He suckered you, into introducing him to me.
Nobody likes to be... suckered!
Hey.
Go easy on him!
I actually felt that one.
Good.
We got some serious hell-fighting to do with Billy Wings.
In... or out?
Well, I don't know, only one way.
Which way's it gonna be?
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
I'm in.
Good.
I'm holding two aces.
I'm holding two aces and one Deuce.
I'm holding one Deuce, at the Inn 6.
Off of Route 66.
I had it covered.
I had it all fucking covered.
I want you to meet me at Inn 6, Route 66
Tomorrow morning, at 6AM.
Think you can remember that? - Are you gonna tell me six more times?
Child of six can remember that.
Hey.
What do those white wings mean?
They're for licking virgin pussy.
Red wings, for licking a bleeding pussy.
See that?
Blue and yellow, for licking a police woman.
Blue, yellow and brown wings.
They're for licking a police woman's asshole.
Green wings...
For licking a pussy with crabs.
And purple wings..
They're for licking a dead pussy.
See that?
Pill-popping, cunt-eating...
dog-smoking motherfucker!
But you know... In a good way.
Get out of here.
Come 'ere.
Comanche.
I want you to meet Maria.
Hello.
What the hell are you, and what the fuck is your story?
I'm just a guy named Comanche.
A Victor...
Named Comanche. That's my story.
Do you know anything about a key?
No, tell me about it.
Do you know anything about a safe-deposit box?
No...
Tell me about it.
Ever heard of Cherokee Kisum?
I knew a Cherokee Indian woman once.
The Deuce did too, from way back.
And they weren't busy leading the sexual revolution.
They were busy producing acid. They made a fortune on the LSD market.
Then coke.
The only problem was...
She was fucking over the Deuce while she was fucking him.
And let me tell you something...
She stashed away one hell of a mint.
On July 4th, 1976
She went up in flames.
She had a boy.
Nobody saw that boy ever again.
How do I know for sure that you're you?
Stand up.
Hi Deuce. How are ya?
Hello Johnny.
It's been, many a moon.
Ah, thank you, for this suite Johnny.
You know, uh... Hope I'm not being unreasonable, but...
No mint on the pillow again, last night.
No pillow, in fact.
You know Johnny.
Mint-whoring is...
Not good for business.
The key to a good business relationship is, everybody's happy.
I'm not happy, Johnny.
That's...
That's a very nice suit.
Yeah, well, it used to be.
Before I was Shanghaid two nights ago.
I thought you got killed by a big rig back in '86!
I ain't happy Johnny.
Who is, Deuce?
I mean...
Tell me if it's none of my business, but I, I...
I heard you did a lot of traveling all these years.
That's very true. In America.
Building an empire.
Just right around, the summer of '76
I think, when you...
You kind of...
86th yourself from the Six-Six-Sixers.
You know, Johnny.
Motorcycles' a big business.
A -big- business.
I mean, books, magazines,
Clothing, customizing shops.
So big that I finally had to give up...
Riding bikes, so I could...
Concentrate on my motorcycle business.
I travelled all over the United States.
The Keystone State...
the Treasure State...
The Show Me State...
Setting up businesses.
I decided to come back here, because
Because I had some, unfinished business.
Boy, oh boy.
I tell you.
I don't know nothing about the...
Keystone States...
The Treasure State or the Show Me State.
I don't know 'em...
My business has always been
Just kinda minding my own business.
So how is business?
It's business as usual.
Good.
Then, can we get down to business? Let's cut a deal.
How's this. I get the Sixers of your back.
And off of The Gent's back.
And uh...
You give me whatever you think I'm entitled to
For services rendered.
And everybody's happy.
The three key points of this deal being that...
I get deposited back in LA
With my entitlement
And you and The Gent, get to die old men.
Those are the three keypoints of this deal.
I've had enough of you.
Cut out the double talk.
He doesn't know anything about a safe-deposit box or a key.
Key...?
What...
What, what key are you talking about?
The key that Cherokee Kisum had made.
Who's Cherokee Kisum?
Cherokee Kisum was the young woman
You kept company with.
The young woman, who was set on fire on July 4th, 1976.
Deuce, she's gotta burn.
No, Johnny, I...
I'm sorry, I don't have any recollection of any of this.
It was quite a long time ago.
Can you recollect setting St. Louie on fire a couple of nights ago?
Deuce! I swear!
Pistolero never said a fucking thing about
Any safe-deposit box!
No Johnny.
No memory of it at all.
But then...
I ain't no Marcel Proust.
You got any, proof of all this?
Do I need fucking proof?
Well, you must need something, or...
I'd be dead already, wouldn't I?
The only reason you're not dead is, before I kill you
I wanted to ask Sonny Kisum if he'd like to cut off your head
Before I do it.
Hell yes.
I waited all these years, to kill him with you.
We still got business with Billy Wings.
Partners in crime, right?
I had Eddie Zero trying to track down Sonny Kisum for years.
Maybe you would have found Sonny Kisum.
If your tracker wasn't a 24/7 hash head.
No.
No, in my opinion, you don't find Sonny Kisum
Until Sonny Kisum wants to be found.
I was just about to say that.
Cherokee Kisum...
Was one wild as hell woman.
A good woman.
But wild...
I gave her my word.
If anything happened to her
I'd safekeep the treasure for her boy.
Is it being kept safe for her?
And the safekeeping of Cherokee Kisum was?
She wasn't looking to me for safekeeping?
I never knew what happened the day she died.
And couldn't find anyone who did.
It was a thirty-six carrat,
Diamond-studded,
Solid gold riddle.
Look, I'm an owl.
Oh man...
Get out of here.
text 675
In the basket.
Ain't that Pistolero one malevolent motherfucker!
Follow me to Pistolero!
If you can stomach it.
Well now, the way I see it.
I did got close to that treasure once before.
And I ain't gonna let that motherfucker fuck it up again this time.
Let's ride!
Go home...
It all amount to nothing!
Pistolero's coming here.
Don't fuck up. I need him alive.
Hey! Biker biker!
Purple wings!
Can you two stomach which dead pussy earned me my purple wings?
Ain't nothin' you can do to me
I can't stomach.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
Give Comanche the two keys you're holding and let him safekeep 'em for a while.
Give Comanche the two keys you're holding
And let him safekeep 'em for a while, goddammit!
Take a peak at St. Louie, see if he's resting in peace.
Look for the cactus flower.
You know, you should lighten up on yourself.
When you fuck with The Deuce, you're gonna get burned by The Deuce!
I met her before she met The Deuce.
First met her in 1969.
Through Eddie Zero.
She was sixteen, I was fourteen.
Think about that one.
Hey.
You okay? - Nada?
Yes sir.
Did you bring my jacket?
Everything okay? - Ah yeah.
So...
How come we've never met before?
I'm Eddie. - I know Eddie.
You ever get tired of faking your own death?
You got a joint?
Sure do.
Baby. - Hey Kimosabe...
Just how much was in that box for us? From the Cherokee woman.
Us?
Us, yeah. Like you and me, us, yeah.
I know it would come to this. Us.
Well, I don't want nothing from it.
I'm only curious to know how much is in there.
You're just curious...
But you don't want nothing from it.
No, I don't.
It's none of our business, what's in the box.
So, what you're saying is...
That the booty, in the box,
That I've already said, that I don't want nothing from.
Is none of my business?
So let me get this straight.
The box, and the booty that's in it...
Which, I've already said
That I don't want nothing off,
Is none of my business?
Put out of the booty business, in other words.
Well you're being downright unfriendly now.
Where's the cash that Bob the Bum was holding
When he got his throat slit.
Oh, well I'm holding on to that.
I'm keeping it safe.
Because that's my destiny.
And maybe that's none of your business.
Oh, I think it's my business I think it's my business to have it right in my hand right here.
Listen, I don't want to have to kill you.
I want you to hand over Bob the Bum's cash right now.
Go ahead,
Go ahead, where do you want to kill me? Here?
You want to kill me between the eyes?
Right between the eyes, yeah.
Go ahead, go ahead, put it right between the fucking eyes.
Come on, go ahead.
Come on.
I was counting on you
To do something, to stop this whole fucking rediculous thing.
Stop all this bullshit - The hell made you think
You could count on me?
What got into your fucking brain?
Because I love ya.
Aw hell.
You did good Sonny.
I think I'm gonna call you, Son from now on.
Cause Sonny's eating up way to much fucking time.