Tschick!
Actually, I won't be here if it's not because of Tatjana.
Although he has nothing to do with all this.
If what I say is difficult to understand?
Yeah, sorry.
Tatjana Cosic even is not part of the story.
The most beautiful girl in the world has no problem.
My holidays.
Last summer we went to sea.
We are stuck in our inflatable boat.
The paddle sinks into the water.
The longer it gets hot it feels are under the sun.
Luckily the Coast Guard finally helped us.
Maik!
They save us. Alhamdulillah.
Keep trying next time, Justin.
Please sit down.
Who is next?
My birthday three weeks.
First Saturday in summer.
Party! There will be an invitation. Cinta, Tatjana.
Holidays. Water. Rescue. God.
Maik Klingenberg.
Please go upstairs.
Maik, right now.
My mother and beautiful farm. By Maik Klingenberg.
I like my mother. She's not like the other mother.
He can be very fun.
Most mothers don't like that.
My mother plays tennis.
He's a tennis enthusiast in our family.
He won the Club mespikun with a bottle of vodka in his body.
Need help, ma'am?
not poor.
This conversation often appears:
Mrs. Weber asked my mother:
Do you take part in a summer match, Mrs. Klingenberg?
Don't worry. I will go.
where?
Beautiful agriculture.
Then someone at the table who doesn't know the sentence
always throw smart innuendo:
You don't need help with that, Madam. Klingenberg.
That's just a joke. that is a rehab facility.
We also walk home since he is no longer able to drive.
I brought the racket bag weighing and he said to me,
"You can't learn much from me. But two things you can learn:"
"First, you can talk about anything."
"Second, what other people think doesn't mean anything."
Psycho!
Please, calm down.
Thank you, Maik.
I'm not finished yet.
How much longer is that?
Six pages.
That is enough for today.
Is that funny for you?
maik?
That is your mother.
Don't you think about that?
Your mother.
Do you understand?
I understand my mother is my mother.
Your story is the most ¨ sickening, disgusting and shameless
as long as I teach for 30 years.
You have to throw away your story.
I don't mean literally, I mean try to think about what you've done.
Think carefully!
Clear enough, I made a big mistake. But I don't know which one is wrong.
Wagenbach did not tell me, and I still don't know.
He told me to think.
But all I can think about is only Tatjana's birthday.
That's all that is being discussed.
I heard that Paman Tatjana brought _ his own beer as much as 100 liters.
Wow! I already bought akumenang.com
Words like that mean they have been invited.
I tried desperately to think of a gift for him.
NEW HOUSE HAPPINESS
That must be something special. But I can't get anything.
and until I finally got an idea.
... Men go bankrupt? that jerk can kiss my ass.
Hey, Maik, there's a front door.
Do you know what I will do for them?
I thought I wanted him to see I tried hard for this.
If you give a hard effort, people will guess why.
Good Morning.
Go forward with me.
All friends, please pay attention,
we have new classmates.
His name is Andrej.
Tsch... Tschicha... tschoroff.
Please?
Tschichatschow.
Will you tell us about yourself, where are you from?
I don't care.
Okay, OK, I'll do it then.
or don't you want me to tell?
Please.
So, Andrej...
Tschi-chow is the name of our new classmate,
and he is from Russia's vast expanse.
Obviously no one took Tschick's side.
No one can.
Tschick is rubbish, and he looks like that.
I have a foul feeling see him standing with Wagenbach:
two bastards with one price. -... now he's here in our middle school.
and all of that in just four years.
Like that? Is it true? well 90%.
Okay if that's the case, okay.
We can't let you stand here all day, nice to meet you.
please sit on an empty bench
in the second line next to Maik Klingenberg.
Laila, please delete the blackboard?
okay next, everyone please take your notebook...
a smell smells sting hard at me.
It's like my mother's smell when she was on her bad day.
Something will happen after his appearance with Wagenbach.
This is definitely an interesting thing.
But then nothing has happened these days.
then the following week, we get the matimatika exam results.
this is Kevin, you value D -.
I am merciful above justice.
A miracle happens!
one of you gets A +.
Not you.
not you too.
Andrej,
Congratulations.
Go upstairs and show us how you solve the 2nd problem. =
New shoes? Definitely stolen!
Tschick! - Hey, Putin!
drunk like skunk?
What do you want?
It turns on the rumor machine:
like the Tschick family is a Russian mafia.
There is no other explanation that explains how
he silences the fool with a few words.
This is on your package shipment today!
Thank you!
Then, on the last day of school...
For Justin.
I have become the most happy man in the universe
if finally an invitation comes to me...
Hey, Maik.
Hey Psycho, give it to me.
for me.
Maik Klingenberg.
this is it.
everyone has a small green invitation.
almost everything.
Tschick also doesn't get it.
Big surprise.
there is no invitation for the psycho and the weirdo.
Maik!
I really forgot you!
This is an invitation for you. I hope you can attend.
I will be very disappointed if you, from everyone, who can't come.
I hope you think of a gift for me.
Of course, I can count on you!
See you later.
I'm very happy if you come!
Happy summer vacation, Klingenberg.
Your jacket is cool...
what? - Your jacket.
I bought it.
This is my favorite. not for sale.
Where can I get this?
Hey, wait! want your kemane?
Why are you right? - Why are you screaming?
failed the exam? - no.
Are you bad? - no.
Surprised? just don't need to be embarrassed.
I don't know.
I've already admitted it? - I don't know my grades.
I haven't seen it yet. You don't check your Rapbook?
Just ignore it, woles!
what are you going to do now? - back home.
then? - not your business.
Hey Maik,
cool jacket men!
Mah?
I will return to the beautiful farm tomorrow.
maik?
minimize the sound.
I have business affairs.
I will go first.
How long?
14 days or more. no problem, right?
I leave you 200 euros.
so you don't do a problem.
Why are you silent here?
We have a swimming pool.
Do you think how much money I spent on it?
Hi.
Hello.
I'm Mona. What is your name?
Maik.
hot right?
This can be even hotter.
What are you doing this summer?
I live here.
Alone?
Don't feel sorry for this little man.
Maik, this is Mona. we work together.
We just met.
If there is anything, contact me.
During your business dealings?
Well, during my business.
not in my home page, bitch.
Don't make a problem!
You look like a homo who is watering the entire garden.
Do you steal the car?
no, just borrow it.
I will return it later.
Lada Niva, diesel fuel.
where is the touch button to turn it on? - the one on TV is fake.
Please touch anything.
Do you want to go to jail? - I'm only 14 years old.
count of new criminals at the age of 15.
Come on, Maik, we have fun.
no!
cool pool. - Yeah, the school is cool.
Cool jacket, cool pool.
What is your kitchen?
cool kitchen!
You are not from Marzahn.
My father took us to move here two years ago.
What does he do? - he is a housing developer.
Developers make lots of money huh?
Not really.
What do you mean? - My father used to want to build housing here.
but they find the environment rare beetles and rare toads.
So. can not build permission. He just built this house.
This now belongs to the bank.
What is the name of the rare frog?
Anura rossomontana.
Okay...
Men! where are you not looking!
Are you in a tank?
I am behind the warehouse. in an emergency, go to safety.
Do you go to a party?
What party?
Tatjana's party.
It's not like that.
Serious?
I have a plan.
Besides, I'm not invited.
Whoa.
I guess I'm the only one who isn't invited.
anyways it must be boring too.
Simla must be there.
and Natalie,
Laura, Corinna,
and Sarah the big tits.
Not to mention Tatjana.
and Mia.
and Jennifer's sexy ass from grade 8a.
and his cousin.
and Melanie.
Melanie...
Are you gay? - You are crazy?
because you are not interested in women.
class people pay attention to Tatjana.
You're the only one who doesn't care about his butt, you must be gay?
basic dumb.
That's not a big problem.
Do you not see me again in a bad mood?
yes, but why?
Because of that today.
What is this today? - the party, duh.
Tatjana party! - but you didn't like this.
it doesn't matter if you're gay.
I'm not gay!
I want to prove it?
You fell in love with him huh.
You have to do something!
what do you do? Go to Tatjana and say,
"I have a small gift."
"I don't mind at all if not invited."
"No problem. I just passed by."
"enjoy a painting that I do with all my heart."
that is exactly what I will do.
You don't use a penny. - Do not worry.
I drive like the champion. - then have the Champion penlight.
Everybody knows where to go.
we will not come to the party, through it right?
Do you know why Tatjana didn't invite you?
Because I am ugly and boring.
no reason.
you don't stand out. You have to steal his attention.
Look, it's Luke and Justin, the fool.
We don't enter into. We just agree to pass it.
Okay.
Tschick!
Please don't, Tschick!
Tschick, please don't.
It & apos; ll be fine.
Wait!
This.
a painting.
for you.
Hey Tatjana!
want a drink?
No thanks, we have other agenda that must be done
Should I show them a show?
show me no? - Do what you want.
Brush men!
It doesn't always work every time.
See you tomorrow?
Okay, I'll be here at 10.
Cool cars.
What if we continue to drive?
Where do you drive?
I have a grandfather in Wallachia.
in the middle of the wilderness?
not in the middle of the wilderness, in Wallachia.
Wallachia is just a figure of speech, like East Bumfuck.
People who say living in Wallachia means they live in remote areas.
That is not an area?
not. - but my grandfather lived there.
in a remote area, really? - You make me nervous.
He lives in an area called Wallachia.
That is the direction of our goal.
So you are a Russian? or Wallachia?
German. I have a passport.
Yeah, but where are you from?
Where my family comes from.
Volga German, Kalmyks, Wallachia,
Jewish Gypsies.
Jewish Gypsies, There is no such thing.
It's like saying if there is a French English.
There are French Jews and Jewish Gypsies.
I don't know you're a Jew or Gypsy.
Jews are religion. Gypsies are someone who has no home.
People who don't have a house are called Berbers.
Ah, it's not clear.
Take a look!
Hey, it's expensive to know!
Other people can find us with that.
Hey!
want to harm people with broken glass on the road? - Stupid!
we don't have a map? no phone, no map!
We will not get it. - Map only for weak people.
We only need to drive south.
Look at this person.
Richard Claydé-erman.
Really awesome.
Are you sure you are not gay?
Beware of the wrong way hoy!
No, I'm going south. - Well it's not wrong anymore!
Damn!
I can't see because of the fog.
You damn it! what's up? - he will know if you are 14 years old.
He calls the police!
Tschick, come out! - I forgot to turn on the light.
Kevin Kurányi!
You don't look like Kevin Kurányi!
You're like a 14-year-old child with paste duct tape with a stupid look.
Well this is.
Suitable for this area.
which direction to the south?
You don't know that by hour can you know the direction?
Gini, point your hand to the sun
and others point north.
so that's where north.
Since when is the sun in the north? - from now on.
Now look,
The sun rises in the east, moves south and sets in the west.
It was never in the north.
That's why this version is different from Cuy.
that doesn't apply in the summer. , try again.
But that direction isn't spinning around.
Maybe it's gyrocompass.
Gyrocompass does not rotate like gyroscope.
it's spinning because of alcohol. - you're just like that.
I read it in a book. Sailors break the compass
because of alcoholics and then they get lost.
The title of the book is "Ocean of Beer" or "Sea Wolf"...
You mean "Steppenwolf" is a story about drugs.
"Steppenwolf" is the name of the band.
fool!
I go right.
I think Clayderman is dying!
This is good.
this is a dead end.
I will not back down now!
Tschick, what are you doing?
Tschick!
Write your name!
Your name? - So we can read it on Google Earth!
Now snake bends for the letter S.
This is kerenn!
Hey loser, get out of the way!
Farmers at 6 o'clock!
No, the farmer!
Partial! - hunt, gas!
cows block the way! - Just hit it!
Fast!
Gas, fast! - Can not!
Tschick hunt!
Go! - I'm trying!
Hurry gaspollll friend!
Let's speed up! gas! gas!
Come on, Tschick!
Leave him! Yeah! - Tos dong!
We are good guys!
where are you going now?
We have to get rid of Lada from the road for a few days.
friend, Transformers!
bring a can opener?
You bring canned food but don't bring a can opener?
what do you bring?
frozen pizza. Do you have an oven?
bring a match?
hold this.
stupid.
Goal for Mario Götze! this ends all now!
Want to try?
Wow.
That's crazy.
is much better than TV.
Have you watched "Starship Troopers"?
with monkeys? - no, alien.
and the brain came out the last session?
the alien giant brain huh? - Yeah!
somewhere there, in one star,
that's what happened.
aliens actually slaughter millions.
No one knows about that.
Except for us.
really think is there anything out there?
there are only a few possibilities.
but from now on it becomes big,
there's always a chance even if it's at a small bet...
and somewhere there is a movie
played on Earth
about two small children who stole a car.
they think this is a sci-fi movie:
People and cars.
no one believes it.
except for two young beetles.
they believe it.
they only break the helicopter lock.
and they think the same thing.
They believe in us
because we believe in them.
Crazy. - Crazy.
From which orphanage do you run away?
we are not running away, we are adventurous aristocrats traveling from aristocratic land to other lands.
Are you cycling too?
We are riders.
You're wrong. They are riders.
adventurous nobles, what is that?
which is clearly not the lowly by train.
Gloria!
Karl-Theodore!
I think your security guard is calling you guys.
he counted.
Who are they? - Adventurous nobility.
Are we not eating food?
Let's ask them. - We are not strange people.
Where did you go?
to Pepper? - I have to eat.
I think we are hiding Pepper again.
Men must eat, or they will die.
Norm! - Norma!
Where is Norma?
Hey, I asked you.
We don't go to the supermarket. - But where is that?
we bought food from the Fröhlich family. - Oh, Fröhlichs.
but where is the supermarket?
The Fröhlichs family lives there.
Hello Friedemann! - Hello, Mr. Police!
Let's try again.
Where is Norma? - Do you just want to look around?
Do you go to the supermarket only to just look around?
We want to buy food!
Friedemann!
Go home, it's afternoon.
Do you know where Norma is?
They want to buy food, mama!
Whose norm? - a supermarket!
Oh! we never go there. we went to the Fröhlichs family.
we have heard. - what do you want there?
shop. We are hungry.
We want lunch. Join us.
What is the lunch menu lady? - Risi Bisi.
Wait!
We hold hands and thank God for his love,
Beautiful earth where we all live...
Tips for making it shorter.
Hopefully this food is blessed.
my goodness.
Lezaattt!
Stop! First question!
Wait, I think about the problem first.
What is Merope Gaunt getting
for the Slytherin counter... - 12 warships!
10 battleships!
Elizabeth is the fastest.
what is the name of the ship? the Alexander von Humboldt... - Pizarro!
Good, Friedemann.
why did I say 12?
What if now is a special round of guests?
Ouch not fair!
it's your turn again.
Who is the first president of Germany?
Adenauer?
Helmut Kohl! - Heuss, Lübke, Heinemann, Scheel,
Carstens, Weizsäcker, Herzog, Köhler, Wulff, Gauck.
nice Jonas.
Now you can ask.
What is the capital of Germany?
I say Berlin.
Me too.
okay eat it.
This is a watermelon. this is good when you are thirsty too.
Thank you. - Thank you very much.
dah. - dahhh!
Now I have a question:
How do you find out where is the north with a watch?
point your hand towards the sun, then turn the minute to 12,
then it shows south.
Right!
dah. - dah.
good people.
very smart.
Where is the father?
good question.
first. I wanna pee.
Show me your SIM! How old are you?
Open the door!
Open now!
your base!
Damn, Maik, sorry!
Don't complicate yourself!
Stay still there!
what should I do?
I might be 100km, or 200km, south of Berlin.
Tschick has driven with a blue Lada car
a lot of policemen passing by looked for it.
I have no idea how we will meet again.
Normally, I have to meet again
where we separate.
But that won't work now, The village police are waiting there.
Hello?
If you can't meet in the last place you split up,
You have to go back to the last place you together.
In a wind turbine!
A very simple solution!
The more I think about it,
the more I'm sure that Tschick will have the same idea.
Tschick?
Tschick!
Last place together! - Last place together!
Men!
Do you like the new color? - Cool!
Where did you get the new car plate? - Munich.
Damn, we run out of fuel.
where will we get car fuel?
What if we steal another car?
Are you crazy? we can't steal new cars every time we run out of fuel.
so this is the end of our journey.
I want to return Pepper to its place.
we are stupid!
we only need take fuel from another car.
How?
We need a hose.
Maik!
Good, how about the hose?
not at all.
Get out of there!
What?
You guys are stupid!
Are you crazy?
You hear me, stupid.
Your friend is stupid too!
Who is the bitch?
you guys are stupid!
Open your butt and shut up!
Oriental fucking! - I'm Russian!
Transvestite Russia! - I will be there!
let's come here, cowardly!
Oh, I'm scared!
He seems like he doesn't like it.
What are you looking for?
Pile Tai!
we are looking for a hose.
hose is there.
Hose!
What do you need it for?
This is a birthday present for my father.
I told you where to place the hose, now tell me why you want that.
We stole a car.
and now we have to steal the fuel.
Seriously Woy,
I've given it the place too!
please, do what you want to do.
Yo, Maik.
Perfect.
Have something to eat? - do we look like we have food?
You look like an idiot!
You call yourself.
I'm hungry.
there are blackberries behind there.
I think you're weird people.
because of using lipstick.
where do you want to go?
Wallachia.
I want to go to praha. is in line.
not in line.
Hey!
Does anyone ever smell you smell?
Baumu like tai. Go away.
You don't need to tell him if he smells.
I have to say something.
and men, well he smells!
He has beautiful eyes, but he is still a strange person.
it's open! - Good!
First, suck it.
ever heard of gravity? it won't work!
Once it 's started, overall it downward flows.
But the gas doesn't & doesn't know that!
It & apos a law of physics.
It & apos; s got a name, something force.
The bullcrap force.
Have you never seen it in a movie? - Yeah, in the movie.
Maybe the tank is empty.
It's wet. There should be gasoline.
Someone comes.
Let's go.
what are you doing? - camouflage.
you guys are stupid!
Real pros!
Can you shout even louder? - Too dumb to fuck!
Ever heard of sucking? - We were sucking!
give me the jam.
Have you never stolen gasoline in Russia?
No, I'm never, racist.
Why didn't we succeed?
This must be below water level.
oh below the water level. - correct.
what is the water level? - ask him.
My name is Isa. - good for you.
Why do you want to go to praha? I have to visit my brother.
too hot? - no, you smell too much.
there must be lice breed there.
I know.
play the cassette.
I never thought why car wiper to the right and left instead of top down
Yes I also think about it.
Don't try.
try to see.
he can't swim! - he just pretended.
you're an idiot!
Here are gifts, soap!
You certainly never saw that!
I feel love...
You're stupider than your girlfriend.
Boy maco swim like this.
Give me soap too.
I will look for food.
I want you to cut my hair.
I have never cut hair before.
I don't care, it's just short.
I don't want my clothes to get hair.
looks bad right?
good koq.
Have you ever done it?
fuck? - understand.
Not yet.
and?
and what?
want to do it?
What do you want to do?
but I want you...
Your hand is on the knee.
why?
you tremble.
I know.
You don't know anything.
I know.
we can do it.
if you want.
Do you like sausages?
what are we doing here?
vacation.
like normal people do.
this is like in the movie "Game of Thrones."
beautiful place.
This is the oldest.
Anselm Wail,
1906.
everything is dead.
like us too 100 years.
AT, MK, IS... I like that. - I like that too.
someone can make the abbreviation,
then the sentence "Atomic Crisis in 2016."
Let's scratch our hands, and smear blood on it.
Are you a Geronimo tribe now?
I'm not a Jewish Gypsy.
PRAHA EXPRESS
What is he doing? - I do not know.
Do you have 30 euros?
I will send you again later, swear!
My brother has money.
I will never succeed without you guys.
You don't fall in love anymore right?
serious You're easy to fall in love with a woman.
or what is the sentence more precisely?
it's all too fast.
subtitle by @DANKETORJA @danketorja
Do I only see this?
they are real!
Tschick!
I'm not sure of this.
I never back down.
here we are, here we are!
Tschick! watch out!
are you hurt?
What happened?
I can't drive like this.
never mind then, just come here.
It's impossible, you drive. - have you lost your mind?
You only need to step on the gas and drive. I will move the teeth.
no. Why not?
I'm a coward.
I'm coward and boring.
I never get tired of you.
not you, but Tatjana does not invite me to her stupid party.
do you know?
compared to Isa. Tatjana is nothing.
I can say that,
because...
I don't really like women.
I have never told anyone before this.
You must be thinking weird, but I'm not surprised.
Sometimes I do think I am gay.
give me my shoes.
That might solve my problem.
But apparently not. I sometimes still like sexy women.
just step on the clutch pedal, the left one
Be careful, do it slowly.
Very super.
let's try again.
be careful.
don't be too tight step on the gas.
Let the clutch slide slowly.
a little gas, that's like that.
that's right.
Brush, step on the gas again.
Yeah, good.
Well!
nice, cowardly base!
rotten pig base.
basic fools!
copy him!
copy past right!
Is he crazy?
Should I try the emergency path?
if you believe you can. - Yeah, like in the game "GTA."
so many pigs.
you're pig!
I will catch you!
if you catch it I'll...
are you okay?
Yeah.
what about you?
it seems like I scratched my hand.
Please!
Maik.
I have to go.
or they will take me to an orphanage.
Tschick!
take this. will be cold.
I'll see you again.
Cool jacket.
Klingenberg, Maik.
Maik with A I.
Date of birth? - May 14, 2002 I'm only 14 years old.
I haven't counted.
I haven't counted criminals. - Oh, of course you are counted.
You're right 14 years.
I think it should be 15.
no, it's 14.
15 it's just a joke.
Good morning. - Morning.
Where do you live?
maik?
Say something!
what? I said, yes!
Yes, I understand!
You don't understand, you're an idiot! - I'm not an idiot.
I know I'm screwing up.
No, your Russian friends are screwing up!
the damn antisocial, he messed things up!
You are too stupid to have to follow it.
Josef.
Now listen to me.
You just shut up and listen.
Let the lawyer talk what has happened.
Andrej Tschichatschow, "Tschick,"
run away and prove guilty.
stealing a car is the idea.
He was also in the car when the accident occurred.
my client is with him because he is afraid of Andrej.
That's not true.
Maik, sit down.
we both decide to travel with Lada.
and last I drive.
stop this silliness!
Calm down, Herr Klingenberg,
I will call you if I need an explanation from you.
Please sit back.
Maik. Is that true?
Yes, Your Honor.
At school they teach us violence is not the final answer.
Bullshit.
Josef!
When you can punch smackdown like that
You know it must be the final answer.
Geez.
I think what will happen.
how long will we stay in this house,
how long my parents will defend their marriage,
if my father decides to have children with Mona...
What are you doing, ma? - look at all this mess.
help me.
I know exactly what I think like when I hold my breath in water.
I think things are worse than having mothers who are alcoholics.
or abandoned by my father.
because you can't hold your breath forever,
but not for a long time.
and that's my summer. The school has reentered.
Can we talk?
I have to go to school. this is the first day of entry.
we will take you.
do you know Andrej Tschichatschow?
He's my friend. - Where is he?
Don't know.
What happened?
Lada's car was stolen.
yesterday the day after tomorrow, with chipped and broken cables.
found overnight. badly damaged.
I don't know about that, sir, officer.
I commit punishment civil service with idiots every day.
afternoon to the night I was with my mother.
that fascinated me.
Tschick can write a letter.
but to damage Pepper completely,
funny idea!
Is that Maik Klingenberg?
What happened to him?
... as well as the pitagoras theory.
Geometry,
volume,
surface, body, angle...
symmetrical...
Hey, this is for you.
where are you from this summer? - Tatjana.
He cares for me now.
Tatjana Cosic finally noticed me.
If before yesterday's summer I must have jumped for joy.
But strangely, now I don't care.
in a remote place.
The only thing I care about
is meeting Tschick again.
I think without Tschick I never felt yesterday's summer,
and it's the best summer.
The best summer ever.
AT, MK, IS... I like that. - I like that too.
someone can make the abbreviation,
it will become "Atomic Crisis in 2016."
I'm very excited for to meet Tschick again.
Tschick and Isa.
If it's not next week, maybe next week again.
& apos; because, I almost forgot this part:
Let's meet again exactly in this place 50 years from now.
dated July 28, 2066.
Whatever we do later.
or is that stupid?
no.
we will come here.
stupid...