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Good morning, sir.
This is Rajiv Chabbra calling from PP Pavitra Pani Purifier.
Stop with your purifier nonsense.
I will complain about you if you call me again.
One minute. - Hang up now.
Okay, sir. Thank you.
Hello. Good morning, sir.
This is Rajiv calling from PP Purifier, sir.
You...
Good morning, ma’am.
This is Rajiv Chhabra calling from PP Purifier.
I spoke to you yesterday...
No. No. - We drink water from the earthen pot.
I was... - I don’t want it. I don’t want it.
Thank you. Thank you.
(Ring tone)
Yes, Samir. - Rajiv, come fast.
Boss is getting angry.
I am coming. I am on my way.
I am coming. I am coming. I have almost reached.
Sir, please drive faster.
Sir, this is not a plane to fly away.
Amazing! Don’t you have manners?
Don’t you know how to talk?
And why did you stop the car?
There is a jam ahead.
There is no space to move out. I am bound to stop the car.
What nonsense.
Yes, Sameer. - Where are you?
Sameer, I am stuck in a jam at the RTO.
What do I do? - You will lose your job.
No. No. No. Don’t say that Sameer. Please manage.
Leave the car and run on foot.
I am coming. I am coming.
Sir, how much till here?
Here you are. I will walk from here.
Hmm.
Here you are.
And the remaining 20?
They are torn. - I will make do.
Run. You will lose your job for the 20 bucks.
Have tea on my behalf. Go and die.
I will also have snacks.
I will complain about you to Yoyo cabs.
And I won’t even give you stars.
You will lose your rating.
Run. You will lose your job.
Hello, young man.
Hello, uncle.
You look very tired.
Uncle, I am in a huge mess. - What?
Forget it, uncle.
Are you worried about your job?
Uncle, if you don’t mind, may I ask you something?
How old are you?
Have you ever done a private job?
Uncle, you will die at 50.
Private firms suck the life out of you.
On top of that they say, show some energy.
Show some energy.
Have vitamins.
Vitamins, uncle. What vitamins?
Vitamin A is taken by the traffic.
Vitamin B is taken by my boss.
Vitamin C makes a fool of me.
Sunny takes away Vitamin D.
And Sameer takes away my Vitamin E.
What happened?
Uncle, the lift is stuck. I will lose my job.
So, what?
Pakistan and China will attack together.
Will you cry then or fight?
Uncle, we will deal about that when it will happen.
Son, this is an emergency blackout.
Manage the front, soldier. Come on.
Uncle, just shut up.
I am really going to start abusing now. Move.
(Sanskrit prayers)
Hey. - Run. Run.
You had pressed the 3rd floor. You had to go further up.
Uncle, this lift might get stuck again.
I don’t want to risk it.
One should take risks. It is could to take risks, son.
Uncle, why don’t you take risks?
Make this your battlefield. Turn this into your bunker.
You damned scared chicken.
Sorry.
I will message you the address.
One minute. One minute.
Bro, where were you? Bro, where were you?
Forget that. What is boss saying?
Boss is very angry.
He is creating new abuses with your name.
Yell me, if I should go or not?
If you don’t go, you will lose your job for sure.
And if you go there then... - Then?
Go inside, you will find out.
Why are you talking in riddles? Just tell me to go.
Listen to me. Calm down.
Hi, Sonam.
Hi, Rajiv. Why are you so late.
No. Do you know the traffic outside? I have come running.
Now run and go. He is waiting for you.
Sameer, wait for a moment.
You saw that I was speaking to here. One minute.
By the way how is your toothache?
Is it okay? Have you taken any medicines?
Yes, it’s better.
Sameer had got the medicines.
Thanks, bro.
That’s my duty.
Sonam is not your girlfriend after all.
She is my friend too.
You just think anything.
You take care.
I will take care of her.
Go and take care of your job.
Shraddha, just trust me.
You know, I am there.
Your entire life is left.
We will do it together.
As friends.
You moron.
What do I do with you?
How dare you enter without permission?
Sir, you had called me.
Bhaskar.
Yes, sir.
Parrot nosed man.
I have told you so many times not to allow..
..anyone to enter inside without permission.
Go and get some coffee.
And listen.
Get two.
Thank you, sir.
All right.
Will you have coffee?
Inauspicious one.
Not for you.
For madam.
You haven’t sold a single purifier last month.
Sir, I am trying my best.
What can I do if they are not getting sold?
Look at Sameer.
He has sold 42 in 6 months.
He has only got big pumps.
He doesn’t have a lot of guts. - You are correct.
Sir, may I leave?
Sweety, I still need to tell you more things.
Relax.
Yeah.
Now listen carefully.
If you don’t sell at least one purifier till this Friday..
..then I have already got your resignation letter typed.
Got it?
Yes. - Sir, may I leave?
No, you sit. I will leave.
Right, sir? - Yes.
Leave.
Call the customers. Request him.
Beg him. Do anything.
But sell purifiers.
Otherwise if you don’t sell one by Friday..
..I will get you cursed by Saturn on Saturday.
This is enough. Got it.
You cannot talk to me like this.
You know my dad used to talk to my mom like this.
And I didn’t use to like that at all.
I get very angry when someone talks to me like this.
I am going to kill you. Power! Father.
Hey!
You haven’t left yet.
Shall I send you a What’s App?
Sorry, sir.
Sonam, don’t do this.
Then what should I do?
You swore on the Mother Goddess that you won’t cheat.
When did I cheat?
I am telling and leaving.
Who leaves like this?
Then how to do this?
This is how you break up.
I love you.
Rajiv, be practical.
Love is not enough to live.
Couldn’t you tell me about being practical before.
I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you.
So, I am telling you now.
I also need financial security.
Can you give that?
Let me try. I can sell 1 or 2 purifiers.
1 or 2 purifiers won’t make a difference.
Sonam, don’t speak like that.
Anyway, every drop fills the pot, right?
Look, I will become old by the time you pot gets filled.
Sonam, please don’t do this.
Think again. I had all my hopes on you.
Rajiv! You are such a cry baby!
It is not crying. - Enough.
Sonam please. - Enough. Bye.
Sonam.
Gone?
She is angry.
Will she get pacified or not?
My entire life depends on one purifier.
If this gets sold, I am good.
Otherwise I am done for.
You will be very happy today.
The man who has been who has been climbing..
..the stairs to your temple for the last two years.
The one who comes to pay homage to you.
The one who is begging you even today.
He is still here.
The one who couldn’t sell a single purifier.
The one who broke up with his girlfriend.
The one who couldn’t sell a single purifier.
The one who broke up with his girlfriend.
The one who doesn’t even have money to pay rent.
On top of that he is almost about to lose his job.
What should he do?
Is it my fault that I can’t buy Zara sandals for my girlfriend?
Is it my fault that I am innocent?
Just give me back my lost love.
And save my job.
Please turn my Friday into a happy day.
Gunja, have you got the water bottles?
Yes, ma’am.
We have got more water bottles than stuff in the house.
Get a new water purifier.
Oh yes.
Yesterday even Mr. Manchanda came..
..and was making fun about this.
But you know, that we don’t have the time.
My hubby is busy in theater.
And I am busy with NGO work.
Ma’am.
Hmm. - May I say something?
Be careful with your hubby.
Give him some time.
Otherwise he will start spending time elsewhere.
My mom used to say that men are like buckets.
They only need water to get filled.
It can be from the well or the river.
My hubby is not like that.
We had a love marriage.
So, there is no suspicion where there is love.
And my Gagan is unique in the world.
This is the rule of love which is still not within rules.
Usually love is never successful.
But this love might have been successful..
..if it was not between a prince and a maid.
Awesome.
Wife, he acts well.
I had never thought that royalty and servitude..
..will reach such a situation.
I want to kiss this land..
..which..
..introduced me to my love.
I salute the air and the wind here.
Please accept my salutations.
Is this audience bereft of admirers?
There are no whistles or claps.
So, tell me emperor of India.
What punishment have you decided for this lover?
Is there any hope for pardon or not?
The criminals of love are not pardoned..
..they are punished, Sheku.
Shekhu. - Sheku.
Shekhu. Shekhu. Shekhu. Shekhu.
Sheku.
What? Go ahead.
What a cheap Akbar?
He cannot even say Shekhu properly?
Sorry, emperor.
Love is no crime.
It is.
When it doesn’t care about anyone..
..is shameless and out of control. Sheku.
Love is worship for lovers.
They don’t care about all this.
In such a case there is no chance of control..
..and carelessness Jalaluddin Mohammed Akbar.
Sheku.
You must be thinking that the one who always..
..used to call you father is now calling you..
..Jalaluddin Mohammed Akbar
Damn. He forgot the last dialogue.
Sheku, that was my dialogue.
It was. I was hungry.
I ate it like I was having food.
Sheku, how dare you?
Love without daring is nothing.
Sheku.
Don’t use so much effort.
The pressure from your belly will end somewhere else.
And then even the doctor won’t be able to help the emperor.
And the one who won’t clap will be punished by God.
Your punishment is that...
You want to say that I should be made..
..to ride a fair mule or eaten like sweet Paan.
Put me in the cage of tigers or make me fight with bulls.
Don’t eat the dialogues of other characters.
You won’t be able to digest them.
You will have a stomach upset.
I won’t. I know how to turn liquid into solid.
And you are just playing my dad. Don’t try to be my real dad.
I will cut your payment. You won’t get any money, rascal.
Princess, is this how... - One speaks to his father?
Is this what you want to say?
I only had 1.5 dialogues.
You could have spared that.
This is the caste and the religion of a lover.
Lover.
How can spare that?
I will throw this sword and kill him.
Where is my lover.
I want to see her.
Guard, go.
Get Anarkali and bring her to the emperor.
Listen. - Everyone be careful.
Beautiful.
Fresh.
Soft. Very colorful.
Anarkali needs to be produced before the emperor.
Go.
He is spoiling everything.
You have dyed your hair.
Shut up.
My prince.
My love.
I am your... - Anarkali.
Juhikali.
Sheku! Stay within your limits.
I think a lover failed in his love again.
Sheku!
You cannot love Anarkali when I am here.
Fine. You may.
Wow.
Akku. - Sheku.
What, Sheku? Sheku?
Should I listen to you or care about myself?
Punish her and get rid of her.
Anarkali needs to be buried in the wall.
Which wall?
Bathroom wall or kitchen wall?
Mine. - Akku!
Sheku!
You have watched my play 40 times in four months.
Don’t you feel bored?
I come to see you. Not the play.
If you have a plan, then I won’t come from tomorrow.
How can you stop coming?
You will have to come. - Is it?
By the way, I was thinking of acting with you in your play.
It will be fun, right?
You are my inspiration.
Why do you need to act?
You have got an answer to everything. Right?
For you. - Oh.
Sir, order please.
Dear, it’s a restaurant not the court.
You find lovers here not criminals.
Not order. Take a request for a coffee.
Sir, hot?
Don’t add oil to a burning fire?
Get cold coffee.
Okay, sir. Thank you. - Hmm.
I have got a gift for you.
Show me.
Nice choice. Not bad.
And for whom is that for?
I have got that for my wife. - Is it?
Gift for both of us. - Yes, this is loyalty.
So, that you have less feeling of guilt.
So, that there is no guilty feeling at all.
Is it?
Yes, she doesn’t even realize that she had forgotten..
..her husband while she was busy doing social service.
Jagan, I think you are getting naughty.
You never give me a chance, hottie.
Come on.
Okay, I am giving you a chance.
Thank you so much, darling.
Look at this.
Please wear this.
What is this?
This is see through.
The new ideas of husbands nowadays.
Do you accept it?
Gagan. Have you lost your mind?
Yes.
What is there to wear in this?
There is a lot to watch.
Once a week it is a must.
What about Gagan Kapur’s lust?
I am not in the mood.
You are not in the mood?
Should I have a new affair?
Go ahead.
Huh?
Be careful.
You are allowing something you might regret.
By the way, doesn’t you husband get you night suits too?
He gets saris, which I don’t wear.
Where did you find such a man?
I always wanted to be married.
So, I received his alliance when I was in college.
My parents said that he is a policeman.
You will be happy.
So, I got married.
I thought he will be a sexy cop. Hot.
Then?
Forget sexy.
Even my elder uncle looks younger than him.
Bindu. This is your surprise.
So, this is your surprise?
You have got me here to see graves.
Not graves, Bindu.
There are mausoleums.
And these don’t belong to lay people.
These are royal mausoleums.
This is Feroz Shah’s mausoleum.
He was buried here.
You know he got his mausoleum built before his death.
I don’t like this.
Why?
Even I am elder to you.
Gagan.
You are different.
Why? Do I have horns?
Shh. Don’t joke.
I like talking to you a lot.
I like spending time with you.
I feel very energetic with you.
How long will you continue watching the play?
Will you ever complete that screenplay?
Is it? - Yes.
Sir, your bill.
Rascal, meet me outside. - Sorry, sir. Sorry.
Sir, please listen.
No. No.
Bro.
This is too much.
Nothing is going good. - Rajiv sir. What should I get?
Get me some poison.
Why are you joking? Tell me. What should I get?
You have noodles, right? Get some noodles and feed me.
Okay. Anything to drink?
No, just get me some plain water.
No more plain water for you. - Why?
Because from now I will serve you Pavitra water.
From your company.
I got it from Sameer sir, yesterday.
Bunty. - Yes.
Tell me, something.
How much those your noodles cost?
Sir, 40 rupees. But what happened?
And how many do I eat in a month?
Around 20. But what happened?
So how many do I eat in a month.
240. But what happened?
Your noodles cost 40 rupees and I have eaten 240 plates.
Then how much have paid you?
Sir, 9,600. But what happened?
Rascal, if I made you earn 9,600..
..can’t you make me earn 8,000?
Couldn’t you buy the purifier from me?
Sir, calm down. I will get a cold drink.
I don’t want a cold drink. Get lost.
Sir. Sir, don’t get angry. Don’t be cross.
Don’t be cross? I am not cross.
I will get it uninstalled. I will get it uninstalled.
Uninstall it.
Sir, leave it. - Okay, stop.
Sir, Sameer forced us... - Once it gets spoiled..
..then buy the new one from me.
I will get it from you. But Sameer forced me to buy it in half the price.
What can I do?
Today complimentary noodles for you.
Please, sir.
Prepare noodles for sir.
Hello.
Hi.
You look like a salesman.
You are a good observer.
Do you know Manchanda?
No, sir. I haven’t got his number yet.
Meet him quickly.
He will make you confident over the phone.
Manchanda is someone who can point you to your success.
Hail Mother Goddess.
Hail Father God.
Friends, I don’t get rid of your co-wives.
Neither do I teach you to forget your old love.
I am neither a specialist in hypnotism.
I am also not a gold medalist of black magic, etc.
But that thing called money.
What is it called?
Money.
Damn. You will get more if you shout louder.
Money! - Good. Good.
Sir, what will a person with low confidence do here?
Damn.
The one who has lost confidence finds Manchanda.
Who loses it?
A person who is betrayed in love.
The one who gets scolded from the boss..
..and receives an ultimatum.
You also lose it if your friend takes over your business.
At this the face of a person looks like rolled out pastry.
Sir, why are we talking about pastry?
Damn.
Look around you.
Look at yourself.
You are pastry. Rolled and misshapen.
Look. Look.
The way one cannot be Gandhi just by wearing a Dhoti.
The one dancing to ‘Chikni Chameli’ doesn’t become Katrina.
In the same way, a person cannot become a salesman..
..by just wearing formal western clothes.
Hey red headed, purple shirt. Come here.
Wait here. Come here.
I can recognize unsuccessful eyes from afar.
You need it a lot, son.
Do one thing.
Meet me alone.
Okay? Do you understand me?
What is that?
Smile.
That’s it. It is very important to wear a smile.
Whether you wear a tie or not.
You need wear your smile.
Start applying everything that I am telling you immediately.
Are you smiling or crying?
That is how my face is like?
Change it. - My face?
No.
Smile.
Ramsay’s pretty ghost. Correct your lips.
Mosquito.
That’s it. Hold it. Hold it.
Just like this. Sweet and innocent.
Enchant everyone. Just enchant everyone.
How, sir?
I haven’t sold a single purifier.
What is written here?
Ship?
Relationship.
Have you forgotten, crazy guy?
Call the ignorant, intelligent.
Call the fools, wise. The wisest.
Yes.
Start complimenting as soon as you see them.
Nice shirt. Nice shoes.
Nice bag. Nice hair.
Uncle, grandpa, grand dad. Everything.
If she is a girl then say, sister.
Once you have established a relationship..
..your product will get sold.
I can never form relationships, sir.
Even Punam has broken up with me.
You are in love.
Do you have her pic or deleted it?
So nice. Looks like a brand.
What was the last thing she asked for? - Me?
Why will you ask? What did she ask for?
Sandals from Zara.
That’s it.
Become a greater Zara than Zara.
Then watch. The girl will be yours.
The sandal will be yours.
And Zara will be yours too.
You mean I can get Punam?
Punam?
Alia, Padukone.
Even Anushka.
They were right.
If someone holds your finger, just hold on to his shoulder.
Correct.
Act smart. Don’t be over smart.
Too much will create obstacles.
Just use the butter you can eat.
Don’t use more butter than required.
Got it?
Tell me, how much money do you have?
Sir, you are just like God.
No. No. I am not God.
I am a retired salesman.
Always a salesman.
Sir, you said you will also give me a client tip.
I just gave you my last 5000.
Here.
Bela Gagan Kapoor.
They don’t have a purifier.
They served me water in bottles last time.
She had a brother.
He has left now.
Where did he go?
He just went on and on.
So, whenever you call them up or go to their home..
..what will you call yourself?
Gappu. - Correct.
But sir, I am going to sell the first purifier of my life.
And I am starting with a lie.
You have caused a huge problem for me.
Hello, great soul.
Have us seen the 67th episode of the Mahabharata?
No. - What does Arjuna tell Krishna?
They are all my cousins and uncles.
How do I kill them? What did Krishna say?
Just do your work.
Separate work from religion.
This is where you will do your duty.
You will have to do your duty.
Sir, from now I won’t sell a purifier to any of my customers.
Why? - Sir, I will sell..
..purifiers to my relatives.
I will sell purifiers to the entire world.
The entire world will only have my purifiers.
I will make my own mark.
The entire world will have my mark.
Hail the man with the mark.
Hello. You are a salesman.
Don’t become a soldier.
Trying to make marks.
Sir, you don’t know what you have done to me.
You have just recharged me with energy.
Currently my body is engulfed with energy.
Look at my arm. I have got goosebumps.
I have got goosebumps on my legs.
I have got... - Enough. Enough. Enough.
Enough. Enough. Enough.
It is not good, to become naked without any reason.
Call, Bela. Gappu, call Bela.
Come on. Hurry. Call Bela.
Tea. - Very good. Very good.
Have you added lemon? - Yes.
Have you added honey? - Yes, I have.
Cinnamon. - I have added that too.
Good morning, ma’am. Sorry sister. Is this Ms. Bela?
Yes, this is Bela. Who are you?
This is Rajiv, from Pavitra Pani Purifier.
Mr. Manchanda had given me your reference.
You need a purifier at home, right?
We do need a purifier.
But actually the water supply here emits hard water.
Sister, the water of the world has become hard now.
Then make a purifier for the entire world.
The purifier is ready, sister. It just needs to get installed.
You talk nicely. What is your name?
My name is Rajiv. But my pet name is Gappu.
Sister. Hello? Sister, are you there?
Nothing. Even I had a brother, Gappu.
He passed away.
Oh, I am so sorry, sister.
That’s why when I was talking to you..
..I felt like I was talking to my sister.
Listen, come on Monday and install the purifier.
Sister, I have some personal problem on Monday.
Sister, I will be frank with you.
Actually, my boss has given me a deadline till Friday.
I need to sell and install a purifier.
So, if I don’t install it, I will lose my job.
I have a meeting at the Ngo tomorrow.
And even my husband won’t be at home.
And I am going to Shimla the next day.
Oh, so sister, what should we do now?
Okay listen.
Come the day after tomorrow. On Friday.
I won’t be there. But my husband will be home.
Tell him, that I have sent you.
And you can come and install the purifier.
Perfect, sister. That is great.
Tell brother-in-law, that Gappu will come..
..and install the purifier.
I will go and fit everything well, sister.
And once you are back, I want to meet you, sister.
And I want you to tie me a Rakhi this time.
For sure. - Okay, Rajiv.
Sis, I am Rajiv for strangers.
You can call me Gappu.
And your brother will fight with the world for you.
Don’t worry. And sis, you are going to Shimla.
It is very cold there. Take warm covers.
Be careful of the cold.
You take care and have a great journey, sis.
All the best.
Okay, Gappu. Thank you.
Bye, sis. Bye.
Hello. Hey. Where are you going?
Tomorrow our NGO has a medical camp in Shimla.
I need to leave in the morning.
You don’t even tell me.
We are not able to give time to each other nowadays.
For us to discuss anything.
Go to sleep. Good night.
Oh no.
I need to wake up early in the morning.
Wow! Blue color T-shirt.
What a nice color. I mean it is my favorite color.
Forget me. Even my sister’s favorite color is blue.
And even you are like my sister.
Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro.
You remember that you need to pay rent in 2 days?
Sandi, don’t bother me. Today is Friday.
If I don’t sell a purifier today I will get sacked.
And lose Punam too.
You lost Punam?
Why haven’t you told me?
Let’s get some beer. Party. We will have fun.
Are you mad?
Have you lost your mind?
Anyway, you don’t deserve Punam.
You used to go around with a babe, bro.
And we used to face the inconvenience.
My hands would... I mean my heart used to be in pain.
Listen. She is your sister-in-law.
Hey! Hey!
Hello, sir. A very sweet good morning.
No need to be so sweet. Speak.
Sir, firstly this shirt is very nice.
It looks so good on you.
You look very young and smart.
Really? - Yes, sir.
Sir, you look like a very successful businessman.
Is it?
And I wanted to tell you that I am going to install..
..a purifier today.
Yes.
Make sure you do.
You have got one day left.
Nothing is impossible.
If you believe in yourself, then purifier is nothing.
If Bhagirath can bring Ganga from heaven..
..then can’t Rajiv Chabbra sell purifiers?
You have become very wise in a single day.
Have you got along with any religious men?
No, sir. This is enlightenment.
Okay, sir. I will take your leave.
And I will come back with the check.
Yes, make sure you get the check.
Otherwise the enlightenment will get extinguished.
Don’t worry about it, sir.
You have a very nice day. And I will see you in the evening.
Sir, can I get you coffee?
Bhaskar. Get a milk coffee for sir.
See you, sir.
What just happened?
What happened? You look very happy.
It is necessary to wear a smile.
Even if you don’t wear a tie or not.
What? - Good day.
What is wrong with him?
Take care of yourself. I will come tomorrow.
Are you sure that you will only come tomorrow?
What do you mean?
I mean, take your own time darling.
And if you get a hiccup, then it’s me who is missing you.
So cute.
Listen, take care of the house.
And rehearse well for the show.
I will rehearse like I have never done before.
Bye. - Bye.
You go. And she will come.
She will come. And we will do it.
Sunny.
Come to C42 in Greater Kailash.
Yes, bro. Don’t be late.
I am selling my purifier after a long time after many hardships.
How romantic.
Don’t just watch the maiden with the beautiful eyes.
Start making love.
Don’t think so much.
You talk so interestingly. - I even do interesting work.
Just allow me.
Gagan, I am thirsty. Get me some water.
Should I serve you with my eyes. Or my lips?
If you want I will become a pot and serve you water.
Wow.
You love me so much?
So much, that there is water in the ocean.
Love like Romeo. I promise.
Where is the water?
From the sea to the bottle.
Purifier is broken. Need to have it replaced.
Okay.
Is your thirst quenched?
Yes. - But not mine.
Gagan, are we doing something wrong?
One must do such thing when young.
Otherwise what sins will we repent for when we are old?
All right.
Isn’t that good?
Me too.
(bell ringing)
Is it your wife?
She said that she will come tomorrow not today.
She can’t break my trust.
Who is it now?
Hey, two wheeler. Why are you charging inside?
I have always charges like this since years.
But you have never stopped me.
But you have come at the wrong time today.
This is not right.
Sir, I have come at the right time.
Look, its 10 o’clock. - But today is your holiday.
Go and have fun. - I already had fun yesterday.
So, I won’t take a holiday today.
Ma’am will scold me if I don’t clean up.
I will see to the cleaning.
Sir, I need to water the plants. - Leave that to me.
Sir, I need to wash clothes. - Leave that to me.
So, kind?
I am sure there is some secret.
Devil’s granny.
The royal servant.
What will do I at home now?
Celebrate some festival.
If there was some festival today..
..I would have been decked up. - Then celebrate Diwali.
If it was Diwali I would have been a bomb today.
Then celebrate your birthday. - That’s gone now.
Then celebrate your kid’s birthday. - It is around the corner.
Good. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave.
Bindu.
The one who had come has left.
But you should come outside.
Bindu.
Come outside.
Bindu.
What is this, Bindu?
That’s my arm.
That is what keeps me together.
And what is this Bindu?
My legs.
They are no strangers.
What is this Bindu.
My waist.
I was looking at that only.
What is this Bindu?
My cheek.
They are just gorgeous.
You are just gorgeous.
If you are done playing hide and seek then...
(Bell ringing)
Is this your wife?
I told you.
She can’t break my trust.
Go and hide.
Hello, sir. I am Honey.
So, shall I lick?
No, sir. My name is Honey.
Then tell me that.
Sir, we are from the Pulse Polio program.
Do you have any small kid in your house?
Give me a chance. And I will have many kids.
Sir, I am already married.
But yes, she is a spinster.
Hey, will you give him a chance. Oh no. Manoj will feel bad.
Let Manoj feel bad.
And you can get remarried.
And please leave me alone.
Bindu.
Bindu. Come outside.
Bindu.
One cannot make love by hiding inside the curtains.
To make love you need a man’s chest, strong arms..
..and the heart of a lady.
Bindu.
Bindu, shall I close my eyes?
I cannot look away from your face.
How can I see the scenery?
Hey!
Who are you?
Guess.
Thief?
Not a thief. Stealer of hearts.
Why have you come here?
To wait.
For whom?
For a chance.
Chance?
I don’t understand.
Chance to steal.
Meanwhile you are taking full advantage of your opportunity.
How much have you seen?
Everything.
What do you mean?
Each and every scene.
Me?
She?
In spite of being a thief you are behaving..
..as if I am the thief and you are the master.
Have you got any tools?
Only mobile.
Oh yeah. - Yes.
Shall I call the police?
Of course. Why not?
Call the police.
I think you don’t know much about Delhi police.
They will investigate one and create files for three.
Take this.
Dial 100.
Maybe besides me they will find a thief here.
A thug. A party goer.
A cheat.
And a betrayer.
Everyone will be amazed.
2 free with 1.
Gagan, please.
No police please.
Then call the army. - Huh?
Call CID Pradyuman Singh.
ACP.
Nothing of that sort will happen.
Everything will happen as per your wish.
All thieves are brothers.
You are my younger brother.
I am your elder brother.
Elder?
One moment.
How old are you?
Oh.
I am little older. I am 44.
Oh. - Oh.
I am the elder.
You are the younger.
Fine. Fine.
Just take whatever you want. - No.
Just steal whatever you want to. - Thank you.
Consider this your home. - Gagan.
Stealing at your own home? Very bad.
Call the police. - No. No. No. No.
Why are you listening to her? Please. Just do your work.
Okay? - Yes. Go and steal.
Thank you. - Good luck.
Please, nobody disturb me.
I am proud of you.
Thanks. - Go.
Gagan.
Hmm.
(Bell ringing)
Hide in the bathroom.
What?
Are you crazy! What if the thief came?
He is a thief not a plumber to get inside the bathroom.
But I am scared.
So, am I enjoying here? Even I am scared.
Gagan. - Please.
(Bell ringing.)
Coming.
Who are you, bro?
Brother. - But whose?
Sister Bela’s brother.
So, I am your brother-in-law.
Bela’s cousin has already passed away.
When were you born?
Gappu. Same thing... - This is not done.
Who are you?
Sorry, you are my brother-in-law. So, I need to touch your feet.
Have you forgotten where my feet are?
Either you bow down or I will bring my feet up.
It’s a good joke. So funny... - It’s not so funny.
Who are you? Explain.
- Actually, sister Bela called.
She was talking to me.
And then I found out that your purifier is broken.
So, I said that I will install a new one.
Anyway, I can never refuse sis Bela.
Bela called you?
Yes.
Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself.
Hi, I am Rajiv Chabbra. I am calling from..
I mean I am not calling from...
I am from PP Purifier.
And that stands for Pavitra Pani Purifier.
You know our RO technology is very modern.
With 20liters of water storage.
Plus 80 liters of water storage for the bathroom.
Do you know what the best thing about our water purifiers?
Brother-in-law, the thing is the lights won’t glow..
..if you are not using water.
Because your home is like our home. It’s the same.
By the way, brother-in-law, what a nice T shirt.
Maroon.
Must be sister’s choice.
Hey! Keep your sister safe with you.
otherwise I will hang you with your tie from the terrace.
And people will ring your bell.
What are you staring at?
Your phone is ringing. It might be Bela.
Yes Sunny, where are you?
I told you to come to greater Kailash.
Why are you in Kailashdham? Are you mad?
I sent you the location.
Hey. - I will pay the extra. Hurry up now.
Whom are you calling without asking me?
It is Sunny, brother-in-law. He drills holes.
What brother-in-law... - One moment.
Brother-in-law ship is a very two faced relationship.
Like head and tails. Anil Kapoor and Mr. India.
Modi and his friends. All are the same.
Hey you stupid moron. Unwanted insect.
Are you leaving, or shall I throw you out?
Brother-in-law! How?
How? I mean how do you do that? - But what do I do?
You are insulting me better than..
..anyone has ever praised me.
How can you be happy with insults?
Skinless hippo. Courtyard without a terrace.
If you use your sales tactics anymore..
..that I will punch you so hard..
..that you will break down into your primary elements.
Get out from here. Get out.
Get out.
The world is wrong.
The wife’s brother is more than the entire creation.
You are not letting me do what I want to.
I had already filled the form.
I was about to sign it when you came in with your face.
No. No. No. No. No. Not my nose. I have a cold.
Hey. You don’t have cold.
Hey! You haven’t even moved your mouth.
Where did the sound come from?
God bless you.
Thank you.
I think you care cleaning up.
Full clean. - Why do you care what is going on?
Get out from here. Leave.
Brother-in-law, this is wrong.
How can you insult me in front of a servant?
You trespasser. Unwanted creep.
I have been insulting since you have come.
And you have understood it now. You...
You can resume your work.
Am I disturbing you?
Please do it.
Come on. Get out.
I can’t understand how can my sweet sister..
..have such a cruel husband?
If you can’t understand, then don’t.
Brother-in-law, you are just talking like my papa.
This is how my papa used to speak to my mom.
He used to scold her so much.
Hey!
Brother-in-law, sis is home and you haven’t even told me.
Sister. Sis!
By the way, Brother-in-law.
How can you be so romantic so early in the morning?
The way your dad used to.
You are just like a boiled egg.
Hard from the outside. Soft from the inside.
And even softer when we delve deeper inside.
And you are like omelet which is stuck on all sides.
There is only some yolk in the middle.
You are so funny, Brother-in-law.
It is not so funny.
I am very happy today that my sister..
..is in such a safe and secure environment.
I mean, thank god, that you are not like my papa.
Your papa lost his control and gave birth to this problem.
I will never...
Sister! Sister! You are inside?
Hey. Why are you going inside?
You... - Sister!
Bull shit.
Sister, open the door. Sister. - Open. Open. Open.
Gagan. - What?
There is a rat.
You were so scared that I thought..
..it was a rapist and not a rat.
Hello sister Bela.
Who is this?
Sis, I am Gappu. I spoke to you over the phone.
How did you know that she is Bela?
You have never met her before.
Obviously, she is hugging you, so she is bound to be Bela.
Huh? Yes.
Sis, greetings.
I wanted to thank you.
Everything has turned good, because of you.
You are so nice and so good. She has saved my job.
But you had left for Shimla.
Why are you back suddenly?
Gagan explain.
Yes, she left. But then she missed me.
She returned.
Mind your own business. Why do you care?
That’s cool. One moment.
Yes, Sunny. Where are you?
What is this? - She thinks you are Bela.
So, continue with the charade. Otherwise there will be a problem.
What is this nonsense? I am leaving.
People are all thirsty here. Come fast, Sunny.
Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. - Hey. What are you doing?
This is not done. - Sis, what happened? Any problem?
No, brother, there is no problem. Go and install the purifier.
No. No. No. No. Big problem. Hello, leave that place.
Brother-in-law, I need to install the purifier today.
Please go home. - I have spoken to sister.
What is he doing? - That I will install the purifier.
Don’t touch me. He will install it and leave.
How can he do that? You are asking him to install the purifier.
If he stays back to install the purifier what will we install?
He is going to install the purifier?
You called him inside.
And now you are shouting at me. Don’t behave like my husband.
What? - Hey! Husband! Sis... What...
I am her husband.
How is this your business? Get out.
But why are you fighting with me in front of him?
You are fighting with me in front of him.
Hey! Why are you both fighting in front of me?
Why do you care? This is my house.
My wife. I can do whatever I want to.
Stop. Get out.
My sister won’t go anywhere.
Brother-in-law, you are behaving..
..like my papa. - Papa?
Even my papa used to talk like this to my mom.
Mom?
You are too much. I am going to teach you a lesson now.
I cannot see my mom in trouble.
Hey! That is a sharp one. It might wound someone.
Dad! - Mom!
Stop!
What is going on?
Look at him? Who hits a person like him?
Should I give him the knife instead?
I will get you now. - Hey.
I will get you now. - He is mad.
What are you doing?
Hey. Hey. Hey.
You cannot do this.
Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother.
Let him go. He is your Brother-in-law.
Sorry.
Sorry, sister. Sister, I am really sorry.
I don’t know what had happened to me.
That all right.
Everything will be fine now.
Once Pavitra Pani is installed in this house..
..everything will get fine anyway.
This is all psychological. This is not emotional.
I mean... - Brother, it is something else.
You don’t understand. - He won’t understand either.
Pavitra Pani! Get out of here.
Otherwise I will stab you so hard that you will die for sure.
Hey you. - What?
Get out.
Bindu. Get out. - Bindu or Bela?
Shut up. How does that matter?
I will call her whatever I want to.
I address her as Bindu. How does that matter to you?
This is the problem.
If you address sister with new names..
..then I am bound to face problems.
That is the case.
What the hell do you have to do here?
Get out. Hey! Get out.
Otherwise I will kill you. - Kill me.
Kill me. Kill me. Finish me off.
I am becoming crazy.
I cannot see my sister’s home getting broken.
I can even die for my sister. Kill me.
Kill me. Kill me. - No.
Do you know how he will die? - No.
Like this? Or like this?
Excuse me.
I have done my job.
There is a lot of stuff in the house and I need a tempo.
Please, someone help me.
What is this?
This is a water purifier.
Mine is broken.
Take it with you.
Very good.
What is going on, sir? I mean, what is going on?
Brother-in-law, who is this man?
Is he a cleaner or a thief? How can you just take it?
It is not your rule. How can you take it?
Shut up. Bull shit. Just shut up.
Why are you disturbing when 2 great thieves are compromising?
What did you say? Who is she to you?
Sister.
What is your plan? - No, please.
Shall I tell him that you both belong to other people?
Hey!
He is just an innocent child.
He doesn’t even understand what the situation is.
You can understand the situation well.
So, just take this entire file. And fire away.
My God. - Sit. Sit.
First tell me, who are you?
I am Birju Kalia, corporate thief.
I don’t hide and steal.
That’s why I am not scared of the home owners.
Brother-in-law, your pride is dead.
Yours is alive? - Yes.
Then you kill him. - What are you doing?
He is cracked. How can you give him orders?
Crack!
Thief!
(unintelligible abuses)
Let me go.
Not my pant.
What are you doing? Let him go.
What are you doing?
Let go of my hand. Let go of my hand.
Thief, let go of my hand.
You.
Hands up! - Sorry.
Hands up! - Hey.
Hands up!
Shut up.
Hands up!
Go ahead. Take this.
This...
It is fake.
Cheating.
I surrender.
We will print your calendar.
Oh God!
Has he fainted or is he dead?
You get sentenced for 14 years and break rocks too.
Shut up. Check his breathing.
I don’t think he is breathing.
Give him mouth to mouth.
What are you saying?
Did you notice his mouth? He chews tobacco.
Sister, you do it.
What nonsense.
Don’t you love Bindu?
Bindu or Bela?
If you don’t mind, can you?
Gagan! - One moment. Stop fighting.
Sis, only for you.
(Bell ringing)
Who has come?
I will go and check. - Sir.
We need to take care of him too.
I haven’t done all this before. - You think I have graduated in this?
Lift him.
Stay here.
I will go and check outside.
What?
You took so much time to open the door.
This is a door, not your zipper.
You don’t just unzip it in a go.
What do you want?
Sir, I think you were doing something important.
Yes.
I had caught a dacoit.
I was taking care of his corpse.
Good joke, sir.
This courier is for Ms. Bela Kapur.
Can you call her?
She has gone outside. Give.
Sir, I know a lot about you.
Is it? - Yes.
Are you some scholar?
I have seen your play which you have enacted 150 times.
Fine.
Can I take a selfie with you?
Not now. Later.
Please. - Okay, fine.
No pout, please.
Please. - Nice idea.
No look, sir.
Hey.
Can you see that golden crow?
I have only seen black crows.
Scat!
Who was it? - Courier.
Brother-in-law, who is this?
Since you have asked me.
So, take it.
This is my wife.
Puja.
Then who is she?
No, this is my first wife.
I met her a few days back.
But where is she?
Have you ever gone to the Kumbh fair?
No, but I have heard that people often get lost there.
I also lost Puja at the Kumbh fair.
So, didn’t you look for her?
A lot.
But I couldn’t find Puja.
That’s why you call sister Bela with different girl names.
Yes.
And this is how sister Bela entered your life.
Brother-in-law. - Hmm.
Brother-in-law. - What?
I was thinking of getting in with someone after Punam.
Go ahead but leave me alone.
Sister Bela and you. Please shake hands.
Shake hands. Hold each others’ hands.
Now hug each other.
Please, do.
Hug.
Gagan.
Hey you.
Smoking in front of the hospital?
My wife is sick. She is inside.
What happened to her?
Female disease.
It is so expensive... - How much is this cigarette for?
10 rupees. - 10 rupees!
And how many more do you have?
One more. - You have got money to die.
But you don’t have money to save your wife from death.
What nonsense?
Look. It says it causes death.
And this sanitary pad gives life.
Don’t laugh.
Price of two cigarettes get you these sanitary pads..
..which could have saved your wife from this dreadful..
..disease that is caused because of using..
..dirty clothes during menstruation.
And if you don’t smoke you can also save yourself..
..from dangerous diseases.
That means you can buy two lives with the money..
..you have been buying death with.
One for you and another for your wife.
Think about it and smile.
Heroism is not in smoking.
It is in giving this.
Gagan!
Sister!
Brother-in-law, sister is back from the fair.
What fair?
Kumbh Fair.
Shut up.
Gagan, who is this girl?
Who are you?
Shall I tell her? - No. Please.
I will explain.
You came.
And you saw us both stuck together.
So, you thought that this is it...
Hmm.
And not it is proven.
No wife can see her husband in another lady’s arms.
This is no betrayal. This is just an optical illusion, lady.
Forget it.
I asked you, who is this girl.
Good question. Wow!
(Sanskrit)
What do you mean?
I mean even god doesn’t know the character..
..of a lady and the fate of a man.
Then how will human know?
I am asking you, who is this girl.
Her.
She is someone’s daughter.
Someone’s future daughter-in-law.
And...
She is a sister. - Hey!
Who is this girl?
Her.
She is his wife.
Why don’t you speak?
I am speechless.
No, you have to give a big speech.
She is your wife.
What will he say?
I will tell you.
He doesn’t tell anything since we have got married.
Look at him moving away.
Bela, everything was good while we were having an affair.
After that, I don’t know what has happened.
I don’t know where he is lost.
You know, he gets milk, when I ask him for juice.
He gets curd when I ask him to get milk.
And he gets Paneer when I ask him to get curd.
I don’t know anything.
Tell me, what should I do now, sister?
Hello, who are you?
Hmm. - Tell her.
Greetings, sister.
Sister, I am from PP purifier. To install a purifier.
We spoke over the phone. Gappu.
Yes. Okay, you are Gappu.
You have come to install the purifier.
Why is your wife here?
Why?
Why did she come?
- Because he was not coming.
Why were you not coming?
Why should I come?
You know she fights with me a lot.
Sis, she had not even given me breakfast.
Why don’t you serve him breakfast?
He has become so thin.
I was angry with him.
Why do you make her angry?
Shall I tell you all my home truths?
She came along.
You tell me. You had called her up.
Me? - Gagan. Did you call his wife?
He had come to install the purifier.
So I said, no, get out.
But Bela told me to come.
His name is Gappu.
I became emotional.
You know how actors are like.
You are emotional.
I said, if you are here to that.
Wow.
Gagan. - Yes.
He came to install the purifier.
Why did you call his wife?
He was quarreling with her over the phone.
Shall I go do my job or stay at home with you?
So, I said that you are married. You need to do your duty.
Like me.
What is this?
And she was calling him repeatedly.
Come home. Come home. Come home.
Hey! Why were you calling him?
Because it is our anniversary today.
But even today he left me alone and came to work.
Sit.
Who does this, sister?
I am so sorry. I am so sorry.
Is it your anniversary?
Happy wedding anniversary.
So sorry.
It’s your anniversary and he had to come here.
But for whom does a husband earn?
For his wife, right?
And don’t be angry with him.
Don’t make him angry either.
What?
Nothing at all. You are correct.
Another thing.
Why were you hugging her?
Bela.
You are suspicious of your Gagan.
Suspicion is a termite which eats up a body, mind..
..and the entire family.
Gagan, I am sorry.
I am so sorry.
Please forgive me. I suspected you. But...
It is not your mistake.
The wives who love their husbands a lot are suspicious.
And I will never forget your love.
I love you.
But you had left for Shimla.
How come you are back home?
Oh. I was driving the car and talking over the phone.
An auto came in front of me.
While trying to save him, I crashed into a tempo.
He is waiting for me.
I need to take my driving license and RC.
You had an accident.
Are you hurt?
No, I am fine.
I am fine.
Please help me. Look here. I will find inside.
Okay. - Gappu. Bindu. Just feel at home.
Brother-in-law. - What?
Brother-in-law, I am ashamed to call you Brother-in-law.
How can you do this? How can you ruin my sister?
You are a big cheat.
You cannot even be honest and... - Shh.
Gagan. Gagan. - Yes.
I need to leave. It is so late.
What will my husband think? - Husband?
You are married?
What is happening here?
What is the angle? - This is not an angle.
This is a love triangle.
How will you understand if you don’t grow up?
What is going on?
Instead of watching all this I could go to Himachal.
Okay, I will drop you.
I don’t care who wants to go where. I am going home.
How can you go?
What will I tell her, when she will return?
Let her leave, after that you can leave too.
I will tell Bela everything. - Hey.
Where should I go?
- Bathroom.
Then go over me.
How do you do all this?
How can I not do it?
Have you seen the 67th episode of the Mahabharata?
You have seen it too? - Everyone has seen it.
She is your sister Bela.
Sister Bela.
I will buy 5 purifiers from you.
But don’t destroy your sister Bela’s home.
Brother-in-law, you have messed up four lives.
(Bell ringing)
I don’t know who has come now.
Please go and see.
My love. I have come.
Forget it. Are you doing a favor on me?
Then why did you call me?
You were 45 minutes late.
You are always on time for Sameer.
Don’t be angry.
Looks like a well-to-do client.
We will just do our work quietly, drill in and leave.
They are rich people. They might feel bad.
Go.
Sunny, this is my Brother-in-law. And this is my sister.
Brother-in-law and sister.
Brother-in-law, this is Sunny, my drilling friend.
You know we have the same terrace.
And he drills for all the purifiers we install.
Don’t laugh. We need to install 5 purifiers here.
Brother-in-law, please confirm. - Why 5. I will get 15.
Not only in Bela’s office.
I will also have them installed at her NGO.
Hey. You were from Himachal.
You had small dreams. Small needs.
Now you have a small friend.
What other small things do you have?
Now, I am Delhi.
Here they are big flats. Big houses.
Big loaves of bread.
Just think what my wife will do to you once she comes out.
Who is it?
This small man has come to drill the walls.
Go and find the license. I am looking for them here.
The drilling man is here.
Brother Gappu. - Gappu?
Install the purifier now.
And then you should go out with your lovely wife.
After all it is your anniversary today.
So, celebrate it. Watch movies.
Huh?
I will get it installed in 2 minutes. - Listen, sister.
Come on. Come inside.
Work fast. Get the equipment out.
What happened, Sunny?
You didn’t even tell me about what has happened.
Your sister and Brother-in-law are so rich.
Shut up, Sunny. Just shut up.
Sunny, we will sit and talk.
It is a long story. Why to discuss that now?
The story is bound to be long.
After all you have got married.
You got estranged from me in two minutes.
What are you saying, Sunny?
You are my brother.
How can I get estranged from you?
And I am telling you. We will sit and talk everything nicely.
Meanwhile please get the machine and finish your work.
Please.
Now? - God.
No. We are doing something bad and you are blaming God.
You... I need to leave. - How can you leave?
Bela will become suspicious.
You only think about yourself, right Gagan?
I am worried about you too.
And in such a moment..
..you should have been with me.
But instead you are moving away from me.
That innocent Brother-in-law is better than you.
He is lying for me so much.
And Bindu you?
You are avoiding Gagan.
Gagan.
Why were you hugging her now?
Can’t a person hug each other?
After all there is something called humanity.
Okay tell me, who is that lady in pink.
She is my sister.
Sister.
And the one in a sari?
She is my elder sister.
Elder sister.
Bro, it’s the same thing.
This is the confusion. One minute. One minute. One minute.
Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro, wait.
You are asking me, what is love?
What can I say?
I don’t know anything about love.
I am a simple man. Like a cow.
And you are arguing with me.
I said..
..Bela is great.
She can make you understand.
She is Gappu’s wife.
Bindu.
Your sister and your elder sister.
Then why was your elder sister..
..calling your sister your wife?
Don’t screw with my mind.
We have come to work here. Let us do that.
Get the drill machine and drill. What are you doing, Sunny?
Please go and check on the purifier.
I will talk to her for some time.
Go.
Bindu. - Yes.
You can...
You can share your problems with me.
You are doing something wicked, bro.
I will go and ask sister-in-law. - What? This is just...
Have you come to drill here or to lie around?
One minute, Gappu. She is chatting with her.
She might spill the beans. Go and serve them water.
How can I serve water?
It’s your wife and sister.
So, you will be the one serving water.
Sister-wife.
Mind your business.
I mean I can solve your problem.
There is no problem. This is personal.
Just do your work.
No, I was saying... - We are having a drama here.
Why are you messing it up as a new character?
Don’t get into all this. Just do your work.
Brother-in-law, the fire you have started outside..
..they won’t get extinguished by this water.
Women are very soft hearted.
Their thirst gets quenched even with water served with love.
Where do you get such ideas?
From here.
I am feeling very strange.
I suddenly came here in anger.
I don’t know what you and my husband..
..might be thinking about me.
Frankly, Bindu.
When I met you, I felt like I am meeting my younger sister.
What is it now?
What is it?
Brother-in-law, actually I wanted to speak to you.
Speak.
Brother-in-law, I was saying that don’t deal with this moron.
He is very inauspicious.
He spreads inauspiciousness wherever he goes.
I suggest you let him install only one purifier.
And the rest?
And the rest. This is Sameer. Buy from him.
He will give them to you at half the price.
With no tax and GST.
Smart boy.
Blessings. - Not yet.
You deserve it.
Yes.
Sister, have you found your license?
I don’t know where my license is hiding.
I am not able to find it anywhere else.
Sit with him. I will find the license.
Yes, Sunny.
Rajiv has made a huge deal here.
What are you saying?
He is installing 5 purifiers in a single house.
Then what are you doing there?
Bro, I have done my job.
I have given your card to the owner. Yes.
If you want shall I ruin the rascal’s business?
Go ahead. Do it. Do it. Do it.
Then consider it to be done. All right. Bye.
I had come to install a purifier.
Now, I am taking care of corpses.
What are you making me do, Brother-in-law?
Yes. What is going on?
Even I am sacred now.
Do you think I am a professional killer?
I didn’t think. And he died.
Why did you even hit him?
He was done for as it is.
Hello. We were not having a pillow fight.
Yes, but he died because you hit him with a mace.
I have heard that if a man dies before his time..
..then his soul haunts the house. - Huh!
Ghost! - Ghost!
You haven’t died?
I don’t die. I am immortal.
Sorry. Come again.
I am immortal.
Brother-in-law, we left him for dead.
How did he become alive?
How can you be alive when you was dead?
No one can kill a person protected by God.
Just chill.
Gagan.
Who are you?
Guess.
My uncle.
He lost it in childhood.
And now he dropped in suddenly.
Greetings, uncle.
Bath with milk. And have lot of kids.
That’s his style.
She has got a lot of values.
How did you forget your values?
What is left to do?
What uncle?
Humpty Dumpty.
You are his brother-in-law. And she is your sister.
What are you saying?
I am his wife.
God bless all.
So, what do you do, uncle?
Cleaning homes.
Uncle, how did you get hurt here?
But how did you get hurt?
Daughter-in-law, as soon as I entered Delhi..
..a few local goons attacked me.
Oh.
And they stole my purse.
They beat me a lot.
I fought back till death.
But he still didn’t die.
Still they put me in a coffin.
He came out from there.
Wow! You are so brave.
Yes.
But when did you come?
I came yesterday... - No, he came today.
He came as soon as you left.
All right. All right.
But I didn’t see you anywhere.
Not even us.
How will you see them?
He was getting refreshed in the guest room.
He just took a bath.
Daughter-in-law, if you now believe that I am your uncle..
..then may I have some snack?
I am so sorry. I will get something.
Guys.
You are playing with fire.
You liar.
And you upcoming liar.
But God will not admire.
Hello?
I have a fire below.
What to do about it?
Jewelry.
The one inside the bed?
Try it.
I won’t allow you to leave.
Daughter-in-law.
There.
Here you are, uncle.
Thank you.
Cheers.
Done.
Okay.
All right, dear.
I will take your leave now.
Uncle, what’s the hurry?
Stay with us for a few days. Talk to us.
Sure. - No.
He has got a lot of work to do. - He is too busy.
Come.
Do you have any money?
Gagan.
Please. - Oh yes.
You lost your purse.
Thank you.
I will return it. Next time.
You are coming again?
Listen.
Get my bags.
Uncle, do visit often.
And do bring aunt along next time.
Dear, actually she is no more like my wife.
I am so sorry.
No problem.
As soon as I find one, I will get her.
By the way, what do you do, dear?
I work in an NGO.
Oh. - I help women.
Very good.
Actually, even I want to open an NGO.
How much is needed to open an NGO?
I will come again. Soon.
(sings)
Your uncle was nice.
It would have been great if he had stayed longer.
I can understand your feelings.
Have you found your license and RC?
Oh my. I will forget my license and RC in all this.
I don’t know where are they.
Brother-in-law, I am confused.
Why did you make him your uncle?
Why not some other relation?
The word uncle is very confusing.
Uncle. Did you get it?
No. - Even the best couldn’t.
You should be awarded globally for fooling people and lying.
I need a national award first.
This one has left.
Now first get out the bad luck which has gone inside.
Sunny. What happened?
Oh my.
You could have checked before opening.
How would I know that you were...
Why haven’t you drilled in yet?
When will you fit the machine?
I was about to install it but now I can’t find the nuts, etc.
Where are the nuts and bolts?
Are you mad? Did you check before leaving?
Did you get them?
Sunny, did you get them or not?
Why won’t I get them along? Am I mad?
Then where did they go? On a stroll. Where are the nuts and bolts?
I mean they are so necessary.
How can they just vanish?
Why are you shouting at me? - I am bound to shout at you.
I am about to lose my job and you are messing up.
How can you do that? Inauspicious!
I am inauspicious? - What else?
You are inauspicious.
You are like the darkness of night. You are in Delhi because of me.
I pay the rent too.
How will pay the rent? How will pay the rent?
If I don’t install this purifier then boss will sack me tomorrow.
I was a fool to call a rascal like you.
Rascal?
I am a rascal, right? - What else?
You can install it on your own now.
Go. You can leave. I can manage. - Yes. Fine.
Hey! You are lying down again.
What is this?
Have you come to install a purifier or to do body building?
What happened to you?
Brother-in-law, he has not installed the purifier yet.
Why not?
I am not able to find the bolts, Brother-in-law.
I told him several times.
I don’t why he lose his nuts and bolts when I need him.
He always places obstacles on my way.
He does nothing.
But he makes me throw parties of beer and chicken...
I don’t want your party. - Hush.
Harassing a decent man.
I saw your jackal like eyes and owl-like eyes and understood.
You always spoil things.
And you are giving him work and he is spoiling your work.
Brother-in-law, I don’t understand.
Here. Look at this.
He said, I need to buy one purifier from you.
And remaining 4 will be installed by him.
You regard him as family.
And he thinks you are inauspicious.
Sunny, I thought you were my bro.
And you...
Amazing.
Last time I went to Himachal I got you..
..a Himachali cap. Why?
Because you are my bro.
Hey.
Remember, you were suffering from dengue.
You had dengue. Who gave you blood?
I did. Why?
Because you are my bro.
You are after the 2000 rupees.
I don’t know how many parties I have thrown you in 2 years.
Why?
Because you are my bro.
You are cheating your bro for your beer and commission.
Sorry, bro.
I am really ashamed.
Sorry. I made a mistake, bro.
Do you want to go for a movie?
Which one?
The Kung Fu Panda.
Yes, let’s go. - In 3D.
Yes, Sunny. Speak.
Not Sunny. This is your dad.
Got it?
Sunny, have you lost your mind?
Garbage, you are just useless.
Corrupted man.
Commission monger.
In spite of being with a nice man like Rajiv..
..you still remained a poisonous snake.
You will die and go directly to hell.
Yamraj will get you beaten a lot.
Got it?
Next time we meet. Next time.
I will slap you so hard.
Hang up now. Get lost. Hang up.
Hey.
Okay. Fine. Bye. Bye.
I have got one burden left. Let me get rid of that.
Bro, hit me.
No, bro. What are you saying?
No, hit me. Bro, hit me.
No, this is enough. Sunny, this is enough.
Brother-in-law, please hit me.
I won’t. You are a puny man.
If you die, there will be a new case.
Brother-in-law, you are under the oath of your wife.
Don’t do that.
Rascal.
Just watch.
Both of us brothers will install Pavitra Pani..
..in the entire world.
And from now on, I won’t make any more mess.
I promise.
(bell ringing) Someone has come to make a mess.
Move.
Bro, go and finish your job.
This is not a house, but a temple.
Everyone is ringing the bell here, but me.
Brother-in-law, why are you not opening the door?
Who is it? What happened, Gagan?
Who has come now?
Your husband has come.
Husband.
What will I do now? If he asked me what I am...
Brother-in-law, can’t we hide her? - How can you?
He must have seen my bike outside.
He is a policeman. Very suspicious.
Damn, why did I come here today to install a purifier?
I would have preferred to be sacked.
Sir, you are a genius. Think of something.
If Bela finds out that you are not his but mine..
..then I am done for.
And if your husband find out that you are mine..
..then we are done for.
I am thinking of..
..what to make you now. - No. No. No. No. No. Brother-in-law.
Brother-in-law, I have become her fake husband..
..for sister Bela.
But I won’t be her fake husband..
..in front of her real husband.
Because if her real husband found out..
..that I am her fake husband..
..then brother-in-law, he is a policeman.
He can beat a monkey till he accepts that he is a bear.
I don’t want to be any one’s brother, husband and brother-in-law.
What happened? Why are you all standing here?
Why aren’t you opening the door?
Sister, there is a problem.
What problem?
She is not my wife.
If she is not your wife, then whose wife is she?
She is the wife of the policeman..
..ringing the bell outside.
So, what are you doing with her?
Having an affair.
And Gagan...
I didn’t know anything.
I just found out.
I will deal with you later.
And Bindu, you.
How can you do all this when you already have a husband?
Sister, I can’t tell you how I am living with this man.
How can he giggle at every little thing?
Sister, I am much younger to me age wise.
He is very happy about it. But...
I am not happy at all.
When we go out in the morning..
..people call us father and daughter.
They look at us funnily. Taunt us.
Do you think I like that?
Maybe that creates no difference to him.
But it creates difference to me.
I feel bad.
I never imagined that my husband would be like this.
I want a man, whom I can love.
I couldn’t love him, even though I wanted to.
And then...
Then I found him.
And I fell in love with him.
Bindu, there is a huge age difference between you two.
I can understand.
You think the rest is wrong.
And look.
Instead of rectifying one mistake you committed another.
Bela, no matter what happened.
Now save this poor girl’s marriage.
Please.
And later..
..you can punish him.
You?
What is going on here? - What nonsense!
What is happening here?
Sir, look madam... - Shut up.
Ladies first. - Okay.
Yes, madam. What is the matter.
Sir, he crossed without the indicator.
While trying to save him my car bumped in a bit.
And now he is threatening me that I need to pay him.
Hey. Take him away and tell him a joke.
Yes, come on.
Yes, madam. Show me your license.
Sir, I think I have left my license at home.
I am a social worker. I am going to Shimla for my NGO.
It is very important, sir.
Do one thing. Get the papers and take the car.
You forgot your phone in the car.
Oh yes. And when it rang, I could hear the Gayatri Mantra.
And then I understood that I am disturbing a God’s devotee.
For the license.
I am still looking for the license.
You will have to find it and bring it to the police station.
I cannot make any settlement here.
As they say. Honesty is the best police.
Madam, I am confused about one thing.
What? - The bike here.
My wife has the same colored bike.
And even the license is the same.
Bindu is your wife?
Yes, of course. She is my wife.
She praises you a lot. - Is it?
Come on. She is inside. Have some tea. Come on.
Oh no. Not tea.
I will come in, only if you serve me green tea.
Sure. Please come. - All right.
Bindu.
Good to see you. - Come.
But what are you doing here?
I am Gagan Kapoor.
Oh yes. Gagan Kapoor.
I saw you name in the nameplate.
Are you Punjabi?
No, I am Bengali.
I am a real Punjabi.
Who is this kid?
I didn’t see your name on the nameplate outside.
He is my brother-in-law. Her brother.
Your brother.
But they look similar. - Huh?
Even I asked the same question at my wedding.
Happens. Happens. It happens.
Even my dad doesn’t look like his brother.
But they are still brothers. - Yes.
Anil Kapoor. Boney Kapoor.
Do they resemble? No.
But they are still brothers.
Quiet.
Ms. Bela.
I haven’t received the green tea yet.
Meanwhile have some water.
Strange boy.
He roams around with water.
Nowadays, anyone might visit at any time.
He is smart. A Punjabi boy.
Get some green tea.
Excuse me.
You were supposed to go to Shimla.
Then what are you doing here?
They perform veneration rituals together.
She was coming here today.
And suddenly she left for Shimla.
She came as soon as she left.
She came as she was leaving.
And now they were about to leave together when you came.
By the way, you are an amazing man.
No.
I am not an amazing man.
I belong to Bindu.
That is too much.
You are a very interesting man.
He starts taking interest in everything.
What kind of service are you busy with?
Theater.
Is it? - Yes.
I act on stage.
Theater? - Oh yes.
Do you perform in theater with everyone or alone?
I start with everyone. And then I advance alone.
Even I used to do drama. - What?
Oh yes. And I used to play a policeman in the drama.
Honest policeman.
So, people saw and said that you are required outside more.
Than inside.
Go outside. So, I came outside.
I came to Delhi and became a policeman. Look.
You are just like a tunnel.
I mean you are just opening up a lot.
Are you the one who brings Paneer..
..when he is asked to get milk?
I am the one who gets Kheer when asked for milk.
By the way, were you always like this?
Or have you done some course? - Oh no. No courses.
This is the experience of life. - Oh.
See, life is like a bubble.
You can either live sadly or happily.
Joyfully.
So, I thought to live it happily. So, I live happily.
Sir, it is a good thing that you are always happy.
But if something sad happens?
Just think, will you be happy..
..if Bindu leaves you?
That...
Madam.
You have asked a very hard question.
If Bindu leaves me,..
..I will be very sad.
But..
..the biggest thing is that..
..she has still accepted me.
Look at me.
I am a below average man.
I have a normal face with a normal job.
I don’t look good. I have got a paunch.
I know, I am not fit for her.
A smart..
..and handsome man like you is fit for her.
But..
..it’s been 6 years.
She has not left me.
I love you.
I am sorry.
Sorry? Sorry, for what?
Just like that. I am sorry.
What are you doing?
Don’t cry crazy girl. Otherwise, I will start crying too.
Bro, what is going on now?
Your wife is hugging whom?
She is hugging the right man.
If you try to mess thing up I will teach you a lesson.
Got it?
Gagan.
Actually, I want to say sorry to you too.
While serving the society I forgot..
..that I need to serve my husband too.
I don’t even give you time to talk.
In spite of all this you still love me like before.
I am really sorry.
Let’s go home.
I am sorry, if I have made any mistake.
What are you saying?
Bindu, I am just a stage actor.
He is the real hero.
Take care.
If a wife has such a husband..
..then her having extra marital affair...
Never spoils someone’s relationship with your foolishness.
And if you ever feel like, then do remember this slap.
You can never advance in life by telling lies..
..and forming false ties.
And stop calling yourself Gappu.
You cannot be Gappu.
Gappu.
Bro.
You have been the real kinsman.
There is an old saying.
Sometimes the weak helps the strong.
The way you helped me today.
Bela is angry with you.
But I am the reason for that anger.
If you ever need anything in life..
..then my doors are always open for you.
Come on, without ringing the bell.
And listen.
I know Bela. She will forgive you.
But...
You forgive me.
What are you saying, brother-in-law?
Because of you I learnt so many lessons in a single day.
And you know, you are just a complete institution.
With different values.
Okay, bye.
Have you forgotten where the feet are?
Are you bending down, or shall I lift my feet?
Hello and welcome to our show, the Winning Tortoise.
Today we have one real imminent personality in our studio.
The CEO of a very popular water purifier brand Zen purifiers.
Mr. Rajiv Chhabra.
Thank you.
They say, behind every successful man there is a woman.
So, is a woman responsible for you too?
There is an army of women responsible for me.
And men too.
I have done a lot for my business.
Formed different kind of ties.
Maternal uncle, aunt. Pater uncle, aunt.
Grandpa, Granny. Grandfather, Grandma.
Sister and brother-in-law.
I made those ties too.
Remember this boy.
He had come to install a purifier.
Hmm. How can I forget him?
Gappu.
Do you remember Bindu?
Yes.
His girlfriend.
Actually, she was not Gappu’s...
I knew that..
..you and Bindu...
But you never told me.
I was waiting for the day..
..when you would tell the truth.
Please, forgive me.
I did it that day itself.
That’s why I love you so much.
Hmm.
Will you have tea?
Hmm.
Get me some.
You women are so kind.
You forgive so easily.
Hello, darling. - Gagan. Are we meeting today?
Not today. I am emotionally overloaded today.
Oh.
I can’t take on your load today.
Why?
Please,..
..don’t mind.
Huh.
How can you be so happy by getting insulted?
Cruel...
One more.
Come on.
I don’t know if I need to go ahead or...
I don’t know...
You need hit him up close.
This world. This shooting.
This Manoj. This Chirkut.
Don’t you remember the rest of the dialogue.
Hello.
And you are cawing in the middle?
Action!