- This guy is a total freak.
But I'm telling you, he's growing weed in there.
- Hold it.
New jacket?
You really gotta get a girlfriend, dude.
See you tomorrow.
- What are you doing in my home?
- Katlyn?
- No. - I didn't kill her!
- Get away, you freak!
- Hey! Hey! - I didn't kill her.
She was laying there when I came in!
- Please!
- Does it hurt?
- You really want one of those don't you?
Go on! Get!
Go!
Filthy creatures.
They carry germs and disease.
You wouldn't wanna make mother sick would you?
Besides, young boys can't afford to be sympathetic.
Not even to a filthy mongrel.
Jesus Christ.
What in god's name are you wearing?
- I made it.
This is my medical.
This is my bird watching.
- Do you know what those troop leaders feed on?
The innocence of little boys.
And I'm not gonna let some sicko pedophile touch my child!
Next thing you know, you'll wanna be an altar boy.
Snap out of it!
Mother didn't raise you to be a little bitch.
You're better than that.
That's not for you.
- What is it?
- It's my protection.
Mama needs protection.
Now go make sure the front door is locked.
- It's locked. I already checked.
- Well, check it again.
What if some brute of a man,
let himself in here, raped mother raw,
and then set her on fire?
An unlocked door is an evil door.
Bless us, oh lord.
Filthy mongrel.
- Good afternoon.
- There was an accident today?
Under these circumstances,
we canvass the neighborhood, ask some questions.
- Under these circumstances?
- There was a fatality.
Were you home this afternoon?
- I was.
- Did you witness the accident?
- You're gonna keep doing this as long as it takes.
- Sir?
- No. No, I didn't.
- Did you see anything strange or out of the ordinary?
- No. I'm sorry, officer.
I wasn't aware anything happened until I heard the sirens.
- If you hear of anything that might be helpful to me,
would you mind giving me a call?
- I'm sorry I wasn't much help.
- Oh, it's a goddamn mess out there.
What the hell's wrong with you today?
Oh, looks like you still have
some leftovers from taco night.
I want you to try heating these on the stove for 20 minutes.
You're never gonna get better,
if you don't work on this stuff.
Do you have to keep everything you find?
Try throwing something away, just once.
It might be cathartic.
- A place for everything and everything in its place.
- Honey, I'm here to help you.
It's my job.
- I know.
- I promised to take care of you,
and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
So get over yourself and let me in!
Now give me kisses.
Ahh...
Only two of these per day, okay?
You've gotta work on this stuff.
- What am I gonna do with you?
- The hell you doing in here, boy?
- Ow! Ouch...
- It's lunch time.
Oh, man. She was a crazy bitch, dude.
Oh, and those curves.
I ended up spending the entire weekend in Aspen.
Or as I like to call it,
a drinking town with a skiing problem.
Man...
Oh, I got another one for you.
Boink!
Right?
- It's a good one.
- Yeah, it's just dope.
Thought you'd like it.
I found it the other day by the carousel.
God, this park gets lonely in the off-season, huh?
- I kind of like it.
- What? No.
No, there's no excitement, no energy, no women...
You're the one who's always complaining
about not having any friends.
I'm telling you, dude.
What are you smiling about?
- Nothing.
- Nothing?
Oh, there's something!
Come on.
I caught a big one.
- I met someone.
- What?
You met someone?
- Yes.
- Dude!
Yeah! That's great.
That's great, bro.
- Yeah. She's like me.
She doesn't like big crowds.
- Then you can stay inside. You know?
- She likes staying in.
- Oh, I bet she does.
That's what I'm talking about.
- An unlocked door is an evil door.
- Taco night.
Chicken with rice.
Taco night. Chicken with rice.
Chicken with rice. Chicken with rice.
Chicken with rice.
Chicken with rice. Chicken with rice. Chicken with rice.
Chicken with rice. Chicken with rice.
Rice. Rice. Rice. Rice.
Oh, father, lord in heaven,
thank you very much for these gifts
that we are about to receive.
Thank you very much for these moments
that we're spending together.
In the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost.
Amen.
Much better.
Hmm, pretty good.
Okay, now what?
You're heavy.
I need a better system.
It's for your own good.
Yeah.
This, however, is not gonna work.
Good night, mother.
Do god's will and take your pill.
Please bless mother and me.
And all of the wonderful memories,
that we Cherish together in life.
Amen.
Here we go.
- Anyways...
- Crazy big!
- I was reading a book with my book club yesterday,
and I thought of you, because the main character,
finds a way to overcome his sickness.
- We were fucking on the cake.
We were fucking in the cake.
We were eating the cake.
We were fucking and eating the cake.
- Anyways...
- Crazy bitch, man.
- Told those boys a million times.
You can't use diesel fuel in that kind of vehicle.
- I'm telling you, you know how with marathons,
you've got to pace yourself, man.
Well, Tanya didn't want any of that.
You know what I'm saying?
- Anyways...
- She is a top ten crazy bitch.
- You might not guess this about me,
but in my youth I was a cliff-diver at a theme restaurant.
I know it surprises everybody.
- Oh, my fucking god.
- Because there were dolls everywhere, man.
And you know me, I'm always ready to go with it.
Have you ever had sex in front of dolls?
- Anyways...
- This is a crazy bitch, right?
- I won't be able to stop by later,
so I thought I'd drop by and give you your pills,
and see if you need anything.
Gotta run. Bye.
- This woman is a crazy bitch.
And I fucking love her.
I think I love her and that's just crazy enough, you know?
That's crazy in itself.
- You know the rules.
Hold still until it dries.
- Do god's will and take your pill.
Please bless mother and me.
And all the wonderful memories,
that we Cherish together in life.
- Good morning to you, Dan.
At least 50 police officers, including the FBI,
are searching right now, over night using blood hounds,
in temperatures near freezing, and still no sign.
- And you know what she does?
This crazy bitch slaps me.
Boom!
Oh, man! Can you even imagine?
- Crazy. - - Yeah, right?
I'm telling you.
Crazy bitch. That's how I like 'em.
Oh, hey...
I found another set, by the coasters.
So what do you do with these keys, anyway?
- Keys are for unlocking.
- You're so Emo sometimes, dude.
- I like to imagine the story that goes along
with each one of them.
- Well, some idiot left them in his pocket,
got on a roller coaster, and they fell out.
The end.
End of story.
Nothing more.
Did I ever tell you about Becca?
Becca? It's British. Becca.
Anyway, she wants to meet up with me at a club, right?
So I show up. Guess what she's wearing?
A fucking Burka.
I'm not gonna lie.
I was a little turned on.
- Hey, pumpkin.
- God, I wish you wouldn't do that.
You know, it's polite to knock, okay?
- So, I was talking to Lois.
Good heavens. What do you need with all this ice?
Anyways, what was I saying?
- Anyway.
- What?
- That word is anyway.
There isn't an s.
- Whatever you say.
Anyway...
Lois says that there's scientific proof
that cats are good for healing the soul.
You should get one.
- I don't like cats.
- Well, that doesn't matter.
The cat will like you.
What is this?
- That's not mine.
- I can see that.
- Is this another one of your finds?
- It's my girlfriend's.
- Girlfriend? - Since when?
- I thought you might get mad.
- Mad? I haven't been this happy,
since my uncle Dave keeled off.
When do I get to meet her?
- Well, she's kind of a home-body.
- Oh, that's so cute.
Don't worry, I won't embarrass you.
Oh, this makes me so happy.
Now give me kisses.
Oh, you know what else Lois told me?
Sarah, down the street, has chlamydia.
Can you believe it?
She's married for 12 years.
I mean, how does that happen?
I don't know if she's getting something on the side,
or maybe he is, but somebody came home with something.
- Police, open up!
- An unlocked door is an evil door.
- Afternoon.
- Can I help you?
- Yeah, we're looking into the disappearance
of a young woman.
- Recognize her?
- Goes by the name Katlyn Kelly.
- No, can't say that I do.
- Where were you the afternoon of Monday the eighth?
- I was at work. I work every Monday.
- And what time would you say
you got home that evening?
About 5:08.
- Look, we're just trying to retrace her activities.
We got some reports saying that
she was in the neighborhood that afternoon.
- There was an accident in front of your house that day.
- Of course. Yes, Trisha.
The neighbor girl that was hit by a car.
- That's right.
- Yeah, what does this have to do with Trisha?
- Well, Katlyn was visiting Trisha from out of town.
We have some reports saying that
they were spotted together in this neighborhood.
- That's horrible.
Any idea where she might have gone?
- No, that's why we're here.
- Well, I apologize that I don't have
anything to add to what you're looking for.
- Ah, that's okay.
Look, if you remember anything unusual
about that day, give us a call.
- Of course officers. I'm sorry I can't be of any help.
- We're gonna keep doing this, as long as it takes.
- Shut the fuck up!
Am I dreaming?
- Not ruling anyone out.
- We don't have a person of interest,
and we're gonna look at every angle.
We're gonna look at every angle multiple times.
- Police are searching vast areas of terrain,
including fields and lakes,
but bad weather kept search helicopters grounded.
- So, stop pitying yourself.
And how about girls that fish for compliments, that is my...
Hey, got any change?
- Yeah? - Anyways, David.
- Do you know David? - - Yeah, I know him.
- Hello!
Top of the morning.
Hola. Como estas?
Muy bien. Gracias.
Alright. See you at noon, Jonathan.
I got plenty 'o stories,
for your enjoyment!
- I can't believe you're still wearing that outfit.
Well, if you wanna look foolish,
in front of all of these people, be my guest.
- There it is!
What's wrong, mom?
- It's germs.
The disease and the rot simmer in the air.
All of these sinners...
It infects my mouth.
Look at them.
Slut.
Adulterer.
Whore.
She's a whore, because she gets paid to be a slut.
Now grow up.
You're different than these disgusting little knee-biters.
You're better.
Look at them.
Judging me. Judging you...
It's not your fault.
But it is your responsibility.
Now, give me kisses.
- Every fucking day. Literally, man!
Every fucking day!
Can you believe that shit?
So how's it going with your new lady friend?
Alright, I get it.
Oh, hey, remember that girl Britney I was telling you about?
So the other day, we're out for wings.
Do you know what this crazy bitch did?
Three words, man.
Under the table.
I'll let you fill in the blanks.
Hand job.
Alright...
- A filthy house is the devil's playground.
A filthy house is the devil's playground.
A filthy house...
A filthy house is the devil's playground.
- Police! Open up!
- Miss us?
- We've got a few more questions.
- Make it quick.
- This is your house?
- Yes.
- How long have you lived here?
- 34 years. - It was my mother's house.
Please, be seated.
- Where's your mom now?
- She's passed away.
- How long ago did she pass?
- I was a kid.
But she left to the house to me.
So, when I was 18, I moved back.
These are all her things.
- Yeah? Yeah, we're working in it right now.
- Am I a suspect?
- Oh, it's purely preventative.
We're just crossing some names off a list.
- What lists?
- Well, we're still looking for this girl.
- I remember the photo. - I still haven't seen her.
- Okay, so you remember
talking about Trisha the other day?
The girl who got into the accident across the street.
- Yes, of course.
- You gonna let us look around?
- Do you have a warrant?
- We wanna be safe don't we?
We're gonna do this as many times as it takes.
Do it again.
- An unlocked door is an evil door.
- You shouldn't let those men in your house.
- How'd you get...
- your back door was open.
You're slipping.
An unlocked door is an evil door.
- What are you doing here?
- Your door was wide open.
- They forced their way into the house,
and were messing with all of my things.
- Well, they'll be back.
Are you a suspect?
- No. I don't think so.
- I'll be back.
- No. Karen, what are you doing?
- Stand up straight.
A young man's posture is his compliment to god.
- They shouldn't bother you anymore.
I've told them about your condition.
- What?
- I'm here to protect you.
- Wait, what condition?
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- I don't have a condition.
Get a way out!
- So, last night, right?
This girl, man, she...
- A filthy house is the devil's playground.
I'm sorry.
- Do god's will and take your pill.
Keep it together. Just keep it together.
Just keep it together.
Keep it together. Just keep it together.
Good night, mother.
- Such a good boy.
Taking care of mother.
Did you forget something?
What'll it take to get this through your thick skull?
A stove left on is a house soon gone.
- Do god's will and take your pill.
I saw what you did.
- Excuse me sir, I am selling raffle tickets to my
awards banquet where me and other young scouts
from the community are being honored.
- What?
- Eww! What happened to your arm?
- Oh, yeah. I fell.
- Hello, sir. Excuse me sir,
I am selling raffle tickets to my awards banquet
where me and other young scouts...
- thank you.
- Young scouts from the community will be honored.
- An unlocked door is an evil door.
- And I would like to know if you would
be interested in supporting...
- do god's will and take your pill.
Proceed...
- Mom?
- Oh, god...
- Look, I engraved your initials on it.
It works.
Mom?
Mom? Are you up there?
Are you in there?
Mom?
- You left the door open.
The germs, they're everywhere!
They're infecting me.
I can't get clean.
Please, help me.
- Hello, Jonathan.
- What'd you do with her?
- Her germs were beginning to infect my mouth.
You know, if you love someone,
you really need to set them free.
- Katlyn!
Katlyn?
- I did what you couldn't.
- Katlyn?
- I don't know what you saw in her anyways.
Did you see those disgusting lips?
- Shut up!
I said shut the fuck up!
- Skip your pills today?
I always knew you were a little bitch.
- Come on, finish it.
Do it. Come on! Do it!
You're even more fucked up than your mother.
You see? This is why we can't have nice things.
I told you, you need me.
- I'm sorry.
Sorry. So, so, sorry.
I am sorry, so sorry.
I am sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm so, so, sorry.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm so, so, sorry.
- Hey, what do you got for time?
Hey, 2:48.
- Fuck it.
80 million years...
These were around with the dinosaurs.
You know, the word orchid,
actually comes from the Greek word orchis,
which means testicle.
Well, the myth is that
this guy orchis wandered into a festival.
He had way too much to drink.
And he found his way to a beautiful,
beautiful, hot little, young priestess.
He tried to have his way with her.
You know what they did?
They tore him apart, limb from limb.
Then, his mother tried to get the gods to restore him.
But you know what they did?
They turned him into a flower.
A flower...
I could never understand why they did that.
- I think they did it because they wanted him
to become what he always was,
a beautiful, delicate flower.
- Well, shit!
It still grows on rotted wood.
- Sometimes, it's better to be alone.
- Please bless mother and me.
And all the wonderful memories,
that we Cherish together in life.
Thank you.
- Got any change?
That's fucking disgusting.
- See you at noon.