Subtitles by explosiveskull
My name is Jay Baruchel.
And I'm Eoin O'Callaghan.
And we are Celtics supporters.
At this moment all around the world,
there are tens of thousands of Celtics supporters
dressed in green and white, cheering for the legendary club.
You watch one Celtic game at home,
and within the first five minutes,
you hear how loud they are,
you hear the songs that they're singing,
and if you have a pulse, you get swept away.
At least I did, y'know.
I bought it hook, line and sinker.
Reporting for Fox Soccer Report, I'm Eoin O'Callaghan.
I used to host a soccer show in Canada
called Fox Soccer Report.
And unbeknownst to me, Jay watched the show all the time.
There was this awesome show called "Fox Soccer Report,"
and it was sort of my routine to end the day.
Lo and behold, the sort of best guy on there was this...
was Eoin O'Callaghan.
I'd seen Jay in a couple of his films.
I was a fan.
I followed him on Twitter and then he followed me back.
Well, we figured, why not hang out?
Feels very much like an online date,
and you're always hoping the other person
is who they say they are.
Hi, I wasn't Jay Baruchel. I'm called Sandra.
I live alone. Here's my cat.
- Jay Baruchel, buddy. - Eoin O'Cal.
How are you doing, man?
My hand! Good to see you.
I, uh, I bought you a gift.
So that's a Mayo jersey.
It came from where your ancestors are from.
I know!
Yeah, to tap into your ancestry.
- Thank you, Eoin. - No problem.
I got to be responsible
for introducing Eoin O'Callaghan
to poutine and steamies.
Oh, my God.
That's as specifically Montreal a meal as one can have.
I also introduced him to the Habs.
Yes! Ohh!
I'm guessing that was pretty good.
Wicked!
Just to get to watch a Habs game with him,
to get sort of infected with this disease
that is being a Habs fan.
Yeah, I've often described the Habs as like my religion.
I tell people my mom's Catholic,
my dad was Jewish, and I'm a Habs fan.
Look at this guy.
You're taking a photo of yourself right now. That's what you're doing.
Blackberry. What do you want from me?
You do it.
If the Habs are a religion,
then the Bell Centre is the cathedral...
and I'd argue the world epicentre of hockey.
To see this completely empty, it's just like...
Yeah, it feels like when you go into a church
in the middle of the afternoon,
as opposed to during Mass at nighttime.
There is that holy quality to it, isn't there?
- Sacred. - Yeah.
There's a real connection between the Catholic church
and the Habs, very similar
to the Catholic church and Celtic.
A team will pick you, you won't pick it.
And when I saw Celtic,
and I saw the hoops and the shamrock...
And I was like, "What's this?
This seems really interesting."
And given that my mother's family
emigrated to Canada from Ireland generations ago.
And then the same difficulties
that sent families like mine away from Ireland
to the new world also sent a section
of Ireland up to Glasgow.
The fact that Celtic's borne from the potato famine
and that my family was greatly affected by that,
it seemed pretty clear that
this is who I was supposed to root for.
I went to a tattoo parlour, and he's like, "How big?"
I said, "From about here," he's like, "Are you sure?"
Whenever somebody asks me if I know what I'm doing,
my fragile male ego kicks in,
and rather than be like,
"Oh, you know what? You're right.
"Maybe it should be a bit smaller,"
I was like, "What? No. Bigger."
And now I have basically an Irish Yakuza tattoo
on my arm.
I introduced Jay to hurling,
the Irish version of hockey.
But it was never meant to be played
in the snowy streets of Montreal.
We got into a really great conversation
about Irish heritage
and what Celtic means to me and him,
and I guess that sparked something
in the food processor that is his brain, and he asked me,
"Have you ever been to see Celtic play?"
I said, "No," and he said maybe we could go see them,
and on the way explore my Irish roots.
That's your map of Canada?
Fuck, I'm totally nailing this.
Yours looks like a chicken nugget.
A road trip...
From Montreal to Dublin.
Across the Galway for a hurling game.
Up the coast to Westport
where my family comes from.
Then over to Larne for a ferry ride to Scotland.
Up to Glasgow...
Then Lennoxtown to watch Celtic train.
And finally Paradise.
That seems like a plan to me.
Yes, it does.
- I'll see you in hell! - Put it there!
Crumlin.
It's open!
Hello, Crumlin? It's Montreal.
- Hey! - How's it going, man?
So... sorry, Jay, this is my wife Lyndsey.
- How are you? - This is my dad, Brendan.
Honour to meet you. Nice to meet you.
- And this is my mom Joan. - How are you? You're frozen!
- Yeah, take a seat, buddy. - Thank you for having me.
- Now I'm part of the family. - That's it.
You've been part of the family unofficially for quite a while.
For a while I've been a digital part, internet part of the family.
Jay, tell me where are you off to,
and what's Eoin's involvement in this?
That's a very good question.
I'm taking your son... We'll go to Galway.
Hail, hail! Number one.
And then we go to Mayo.
And then we go up to... Inniskillen?
Very good. You're going across the border?
And then we go Larne Harbour,
then we go over to Glasgow to see Celtic play.
Very good.
How excited are you for that?
Very, very excited, 'cause they're my favourite team,
and I've like only ever seen them on TV.
Well, you're not taking my son from me.
You're taking my son from his wife.
Fair enough.
I'm taking your husband and your son.
Yeah, happy Valentine's Day.
So hang on, hang on. It gets better.
We'll be together ten years as well when you're on the road.
So our ten-year anniversary, my birthday, Valentine's Day.
But she'll enjoy it all the more
because she'll be thinking about him.
Like, "Where are you today?"
This guy knows.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
So, when we were in Montreal,
you were kind enough to take me to your cathedral,
home of the Habs, the Bell Centre.
But 'cause you're in my country now,
I get to bring you to my cathedral,
which is Croke Park.
That's the biggest stadium in the country
and it was built for amateur sport.
Gaelic football and hurling.
Awesome.
Nobody gets paid,
not the players, not the coaches.
They just do it for the love.
That's incredible.
- Here we are. - There she is.
This is hallowed ground, Eoin?
So much history in here, buddy.
- Holy shit. - Look at the size of it.
Fuck me.
Ain't she something?
She really is.
- Yeah. - This is amazing.
This many seats for Gaelic athletics.
Well, you think of a summer day,
you're watching the big game,
it could be Gaelic football or hurling,
and the noise just keeps getting louder
and louder.
How big is it?
- Capacity's 82,000. - Nice.
I just wanted to see if you knew it.
Well, I think it's probably like 80,361 or whatever.
I could tell you exactly what the Bell Centre is...
81,273.
It's not a competition, dude.
Well maybe it is, but this wins.
- So screw you. - It clearly does. This is incredible.
Out comes Ritchie Hogan
with his back end towards the aforementioned Walter Welch
and Walter Welch has a chance here...
Lays it off to TJ Reid, who scores!
This is the Vatican of Irish sport.
Kilkenny have retained their title
and won another roll, Ireland five all.
Is it like baseball?
Are you allowed to keep the ball if you catch it in the stands?
Not really. You throw it back.
And also it's like the people around you
would just be, "Give the fucking thing back!
What are you doing, keep hold of the fucking ball?"
Fair enough.
Yeah, so you'll just throw it back out of politeness.
Alright, so what's the...
Okay, so we have a sliotar.
It's the ball. It's an Irish word.
And then we have the hurl, or hurley, some people call it.
So similar enough to maybe hockey.
Yeah.
So you'll slice a sliotar,
over the post in a game, or underneath for a goal.
Awesome.
And how do you toss it, and what's the body position,
and all that shit?
So you can strike on your right-hand side...
Or your left-hand side.
So you right-handed, left-handed?
Right-handed. Perfect. So exactly like myself.
You'll find out the speed, then.
Okay, so it's going to rank my speed.
Okay. I feel like Anthony Nash.
- 27 kilometres. - Good.
Good?
Not great, it's not great, is it?
Okay, 27.
Yeah, just try and beat that now.
- Atta boy! - 29.
- 22. - Eh, not bad.
- What was it? - 22. So 29 is...
29 was the best.
I can't wait to see what Allie does.
Do you want to have a go using this?
Alright, why not?
Oh, thank you! Thank you very much.
That's okay, it doesn't count.
- Fuck's sake. - That's alright.
So keep your eye on the ball.
You're getting there, buddy.
What does that say, five? 18?
- 18! - It's reading.
Fuck sake.
They just gave you a speed.
Eighteen.
- They invented a... - Alright, mama, your turn.
We're just going to be embarrassed here now.
No, I don't think so. Like in terms of power.
Your first attempt is going to be 37.
Listen, I'm a girl.
Ready?
Holy shit! 84!
Jesus Christ!
Holy Moses. 85!
Jesus Christ!
Oh, that one's going to do it. 92!
Holy...
I flew from Canada to be emasculated,
basically, is why I'm here.
Thank you for bearing with us.
- Yeah, thanks for humouring us. - Not taking the piss out of us.
This is O'Connell Street,
named after Patrick O'Connell.
Sorry, that's completely wrong.
Patrick O'Connell was the manager of Barcelona.
Named after Daniel O'Connell.
Who is?
Who was the great emancipator for Catholics,
and he campaigned tirelessly for Catholics
to be emancipated.
A posh Dublin accent would kind of sound like this.
So I was onto my friend Jay Baruchel,
the actor.
You know, he's been in a bunch of films.
Hollywood, you know.
You know the type.
And Jay came over,
he was on holiday here.
And we were hanging out for a little bit.
And he's a great fucking guy.
They don't say "fuck." They say "fock."
It's like an f-o-c-k.
And lots of them are rugby fans.
Right, right, right. Of course they are.
"Did you see that?
He cleaned the fock out of him with that hit."
So this is our first stop on the west coast,
Galway city, beautiful part of the world.
Yeah, no kidding.
Such a great sports culture here as well.
It's a great little starting point
for you to see the rest of the west coast.
Very beautiful.
- Here you are, guys. - Hey, thank you so much.
- Thanks, Jim. - You're welcome.
- Appreciate it. - Thank you.
This looks amazing.
If you need anything else, just holler.
Is there any brown sauce, HP sauce?
- Yeah, get it for you. - Lovely, thank you.
- What a gent. - Beautiful.
Alright, buddy, so here we are.
Morning, Valentine's Day morning together.
As I've always imagined it would be.
Finally in Galway, beautiful Galway Bay,
and here.
So I have this little present for you.
It is a little 19th-century tourism guide
to your country, and so...
No way!
It'll tell you where to stay and what was affordable in 1870.
- Thanks, man. - My pleasure.
- It means a lot, buddy. - My pleasure, man.
Wild. That's so thoughtful, man.
So I'm going to finally get to see my first hurling match today.
It's not just any hurling. It's like Cork and Galway.
So it's my team and it's Galway,
and so you get that local element.
So here's my question...
Will there be any other Cork people there today?
There will be a small crowd from Cork.
Am I going to get stabbed 'cause of you?
- You may get punched a little. - That's fine with me.
You'll get thrown around the place,
but I mean, no one will take a knife out.
- That's all I care about. - This is Ireland, for God sake.
Not Scotland, for example.
Yeah, exactly. It's not Glasgow.
God!
I'll have you know, if that happens,
you can expect to find me in the parking lot,
smoking and waiting for you.
- Nice. - You got it, buddy.
It's nice to have a supportive friend...
You got it, pal.
...to have your back on Valentine's Day of all days.
How long have you, um, thought of us spending time
with each other on Valentine's morning?
Eoin, since the first time I jerked off
to Fox Soccer Report five years ago.
Well, you know what?
I lost count of how many people tell me the exact same thing.
It's the way you say "stadium of light".
Just gets the fuckin' skeet going.
Oh, this is awful.
Skeet. You know "skeet"?
Are you familiar with that term?
Um...
"Skeet" is a modern North American term
for pre-ejaculate.
Happy Valentine's!
Galway.
That'll cut... That's a cutting point for you.
We're standing in Pearse Stadium,
which is the premier county ground in Galway
in the west of Ireland.
And we're here for the first round
of the Alliance Hurling League game between Galway and Cork.
Well, hurling is a unique sport, it's the fastest speed game
in the world and what's said is that
when you get your jerseys for any other sport,
you must be prepared to die for it.
But in hurling, when you get the jersey,
you must be prepared to kill for it.
Come on, buddy.
From the shoulder, that's it.
- Atta boy. - And again.
Go, Habs, go.
Ah!
Fuck's sake.
Jesus Christ.
They seem to be more on their toes, Galway.
- They're like... - They want it.
They're just more energized.
Travelling... So he kept onto the ball too long.
Like travelling in basketball.
Yeah, 'cause you have to do something with it.
Come on.
- Get in! - Yes.
- Atta boy, atta boy! - Yeah, shoot!
- There's Cork, for you. - Atta boy!
There's a lot of Cork people here.
You know what?
It's a bigger Cork contingent than I thought.
- Oh, Jesus. - Oy vey.
Taking the fuckin' piss.
Jesus Christ all fuckin' mighty.
You a betting man? Is it over?
I mean, like Cork needs fuckin' insulin.
They need a goal quickly,
so it breathes some new life into it.
Oh.
Fuck it!
Ah!
Ah, fuck's sake, this fuckin' sucks.
Ay-yi-yi.
That's it. The game's over.
- Hi. How are you? - Nice to meet you.
What's that?
I loved it. That was wicked, man.
It was gorgeous, hooked. I'm a hockey fan.
That's it.
Every time I kept being like, "Just fuckin' smoke 'em man!
Just fuckin' take 'em out, drill 'em!"
God bless you. Are you serious?
Thank you. Thank you so much.
So... dyed in the wool. Dyed in the wool.
You don't know how much this means.
This is incredible.
Well, I feel I can say this going forward...
Gorgeous! Absolutely beautiful!
Absolutely beautiful.
I live in Canada, so all I'm trying to say is...
Be careful, be careful with what you're about to say.
- I'm just saying... - Aware of your location.
I'm just saying, I live in Canada.
We have more mountains, trees...
I've lived in Canada.
...and uninterrupted vistas
than any other place in the world.
I've lived in Winnipeg.
Yes, that's not the Canada I'm talking about.
I've lived in Vancouver.
I've been to Whistler, I've been to Banff.
In fairness, Banff, I think, is...
If I had like limitless funds,
I would have gotten married in Banff.
Yeah, right. That's God's country, right?
By the way, this is fucking spectacular.
This is... This is gorgeous.
Like, this is sheep on the road.
Oh I know.
I want to kind of show people.
Ah, fuck it.
I'm telling you it's very gorgeous.
It's just like... It's like a small Canada.
It's just like a wee Canada.
- It's like a flake. - Like a little Canada.
So these two British guys,
Alcock and Brown, they entered a competition
to make the first Atlantic crossing in a plane.
So they left from Newfoundland
and crash-landed on the coast near Clifden.
There is some sort of memorial to commemorate
this like massive international event.
So that could be worth checking out.
In the news today, Alcock and Brown have arrived
in a crash landing site on the west coast of Ireland.
First trans-Atlantic flight
took off from Gander, Newfoundland,
and crash-landed somewhere
in some sort of Irish bog.
Alcock and Brown, two Britons,
have represented their country with distinction
on this amazing and quite remarkable journey.
We congratulate both gentlemen.
Hip, hip... Hooray!
And cheerio to all.
You're full of beans this morning,
as you would say in these parts.
You know...
♪ Have you heard about the big... ♪
So I'm not sure where the fuck this place is.
We're following Google Maps, and it's...
It just wasn't clear where it was.
I've driven past it before. I do know it's there.
It is a thing.
It's the wing of a plane, like that's what
the... yeah, that's what the thing is.
You're the wing of a plane.
Did it ever occur to anyone
- it might not actually exist? - No, it definitely exists.
I mean, I think we passed it, homey.
It said destination's on the right
and that was like five minutes ago.
The Alcock and Brown. The memorial to the flight.
Go straight.
- See the cross there? - Yeah.
Go up that road. You can see the signpost.
Signpost? Perfect. Listen, thanks a million.
Thanks so much.
I'll be honest...
My love affair with the Alcock and Brown memorial
is, is souring by the minute.
No, I shouldn't have gone over the bridge.
He clearly meant to continue on the road.
Aerus Lanon is where it is.
And there's a sign that says "Alcock and Brown Monument,"
and it's aiming the other way.
It's so Irish.
You couldn't miss it.
It's just there on the side of the road.
Is there a sign or anything for it?
No, but you couldn't miss it.
Why would we put a sign there for?
God forbid.
I think we're more lost
than fuckin' the actual Alcock and Brown.
Supposed to be a wing and a nose?
Fuck this, we still have to climb
Croagh Patrick this morning.
- Let's do the mountain. - Right.
This is the start of a gruelling pilgrimage.
This is the wild mountain where, 1,500 years ago,
St. Patrick went to fast for 40 days.
Every year,
pilgrims by the thousand come to this merciless place
in the west of Ireland
to walk in the saint's footsteps...
to walk, to stumble, to clutch and crawl, part of the time.
Some chasten themselves by facing the rocks with bare feet.
About ready to chop my fucking legs off.
This is your hometown, buddy.
This is your genes.
I suppose.
I'd be fucking pretty surprised my ancestors
climbed this fucking thing. They got my genes, right?
They're probably looking down at you now going, "Look at this bastard!"
"Who the fuck told him to climb..."
"You stupid idiot!"
"You stupid Canadian motherfucker!"
"Didn't we teach you anything?"
Irish people... How crazy are we?
I think I took my mother's name in vain there last week.
What I'll do...
I'll climb a half a kilometre barefoot.
Barefoot, and maybe that'll put me in the good books again.
Maybe.
I don't know, but I'll try it.
God.
Listen, I get it.
I'm already having a bit of a religious experience,
and I'm only halfway up the fucking thing, so...
Alright, march forward, to the summit.
Onwards.
The whole way!
I did the whole way like this!
I love being alive!
You stupid bastard.
Ye stupid fockin' Canadian cunt.
How did you hear that?
I, uh... This might come as a surprise to some people...
I'm not a very healthy person.
I'm happy. I have a sense of pride.
No, I don't. I'd be lying. There's no pride.
There's just lactic acid and fatigue.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna sleep for 15 hours tonight.
- Some deal. - I'm so stiff already.
God, fuckin' shit balls!
Christ! Fuckin' cunt!
- We did it, brother. - Oh yeah.
Just think.
This is where Jamie Kennedy's ancestors came from.
So, how are you feeling?
I'm a little nervous, actually.
It's not every day you get to find out exactly
where your family came from.
Here we are.
If you want to know a bit of Westport history,
this is the spot to come to...
It's very quaint.
- Hi! - Hello!
This is an interesting door.
Yes, this is a half door.
Of course, of course.
- Are you Jay? - I'm Jay.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
I'm Eoin. Pleased to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too, Eoin. - Thank you for having us.
Honoured to be here in Cathair Na Mart.
I'm big into genealogy,
and I've been building my family tree
for the past five, six years,
and one of the cool things I found
was a ship manifest from 1842
that had my fourth great-grandfather
and his little brother who came from Westport
and went off to Canada.
Your name's O'Malley, isn't it?
I know, it's very common.
Well apart from it being a very common name,
it is a very important name,
because they were the chieftains around here.
And they would have controlled everything.
And there was one very, very famous O'Malley.
If you spent long in this area,
you'd soon hear about this person because she was a woman...
probably the most famous woman in Irish history.
- Bridget. - Her name was Grace O'Malley...
Or as she was known in Irish, Granuaile.
But not only was she a sea captain
but she was a pirate.
Anyone wanting to pass through her seas had to pay her,
otherwise she plundered their ships.
There's a drawing here of Grace
going to meet Queen Elizabeth in England.
You see, Queen Elizabeth's men
captured one of Grace's sons,
and they conversed in Latin,
because Grace didn't speak English,
Elizabeth didn't speak Irish.
Elizabeth did release her son.
She was very impressed by her.
So if the O'Malley's
were the sort of main dominant clan here,
that would make them the "nobility"
for lack of a better term,
other people, poor people
would have taken that surname as well?
- Not really. - No?
- Not necessarily. - Because we were dirt poor.
I'm trying to understand what the hell happened.
What happened to family Joe's.
But you see, this is Westport House.
This castle that was here
was destroyed in 1580 by the English.
And after that,
all the land around here passed
from the older money family,
who had ruled here for about 600 years,
to an English settler family called Brown.
And up to the beginning of the 20th century,
they would have owned absolutely everything
as far as you can see.
They were the largest landowners in County Mayo.
They would have been the landlords for your family.
- Wow. - Yeah.
The earliest records that we have
are the rent rolls from Westport House.
- And I did find an O'Malley on Peter Street... - Really?
- On the Lord Sligo Rent Rolls. - Oh, my gosh.
You said the mother's name was Walsh, didn't you?
Yes, that's right!
Okay, so in 1834, there was a Walsh also on Peter Street.
So that's too much of a coincidence.
No kidding!
- They must have... - What?
Now, 12 is just there...
Oh, my gosh, that's so exciting.
Thank you so much for looking into that.
You're very welcome.
It's absolutely... Like, that's... Wow.
- That's incredible. - It's been a pleasure.
Did you see the O'Malley standard down here?
Oh yes, the boar.
Their motto was, "Powerful by land and by sea."
That's wicked.
As far as mottos go, you can do a lot worse, eh?
Yeah, you could.
It could be, "Cowardice in the face of any inconvenience."
Now I think you should actually go
and have a look at Westport House.
Mama!
Mama, I'm coming home!
There she is, eh?
"Grace O'Malley was a famous 16th century
Pirate Queen of Connaught who ruled the seas around Mayo.
Westport House is built on the ruined foundations
of one of her original 16th-century castles."
I love that she's pictured with her sword.
Have you ever heard of a female pirate?
- No, only her, only her. - This is such a unique thing.
The fact that like, you know,
she can hold court with Elizabeth.
And she had a brother.
- She was the strong one. - She was the one.
- She went on the boat. - She's the hero.
It's an honour to come visit your home.
And my home, I guess.
Good old Grace.
I'll live to see an O'Malley reclaim this land.
Is that a thinly-veiled threat?
Brooowwwwwn!
One guy hovering in there somewhere.
He's like, "Aw, shit! It finally happened!"
"My granddad told me one day this might happen."
That's a pretty important woman.
So, are you pretty psyched about what you just saw?
The fact that it got down to an address, right...
It's huge.
Like five O'Malleys or Malleys.
Yeah, and a Walsh on one street.
So clearly, like as she said,
that's too much of a coincidence for it to not be my ancestors.
- Peter Street. Here we are. - In all its glory.
We have 14.
14 and 12 were the ones that I was sort of... believe.
So it's got to be
either this one or that one.
If, like, Mrs. O'Malley or something answers this door...
Yeah, this is going to be crazy.
- Alright. - Oh, is there a bell?
Hi, there, sir.
Hi, how's it going?
Sorry to bother you. We're from Canada.
We're actually making a documentary.
We tried to bring as good a weather as we could.
We brought Canadian weather with us is the problem.
So sorry, excuse the camera and everything.
So basically, my ancestors come from this town,
and we are trying to locate what would have been
14 or 12 Peter Street in the 1850s.
I know...
And so we thought maybe this might be it.
And to make it easier, we're looking for an O'Malley.
We're in the right town, aren't we?
We're told they're very rare around here.
No?
You're telling me you didn't know Grace O'Malley?
Really?
That might be what it is, actually, because...
That's right. Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Right, so there's a chance the buildings
just don't exist any more.
Could be one of the ones left in ruins.
She did point us out that map, and it jutted there.
Well, cheers, sir. Thank you so much for your time.
Of course, yeah.
- No kidding? - Right.
The food was here.
Armed guards in front of the warehouse.
Starving.
Listen, we'll continue our trek.
Thank you so much for your time, sir.
- Thank you very much, eh? - Absolute pleasure.
Have a nice day. Thank you for your time, sir.
I'm Jay. This is Eoin.
On the map,
the houses jutted out this way,
into the cross of Key Street and Peter Street, right?
Where this sort of square is now,
and as he just said,
they tore a bunch of these down to put these here.
So once again, just like in Halifax,
where all of the fifth ward was,
all of where my ancestors came from,
destroyed in the explosion.
Yet another place that my ancestors...
No trace whatsoever.
I've walked this street on Google Map Street View
so many fucking times.
I know this like the back of my hand,
I've looked at it for years now.
So, um... Wow.
What do you feel like now?
Like this is, y'know, this is the street where your, y'know...
It's just hard not to get emotional,
and to know how hard a life they would have lived.
And, uh...
Yeah, just like knowing what it must be like to be
a second-class citizen in your own fucking country,
and to know that you stand a better chance
crossing the bloody ocean
and going to some place you've never been
than you do living, growing up here, right, y'know?
These men had chances, and women had chances,
to go to Canada and have land.
To have their own land, to have their own house,
- to be, to... y'know, that's... - To be a person.
To be a person, y'know,
to come from a place where to be Catholic was illegal.
So the fact that John and Thomas
made it all the way over there, got off the boat,
and were able to start lives for themselves,
lives that directly... y'know, 200 years later, here I am,
you know, like...
It's pretty special stuff.
Thank you, Cathair Na Mart.
God hates the Irish and the Jews, man.
I'm tellin' you.
Both my people. Fuck's sake.
♪ You might share thy travel ♪
♪ Many sights I have seen ♪
♪ Since I left my old home in ♪
♪ That island of green ♪
♪ From London to Boston ♪
♪ Wherever I roam ♪
♪ I long to return to ♪
♪ My own Sligo home ♪
♪ O joyful that good day ♪
♪ That we all spent ♪
♪ As we walk by Glencar ♪
♪ So happy and content ♪
♪ In hazel green meadows ♪
♪ I oft walk alone ♪
♪ Amidst the green hills ♪
♪ Of my own Sligo home ♪
♪ Oh, the bright lights of London ♪
♪ Are pretty to see ♪
♪ And the sidewalks of New York ♪
♪ Are so grand to me ♪
♪ Someday I will wander ♪
♪ Back home past the foam ♪
♪ To take the road westward ♪
♪ To my own Sligo home ♪
Approaching the final lap, my friend.
- Many people have done it. - Goodbye, Ireland.
- Your ancestors did it. - No kidding, eh?
Jumped on a boat and...
We're taking a Celtic journey too, Ireland to Glasgow.
Yeah, a lot of Irish people do that too.
Yeah, boy.
There she blows. There's a big ship.
- Hi there. - Hi, how are you?
- Good, how are you doing? - I'm fine, nice to see you.
Nice to see you.
So are you going to actually see Celtic play?
Yes, we are, on Saturday.
On Saturday? Are you all excited?
You know it. Can't you tell?
At least we've got a good day for it.
It's a lovely day.
You go on up the doorway there and I'll see you in the car.
- Yes, ma'am. Thank you. - Thanks a mil.
She's friggin' nice as hell. Jesus Christ.
Hi, there. How are you?
Nice to meet you. Yeah, lane five, she said?
You just follow the path.
Thank you so much.
Fuck, these people are nice.
Jesus Christ almighty.
They do know that it's Jay Baruchel.
Hey, fuck, Eoin, no one knows who the fuck I am.
We don't often get Hollywood actors here.
- So we're all excited. - Okay, good.
We're a few hour drive away, my friend.
Aye, welcome to Scotland!
Welcome to Cairnryan.
Cairnryan...
It's a beautiful country. Ireland's cousin.
- It feels very familiar. - It does, doesn't it?
Yeah.
One thing I notice right off the bat,
how much sunnier it is than Ireland.
But we are, we are bound for my favourite city
outside of Canada.
Glasgow is... it's a wicked city.
It's such a good town.
It's given the world so much great music
and movies and literature and sport,
and you feel it when you're there.
It's also the murder capital of Europe,
but you know, listen,
that just adds to the flavour, right?
Yeah, I mean, you can't be perfect.
The Gorbals is a working class area
which Celtic has its roots in.
We've got a guide teed up called Tony.
He knows the area like the back of his hand.
And he's taking some time out to show us around
and act as a tour guide.
Cool.
- Tony? - Yeah.
- This is Jay. - Nice to meet you, sir.
Yeah, thanks for having us today
at the iconic Brazen Head Pub.
This is a spot, is it?
The last of a dying breed are here.
So let's have a look around the area.
- Yeah, let's take a look. - Dip into Celtic folklore.
I'd love to.
Let's do it.
After you. Lead the way.
What does football and Celtic mean
to this community here?
Well said.
Was he really?
Of course, yeah.
Not the Pinkertons...
The Pinkertons? So the first Pinkerton?
Holy smokes!
So the real question isn't who comes from the Gorbals.
Who the fuck doesn't come from the Gorbals?
Yeah, that's lovely. That's lovely.
With a local celebrity like yourself.
That's it, clearly. Fuck Thomas Lipton.
We're with Tony Donnelly right there.
Celtic as a club, as an organization, y'know,
you have an association always with Irish,
but it's not technically true.
It was Jewish, Italian, it was Irish...
No, probably not.
Single greatest memory,
if you had to pick one above all?
Really?
Yeah, entertainment, always.
Are you serious?
Another fine young gentleman.
Aye.
The academy right there.
Alumni...
Hi!
So was Eoin's accent common in these parts?
Spot the foreigner here. Come on.
You couldn't find a Scot in here?
Hard way of life?
Saved a lot of people, didn't it?
Father...
I brought my wallet. It's great. We can sort it out.
Oh, my God.
Thank you, Father. Thank you very much.
- You're more than welcome. - Thank you.
Father, thank you so much.
That means... That means a great deal.
There is a founding father of Celtic.
He was their first manager.
He played for them as a player before that...
And that's Willie Maley.
Willie Maley, yes. Willie Maley.
I have my book that I wrote about Willie Maley.
I described him as "The man who made Celtic."
He actually played in the first game.
He also played in the first Scottish Cup final
- against Queen's Park in 1892... - Geez!
And when they went through a bad spell in 1897,
he became the first ever paid manager of the club.
And he was the manager of the club
from 1897 'til 1940.
Holy smokes!
That might be the longest tenure in football history.
I'm not sure about that.
I think it's probably the longest tenure
in British history, I think it probably is.
Jay's ancestors in Ireland, as we found out,
are O'Malley.
- Right. - From Westport.
And I am wondering... Willie Maley...
Is there an Irish connection?
Oh, very much so. Very much so. Very much Irish.
His mother was Canadian... Mary Montgomery.
Wait, what?
- His mother was Canadian. - No, she wasn't!
Oh, yes, and Maley's father, Thomas Maley,
sometimes called "Malley," incidentally,
some of the supporters thought it was Willie Malley,
rather than Maley.
And his dad's name was Thomas?
Yes, he was Irish.
So we can categorically say
that Willie Maley, the man who made Celtic,
would not have happened
without Canada and without Ireland.
Certainly not.
You're a third-generation Celtic man.
Is your life and Celtic sort of inseparable
to a certain degree?
To a certain extent, yes, yeah.
If somebody mentions to me, for example, a year,
if somebody says something like 1962,
I say, "Oh, no, the Razors won the cup then!"
All your reference points are Celtic?
1972 was the year... 70 was the year I got married.
It was also the year that Dixie Dean
scored a hat trick in the cup.
Which one is at the top?
Now, I wouldn't like to say. I wouldn't like to say.
Just in case my wife sees this program.
No, hundred percent. That's a very smart decision.
Going to fuckin' Lennoxtown, buddy.
I can't believe
that we're actually going to watch Celtic train.
- This is... - Hallowed ground.
...really, really exciting.
Yeah, hallowed ground.
Pleased to meet ya. Good on ya!
Sorry, I loved hanging out with Tony yesterday.
Yeah.
- Beep-beep! - How's it by ye?
- Come on the Hoops! - Come on the Hoops! Yeah, alright!
I love that when he walked past the hairdressing salon
and he's knocking on the window at the women.
Ah!
'Ello, how are ya? How's it going?
Aye, how's it going?
Yeah, we're doing a film in here.
Brilliant.
I just can't...
can't quite wait to meet John Collins.
Is that going to be special for you?
Yeah, you know?
I can count probably on one hand
the players that I had individual posters on my wall.
- Yeah, and he was one of them? - He was one of them.
Dark hair, square jawline.
Like deeply attractive man.
Like when he was a player, like in his mid-20s.
He looks the exact same. It's like Mel Gibson in Forever Young.
- Yeah, that's right. - Nothing has changed.
- That's amazing. - My God. He's like an Adonis.
Now this is a pretty spectacular drive.
Gorgeous.
That's where Lennoxtown is,
right at the top of that mountain.
That's right, yeah.
The League of Shadows, Christopher Nolan, Batman,
he actually borrowed it
from the origin story of Lennoxtown.
Yes, exactly right, yeah. Famously.
You've got Brother Walfrid, Willie Maley, Ra's al Ghul.
- Those are the sort of... - It's the holy trinity.
That's what they refer to it as in Celtic kind of folklore.
I can't quite believe I'm here.
So we have Scott Brown over here in the T-shirt,
the grey T-shirt, he's the captain.
Charlie Mulgrew, he's got an immaculate left foot.
Could open a can of beans with his left foot,
as you'd say.
Also watching, watching John Collins in the middle
of the training himself, in his late, mid-40s.
Ready, go under pressure, cameras rolling, go!
Pressure, pressure, let's go!
See that touch right there, just instant trap there,
and that was it, right back.
I just want to be in the middle of it.
I just want one of the guys to go,
"Hey, you want to get in here and train with us?"
I'd be like, "Nah," and actually deep down like,
"Oh God, yeah. Totally!"
God, Brown's a fuckin' specimen, eh?
Jesus Christ!
He's a fuckin' terrier, isn't he, Brown?
You can see how much they enjoy each other's company as well.
It's laughter, and joking, and everything's so relaxed.
So it's fantastic.
I'm looking around at like rolling fells
and mist and snow-capped mountains,
and in the middle of it is Celtic training.
You can't get more romantic than that, can you?
Oh, fuck sake.
You psyched them out, Baruchel.
That's not true.
- Ooh! - Ah, fuck sake.
- Alright. - I gotta beat one.
Fuck sakes!
Whose idea was this?
Honour to meet you.
Scott, Eoin, how's it going, mate, you alright?
Where did you live in Canada?
Really? Near Niagara Falls?
For real?
That's awesome, what brought you there?
Oh, very cool. That's awesome.
Did you play some hockey when you were in St. Catherine's?
Yeah, of course.
We're going to do some crossbar challenge work here?
Let's go for it.
Alright, homey, you go first.
Now we're trying to hit the fuckin' cross bar, right?
Oh, fuck!
Not the most athletically fuckin'
naturally gifted guy out there,
so here we go, boys.
God hates a coward.
Oh, fuckin' hell! Jesus Christ almighty.
Mulgrew is laughing at you.
Alright, home boy.
You see how close the Irishman got.
Ooh!
About the same, about the same.
Scott, you want to get in on this?
Come on.
Hey!
My man... My man!
I realized, as you went to take that kick,
that you're wearing just fuckin' socks,
and I was like, oh, there's probably legal ramifications
to what just happened.
Alright. Yeah, come on, Cork City.
Oh!
So that's me in the lead at the moment, right?
Just to confirm
with these professional footballers?
All of Montreal is watching you, kid.
Alright, St. Catherine's, it's you.
Shite!
That legitimately bugged you.
- Thank you, Charlie. - You're welcome.
You've certainly got natural ability.
You ever meet a humble Irishman?
Aw, fuck's sake.
How are you, sir?
Thanks so much for taking the time, Mr. Collins.
Appreciate it.
Whichever. Whichever comes naturally.
Whatever your default position is.
I'm still kind of quite happy with myself.
I just beat Mulgrew and Brown in crossbar challenge.
Yeah.
What is the difference between Celtic and every other club?
Well said.
How did it feel when you signed for the club,
back in the day?
Did you really?
This is kind of a big moment for me.
You and your teammates came to Cork,
pre-season friendly, to play Cork City.
And in the stands was me and my older brothers,
my very first game I went to. But after the game,
I got to shake your hand when I was an eight-year-old kid,
so it was a special moment for me.
Happy days. The good old days.
That's the main thing. Every cloud.
No, so thank you for being here today.
- It's a big moment. - Well, shake his hand again.
Absolutely.
Well, I don't want to brag.
I'm not the type to be incredibly selfish,
but I did beat Charlie Mulgrew
and Scott Brown at crossbar challenge.
And Jay Baruchel.
Oh, sorry.
I think that's my career highlight.
Everything else in my life
will fail in comparison to hearing that "ping!"
when that ball hit that crossbar.
That was pretty sweet, wasn't it?
And plus Scott Brown... It wasn't a bad effort, to be fair.
There's no higher praise. There's no higher praise!
I'm like, "Did anyone get that? Anyone get that on the audio?"
The audible sound of pre-ejaculate filling your underwear.
There's a technical term for that.
Oh, skeet, yeah. I could hear this little...
I heard this fuckin' "pfft" sound.
No, it's... y'know what,
there's nothing like friendship and someone
there supporting you through a key moment in your life.
No, thanks, buddy, I... no, I appreciate it.
No, it's good.
Yeah, I love you too.
"Hi, I'm Eoin... Ooooh! ...Callaghan."
So look, we, uh...
I've never been... I've never been to Celtic Park.
What can I expect tomorrow?
One of the big things that's changed is like
the whole approach to the Celtic Park.
The east end of Glasgow is under massive redevelopment.
So we missed our chance to see Celtic,
is what you're telling me?
You're being a real downer here, Gerry.
Fuckin' lamenting the good old days.
We just want you to tell us it's going to be exciting.
Well, obviously it goes without saying
that the thing that will strike you will be the atmosphere.
It's the songs.
I've been saying the whole trip I know once the songs kick in,
I'm going to become a fuckin' embarrassment.
How did you guys meet each other?
How did this kind of connection kind of happen?
Kind of the same as you.
Like, we were sort of, I guess,
like fans of each other or some shit,
and we started kind of just...
and we realized that we're both like fans
of the same fuckin' teams.
And so I was like, I'm coming to your city,
we should probably fuckin' hang out.
No, Twitter is the Grindr for straight guys.
So this is how we met, you know what I mean?
Hey, buddy, you want to hang out?
- It doesn't mean anything. - This isn't too weird at all!
Here's to the great fuckin' straight dude party, boys.
- My God. - My lord. Look at this.
Do you understand what we're getting to do right now?
Oh, my lord!
Holy smokes.
Oh, my God.
Stay off the white line? We're allowed, right?
Real quick, real quick, real quick.
Watch the line, watch the line.
Welcome, buddy.
Thank you.
This is pretty amazing.
Irish people don't emote at all.
It's not a thing we do. We're not comfortable with it.
So when you get a quivering lip,
or when you get your little twinkle in the eye,
and a little bit of moisture around the eyelids,
that's a big thing for us.
You think of how many players
have walked through that tunnel and onto that pitch,
and you just feel, you just feel ten foot tall.
You cannot compete with what Celtic has as a club.
The reason it was set up was to give something.
It was to be inclusive and open its doors.
So when you're here, you're reminded
about what sport can be.
That's what's been so great.
You know the Celtic fans around the world
are watching you.
I would be lying to them,
I've watched this show so many times.
Like I can't believe I'm actually sitting here.
- Ready to go? - We're ready, yeah.
Born ready.
Hello, and a very warm welcome
to today's The Match Day live show.
It's match day 26,
and in just under half an hour's time,
Celtic will be taking on Inverness Caley Thistle.
And joining me in the Celtic TV studio
for today's show is someone that has just admitted
he's usually at home watching this show.
- It's Jay Baruchel, everybody. - Hi there.
Jay, thank you so much for joining us.
It's amazing to have you in the studio.
Hey, thanks for having me.
This is your first game at Paradise, isn't it?
It is indeed, yeah,
It's a stadium that I've seen on TV,
on my computer, on Football Manager,
and on FIFA plenty of times.
But yeah, I've always been watching it from afar...
So I'm on hallowed ground now. It's pretty exciting.
And this is probably a silly question,
but how does it feel to be here?
I don't necessarily have the words.
I don't know that I can articulate it.
Like I wish I could play the voicemail
I left for my mom and step-dad yesterday.
We went to St. Mary's and I came outside
and I just left this
sort of sobby emotional message, like,
"And tomorrow I get to go to Celtic Park,
and I love you, I love you both."
So yeah, it's just, it's a very kind of positive
- emotional thing for me. - Brilliant.
Let's talk about Inverness and the challenge ahead.
How do you feel today's game will go?
I never want to be filled with too much confidence, right?
You know, in hockey, you never want to say shut-out,
because that's the guarantee that you won't get one.
I know you don't want to jinx it, but come on.
I'm gonna say three-nil.
- Yeah? three-nil? - I'm gonna say three-nil.
More goals for Griffiths or...?
Oh, yeah, definitely. At least one of those is his.
How come Mulgrew on the bench today?
'Cause of you, 'cause you showed them up at practice yesterday.
They got benched!
Atta boy!
Yikes!
He's got the responsibility to, like,
fuckin' open the game up, y'know?
Watch him. He's...
Atta boy. Hey, hey, hey!
Okay, good.
He's a fuckin' bulldog, eh, Brown?
He just couldn't give a shit.
Little pit-bull.
Guys were saying they met the groundskeeper here,
he's fuckin' called Willie.
No, he's not! He's not called Willie.
Oh!
He's fucking wrong side.
So we're in the visitors' end...
Shall I leave this here with you?
Yeah, have fun. Best of luck.
He's going to get a buzzing.
How are you? How's it going?
How are you?
Jay Baruchel!
How are you?
Let's hear it for Jay Baruchel.
Yes, sir?
Yeah, just get in there. Alright.
- Here we go. - £10,000.
- About $20,000. - Oh my gosh.
That's a life-changer, right there.
That can make a lot of difference in someone's life.
And a lot of hard work students as well.
No kidding, man. No, you were saying.
That's a down payment on a house, that's getting out of debt.
See, 40,000 people, man.
That's amazing!
I've seen interviews with you in the past.
Some stars in Hollywood will say they are Celtic fans.
You truly are and you are in fact a subscriber to Celtic TV.
You really do love the Hoops.
Yeah, no, it's completely legitimate.
It's been a dream come true,
and I still can't believe I'm here.
There's another ten yards.
Fuck's sake.
Oh, for fuck's sake!
Atta boy!
Bit of pressure. Fucking go!
Atta boy!
Come on, man!
Shoot! Yeah!
Fuckin' right!
I called it, man.
I fucking called it.
That was for you, that third goal, to get your prediction.
That's right! Thank you, boys!
You talk about iconic spaces,
you talk about history,
and you talk about the whole journey
that we've been on...
And we're finally here.
Ancestry, emigration, three countries,
and it all boils down to this.
And here we are. And I just want to thank you.
This has been wicked.
Thanks, buddy, I appreciate that.
The feeling is mutual.
I got to stand at centre ice at the Bell Centre,
centre pitch at Paradise,
and I got to go to the Claith Bay Historical Society too.
Hey, babe.
Happy birthday!
So wait for this...
Firstly, I got to meet John Collins,
and I actually got to shake his hand,
like boyhood idol.
Did I what?
"Skeet"?
Where did you hear that?
Subtitles by explosiveskull