Cassie?
- Cassie -Hmm?
Do you sleep on my bed again Last night?
No, I just entered here this morning
to cuddle with you
Like, I get that you are obsessed with me,
but you have, like, a very nice big bed,
and that's all, like, ten feet away
That's right is not difficult to walk to.
Well, your bed is much more comfortable.
I don't know It's strange to sleep without Matthew
I'm not first yet.
So you use me.
duh.
So who will make breakfast this morning
Mm, I succeeded last weekend, so you might be
Uh, no, I was successful last weekend.
No, indeed two weeks ago, remember?
No, that was last Saturday.
-Blueberry pancakes. -Good.
Stone, paper, scissors on it?
Good.
-Ready? -Mm-hmm.
-Very? -No? Good.
-Oh. No. -Good.
Okay, alright. Whatever. I will succeed.
Yes!
Under one con- tion.
-No! -Yes.
You have to promise never leave me Good?
Matthew is gone, and you have everything I have now
in my sadness and a quiet life.
That's a lot to ask instead of pancakes.
They are blueberry pancakes.
Good.
But only for pancakes.
Bacon melts cheeseburger,
Philly cheese steak.
The pulled pork sandwich
You will think they will do it have more vegetarian choices
Right? I mean, god forbids a vegan trying to eat here
- You know,
people who don't eat anything animal byproducts
Oh, we know what is vegan, dear We have Google at home.
Oh dear, don't call it "Google."
You make us look not cool
No, I think It's a kind of hipster of mine
- to call it "Google". -You know, even if it's wrong,
if you want to call him "Google,"
then we must support him
-Thank you. -Good.
Do you know what group of people tend to have
a lot of vegans, actually, is...
-Lesbians. -Oh really?
W-we need a few more minutes.
Thank you.
Embarrassing Matthew can't do it come out tonight
Uh, well, he's busy being...
Work night to pay his way through medical school
during the day
That's an ambitious one the man you have
You must be very proud -You are dating a doctor. -Hmm.
He will cure cancer one day.
Well, he's at chiropractic college
So he will be a chiropractor
But if you think it's one step closer to cure cancer,
then, of course, yes
He will save millions of lives
This place is really an anesthetic
Oh, very good from the word "drugs," dear
-Mm. -Many children
from campus hang out here
Like, the other day, we can't even enter
Because all softball teams are holding a party here
Do you know that most girls are on
softball teams -now - -let me guess.
-Lesbians? -What is lesbian?
I, um,
the internship in creative agents
-Mm. -Very beautiful.
-How many are paying? - Well, this is an internship.
So, I don't know, is like six numbers
-So nothing. -Uh,
I think it's ten dollars per diem
more than not at all.
How are you doing ten dollars a day?
I don't know Dumpster diving.
Seriously. We are worried about you.
It's a good thing that you have Matthew
Especially if you have cancer.
Do you know what? I will wait until
We order desserts, but I think I will only -
oh, I hope they have something
with bacon pieces on it.
I hear that like is really trendy now.
Bacon is my favorite food group
I don't mind a hot fudge sundae, though.
Ugh! I will share that with you
You know, with and some nuts on it.
-Salty, something sweet... -We will buy two spoons, okay?
Excuse me. I tried to tell you
something very difficult and heart wrenching,
and, I mean, that can kill me,
be a bit of respect, please.
John, put your fork
MacKenzie has neurological disorders or digestive disorders.
-I don't know. -Do not become indigestion.
I mean, he was barely touched the food
John, please focus our daughter
-He is dying -Thank you mom.
Hmm.
Mother...
Father...
I'm gay.
No no.
No.
God why?
No, MacKenzie.
How can you do that for us
What have we done? to get this?
Oh my God, no.
MacKenzie, no!
So what is the planning? for your trip in Europe?
Um, it's been postponed.
But this past summer you are free.
And soon Matthew will work all the time
You are not her to take work leave
to go gallivanting throughout Europe.
Maybe Matthew is just busy, baby,
with school and work.
-He will become a doctor. -I know that, honey.
I just thought I'd be nice for him to rest
of all from his hard work.
- You know, I'm just...
Okay, I'll just stop you there
Matthew and me
break up.
What does that mean?
That means we are no longer dating
- Oh...
Oh my God.
Shh! Shh! Shh!
Honey, we know.
What do you mean you know? How?
We read your diary every night when you go to sleep
- We are your parents
We only know these things.
And I found a copy "word l" under your bed
- like five years ago, -yes.
Alice is funny. I mean, Bette is terrible.
I hate you two.
What? What are you doing?
I do nothing.
Well, you must have done something for him to break with you.
Uh, actually, I left it.
But thanks for the assumption he dumped me
why did you break up with him
He is perfect for you. She's perfect for you.
He applied.
What?
Are you...
-A lesbian? -No.
I am not a lesbian. But what do you know?
Sometimes I hope so.
Don't say so Terrible.
- So...
Is that Cassie?
What is Cassie?
-What is your lover Cassie? -Eck. Eww.
Please never say "lover" again.
-Kekasih. -Ugh. Ugh.
And no, Cassie isn't gay.
Are you sure
Yes.
Besides, I haven't told him yet.
Tell him what?
That I'm gay.
Ah, don't worry about that, baby
- I'm sure he knows. -Mm-hmm. Honey, you are--
what are they say, John?
- one hundred footers -You are one hundred footers.
And you guys just really okay with this
To be honest, I am afraid you will tell us
-You are a vegan. -Yes.
I mean, I'm glad that you're gay
-I mean, men are bastards -Mm-hmm.
If I can become gay, I will.
That's disgusting.
-Baby. - And how are you doing?
That's terrible. That is worse than expected.
I don't even want to talk about it Oh, doll, that really sucks I'm sorry.
Like, they don't do it even care at all
They show there is no emotion at all
No, that's a lie.
They like are happy about that
Isn't that sick?
Yes, that sounds really destroys
I mean, it took me months until finally -
to call courage to come out to them
and then they just treat it like that is no big deal.
Well, I'm sorry, but that's a big problem.
Like, they aren't even upset at all
Isn't that chaotic?
Oh my God. Why aren't they angry?
Do they not love me?
They must be don't mind you
I mean, my parents said I was an abomination
and that I will burn in hell forever.
How to rub it on my face
Oh, and they don't even tell me
they are proud of me.
Is that not so? number one thing You should be
to tell your gay child when you come out for them,
like, proud of you from them
I'm pretty sure it entered a gay parent's handbook
They must be gone handbook
I can only come out to them once in my life,
and they are freaking it down for me with their kindness
and blatantly ignore for my feelings
Are you too listen to me?
- Oh no.
Cassie's house. I have to go, bitch.
Okay baby. Sorry your parents extraordinary
- Dirt.
Stop anything You do it right now.
We go to pizza hut buffet
I will commit carbides
I mean, before you say anything,
I know it's pizza but the buffet is nothing else,
rest peacefully pizza hut buffet,
but that doesn't mean we can't just order
like pizza bazillion and pretend it's still.
- right
This is not what it looks like.
I know what you have to think.
MacKenzie, are you watching lesbian porn?
Because I already told you that
"Bridget Jones diaphragm" is not the same film
No I...
OK, but for class.
Very? What class? I want to enter
Yes, like this women's study class.
I have to do this task in colonial posts gentrification
govern an urban landscape
posing in lesbian movies.
Have you just taken everything you remember
from your art theory class and everything?
That is actually what I just did
Hmm.
Well, it looks like you beat me to carbicide.
What happened?
Dinner with my parents is a kind of disaster
Very? What happened?
Uh, I just--
I say something to them, and they don't accept it the way I think they will do it
Your parents are like people who are most supportive
I know.
This is the worst.
What don't they do? the right way?
Do you know what? It is okay.
How do you have dinner with your parents?
Well, I told them I broke up with Matthew.
- Oh, damn it. How are you?
Um, alright, I guess
after crying hysterically and shouts stop
that actually goes pretty well.
I got a chocolate explosion cake for dessert
Fuck off. That is good.
-Do you bring me some? -mm-mm.
Yes.
-Yes. -Hah.
So, we will go
or I think we can continue watching lesbian porn
This is not lesbian pornography. It's a lesbian movie.
That art This is very different.
Lesbian porn dirty
Yes I know.
I don't even think that lesbian
who is lesbian lesbian is a true lesbian.
Well, like I see this where they are,
they use straps, and then they like
wear condoms on it and I like, "why?"
Why would you-- Why do you want to do that?
Extra protection, clear.
Well, I will stay on for my normal porn
People with paralysis with one leg and Asian tentacles -Thank you very much. -Hmm.
I was watching all sex scenes In lesbian, mom,
Do you call me pervert
Damn, man! Call me a pervert
Isn't it strange it feels different your life turns out to be
rather than the way you have planned?
Believe me, I know.
What do you want again? when were you raised?
-A tortoise ninja? -No!
I want to be ranger red power
-How can you forget? -Oh, yes.
Right. How I can?
You are the only girl who doesn't want
ranger pink power
Well, the red one Obviously the coolest
and the leader is like that.
And the hottest.
Right.
It's like I thought I knew what I was doing with my life You know, like, I have a plan
and I write it on paper.
I don't even say it on my phone
Like, I was killed a tree for that
I know. It's hanging in our fridge, mocking me
because it doesn't have a plan.
and screw everything.
Now look at me.
You are running a disaster
You are lucky I am still friends with you
I think I'm experiencing an anxiety attack
I don't really know, because I never really before,
-Do you have difficulty breathing? -No.
Do you feel super nervous
I don't think you know What is an anxiety attack.
There may be different forms of anxiety attacks.
Yes, I don't think so.
I don't know It's just that, Like, my whole life I think
I want traditional ones live, you know
Like, marry and have children,
and, I don't know, having a dog is wearing a small hat.
I mean you can still have a traditional life
-You know that. -I do not know.
Maybe I don't want traditional life.
You know, like, maybe I want to be promiscuous
and get cellphone, I don't know, the sky is the limit.
I think hpv & apos; s, like, is very common now.
You can get even crazier than that. You must go to clap.
Hey, Cassie.
I have to tell you something, and please don't panic.
But...
Oh my God.
Oh, you know.
Oh, shit, you know.
I made a big mistake.
My parents are right.
Good. Obviously you are experiencing mental disorders
because your parents are never right
You are not ready to get it married, which is good,
because you are 22
Who gets married at 22, cass?
Redneck, who is it
Maybe I want to be redneck.
OK, then go redneck.
I don't want to be redneck.
I think I know what happened to make you feel better
Do you remember when? I dated Andrew
-Oh, yes -Yes.
And he, like, the smallest dick ever?
Yes, you say is innie
First. First innie damn
I mean, I haven't seen a lot of dick in my life,
But the one is tiny.
That's very small
that when it scared him would like, disappear
Want, back to no left penis
I have never heard of it from a small dick
I mean, I think technically, I don't even lose my virginity.
So, I'm still a virgin.
Who is more sad now?
This one.
You are a 22 year old virgin.
Pastors have more sex than me.
Maybe my life isn't so bad.
Yes.
Hey, why are you saying I don't panic?
Only, like, don't panic
because your life is not so bad.
Oh, right
Thank you, bud Okay, what should I wear?
Is this a joke? They look identical.
This is a mixture of three, and this one is poly-cotton.
God, you are like that sometimes lesbian
Good, the one on the right.
I don't know This one smells despair
I go with poly-cotton.
I don't even know why you bother asking me
I have actually used this shirt for, like, a week now.
I just keep going, like, watering it with perfume
to hide b.O.
Oh my God, you are disgusting.
I am single.
I don't know what you will do do if you don't have me
Oh, here it is.
"Tum-blur"?
Tumblr.
This is new Facebook for lesbian
Hell, this is a new eharmony for lesbians
I have a Pinterest account. Can I use it?
No, are you a 50-year-old mother or planning your wedding?
No. Remove the account immediately.
I'm like, shame for you
Okay, so, let's make it Your profile.
You totes adorbs So, believe me, women
will be above you
Good.
I have to choose a theme. What about sports?
Oh God, perfect.
Lesbians like sports.
How do you know all this?
Tumblr, duh.
Hey, I'm MacKenzie,
just came out, just turned 22
I like comics,
puppies, and astronomy.
I love you.
Yes, that's all I have.
Regardless, nobody reads the item anyways They are more interested in yourself
-Gimme of your phone -Oh.
Mmm.
Okay, do, like, pouty sexy face,
but looks like you don't try
Can you like wrinkles Your nose is a little?
More lips.
Like you don't take Damn though.
Now smile through your eyes.
Oh my God, less fainting.
Eww. They just keep going getting worse.
Okay, maybe I can find a pretty picture that you have taken
and then make it look better on Instagram
-Good. -Okay, umm...
Oh, this one. It's perfect.
Okay, I just went to cut Cassie out
Voila, this is life
I will give it a week, and you will have a girlfriend in a short time
So how's Cassie?
I have not seen the bitch in a few weeks.
He is good. He is really busy
with apprenticeship and school items.
And how can he? that when you told him?
Tell him what?
That's what you decided to join LPGA
I haven't told him yet.
I'm sorry, what? I mean, he must know.
He must know.
I mean, look at you.
I'm pretty good at hiding my lesbianism, Levi.
I have done that for 22 years Oh dear, no. No, not yet.
Well Cassie doesn't know.
What are you waiting for?
She's your best friend
He won't care.
I know that he won't care,
it's just...
I don't know
I am worried about making things change between us.
Like, how about him? Does it get weird?
I am worried about messing things up You are being too dramatic
Trust me, he won't care I mean, it's worse that you lie to him.
I didn't lie to him,
I'm just not telling the truth
You don't want him to find it out of someone else
Anyway, I'm sure he knows you're a hundred footers
Why does everyone continue to say that? Why are lesbians? like this?
I don't have clothes. I don't have anything.
Looks like I'm wearing clothes
I have to go shopping. What are you doing today?
None. And, no, I will do it don't go shopping with you
Yes, you. I can't go alone.
Contact Levi, she misses you
Plus, I'm sure I'm sure he wants a reason to pass the class
I did call Levi and he was busy
-So I'm your backup -You always back up me
Well, look for someone else because I don't go
-Yes, you go -No, not me.
I'll buy you pretzels.
Like it. Yellow becomes your color.
Buy it, let's go
I don't know if I like patterns.
Oh, like, it's the style I want
Yes, the ass the combination is just big,
and then with his shoes,
it only comes together very good
You are right, you should bring Levi
duh.
Oh, what about this one?
I love them all. I am really bored.
My legs hurt, I want to sit
I don't buy you pretzels
so you can complain all the time.
This is a thousandth of the stores we have visited
I don't even know what you are looking for again
Dresses, pants, shoes, You have tried everything.
I just got out of a serious relationship.
I need to get rid of a lot of things it reminds me of Matthew.
So, everything.
Yes.
I also want cinnamon bread.
-Good. -Yes.
Hmm.
I don't know, I will do it try both.
Is it too summer?
I don't know, it's hot out,
so I don't think you Will be cold in that.
Yeah, but spring.
-So? -So, is it too summer for spring?
I am very lost now.
I don't know I think it's too summer.
I will try on the other side.
Good. No problem, I will do it Stand here, dying of hunger.
Mac.
Hi how are you?
Matthew, my clothes
Yes, here.
So, uh, what are you with Cassie here
Uh...
I don't know
What? You - you don't know
What about this, but with, like, belt?
Uh...
Hi.
I don't know about this one.
Do I look messed up?
Like who wants fuck me in this case Nothing
No one will fuck you in the dress
That, like, is very strange.
How long will you be?
Your little cousin seems like an extraordinary person
He - he is not me - my cousin.
Uh, MacKenzie, can you? come here for a moment
I, uh, think of my dress jam.
Why did you leave me try this shirt?
I look like an idiot.
I told you to bring Levi.
I don't know anything about this nonsense
I just came for goddamn god pretzels
promised to me
Who is he is the girl with him?
I will guess wildly
and say that new boyfriend
So good he is to wait like five minutes after I throw it away
Don't worry, he's just a girl rebounding
He looks stupid like making love
and total bitch with high care
Oh, wait for him to date you, so you have to worry
Guess who just got it their cinnamon buns are taken.
You won't do it.
God, I can't believe it he saw me in this dress
You will only change? OK good.
Are they still out there?
Yes.
We stayed here until they left
Oh, yes, because it's not Will look weird or anything.
Can I use your phone to swipe left to get rid of uglies?
Ugh.
Uh.
Oh my God.
Do you want to talk to me?
I heard you broke up with your girlfriend
I know that might be the reason
Your value has has slipped
It's so amazing creepy that you know that.
I know you are smarter than that,
so I won't worry about that too much
OK thank you.
Just a reminder, though,
You will not pass in spring
if you fail one more task,
because you will go failed this class
Are you blocking me, Reese?
So when you tell me there's no need to worry,
do you mean actually that I have to worry?
Maybe Matthew can be your tutor
We break up.
Oh that's right.
That's where this conversation starts
Okay thanks for this talk
Look, my door is always open
as long as I am appointed working hours.
It was 7:00 to 8:00 A.M. every first Saturday of each month.
Cool.
Hey.
Hi.
OK, so I need to help me out
My colleague there - don't look
They bet that twenty dollars
I can't get your number Don't look
And like, not only me really want twenty dollars,
but they always make fun of me
because I always blow it with girls
and they think I need boyfriend
or the same as more experience,
and now I'm really over sharing,
so if you can like laughing so hard
and pretend I said something super funny
and may look like you think about being to me -
they bet that you can't get my number
Yes, Alright, straight girl.
You think I'm straight
So, you can give me my number
Or number? I promise not go to your text or anything.
Yes. Well, actually I have this number
it's like this fake phone number,
that you give to people when they hit you
And you don't want to actually give your number,
and then they call it
and like this voicemail is like,
"the person you are calling gives you a fake phone number
I hope you feel like a giant loser, loser."
It's impossible, it's nothing
I swear to God. I use it all the time.
I say "all the time" like I was hit all the time.
Actually I've been used to like seven times.
Six times.
I have used it three times.
Wow, and I think so will be all sweet and so on
with your cute lunch is a little packed
and adorable you small backpack
I mean you're eating peanut butter and agar.
Girl who destroys ego
Don't eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Oh no, no, they do.
Yes, they eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
and they drink juice box
To be fair, I usually just give that number to guys
because of one, usually the only one that hit me
and two, I don't like them.
Oh, I think...
So, yes, I will give you my number
But, you know, just because I want you to win the bet.
Yes, really fair to win bets
I will throw this number goes
once I get it twenty dollars I
I won't look at it or put it on my cellphone
or like, text later.
That definitely won't happen.
Good, because I don't want to want you for my text,
and I will definitely do it instead of texting you back
Duh, and then when you don't send me back,
I don't need to ask your if you want
to go to dinner or see a film together.
Good, because I'm sure -
definitely won't say yes for all that
That's how we are on the same page.
We are on the same page.
Hiya, hi, how are you doing?
Hey, uh, everything is great.
Um, yes, I only see e-mails you sent to clients,
and I notice you don't sign it, "best regards."
I see?
Yes, of course, obviously not Attention, that's all
remember on the first day you started working here
and I always tell you our e-mails
with respect "?
Yes, I think so are just suggestions.
Oh, yes, this, um, it's like one of them
that suggestion You always want to do it.
So , I'm sure it's okay,
It's just that I think our boss is really upset with you
Are you making love to me
What?
I'm not even.
Oh my God, it's very sucks
What's wrong, Amy?
You don't get the e-mail?
What e-mail
Oh my God, this is very strange,
um, you just got fired
I'm pretty sure you have cced
I was fired?
Yes, total homelessness.
I mean, because, like, you're just an apprentice
and who fired the apprentice?
Because you aren't even paid.
This must happen sort of a joke, right?
Um, but it should be so might start packing raise your stuff
Um, oh, but not until after lunch,
because you need Still go get it, okay?
-Cassie. -What, Amy?
It's not yours friend, MacKenzie
I've read the blog.
He is funny.
I only love her a positive outlook on life.
Is he single?
Cassie.
You might wonder why I have developed a preference for
baseball and lesbian films in the past few weeks.
That is because it comes to me attention, at this time, that -
Dude, what's the matter?
What do you mean by this? What are you doing
You almost broke your face
How can you
I think we are good friends.
What are you talking about?
Oh, I don't know, MacKenzie,
maybe you can say you're gay?
Yes, you tell everyone at Damn world except me.
Fucking Levi, I will kill him.
No, not Levi, you're an idiot.
You put it on your blog.
Can you see my blog?
First of all, everyone in the world can see your blog
The second, I work on social media, so my job is tumblr.
-Oh. -Yeah, oh.
Why don't you tell me?
Listen, I'm sorry I just - I'm not ready yet to tell you
You have in front of me, MacKenzie.
I have seen you shit.
And you can't just like that tell me you're gay
I know!
I mean, okay, that's It's not the same thing.
-Do you think I am? want to care -No.
Then I don't understand why You don't just tell me.
Okay, I never saved it anything from you
I know. I am just - I'm not ready yet.
But you are right ready to sprinkle everything on the Internet.
Well, Levi is the one who made me get tumblr,
so don't start with that.
I don't even know how to use that object
Yes, I noticed, okay?
You don't even mark your photos
I don't know how you expect anyone to follow you
Yes, look, I don't know what are you talking about It's still not clear why don't you tell it
Do you know how ill find out online,
not only from you?
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry that I didn't say
and you know on the internet.
But this, for once, is not about you
It's about me.
I decide when I want to leave
I decide when I tell my parents or Levi, or you.
I'm not you
Have you told Levi or your parents?
Yes?
What is it, man?
You take this path out of proportion.
I think this shows that I really care about you.
I am the most worried to tell you
Does that not mean anything for you
No, no.
Because I should be the one you visited
when something important is happening in your life
Not Levi. Not your parents. I.
And to find out that you can't even talk to me
about this something important then...
I don't even know what the point is Become a friend again.
Oh, this is chaotic.
You make this mess.
Good. Shut up. Whatever, I handle it.
I can't stand it anymore. I feel I have lost you.
It's been 12 hours.
Well, it feels like year to me, okay
I want to talk about this and You are the bastard.
-Oh, I'm a bastard? -Yes, you're a jerk
The whole reason I'm not tell me I'm gay
is because of this - exactly what are you doing now
What do I do now?
You make something between us weird and awkward
I am not angry because you are gay
I'm crazy because you didn't tell me
Do you know how hard it is to come out?
-Of course not. -Persis. Of course not.
I will no longer apologize because I didn't tell you earlier.
Look, everything is really rough for me, okay?
My parents are too supportive,
Levi tries for my prostitute to come out,
and believe it or not, it's actually very difficult don't talk to you about this all
I think I'm just upset with...
I just need someone to take it out
Well, take out to your parents,
it's clear are they there for
Are we good
Yes, we are fine.
Because it doesn't feel like like us is fine
-Okay, now we go it's okay, okay -Good.
-Good.
I've said "okay" so much at the last minute,
I don't even know what it means anymore
Yes.
No.
-So, straight. -Mm-hmm.
-Lurus. -Mm-hmm.
Unfortunately, straight.
Uh, gay
Um, gay, gay,
straight?
No, that's all straight girl, baby
How can you know just by looking at them?
Years of practice, honey.
I have my gaydar perfected.
-Okay, look at the girl near the tree? -Yes.
Gay.
How can you say that? far away from here?
I can. Good. Try again.
Um...
Hey.
Hey, whore
Done for today?
-Yes. -Good.
What are you doing?
Just try to teach us dyke little baby here
how to use gaydar
I think I've started very good in that matter
No.
Well, who do we see? Can I try
Why? You are straight
I don't know It's possible to save me from others
15 years destroying on bass Lance
Bless him
Is that um...
That's what I thought.
Who sent sms?
Elliot.
Already sent an SMS to for like two weeks, without stopping.
You don't know that Elliot
I mean, lots of people text me,
like you or Cassie or my mother
Does your mother call you?
No.
Thinking so.
Who is Elliot
Elliot, I told you about him. I met her after class one day.
No, you never mentioned it.
Oh, I mean, it's not a big deal I met a girl, her name was Elliot and that was all
And he wants to ride his face
Maybe just a little.
-He plays soccer. -You hate sports
I like girls who play sports,
and that's all that's important.
You have to invite to our party on Saturday
Yes? I really want you people to meet him
I think you will love him.
He is very cool. I mean, obviously isn't as cool as mine,
but like who?
Gay, straight, gay?
-Sial. -Do not close even.
I'm thinking of ordering a pizza.
What do you want in your half?
I'm not really hungry. I might not have it.
But you're always hungry.
Hey.
Yes. Right now? There is no.
Yes, I'm starving, obviously.
I'll meet you there like ten minutes.
Oh, you came to the party tonight right?
Oh my God, MacKenzie.
Where are all these people?
I don't know Just like ten people say they will come
I might have texted some extra people.
I mean, ten people a meeting, woman.
This is a party.
Can we get some Beyonce here?
Oh my God.
-Why are they here? -To destroy your life
I don't believe he took it.
Well, I mean, I can, because they are dating But you know what I mean.
This is amazing
Has he got it? period yet? He looks 12.
Give this
Eww, what is that?
Peach schnapps.
God, You are a lesbian.
Where is your lover
He is not my lover,
because we haven't "loved" yet.
He is playing beer pong.
Why don't you go talk to him?
I don't know I don't want to bother him.
Oh!
Where did you find it?
Yolo, bitches!
Please never say that again.
You are white
Hey, I'll let you have this one
-Let me have it? I won it's fair and square -Yes.
- Beer pong cup, -but I need to remind you this is the only time,
-You once beat me. -Is tearing out of you dead hand...
And the sex is so great.
Mind if we sit down?
Yes, of course.
Oh sorry. Promise, I don't know what I'm going to do
I will go to the bathroom. Okay bye.
Uh, hey.
Hey.
Are you okay?
Yes I'm fine.
Cool.
Where do you go?
So, Tasha.
-That's Tasha, isn't it? -Yes.
What is your direction?
Bachelor of art.
Oh cool.
-What in? -College.
Love you, goodbye
-Hey. -Hi.
Are you good?
Yes. I am doing fine. We already have the conversation.
Right, yes
Are you okay?
Yes.
Okay then.
What is this? MacKenzie do?
Does he suffer from diarrhea or something?
Eww.
As long as you know, I don't know what I'm doing.
Honestly, neither do I.
Cool.
-Hey, whore -Save me, whore Save me.
Who are you?
I'm Tasha.
I don't care.
Where is MacKenzie?
I don't know He has diarrhea or the like
Ew, ew, ew.
-No no no. -I can save him
Go
Hey, not when you experience diarrhea
I don't have diarrhea.
Not me.
This is my third beer and I don't even feel anything I'm like a tank.
I hate being a tank.
I want liquor
Go take liquor.
Right, sorry Yes, liquor So who are you? Do you like to go to this school? I'm Cassie.
Former Matthew, Cassie.
He never calls Cassie.
We broke up like three months ago.
And he starts dating you, like, a second after I dump him.
I think I'm drunk.
Ugh, alright.
See you later, Kathy.
See you soon
Hey, hey.
Where do you go?
I only need fresh air.
-Hey. -Oh, jeez.
What are you doing here?
I think I'll accompany you.
Do you want to talk?
I'm good thanks.
Well, you look upset.
I'm fine.
Just go fuck inside, well?
Hey, this is mack, by the way a little.
EW, why did I say that?
MacKenzie, pick it up.
Okay, Matthew only tries to kiss me,
and he is disgusting beer breath
And do you see that? asshole jerk she tries to grow up?
Dirt. I'm sorry, that offends you?
I don't know
And I just stabbed The stupid and pesky preschooler boyfriend on face
And I'm pretty sure I get my period,
So, please just stop shitting
and meet me on our bench, okay
I need you.
He left this last night.
The only thing I will experience has his own again
Oh my God, give me the details.
Ugh, that's terrible.
No, it's not even terrible, because it's good
And that's terrible.
Why, what happened?
Okay, I'm pretty sure I just told you this
because I was still drunk from last night
Yes, I can still smell schnapps peach
on your breath, baby
This is rather disgusting.
Alright, like, we are making out on my bed
- and things that happen really yes you know? -Yes.
-I like taking off his shirt, -oh.
-And like to touch it boobies and so on. -Spirit.
- And I like, yes, like it, I will do this. -Right.
I will do this. I will do it.
-So I stuck my finger there. -Right.
And then I just leave it.
You just left what
My finger?
I just let it sit there like tampon fucks.
Oh come on, are you fair will stand there
and doesn't make fun of from our little homo?
I don't know, Levi, he is clearly backward.
I don't know what the finger is
I think that there is over.
Honey, I'm gay,
and I know it's not how you are someone's finger
What is the use of watching all that lesbian porn?
I'm so embarrassed.
You must.
And where are you? left last night, little missy?
Leave your own party like a diva?
I just have to get out.
I can't deal with Matthew
and the prostitute boyfriend again.
They leave immediately after you throw
Maybe for bang.
Thank you. It makes me feel much better
I don't understand. You broke up with him.
Do you want to go back? together or something?
I don't know, it's just like every time--
-apa, this is Elliot. -Yes.
Hey, I don't think I ever will talk to you again
Do you believe me if I tell you my finger is asleep?
Oh, the girl fell in love.
-It's adorable. -Yeah, and rightly so is really selfish
Oh no.
MacKenzie finally actually likes someone
You must just be blessed
I am happy for him.
Just like, why? he must be very happy
My life is a mess. -Oh, my God.
What? It's like he never had it time for me or us again
It's all about Elliot.
What's amazing about Elliot
He isn't even funny.
He has some big breasts, though.
I have good breasts.
Yeah, but MacKenzie isn't allowed to put that...
In his mouth.
-Girls are pigs like that. -I know, tell me about it.
Reese, are you going to leave? ask me about Matthew again?
Because I really don't want to talk about him
No, I am ready Taught by the Dean.
Apparently, I crossed several limits.
You know, I thought it was very creepy that he even knows about it.
And I just want to know what your plan is for graduation.
Every job is lined up?
Well, I'm fired from an internship,
so the job pool looks a little shallow
You know, I really know someone
who works in creative agents
and they are looking for for junior copywriters
And I advise you.
- Are you serious? -I.
Oh my God, this is extraordinary.
Position starts immediately,
So it must be perfect for when you pass -Good.
- They want to meet you -Good.
And this is the name of the person,
and the name is and contact information
from creative director
- Give them a phone if you are interested -Okay, yeah.
Wow.
Reese, if you don't like it my old version of gbf,
I will really kiss it you now
You have a sticker on your ceiling
What?
Oh yeah. That's them, You know, star stickers.
What?
You know, the star sticker
from the solar system, They glow in the dark.
That is very embarrassing.
- Oh. Oh, is that embarrassing? - Mm-hmm.
I have light in the darkness The solar system is embarrassing,
but I stick out my finger in your vagina to take comfortably take a nap,
That's not embarrassing.
Whoa, who says no is embarrassing?
Even then is more embarrassing
So, can I kiss you now?
Yes. I thought we were past
where you need to ask
Good.
Just checking.
Let me turn this off really, really fast
What is that?
Oh, this is just my tumblr.
You have tumblr
Oh yeah, I'm really gay.
Who is the girl?
Oh, that's shawntelle.
Shawntelle?
Yes, he's my friend
Well, technically he's my tumblr boyfriend
-You have a girlfriend tumblr? -Yes. Can you trust it
I don't even know what he saw like in real life
I can get catfished for all I know
He, like, lives in Texas or something.
What happened now?
Will you leave?
Yes, sir, I'm leaving.
Why? I thought we would go go get ice cream
Because you have a boyfriend.
A girl--?
No, he's a tumblr boyfriend.
He may be 50 years old
and have two mental challenged boys
Sorry to look after you. I hope you don't wait.
Oh no, not at all.
Hi, Cassie.
Juliana. Thank you. Please, sit.
Cassie, where are you
Come on, lift it up. Pick up. Pick up.
Hey, baby, I can't really talk now
I think I'm really Things are chaotic.
What - are you--
Do you have sex right now?
Yes, honey, I told you I can't really talk now
This is a bad time.
This is really the right time.
Why do you also answer the phone?
I'm the lowest, so it's not like that I really did anything I don't need to know that.
Call me back when you have finished
Oh, oh, God. Now I just think of you finishing
OK, baby, baby
Hello? Just kidding.
This is Cassie's voice message.
Mack, this is Cassie. I mean, Cassie, this is mack.
MacKenzie.
I think Elliot just dumped it I because I'm stupid,
fucking, shitty-ass boyfriend tumblr
who's not even fucking there
Like, why don't they tell you? in terms and conditions
if you have a tumblr girlfriend
it seems important as real
Like, how damn stupid What is that?
What's the use one of them?
To send song lyrics and pictures back and forth to.
Can I screw one of the songs? lyrics, Cassie
No, no, I can't.
I mean, technically I can't.
Maybe like, I can emotionally, somehow, or anyways
Elliot knows and now he hates me.
At least I thought he was, I don't know
He rushed out of here.
I think I love him, Cassie.
I mean, of course, I'm not because it's been like a month
But I really, like him.
You have to help me, I don't know what to do
We need to win it again.
Oh yeah. I just say "we". This is now a team effort.
I will get ice cream. Meet me on our bench, you know?
Like, stop what you are doing now and come to see me
Like, right now.
Okay bye.
Hello? Just kidding,
This is Cassie's voice message.
Seriously?
Don't do it I don't want to hear it.
What do you mean don't want to hear?
I mean, I don't want to hear it You complain about
whatever it is you go to complain about
I don't care I don't care about your problem, MacKenzie
And I especially don't care about about anything
You do to screw you up relationship with Elliot
This might be surprising, but it's your job
as my best friend to care about these things
You have to listen to and let me vent
about whatever I want to vent.
So, if I want to complain all day
about stupid women in snuggie ads
who doesn't even know how to read fucking blankets on it,
like, actually, if you have trouble reading
and keep the blanket on you,
then you must have your children taken away
because obviously not is suitable for being a parent
Then you will agree and you will confide with me,
because that's the case best friend
No, no.
Not that best friend, MacKenzie.
Best friends tell each other
when they think other people's existence stupid and silly
Do you hear that?
honest best friend
Oh Oh. What is it we do now
We are honest with each other.
Okay, yes, of course, I can be honest Let's be honest.
Your plan, this life plan,
is the stupidest thing I've seen in my life.
Like, what is this point?
Why do you still have this? hanging in our refrigerator?
Do you laminate your life plan?
At least I still think about what the future I want
What are you doing with your life
besides getting catfished on the internet?
Oh, don't take it shawntelle to this
You are so involved, You don't even realize it
I have a job interview today
for my dream job at creative agency
Okay, so maybe not my dream job,
because my dream job involves Ryan Gosling feeds me wine,
but still very good job
And you don't even know
because if you don't have it has something to do with you,
You don't even care.
Very? Really, Cassie?
You call me involved yourself?
What about this one?
You don't even know that I'm gay
Everyone, literally everyone can tell you,
but my angry lesbianism doesn't even bother you
because you are so wrapped in your head
You have a boyfriend
You are dating Andrew
So how can I know?
Do you think that I actually like to date Andrew?
The only reason that I dated him
because the penis is very small it's beautiful is just a pussy.
And as my best friend You must know this.
Oh God, what do you know?
That is a mistake.
17 years ago, when I saw that you had Ken Beach time,
and I have Barbie ball dresses, and I think they can just get married,
and we can play together.
I have Ken Beach time,
and you still don't know that I'm gay
You know what, Maybe this friendship
it should not be to survive this long.
Good.
I don't know if you think I'm kidding,
but I'm serious.
I am more than this friendship.
Good.
Then I hope you enjoy single, live quiet, Cassie.
With all your friends on Facebook and Twitter
Because of newsflash, they aren't Your attention is like me.
I hope you grab your dirt so you can get out,
because I don't want your here again
Of course, that's what I'm doing
I go, and it turns out it's not because you kicked me out,
this is because I choose to go.
Good, because I can't stand around you.
-Great. -Alright then.
-All right then. -Then just leave.
That's the truth I will do.
-Go. -Good.
Go.
In my hand, I hold one last rose.
Do you know what? I have to appear on a reality show.
Damn that happened to me, that's ridiculous.
People will be happy watching my life
What did you say tonight?
-This. -Heat.
What is your lover doing? It's Saturday.
I don't have a lover anymore, remember?
I have a boyfriend or girlfriend, it's possible
40 years old, bald shop workers.
Ew.
What did you do tonight?
Ordinary.
Can I come?
This is a group of us gay, so... no
But I'm gay now.
You're a lesbian, baby
What's the difference?
Oh my God.
Oh, sometimes you're very funny.
This is very charming, don't worry
I gave it to him, like I gave his heart.
This is tragic.
Oh, I have to get ready.
Um, do you want the rest of my burrito?
Of course I want your burrito
I know, I always can rely on you
Oh shit.
Christine, you're funny,
smart, cultured, generous.
And one of the most interesting people I've met
But I have to give I finally climbed to Brittany
because he is too hot
Hey.
What are you doing?
Do you want to come?
Hi.
Hey.
Don't wait.
Dirt. Actually not think you actually will be here
Why?
It's like Friday night 11:00
I suspect you will come out drink or something
It's Saturday night.
Look, I don't even know my own life
Well, we have a tour tomorrow, so...
Right, for football.
Yes.
I send you a collection of text.
I have never heard from you.
I got it
Can I enter? I really want to talk to you
I don't think so.
I have to get up early to go for tomorrow's tournament,
and, to be honest, I just don't really want to talk to you right now.
Oh yes, no, that's true can be understood
I can just say again that I'm really sorry
I'm stupid, okay? Like, really really stupid.
Like, should be tested stupid. I think that is quite clear.
I'm new to all this. I just don't know about the whole...
Tumblr boyfriend thing.
No, that is ignorance.
See you later, mack.
Fuck.
Where do you go?
Well, the game show channel calls my name, so...
Cool.
I go down to watch TV.
Oh, um...
It's awkward.
This is just a Booty call, okay, so...
I just want some Booty.
What?
You know, I have a boyfriend.
Yes, and it's clear You really like it.
So, I will go watch the feud
But thanks for meeting my needs
Well, that's difficult.
Laura, for you.
We surveyed 100 women and asked what was worst -
I will only return because I need more underwear.
Text messages.
What was that?
What is it
Mack.
Are you fighting or something?
He is a prostitute who engages himself and a bad friend.
I think I wear more underwear.
Apparently I only have three pairs That bright day.
See you later, Matthew.
Yes, goodbye.
What is the worst way get rid of someone
Juliana.
It's very good to meet you again
Hi, Cassie.
It's nice to see you again too
I have some news that I think You will be interested.
really ridiculous and overreact?
Well, I don't know, I guess.
It's tumblr, like relaxing.
Maybe you should talk to him.
I've tried talking For him, I went to his house,
but he slammed it the door on my face
He won't do it return my phone, my text. I'm out of ideas.
What if you send flowers? Girls love flowers.
I think if you like this girl, you have to be right try to make it work
Because it sounds like that I is that you are by his side.
I am Swiss.
What are there to do?
You are the father who laughs hysterically now.
You guys are so weird
You have to bitching with me.
Say something meaningful Elliot so I feel better. Go.
When your father and I are watch "word l"
and Bette deceives Tina, He sends flowers and apologizes.
So I think so what do you have to do
Oh, and write a note that says "You hold all the cards."
I don't know, baby, Maybe you should talk
I hope he uses protection.
Well, this conversation doesn't help at all
Are all women crazy and dramatic
Maybe.
Where you and dad say tonight
We talk to you, honey.
No, say, what are you doing?
Oh, I need to look up the slang word
We will play golf with Tracy and Steve.
Gay.
You shouldn't do it say that.
No, no, I am allowed to say it
I'm gay so it's okay, like, all blacks are permitted
- to call themselves-- -I don't think so.
I'm miserable
Oh dear, your father shouted at me We are late.
Sorry, pumpkin, we have to go.
But I just told you I suffer.
We love you.
I hate you.
I come with you
I'm included in New York.
Like, look at this face. This is really the face of New York.
Do you know rent for 300 square feet apartments like $ 1800?
Okay, maybe I have more from L.A's face.
So, I haven't heard it MacKenzie in a few days.
I assume he lost his mind.
From what?
You moved to New York.
It can be. I didn't even tell him.
You're fucking kidding me
He doesn't tell me he's gay,
so I won't tell him I'm moving
Yes, it's not the same thing at all, you know that right?
Well, why not? tell him then
Okay, I'm just really tired being gbf
it just literally helps you both with your problem.
I have life too, you know?
Do you know I can speak three languages?
You don't.
Okay, correction, I can if I study it
Enter it on your resume.
I mean, how are you guys? even argue about?
You have three minutes to tell me,
because I have a date tonight
What? It's 11:00.
Okay, Grandma.
MacKenzie is fair becomes involved alone
It's like he has a girlfriend and really forgot I was there.
This comes from the girl who doesn't know
that his best friend is gay.
Okay, what do you know? He has a girlfriend.
And, of course, the fashion sense is not the biggest,
But he is color blind
and many girls like hiking and extraordinary things
and have a poster from Michelle Rodriguez on...
Dirt.
That's it.
-Mm-hmm. -Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Alright
I moved to New York, and I didn't tell him
That's all
Okay, look, you're a big girl. You can do whatever you want.
I'm just a very sexy gay man who gives extraordinary advice,
so you don't need to listen to for me or anything,
but you go to regret this
Just as you will regret this clothes you wear tonight.
MacKenzie bought me this shirt
from choking some sort of food
He needs to learn to stop Talk when he is eating,
it rebels
What if he doesn't want me? in his life again?
I mean, he's gay now.
And I'm straight, so we have nothing in common
You are very dramatic.
MacKenzie always has been gay, baby
So, guess what?
Nothing has changed.
Don't damage this friendship, literally, like, nothing You give very good advice
I know. I think I should have done it my own morning talk show
Oh my god, I will really not see that
I will never take you, if you know.
Fuck this damn site.
Cannot be trusted.
What the hell is this a bastard?
Oh, shit.
How I don't know you're a lesbian
Where is the key is my key?
Hey.
Are you serious go without telling me
No, I'm really on the way, now, to tell you
Dear God, we are very similar.
New York, huh?
What will we do?
I think we will only have to have sex every day
until you can visit me on weekends?
Listen, I want to give you this great apology speech
about what sucks my friend -
You don't need to do it.
I think we both say the things we regret and...
We are both very kind bad friends lately.
I'm sorry.
I'm right
I also apologize.
Actually... I actually wrote a song about that
-What? -Yes.
I wrote this song when I heard it You will go,
and I just think, like,
"It's like the perfect way to send it away."
So I'll just sing it now, okay
-Oh. -Good.
We start, I will sing it.
What?
Oh my God. I'm obviously joking.
I can't even through this
-Okay, I'm like "what What is happening now?" -Jesus Christ.
I like, "I don't know how
I will only pretend to enjoy this annoying song
that he prepares for me."
Good.
Actually I have something for you, though
Oh my God.
Is this Ken Beach time?
In meat
Literally in meat.
I can't find her clothes anywhere
You need something
to remind you in New York.
Wait.
This is for you.
Is this ball gown Barbie?
I will fucking miss you, You are a loser.
I can't find it anywhere. Where is it?
Hmm? What are you looking for?
Shirt. God is damned t-shirt, baby
Um, what does it look like? I will help you see.
This is pink and is written "sweet greetings" on it.
I don't understand.
This is a joke in with Cassie, it's okay.
You hide something from me now
-You know that Cassie and I are ex-lovers, right? -Mm-hmm.
-You are jealous? -Yes.
No, no, baby, we have to be there in like 20 minutes.
Yes, That won't stop me.
Wait, wait, what time is it?
-What? -What time is it now?
I don't know, 2:25.
Damn, we're late.
-Yes. -Okay, go faster.