1 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:26,100 2 00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:29,628 - The tropical places, you know, that's the go-to, 3 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,097 get your white sands and your blue water, 4 00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:35,000 and your fuckin' guava trees and whatever, 5 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:38,337 and it makes a beautiful postcard, but I burn. 6 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,072 And I can't, you know, it's just not, 7 00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:42,474 it's not relaxing to me if I got my Mai tai 8 00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:44,576 and my pina-umbrella-whatever thing, 9 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:47,613 and I forget to put on my SPF infinity, 10 00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:50,082 sweater in a bottle, and then the next day, 11 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,251 I can't wipe my own ass without discomfort, 12 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,019 exceptional discomfort. 13 00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:56,755 And then, I gotta stay outta the sun 14 00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,190 and deal with all that bullshit, 15 00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,359 and what's the point of being in the tropics 16 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,761 if you gotta act like some fuckin' nerd on summer break 17 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:05,964 reading a hobbit book in his bedroom. 18 00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:08,367 So a more temperate climate, 19 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,771 that's what I'm lookin' for from this, 20 00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,574 from a getaway standpoint. 21 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,875 What about you? 22 00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:21,213 - It'd be nice to meet somebody. 23 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:26,385 - What? You know, just somebody new, get unstuck. 24 00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:28,654 - That's kind of a lot to pin on a, 25 00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:32,057 I'm just sayin', I was talking about a more temperate climate and you're talkin' about 26 00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:35,360 some measure of human emotion, one of which, 27 00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,362 by the way, you can find on a map. 28 00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:38,464 - We're just talking here, right? 29 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,399 - Sure. Well, you're goin' off like we just pulled 30 00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:41,800 some master diamond heist. 31 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:42,801 - I'm just saying eventually... 32 00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:43,936 - haven't even found a place... 33 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:46,705 - we are looking, right? 34 00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:50,409 There's the check cashing place we talked about. 35 00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,411 Mm, that's a rough crowd, 36 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:56,682 something goes wrong, it goes all the way wrong. 37 00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:57,826 The flower shop... 38 00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:01,253 No, she's nice, and I met her daughter that one time, 39 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:02,221 so that makes it really... 40 00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:03,422 - you shouldn't have been shopping there. 41 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:04,490 - I was casing the joint! 42 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:05,624 - You could've cased the fuckin' Louvre 43 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,959 for the amount of time you spent there! 44 00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:09,061 - She has nice eyes and she found her passion in flowers, 45 00:02:09,063 --> 00:02:10,662 and I don't wanna rob her! 46 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,197 Some people have no idea what they wanna do 47 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:13,098 with their lives and she... 48 00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,433 - fine, fine, I get it! 49 00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,902 - Besides, I found the place. 50 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,238 - I found the flower shop. 51 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,306 - No, I mean, the place. 52 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:23,709 - Yeah? 53 00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:26,111 - Yeah, it's perfect. 54 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,113 Unexpected. 55 00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:30,883 - Is it this place? 56 00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:31,984 - What? 57 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:34,586 - Oh, man, yeah, this is like Pulp Fiction! 58 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,787 - What shitty part of Pulp Fiction 59 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,022 would this possibly be like? 60 00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,290 - You know, the opening part with, uh, 61 00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:39,992 honey bunny and pumpkin and, uh, 62 00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:42,161 "any of you fucking pricks move, 63 00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:45,464 "I'm gonna execute every motherfuckin' last one of ya!" 64 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:46,532 - Shh, Jesus! 65 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,634 - Yeah, yeah, I'm into it, let's do it! 66 00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:50,002 - What are we gonna rob the diner with, 67 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:52,704 our fuckin' coffee spoons? 68 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:56,275 We should at least order the steak and eggs first so we have knives! 69 00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:57,409 - You guys ready to order? 70 00:02:57,411 --> 00:03:00,412 - Yeah, I'll have the, uh, steak and eggs. 71 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:04,816 - What is the finest item on your menu? 72 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:08,153 - Ooh, uh, my favorite is the chocolate chip pancakes. 73 00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,788 Super tasty. 74 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,323 - Eh. 75 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:12,891 - You don't like pancakes? 76 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,160 - No, it's just, uh, 77 00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:18,130 that's my ex-fiancee's favorite, so, 78 00:03:18,132 --> 00:03:21,099 kind of a loaded menu option for me. 79 00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:23,669 Um, the Denver omelet, thanks. 80 00:03:27,509 --> 00:03:28,408 - Wow. 81 00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:33,011 - What, I don't want chocolate chip pancakes, so what? 82 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,947 It's breakfast, not dessert. 83 00:03:34,949 --> 00:03:36,348 - Perfect, say that. 84 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:40,652 - Do you wanna hear about the place or do you wanna be my fuckin' life coach? 85 00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:45,257 It's a house, I know how to get in. 86 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:47,025 I know there's valuable jewelry, 87 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:50,062 and I know that they're gone all week. 88 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,196 - Which week? 89 00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:52,664 - This week, now. 90 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:59,171 - Holy shit, this is real, this is really real! 91 00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:03,842 - There is one part, um, it's in a gated community, 92 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,645 so there's a guard and a gate 93 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:10,649 and a fence around the whole thing, so. 94 00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:11,717 I know how to get in the house, 95 00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:15,287 I just don't know how to get to the house. 96 00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:19,558 - Well, I do. 97 00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:14,513 We'd like to order a pizza, please. 98 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,615 - For here or to go? 99 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:17,916 - For delivery. 100 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,218 - We're here. 101 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:55,520 - And that's how you do it. 102 00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:07,599 This is for you, my good man. 103 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:10,936 - Dude! 104 00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:14,673 - You get the other half when you pick us up. 105 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:16,341 - Ah, this is bullshit! 106 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,343 At least pay for the pizza, man! 107 00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:19,778 This is all the way the hell out here, 108 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:22,347 how am I gonna account for this on the books? 109 00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:23,349 - Fine! 110 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,453 Now, remember, this address, 111 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:33,425 plus a sausage, mushroom, and anchovy pizza. 112 00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,394 That's the code to come pick us up. 113 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,229 - Yeah, the address is fine. 114 00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:42,367 I mean, no one's gonna come... whoa, whoa, let's not get our signals crossed here, ok? 115 00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:44,436 Just stick to the plan. 116 00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:45,438 - Whatever! 117 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,073 - Whoa, hey, whoa. 118 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,709 You know, since we paid for it. 119 00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:58,016 - What if there's no hide-a-rock? 120 00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,085 - There is! 121 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,052 - How do you know? 122 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,821 - Because I know, we wouldn't be here 123 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,055 if there wasn't a hide-a-rock. 124 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,257 - Then why haven't you found it? 125 00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,092 - Because it looks like a fuckin' rock! 126 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,661 That's the beauty of its design! 127 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:15,333 - I've got no bars, why would you pay all this money 128 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:18,236 to live up in a place with no bars? 129 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:21,740 I have to call the pizza guy from inside, I guess. 130 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:24,409 That'll actually make it seem more legit. 131 00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:28,647 Yeah, the caller ID shows this address, the guy picks us up. 132 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:34,019 Nothin' funny about that, nothin' to pin it to us. 133 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,087 It's almost too perfect. 134 00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:38,590 Leo? 135 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,892 - Yeah? I was saying we have to call the pizza guy from... 136 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,627 - I heard you. 137 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:44,897 Hear that? 138 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,337 What was that? 139 00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:53,505 - Don't move. 140 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,007 It's an alarm. 141 00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:58,910 - Shit, I didn't know about the alarm. 142 00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:02,214 - It's ok, just there might be motion detectors. 143 00:08:02,216 --> 00:08:03,482 - Like lasers? 144 00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:05,283 - Maybe, or infrared. 145 00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:09,488 You know, everything gives off infrared heat, even ice? 146 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:10,689 - That's fucking fascinating, 147 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,157 do you know what you're doing there? 148 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,093 - Yeah, getting it. 149 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,262 - What does that mean, you're getting it? 150 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,097 - I've established a pattern, 151 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:22,367 and I'm working within the confines of that pattern 152 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,102 to decipher the, oh! 153 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,838 - Incorrect, system armed! 154 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,140 - Armed, you just armed it? 155 00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:33,745 So now we have to break out of the house we just broke into? 156 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,047 - I mean, if anything, it proves that the pattern was right. 157 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:39,918 I just went in the wrong direction with it, right? 158 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:40,752 If I reverse... 159 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,120 - no, don't touch it! 160 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,421 It's fuckin' armed! 161 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:44,990 - I know, I'm going to unarm it! 162 00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:47,125 - No, you're not, you're gonna set it off, 163 00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,960 and then the guard's gonna be here in six seconds, 164 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,762 cops are gonna be right behind him, 165 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,564 and then we're gonna be stuck here with nowhere to go 166 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:53,398 because we're in the middle 167 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,234 of a giant gated, fenced-in cage! 168 00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:00,105 - Ok, yeah, it's not ideal, 169 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,408 but it's not a problem. 170 00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,143 There's a code and it's written down 171 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,312 somewhere in this house, 172 00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,214 maybe on their computer, in an email 173 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:12,284 from the security company or somethin' like that. 174 00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:16,221 We just take our time, find the code while we rob the place, 175 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:19,190 and then skedaddle, clean and easy. 176 00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:23,895 - What about the motion detectors? 177 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,907 - No motion detectors. 178 00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:45,617 Good find! 179 00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:47,552 - Huh? 180 00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,521 - This place is swanky! 181 00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:51,723 - It's ok. 182 00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:54,192 - Ok, look at this! 183 00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:58,697 - What is it? 184 00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:01,633 - This is art, they have art hanging on the walls. 185 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:04,369 That's some ritzy people shit! 186 00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,438 We're gonna score huge on this job. 187 00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:16,848 - Uh, what are you doing? 188 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,017 - Stealing this, it looks expensive. 189 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,219 - We're not gonna steal a bowl. 190 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:24,322 We need small things that we can fit in our bags. 191 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,658 - Or in a pizza box, right? 192 00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:28,293 We could put a painting in here. 193 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:30,862 Let's eat this fast so the box doesn't get all sweaty. 194 00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:31,864 Here. 195 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,567 - What the fuck? 196 00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:36,968 - What? 197 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,937 - You just ruined that rug, look at that! 198 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,505 Show some respect! 199 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,241 - We are robbing this place. 200 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,010 - We don't have to rub their faces in it! 201 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,144 I mean, shit! 202 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:49,648 That's a nice rug! 203 00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:53,418 - Ok, I-i don't know, I'm sorry? 204 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:56,054 I don't know what's going on right now. 205 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,827 Yeah, it's ruined. 206 00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:15,006 Bingo! 207 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:18,677 - What? Office, where would you keep a code? 208 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,279 - I don't know, I don't have an office. 209 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,281 - Computer! 210 00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:26,084 Oh, maybe it's in a drawer or something. 211 00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,852 - Hey, why don't we just go out the window. 212 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,522 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 213 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,525 Sensor, my sister has one of these get ups at her house. 214 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:34,959 Try to smoke a little weed at the end 215 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:37,462 of a stressful day with the family, 216 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,364 suddenly, the whole damn neighborhood's awake 217 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:44,135 and they have questions about your life's decisions. 218 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:45,970 Oh! 219 00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:46,838 - Where are you going? 220 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:51,910 11:11. No, come on, we have to find the. 221 00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:55,613 - Hand me that phone. 222 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:57,248 - You can't just skip this one? 223 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,983 - It takes a minute. 224 00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:00,852 It's 11:11, 225 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:03,254 time for the impossible question! 226 00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:05,056 You guys know the deal, but it's fun to say it! 227 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:08,126 $104,800, that's what we're up to, 228 00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:11,663 it's been 524 days since a good soul has won. 229 00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:13,665 Twice a day, every day at 11:11, 230 00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,967 we pose the impossible question! 231 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,736 The generous folks at black bear markets 232 00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:19,637 add another hundred dollars to the kitty. 233 00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:20,839 Ya call with a correct answer 234 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:24,075 within 22 seconds, and you win it all! 235 00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:26,411 It would be so simple 236 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,546 if it weren't impossible! 237 00:12:32,384 --> 00:12:34,152 - So phone's ready. 238 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,421 - Here it comes. - What the fuck? 239 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:39,390 - Shh! 240 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,992 What were the last words 241 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:43,762 of the first man to commit suicide 242 00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:46,264 by jumping off the golden gate bridge? 243 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,399 - Come on, that's just! 244 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:49,667 - Oh, wait, you don't wanna hear the answer? 245 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,636 - Some asshole is gonna win, 246 00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:53,938 and then the next day, I'm gonna know the answer, 247 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,875 and then only win a hundred damn dollars! 248 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:59,978 I believe I'd take to a clock tower. 249 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,313 - Wonder how cold that water is. 250 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,281 - Huh? 251 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,016 - Those would be cool last words. 252 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:09,254 You say, "I wonder how cold that water is," and then. 253 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:14,926 - Come on, let's rob this place. 254 00:13:58,738 --> 00:13:59,571 Who the fuck is that? 255 00:13:59,573 --> 00:14:00,405 - I don't know. 256 00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:01,306 - You said no one was here! 257 00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:02,640 - She's not the person who lives here. 258 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:03,474 - How do you know? 259 00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:04,776 - Because I did my research. 260 00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:06,311 - Then why wasn't she in your research? 261 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:07,312 - She doesn't live here! 262 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,546 - Well who the fuck is that! 263 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,747 - I don't know! 264 00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:10,749 - Fuck! 265 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,719 - We gotta cut bait, just get out of here. 266 00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:17,722 - Out of where? Out of the house, just go, problem solved. 267 00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,824 - We can't, the alarm. 268 00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:22,660 Ah, we take a chair, 269 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,763 and we shove it under the doorknob. 270 00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,098 - And then what? 271 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,166 - She's stuck! 272 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:30,602 - So she'll call for help. 273 00:14:30,604 --> 00:14:32,170 - Like on the phone or out the window? 274 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:33,671 - W-what does that matter? 275 00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:34,673 - Uh, ok. 276 00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:38,977 Ha, hmm, we have to tie her up. 277 00:14:41,113 --> 00:14:42,647 - What? 278 00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,482 - Look, we need time! 279 00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:47,619 We don't have time if she finds us. 280 00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:51,089 If she wakes up, she's going to find us. 281 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,324 So, we have to tie her up. 282 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:12,510 Here we go! 283 00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:21,152 Yeah, ok, we'll use that. 284 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:25,657 - What about our faces, she can't see our faces. 285 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,860 Ok, we wrap her in the sheet 286 00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:30,628 and just tape the shit out of her. 287 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,330 - Why are we wrapping her in the sheet? 288 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,464 - This is duct tape, man. 289 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,867 - So? So it's gonna rip her fuckin' skin off! 290 00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:37,568 We're burglars, not assholes. 291 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:41,172 - Fine, you go high, I go low. 292 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:44,575 - Sorry! 293 00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:45,743 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 294 00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:46,844 - Sorry, sorry! 295 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:47,712 - Shut up! 296 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:48,980 - Help! 297 00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:51,316 - It's ok, we're just taping you! 298 00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:53,651 - Help! Shut up, no one can hear you! 299 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,153 - Don't be a dick about it, 300 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,055 but he's right, no one can hear you. 301 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:00,825 You good? 302 00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:02,226 - Yeah. 303 00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:06,064 - What the hell? 304 00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:06,898 - Dah, my leg! 305 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,133 - What? You taped my left, cut me loose. 306 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,335 - Ok. 307 00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:11,302 Will you hold still? 308 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,670 - I'm not doing anything, he's... 309 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:13,938 - I'm trying to kick free! 310 00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:16,507 - You can't kick free, I have to cut, 311 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,242 ha-ha! 312 00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:19,544 - Don't hurt me, don't hurt me! 313 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,579 - Wh, oh, we're not gonna hurt you, 314 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:22,914 we're just gonna steal some stuff 315 00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:26,117 and then we're gonna, oh shit! 316 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,185 - What? - My mask! 317 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,153 - I told you not to hog the saran wrap! 318 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,088 - I didn't see anything. 319 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,055 - Look at yours, still on! 320 00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:32,390 - I didn't hog it, 321 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,992 it, there just wasn't enough to go around my... 322 00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,326 - bullshit, you were wrapping your head 323 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,794 like you were shippin' it overseas! 324 00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:39,030 - I didn't see your face, just take whatever you want. 325 00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:40,732 I don't care, I'm, I'm just the house sitter. 326 00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:42,467 - Yes, you did see my face, you were looking right at me! 327 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:45,136 - I don't remember, just vaguely Chinese, that's all. 328 00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:45,970 - Chinese? 329 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:46,804 - Dude! 330 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,539 - Turn around, Doug! 331 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:53,878 - Whatever you're looking for, it's all in a secret hiding spot, I know that. 332 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:58,116 All the valuables, a computer, uh, I don't, just everything. 333 00:16:59,587 --> 00:17:00,486 - Where? 334 00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:03,521 - I don't know, I just heard them talking. 335 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,090 - Ok, you stay here, let's go. 336 00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:08,860 - We should put her back in the bed. 337 00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:09,694 - I'm fine. 338 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:10,528 - She's fine! 339 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,030 - No, come on, it's, 340 00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,531 we might be a while. 341 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,099 - Really, I'm fine. 342 00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:16,768 - What's your name? 343 00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:17,635 - Darcy. 344 00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,037 - Darcy, there's really no reason 345 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,738 for you to be uncomfortable. 346 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:23,674 Come on. 347 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,743 - Jesus Christ! 348 00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:31,382 - Good? 349 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,617 - Yeah. 350 00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:33,718 - Shout if you need anything. 351 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:37,188 - But be fuckin' quiet about it. 352 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,895 What are you the concierge? 353 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:46,431 - She saw my face, she can identify me, 354 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,366 so I want her to feel as good as she possibly can 355 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,068 about this whole experience. 356 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,537 W-why are you calling me by my middle name in there? 357 00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:54,172 You know how much I hate that. 358 00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:55,506 - What are you talking about? 359 00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,208 - You called me Doug! 360 00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:59,077 - I didn't know that was your middle name. 361 00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,044 - Yes, you did. 362 00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,946 I told you that, wait. 363 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:30,308 - Ok, now that I look at it, I may have over-applied. 364 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,314 - So, we have a hostage now. 365 00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:42,587 - Yeah, I know, it is not ideal, her being here. 366 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,923 - No, it's not ideal. 367 00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:48,559 - No, it is a problem, 368 00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:51,429 but she solves our two other problems. 369 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:52,296 - How? 370 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,898 - She knows the code. 371 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:57,969 - That's true. And we know all the great stuff is in a secret hiding spot 372 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,872 we wouldn't be looking for otherwise. 373 00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:03,407 So, all we have to do is find the spot, 374 00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:07,645 steal the stuff, get the code, and order our pizza. 375 00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:11,916 - We can do that. 376 00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:13,217 - Hell, yes, we can do that. 377 00:19:33,972 --> 00:19:35,006 - What are you doing? 378 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:37,141 - There could be one of those Scooby-doo deals, 379 00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:39,744 where the little thing, you know. 380 00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:02,633 This is too much stuff! 381 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,669 - Let's start over here. 382 00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:30,795 - Why in the hell would someone 383 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:33,831 keep a box of blankets in the garage? 384 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,700 What's the practical use in that? 385 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,835 You're in bed, you're cold, 386 00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:41,005 you come out to the even colder garage to get a blanket? 387 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:45,309 - Eh, I don't know. I know you don't know, because you wouldn't do that, 388 00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:47,445 because it's a stupid thing to do! 389 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:50,548 That's the one percent in action right there! 390 00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:54,051 This is why our country's in the shitter! 391 00:20:57,991 --> 00:20:58,991 Hey, now! 392 00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:04,829 If that's not a secret hidin' spot! 393 00:21:06,865 --> 00:21:08,032 - Oh, it's locked. 394 00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:11,569 - Exactly, because there's valuable stuff in here. 395 00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:14,005 - Hey, whoa, no! 396 00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:16,274 - What? You're gonna break everything inside! 397 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,608 - But it's locked! 398 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,243 - So, we'll find the key. 399 00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:23,914 - But we just found this! 400 00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:26,484 - Perfect, so we're on a roll. 401 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:37,328 This house is just too damn big, that's the real problem. 402 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,077 - Yeah, if you're robbing it, but if you're 403 00:21:39,102 --> 00:21:40,665 living here, it's probably pretty nice. 404 00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:42,600 - It's ostentatious! 405 00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:44,735 I mean, if they were just a little more humble, 406 00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:47,305 we wouldn't have so many rooms to look through. 407 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:49,206 I mean, what is this? 408 00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:53,644 The fucking parlor room or conservatory, it's like clue! 409 00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:11,228 - Niagara Falls. 410 00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:12,363 - Yeah. 411 00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:13,331 - Did you know Niagara Falls 412 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:15,132 is actually three different falls, 413 00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:16,934 horseshoe falls, bridal veil... 414 00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:19,036 - did you move anything here? 415 00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:20,137 - What? 416 00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:22,373 - Uh, was there any other stuff? 417 00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:24,608 - No, I just turned it on. 418 00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,878 - Well, did you put it there, though, 419 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,281 eh, in the center like that? 420 00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:32,950 - No, it was just there. 421 00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:34,285 - By itself? 422 00:22:34,287 --> 00:22:39,190 - Yeah, and then I turned it on, what's your deal? 423 00:22:51,545 --> 00:22:52,804 - What are you doing? 424 00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:55,139 - I'm taking this, we haven't found shit. 425 00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:57,074 This fits in my bag, it's gotta be worth something. 426 00:22:57,076 --> 00:22:58,709 - It's just a lamp. 427 00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:00,711 - Yeah, but it's old and cool! 428 00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:03,080 You've seen those shows where people find weird stuff 429 00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:04,882 and it turns out to be worth a bundle. 430 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:08,386 I saw this one where this guy had an old spittoon, 431 00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:11,155 turned out to belong 432 00:23:11,157 --> 00:23:15,626 to some famous cowboy or somethin', $100,000. 433 00:23:15,628 --> 00:23:16,961 - Cowboys didn't have lamps. 434 00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:18,362 - It doesn't have to be a cowboy, 435 00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:19,697 that's not the important part. 436 00:23:19,699 --> 00:23:22,166 It's just that, generally, old things are, 437 00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:24,335 you know, can be, uh, um. 438 00:23:25,537 --> 00:23:27,538 I don't know all the specific rules, 439 00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:31,208 but this is old and funky and you never know! 440 00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:32,610 - Uh, I do, ehm. 441 00:23:33,812 --> 00:23:36,380 I'm telling you, it's worth a couple hundred bucks. 442 00:23:36,382 --> 00:23:38,682 Maybe three by now, maybe. 443 00:23:38,684 --> 00:23:40,384 - Well, we'll see. 444 00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:41,752 - It is. 445 00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:42,753 - You say. 446 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,922 - I don't say, I know. 447 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:45,924 - How? 448 00:23:55,467 --> 00:23:57,902 - Because I bought it. 449 00:23:57,904 --> 00:24:01,005 - You have one of these, I haven't seen it. 450 00:24:01,007 --> 00:24:03,407 - No, this one, I bought it, 451 00:24:04,543 --> 00:24:07,044 and we can't take it. 452 00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:15,419 - Why would a lamp that you bought 453 00:24:15,421 --> 00:24:18,222 be in a house that we're robbing? 454 00:24:22,060 --> 00:24:23,794 Who's house is this? 455 00:24:26,765 --> 00:24:28,098 - Jessica's. 456 00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:29,100 - Oh, 457 00:24:29,868 --> 00:24:32,102 you have got to let it go! 458 00:24:40,912 --> 00:24:42,580 So, what, you've been stalking her? 459 00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:43,614 - No! 460 00:24:43,616 --> 00:24:45,216 - But you know where she lives. 461 00:24:45,218 --> 00:24:47,117 - That's just Facebook. 462 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:48,719 - You're still Facebook friends with her? 463 00:24:49,589 --> 00:24:50,988 So you've just been stalking her online? 464 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:54,024 - That's not stalking, that's what Facebook is for. 465 00:24:54,026 --> 00:24:56,894 - How did you know where the key was? 466 00:24:56,896 --> 00:24:58,729 - We usedta' live together, 467 00:24:58,731 --> 00:25:00,231 she loves the hide-a-rock. 468 00:25:00,233 --> 00:25:02,333 She, she used to give it to everyone, 469 00:25:02,335 --> 00:25:05,803 every housewarming gift ever was a hide-a-rock. 470 00:25:05,805 --> 00:25:10,307 She thinks it's the height of human innovation. 471 00:25:10,309 --> 00:25:12,843 - So what exactly was your plan here? 472 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:15,045 - To rob the place. 473 00:25:15,047 --> 00:25:16,280 - Why? 474 00:25:16,282 --> 00:25:17,282 - Why? 475 00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:21,018 We've been talkin' about it forever, 476 00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:22,486 so I found a good place! 477 00:25:22,488 --> 00:25:24,255 - No, you found a terrible place! 478 00:25:24,257 --> 00:25:25,890 I wanted to rob someplace cool, 479 00:25:25,892 --> 00:25:29,693 not your ex-fiancee's new fiance's house. 480 00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:32,196 - It's a good place. 481 00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:33,597 There's jewelry, 482 00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:37,635 diamonds. 483 00:25:37,637 --> 00:25:40,604 - Diamonds, she has diamonds? 484 00:25:40,606 --> 00:25:43,040 - A diamond, for sure. 485 00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:45,409 - Wait, are we just here to steal back your engagement ring? 486 00:25:45,411 --> 00:25:46,410 - She shouldn't have kept it. 487 00:25:46,412 --> 00:25:47,645 - Holy shit! 488 00:25:47,647 --> 00:25:49,079 - She shouldn't have, and she knows it! 489 00:25:49,081 --> 00:25:50,814 - Why didn't you just ask for it back? 490 00:25:50,816 --> 00:25:52,683 - There was a lot goin' on! 491 00:25:52,685 --> 00:25:55,686 We both wanted the Cuisinart, we had a big argument 492 00:25:55,688 --> 00:25:58,322 about who put down the security deposit. 493 00:25:58,324 --> 00:25:59,657 - You've gotta be kidding me! 494 00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:02,092 - Neither of us even thought about the ring, 495 00:26:02,094 --> 00:26:05,362 and then I did, and I thought, 496 00:26:05,364 --> 00:26:08,065 well, if I realize it, then she realizes it, 497 00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:10,634 and she'll bring it back soon. 498 00:26:11,503 --> 00:26:14,438 And then she didn't, and then I thought, 499 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,640 well, maybe that means something. 500 00:26:16,642 --> 00:26:18,842 Maybe she's not ready to let go, 501 00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:25,182 and then she got engaged, 502 00:26:26,985 --> 00:26:31,822 and then that was the last straw. 503 00:26:34,326 --> 00:26:35,626 - This is the saddest heist 504 00:26:35,628 --> 00:26:37,361 in the long, storied history of crime. 505 00:26:37,363 --> 00:26:39,563 - No, it's not, it's the perfect crime! 506 00:26:39,565 --> 00:26:40,764 I get my ring back, 507 00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:43,067 you get to steal his stupid rich guy's stuff. 508 00:26:43,069 --> 00:26:44,335 - Except that. 509 00:26:44,337 --> 00:26:46,503 - That's not his, that's hers, I gave that to her. 510 00:26:46,505 --> 00:26:48,172 - Even better, you get it back, too. 511 00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:51,208 - No, look, she kept it, here. 512 00:26:52,243 --> 00:26:54,845 In her house, with her fiancee, 513 00:26:54,847 --> 00:26:56,981 on a table all by itself. 514 00:26:57,782 --> 00:26:59,016 Don't you see? 515 00:27:00,385 --> 00:27:01,719 I'm still here! 516 00:27:03,054 --> 00:27:05,623 She's still has a thing for me. 517 00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:07,257 - She doesn't have a thing for you, 518 00:27:07,259 --> 00:27:08,726 she has a thing for this thing. 519 00:27:08,728 --> 00:27:10,027 This thing is nice! 520 00:27:10,029 --> 00:27:11,029 - I'm nice! 521 00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:14,331 - She's engaged to another guy. 522 00:27:14,333 --> 00:27:16,433 - She can still change her mind. 523 00:27:16,435 --> 00:27:17,501 I know this. 524 00:27:18,770 --> 00:27:23,007 - So she kept your ring, and she kept your lamp, 525 00:27:24,209 --> 00:27:26,410 so she's gonna get back together with you? 526 00:27:26,412 --> 00:27:27,878 - Maybe. 527 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:28,880 - Maybe? 528 00:27:31,182 --> 00:27:32,883 What about the girl up there? 529 00:27:32,885 --> 00:27:34,084 - Who? 530 00:27:34,086 --> 00:27:37,788 - The girl we just taped up, the house sitter! 531 00:27:37,790 --> 00:27:39,256 - I don't know, what about her? 532 00:27:39,258 --> 00:27:43,227 - She's a friend and she's seen your face. 533 00:27:43,229 --> 00:27:45,829 So, you and Jessica are gonna get back together 534 00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:47,965 and you're gonna run into her and she's gonna be like, 535 00:27:47,967 --> 00:27:49,533 "oh, do you know Leo?" 536 00:27:49,535 --> 00:27:53,771 "Oh, yeah, he tied me up in your bedroom that one time!" 537 00:27:55,540 --> 00:27:57,574 - Guys? 538 00:27:57,576 --> 00:27:59,877 - She's not the quiet type. 539 00:28:00,845 --> 00:28:02,212 - Hey, guys? 540 00:28:02,214 --> 00:28:05,282 - Come on! 541 00:28:06,785 --> 00:28:07,785 - Guys! 542 00:28:08,586 --> 00:28:09,987 - That's not quiet shouting, 543 00:28:09,989 --> 00:28:12,423 that's regular, loud shouting. 544 00:28:12,425 --> 00:28:14,458 - Sorry, I really have to go to the bathroom. 545 00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:18,762 - Would you stop it? 546 00:28:18,764 --> 00:28:21,098 - Does it look ok? 547 00:28:21,100 --> 00:28:22,366 - It's fine. 548 00:28:22,368 --> 00:28:24,068 - Ok. 549 00:28:24,070 --> 00:28:25,736 - She has to go to the bathroom. 550 00:28:25,738 --> 00:28:26,570 - How bad? 551 00:28:26,572 --> 00:28:27,838 - Pretty bad. 552 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,674 - Ok, let's, um, let's tear a little hole 553 00:28:30,676 --> 00:28:32,810 in the sheet around her, uh... 554 00:28:32,812 --> 00:28:35,245 - I'm not doing that, that's super rapey! 555 00:28:35,247 --> 00:28:39,550 - That's not rapey, it's, we're being courteous! 556 00:28:39,552 --> 00:28:42,152 Ok, you have to go to the bathroom? 557 00:28:42,154 --> 00:28:43,954 That's no one's fault. 558 00:28:43,956 --> 00:28:46,957 We appreciate that you, uh, didn't soil the bed. 559 00:28:46,959 --> 00:28:49,226 That shows a lot of respect. 560 00:28:49,228 --> 00:28:51,428 Not towards us, specifically, but just, you know, 561 00:28:51,430 --> 00:28:55,666 general respect towards humankind and, uh, societal norms. 562 00:28:57,736 --> 00:29:00,738 So that's a good trust-building move, am I right? 563 00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:05,476 - Sure. Ok, so, you showed some respect, 564 00:29:05,977 --> 00:29:09,747 we will do likewise and un-tape you, ok? 565 00:29:09,749 --> 00:29:14,351 - Yes, please. But just to go to the bathroom, that's it. 566 00:29:14,353 --> 00:29:16,520 So you can tend to your needs. 567 00:29:16,522 --> 00:29:19,523 Then, we'll tape you back up. 568 00:29:19,525 --> 00:29:20,824 - I understand. 569 00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:23,627 - Ok, Doug, let's. 570 00:29:31,837 --> 00:29:34,071 Oh, it's tearing the sheet a little here. 571 00:29:34,073 --> 00:29:37,174 - See, the sheets were my idea. 572 00:29:37,176 --> 00:29:40,043 Didn't wanna tear up your skin. 573 00:29:40,045 --> 00:29:41,078 - Thank you. 574 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,412 - Oh, it was nothing. 575 00:29:42,414 --> 00:29:44,615 Anyone would've, I mean, he didn't. 576 00:29:44,617 --> 00:29:45,449 - Hey! 577 00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:47,551 - But really, anyone. 578 00:29:47,553 --> 00:29:48,352 - Whoa! 579 00:29:48,354 --> 00:29:49,186 - What? 580 00:29:49,188 --> 00:29:50,783 - I'm not dressed! - Well, you're not 581 00:29:50,808 --> 00:29:52,422 undressed, you're wearin' underwear. 582 00:29:52,424 --> 00:29:53,590 - Well, still, that's not the... 583 00:29:53,592 --> 00:29:55,759 - we've already seen you. 584 00:29:55,761 --> 00:29:58,529 - Well, I'd prefer that you did not see me again! 585 00:29:58,531 --> 00:29:59,830 - I don't know if this helps, 586 00:29:59,832 --> 00:30:03,066 but you really shouldn't have any body shame. 587 00:30:03,068 --> 00:30:07,171 - What? I-I'm just saying, you're overall fitness seems high. 588 00:30:07,173 --> 00:30:10,040 Whatever work you're doing is really paying off. 589 00:30:10,042 --> 00:30:11,875 You should be super proud of the, uh... 590 00:30:11,877 --> 00:30:13,310 - Ok! - Results. 591 00:30:13,312 --> 00:30:14,711 - That's enough. 592 00:30:15,947 --> 00:30:18,315 You're in your underwear, you have to go to the bathroom. 593 00:30:18,317 --> 00:30:21,351 Those are just two facts, deal with 'em! 594 00:30:21,353 --> 00:30:23,987 We don't care, we're not perverts. 595 00:30:23,989 --> 00:30:25,622 We're thieves, ok? 596 00:30:25,624 --> 00:30:27,024 No, let's go! 597 00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:40,170 There's a window, so, uh, we're going in with you. 598 00:30:40,172 --> 00:30:41,004 - Why? 599 00:30:41,006 --> 00:30:42,439 - So you don't run away. 600 00:30:42,441 --> 00:30:44,274 - I'm not gonna run away, I'm in my underwear! 601 00:30:44,276 --> 00:30:47,010 - Who cares, Cindy birdsong jumped out of a moving vehicle 602 00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:49,513 on the long beach freeway to avoid capture. 603 00:30:49,515 --> 00:30:51,048 A little panty dash is nothin'. 604 00:30:51,050 --> 00:30:52,182 - Who is Cindy birdsong? 605 00:30:52,184 --> 00:30:53,450 - One of the Supremes. 606 00:30:53,452 --> 00:30:55,688 - Why do you know that? 'Cause 607 00:30:55,713 --> 00:30:58,222 I'm an educated person, come on! 608 00:30:58,224 --> 00:31:00,357 - What, both of you? 609 00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:01,959 - Fine, I'll go. 610 00:31:01,961 --> 00:31:04,394 - Ok, because I have to go number two. 611 00:31:04,396 --> 00:31:07,264 - Fine, we'll flip for it. 612 00:31:07,266 --> 00:31:08,266 - Heads. 613 00:31:18,310 --> 00:31:19,310 - Hey, um, 614 00:31:21,946 --> 00:31:25,649 you can have a little bit of dignity anyhow. 615 00:31:31,222 --> 00:31:34,625 Let's see, what else? 616 00:31:34,627 --> 00:31:37,861 That'll help a little, but you gotta give me the mercy flush. 617 00:31:37,863 --> 00:31:41,765 - What? Just, well, as soon as it, you know, 618 00:31:41,767 --> 00:31:45,569 hits the water, just get rid of it, flush it. 619 00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:49,339 Now is now the time for water conservation. 620 00:31:49,341 --> 00:31:54,411 - Ok. Let's see, she normally has a lavender, 621 00:31:56,014 --> 00:31:58,649 people have lavender spray, so. 622 00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:03,820 You do that, and I'll use these, 623 00:32:06,357 --> 00:32:11,128 and that'll, uh, mask any of, 624 00:32:11,130 --> 00:32:14,031 uh, maybe turn on the shower. 625 00:32:14,033 --> 00:32:14,998 - Why? 626 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,567 - Just to cover up any noises. 627 00:32:22,707 --> 00:32:25,676 Ok, good. 628 00:32:25,678 --> 00:32:27,244 Uh, do you feel good? 629 00:32:27,246 --> 00:32:28,178 - Uh, yeah. 630 00:32:28,180 --> 00:32:29,579 - Good, um, uhn, 631 00:32:32,350 --> 00:32:33,984 get to it, I guess. 632 00:32:40,925 --> 00:32:44,061 My name's not Doug, just so you know. 633 00:32:46,030 --> 00:32:47,798 Doesn't matter what my real name is, 634 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,800 I just don't like Doug. 635 00:32:51,035 --> 00:32:54,404 Don't want you thinkin' of me as a Doug. 636 00:32:57,342 --> 00:33:00,911 We actually probably have stuff in common. 637 00:33:04,349 --> 00:33:07,851 Friends, maybe, even, like, the point is, 638 00:33:09,487 --> 00:33:13,724 it's a small world, that's all I'm sayin'. 639 00:33:16,627 --> 00:33:19,162 Hey, the system's workin' well, though, isn't it? 640 00:33:19,164 --> 00:33:21,765 I haven't, I wouldn't even know that yeh! 641 00:33:24,737 --> 00:33:27,404 - You guys ok in there? 642 00:33:27,406 --> 00:33:29,406 - Marlon, Marlon! 643 00:33:31,409 --> 00:33:32,476 - Stay there! 644 00:33:32,478 --> 00:33:33,310 - Don't hurt him! 645 00:33:33,312 --> 00:33:34,511 - You fuckers are letting me go! 646 00:33:34,513 --> 00:33:36,213 - Ok, yes, just stay calm! 647 00:33:36,215 --> 00:33:39,449 - I am calm, I will calmly choke your friend to death! 648 00:33:39,451 --> 00:33:41,084 - No, no, no, don't, don't, don't, look, look! 649 00:33:41,086 --> 00:33:43,653 He's fading, he's just, just let us out, 650 00:33:43,655 --> 00:33:46,156 and we'll go away, it'll be like this never happened! 651 00:33:46,158 --> 00:33:47,557 - Ok, all right, just let me go! 652 00:33:47,559 --> 00:33:49,292 - Ok, yes, just let us out! 653 00:33:49,294 --> 00:33:50,927 - Ok! 654 00:33:50,929 --> 00:33:52,029 Wait, what, let you out? 655 00:33:52,031 --> 00:33:53,224 What are you talking about? 656 00:33:53,249 --> 00:33:55,699 The alarm, just let us out and we'll be fuckin' gone! 657 00:33:55,701 --> 00:33:56,733 - The alarm's off! 658 00:33:56,735 --> 00:33:59,236 - No, we armed it, it was an accident, 659 00:33:59,238 --> 00:34:01,538 so just type in the code, and we'll be gone 660 00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:03,373 and that's that, I swear! 661 00:34:07,279 --> 00:34:10,680 - I saw, I saw clouds, people made of clouds, 662 00:34:10,682 --> 00:34:11,848 and they were goin'... 663 00:34:11,850 --> 00:34:13,517 - it's ok, it's ok, you're all right. 664 00:34:13,519 --> 00:34:16,553 You're all right, we're gettin' out of here. 665 00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:17,754 - You armed it? 666 00:34:17,756 --> 00:34:19,823 - I was establishing a pattern. 667 00:34:22,761 --> 00:34:23,894 What's wrong? 668 00:34:25,029 --> 00:34:27,130 - I don't know the code. 669 00:34:27,132 --> 00:34:28,132 - Why not? 670 00:34:30,635 --> 00:34:32,936 - I'm not the house sitter. 671 00:34:37,575 --> 00:34:40,010 - Why would a pet need a taxi? 672 00:34:40,012 --> 00:34:41,111 - It's a thing, ok? 673 00:34:41,113 --> 00:34:42,679 People wanna get their dogs to the groomers 674 00:34:42,681 --> 00:34:45,816 or off to the kennel before they go away. 675 00:34:45,818 --> 00:34:47,117 - One-percenters, man. 676 00:34:47,119 --> 00:34:49,619 - Yeah, they will throw down for their pets. 677 00:34:49,621 --> 00:34:51,855 It's crazy, I don't mean that like a figure of speech, 678 00:34:51,857 --> 00:34:53,890 I mean like! 679 00:34:53,892 --> 00:34:57,160 I've seen a dog with a collar that cost 500 bucks. 680 00:34:57,162 --> 00:34:58,462 Can you believe that shit? 681 00:34:58,464 --> 00:35:01,031 500 American for a dog collar! 682 00:35:02,567 --> 00:35:04,901 - So you pick up the dog and take it to the kennel, 683 00:35:04,903 --> 00:35:06,937 why would they give you a key? 684 00:35:06,939 --> 00:35:08,371 - They didn't. 685 00:35:08,373 --> 00:35:09,706 - Hide-a-rock? 686 00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:10,707 - What? 687 00:35:10,709 --> 00:35:12,175 - How did you get in? 688 00:35:12,177 --> 00:35:13,910 - I picked the lock. 689 00:35:15,913 --> 00:35:16,913 You ok? 690 00:35:18,182 --> 00:35:21,485 - Sorry, it's just, that's really cool. 691 00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:26,623 What's your deal? 692 00:35:28,226 --> 00:35:29,593 - She has a dog? 693 00:35:31,062 --> 00:35:34,264 I always wanted a dog, but she wouldn't let us. 694 00:35:34,266 --> 00:35:35,732 Now, fucking dog? 695 00:35:37,502 --> 00:35:40,170 - Wait, do you guys know these people? 696 00:35:40,172 --> 00:35:41,104 - His ex-fiancee. 697 00:35:41,106 --> 00:35:46,176 - Shut up! That is crazier than a $500 dog collar! 698 00:35:47,912 --> 00:35:49,913 - No, it's not, I'm just here 699 00:35:49,915 --> 00:35:52,215 to get back my engagement ring. 700 00:35:52,217 --> 00:35:54,818 - Wait, she kept the ring? 701 00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:55,785 What a cunt! 702 00:35:55,787 --> 00:35:58,989 - Hey, whoa, no, she is not a cunt! 703 00:35:58,991 --> 00:35:59,956 - Are you sure about that, 704 00:35:59,958 --> 00:36:01,391 because that's a straight-up cunt move. 705 00:36:01,393 --> 00:36:02,792 - Yes, I'm sure. 706 00:36:04,362 --> 00:36:05,428 Pretty sure. 707 00:36:06,230 --> 00:36:07,764 - Wait, so don't take this the wrong way, 708 00:36:07,766 --> 00:36:11,601 But I'm not really getting a master cat burglar vibe from you guys. 709 00:36:11,603 --> 00:36:13,336 - You don't know us! 710 00:36:13,338 --> 00:36:16,973 - I know that you turned on the security system somehow. 711 00:36:16,975 --> 00:36:19,543 - I was establishing a pattern. 712 00:36:19,545 --> 00:36:22,012 How did you know it wasn't armed in the first place, huh? 713 00:36:22,014 --> 00:36:25,515 Did you just waltz in, pick the lock, that's reckless! 714 00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:27,551 - Because I saw them not arm it! 715 00:36:27,553 --> 00:36:30,353 I came to pick up the dog, they were hustling about, 716 00:36:30,355 --> 00:36:32,889 he was like, "uh, do you need to put anything in the spot?" 717 00:36:32,891 --> 00:36:35,058 And she was like, "um, my laptop," and then he was like, 718 00:36:35,060 --> 00:36:37,594 "uh, it's already in there," and then they left, 719 00:36:37,596 --> 00:36:42,566 locked the door, no alarm, it's somethin' I look for. 720 00:36:42,568 --> 00:36:44,067 - Something you look for? 721 00:36:44,069 --> 00:36:45,101 - Yeah. 722 00:36:45,103 --> 00:36:46,603 - Why? 723 00:36:46,605 --> 00:36:48,071 - So I don't get arrested. 724 00:36:48,073 --> 00:36:50,807 - Wait, this is, like, a thing you do? 725 00:36:50,809 --> 00:36:53,210 - Yeah, I mean, they're gone. 726 00:36:53,212 --> 00:36:57,380 My apartment's a dump, and they've got laundry and HBO. 727 00:36:57,382 --> 00:37:00,850 It's like a fucking resort in these places! 728 00:37:00,852 --> 00:37:01,852 Relaxing. 729 00:37:07,191 --> 00:37:09,326 Until now. 730 00:37:09,328 --> 00:37:11,494 Now, it's all stressful. 731 00:37:11,496 --> 00:37:12,996 Now I need a drink. 732 00:37:12,998 --> 00:37:14,431 - Where are you going? 733 00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:16,900 - Wine! Wait, uh, we need to figure out 734 00:37:16,902 --> 00:37:18,197 How we're going to get out of here. 735 00:37:18,222 --> 00:37:20,103 Ok, they're not gonna be home for a couple of days. 736 00:37:20,105 --> 00:37:23,640 I believe I have time for a glass of wine. 737 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:29,512 - In the old days, that alarm code 738 00:37:29,514 --> 00:37:32,082 would've been our anniversary. 739 00:37:32,950 --> 00:37:34,884 - You guys had an alarm in that shitty apartment? 740 00:37:34,886 --> 00:37:38,388 - God, no, but she used our anniversary for everything. 741 00:37:38,390 --> 00:37:41,858 It was her pin number, her bank password. 742 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,729 If we hadn't broken up, I could've gotten us out of here. 743 00:37:45,731 --> 00:37:48,064 - If you hadn't broken up, we wouldn't be here. 744 00:37:48,066 --> 00:37:49,866 - Even better. 745 00:37:49,868 --> 00:37:54,371 It's like she's still finding new ways to hurt me. 746 00:37:54,373 --> 00:37:55,972 - What are you looking for? 747 00:37:55,974 --> 00:37:58,575 - The dusty ones, they've been keeping those the longest, 748 00:37:58,577 --> 00:38:00,577 so that means they're good. 749 00:38:00,579 --> 00:38:02,612 Then you just pack out the bottle, 750 00:38:02,614 --> 00:38:04,547 they assume that they drank it and forgot. 751 00:38:04,549 --> 00:38:06,249 I mean, that's the beauty of booze. 752 00:38:06,251 --> 00:38:08,418 It makes things fuzzy. 753 00:38:10,355 --> 00:38:11,187 What'd you get? 754 00:38:11,189 --> 00:38:12,289 - Zinfandel. 755 00:38:12,291 --> 00:38:15,625 - Ah, Primativo, that's its other name. 756 00:38:17,361 --> 00:38:18,995 You learn. 757 00:38:18,997 --> 00:38:20,597 - Sangee-oh-vice. 758 00:38:20,599 --> 00:38:22,999 - Sangiovese, blood of Jove, 759 00:38:24,168 --> 00:38:26,703 it's the only grape named after a god. 760 00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:29,673 - That's good. 761 00:38:29,675 --> 00:38:33,910 - Come on, let us go be gods! 762 00:38:35,780 --> 00:38:37,314 - Hmm! 763 00:38:40,385 --> 00:38:43,520 I stole money from the collection plate at church. 764 00:38:43,522 --> 00:38:45,722 - I told a guy that I was pregnant 765 00:38:45,724 --> 00:38:48,491 and let him believe it for three days. 766 00:38:48,493 --> 00:38:50,460 - I kissed my step-mom. 767 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:53,330 She was asleep. 768 00:38:53,332 --> 00:38:55,198 - Did she wake up? 769 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,099 - Yeah. 770 00:38:56,101 --> 00:38:58,601 - Ok, you win. 771 00:38:58,603 --> 00:38:59,436 - Do I, though? 772 00:38:59,438 --> 00:39:01,137 - No. 773 00:39:03,075 --> 00:39:04,140 Hey-hey-hey! 774 00:39:05,976 --> 00:39:07,877 Mm, mm, this is tasty? 775 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:10,547 - Which? 776 00:39:10,549 --> 00:39:13,216 - Uh, Le poof Le puff, the, uh French. 777 00:39:17,255 --> 00:39:19,089 Oh, uh, sorry, what's your name? 778 00:39:19,091 --> 00:39:22,792 - Marlon. Marlon, it's the other one. 779 00:39:22,794 --> 00:39:24,160 Wait, Marlon? 780 00:39:24,162 --> 00:39:24,994 - Yeah. 781 00:39:24,996 --> 00:39:25,862 - Like the fish? 782 00:39:25,864 --> 00:39:27,797 - No, like Marlon Brando. 783 00:39:27,799 --> 00:39:31,634 - Oh, it's funny, I never think of the fish with him. 784 00:39:31,636 --> 00:39:36,239 I guess because it's never just Marlon, it's Marlon Brando. 785 00:39:36,241 --> 00:39:37,474 What's your last name? 786 00:39:37,476 --> 00:39:38,308 - It's, uh... 787 00:39:38,310 --> 00:39:39,909 - don't tell her your last name, 788 00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:42,045 you shouldn't have told her your first name! 789 00:39:42,047 --> 00:39:43,179 - I told you mine. 790 00:39:43,181 --> 00:39:44,147 - Did you? 791 00:39:44,149 --> 00:39:45,281 - Yes, it's Darcy. 792 00:39:45,283 --> 00:39:46,349 - Is it? 793 00:39:46,351 --> 00:39:47,917 - The fuck, dude, yes! 794 00:39:47,919 --> 00:39:49,185 Why would I lie about that? 795 00:39:49,187 --> 00:39:50,053 - 'Cause you're a liar, 796 00:39:50,055 --> 00:39:51,755 because you break into people's houses. 797 00:39:51,757 --> 00:39:53,923 That's not trustworthy behavior. 798 00:39:53,925 --> 00:39:55,191 - You guys broke in. 799 00:39:55,193 --> 00:39:57,093 - No, we used the key. 800 00:39:58,028 --> 00:39:59,229 - You're robbing the place. 801 00:39:59,231 --> 00:40:02,031 - Not yet, we haven't taken anything yet. 802 00:40:02,033 --> 00:40:04,934 - Clearly, you intend to, you're gonna take that lamp. 803 00:40:04,936 --> 00:40:07,003 You've been carrying it around with you from room to room. 804 00:40:07,005 --> 00:40:07,971 It's as good as gone! 805 00:40:07,973 --> 00:40:09,739 - No, we're not taking it. 806 00:40:09,741 --> 00:40:11,574 I'm carrying it around to keep him from taking it, 807 00:40:11,576 --> 00:40:14,944 so that just goes to show what you know. 808 00:40:17,848 --> 00:40:19,282 - Did you know Niagara Falls is actually 809 00:40:19,284 --> 00:40:21,584 three separate falls, bridal veil... 810 00:40:21,586 --> 00:40:23,620 - stop it, Jesus! 811 00:40:23,622 --> 00:40:27,490 You lug around all this useless trivia, and for what? 812 00:40:27,492 --> 00:40:31,227 - Hold on, at least I know real stuff! 813 00:40:31,229 --> 00:40:32,762 You're the world's leading expert in a woman 814 00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:34,664 that doesn't even love you anymore! 815 00:40:34,666 --> 00:40:36,800 So, when are you gonna put that to good use? 816 00:40:36,802 --> 00:40:38,401 - When we're back together. 817 00:40:42,406 --> 00:40:44,274 - It's a, it's a cool lamp, though. 818 00:40:47,546 --> 00:40:49,846 - Yeah, have you ever been? 819 00:40:51,682 --> 00:40:53,082 - Niagara Falls? 820 00:40:54,685 --> 00:40:59,522 - It's a lot of water, an impossible amount of water. 821 00:40:59,524 --> 00:41:00,924 It's inevitable. 822 00:41:02,493 --> 00:41:07,263 It just keeps coming and coming, 823 00:41:07,265 --> 00:41:08,998 and the noise, it's, 824 00:41:12,203 --> 00:41:14,170 you don't even hear it. 825 00:41:15,339 --> 00:41:18,475 It's not like something else anymore, 826 00:41:19,810 --> 00:41:21,177 it's just, 827 00:41:25,083 --> 00:41:27,584 it's the only thing there is. 828 00:41:32,056 --> 00:41:36,292 It's terrifying. 829 00:41:39,930 --> 00:41:42,632 And then someone holds your hand 830 00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:46,402 and her skin 831 00:41:48,205 --> 00:41:49,272 and the air, 832 00:41:51,308 --> 00:41:55,478 and this noise. 833 00:41:57,281 --> 00:42:00,517 It's everything, you know, everything. 834 00:42:03,387 --> 00:42:06,022 You've got it all in your hand. 835 00:42:13,664 --> 00:42:16,299 It's the happiest we ever were, 836 00:42:18,235 --> 00:42:21,704 and she's kept me here with her, you see? 837 00:42:24,742 --> 00:42:26,075 So I'm staying. 838 00:42:29,446 --> 00:42:31,147 The lamp stays. 839 00:42:42,793 --> 00:42:45,428 I'm going to look for that key. 840 00:42:53,104 --> 00:42:56,839 - So, uh, your folks, Marlon Brando fans? 841 00:42:56,841 --> 00:42:58,308 - Marlon Jackson, 842 00:42:59,843 --> 00:43:01,077 the Jackson 5. 843 00:43:02,846 --> 00:43:04,414 - That's, uh, not, 844 00:43:05,716 --> 00:43:08,451 Michael, Jermaine, Tito, Jackie. 845 00:43:10,387 --> 00:43:13,723 Michael, Jermaine, Tito, Jackie. 846 00:43:13,725 --> 00:43:16,225 - Marlon. 847 00:43:16,227 --> 00:43:17,227 - Marlon. 848 00:43:19,563 --> 00:43:23,466 You should never tell anybody that ever again. 849 00:45:00,364 --> 00:45:02,732 - Oh, I was just trying it on. 850 00:45:02,734 --> 00:45:03,966 - What? 851 00:45:03,968 --> 00:45:06,035 - It's nice, I was just. 852 00:45:07,171 --> 00:45:08,738 - Is it Jessica's? 853 00:45:10,074 --> 00:45:12,875 I don't care, you should take it. 854 00:45:13,877 --> 00:45:15,445 Looks nice on you. 855 00:45:19,650 --> 00:45:21,651 - Did you find anything? 856 00:45:21,653 --> 00:45:22,653 - No. 857 00:45:24,321 --> 00:45:28,157 I just thought, five years we were together, 858 00:45:28,159 --> 00:45:31,160 maybe there'd be one picture of me. 859 00:45:32,296 --> 00:45:34,030 - Well, maybe he's the jealous type. 860 00:45:34,032 --> 00:45:35,598 I mean, dudes don't really wanna see photos 861 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,134 of ex-boyfriend's lying around. 862 00:45:38,136 --> 00:45:39,469 - Ex-fiancee. 863 00:45:39,471 --> 00:45:40,603 - Even worse! 864 00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:44,407 She's pretty. 865 00:45:45,943 --> 00:45:49,345 Look at this guy! 866 00:45:49,347 --> 00:45:51,547 His face is too big for his head. 867 00:45:51,549 --> 00:45:53,883 So yeah, he definitely 868 00:45:53,885 --> 00:45:58,387 doesn't wanna see photos of you. 869 00:45:58,389 --> 00:46:02,525 That's the kind of guy who names his dog Fido. 870 00:46:02,527 --> 00:46:03,526 - What? 871 00:46:03,528 --> 00:46:06,295 - Yeah, they named their dog Fido, no shit. 872 00:46:06,297 --> 00:46:08,464 Like straight out of a comic book or something. 873 00:46:08,466 --> 00:46:10,433 - That wh, was my name! 874 00:46:11,702 --> 00:46:13,803 - Wait, so it's not Doug, it's... 875 00:46:13,805 --> 00:46:15,138 - that's what I was gonna name our dog 876 00:46:15,140 --> 00:46:18,407 She wouldn't let us get! I always told her, "wouldn't that be funny?" 877 00:46:18,409 --> 00:46:21,277 It's like, everyone thinks of that as a dog's name, 878 00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:23,846 but no one actually names their dog that. 879 00:46:23,848 --> 00:46:25,181 Here, Fido! 880 00:46:25,183 --> 00:46:27,416 It'd be fuckin' hilarious! 881 00:46:30,053 --> 00:46:32,955 - It'd be a unique cliche, 882 00:46:32,957 --> 00:46:34,290 in canine form. 883 00:46:35,659 --> 00:46:37,226 - See, you get it. 884 00:47:02,386 --> 00:47:04,253 - Hello, beautiful! 885 00:47:04,255 --> 00:47:06,589 - That motherfucker's got a dog named Fido, 886 00:47:06,591 --> 00:47:08,157 and he doesn't even know why! 887 00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:11,527 - Dumb shit! Yeah, oh, maybe you don't have any pictures of me 888 00:47:11,529 --> 00:47:14,697 in your house, but you're runnin' around sayin', 889 00:47:14,699 --> 00:47:16,465 "mm, here, Fido, come, Fido!" 890 00:47:16,467 --> 00:47:20,236 Might as well be balls deep in your old lady, man! 891 00:47:20,238 --> 00:47:22,004 - He's your cuckold! 892 00:47:22,006 --> 00:47:23,406 - What's that? 893 00:47:23,408 --> 00:47:25,441 - It's where one guy watches the other guy 894 00:47:25,443 --> 00:47:28,477 have sex with his girl and likes it. 895 00:47:28,479 --> 00:47:29,512 - That's a thing? 896 00:47:29,514 --> 00:47:30,813 - Yeah. 897 00:47:30,815 --> 00:47:33,850 Mm, don't judge, it's too easy. 898 00:47:34,484 --> 00:47:37,653 You know, you find something that makes you feel good, 899 00:47:37,655 --> 00:47:39,655 that's hard to come by. 900 00:47:41,925 --> 00:47:45,228 - When you, you choked me... 901 00:47:45,230 --> 00:47:46,796 - yeah, I'm sorry about that, that... 902 00:47:46,798 --> 00:47:51,033 - it's, it's ok, I just, I'm, 903 00:47:54,404 --> 00:47:56,372 right at the end there, 904 00:47:57,474 --> 00:48:00,543 just as I was starting to black out, 905 00:48:04,047 --> 00:48:08,284 it was the most euphoric thing I've ever felt in my life. 906 00:48:43,253 --> 00:48:44,253 - Does that mean stop? 907 00:48:46,357 --> 00:48:47,357 Was it ok? 908 00:48:48,725 --> 00:48:51,694 - It was amazing. 909 00:48:51,696 --> 00:48:54,997 - I wanna try. 910 00:48:54,999 --> 00:48:55,831 - Are you sure? 911 00:48:55,833 --> 00:48:57,099 - Yeah, definitely. 912 00:48:57,101 --> 00:49:01,237 - Uh, well, maybe we should have a safe word, 913 00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,873 you know, like when you want me to stop, 914 00:49:03,875 --> 00:49:06,909 you say rutabaga or whatever. 915 00:49:06,911 --> 00:49:10,179 - How am I gonna say rutabaga if you're choking me? 916 00:49:10,181 --> 00:49:12,114 - Rooabegguh. 917 00:49:12,116 --> 00:49:13,215 - How 'bout I just squeeze your wrist 918 00:49:13,217 --> 00:49:15,284 really quick, like this? 919 00:49:20,158 --> 00:49:21,657 - Kay, you ready? 920 00:49:22,559 --> 00:49:24,961 - I have HBO. 921 00:49:24,963 --> 00:49:25,963 - What? 922 00:49:28,198 --> 00:49:32,435 - At my apartment, I have HBO and laundry. 923 00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:37,807 - Ok. 924 00:49:39,109 --> 00:49:40,109 - Ok. 925 00:51:20,243 --> 00:51:21,944 - Good morning. 926 00:51:21,946 --> 00:51:22,946 - Hey. 927 00:51:24,581 --> 00:51:26,415 - That was quite a thing, huh? 928 00:51:26,417 --> 00:51:28,017 - Uh, thing? 929 00:51:28,019 --> 00:51:30,419 - Uh, I just mean, you know. 930 00:51:31,254 --> 00:51:33,189 - What, I don't know, what's a thing? 931 00:51:33,191 --> 00:51:35,891 - Uh, a night, I guess. 932 00:51:35,893 --> 00:51:39,628 - Oh, yeah, definitely was a night, ok, yep. 933 00:51:41,698 --> 00:51:43,032 - What are you, what are you doing? 934 00:51:43,034 --> 00:51:45,935 - I'm just trying to, there we go. 935 00:51:46,736 --> 00:51:50,473 Get my underwear. 936 00:51:50,475 --> 00:51:52,274 - Did i... 937 00:51:52,276 --> 00:51:53,342 - hmm? 938 00:51:54,311 --> 00:51:55,578 - Is something wrong? 939 00:51:55,580 --> 00:51:58,914 - Um, I just, 940 00:52:00,750 --> 00:52:04,987 I, I shouldn'ta done that. 941 00:52:05,956 --> 00:52:09,358 - It's ok, it's ok, I mean, things got kinda wild, but... 942 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:10,926 - no, it's not ok. 943 00:52:11,761 --> 00:52:13,996 Um, this is Jessica's bed, 944 00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:20,069 and I shouldn't be having sex 945 00:52:20,071 --> 00:52:22,705 with someone else in Jessica's bed. 946 00:52:22,707 --> 00:52:27,643 - Well, I mean, she has sex with someone else in this bed. 947 00:52:27,645 --> 00:52:29,845 - Don't make it gross! 948 00:52:29,847 --> 00:52:33,182 This, it was disrespectful, 949 00:52:33,984 --> 00:52:37,686 and I shouldn't have done that to her. 950 00:52:37,688 --> 00:52:39,155 - I don't mean to nitpick here, 951 00:52:39,157 --> 00:52:41,423 but you didn't do anything to her. 952 00:52:41,425 --> 00:52:43,959 You did a lot of things to me. 953 00:52:45,061 --> 00:52:46,061 - Uh, oh. 954 00:52:46,939 --> 00:52:48,198 - What are you doing? 955 00:52:48,199 --> 00:52:50,933 - Uh, we need to wash these sheets. 956 00:52:50,935 --> 00:52:52,368 - Oh, Jesus! 957 00:52:52,370 --> 00:52:54,036 - What, that's just common courtesy. 958 00:52:54,038 --> 00:52:56,038 - No, you just fucked me six ways to Sunday! 959 00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:59,341 Common courtesy is to buy me breakfast! 960 00:53:00,243 --> 00:53:04,213 - I'm sorry, I-i didn't mean to fuck you. 961 00:53:04,215 --> 00:53:05,714 It was an accident. 962 00:53:05,716 --> 00:53:09,552 - Well, that was a long, drawn-out accident! 963 00:53:09,554 --> 00:53:10,786 - Yeah, sorry. 964 00:53:25,302 --> 00:53:26,902 You found the computer. 965 00:53:26,904 --> 00:53:28,270 - I did. 966 00:53:28,272 --> 00:53:30,372 - Why are you wearing a robe? 967 00:53:30,374 --> 00:53:33,609 - Because Jessica's fiancee has terrible toilet aim. 968 00:53:33,611 --> 00:53:36,478 I can't find the code, by the way. 969 00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:40,416 I'm looking for hours, found a lot of other stuff, 970 00:53:40,418 --> 00:53:41,984 but no alarm code. 971 00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:45,421 Whatta you been up to? 972 00:53:45,423 --> 00:53:48,657 - Um, fell asleep, the wine, you know. 973 00:53:49,492 --> 00:53:51,660 I-is this all the jewelry you found? 974 00:53:51,662 --> 00:53:54,330 - Why, do you wanna add it to the jewelry you found? 975 00:53:54,332 --> 00:53:57,733 - No, it's just, uh, my ring's not here. 976 00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:01,503 - Maybe she got rid of it. 977 00:54:01,505 --> 00:54:03,205 - What's that mean? 978 00:54:03,207 --> 00:54:05,608 - You know, sold it, gave it away. 979 00:54:05,610 --> 00:54:07,076 Threw it in the ocean. 980 00:54:07,078 --> 00:54:08,377 - Wh-wh-why-wh, 981 00:54:11,715 --> 00:54:12,781 what's this? 982 00:54:14,551 --> 00:54:15,718 - Diary. 983 00:54:15,720 --> 00:54:16,986 - Jessica's? 984 00:54:16,988 --> 00:54:17,988 - Yeah. 985 00:54:18,989 --> 00:54:21,056 - How do you know, did you read it? 986 00:54:21,058 --> 00:54:23,559 - I'm looking for the code. 987 00:54:24,496 --> 00:54:25,395 Morning. 988 00:54:25,396 --> 00:54:28,831 - Morning, anyone want breakfast? 989 00:54:28,833 --> 00:54:29,833 I'm buying! 990 00:54:32,936 --> 00:54:35,604 - I'm not in here at, at all! 991 00:54:35,606 --> 00:54:37,740 - I noticed that. 992 00:54:37,742 --> 00:54:39,642 - I mean, I didn't expect to be on every page, 993 00:54:39,644 --> 00:54:42,778 but maybe one mention would be nice, you know. 994 00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:45,014 "I thought of Leo today in passing, 995 00:54:45,016 --> 00:54:48,284 "he's a person that I remember." 996 00:54:48,286 --> 00:54:53,022 - Yep, some people just aren't much for history. 997 00:54:53,024 --> 00:54:56,091 - Hold on, there's gotta be at least one. 998 00:55:00,697 --> 00:55:02,798 - You looked stressed, you want some tomato juice? 999 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,200 - Yeah, did I tell you that? 1000 00:55:05,969 --> 00:55:07,102 - Tell me what? 1001 00:55:07,104 --> 00:55:09,738 - That tomato juice calms me down. 1002 00:55:09,740 --> 00:55:11,040 - Come on, man! 1003 00:55:13,511 --> 00:55:14,511 Oh, 11:11! 1004 00:55:21,985 --> 00:55:24,653 - $104,900, that's what we're up to. 1005 00:55:24,655 --> 00:55:28,490 It's been 525 days since our last winner, 1006 00:55:28,492 --> 00:55:30,592 twice a day, every day, at 11:11, 1007 00:55:30,594 --> 00:55:33,028 we pose the impossible question! 1008 00:55:33,030 --> 00:55:35,331 And the good, kind folks as black bear markets 1009 00:55:35,333 --> 00:55:36,498 add another hundred dollars 1010 00:55:36,500 --> 00:55:37,966 - to the kitty. - Shh! 1011 00:55:37,968 --> 00:55:39,601 - Call with the answer within 22 seconds 1012 00:55:39,603 --> 00:55:42,304 and that kitty's all yours. 1013 00:55:42,306 --> 00:55:43,872 It's so simple 1014 00:55:43,874 --> 00:55:47,176 if it weren't impossible, so phones at the ready. 1015 00:55:47,178 --> 00:55:51,647 Here it comes, other than Elvis Presley, who... 1016 00:55:52,883 --> 00:55:54,683 - turn it off! 1017 00:55:54,685 --> 00:55:56,218 Turn it off, turn it off! 1018 00:55:56,220 --> 00:55:57,486 - What the fuck! 1019 00:55:57,488 --> 00:55:58,487 - One calendar year? 1020 00:55:58,489 --> 00:56:00,122 - The fuck is wrong with you people? 1021 00:56:00,124 --> 00:56:00,956 - 10 seconds left. 1022 00:56:00,958 --> 00:56:01,790 - Shh! 1023 00:56:01,792 --> 00:56:05,461 - God! Other than Elvis Presley, who outlived his twin brother at childbirth 1024 00:56:05,463 --> 00:56:07,629 and went on to have four number one singles 1025 00:56:07,631 --> 00:56:09,064 in one calendar year? 1026 00:56:09,066 --> 00:56:12,301 - Marlon Jackson, it's Marlon Jackson! 1027 00:56:14,304 --> 00:56:15,437 It's ringing! 1028 00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:18,307 - And time is up! 1029 00:56:18,309 --> 00:56:21,043 - Fuck! 1030 00:56:21,045 --> 00:56:23,178 - The answer, Marlon Jackson 1031 00:56:23,180 --> 00:56:24,613 of the Jackson 5! 1032 00:56:24,615 --> 00:56:26,882 - Oh, shit! 1033 00:56:26,884 --> 00:56:28,150 Brandon died at childbirth, 1034 00:56:28,152 --> 00:56:32,254 and the Jackson 5 had four number one hits in 1970. 1035 00:56:32,256 --> 00:56:33,555 I want you back, 1036 00:56:33,557 --> 00:56:37,459 ABC, the love you save, and I'll be there. 1037 00:56:40,798 --> 00:56:42,698 - They're coming home. 1038 00:56:47,404 --> 00:56:48,971 - Where are they now? 1039 00:56:48,973 --> 00:56:50,839 - I don't know, she posted this an hour ago. 1040 00:56:50,841 --> 00:56:54,143 Headed home early, I wonder what happened? 1041 00:56:54,145 --> 00:56:57,613 - Who cares! Why are you creeping on her Facebook like that? 1042 00:56:57,615 --> 00:57:01,550 - I am not Cree, that's irrelevant to the situation, ok? 1043 00:57:01,552 --> 00:57:04,186 They're coming home, here, now! 1044 00:57:04,188 --> 00:57:05,587 - Where were they? 1045 00:57:05,589 --> 00:57:06,422 - I don't know. 1046 00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:07,589 - Hawaii. 1047 00:57:07,591 --> 00:57:10,692 - Creeper! Don't ke, all right. 1048 00:57:10,694 --> 00:57:13,962 You're the creeper, always breakin' into houses, 1049 00:57:13,964 --> 00:57:17,599 tryin' on people's lives 'cause you don't like your own. 1050 00:57:17,601 --> 00:57:19,168 - My life is fine. 1051 00:57:20,136 --> 00:57:22,538 I just do it for the thrill. 1052 00:57:23,506 --> 00:57:26,375 - Well, I had a real life once 1053 00:57:26,377 --> 00:57:29,411 and it was pretty fuckin' thrilling. 1054 00:57:31,514 --> 00:57:32,514 - Ok, look. 1055 00:57:33,616 --> 00:57:35,451 Hawaii is a long flight. 1056 00:57:35,453 --> 00:57:38,854 They have to get their baggage, there's the cab ride. 1057 00:57:38,856 --> 00:57:40,689 We've got some time. 1058 00:57:40,691 --> 00:57:42,891 - To do what, we either get caught by her, 1059 00:57:42,893 --> 00:57:45,394 or we trip the alarm and get caught by the cops! 1060 00:57:45,396 --> 00:57:46,795 - I choose the cops. 1061 00:57:46,797 --> 00:57:47,830 - Are you serious? 1062 00:57:47,832 --> 00:57:49,598 - If we get caught by her, 1063 00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:52,167 she's gonna call the cops, it all ends in cops! 1064 00:57:52,169 --> 00:57:53,602 - Not if we talk our way out of it. 1065 00:57:53,604 --> 00:57:55,771 - How am I gonna talk my way out of it? 1066 00:57:55,773 --> 00:57:57,606 She knows me, intimately! 1067 00:57:57,608 --> 00:58:00,075 Oh, so, am I like, "hey, Jessica, 1068 00:58:00,077 --> 00:58:01,009 "wow, what are you doin' here? 1069 00:58:01,011 --> 00:58:02,377 "We're just trying to rob this place, 1070 00:58:02,379 --> 00:58:04,446 "small world after all, huh?" 1071 00:58:04,448 --> 00:58:07,416 - Ok, so we hide you in the fish and I do the talking. 1072 00:58:07,418 --> 00:58:10,319 - Actually, uh, she knows me, too. 1073 00:58:11,421 --> 00:58:16,091 She hates me. 1074 00:58:16,093 --> 00:58:18,427 - Ok, so we hide both of you. 1075 00:58:18,429 --> 00:58:22,798 - Fine, so say that you spin a real silver-tongued yarn 1076 00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:26,134 and they let you go, how do we get out? 1077 00:58:27,403 --> 00:58:28,704 - I don't care. 1078 00:58:35,378 --> 00:58:37,246 - She is not a good person! 1079 00:58:37,248 --> 00:58:39,915 I mean, I know it's not easy to be a good person 1080 00:58:39,917 --> 00:58:41,583 when times are tough, but that's how you know 1081 00:58:41,585 --> 00:58:45,754 if you're a good person in the first place, you know? 1082 00:58:45,756 --> 00:58:48,457 - Yeah, I d-do, that, I used to, 1083 00:58:49,759 --> 00:58:52,227 I know exactly what you mean. 1084 00:58:53,396 --> 00:58:55,397 - Let's go make a plan. 1085 00:58:56,699 --> 00:58:59,301 We dig, under and out. 1086 00:58:59,303 --> 00:59:01,970 - I don't think we have that kinda time. 1087 00:59:01,972 --> 00:59:04,439 - Ok, um, 1088 00:59:04,441 --> 00:59:05,641 we set a fire. 1089 00:59:05,643 --> 00:59:06,475 - Where? 1090 00:59:06,477 --> 00:59:07,609 - In the house. 1091 00:59:07,611 --> 00:59:08,844 - In the fireplace? 1092 00:59:08,846 --> 00:59:11,280 - No, we set the house on fire. 1093 00:59:11,282 --> 00:59:14,449 Lots of smoke, confusion, and then we slip away 1094 00:59:14,451 --> 00:59:17,753 under the, uh, cover of chaos. 1095 00:59:17,755 --> 00:59:20,923 - Or we die in a terrible house fire! 1096 00:59:22,191 --> 00:59:23,191 - Ok. 1097 00:59:25,128 --> 00:59:27,195 Then same idea, no fire. 1098 00:59:28,364 --> 00:59:30,232 - What's a fireless fire? 1099 00:59:30,234 --> 00:59:32,467 - We just go, trip the alarm, 1100 00:59:32,469 --> 00:59:35,003 and, uh, hide in the trees. 1101 00:59:35,005 --> 00:59:38,574 - Ok. Cops come, look around, think it's a false alarm, 1102 00:59:38,576 --> 00:59:41,843 and then, uh, we get outta here. 1103 00:59:41,845 --> 00:59:42,844 - All right, that's progress, 1104 00:59:42,846 --> 00:59:45,180 but we're still inside the gate. 1105 00:59:45,182 --> 00:59:49,551 The whole community is fenced in, we're like zoo animals. 1106 00:59:49,553 --> 00:59:52,054 - So we just climb the fence. 1107 00:59:53,323 --> 00:59:55,057 - Ok, uh, if we can, 1108 00:59:55,992 --> 01:00:00,162 that would put us inside another gated community. 1109 01:00:01,698 --> 01:00:04,232 - I, who are these people 1110 01:00:04,234 --> 01:00:07,669 trying to protect themselves from, each other? 1111 01:00:07,671 --> 01:00:12,207 Other marauding gangs of Volvo drivers we don't know about? 1112 01:00:12,209 --> 01:00:13,909 - We need the code. 1113 01:00:13,911 --> 01:00:15,010 - I've looked everywhere. 1114 01:00:15,012 --> 01:00:17,012 - Well, maybe it's in the garage, that lockbox? 1115 01:00:17,014 --> 01:00:18,680 - No. 1116 01:00:18,682 --> 01:00:20,582 - You found the key? 1117 01:00:20,584 --> 01:00:24,086 - No, it wasn't, um, with the other keys. 1118 01:00:25,321 --> 01:00:29,191 I haven't seen it, so it probably just, you know. 1119 01:00:29,193 --> 01:00:30,258 - Just what? 1120 01:00:32,629 --> 01:00:33,929 - I don't know. 1121 01:00:35,198 --> 01:00:37,332 - Well, might as well look for it. 1122 01:00:37,334 --> 01:00:39,267 It might be our only hope. 1123 01:00:39,269 --> 01:00:40,269 - Yeah, ok. 1124 01:00:48,778 --> 01:00:50,145 What are you doing? 1125 01:00:50,147 --> 01:00:52,247 - If we open the doors of the rooms we've already searched, 1126 01:00:52,249 --> 01:00:53,849 then we know we've already been there. 1127 01:00:53,851 --> 01:00:56,184 - We're looking for a tiny key or a four-digit code. 1128 01:00:56,186 --> 01:00:57,653 Do you think that you searched these rooms 1129 01:00:57,655 --> 01:00:58,754 well enough to just walk away... 1130 01:00:58,756 --> 01:01:00,555 - I'm working in broad strokes. 1131 01:01:00,557 --> 01:01:03,025 - Ok, fine, I don't. 1132 01:01:03,961 --> 01:01:05,460 - Whoa, what the fuck? 1133 01:01:05,462 --> 01:01:06,728 Whoa, watch the door! 1134 01:01:06,730 --> 01:01:08,830 - What the fuck is going on? 1135 01:01:08,832 --> 01:01:09,665 - Who did this? 1136 01:01:09,667 --> 01:01:10,632 - How did they get in here? 1137 01:01:10,634 --> 01:01:11,700 - No, no, no! 1138 01:01:11,702 --> 01:01:13,368 - What the fuck is going on here? 1139 01:01:13,370 --> 01:01:14,703 - Just leave it, leave me! 1140 01:01:14,705 --> 01:01:17,305 - We're not gonna leave you! I'll be fine, just worry about yourself! 1141 01:01:17,307 --> 01:01:18,140 - Who did this? 1142 01:01:18,142 --> 01:01:18,974 - How did they get in? 1143 01:01:18,976 --> 01:01:19,808 - Nobody! - Who? 1144 01:01:19,810 --> 01:01:23,278 - How many? Nobody did it, there's nobody here! 1145 01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:25,647 - There's nobody here? 1146 01:01:25,649 --> 01:01:26,649 - No. 1147 01:01:28,885 --> 01:01:30,852 - Then who tied you up? 1148 01:01:31,888 --> 01:01:34,690 - I did. 1149 01:01:38,194 --> 01:01:41,663 - So you were just gonna sell us up the river? 1150 01:01:41,665 --> 01:01:44,099 - Don't get pissed off at me just because I had a plan! 1151 01:01:44,101 --> 01:01:45,300 - How'd you tie yourself up like that? 1152 01:01:45,302 --> 01:01:46,968 - That's not the point, Marlon! 1153 01:01:46,970 --> 01:01:50,338 - She picks locks, she ties herself up in elaborate knots! 1154 01:01:50,340 --> 01:01:53,041 You don't find that a curious skill set for a dog Walker? 1155 01:01:53,043 --> 01:01:54,242 - I'm not a dog Walker. 1156 01:01:54,244 --> 01:01:57,546 - See? All right, they show up, you're gagged and bound, 1157 01:01:57,548 --> 01:02:01,416 so you're just a fellow victim of this senseless crime. 1158 01:02:01,418 --> 01:02:02,584 - You're the ones who locked us in, 1159 01:02:02,586 --> 01:02:05,420 I'm just looking for a way out! 1160 01:02:05,422 --> 01:02:08,390 - Devious, very, very devious! 1161 01:02:08,392 --> 01:02:10,225 - Why are your clothes off? 1162 01:02:10,227 --> 01:02:11,860 - Look, it was just one idea. 1163 01:02:11,862 --> 01:02:14,296 Probably not the best one, can we just move on? 1164 01:02:14,298 --> 01:02:15,597 - But why are they ripped? 1165 01:02:15,599 --> 01:02:17,065 - Again, the clock is ticking, 1166 01:02:17,067 --> 01:02:19,835 let's not waste time reliving past mistakes. 1167 01:02:23,806 --> 01:02:27,509 If I needed to and only if they were not 1168 01:02:27,511 --> 01:02:31,747 buying my story, I might have had to go with more of a, 1169 01:02:33,583 --> 01:02:35,851 kind of a sexual assault angle. 1170 01:02:35,853 --> 01:02:37,085 - What? 1171 01:02:37,087 --> 01:02:38,787 - Devious, dirty little... 1172 01:02:38,789 --> 01:02:41,723 - ok, looking at it from your perspective, 1173 01:02:41,725 --> 01:02:44,993 I can see how that was probably too far. 1174 01:02:44,995 --> 01:02:46,261 - Probably? 1175 01:02:46,263 --> 01:02:48,663 - Definitely, definitely too far, 1176 01:02:48,665 --> 01:02:50,365 and I'm so glad it didn't come to that, 1177 01:02:50,367 --> 01:02:51,433 but you know, there are always, like, 1178 01:02:51,435 --> 01:02:53,668 a couple clunkers when you're brainstorming. 1179 01:02:53,670 --> 01:02:55,003 - What, we weren't brainstorming! 1180 01:02:55,005 --> 01:02:57,539 You were setting us up for charges of kidnapping, 1181 01:02:57,541 --> 01:03:00,242 of, uh, assault and battery, and rape! 1182 01:03:00,244 --> 01:03:01,343 - And burglary. 1183 01:03:01,345 --> 01:03:02,544 - That doesn't concern me right now. 1184 01:03:02,546 --> 01:03:05,580 - Well, that's where we're back to, burglary. 1185 01:03:05,582 --> 01:03:06,815 - I haven't taken anything, 1186 01:03:06,817 --> 01:03:10,285 so breaking and entering, maybe. 1187 01:03:10,287 --> 01:03:13,722 - We didn't break anything, we used the key. 1188 01:03:13,724 --> 01:03:16,191 We did stain the rug, but that's not technically broken. 1189 01:03:16,193 --> 01:03:19,027 - The point is, we're in trouble! 1190 01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:22,864 - But trouble is just an opportunity 1191 01:03:22,866 --> 01:03:25,100 that got turned around, am I right? 1192 01:03:25,102 --> 01:03:28,637 - Yeah. What kind of fortune cookie bullshit is that? 1193 01:03:28,639 --> 01:03:32,841 - That's not bullshit, that is solid, deep thinking! 1194 01:03:33,743 --> 01:03:37,913 - Hey, fish, uh, you know where you found everything else? 1195 01:03:37,915 --> 01:03:39,281 - What about it? 1196 01:03:39,283 --> 01:03:41,449 - Are you sure you didn't miss anything? 1197 01:03:41,451 --> 01:03:44,119 - Yes, I'm sure I didn't miss anything! 1198 01:03:44,121 --> 01:03:47,389 I don't need the accusations, thank you very much. 1199 01:03:47,391 --> 01:03:48,623 - Worth looking at, though. 1200 01:03:48,625 --> 01:03:51,726 - What, eh, wh-why are you taking her side? 1201 01:03:51,728 --> 01:03:52,961 - I'm not takin' anyone's side, 1202 01:03:52,963 --> 01:03:56,665 I'm just sayin' it's worth double-checking. 1203 01:03:56,667 --> 01:03:58,733 - Ugh, that's fucked up! 1204 01:04:05,007 --> 01:04:06,208 - I can't feel anything. 1205 01:04:06,210 --> 01:04:07,042 - Told ya. 1206 01:04:07,044 --> 01:04:08,243 - Get way back in there. 1207 01:04:08,245 --> 01:04:09,177 - I am! 1208 01:04:09,179 --> 01:04:10,912 - Maybe we should get a flashlight, 1209 01:04:10,914 --> 01:04:12,614 is there a flashlight anywh... 1210 01:04:13,750 --> 01:04:14,850 What is this? 1211 01:04:14,852 --> 01:04:17,052 - Nothing, it's, it's not what you think it is! 1212 01:04:17,054 --> 01:04:18,153 - What do I think it is? - Oh my god! 1213 01:04:18,155 --> 01:04:18,987 - I don't know. 1214 01:04:18,989 --> 01:04:21,623 - All right, give! - Oh, fuck! 1215 01:04:29,766 --> 01:04:33,902 - I just didn't think you needed the distraction! 1216 01:04:35,171 --> 01:04:37,339 We're trying to get out of here, y'know, so I. 1217 01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:45,680 - Holy shit! 1218 01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:50,252 - Sometimes I wake up and think Leo is there 1219 01:04:50,254 --> 01:04:54,256 in the bed beside me, and my heart sinks when I realize. 1220 01:04:54,258 --> 01:04:56,291 He used to say, 1221 01:04:56,293 --> 01:04:59,361 "trouble is just an opportunity that got turned around," 1222 01:04:59,363 --> 01:05:00,829 but I don't know if I'll ever get turned back around. 1223 01:05:00,831 --> 01:05:02,864 Poor Carl walked in on me crying 1224 01:05:02,866 --> 01:05:05,467 during a documentary about Niagara Falls. 1225 01:05:05,469 --> 01:05:07,769 Everything, every feeling was still right there. 1226 01:05:07,771 --> 01:05:10,639 I wish I could just have a tomato juice and calm down. 1227 01:05:10,641 --> 01:05:12,307 It worked for Leo, 1228 01:05:12,309 --> 01:05:14,042 I'd have to drink about a gallon at this point. 1229 01:05:14,044 --> 01:05:18,346 Things got tough with Leo, and I wasn't a good person, 1230 01:05:18,348 --> 01:05:21,816 so maybe I was never a good person in the first place. 1231 01:05:21,818 --> 01:05:23,018 I know that now. 1232 01:05:30,092 --> 01:05:33,895 - Why would she cut out the pages of her own. 1233 01:05:36,065 --> 01:05:40,302 - All that time with Jessica, I never, 1234 01:05:41,938 --> 01:05:43,772 she dumped you, left. 1235 01:05:45,608 --> 01:05:47,609 I'm still here, always. 1236 01:05:50,347 --> 01:05:52,347 We've been talkin' about this heist for forever 1237 01:05:52,349 --> 01:05:55,784 and, you know, a little bit of excitement. 1238 01:05:55,786 --> 01:05:59,788 Doin' our own thing, some teamwork, but, 1239 01:05:59,790 --> 01:06:01,556 now it's just the same shit! 1240 01:06:01,558 --> 01:06:04,292 You had Jessica, now you have her! 1241 01:06:04,294 --> 01:06:05,527 - Her? 1242 01:06:05,529 --> 01:06:08,296 She's gonna tell the cops that I raped her! 1243 01:06:08,298 --> 01:06:10,632 - I believe I apologized. 1244 01:06:10,634 --> 01:06:13,368 - This is the whole reason that we broke in here. 1245 01:06:13,370 --> 01:06:15,570 - No, it's the whole reason you broke in here! 1246 01:06:15,572 --> 01:06:18,974 - This is crazy, this, this changes everything! 1247 01:06:18,976 --> 01:06:22,877 She still... 1248 01:06:22,879 --> 01:06:24,279 I know the code. 1249 01:06:25,781 --> 01:06:26,781 - What? 1250 01:06:28,951 --> 01:06:31,052 - I know the code, it's our anniversary. 1251 01:06:31,054 --> 01:06:32,287 - No, you don't know! 1252 01:06:32,289 --> 01:06:33,288 - No, I know! 1253 01:06:33,290 --> 01:06:35,190 - No, you don't know! 1254 01:06:35,192 --> 01:06:36,891 You're gonna fuck around and get us all arrested 1255 01:06:36,893 --> 01:06:39,294 just 'cause you read some cotton candy thoughts 1256 01:06:39,296 --> 01:06:40,862 in her little girl diary, 1257 01:06:40,864 --> 01:06:41,997 but you don't know the code! 1258 01:06:41,999 --> 01:06:42,999 - Ok, now, 1259 01:06:45,234 --> 01:06:47,936 we haven't been at our best, any of us, 1260 01:06:47,938 --> 01:06:50,939 and maybe someday, we'll all sit down, 1261 01:06:50,941 --> 01:06:54,175 break bread and have our apologies and tender moments 1262 01:06:54,177 --> 01:06:56,711 and whatnot and that'll be nice, I'm sure. 1263 01:06:56,713 --> 01:06:59,114 But right now, this is over. 1264 01:07:00,683 --> 01:07:02,684 I'm getting us out of here, 1265 01:07:02,686 --> 01:07:03,985 because I know. 1266 01:07:14,898 --> 01:07:15,898 There. 1267 01:07:17,900 --> 01:07:19,868 Now, let's go. 1268 01:07:20,704 --> 01:07:22,704 - Fuck! 1269 01:07:22,706 --> 01:07:23,872 - What, that can't be... 1270 01:07:23,874 --> 01:07:26,007 Let's go, we gotta run, hide in the bushes! 1271 01:07:26,009 --> 01:07:26,941 - I don't understand! 1272 01:07:26,943 --> 01:07:28,543 - We're fucked, we run, let's go! 1273 01:07:28,545 --> 01:07:30,612 - Wait, we have to stay! 1274 01:07:31,680 --> 01:07:32,747 - What are you, nuts? 1275 01:07:32,749 --> 01:07:34,482 - No, there's only one way out. 1276 01:07:34,484 --> 01:07:36,084 - Yeah, the door, let's go! 1277 01:07:36,086 --> 01:07:38,853 - No, it's not the door. 1278 01:07:38,855 --> 01:07:40,688 It's him, he's right. 1279 01:07:42,691 --> 01:07:43,691 He knows. 1280 01:08:07,516 --> 01:08:08,516 - Hello? 1281 01:08:15,124 --> 01:08:16,524 This is the police! 1282 01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:26,134 Everybody ok? 1283 01:08:43,119 --> 01:08:45,687 - Oh, oh, ho-ho, oh, thank god! 1284 01:08:45,689 --> 01:08:49,591 Honey, honey, the security guard's here! 1285 01:08:49,593 --> 01:08:51,426 - Oh, I'm so sorry! 1286 01:08:51,428 --> 01:08:52,460 - What? 1287 01:08:52,462 --> 01:08:54,696 - I'm so sorry about this. 1288 01:08:56,799 --> 01:08:59,634 - Kill the alarm, I'm on the scene. 1289 01:08:59,636 --> 01:09:01,870 Hold the backup, stand by. 1290 01:09:04,039 --> 01:09:04,873 - Oh! 1291 01:09:04,875 --> 01:09:06,574 - Oh, god, thank you. 1292 01:09:06,576 --> 01:09:08,943 - Uh, I'm sorry, I, 1293 01:09:08,945 --> 01:09:11,246 I misplaced the little slip of paper 1294 01:09:11,248 --> 01:09:14,516 that my sister wrote the code on for me, 1295 01:09:14,518 --> 01:09:18,586 so, god, that alarm is such a pain sometimes! 1296 01:09:18,588 --> 01:09:21,156 - Yeah, sometimes. 1297 01:09:24,627 --> 01:09:26,594 You said miss Deevers is your sister? 1298 01:09:26,596 --> 01:09:27,896 - That's right. 1299 01:09:29,865 --> 01:09:34,602 That's me and, uh, my sister, Jessica, the homeowner, 1300 01:09:34,604 --> 01:09:38,506 with our younger sister Carla and mom and dad. 1301 01:09:39,542 --> 01:09:43,811 It's in Virginia city, have you ever been? 1302 01:09:43,813 --> 01:09:44,646 - Nope. 1303 01:09:44,648 --> 01:09:46,247 - Oh, it's a thing to see, 1304 01:09:46,249 --> 01:09:49,450 just like you'da pictured the old west to have been. 1305 01:09:49,452 --> 01:09:51,786 Like, it's a lotta fun. 1306 01:09:51,788 --> 01:09:53,821 - Well, I'll have to check that out sometime. 1307 01:09:53,823 --> 01:09:55,690 - You'll have to take me, 1308 01:09:55,692 --> 01:09:58,626 god, he talks about it all the time, but we've never gone. 1309 01:09:58,628 --> 01:10:00,628 - Well, you know. 1310 01:10:00,630 --> 01:10:01,796 You get busy. 1311 01:10:03,699 --> 01:10:06,167 - I've met your folks before. 1312 01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,270 Yeah, your dad. 1313 01:10:09,272 --> 01:10:10,805 - Randy. 1314 01:10:10,807 --> 01:10:12,040 - Yeah, Randy. 1315 01:10:12,684 --> 01:10:13,943 Uh, he helped me out, 1316 01:10:13,944 --> 01:10:17,445 I was havin' some trouble with the gate. 1317 01:10:17,447 --> 01:10:19,747 - Well, I bet he loved that. 1318 01:10:19,749 --> 01:10:22,250 He's so good with those sorts of things. 1319 01:10:22,252 --> 01:10:26,321 He should've been a mechanic or maybe a surgeon, even. 1320 01:10:26,323 --> 01:10:28,156 Anything but insurance. 1321 01:10:28,158 --> 01:10:31,392 - Yeah, well, he, yeah, he fixed it right up, so. 1322 01:10:31,394 --> 01:10:33,895 And your mom made these, um... 1323 01:10:33,897 --> 01:10:36,331 - I hope it was the lemon bars. 1324 01:10:36,333 --> 01:10:37,165 - Yeah, that's right. 1325 01:10:37,167 --> 01:10:38,967 - Lucky, 1326 01:10:38,969 --> 01:10:40,935 those are the only things she knows how to make. 1327 01:10:40,937 --> 01:10:42,804 - Well, they were good, so. 1328 01:10:42,806 --> 01:10:44,672 - Well, you dodged a bullet. 1329 01:10:44,674 --> 01:10:46,507 Seriously, I've never seen a woman 1330 01:10:46,509 --> 01:10:49,010 make more of a disaster of snickerdoodles. 1331 01:10:49,012 --> 01:10:52,180 It's terrible, but you have to eat 'em. 1332 01:10:52,182 --> 01:10:55,483 - I don't remember you folks comin' in. 1333 01:10:55,485 --> 01:10:57,485 - Oh, you know, I think the, uh, 1334 01:10:57,487 --> 01:11:00,255 the other gentleman was working. 1335 01:11:00,257 --> 01:11:01,856 - Leslie? 1336 01:11:01,858 --> 01:11:03,658 - Ooh, I don't... - Um. 1337 01:11:04,693 --> 01:11:08,363 - Yeah, he, he did work the day shift. 1338 01:11:08,365 --> 01:11:11,065 Normally, he lets me know if we have visitors. 1339 01:11:11,067 --> 01:11:13,067 - Yeah, uh, well, if there's some paperwork 1340 01:11:13,069 --> 01:11:14,469 that we're supposed to fill out or something, 1341 01:11:14,471 --> 01:11:16,037 we'd be happy to do it, I mean... 1342 01:11:16,039 --> 01:11:18,306 - no, you know, it's just normally, people let us know 1343 01:11:18,308 --> 01:11:21,209 if they're gonna have guests while they're away. 1344 01:11:21,211 --> 01:11:25,480 - Well, Jessica, details aren't really her thing. 1345 01:11:25,482 --> 01:11:28,116 She just told us to get out of the city for a couple days, 1346 01:11:28,118 --> 01:11:31,352 and, you know, spend some quiet time together. 1347 01:11:31,354 --> 01:11:34,656 - We just got engaged. 1348 01:11:34,658 --> 01:11:36,391 - Well, congratulations! 1349 01:11:36,393 --> 01:11:38,593 - That's fantastic! - Yeah, thank you, thanks. 1350 01:11:38,595 --> 01:11:41,429 - Phone's ready, here it comes. 1351 01:11:41,431 --> 01:11:43,798 What is the only variety of grape 1352 01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:46,734 that is actually named after a god? 1353 01:11:52,641 --> 01:11:54,709 - Can we get you somethin' to eat? 1354 01:11:54,711 --> 01:11:57,111 - Oh, god, I'd offer you some soup, but, aw god, 1355 01:11:57,113 --> 01:12:01,883 that darn alarm went out and, god, it just surprised me! 1356 01:12:01,885 --> 01:12:05,887 - Uh, maybe some pretzels or chips, or ravioli? 1357 01:12:08,925 --> 01:12:11,059 Some people don't like eating it out of the can, 1358 01:12:11,061 --> 01:12:13,261 but it reminds me of growing up. 1359 01:12:13,263 --> 01:12:15,730 - Uh, no, I'm good, thank you. 1360 01:12:15,732 --> 01:12:17,365 - Oh, I'm told we have a caller, 1361 01:12:17,367 --> 01:12:18,866 and just in time! 1362 01:12:18,868 --> 01:12:22,236 Hello, are you ready to reveal the impossible? 1363 01:12:22,238 --> 01:12:24,238 - Yes, it's sangiovese. 1364 01:12:25,040 --> 01:12:26,007 - Uh, I-I'm sorry, 1365 01:12:26,009 --> 01:12:28,843 you need to speak up, please. 1366 01:12:28,845 --> 01:12:31,212 - It's sangiovese! 1367 01:12:31,214 --> 01:12:33,114 - That's correct! 1368 01:12:33,116 --> 01:12:34,148 - Whoa! 1369 01:12:35,752 --> 01:12:39,987 - Oh, that is, some people have all the luck, huh? 1370 01:12:43,860 --> 01:12:47,161 - Man, I bet that guy's partyin' hard wherever he is! 1371 01:12:47,163 --> 01:12:49,197 - No doubt! 1372 01:12:49,199 --> 01:12:50,031 Congratulations, 1373 01:12:50,033 --> 01:12:52,867 you've just won $105,000! 1374 01:12:52,869 --> 01:12:54,602 What's your name? 1375 01:12:54,604 --> 01:12:56,170 - Marlon. 1376 01:12:56,172 --> 01:12:58,573 - Like the fish? 1377 01:12:58,575 --> 01:13:00,975 - Yeah, yeah, like the fish. 1378 01:13:06,516 --> 01:13:08,349 - Uh, well, apologies again 1379 01:13:08,351 --> 01:13:10,451 for causing all the ruckus, y'know? 1380 01:13:10,453 --> 01:13:12,153 - No problem at all. 1381 01:13:12,155 --> 01:13:13,421 Happens all the time. 1382 01:13:13,423 --> 01:13:16,290 These alarms are more trouble than they're worth. 1383 01:13:16,292 --> 01:13:18,626 I mean, to be honest, it's kind of a letdown. 1384 01:13:18,628 --> 01:13:21,028 Just once, I wanna come in, guns a'blazin', 1385 01:13:21,030 --> 01:13:24,298 have it out with some scumbags. 1386 01:13:24,300 --> 01:13:26,134 We can dream, though, right? 1387 01:13:26,136 --> 01:13:27,769 You have a good night. 1388 01:13:27,771 --> 01:13:31,672 Oh, shit, sorry, guys. 1389 01:13:32,941 --> 01:13:35,743 I just gotta go by the book with this kinda stuff. 1390 01:13:35,745 --> 01:13:36,811 - Of course. 1391 01:13:37,746 --> 01:13:40,448 - I just need you to tell me the safe word. 1392 01:13:40,450 --> 01:13:44,185 - Rutabaga, sorry, that's our safe word. 1393 01:13:44,187 --> 01:13:45,653 Ah, sorry, overshare. 1394 01:13:45,655 --> 01:13:50,491 - H-honey, uh, uh, safe word? 1395 01:13:50,493 --> 01:13:52,827 - Yeah, you know, the word you're supposed to know 1396 01:13:52,829 --> 01:13:54,595 when you're in the house. 1397 01:13:54,597 --> 01:13:56,998 Just clears that you're actually allowed to be here. 1398 01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:58,000 - Mm-hmm. 1399 01:14:01,003 --> 01:14:04,372 - You can call your sister if you need to, that's fine. 1400 01:14:12,781 --> 01:14:17,652 - Ooh, one word you say? 1401 01:14:17,654 --> 01:14:18,654 - Yeah. 1402 01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:24,960 - Honey, 1403 01:14:27,396 --> 01:14:28,396 you know. 1404 01:14:42,945 --> 01:14:43,945 - Niagara. 1405 01:14:47,983 --> 01:14:49,917 - That's the one. 1406 01:14:49,919 --> 01:14:51,052 You guys have a good night. 1407 01:14:51,054 --> 01:14:52,086 - Oh, uh, you, too. 1408 01:14:52,088 --> 01:14:54,956 Oh, hey, um, you can leave that open, 1409 01:14:54,958 --> 01:14:56,824 we're gonna head to the store in a second. 1410 01:14:56,826 --> 01:14:58,226 Start over with that soup. 1411 01:14:58,228 --> 01:15:00,228 - The soup, yeah. 1412 01:15:00,230 --> 01:15:01,963 - Sounds good to me. 1413 01:15:23,485 --> 01:15:24,652 - Let's get the fuck outta here! 1414 01:15:24,654 --> 01:15:26,287 - Fish! 1415 01:15:26,289 --> 01:15:27,388 - Did you hear that shit? 1416 01:15:27,390 --> 01:15:28,222 - Let's go! 1417 01:15:28,224 --> 01:15:29,224 - $105,000! 1418 01:15:30,025 --> 01:15:31,626 - Congratulations, let's go! 1419 01:15:31,628 --> 01:15:32,493 - Let's load these up! 1420 01:15:32,495 --> 01:15:33,327 - No time. 1421 01:15:33,329 --> 01:15:34,161 - What about the pizza? 1422 01:15:34,163 --> 01:15:34,996 - What? 1423 01:15:34,998 --> 01:15:35,830 - Our ride? 1424 01:15:35,832 --> 01:15:36,664 - I have my car! 1425 01:15:36,666 --> 01:15:38,065 - Go, go, go! 1426 01:15:47,209 --> 01:15:48,709 - Hold on, let me make room for you. 1427 01:15:52,715 --> 01:15:53,714 - You leave anything there? 1428 01:15:53,716 --> 01:15:56,918 - Nope. 1429 01:15:56,920 --> 01:15:57,920 No, wait! 1430 01:16:18,240 --> 01:16:19,240 Bye. 1431 01:16:40,964 --> 01:16:43,164 - Chocolate chip pancakes? 1432 01:16:43,166 --> 01:16:44,899 Those sound amazing. 1433 01:16:45,701 --> 01:16:47,902 - Yeah, people like them. 1434 01:16:47,904 --> 01:16:51,205 - You know what, we might be one-percenters, almost. 1435 01:16:51,207 --> 01:16:54,141 You know, collectively, our forces combined. 1436 01:16:54,143 --> 01:16:56,477 But with this kind of seed money, 1437 01:16:56,479 --> 01:16:58,613 we could plan a proper job. 1438 01:16:58,615 --> 01:17:01,182 You know, we're experienced now, we can go big! 1439 01:17:01,184 --> 01:17:03,217 Something with grappling hooks, 1440 01:17:03,219 --> 01:17:05,920 or go all d.B. Cooper, fuckin' legends! 1441 01:17:05,922 --> 01:17:07,521 - Maybe we could just get 1442 01:17:07,523 --> 01:17:10,257 a little breakfast first, and then see... 1443 01:17:10,259 --> 01:17:12,360 - yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, um, 1444 01:17:12,362 --> 01:17:15,529 breakfast is on me by the way. 1445 01:17:15,531 --> 01:17:19,266 Huh, I should give this to that guy. 1446 01:17:19,268 --> 01:17:21,002 - I'll get this one. 1447 01:17:22,204 --> 01:17:24,872 I owe Darcy a breakfast anyhow. 1448 01:17:26,642 --> 01:17:30,578 - Uh, ok, so now that we're all, um, 1449 01:17:30,580 --> 01:17:32,980 it's actually Kate, my name. 1450 01:17:36,318 --> 01:17:37,318 - Devious. 1451 01:17:37,320 --> 01:17:40,554 - Where you gonna put that lamp? 1452 01:17:40,556 --> 01:17:41,722 - Craigslist. 1453 01:17:43,558 --> 01:17:45,493 It's our only score from the job. 1454 01:17:45,495 --> 01:17:46,495 - Well, 1455 01:17:47,362 --> 01:17:48,362 and this. 1456 01:17:49,097 --> 01:17:50,898 - What, that's crazy! 1457 01:17:52,501 --> 01:17:55,302 Man, do they have celebration items on a breakfast menu? 1458 01:17:55,304 --> 01:17:59,573 What would that be, like an enormous pile of bacon? 1459 01:17:59,575 --> 01:18:01,575 We're goin' places, I'll tell you that. 1460 01:18:01,577 --> 01:18:04,045 Non-tropical places, I'm standing my ground on that issue, 1461 01:18:04,047 --> 01:18:05,980 but everything else is open, 1462 01:18:05,982 --> 01:18:07,782 'cause you gotta keep yourself open to new things. 1463 01:18:07,784 --> 01:18:11,452 Keep it fresh, otherwise, you get stuck. 1464 01:18:11,454 --> 01:18:13,554 I mean, you can't make a plan to know about something 1465 01:18:13,556 --> 01:18:16,590 that you don't already know about. 1466 01:18:16,592 --> 01:18:19,960 Hold up, that's fuckin' wisdom right there. 1467 01:18:19,962 --> 01:18:21,696 Yep, I just know it.