Senator! Now, if...
Life is a beating. All right?
And the sooner you understand that, the better.
Hit it.
- You're the dog Walker? - I'm really sorry.
She's a pomeranian, Paul,
a show dog.
That's $14,000 you let just walk off down the street
on Melrose.
Did you say Melrose?
Awesome. Thanks, Spencer. It was really nice.
- Great. - Sorry to keep you waiting.
No vvorries. Thanks, guys. Nice to meet you guys.
Oh, can we just get you to slate one more time?
Oh, sure.
- Uh, Spencer-- - camera.
Spencer kaminski.
And to the side.
- And should I say it again? - No.
Okay, back to camera.
And your name one more time.
Spencer kaminski.
Okay, thank you.
Great. Thanks, guys.
Okay, we have one more. Right?
Hey, Betsy, this is Spencer kaminski.
I'm just calling to see if you've heard anything yet.
Obviously I do know that it is 5:00 A.M. in L.A.
And I apologize.
I just-- yeah, i had to pop back to New York,
actually, for a quick second today,
but I will be back in L.A. tomorrow.
I'm taking the red eye flight back tonight.
Uh, just taking care of a few obligations today,
but I'm good to go for a callback
if I should get a callback.
I think the audition went well,
so we'll see.
Anyway, so, call me back, Betsy.
Oh, this is Spencer kaminski, by the way.
Oh, when the saints r
- yes, I want to be m - that number r -
- hey. - Hey, man.
Good to see you. Hi.
- Nice jacket. - Thanks.
Oh, that's the new steakhouse.
Did you hear about that? It's great.
Vvhen you go in, it's like you're in Paris or something.
Paris. Wow, that sounds-- that sounds great.
So my 4:15 got moved to 4:45,
so we're just gonna have to hustle after Dr. kaplan.
Four-- okay, 4:45.
4:45 p-P.M.?
Jay, did you--
did you take a look at the itinerary I sent you?
As in the email?
It was attached to the email, yeah.
Um, I did click on it, and I think I, like--
it got covered another window, and then I tried to find it,
and it got moved.
It's okay. It's fine. It's fine.
I printed you a copy.
- There you go. - Okay?
So for Dr. suzuki,
mapquest says it's faster if we cut through town
and then go up ravensdale. What do you think?
Uh, these are all doctor's appointments?
Jay, did you not read the email that I sent you?
No, i-l read it.
I just-- the attachment, it like, opened,
and then I couldn't find it.
Okay, I have five doctor's appointments today.
Can you take me to five doctor's appointments?
Yeah, sure.
Okay, great.
It's just, um, it is a school day.
Oh, shit, i forgot about that.
No, it's fine. I just have to gd back there at some point
because it's, like, my job. You know?
But... yeah, it's fine.
L-- I mean, I'm just happy to see you.
Thanks,brother.
Sorry.
Sorry about that.
So, Spencer, you don't have, like, different doctors in California?
What do you mean?
Like, vvhy couldn't you just go to the doctors they have out there?
These are my doctors.
I trust them. They trust me.
It's a whole thing. You don't mess with that.
- Spencer... - Hmm.
So, California.
Right? Do you go to the beach, like, every day?
No, not a lot of time for the beach.
The last six months has been a lot of, like,
figuring out how to roll out the next thing.
You know?
Have you not seen "the fucked up brother-in-law?"
It's a-- it's a video?
Yeah, it's a video. It went super-viral.
Everyone was sharing it. You didn't see it?
No, I had to get rid of my Internet stuff
'cause one of my students kept posting--
here, I can just pull it up for you.
Yeah, I mean, basically,
it's just me as this girl's brother-in-lavv, you knovv.
I shovv up at Thanksgiving. I'm doing all kinds cf crazy shit.
I don't know. It's funny. You gotta see it.
But it's initially what got me my agent, Betsy.
- Betsy? - Yeah, and she's been,
you know, sending me out on these auditions,
and I actually auditioned for a pilot.
Um... I'm waiting to hear about--
supposed to hear about it today.
Wow, congratulations"
yeah, it's this abc sitcom.
It's about dog walkers.
I'll be playing a-- playing a dog Walker.
It's a good role. It's a-- it's a great role
'cause he, like, you know, he loves the dogs,
but he's conflicted about it, and, you know...
Hey, speaking of dogs,
you wanna hear a funny story?
Sure.
I was walking on ravensdale the other day,
like where ravensdale hits the library,
and all of a sudden I realized
there was this little dog next to me.
No collar, no leash, nothing,
so I just looked at him, and I was, like,
"hello, Mr. dog.
How are you doing?"
As it's looking up at me.
I was, like, literally talking to a dog.
Mr. kaminski?
Here, man. Watch "the fucked up brother-in-law."
Get dovvn, motherfuckers. Vve're doing body shots.
- S-sorry. I just-- - get dovvn, motherfuckers.
- I don't knovv hovv to... - Fuck, fuck, fuck...
Anybody mind if I twerk in here?
Hello, Spencer.
Nice to see you again.
Your father's told us all about your big Hollywood career.
Seems we haven't seen you in a few years.
Yep.
Remind me to tell you
about this idea for a television show
my husband and I have.
I think it's a guaranteed hit.
So what brings you here?
Listen, Dr. suzuki,
I just feel-- I don't know,
I just feel crazy.
- I'm sorry, crazy? - Yeah, I feel crazy.
I don't feel like myself.
You know? I'm tired all the time.
I feel dizziness.
Like there's cloudiness in front of my eyes,
like I'm not all the way here.
My skin feels tight, too tight.
And at night my arms and my back
will burn like there's fire on my arms and back.
I have hot feelings in my face,
hot hands, the hottest hands,
and I have this rash on my back
that just keeps getting worse,
and, you know, it hurts when I blink sometimes.
I don't know.
I know this sounds a little extreme,
but I just feel like I'm... Dying.
You mentioned you had a rash?
Yeah, let's do the rash, then the hot hands.
Is this your dog?
No, it's just, like, a compilation
of different cute dogs
from all over the world.
- They're all so cute. - Yeah.
How'd it go?
Vvent fine, man. Just a routine checkup. You knovv.
Oh, okay, great.
Thank you for your service, sir.
- Is your neck okay? - Yeah, it's fine.
Oh.
Okay, I'm just gonna run in and just lock my classroom.
Oh, it's your cousins.
- Travis? - No, no, no. Shh, shh, shh.
Shh. Could you, just...
Okay, um, truth is, Jay,
lt's-- it's supposed to be a surprise,
me being back in town.
- A surprise? - Yeah.
You know, you are the only one who knows,
so I'm going to surprise my family later,
so I can't really be seen by anybody yet, you know?
Oh, okay.
That's fun.
That's gonna be really fun.
- Okay, cool. - That's great.
- Uh, Spencer? - Yeah.
Are you gonna-- are you gonna jump out?
- I'm not sure what you-- - are you gonna, like...
Surprise.
Maybe. It's a good idea.
- Yeah, I might do that. - Yeah?
Oh, man, that's gonna be so much fun.
O Kay.
L-ll, Mr. feldman.
...friday's baseball tournament winners--
this announcement coming from Mr. cliff--
defeated dobbs ferry in a close match.
This is a great example 0f figure painting
and how it changed during the renaissance.
These people aren't passive subjects.
There's emotion. There's intention in the eyes.
Jay. My mom.
Is your mom okay?
Yeah, she's fine.
It's just...
Yeah? What?
Can we-- can we go, please?
Yeah, sure. Just in one second.
What are we doing?
Come m.
Hi, Lisa.
Sorry, what?
Just-- just hi.
That's all i-- all it was.
Oh, hi.
Sorry, Jay, I was--
I was at this loud band thing last night,
um, and I don't think my hearing is quite back to normal.
This is great. It sounds great.
It sounds like a great lineup.
- Jay and I vvent to school here together. - Cqol.
Yeah, Spencer and I have knovvn each other for a really long time.
In seventh grade, we hung out, like,
every single day.
That's so sweet.
Um, can I actually ask you guys a question?
Yeah, what? Anything.
Does my hair look weird to you?
Just because last night, at the concert,
somebody snapped open a stupid glow stick right next to me,
and I think some of it got on my scalp.
And I was in the shower this morning,
and I like-- i pulled out a clump of hair.
So now I'm worried that I might be balding,
and I wondered if it looked like I was balding to you.
Uh... no.
Like, not really?
I mean, I don't think so.
It looks like maybe it's probably okay.
- You know? - That's anxiety.
- I'm sor-- what? - Yeah, that's no glow stick.
Vvhen people are anxious, they pull out their hair and they think they're balding.
It's like anxiety 101.
I don't-- i don't think I'm that anxious.
You vvant an ativan? I think I have one loose in my pocket somevvhere,
or maybe a Xanax. I can give you one of each.
I don't think-- i agree, though that--
I'm sure you're not balding.
I really hope not. That would be so terrible.
I'd have to-- I'd have to buy a toupee.
Yeah.
- Hello. - Hello.
I guess it sticks.
This is funny but we gotta go, really.
Okay, we have to go,
but I'm just gonna lock my class,
and if anyone needs anything, like, to borrovv a camera or something,
you can just let them in.
- O Kay. - Great.
All right, I'll be back at 2:00.
- O0. - Wait, what? What are you talking about?
I've a meeting-- didn't I tell you?
I have a meeting with a student at 2:00.
That's, like, my only thing.
- Like... -2:00, you said?
Yeah, I guess I just forgot.
Could you move it to 5:45?
Um, I really shouldn't
-'cause that's after school hours-- - you knovv vvhat? It's okay.
- But you're just gonna have to keep it kind of brief, okay? - Okay.
- Nice to meet you, Lisa. - Yeah, you too, you too.
See you later.
Hey, Jay.
I can't wait to see your stuff up on the walls.
Okay, can't wait to see you out in the halls.
- Oh. - What?
-'Kay, bye. - Bye.
Mr. feldman, i have a question about nails.
Yeah-- no, don't--
- I'm gonna be in the car. - Okay, yeah.
What are you nailing, Phil? Don't nail.
No, I said you're gonna use-- you see hovv these are all pushpins?
You just gotta use-- put this back, please.
Uh, Mr. sulanaro.
Spencer kaminski. Do you remember me?
Holy shit. Spencer. Of course, buddy.
Good to see you, man.
- How's everything going? - It's good, man.
Not much has changed. Still fighting the good fight.
Administration's always trying to stifle
my right to teach as I see fit.
You know, I say, "polson, this isn't social studies.
I can't teach a fucking rubric. This is art."
Yeah, yeah. Well, you know,
I still think about your class all the time.
That's good to hear, man.
So you're out on the left coast, yeah?
Yeah, yeah, lt's-- you know, it's going well.
-- Well, listen. I got a meeting.
But you should totally pop by my class later.
I'll introduce you. You can--
you can say a few things, you know--
sounds good. I'd be honored. Yeah.
Hey, keep 'em honest out there.
I don't get how this relates to teeth.
I think it's just supposed to be soothing,
like to make your relax, but--
Spencer?
Spencer kaminski?
Oh, my goodness!
Ycur mother and I, we vvere just talking abqut you yesterday.
She didn't mention you were coming home.
How are you?
It's so good to see you.
Yeah, I'm-- you know,
I'm doing okay.
How are you doing, Laurie?
I'm pretty well. Did you hear?
Loretta's son Tyler-- he got hammertoe surgery.
Wow.
Yeah, he had a serious case of hammertoe.
Dr. Perry said
it was the worst case of hammertoe
in Hastings history, Tyler had.
Spencer, Dr. goldsmith is ready for you.
So... how long are you in town for, Spencer?
Yeah, um...
...Laurie, my mom doesn't know I'm in town yet.
It's a surprise. I'm going to surprise her later,
so if you could refrain from telling her that you saw me,
that would be great.
I'm gonna... jump out.
Sure, Spencer.
I... won't mention it to her.
Okay, great.
Is that Spencer?
Look at you, man.
Hey, how long has it been?
It's your first time in the new office. Huh?
What do you think?
- Lots of colors. - Yep.
You know, I was just talking with your uncle about this.
I remember a little boy
who could not wait to get his teeth cleaned.
Your sister would come in here
and just cry and cry,
but you always loved it.
You were always so giggly.
What were you so giggly about?
Honestly, man, I'm pretty worried about my mouth.
O Kay.
Uh, have you been flossing?
Okay, so...
So I've been reading,
you know, a lot about mouth cancer,
about oral cancer,
and apparently if you have lumps
or sores in your mouth,
that's a pretty telltale sign,
and I'm pretty sure that I have those.
- Uh-huh. - So and also
I think there's a deep, hard edged crack
in the tissue of my mouth.
A deep, hard-edged crack.
- Mm. - Is this stuff you're reading about--
about on the Internet?
Well, it's all new.
Well, this is, uh--
it's hardly new.
New to someone who's not a dentist maybe.
The good news is, that hard-edged crack
is absolutely nothing to worry about.
Phew, right?
Now, the bad news is
you have three little, ltty-bitty cavities
that we're gonna need to fill--
one here, one here, and one...
Way over here. Huh? Molar 17.
-- Vvell, dad, if you'd just call the steakhouse
and you could just--
well, don't-- I've had issues with attachments,
so just... No, don't...
I-- nobody-- i don't have a faxing ability.
I don't at the--
okay, yeah.
You know, when our friend Spencer here was a little boy,
he used to do these little comedy magic sketches
with his sister Jo at the pta every year.
They had marionettes. They did voices.
One year they sawed the superintendent in half.
Oh, wonderfully elaborate stuff.
Always done with safety. Right, Spencer?
All right, open wide now.
Open, Spencer.
That's my boy.
Okay, Karen, bring it in.
Uh, yes, okay, that works.
Thank you for understanding. I'll see you then. Bye.
Dr. kaplan's gonna fit me in at 3:00.
It's fine. Novv vve've got time to eat, so that's great.
Thank you.
- Thanks. - Enjoy, guys.
So how's your sister doing?
She seems to be doing really great.
I've seen her around a lot.
She seems like, really, like happy and healthy.
Yeah, yeah, she's doing good. It's a process.
She was telling me about that treatment place,
and it just sounds, like, really great fit--
I gotta-- i gotta write more standup.
That's my problem. These viral guys--
they have the opportunity to open for big acts,
but they go up there and they bomb
'cause they've got no material, like they're out of ideas.
I've got plenty of ideas, but, you know, I gotta--
I gotta write more standup. I gotta focus.
What's funny in here? Waitresses, their outfits,
soda...
French fries?
Soup. Soup is funny.
Cream of broccoli soup.
Why do we still call it cream of broccoli?
Isn't that kind of disgusting?
Doesn't that conjure up an image
of a piece of broccoli
ejaculating?
Isn't it about time
that we had a diner summit meeting
and officially changed that name?
You think that's funny?
I feel like that could be funny, right?
Seem funny to you?
Yeah. Yeah, it's really funny.
How do you spell broccoli?
I remember you in high school,
in that Roman musical.
You remember that? That was really funny.
That was your song. Remember?
Please stop singing.
You remember this?
I remember-- I do remember this song, but shh, shh.
You should do musicals.
You ever talk to Betsy about, like...
You can't just do musicals.
It's a whole other industry.
You remember like this?
You always did that, with the wink and the salute
in all the photos. Why did you do that?
It was my thing.
So funny, those pictures.
Oh, god.
S-Spencer kaminski, is that you?
Davis, what's going on, man?
It's been a while, huh?
Yeah.
So nice to see you.
- How you doing, Jay? - Good. How you doing?
Pretty good. Just getting over some indigestion.
- Oh, yeah? - Than ks, Diane.
What are you up to nowadays, Davis?
Davis works at antoinette's.
It's been really good for me.
I had a hard time finding a job
after the whole muscle relaxers' incident.
Mo you hear about that?
Muscle relaxers?
I had no idea how much I would learn
from getting arrested for illegal muscle relaxers,
but I'm doing better now,
and things are good.
Last summer I was ordained as a minister,
kind of like a goof for John's wedding,
but I've really grown into the role,
and I baptized a baby a few weeks ago.
It was amazing.
Wow.
And I just like working at antoinette's.
I get all the free food i want,
free paninis,
and it's a safe space for me.
I don't think I'm going to slide back
into the whole muscle relaxer thing.
Enough about me. How about you?
What have you been up to?
I'm good. I'm doing good.
I, uh, living out in L.A.
L.A.
I'll tell you, it's crazy to be back in this diner.
Uh, I was actually looking at the menu,
and I noticed that they still call it cream...
Of broccoli soup.
Sounds a little disgusting, isn't it?
Can we officially have a diner summit meeting
where we-- where we just change that up?
Right?
W-what's a diner summit meeting?
Yeah, it's like a theoretical meeting of the diners.
Oh.
It's not real.
Yeah, it's like a joke that Spencer's working on.
It's very funny.
Uh-oh, shit.
Oh, it's your cousins.
Where is he going?
He's gonna surprise everybody later,
so he's just, like-- he's just hiding
he's gonna...
Oh, okay, like a joke.
Yeah, he was gonna jump out.
That's very funny.
Yeah.
- Gonna be fun. - Yeah.
Yeah, my patient file should--
my patient file should be there.
Yeah, because I've been coming to your office since I was nine,
so I don't...
Well...
Well, look under spencie maybe.
Spencie. Yeah.
Wha-- my middle name?
My middle name is David,
but no one's...
Okay, well, it's David. Yeah.
D-a-v-i-d, but literally
no one calls me that.
I barely do that.
Uh, Spencer David kaminski, yes.
That's great. I'll see you in 46 minutes.
Bye.
Got it.
I'm just trying to change the background on my computer.
One of my students keeps changing it.
Wow, man, look at you. You were so young and full of...
I don't know, no beard.
I just-- it was rocks before,
it was like a picture of rocks,
and I liked it there that way. I liked looking at the...
The rocks.
O Kay.
It's a really nice setup you got here, man.
You make this thing?
Uh, s-Spencer,
- can you actually-- - what's it do?
Please, just-g can you just put lt--
put it down?
Jay?
It's for chili.
Jay, are you having feelings about this pot?
Okay, do you promise you're not gonna tell anybody
so we-- uh, Lisa and i--
I don't remember who started it.
Maybe it was her. Maybe it was me.
But we were like, "let's get dinner sometime."
And so then we did, I don't knovv if it vvas, like, a date thing,
or, like, a friend thing, or what.
But we had this really nice dinner.
We vvent to that steakhouse that i vvas telling you about, that nevv one.
Right, enough about the steakhouse.
It's in the story.
- Still. - Okay.
So we're at dinner, having a really nice time.
We were, like, talking and laughing,
and, like, talking about inside jokes,
like teacher inside jokes, like you wouldn't get
but, like, stuff from teaching here and stuff.
And it's just real easy to talk to her.
That's good. That's a good thing.
And then I went back to her place.
She lives, like, in town,
like above the bookstore.
And so then we had-- she had, like, wine,
like it was really red.
And we were sitting on the couch,
and I leaned over,
and I kissed her.
And then, uh, we, uh...
Had... sex.
Fucking great.
Was it your first time?
- Come on, no. - I'm sorry.
No, it's like-- I'm, like, in my late 20s.
I know. You are and I'm sorry.
- It's okay. - But it was special, right?
Yes.
Definitely really special.
And then afterward we just started talking,
like really talking,
like I told her all this stuff,
like about my dad and about my life,
like sometimes I didn't even knovv vvhat vvas coming out of my mquth,
like it was just straight from my heart to my mouth,
like my heart was talking,
not my mouth.
And she told me all this stuff,
like about her parents and about her brother
and, like, we want a lot of the same things,
like I think we think a lot of the same things.
This is the most amazing thing ever, man.
But then afterwards she got really quiet...
And, w-w-we agreed
that it would be best
if I actually didn't sleep over,
which I'm still kind of confused about
because it was like I was already lying down,
and I was tired.
We were both tired.
And the next day at school
she, like, pulled me aside. It was during an assembly,
so the hallways were pretty much empty,
and she was just like...
"I feel like this was a mistake.
I think we should just be friends."
Mm-hmm.
And what did you say?
Um, I think I nodded a few times.
I don't know. I didn't want to be loud
because of the assembly.
Listen, Jay.
You gotta talk to her about this.
You gotta, you knovv, tell her this vvas a big deal to you, man.
Sometimes you gotta be loud, Jay,
like loud emotionally,
even if during an assembly.
I just-.
I feel like she thinks--
who care what she thinks, man?
This shit isn't about her.
This was your first time, Jay.
- Spencer“ - I'm so sorry.
Why don't-- i told you that it's not.
I don't know why I said it again.
- It's okay. - I'm really so sorry.
It's okay.
One minute.
- Just be normal. - Yeah.
What's up, Jay?
Mr. feldman, please, Amber.
Could you actually just--
Amber, um...
Okay, I'm gonna go, man.
O Kay.
Put that pot down. It's for chili.
Okay, bro.
You don't understand, Mr. feldman.
This is bigger than you.
If I fail this class,
it's going to stay with me for the rest of my life.
Not you. Me.
Okay, Amber, vvell, you haven't done any of the assignments.
It's easy, Mr. feldman. Just don't fail me.
What a simple idea.
Instead of failing me, just don't.
Well-- okay, well, how about this?
Vvhat lf-- vvhat if we did, like, a fun extra-credit assignment--
just don't fail me. Okay?
I'm way to busy to start doing work for this class.
I have field hockey practice literally every day
so when you go to give me a grade
vvith your little pen, just vvrite any grade other than an f.
B-? Fine.
I mean, I guess--
I gotta go to practice.
Listen, Mr. feldman.
I'd really appreciate this.
You're a great photography teacher.
You've taught me so much about photos and photo paper and stuff.
I feel like we really get each other. You know?
So just please
don't fail me.
Okay, Amber, I'll see what I can do.
Word.
"Lord, how angry I am.
Angry enough to throw mud at the whole world.
I even felt ill. Servant!"
"Sir, in my solitude I have become unaccustomed to the human vcice,
and I cannot stand the sound of loud talking.
I beg you, please, to cease"--
mark, Gary, pause for a second.
Look at me. Tell me the truth.
Did you guys prepare that scene at all prior to this class?
'Cause I have a hunch
that we just watched you read it for the first time.
All right.
Well, you guys just wasted our time.
Sit down.
Okay, acting's not reading.
Okay?
Acting is not recreating something ycu savv on TV cne time.
Acting is embodying a character.
It's living in that character's skin
and bones, flesh and guts.
What you two just did, if I may say, was bullshit.
Who wants to go next?
Hey, everyone, this is Spencer,
one of the best students i ever had.
He's an example of someone who understands the raw power of a true performance.
- You vvanna come up here and say something, Spence? - Sure, okay, ned, thanks.
- Come on up. - Sure, thank you. Really quick.
- Spencer. - Good to see you.
Thank you, everybody.
Uh, I am Spencer kaminski.
I'm an actor/comedian
with an emphasis on standup and web sketch work at the moment.
And last Thanksgiving i made a thing called
"the fucked up brother-in-law."
Oh, thank you very much.
That's great.
Well, yeah, it got a lot of likes and subscribers,
which is fantastic.
And it actually got me my agent Betsy,
and agents are very important
if you vvanna get seen during pilot season or get commercial vvork,
but you have to remember that agents can't create heat
where there isn't already some kind of spark.
What grade is this, tenth grade?
Ninth grade? Tenth grade?
So that's, like, secret crying in gym class
some casual racism, that kind of thing?
Yeah.
I remember that time really well, actually.
I was a raw nerve.
I felt, like, really uncomfortable in my body.
I remember one day i went to school,
and I wore two t-shirts
'cause I thought it might hide my belly
a little better.
Um, and I was feeling good about it
until this kid named myron uleski
came up to me in the cafeteria, and he vvas, like,
"hey, man, are you wearing two t-shirts?
'Cause it makes you look really fat."
And I was like,
I just tried to laugh it off,
but... my hands were hot and the room was spinning.
It was awful.
Um...
And at the time, my sister--
I have a younger sister--
she was going through a lot of stuff.
Um, she was drinking a lot
and just kind of out of control.
She's doing better now, though, I hear.
And my parents got divorced.
It was tough.
I was raised by my mom.
She's actually president of the school board.
She's the reascn you can't chevv gum in gym class anymore.
So I'm sorry for that.
I know it's fun to chew gum in gym.
She's running for mayor now, actually,
so pretty soon no gum chevving anyvvhere, at all.
I love her,
but she can be a little overbearing, you knovv,
and she put a lot of pressure on my sister and me.
But in tenth grade,
I did discover ned's class.
And that was the first time I'd ever been on stage,
and I felt like i could be funny
and way less self-conscious and aggressive and--
you know, i started doing the plays,
and people recognized me from the plays
'cause I did this vvink and salute thing, like that. I did it in every play.
Even if it vvas, like, a sad dramatic play, I'd do it and people laughed
and they vvould come up to me in the hallvvays and do it back to me.
And I even asked a girl out that year.
Uh, she said no, but it vvas-- it vvas totally vvorth it.
Okay, let's try something. You wanna try something?
Can we get two volunteers?
Okay, guys, here's what I want you to do.
Just be completely honest with each other.
Just go back and forth
and tell each other exactly how you feel.
Okay?
Come on, guys. You can do it.
Um, you are Dana?
You are Melissa.
We are... in chairs.
This is a room.
It's beige... beige-ish.
Well, I mean, actually those panels are more like an off--
but if you look on that side--
okay, focus on each other, girls.
Um, Melissa, you're my friend.
You're my friend, too, Dana.
You're one of my best friends.
Really? I didn't think I was one of your best friends.
- I mean, yeah, you kind of-- - you never text me.
You literally never text me.
Well, that's because you're mean to me a lot.
No, I'm not. Like what?
Like you literally once told me
that my hair looked like shit
on my birthday.
Okay, I'm sorry. I was drunk.
I'd just broken up with Patrick,
and I literally drank, like, a half a bottle of patron.
That's not an excuse.
It was really mean,
and I wanna hang out with you,
but then I end up feeling like--
I don't know-- like shit.
Well...
I guess I'm jealous of you.
Jealous of me?
Why?
I don't know. Everyone's nice to you.
You're nice to everyone.
Everyone loves you. You're really pretty.
Well, i-l guess I'm jealous of you, too.
You're, like, my hero.
Wait, you broke up with Patrick?
He's telling everyone he broke up with you.
Are you kidding me?
That piece of shit. I'm gonna key his fucking car.
I'm sorry. Katy told me...
Okay! Great, and scene. Good job, guys.
Thanks. Right, everybody?
Yes, and go back to your chairs. Good job.
Hey, Jay.
Hi.
Your bagel looks a little burnt.
Yeah, lt's-- it's okay.
I mean, yeah, the outside, uh, is burnt,
but inside it's-- its bagel soul is, uh, it's okay.
Lt's-- lt's-- it's okay.
You could just...
Take another bagel.
I like this bagel.
This is my bagel.
It's a proud bagel.
Okay, bye, Jay.
Remember your monologues for Monday, everyone.
And no fucking around.
Man, killed it.
Trading truths. I love it.
Kind of a Chicago style improv thing, right?
Hey, ned, can I talk to you for a minute?
Sure, man. What's up?
Um, yqu knovv, I'm kind of having, like, a hard time out there in L.A.
- Oh - yeah.
I mean, I'm doing things all the time,
but it's just-- it can feel like it's not building tc) Anything,
like kind of random.
And sometimes sort of, like, hopeless.
I don't know.
I was just thinking maybe i could use some--
some of that sulanaro wisdom.
Yeah,man. Well, that sulanaro wnsoom
can get you into trouble sometimes.
All right, listen.
You're having a hard time. Yes?
Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be fucking hard. Right?
You signed up for this
'cause, unlike most fucking people,
you had the balls to move out there and lay it on the line.
You got something to say.
You got a voice.
Respect it. Keep it clear.
'Cause it's the only voice that matters.
Not mine. Not your roommate's.
Not some bullshit agent at William Morris.
Don't even-- don't even listen to that judgmental bullshit.
Just shut it all out. Don't negotiate with it.
Shut it all out and listen to you.
- Know what I'm saying? - Yeah. Yeah.
I gotta run. I got a-- I got a meeting,
but if you vvanna grab a cup of coffee or something later--
yeah, definitely. How's...
5:20 at the diner?
Sure, man. Sounds good. I'll see you then.
Yeah. I'll see you then.
Keep 'em honest out there.
You should've been there, man. I was in my element.
I ran this whole exercise,
and ned-- ned's really lived a life, man.
I just need to stop at my house.
My dad needs help with something.
I don't know if you've seen his three-episode thing
on "dynasty," but he's phenomenal.
You can see the whole thing at the Paley center.
I mean, he's got this totally original voice.
He doesn't take shit from anybody.
That was our turn, man.
Mapquest says make a left.
We're stopping at my house.
What? Okay, first of all, that street is a huge risk.
And second of all, we only have 19--
we just have to... stop.
Okay, it just--
just needs to happen.
Sorry. Ten minutes.
All right. Fine.
Jesus.
Oh, look, channel nine's Jesse Mitchell's reporting live
from your front lawn.
O Kay.
Cover me.
Jay, is that you? Is it a burglar or is it you?
There's my son.
It still smells a little bit in here.
Like what? What are we smelling?
| don't know.
It's like maybe something's rotting
in the kitchen or something.
That could be. That might be true.
Let me show you two guys the situation. Okay?
You remember Spencer, dad.
Spencer. You used to come over every day.
- Yep. - Hey.
He's visiting from California.
California? Wow. Sunny.
Far away and sunny.
How are you doing?
Ah, terrible. My back feels like it vvas shot vvith an uzi.
- Wow. I'm sorry to hear that. - Sciatica.
I have a fevv ailments of my ovvn, so I can relate.
Uh, this is it. This is what i--
yeah, just-- just leave it on the counter.
Okay, let me show you down here
what we've got.
All right, watch your head.
Watch your head.
All right.
Jesus, i remember this room.
Yeah.
Well, gentlemen,
I'm going to be dipping my toes
in the waters of the dating scene,
and soon enough,
I'm going to be hosting a young lady
in this furnished basement.
Well, I don't know if we're going to get you
all the way there today, dad.
- We only have, like... - Nine minutes.
Nine minutes.
Well, move the heavy stuff,
and get Mr. Spencer to help you out, okay?
- Okay. - All right, good luck, boys.
I gotta run.
Whoa, heave ho, don't give up.
Does your dad really think he's gonna get laid down here?
I mean, in his heart, yeah.
I think he's just obsessed with this idea right now.
Like last month it was old books about trains,
and now it's dating.
Shit, I remember this.
- Huh. - Does it still work?
Let's see.
Try the--
let's see.
Oh, um...
Let me see.
- Do you remember it? - I think so.
- You wanna try? - Yeah.
Okay, let's do it. One, two, ready, go.
Did we get a good grade on that?
No, no, he asked for a paper.
Oh, yeah.
He was mad. I remember that.
He was furious, yeah.
- Yeah, he was so mad at us. - Yeah.
He was mainly mad at you 'cause I think i--
- didn't I also write a-- - you also wrote a paper.
Yeah, I just-- i just harmonized on that song.
Yeah.
Hey, dad, we're gonna take off.
Wait a minute, take a look at these girls.
Lock at this. Each one is fatter than the next.
I'm sure one of them is nice, dad.
Nice? Nice won't get you...
I'm here at Ellen kaminski's headquarters
where the mood is...
That cannot be her real nose.
She did something on the computer.
We're gonna get some.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Uh, you guys, uh-- do you want some food?
I g-- I got eight boxes of mallomars.
You like cookies?
- Think we're okay. - I'll take a cookie.
Okay, I love you both.
Come home early. You're gonna cook.
- Okay. - Hovv many cookies you vvant, Spencer?
Uh, just one.
Thanks for letting me stop, Spencer.
It's just, you know, it's my dad.
He just needs help sometimes.
Yeah, man. Well, it seems like he's doing good.
He's definitely gonna make some lady very happy.
That basement is very romantic.
Yeah.
It's actually-- that's a real thing,
vvhat he vvas saying about shorting your nose on the computer,
because this one woman came over there
a couple weeks ago,
and her eyes were, like, really far apart.
And what had turned out was that she had actually pushed
the eyes closer together--
- oh, no. - What?
My mom's calling me, man. She must've seen me on TV.
Gcd damn it, Jay, I told you we should stay off that street.
I'm sorry, you were on TV?
You what-- when?
I'm such a fucking asshole.
You're not doing anything wrong, Spencer.
I mean, you're going to surprise her later, right?
Like... jump out.
Look out, man.
You okay?
Thank you very much.
Whoo, all right.
I'm gonna move this train along.
Great. Oh, one quick announcement.
Lou morabito is on l-lls way
to fix the paninl press. Okay?
- So I'm gonna need everyone... - Hey, Davis.
How do I sign up for this thing?
Oh, you just put your name on the list.
Yeah, hi, I'm gonna be about 16 minutes late to my appointment.
Kaminski.
Sorry again, dude.
Hangovers are the worst, man.
I never get used to them.
I mean, I was so hung over the other day
even my dog was looking at me like,
"you're fucked up, man. I'm gonna go walk myself."
Oh.
I, uh-- I went to the diner-- diner today, man.
Who here likes the diner? Give it up for the diner.
I was looking at the menu.
Uh, yeah, the soups, man.
Cream of broccoli soup. Wait. What?
Does anyone find that appetizing?
Why-- why are we still calling it that fucking name?
Uh...
Hey, Jay, whatta you say?
We got Toby's speaker system for another hour.
You wanna do something?
Doesn't that conjure up animage
of a piece of broccoli ejaculating?
- Vvhat vvould I do, teach photography? {Spencer continuing]
Sure, if you want.
I mean, it's a safe space.
Ul-|, dating is crazy, right? Dating.
I'm dating this chick right now.
- She's into some wild shit-- - okay, Kevin.
- Thanks for sharing, buddy. - Vvhat's up? Did I get the light?
Uh-huh.
All right, gang, we are moving it along.
Funny stuff, Spencer.
Okay, up next we have Jay, everybody!
Where's Jay?
Uh, hi.
Um, uh... I'm Jay.
I think-- i know almost everyone here.
Um, hmm.
What should I d--
okay, um...
Here's a story.
Uh, so the other day,
I was walking on ravensdale, like, near the library,
like where ravensdale hits the library,
and all of a sudden I feel like someone's vvalking next to me.
And I look down,
and it's this dog.
It's like this scrappy little dog,
no collar, no owner, nothing,
just lockstep with me.
And i-- I was like,
okay, we're already walking like two friends.
"How you doing, Mr. dog?"
And-- and he's looking at me like,
"this is pretty"-- you knovv, he didn't say anything,
but, you know, he's like...
Um, we're talking like that back and forth
for like, I don't know,
it felt like-- it probably was only, like, five minutes,
but it felt like a really long time, and i--
I feel like--
for a second there,
it's like this is the best friend I ever had.
You know, whatever problems,
whatever heartache,
whatever I wanted to say,
and I felt like I couldn't to somebody else,
I could say to this dog 'cause he was my friend,
and he was there to listen to me.
Okay, that's my story. Thanks, guys.
Anita's set's getting more tight.
Yeah, she's good.
She's-- she's good. She's definitely good.
Why'd you cut me off? I had another two minutes.
Okay, let's start by dialing back the attitude.
You knovv vvhat? You let some guitar kid run over,
and then you cut me off at three?
If I had known how bush-league this thing was,
I would not have come to the mic.
All right, listen, buddy. Do not cross me right now.
I vvas right in the middle of my set. I vvas just vvarming up.
Nobody in my cafe vvants to have hacky dating bits for ten solid minutes.
- Oh, really? Nobody vvants to see me? - Nobody!
I've got 23,000 subscribers who want to see me,
just waiting for that next video.
- You are svveaty, you are desperate... - Svveaty, huh?
And I'm exhausted. You need to go home.
I'm not going anywhere.
How many subscribers does your shitty cafe have, huh?
I have gone viral. What have you ever gone?
Davis, can you check on that panini press for me?
Is it a wiring thing? Or is it a--
you're banned!
Me, too?
No, you had a good set. You can come back.
Get off.
- Is your eye okay? - I'm gonna be late.
Let's not talk. I don't need to talk right now.
I just need my doctors.
Just having-- I'm having heart palpitations,
and my hands are on fire,
and l-l-l just know that it's cancer
or it's a tumor.
Jesus Christ, Jay, are you trying to kill me, too?
You have cancer, Spencer?
Is that what you're--
that's vvhy ycu got all these doctors. Oh, my gcd.
Jay, I don't know yet. That-- that's the point.
But do you? Like, what are your--
what are your symptoms? Like, are you--
are you going to be okay? Or...
You know, I have...
Cloudiness.
I feel off.
I feel, like, not myself.
I have a rash.
You know? I'm not in control.
It's a whole constellation of things, Jay.
It's very clinical.
So you don't have cancer.
It doesn't sound like you have cancer, Spencer.
I mean, I don't know yet, technically.
My labs are still out.
Why would you say that then?
It's not a-- lt's not a joke.
It's not a joke.
I'm sorry.
Don't lie to me, Spencer.
I'm flying back tonight.
L-I'm just here to see my doctors.
I'm not seeing anybody.
I'm not surprising anybody.
I'm not going to a steakhouse.
Not going to an art show.
I just, you know, i--
I had to do this 'cause l-l've been--
I've been really scared. I have this rash.
I've had it for three months, and, you know--
um, actually i--
I just remembered I need to go back to my classroom,
and so I can't, um, drive you anymore
seriously?
I've got three more doctors. Can we talk about this?
Look at me, man. Can you look at me?
Jesus, how do you function like this?
Jay, if you've got something to say to me, just say it.
You vvanna call me an asshole, call me an asshole. Just say it.
No. No, 'cause you never say anything.
This is a choice, man.
You take beautiful fucking pictures,
and everybody loves you,
so you could be a full person
with reactions and feelings,
but instead you're just a doormat.
You're a walking, talking, driving doormat.
You can't even drive.
I just...
I have to go back to my job,
where I have a lot of responsibility, so...
Y-you have to go. I'm sorry.
You know what? I don't need you, man.
I don't need you.
'Cause I have mapquest.
Mapquest, motherfucker.
I'm Spencer kaminski.
I have an appointment. I'm sorry I'm late.
Uh, please take a seat.
Mr. kaminski?
Is your eye okay?
Yeah, yeah, it's nothing. I'm a-- a goalie.
What seems to be the problem today?
You know, that's kind of p-personal.
Uh, a bump. I have a bump...
On my anus-- near my anus--
right under my anus.
Okay, well, Dr. Fisher will be right with you.
No, no, Dr. Fisher?
No, I'm here to see Dr. kaplan.
Dr. kaplan's my doctor.
Oh, you didn't hear?
- Hear what? - I'm sorry to say
that Dr. kaplan passed away last year.
Dr. kaplan died?
But...
His name is still on the door.
Don't vvorry. Dr. Fisher is your nevv proctologist,
and he's great.
And he'll be with you in a minute.
Dead.
Mr. kaminski, nice to meet you.
So hear we got a little bump on the anus.
You're Jasper Fisher's older brother.
I am. Yeah.
I'm sorry. I don't remember you.
Is your eye okay?
Jasper and i were the same year.
Oh, okay.
Great
so you're an ass doctor now?
I am.
I'm an ass doctor.
So what happened to Dr. kaplan?
It was a heart attack.
It's a shame, you know?
He was the best.
Yeah.
He was amazing.
Yep.
All right, so should we take a look?
How old are you, man?
You can't possibly be more than 30.
No, I'm-- I'm 33.
Mm-hm. And you're a real doctor.
You're not, like, a doctor in training?
- No, I'm a real doctor. - Hmm.
I remember you used to smoke a lot of weed.
Didn't you deal weed?
Hey, Spencer, vvhy don't you take off those pants,
take a look at the bump on your anus.
I don't think so. I'm gonna pass.
'Cause I'm here to see Dr. kaplan.
I flew across the country to see my doctor, Dr. kaplan.
He brought honor to this profession,
this was his temple,
and you're just some punk pothead kid
that I don't know, and you wanna see my anus.
Okay, well, Dr. kaplan is dead.
No, I refuse to accept that.
I'm not ready to take in that information.
Okay, you're starting to make me mad,
starting to piss me off.
How are you a doctor, man?
Did you cram it all into two years?
Did you take a night class?
Why don't you just take the pants off
and show me the bump on your anus right now.
You don't deserve to see my anus.
- You haven't earned that. - Excuse me?
Fuck this. I'm going to a real doctor.
All right, just sit down.
- Look. Sit down. - Are you a fake doctor?
Don't you push me! Don't--
Dr. kaplan forever!
- Spencer? - Can't talk. Gotta go, uncle Dave.
Hello.
Betsy, lt's-- it's Spencer kaminski. Hovv are you doing?
Hey, Spencer. Sorry to keep you waiting.
You were up early this morning.
Yep, just, uh, living life to the fullest.
Hey, any news on anything?
Honestly, Spencer, it's looking like it's not gonna happen.
Seriously?
Are you sure?
Patrick at abc texted me
that they're looking for someone a little burlier.
Burlier?
Yeah, burlier.
You ever wanna die, Betsy?
What?
All right. Okay.
Thanks, Betsy.
What happened?
I got punched twice.
Good lord.
You must've really had it coming.
Well, it's good to see you, Spencer.
Yeah, it's good to see you, too, Dr. lipman.
Why don't I get some...
How's everything? How are your parents?
Your uncle came over last weekend.
Helped me put up my computer.
It's a beautiful computer.
It has the Internet and everything.
I'm thrilled with it.
They must be happy to see you.
Honestly, lipman, they don't even know I'm here.
What? Spencer...
I'm just here to see my doctors
and then I'm going back to L.A.,
flying back tonight.
You are aware that they have doctors in California, right?
We didn't invent them here.
Yeah, I just, uh...
I feel sick.
You know, i feel not myself.
I feel like I'm dying.
Inn:
Maybe that's stupid,
but I've just been really-- really worried.
And...
I-i was thinking it could be Lou gehrig's disease,
so I brought some stuff.
I don't knovv if you vvanna take a look. It's all nevv stuff.
It's new stuff and it's very--
Spencer, I've known you for your whole life. Yeah?
I remember when you were a cranky little baby.
I remember when you were 11 years old.
You sat right there. You told me you had a girlfriend.
Lindsay. She dumped me. Yeah.
I remember when you broke your leg skiing.
I remember vvhen we figured out you vvere allergic to raspberries,
and that's why you were having such a bad time at camp.
I think I've known you long enough
that you can cut the bullshit a little bit.
Yeah.
It's just, uh...
I have weird marks on my back.
And I've got hard-edged cracks in my mouth.
I've got a bump under my anus.
I have a rash that won't go away.
I've got hot feelings on my face.
And i-- I just-- you know,
I don't know.
You know, i saw your sister last week.
She's doing good.
It's not easy, but she's doing it.
Her counselor's one of the guys on my softball team. He's a great guy.
Amazing shortstop.
Yeah? That's good.
Yeah, you should go see her.
She's living at home.
Five minutes from here.
I should go see her. I get it.
I should.
I never call her. She probably hates me.
I just-.
I can't be home right now.
Well, you are home, right?
You know what I mean.
I can't wake up in that bed
and eat breakfast at that table.
You know? I just--
I don't want them to see me like this.
I wanna be here, lipman. I do, but I just--
I can't.
All right, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
- Can you breathe? - No.
Can you take a long one right down to the diaphragm?
Yes, that's good.
Longer. Can you go farther down?
There you go.
Another one.
That's good.
Spencer...
Now, after medical school, i did my residency at ucla.
I remember going out there.
Sunny California.
I felt like my life was taking off on a rocket,
like I could do anything.
I was surrounded by brilliant, ambitious people.
All of them I respected.
And they all respected me.
I worked and I fell in love,
and for the first time,
really felt like a man.
But I'll never forget.
One day--
I think it was a Sunday--
I started to feel a numbness in my fingers.
I was feeling fatigued.
I was getting these headaches.
And I realized
it was symptomatic of kohler's disease.
Kohler's disease?
It's multiple myeloma,
cancer of the plasma cells.
And all I could think about for weeks was,
do I have the symptoms?
I think my bones hurt.
I think my spine and ribs hurt.
Maybe I'm anemic.
I feel faint.
It went on and on and on...
- Do you think that I have-- - no.
No. Just listen to me for a second.
So eventually,
I was so worked up
that I made another resident test me.
I had blood tests,
my skull, my skeleton,
my long bones, all x-rayed.
I was literally shaking as I waited for the results.
I actually thought to myself,
okay, this is it.
I know I have this disease,
and this is going to be
what the rest of my life is going to look like.
No family.
No job.
Nothing at all
but me and this disease.
And for a second there,
I wanted that.
L-- I welcomed the...
Simplicity of that, I guess.
But then I look over at my then girlfriend,
soon to be wife,
waiting next to me, holding my hand,
worrying about me,
hoping that I'm okay.
And the moment passed.
And if the niners had covered the spread that year,
we'd still be married.
Lost pretty much everything.
Never buy a boat, Spencer.
The insurance alone is gonna kill you.
So you didn't have kohler's disease?
Maybe you just need a good night's sleep.
Did you ever think of that? Drink a glass of water maybe.
Yeah.
- Yeah. - Okay, let's start vvith the rash.
Uh, so what's going on with you and ned?
Is it serious or, um...
Um...
Is this a goodtime?
Jay, what are you talking about?
It's just I know that you guys are a thing now,
and so I was just--
I was just curious if, like--
if you loved him or...
Um, I don't-- I don't--
look, Jay, I don't really know how to answer that.
Sure. It's a tough question.
I get that.
- Sorry. - Jay, this really--
- this isn't, like, a good time. - Look, Lisa, I just--
I know that I'm not, um,
attractive enough for you,
and I know that I'm sort of fattish
and weird looking,
and I know that i did that thing
with your ear
when we were above the bookstore,
and I apologize for that.
I apologize again.
- Jay, Jay-- - I know that I don't
always pick up on social cues.
I know that I have problems.
I have a whole bathtub full of problems.
But, I mean...
You're not perfect either.
You know?
And that was what was so amazing
about the, um--
the, uh-- above the bookstore time.
About being with you.
I mean, that we weren't perfect.
It made me feel a lot better
about not being perfect.
And even if your hair all fell out
and you were completely bald,
I wouldn't even care.
I, um...
I don't know, Jay. Lt's--
I don't think we--
I don't think we feel the same way about...
It's just no.
Lt-- the answer's no.
It's not-- it's not going to work out.
I just wanna, um, chime in here
and say I've never felt more awkward in my entire life.
Right, sure, uh-- and that's-- that's okay.
I expected this. Honestly.
I just wanted you to know
that these are the feelings that I'm feeling.
Whatever you're feeling is fine...
But this is how I'm feeling.
Now you know and that's all I wanted.
To feel-- to feel the feelings.
Okay?
O Kay.
Okay. Well, I think I love you, but I'll talk to you later.
- Hey, ned. - Hi, Spencer. Hovv's it going, buddy?
Still thinking about that trading truth shit
from today. It's killer stuff.
So listen up, man? What's eating at you?
You going out auditioning and shit?
Getting seen?
That L.A. scene is crazy.
Yeah, well, it's definitely tough.
Yeah. You just gotta stick it out, man.
When I was your age, i was ruthless.
I was knocking on all kinds of doors,
- mailing all kinds 0f shit to peop-- -
piece of shit thing.
Can I get your something?
- Oh, uh, cream of broccoli soup, please? - Sure.
Anyway, you can't back off of them.
'Cause the minute you do, they're just gonna--
what's going on with you and Lisa?
It's complicated, man.
- Uh-huh. - It's very complicated.
What happened to your eye?
Oh, nothing, nothing, i got punched by a doctor.
What's your game plan there with Lisa?
Oh, I don't know if we should get into all that.
Come on, man. I'm not in high school anymore.
I can take it.
Let's trade truths.
I'll go first.
I was a seat filler at the people's choice awards,
and they asked me to leave
'cause I couldn't stop crying.
- Okay, man. - All right, now it's your turn.
What's going on with Lisa? What's...
I mean, I don't think she knows what she wants.
We've been sort of on again, off again
for a couple of months.
You know, we're having fun.
She's a good kid,
but...
Different worlds,
different generations, you know?
Just trying to keep that shit at arm's length.
And you're married.
Right. Yeah.
Remember junior year,
when you had us just go on stage and yell "fuck you"?
- Yeah,sure. - It's my favorite exercise.
I'd start class vvith that every day if it vvasn't for camera phones.
Can't no half my old shit.
Listen, ned,
I think you're a really good guy,
and I've always looked up to you.
I still do, but--
- here you go. - Thank you.
Yeah.
I have this friend.
He's the nicest guy in the whole world.
And he never says fuck you to anybody.
And I've been thinking.
This guy, he must be miserable.
I mean, how does he live like that?
But in reality
he's a lot happier than I am...
Happier than both of us, probably.
Truth is, man,
let's face it.
You can't yell fuck you forever.
You can't push people away like that...
Not to mention, it's kind of messed up
to make a whole classroom full of kids yell curse words.
You know, at least make that optional.
I'm just saying. It's...
Jesus Christ, man.
I thought you wanted to talk about agents or some shit.
Yeah.
I got an appointment.
What the fuck, man?
That's it?
Keep 'em honest out there, ned.
Jay! Where are my long socks?
That's not a weatherman!
A weatherman should look
like they've been outside for days,
and they just look like they've been killed by the weather.
This person looks like they came from the rainbow room.
Why does everybody look like they came
from the rainbow room on television, giving the news?
Sorry.
Hello, Betsy?
They wanna see you again.
Vvhat? Vvhat happened vvith not being stocky enough or vvhatever it vvas?
Patrick saw another photo and said you looked way burlier.
Yeah, yeah, I know that photo.
Well, that's... great news.
Yeah, it's really fucking great.
Let's get you in there as soon as possible.
Let's do tomorrow at noon.
Bring a headshot and maybe throvv "shitty brother-in-lavv" on a thumb drive, okay?
See you there, Spencer.
- Jay. - Hi, Jo.
Hey.
- Hey. - Hey, what's up?
Not much. What are you doing?
Uh, my family does not sort out the recycling from the garbage,
so I do it...
The end of the week, and it's disgusting.
Um, how was your thing today?
My thing? You mean rehab, Jay?
Yeah, yeah.
- It's okay. - Sorry.
I'm an outpatient, so I get there at 9:00
and leave at 5:00.
Um, it's like having a job
but with no emotional boundaries.
- Lt's-- it's odd. - Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
How was your day?
Um, it's kind of like that too, actually.
So how's your brother doing?
Have you--
and I can't even imagine.
You know, I've seen him on the Internet and stuff.
It's like, California,
far away and sunny.
How does he seem to you?
L-i haven't--
I haven't talked to him in, uh...
-0l-|... ls-- - Jay, it's fine.
I know you've been driving him around all day.
Wha-what? No. We--
my mother still doesn't know, and she can't know.
-L'm s-- okay-- -so stop.
I'm sorry. I just--
wow. Okay, so do--
do other people know?
Yeah, I got a couple calls, actually.
Oh, did antoinette really punch him in the eye?
Yeah, she, like...
Wound up
god, poor guy.
L'm-- I'm sorry.
Why is he a poor guy?
Jo, he comes here.
He runs around,
hiding from you guys.
Don't you just wanna...
Like grab him and just, like, shake him?
Like, aren't you angry?
Are you angry? You seem angry.
I don't know. It's just he--
all he cares about is his "dog walkers"
and his made up health problems.
He doesn't even wanna be here.
I think, if he didn't want to be here,
he wouldn't be here.
I think he just hit a wall,
and he needed to come home.
I just think he's going about it wrong
'cause he is...
An idiot.
And, I don't know,
scared?
Yeah.
Did you say he's walking dogs?
No, it's like he loves the dogs but he's conflicted about it.
Just the dogs in his life?
L.-
mom?
The ophthalmologist, Ellen!
Come on.
I don't-- i don't really--
no, we gotta go. Come on.
I'm just going to fully dilate your eyes.
It'll take few moments.
- There's a-- a car. - Yeah, man, safety first.
Oh, that's a great idea.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Okay.
...appreciative of your vote,
and it was so great running into you.
Really, really, really...
All my prayers. It means so much to us.
We really appreciate it.
If you've got some volunteers, I'm telling you.
Take these brochures. Put this on their cars.
We could really use the support.
Ellen?
What is it?
I'm not sure.
Ellen!
He jumped out.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Kaminski? Is that you?
Spencer!
Get in.
Thanks, man.
So Laurie did tell my mom,
an d-- holy shit.
Listen, Jo, uh...
I was just about to stop by the house,
but then I, uh...
I've got hot hands.
Did you get punched more than once?
Yeah, two times.
Hey, wha-- when's your train again?
Amber. Amber.
Amber.
Um, Jay? What are you doing?
Uh, it's Mr. feldman.
Okay? And I'm just--
wanted-- just wanted to let you know
that because you haven't done any of the work for my class,
you are-- actually, yeah, you're gonna be failing it.
You don't take it seriously.
You have to suffer the consequences.
I mean, you don't do the work, you don't show up.
You broke two cameras, okay?
And those are expensive cameras,
very expensive, and you broke two.
No one's ever broken two but you.
Okay? So you know what?
You don't deserve a passing grade.
You're not going to get one.
What is your problem?
Listen, I'm gonna go.
Have a great practice, but just to be clear,
you fail, Amber. Okay?
You fail. Okay. Sorry.
Sorry, coach.
Fuck you, Amber.
Now, just... have fun. I don't know.
But not less fun.
That's great.
Okay, just relax your shoulders a little.
Okay. And just chin up a tiny bit.
Too much. Back.
You're smiling kind of like-- like weird.
Spencer, do the... thing.
Um, seriously? No. Yeah, I mean, just--
you know, we'll try it and then you have it.
All right, all right.
Okay, ready?
Still-- you still got it.
Okay, you wanna see?
Yeah, let's see.
We could probably fix your eye a little bit on the computer.
No, no, this is perfect.
Yeah?
All right, let's do a few more.
Just look right at me.
Okay, ready?
Smiling.
I'll go get you a ticket, Spencer,
'cause the machine's really different now.
Thanks, man.
Listen, Jo. I vvas thinking in the car, and I just--
if you could just tell mom that I'm sorry and that I just really need--
Spencer, is this ycu trying to fix this in the six minutes before your train comes?
Yeah. I just--
no. I'm sorry.
So what's this dog Walker thing?
"Dog walkers" pilot?
It's so stupid. It doesn't even matter.
If it matters to you, I'm not gonna think it's stupid.
L-- I probably won't think it's stupid.
You should call me and let me know how it goes either way.
- Call me. Okay? - I will.
But I am not talking to mom for you.
Do you realize how insane that is?
All right, I get it,
- and that's-- I'm sorry. - All right, well you--
- great, you will call her? - I'm gonna call her.
And you will have a conversation?
I promise I will call her and have a conversation.
- Okay? - All right.
I'm sorry.
--| PR-- I wll_l_.
- All right. - Okay. Good-bye.
Hey, guys.
I got it.
- Bye. - Bye.
So how you feel?
I feel good. You know?
Yeah? You feel healthy or...
At this moment, i pretty much feel healthy.
That's good.
It's a good thing, right?
Okay, well, I should-- i should go.
Well, thanks again, man.
Sure. Yeah.
- Good to see you. - Yeah.
Look, Jay.
I'm sorry I said you can't drive.
You're a great driver. You're the best driver I know.
Okay. Thanks.
See you soon.
Ifor Mei
how's it going, man?
And you put some new shoes on my feet
I know, man.
I know.
Ifor Mei
ifor Mei