Once there was a girl who walked straight,
yet she was truly lame.
She walked upright in new boots,
yet I tell you, her feet were bare.
She lives forever,
yet she lies buried in a vault of fertile air.
And if she's shaken from her torpor,
she'd rise to write.
What would she write?
How are you feeling?
Still feeling crappy.
The biopsy doesn't look good.
Melody, I'm very sorry, but...
it's cancer, laryngeal...
and it's inoperable.
The tumor is malignant and it's growing rapidly.
It's causing an obstruction in your trachea and larynx.
What will happen?
Most likely you'll lose your voice first,
and then, as the cancer progresses,
you will find it increasingly more difficult to breathe.
How much time?
I would say from the looks of things,
you have perhaps a month or two.
Is there anything--
You need to go home, get your affairs in order,
and then you come back here tomorrow,
and we're gonna set you up with a counselor, okay?
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
"Driving me nuts"!
Hi, Melanie.
Mr. Faddis, I'm sorry I'm late.
Listen. You're being downsized.
- What? - Fired.
In that envelope is your severance pay.
I've been here for four years.
Four weeks' severance pay.
That's one week for each year you've been with the company.
I don't understand.
Four weeks is plenty of time
to find a new job in this environment.
Good luck.
Oh, my God, can you believe the nerve?
On their first date, all he wanted was oral sex...
I'd like to make a collect call, please...
...to Brett White.
My name is Mel Wilder.
Hey, Brett, it's me.
Y-yeah.
You know, I don't have a cell phone.
Well, yeah.
No, I think they're a big waste of money.
Listen, listen, I need to see you.
I can't tell you on the phone.
Brett, please. Please.
Listen, I have to see you.
Later is kind of tough.
Twenty minutes, bye.
Hey.
I--I--I--
Mel.
I'm glad you called.
I've been thinking.
If I really, truly loved you...
My therapist said-- Um, okay. Okay.
I need some time alone.
I need some space.
I'm feeling suffocated.
I mean, not me personally, but my life force.
Do you understand?
Honey, I--
I think we need to take some time apart.
It's time for me to look for my inner child,
to discover who I really am.
I mean, it's been a hell of a day...
TAP WATER RUNNING]
Thank you.
But why would you call Richard?
Because he's pathological!
Listen, I'll call Jiggy, and I'll get back to you.
Because I'm with someone.
Okay, I'll see you later. Bye.
Miss Wilder.
Miss Wilder?
Mel Wilder.
Ah, Manny Laffs.
What's wrong with your voice?
Laryngitis.
Well, now, you understand this is a short-term rental.
Short, long are relative.
Yes, yes, but this one is short.
It's actually kind of a unique sort
of New York-style situation--
short term, as-is,
leave the place as you found it.
Pretty unique.
And you don't wanna see the loft?
It's perfect.
All right.
Hello! Anybody home?
Just a minute.
Hello?
Who is it?
Phone man!
Hi. Melanie Wilder?
May I come in?
Just moved in here, huh?
Melanie... Melanie Wilder, right?
- It's Melody. - Oh.
Mr. Laffs, we saw him the other day
and he told me that you just moved in,
so I figured I'd save some time
'cause I was doing an installation
And I figured... usually it takes
four to six weeks for a residential.
Get you set up today and you luck out.
Uhh...
You just moved in, right?
Ma'am, are you okay?
All right, look, you're gonna get
a new phone number, so that's good.
You want call waiting?
Call waiting's a good thing.
I don't--
We also have a DSL special if you want,
or you can get call-forwarding or--
- No, no. - Caller ID, or...
No? Okay.
I'm gonna leave you with this, uh, phone we have.
It's a promotion. You get a free one.
It's a-- Don't ask me.
Corporate sends it out and--
but, you know, if you don't like it,
you can always just set up your own phone there.
What are you,
just waiting for the furniture today or...
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Okay. You know what?
I'm just gonna leave you with these phonebooks,
just put them right there.
And, uh, if I can just get you to sign this,
I'll be-- I'll be on my way.
Just, uh...
I--I want an unlisted number.
Yeah. That's no problem.
All right, look, why don't you just, uh, take this?
Take care of yourself, all right?
Have a good day.
Hi. I'd like a delivery.
What are your specials?
Golden Beef Happy Family?
Actually, I'm vege-- you know what?
I'll go for the Golden Beef Happy Family.
Oh, what does that come with?
Spare ribs? Okay.
Hi.
I'd like to order a bed, please.
Mm-hmm.
What's the best you carry?
Vera Wang?
Okay, I'm gonna trust you on that.
Um, what size...
Um, I don't know.
I think... a king?
Yeah, I'll go for a king.
Okay, I'm just gonna get my card.
"Return to the womb"? I could do with that.
The card is 70262437.
Ah!
Hey.
Next time, he's not gonna let us put--
That hound is a psycho.
If we'd stayed in our old place--
It was a room, one room.
Honey, it was a room we could afford.
Dad, Mom, can you get me that red guitar for Christmas?
- Christmas...honey! - The guitar, again.
Christmas isn't something to indulge in right now.
Now it's gonna take that crap to make her happy.
Don't start.
- Did you put tarragon in this?
- This is overcooked. - No, it's not.
Hi. Um, I'd like to make an order, please,
um, of your linens.
I'd like--I'm just gonna go to the catalogue--
three sets from the Bed, Bath & Beyond Hotel Collection,
the ivory color,
king size.
Uh, a dozen of your towels, your bath towels,
the softest ones you have in white
and a dozen in silver.
Hi. Uh...
Could I please have your six foot by nine foot rug,
the Mums in Silk rug,
and then the Camilla Blue,
uh, twelve foot by nine foot rug...
the Camille.
Yes, please, a delivery...
Space 107?
I need to order the Milo Baughman coffee table,
the pair of Karl Springer Lucite lamps,
and the 1950s wire chaise.
The lantern vase from the Jonathan Adler
and also the thistle vase from the Relief Collection
on page 15.
Uh, five of those, that's right.
You have my card number?
Okay, maybe you could store that.
My card number is 9437--
Yeah, next day is fine...
5202780...
Yeah, I know it's expensive.
I have the money but I don't have the time,
if you know what I mean.
No, you don't know. Of course.
Pizza.
Pizza delivery!
Just a minute.
Ma'am, your pie's getting cold!
Okay, hang on.
Don't come in, please.
Just slide the box on the floor.
Where's all your stuff?
You're still gonna have to sign for the pie!
You're still gonna have to sign for the pie.
No need to tip.
Sorry, I have no cash.
Don't worry about it.
Sorry.
The, uh, 62975...
Page 18.
Yeah.
Coming. Hold on.
You know, there's somebody at the door.
I'm gonna call you back.
Ahem, okay.
Yeah?
Parcel delivery, ma'am.
Who?
I have some packages for you.
Great.
Uh, yeah.
Just a sec.
Ma'am?
Hello.
Holy cow!
It's Christmas!
Just move in?
Uh-huh.
Nice.
Lots of room.
Yeah.
What's your name?
Me?
Yeah.
What's your name?
Roscoe.
Roscoe?
Roscoe.
Really?
Is that funny?
I just--no, I just never met anybody,
you know, named Roscoe.
Will you sign this, please?
Melody Wilder.
Never met anybody named Melody, either.
It means "graceful" in, uh, Hawaiian.
Your parents, they Hawaiian?
No. No, no, no.
They're from Tonawanda, upstate.
No way.
That's a freaking coincidence!
My parents named me for a town
Get out of here!
Serious.
Roscoe, New York.
That's where they met, in a diner.
I'm glad my parents didn't name me Tonawanda.
Tonawanda Wilder?
You got more big orders like this?
I'm ordering lots of stuff.
Well...then I'll be seeing you.
Nice dress.
Fuckin' crazy bitch!
Pizza delivery.
You need a hand with that?
Sure.
You know, you could have killed somebody
throwing all that shit out of the window.
Uh, thanks...Tony?
Ah, no, it's my brother's shirt.
What does he think about that?
He probably wears my underwear
My name's Cookie.
Cookie Clemenza.
Yours is Melanie Wilder.
I've seen it on your card.
Melody, Mel.
Mel.
What's the matter with your voice?
I...
I'm sorry, I don't mean to get up
Okay. The tip is on the slip.
Thanks.
Oh, the best pizza to get is the special--
dandelion greens, double cheese,
The sausage is homemade--
Thanks.
Thanks for that.
- Yeah. - See you.
Yeah, cool ring.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Real diamonds. - Three carats.
- Holy Hanna. - Yeah.
Oh, before I forget,
we give these out for free.
Uh-huh.
My dad picked out the picture.
It's different photos of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Actually, it's the same photo
but a different color background.
Ah, this month, it's green.
All right, well, see you around.
Nice.
# It's a hard way we travel #
# A long road we came #
# From a dark fall we wandered #
# No one calls our name #
# We crossed through cold mountains #
# And wound through the trees #
# We ran with your rivers... #
It's not my fault.
We've apologized to her.
It's over. It's over, Nick.
Come on.
Come on, honey.
Let's go home.
Hi. Do you take credit cards?
Good.
I'd like to buy a guitar.
Electric.
Uh-huh.
To deliver today?
What do you recommend?
Money's not really the issue.
A '63 Fender Strat?
Uh-huh.
Reissue?
Color? Red, it's gotta be red.
Amps?
I--I don't know. My place is pretty large.
- All stringed? Yeah. - Oh, hey.
Yeah, sounds good.
Marshall?
A Marshall-- two Marshalls.
Great. Um...
Where do you want this?
Triple stack? Sure.
Cords? I need long cords, the longer the better.
Yeah.
Picks? A hundred.
Yeah, a hundred.
Simple black strap. Wah-wah pedals?
Pedals, wah-wah.
Humbucking pickup? Sure.
You know, whatever's right,
'cause I'm a beginner,
so whatever I can do in two months.
It's a long story.
Card number's, uh, 94728075230599.
Expiration 09-09.
Wilder, 295 West Street, penthouse.
Yeah, I'll be here.
Be here all the time.
Okay.
You're welcome. You have a nice day, too.
I just bought a guitar.
That's great.
And then I have to get,
you know, amps and stuff for the guitar.
What?
You're spending money like there's no tomorrow.
There is no tomorrow.
All my tomorrows are yesterday.
Anyway, I'm charging it.
- But when they come for the minimum due--
You're leaving?
Yep, splitting... splitting into atoms.
Big bang.
Whatever you say.
Oh, oh what, the customer's
On this job, I see a lot of people
Plastic get so hot,
they stick 'em in the freezer just to cool them down.
You think I got a fever?
Miss Wilder.
You wanna feel my forehead?
Please, sign here.
You're married.
Yeah, going on seven years.
I was just thinking.
Thinking?
Some girls get all the luck.
I'm not sure my wife would agree.
But thanks.
Hello?
Anybody home?
Jeez.
Who is it?
Roscoe.
Oh, hi, Roscoe.
Did I catch you at a bad time?
I thought I got everything I ordered.
It's been a while since I delivered anything,
but I thought I'd check to see that you are okay.
I had a funny feeling after that little rap
What's behind your back?
Oh, these?
I was walking by my aunt's flower stand
over on Bleecker.
She gave me these.
They reminded me of you.
Not your wife?
They reminded me of you.
Roscoe...
If you come back,
just come back for the moment.
It's all there is.
As you play Exercise 24
and marvel at how great you sound,
please remember-- you learned this lead
a section at a time.
And don't forget that this is the secret
- A lead when viewed in its entirety...
...looks impossible.
When you break it down into small sections...
- Hang on a second. - ...it becomes manageable.
That's the way you learn the five pentatonic--
Yo, Melody!
You haven't ordered in days.
I thought you might be starving to death.
Hold your horses.
Hi.
- Are you busy? - Oh, no, it's fine.
Am I interrupting something?
'Cause I could go.
No, no. Yeah, come in.
You're looking good. Fuckin' A.
You're looking good, too.
Yeah, I joined a gym.
I haven't gone yet, but I joined.
Where do you want me to put the pie?
Oh, on the rug's fine.
One second.
So, who gave you the ring?
Vito.
Vito?
Katana.
Vito the Cat.
He hates it.
Hates what?
He thinks when you call him the Cat
you're dissing him.
You know, it's like a--
it's like you're calling him a pussy.
What does Vito do?
I'm not really sure.
Deals with the money.
Money?
He's connected.
Connected to what?
You know, connected.
Leather couch!
Ha, fucking awesome!
Genuine.
And look at the bed.
And the TV. What are you watching?
Oh, I'm learning how to play guitar.
No shit.
Uh-huh.
Are you serious?
As cancer.
I brought Chianti.
That's nice.
Um, I'll find some glasses.
I can't--I can't believe all this shit you got in here.
What in freaking hell
inspired you, huh?
Why are you here, Cookie?
I don't know.
They speak to me...
the objects.
They speak to you?
They whisper.
In a strange language.
What language?
The language of objects.
They give me hope
by whispering rumors of my redemption.
It's like poetry.
I only wish I could have collected them
more slowly, individually, but...
But?
I don't have time.
Why not?
I just don't.
You going somewhere?
Yeah.
Where?
Where are you going?
I'm-- I'm leaving.
You're serious, aren't you?
Yes, yes.
Cancer.
Let me see your ears.
- My ears? - Yeah.
Why do you wanna see my ears?
Because they're beautiful.
Stop!
They're gorgeous.
Jeez.
Yeah.
Mwah!
Watch out, I'm ticklish.
You ever hear of a Chinese musician
Mm-hmm. What about him?
Why would somebody give their son
two first names like that, huh?
What about John-John Kennedy?
Who's that?
You don't know who John-John Kennedy is?
Yeah, yeah. He's the president
Uh, never mind.
- So what about-- - I wasn't even born.
Oh, you weren't even born.
Nah.
What about Cookie?
What about the name Cookie? Cookie?
It's really Constance.
Get out of here.
Yeah.
Serious?
Yeah.
Constance.
Okay, I'm gonna call you Constance from now on.
No, don't call me Constance.
I like Constance. We should get a--
Don't.
You should have a shirt with Constance on it.
No, no. It's Cookie to you.
Constance. I like Constance.
Yeah?
Oh, jeez. Oh, Jesus.
Hi, is that Gusto?
Gus-Gusto.
Gusto. Yeah, yeah.
Uh, what are your specials tonight?
Artichoke.
Yeah. Grilled octopus, I'd like very much,
and the focaccia with apples.
Let's see here on the menu....
And the gnocchi
Gnocchi. Okay.
Uh-huh. With the mushroom, very good.
And I'd like the chicken as well, please.
Heirloom chicken. I like the sound of that.
And, uh, tiramisu times two.
Uh, cappuccino, maybe.
Bottle of Chianti. Yeah.
And the cannoli dessert that you mention there.
Uh-huh. Okay.
Oh, it's for one person. Yes.
I've never been so hungry in my life.
The name is Wilder.
I'll just get my card.
# When Lana's pregnant
# Enjoys awful strong and bettin' your life
Hello!
# You know I need some lovin' #
# Would you touch me? #
# John #
# Well, I'm only dancing #
# She turns me on #
# Well, I'm only dancing #
# She turns me on #
# Well, don't get me wrong #
# I'm only dancing #
Oh!
Fuck me, all right?
Whoo!
# You know I need some lovin' #
# Oh, baby, touch me #
# John #
# Well, I'm only dancing #
# She turns me on #
# Well, I'm only dancing #
# She turns me on #
I'm going away! Oh!
Yeah! I love you!
Holy shit!
What happened?
We had a lovers' spat.
Spat?
He wanted me to tell him who I was seeing up here.
And when I wouldn't, he, uh... he...
Anyways, I finally told him,
and, uh, he called me a dyke.
Mel, what are you doing?
Hang the fuck up!
- But-- - But nothing.
I fucking stabbed him in the cheek with a fork.
Nobody calls me a dyke
and leaves with all their wisdom teeth.
I told him to leave you alone,
but just in case he does show up...
just let it ride, okay?
I like you.
I do.
And Vito?
He's not all that bad.
The wedding's in a few weeks.
I can't invite you, you understand?
Bye, Mel.
Hello, ma'am?
Mel?
Hi.
So, what's up?
Nothing. It's nothing.
Well, I was just...
Roscoe, what do you wanna tell me?
My wife and I have been trying
to have a kid for a while.
She's hearing the ticking clock,
but it didn't look like it was in the cards.
She was so depressed.
It didn't have anything to do with me,
you know... till recently.
She went to see the doctor.
She's...
Congratulations.
Thank you.
You bet.
Hey, Blue Hill? Daniel?
It's Mel Wilder here.
Yep, I'm starved.
I would like to order the salmon steak,
country salad--
broiled salmon.
A red wine, a merlot.
Yeah. Use my card.
Add a $10 tip, of course.
Thanks.
Hello?
Daniel.
Okay, um...
I don't know why,
'cause there should be 6,000 in there.
I'm gonna give you another one.
Take my... Vista Bank.
8532084364218049.
Expiration 09-08.
Yeah.
It's gonna be fine.
Oh, uh...
This is-- this is strange,
but I'll...
I'll give you another card, if you don't mind.
Um, my Mission Bank.
I have here is--
Ready for the number? Okay.
807531000240837,
and the expiration is 11-09.
Okay. Uh... you know, I'm gonna shoot for one more.
Third time lucky, right?
Fourth--fourth time lucky.
It's, um, I'll give you the Vista Bank--
it's an ATM card.
It's 8532084364218049.
That's expiration 07-09.
Daniel, what day is it?
What month?
Ah. Ah.
Ah.
Ah, ah!
Ahhhhhh.
Ahhhhhh...
Hi, I'd like to see Dr. Murray, please.
- Name? - Wilder, Melody.
Do you have an appointment, Miss Wilder?
You know, I think she's gonna want to see me.
Okay.
Okay, um, let's see here.
Okay, yeah.
Okay. Um...
She'll be with you in just a minute.
What's up?
What Dr. August was saying and what we are all saying
is the tumor's gone.
What?
How could you do this to me?
We didn't do anything.
The question is what did you do?
- Do? - What did you change?
In your life, what did you change,
what habits, your diet, anything?
What did I change?
I changed everything.
I've heard of something similar,
a type of remission wherein the person changes so much
that the tumor no longer recognizes the body as host.
Medically, scientifically speaking,
Statistically, you're one in a million billion.
Melody, you don't have cancer.
Crazy New Yorker. Wake up!
But, uh, I think all in all it's--
I'm sorry, would you excuse me, please?
One second. Miss Wilder. Miss Wilder!
I've been trying to reach you.
Here I am.
You were supposed to be out of here in two months.
Yeah.
That was our deal.
I know, I know.
It's three months now.
I'll get you the money.
You don't understand.
The reason we did a short-term lease
is because I'm in the process of selling the building.
Now, these people seem very interested, okay,
but I gotta get inside and show the loft.
- But-- - I need you to vacate.
Can you just give me a couple more weeks?
Please, I swear I'll be out.
It's just I didn't count on--
What? You didn't count on what?
I didn't count on being alive.
Well, I su--
I suppose I could use the security deposit
as this month's rent.
Then you're gonna have to be out, okay?
# Call upon my soul within my house #
I cannot live with you, it would be life
And life is over there, behind the door
I could not die with you...
For one must wait to shut the other's gaze down
I cannot live with you
It would be life...
And life is over there
Behind the door
Hi.
Hey, how you doin'?
- Good. - What's up?
How much will you give me for this?
Fifty bucks.
- Fifty bucks? - Yeah.
I paid $425 for this.
My mommy didn't love me either. $50.
It's not that great.
- Fine. - All right.
And what about this?
Twenty bucks on that.
This is a very fancy chair.
It's all right.
Okay.
Jeez Louise.
Billy?
So, what do you think?
Thirty bucks.
Over there! Run, run, run!
Miss Wilder?
Miss Wilder, I know you're in there.
You need to read this!
And so is offered
in these optimistic, though viral times,
a souvenir of another time
with this added prayer:
In art and dream, may you proceed with abandon;
in life, may you proceed with balance and stealth.
Oi, girl. What's up?
Hi.
What, you, uh... you making coin?
Nickels and dimes.
Think you've got a few quarters
Nah, I'm just funning you. Just funning you.
Listen, babe, why don't you
All right? There you go.
- Uh-- - No, no.
I'm just gonna run after the old Rasta dudes,
score some dime bag, but I'll be right back.
Roll us a fatty, we'll fire her up
and we can jam, yeah, all right?
You know, I-I don't think so.
I, uh...
Uh, wait, mister?
Oh, fuck off!
- Can't believe it-- - Hey!
All right, all right, all right!
# I'm getting tired #
# Yeah, and I'm blue too hanging on me #
# I took tomorrow over here #
# No one to follow #
# Well, I waited all this time #
# Well, I'm on your side #
Hey!
# You gotta move it #
# Keep your eyes or something moving #
# I'm in the mood to sing a sad song #
# Sad song #
# Well, I need to let you know #
# That I'm on your side #
Hey!
# I want to take a dive with you #
# I need to take a dive with you #
# I want to take a dive with you #
# Yeah, I think that I could dive with you, yeah #
# Well, take a dive, take a dive, yeah yeah #
# Take a dive, take a dive, yeah yeah #
# I'll take a dive #
# I been around for a long time in the shadows #
# I've been thinkin' 'bout the daytime in the hollow #
# I need to let you know #
# I'm on your side #
# A-hey #
# I'm on the brink #
# Of a solution #
# I wanna show you #
# It's a danger like a handgun #
# It's gonna blow you #
# Yeah, please don't read my mind #
# I'm on your side #
Hey!
# And I wanna take a dive with you #
# Wanna take a dive with you #
# I need to take a dive with you #
# I wanna take a dive with you #
# Yeah, I think that I could dive with you #
# Well, take a dive, take a dive, yeah yeah #
# Take a dive, take a dive, yeah yeah #
# I wanna dive with you #
Hey!
Thank you!
Thank you very much.
You guys have been great.
Appreciate it very much. Thank you.
# I want to fly free but I'm scared what I'll see #
# I want to fly high but I'm still scared to die #
# I want you to love me but where will I be #
# I want you to love me but will I be free? #