Shun!
Deborah!
I've come...
I've come to hand in my notice!
I know I'm...
poison!
Help!
- Deborah! - Help!
She got struck by a lightning bolt. She's gone weird.
Quick. Go and get blankets and water.
It's OK. It's OK.
Come on.
Gently down. Now tuck her in, keep her warm. That's it.
Donald, this is probably a good time to tell you that
I slept with your mother.
Hope that's OK.
Come on!
Hello?
'Good morning, Mrs Flower.
'I have your husband on the phone. Shall I put him through?;
Oh, God, erm... No, thank you.
I understand. Shall I tell him you'll call him back?
'I'm afraid she's not in her room at the moment. Can I take a message?'
Er, no, don't worry. I'll call back in a bit.
So she did check in, then?
'She did, yes.'
OK. Thank you.
- 'Deborah?' - Dad?
- Donald. - 'When did you get back?' - Er, I don't know.
Well, what have you been doing? I left a massive note on the table.
Er...
What's... what's happened?
It says on the note!
Can I speak to Mum, please?
'Er, she's at the hotel still.'
What? Why is she at the hotel when you're there?
Is Amy OK?
I don't know. She's... she's not speaking.
- Should I come? - 'Yes, obviously! You're such a shit dad.'
OK. Sorry.
Amy told me what you did. I think it's really selfish.
What kind of twat tries to top himself
when he's got a family to look after?!
Shun, you got to drive me to the hospital!
OK. Can I have little coffee first? Very tired.
No. There's no time.
I've fucked it, Shun. I've fucked everything.
- Ahh... - Come on! - OK, Mr Flowers.
I think Mrs Flowers not happy to see me. I think you should go to hotel.
Just try and intercept it. It's in a green plastic bag.
Dark green plastic bag.
Dark green? Or green?
Well, you know, drab green.
- Drab green, like the tree. - Olive green. Khaki.
Car key?
Wha...? It's a green plastic bag.
OK. No problem.
It was a stupid idea. I want to do this properly.
- Do you want me to tell her about thunderbolt? - No.
I don't want her to even know that you're there.
OK. Interception mission.
- I need you to be cunning and discreet, OK? Can you do that for me? - Yes.
What is that?
Cunning.
OK.
- Yes. - Yeah.
Ah, Maurice, I need to have a word with you.
- What are you doing here? - I want to show you where Audrey died.
- No, Barry, it's not a good time. - It's not a request.
You are hurting Deborah and it's making me very angry.
- I need to get to my kids. - Yes, I know. I brought them here.
Where are you taking me?
Deborah is the purest, most giving, patient lady I have ever met
and here you are moaning about climbing a flight of stairs.
Did she jump off the roof?
No, she just... She came up here so no-one would stop her.
I was in the canteen buying a cheese slice and an apple.
I say apple because that's why I had this knife.
Oh, OK, Barry, just calm down.
Apples were the one thing she would eat that were actually good for her.
But she wouldn't eat them unless I sliced them first.
- Why do you need such a big knife to slice up an apple? - It's just what I had to hand.
You're not at your most practical when your wife's tried to kill herself again. You know?
- Fair enough. You want to put the knife down? - It was Christmas.
So I made her an eggnog, because I thought,
"Well, you know, she deserves a treat"
"but she won't be getting too carried away with the eggnog."
- Because it's quite rich isn't it? - Erm, yeah.
She drank eight litres of it while I was busy with the sprouts.
- Why did you make eight litres of it? - I just got the quantities wrong
so I... I had to keep adding ingredients
to-to balance it out.
And she must have found this in the bag because...
they discovered her...
.. oh, round about here.
And she'd obviously been squirming for a while
because there was blood everywhere.
And all her insides were out, like big sloppy wires all tangled up,
like, you know, when you can't see where the knots are.
Except this was my wife.
So I carry this knife with me at all times.
And do you know why I carry it with me, Maurice?
Barry, whatever you want, you can have it.
I just need to get to my daughter now.
I carry it with me to remind me that it was hard...
.. because if I didn't remember how hard it was I don't think
I could cope with her not being here any more.
It was exhausting, actually.
So I can't ever know how you feel, Maurice.
But I know how Deborah feels.
I know how she would have felt.
I keep saying to myself, "It will go away soon, this feeling",
"after a few months, few years perhaps."
But it never does.
This is what you leave behind.
So, this tree is another kind of oak, but it's a different oak.
A Quercus robur, ie, a pedunculate oak.
And the acorns, you'll notice, have a longer stalk...
than the Cornish oak.
Boring!
Follow me, please.
So...
.. tree like this will have 300
different species of insects.
- Shush, Maurice! - So if you are of a sensitive disposition,
you'd better watch out, cos they're going to get you.
You here on your own?
I'm happily divorced.
Oh, congratulations.
The oak...
God, I hate to think now. It was dreadful.
- Was it? - It was awful.
Miserable.
Years and years of misery and boredom.
And his stupid face looking at me.
Disgusting.
Do you know what really pushed me over the edge? His toes.
His toes?
Yeah, God. I just suddenly couldn't stand the sight of his fucking toes.
Deborah!
Maurice! What are you doing?
Maurice, stop it.
Follow me, please.
I want you scrunched as tightly as the fruit of a Quercus petraea!
OK! This is an ash.
How do I know it's an ash? Because of the mould...
Why are you holding a knife?
Barry gave it to me.
Why is Barry even the one looking after us?
I know. I'm sorry, Donald. Donald...
- What? - Thank you.
For looking after Amy. For putting up with me.
And for calling me a shit dad.
Well, it's not a compliment.
I know that. That's why I'm saying thank you.
And the tooth fairy's not real.
Why are you telling me that now?
I was going to tell you at some point, but I just never got round to it.
- What about Father Christmas? - Father Christmas is real.
Tooth fairy and the Easter bunny are made up.
But Father Christmas is real.
Only joking. I know he's dead.
Good morning, madam.
Good afternoon. Can I help you?
What is this lovely smell? Is it crumpets?
They're serving lunch at the moment.
I love butter so much. My name is Mr Flowers. English gentleman.
I'm here for my wife.
Really? You sound quite different to how you do on the phone.
Are you sure?
Maybe you are confused because my face is little bit Japanese.
But normally my accent is perfect.
Have you any identification?
No, no. I like to travel with minimum, how shall I say...?
But, er, Mrs Flowers is definitely my wife.
I'm here for romantic surprise. If you please.
Ah, Mrs Flower, I have your husband here.
Er, no, that's not my husband.
Has he sent you here to beg me to come back?
Because it's pathetic if he has.
And what are you wearing? Have you come here as some kind of spy?
No, Mrs Flowers.
What are you up to?
Nothing.
Why do you keep looking at the bag?
I'm not looking at the bag. Looking at duvet.
You're looking at the duvet?
Yes. Lovely pattern. Wonder how many feather...
Shun, why are you here really?
Excuse me.
Fucking shit-brain. Disaster.
What are you doing?
Are you all right?
- Oh, Shun, I'm sorry. - Sorry, Mrs Flowers.
I'm sorry. I know you're only trying to help.
I'm so stupid.
You look very tired.
Yes, very tired.
I'm very hungry.
Well, look, have these.
Sorry, Mrs Flowers.
Thank you.
All butter.
Everything always all butter in England.
Shun.
I don't know if I'm coming back.
I need some time to think about it.
But it's my decision. Do you understand?
Yes, Mrs Flowers.
But I do appreciate everything you've done for my family.
And thank you for looking after my husband.
No problem, Mrs Flowers.
And can you remember how it happened?
I was trying to cycle away from some pelicans.
Pardon?
I was trying to cycle over a bridge.
That's right. And can you remember how you got here?
No.
Sorry.
I saved you.
Do you know who these people are?
Erm...
you're Dr Grey.
You looked after my nana.
This is my dad.
I don't know who that is, though.
Amy, it's me.
Look.
Look at my face.
Is he the guy that came to fix the damp or something?
OK, I think she's pulling our leg.
Oh, thank God for that.
Great one!
As soon as she wakes up!
Still a bitch!
Maybe I shouldn't have been such a hero.
Maybe I should have left you to die!
- Why are you holding my hand? That's weird. - To say thank you.
'We're ready. Dad, it's me.'
- 'Come on, we're ready.' - 'Just a sec.'
- 'Maurice, what are you doing?' - 'I'm just recording.' - 'Just take the photograph.'
'What are you doing?'
'OK, everybody, spades down, we're going to go for a swim!'
'Is that a walking rock?'
- 'No, darling, that's a crab.' - 'Ha-ha, idiot.'
'Donald.'
- 'Amy's hurting me!' - 'Put him down, Amy.'
'Stop it! Get off!'
'Maurice, get the happiness machine.'
Is it working?
You feeling the happiness?
Not sure I'm the most plentiful source, but still.
There's something there.
Help yourself, obviously.
What's the matter?
Come here. Come here.
'It's 2.30am on Tuesday the...
'Hi, Deborah. Hi...
'Hi, Deborah.
'If you're listening to this,
'then I probably haven't managed to tell you in person, or...
'.. maybe I'm dead or something.
'Erm...
'I love you.
'I'm sorry that I'm a coward.
'That I'm not a good husband to you
'and that I'm not a good father to our kids.
'And I'm sorry for being such a difficult part of your life.
'I'm sorry for lying to you about my mother...
'.. because my mother didn't try to hang herself.
- 'I - tried to hang myself in our garden,
'and I didn't know how to tell you, so here I am.
'On a fucking tape...
'.. which is not how I wanted to do it.
'And just please know that I'm not unhappy because of you, I'm just...
'This is just who I am, I guess, and I don't know how to change that.
'I don't know how...
'I don't know what I can do to make it stop.
'Every morning I wake up...
'.. and the first thing I think of is killing myself.
'I feel exhausted all of the time.
'I find it impossible to get any kind of pleasure from anything,
'even when I think of the things that should make me the happiest...
'when I think of our love,
'of our children and everything that we've ever done together.
'It's as if I had a set amount of life assigned to me
'and I've used it all up.
'There's nothing left.'
Madam?
- Is everything OK? - Yes, thank you. Sorry.
Your pancakes.
Oh, they look delicious.
Thank you.
Oh, I didn't order that.
It's from the gentleman over there.
- Hello? - Hello, Mrs Flower.
I'm afraid I've got your husband on the phone again.
Shall I put him through this time?
Erm... yeah, put him through.
Hi.
How are you?
I'm OK. How are you?
I'm OK.
How's the hotel?
It's very nice.
What have you been doing?
Well, today, I went for a walk.
Good.
And then I had some pancakes.
Pancakes. Very nice.
And some berries?
Yeah.
Well, good.
Listen, I'm sorry for...
Well...
.. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I left you at the petrol station.
No. No.
It's good that you did in a way, maybe.
Maybe, yeah.
Has Shun been in touch at all?
No, sorry.
OK, well,
I do have something I need to say to you, but I want to do it in person,
if that's OK with you.
OK.
I'd really appreciate it if we could find time to do that.
When you're ready, of course.
Sure.
Also...
don't panic, but...
.. I'm in the hospital.
She's fine now, but Amy has been struck by a lightning bolt.
♪ Watch the
♪ Pigs come home
♪ Unfettered
♪ Hear the
♪ Clatter of bones
♪ I'm right
♪ In front
♪ Of you
♪ I'm right
♪ In front
♪ Of you
♪ With every colour of love
♪ In your eyes
♪ With every colour of love
♪ In your eyes. ♪
From a weird reverie of dark revelation,
Mr Grubb woke up with a strange sensation.
So he turned to the goblin who knew him the best,
and brought her soft hands to the depths of his chest.
It would beep through the future as it beeped through the past.
But how frightening to ponder when it's beating that fast.
Mrs Grubb said, "Be careful, or your poor heart might pop."
"I know," said her husband,
"I don't want it to stop."