There is a saying,
"Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see."
Good advice. People will try and convince you of anything.
Anything can be the start of a conversation, "Excuse me,
do you have the time?"
Well, you laugh. It's an oldie but a goodie.
Hotels are a great hunting ground.
People are away from home, they're ready to chit-chat.
Get their ear. Give 'em a sob story. Then hit 'em with a worst-case scenario.
...all over the place.
That's the old guy, though. Man, he's not lookin' good.
He's got this big incontinent problem.
I had dogs that were living forever. It's like breakin' my heart.
I gotta, you know... It's just... Yeah, it's sad.
- He was such a good dog for so long. - And some ketchup, please.
- Great dog. - Oh, yeah.
He's the best bird dog I think I ever had.
Excuse me, do you happen to have the time?
- Yeah, 8:45. - Forty-five. You guys here on vacation?
- Yeah, we're up for pheasant season. - Oh.
Trying to figure out whether to blow the day at the Potawatomi Museum
or the indoor water park? - Neither.
I'm not much of a hunter myself. I got a friend who is... was.
Buddy went shootin' quail and accidentally hit him squarely in the face.
Took his whole left cheek right off.
Of course, he ended up suing the guy for $1.2 million.
Poor fellow lost his house, his car. Last I heard he was
out in the woods somewhere, living in a cardboard box.
All because of an accident.
That's a guy who could of used a little liability coverage.
- Hey. Congrats on the award.
Whatever. It means zip.
What I'd really like is Phil Peters' award out there. Look at him.
That guy tops a million dollars in sales
'cause he's got the half dozen people bird-doggin' for him.
So? It's an off year. You'll bounce back.
Yeah. Just wanna make it to Aruba, you know?
Yeah, well, I saw the brochure. Wow. They're goin' all out for the 50th.
That's where you wanna make it.
I mean, none of this rinky-dink Wisconsin crap, you know?
- Let's go. - Oh. Gotta go.
Yeah.
- Well, you folks have a safe trip. - Thanks.
Careful on those icy roads.
Hey. You have change for a vending machine for a 50?
Stay away from the corn nuts. I know a guy who broke his jaw on one.
- You here on vacation? - Yeah.
I'm Bob Egan, I was at your seminar today.
- God, this is a thrill for me. - Oh, yeah, yeah.
- You were at the convention. - Yeah. Uh...
It's great to meet you.
Too bad. You let him get away.
Oh, no, no. He's a colleague of mine. I'll give it to him later.
Oh. Well, if you're not seein' him till later,
how about puttin' it to good use right now?
I just lost 40 bucks in the slots.
I could use some more cheerin' up.
OK. All right. No, no, no. Here, here.
- I think. - OK, how much farther is it?
Oh, hey. Hi.
Uh... This is, uh... Sherri.
- He's a winner! - She's...
She's, uh... interested in insurance, so...
I'm just gonna help her walk it off.
All right, here's the bathroom.
- Ooh! A suite. - Yeah.
Fancy.
Ooh!
- See? You are a winner. - Yeah.
- Mini bar. - Oh...
No. They charge you an arm and a leg for that. Don't open it.
All right. I got an early morning meeting.
OK? I think you mentioned you had a friend who could come and pick you up?
No, no, no, no. Listen...
I'm sor... I gotta call it a night.
One for the road, OK? Come on.
- Oh...
All right, time to go. That's it.
OK. Ooh!
All right.
Come on, this isn't a good idea. I'm tellin' ya. It's...
- Huh? - Huh?
Oh, God.
Oh, shit.
Didn't realize you had a security problem here.
Good thing you got my credit card on file.
I had my wallet stolen from my room last night.
Sorry, sir. I'll just get the manager for you.
Maybe your homeowners will cover it.
Jesus Christ. $4.50 for a Diet Coke. I feel like I've been robbed twice.
Yeah, I know. Money's been burnin' a hole in my pocket, too.
I'm lucky, though. My trip paid off. I got a job offer.
Which is great because I've been hopin' to move back
so my wife can be closer to her parents.
- Mr. Prohaska. - Yeah.
You're in luck. We found your wallet in the casino.
Oh, I see she preferred paper to plastic.
- Great, thanks. - She?
Well, I'm assumin' it's one of the maids that works here.
Nice of her to clean out my wallet, as well.
Hey, look. I still got a few twenties. Um...
Here, uh, take that for your trip.
And I'll just give you my card
and you can just mail it back to me whenever you get a chance.
Yeah. Well, thanks, Bob Egan.
- Yeah. Sure. - Thank you.
Oh, look. Better say goodbye to my new boss.
So you're gonna be working with Phil Peters, huh?
Oh, hey. Yeah, yeah.
I'm actually in the market for a new hire myself.
Oh, really, you are? You sounded like you had a pretty thriving business
going in there. I'm surprised...
I got about a half dozen agents working for me. Some of the best in the state.
- We've had a hell of a year. - Yeah. Well...
Where'd you say your in-laws live again?
- Racine. - Racine?
Yeah, that's up near my territory.
Mind me askin' how much he's offering ya?
Uh, well, it's a 70-30 split to start until I get my state license, which, uh,
I feel like it's a pretty good deal because I'm the new guy in the office.
You're lettin' him take that much? I think I could beat his rate by...
...I don't know, five percent.
- Five percent? - Yep.
- Sounds like a good deal. - Yeah.
- OK. OK. - OK.
All right. Terrific, I will do that. Thanks, Mickey.
I brought you in some more liability forms.
Happy to keep sending 'em in under my name until you're licensed.
God, thank you. That is terrific.
I gotta find out when the next exam is.
Take your time, study up. My secretary says it's gotten a lot tougher.
She's been taking classes just to prepare.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
Is she gonna start selling for ya?
Karla? I don't know about that.
Be better at the knicky-knack little details.
Following up on paperwork and so forth Female brain.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
You know, I should just come by the office next time.
- I mean, I'd love to meet everybody. - Our sales guys are barely in.
This is the new office. We do most of our sales by the telephone
and the rest of the time we're out networking. In fact,
you should think about joining some clubs.
- Can't get used to this weather. - You never get used to it, Bob, ever.
There's two seasons here, winter and road works.
Hey, that's a nice car. It's pretty easy to spot.
Yeah, my initials. Some son of a bitch got there first.
- Look at all this. - Hey, I wanted to tell you,
I stopped by and saw that trucker, off route 45.
I hope he made the long drive worth it for ya.
Oh, yeah, yeah. He's a super nice guy, but we actually found out
that he could do better with an outfit he already trucks for.
There's nothing wrong with a little information management, Bob.
Well, truth of it, he didn't have that much to spend.
But he did introduce me to a neighbor of his
who's looking for a full homeowners package.
He's a sweet old man. He's a retired farmer. I'm actually going out there...
Be careful of seniors. They'll keep you out there all day
just to have somebody to talk to. - No, no. He's pretty interested.
He's just wavering on the amount of coverage.
I mean, we don't wanna have him over-insured.
There's no such thing.
...Bob.
Maybe he forgot, he's older. I don't wanna waste any more of your time.
I'll come back next week.
Hey, it was really nice of you, though, to come out, help me try to close.
Crappy job shoveling. This is an accident waitin' to happen.
You should stress that in your sales pitch, scare him a little bit, you know?
- Bob? Nice to see you. Hey, Frank.
Mickey, this is Frank Richie.
This is the guy that asked me about the truck insurance.
Oh! Oh, Mickey Prohaska. Hi.
- Nice to meet you. - Yeah, yeah.
Say, Bob, thanks for your help.
You saved me a good 200 bucks. You fellas here to meet with Gorvy?
Yeah, yeah, but he doesn't seem to be in.
Oh, come on in. Maybe he's asleep.
He must be outside with his dog.
- It's chilly here. - Yeah, he keeps the temperature low.
Doesn't like to waste.
- I can see that. - Oh, some of these things are his sister's.
I brought 'em down after she went into the nursing home.
I told him I'd find out if any of it was worth anything.
I did some truckin' for an auctioneer.
He told me a guy once paid a hundred grand for a rug.
- Anything can happen, right?
- This rug might be worth a small fortune.
Well, this is not workin' the way they promised.
I was hopin' more uranium or gold. I find two quarters and a rail road spike.
Gorvy, I tried to call you.
You gotta remember, hang your phone up.
Oh, yeah. Hello, hello.
- Do I know these people?
- I'm Bob Egan. I met you the other day. - Nice to meet you.
- Mickey Prohaska. Hi. - Hi. Nice to meet you.
Want to come in? I could make some coffee.
I can't stay. Did you get a chance to take those pictures?
Well, I took pictures of Petey.
No. I meant the pictures for the auctioneer.
- I'm doin' a run for him this week.
Yeah, I was upstairs. I took everything down so I could see them.
It was too dark up there. Here, look what I found.
- Snow shoes. - I've always wanted to try those.
Well, take them. I got no use for them no more.
I'll let you folks do your business. Listen to 'em, Gorvy.
- OK. - They're here to help ya. Bye, guys.
- Bye. - Well, we might as well sit down.
What do I need insurance for?
Well, for one thing, to protect your valuables.
I don't got no valuables, except for Petey.
- Do you sell dog insurance? - No, but we do protect property.
And we insure with liability coverage.
Have you ever thought what might happen out there on your front porch
if somebody were to slip and get hurt?
Well, nobody comes here much except Frank and he wears those big boots,
you know, with cleats. So he's OK.
What about the mailman?
If, for instance, your dog there were to bite him?
He could sue you for a lot of money.
No. He's a nice guy. He wouldn't sue nobody.
Well, I got some peanut brittle. Fresh made if ya like.
- No, we should probably get going. - Yeah, I'm OK.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
So I think that he's interested in this one, but I'm not sure.
Can you deal with the guy in the back there?
Thanks.
You can't keep letting the mail pile up at our house.
Have you told anybody we're separated?
What am I supposed to say?
You've been outta the house for two months.
I know. I really miss you.
This payin' for two places is killing me financially.
I may have to take out a second loan on the house.
If you need money so bad, why don't you sell that car?
Don't be ridiculous, Jo Ann.
I can't show up to a sales call drivin' a crappy car.
Yeah, well, you went behind my back!
We should've discussed it like married people.
Discuss what? Don Schmidt gave me a great trade-in on my car.
- He's a policy holder. - So you bartered
- with Shane's college fund? - No, he's 14 years old.
- You have four years to pay it back.
By all rights, if you wanna be mad at somebody, be mad at Ed.
When's the last time that schmuck paid child support?
- Oh, please. - Hey. Whoa. Hey.
- I'm not gonna... - Listen, look, look, look.
Look at this, huh?
Aruba. That's where the convention is this year.
It's gonna be all warm and nice. We could all get away again.
That'd be great, wouldn't it?
I gotta get to work.
Shit.
What'd the Nice Night Inn want?
They need a new credit card number. The one they have for you is maxed.
We're out of coffee.
I asked you to get some more milk.
You know, I am capable of doing more than just making coffee.
I could do anything.
Maybe this isn't the right job for me. I gotta think about my future.
Karla, I got a plan for your future, OK?
I decided to make you Chief Financial Officer.
You'll be handling all the bookkeeping from now on. You can start with those.
- Wait, these are personal. - All right?
Not the agency's.
- I am the agency, Karla. - What about my raise?
Do you have any of that Christmas candy I gave you?
Listen, we're gonna see if you can handle more responsibility.
If you can, we're gonna do a salary review at the end of the month, OK?
Prohaska Agency.
Oh, you must mean Bob.
So, you decided to buy a policy?
- Great. - That a sale?
I'll take that.
Where... where is the other guy?
He was unavailable. What made you change your mind?
My TV's broken. You told me that the insurance would take care of it.
Well, it doesn't exactly work that way.
Besides, you have to have a policy in order to file a claim.
Yeah, well, that's why I called you over here. I want to get a policy.
- That's a very smart decision. - Yeah. So how much would this be?
Well, for your property here, I'd recommend insuring it for $300,000.
For this little place? $300,000 for this?
Nothing here is worth that much money.
You'd be very surprised. It starts to add up.
Your friend, Frank, said that that rug alone could be worth $100,000.
- Get away! - Oh, yeah.
This rug right here?
For $100 a month, you can protect it, along with all your other belongings.
I don't wanna scare you with this story, but I know a guy who came home
from work one day and his house was gone. Dust. Gas leak.
Last thing I heard he was livin' out in the woods in a cardboard box.
Well, I don't want me and Petey livin' out in the woods.
- Hm-hm. Hm-hm. - Not in this cold weather.
Hundred dollars, you say? - Yep.
OK.
Here we go.
All right, it might be better for you to put it in a check
so you have a copy for your records.
- Oh, yeah. A check. Right. - Yeah.
OK, good.
You know, I don't have a personal one, but I do have one from the business.
- That'll work. Yeah. - Yeah?
OK, yeah. The Golden Harvest account.
They come every summer. They plant the corn,
- and I tell you...
...I tell you it's worth its weight in gold.
The corns... These days... They use it for gasoline.
- There you are and just right there. - Yeah.
OK.
- OK. - Good. Go fix the TV now.
They came straight at me, so many surgeries, doctor visits, bills.
I'm so grateful for the attorneys at Hersh and McClennon.
- It won't cost you... - OK. You're all set.
I got everything I need here.
I'll just let myself out.
Oh, I'm glad you're here, I've just... I've been calling and calling,
the phone just kept ringing busy. But, uh... Well, I'm Leonard Dahl
from Oscar Dahl and Sons.
- The luthier. The violin maker. - Hm-hm.
- Well... - The Polaroid that you sent me
was kinda blurry, but I could see from the neck and the scroll work
- that it's a promising instrument. - OK, you want the homeowner.
Just a sec. Gorvy? Mr. Hauer?
- Is that it over there? - Gorvy?
You can't keep it by the door here, it's very, very sensitive to temperature
and humidity.
He's... He's asleep.
Hey, you're gonna have to come back. All right? He's asleep.
No, I can't come back. I'm from Chicago. I never get out here.
- Sir. - How about a second here?
- Wait a minute. Whoops.
- Gotta fix. Gotta fix.
- OK.
- It's got a really nice, mature tone. - Great.
- And very good volume and projection. - Listen, I gotta go.
Well, wait a minute. Could you hold that for me?
Just, I'm gonna... take a picture.
OK. Little higher.
Now, it's got a sound crack and it's got some surface damage,
but I can match that. I'll be... I'll be outta here in a second.
I can match the varnish perfectly.
I'm gonna be able to sell this thing, perhaps.
I'm gonna have to make the repairs first and my rates are very reasonable.
Oh, you're tryin' to squeeze the homeowner for some money?
Nice sales pitch, but you're barkin' up the wrong tree,
unless you wanna be paid in pennies. Let's go.
Now, you can't... you can't keep it there.
Well, you need to keep her away from the mall. I'll tell you that.
Because your premiums are gonna skyrocket.
- Yeah.
Hello? - Well, I...
Is anyone there? Listen, my TV is not working again.
I think I need a new one instead of this insurance.
- Can you hold on, John? - Hello...
Hello?
Yeah. Are you sure it's not unplugged again?
No. No, you don't wanna cancel your policy. It's not processed yet.
Yes. No, I can be out there...
Be out there in a half hour, OK? Just sit tight.
Thank you, Mr. Hauer.
- Bob. - Oh, hey.
- How long have you been here? - I just got here.
Just here droppin' off some of these auto policies,
and I wanted to meet Karla so I brought her these.
Oh, yeah, yeah. You just missed her. She had one of her insurance classes today.
Look at all these awards you've won. Wow.
Well, we're all part of the operation.
- Let me take... the policy? - Oh, yeah.
So where are you... where you headed?
Oh, one of my clients' wives had another fender bender.
Hopefully your wife doesn't drive a big wagon.
- Oh, no, no. - Let me show you where the key is.
And the main door's open late.
Yeah, my wife doesn't actually drive any more.
She started having these seizures.
That's why we moved back there to be with her parents.
Well, I'm glad that's workin' out.
I don't know.
The plugs look good.
Here's the problem. Past due.
Oh...
- Gotta pay your bills, Gorvy. - Oh, God.
Wow.
Looks like you're really gonna make some money on that violin.
I don't have no violin.
Real fire hazard in here, Gorvy.
All this stuff piled up. Gotta get rid of some of this.
- Look at this. - Can't just leave it...
Look at this, I do have a violin.
I didn't even know it. It was staring me right in the face.
- Not so good, but a violin.
Well, my stepson's really into music.
He might like this thing. Pretty beat up.
Tell you what. I'll give you...
...twenty... I'll give you ten. I'll give you $10 for it.
I'll tell you what. If you take me to the bank
where I can deposit the money in my money jar, I will give you the violin
for $10. - The bank's about to close.
- We'll never make it. - Well, we'll do it Monday.
We do that, we come back here, we watch some TV. We make a day of it.
It'll be safe here.
Good. OK. We do it.
Hi. I wrote you a check.
I wanna replace all the money I took out of the account.
- It's not just about the money, Mickey. - I know. I know it's not, I'm sorry.
I really screwed up.
Come on, Jo Ann, it's freezing out here.
- Hm...
Good to be back in my own bed.
Things are gonna be different this time.
Yeah. No more secrets.
I just want you to be honest.
Mickey, there's a check missing.
Oh, yeah. I moved some money into Jo Ann and my joint account.
- Well, how much? - $30,000.
- What? - Well, that's almost the whole balance.
Price I had to pay in order to get back into my house.
I'm not spendin' another dime on motels.
Mickey, you can't just take money without telling me.
- I'm in charge of finances now. - I'm gonna pay it all back.
I'm working on a very big deal, Karla.
Wait till you see this. This you've got to see.
Petey, come here!
This will make you laugh. Petey, come here!
Come, Petey. Good boy. Good boy.
- Good boy. Look.
Yeah, more singing.
- Come, sing.
It's heavy.
Must be over a hundred dollars in there.
OK.
Here, save me a place in line. I have to go to the bathroom.
If you get to the front, ask for Bill Morton.
Tell him it's for the Golden Harvest account. That's my farm.
No, Gorvy...
Oh...
Here, here. Let me help. Let me help you with that.
Good doggy, too.
Thought you were comin' back in.
Well, I went across the street to find a bathroom.
Then I met this nice man with the nice doggy.
- On. - Om
It's $122.41. I knew there was more than $100.
And that includes the $10 I already gave ya.
- What? - For the violin.
Oh. A man called me from Chicago, he wants to buy the violin.
- He even wrote me a letter about it. - No, no, no, no. We...
We have a deal. I'm takin' the violin.
- What? - For my stepson.
We already talked about it, he's all excited. I'm taking it.
I don't know. I have a fishing pole, I can give him...
No! No, Gorvy, that's not the deal. He doesn't want a fishing pole.
- No, thanks. - Then what do I tell the man from Chicago?
He's coming all the way to see it.
No, I'm really sorry, but the Tononi's not for sale.
I was sure that I mentioned that. I'm so sorry if I didn't.
No, it's... I have a buyer for it.
Could you just give me the best number to call you at?
Is that... Yes, is that 7-7-3? Uh...
Yes, that's terrific.
Thank you very, very much. I will get right back to you.
Thank you, bye-bye. Excuse me, do you have an appointment?
I'm here about the violin you wanted.
Oh, you're the guy from the farm in Wisconsin.
- Yeah, Mickey Prohaska. - Right. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm representing the seller. He's elderly, no condition to come here
and do business, so he's asked me to handle the sale.
Well, as I said in my letter, I'm prepared to offer $25,000.
I realize that. That's why I'm here.
I don't want you taking advantage of an old man, with all due respect.
Some of these violins are worth a lot more than that.
Oh, they certainly are, and some of them are worth a lot less.
And the one you're representing happens to be a very nice copy
of a Stainer. Yeah...
Jacobus Stainer's instruments were copied
and reproduced all over Germany.
Right down to the handwritten signature inside the body of the violin.
- Uh-huh. - Uh...
You can show that to your client, if you like.
Now, yours happens to have an exceptional sound quality,
and it's also one of the better copies I've come across.
Which is why the buyer's willing to pay you $30,000 for it.
$30,000? What happened to 25?
I take a commission.
If you wanna have somebody else handle the sale, be my guest.
I warn you, there's a lot of corruption out there.
- And why should I trust you? - This is a family-operated business.
We have survived for nearly a hundred years because of our reputation
and the quality of our work.
You know, the guy I was talking to when you came in, he will allow no one else
to even go near his instruments.
Is he the one who called about the Stainer?
Stainer? No.
No, the buyer I have in mind for your violin is a musician.
The other guy has one of the largest privately owned string collections
in the world. No one knows exactly what he's got or how he's got them.
There's a rumor going around that the Davidoff Strad
is hidden away somewhere in his bedroom. Supposedly, it was stolen
- from some virtuoso's Manhattan... - Who exactly is this guy?
Uh, somebody who appreciates my discretion.
Now, if you'd feel more comfortable, I can have the photos I took
sent to a colleague for a second opinion.
And I'd appreciate it if you didn't sell it in the meantime
and I'm happy to give you a ten percent deposit in good faith.
Uh...
What is the owner's name?
It's not easy for him to get to the bank, he...
Uh... He prefers cash.
Shane!
Hey, Shane!
Shane, open the door!
I'd get out of here if I were you, my mom's really pissed.
- What? - Shane, get out the way.
What the hell is goin' on?
Maybe I should ask you the same question.
Is there anything that you feel like you need to tell me?
- What are you talking about? - Um...
Anything happen at the convention that's interesting? Like...
- Did you meet a woman? - Oh, God. You've been...
You've been talkin' to Judy Vandenhoevel.
She's... she's full of crap.
That woman she's talking about happens to be a customer.
Um, the assistant manager was kind enough to send us this.
And I don't even wanna think about how your customer's earring
- ended up in your hotel room. - That... She...
- You know, nothing happened.
Come on, Jo Ann. I was robbed!
I want you gone.
I mean it this time.
Oh, hey. Wow. You're here late.
I was just swingin' by to drop off some of these policy forms for you to sign.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Thank you.
I actually, uh... you don't have to drive all the way out here for these.
You can always just... fake my signature,
and that way you can turn 'em in to the home office yourself.
Oh, hey. I wanted to tell ya,
I had a terrific meeting with the manager over at Jimmy's Wholesale.
And I bumped into Gorvy and Frank, they were buying groceries.
You know, I didn't realize that Gorvy had actually
gone ahead and bought himself a policy.
Oh, yeah. Just a small little package.
I'll let you know when the commission comes in. It's nothing.
Oh, well, you know, I was just happy he got himself some coverage.
You know, I was worried about him, out there, all alone.
Yeah. He's not alone. He's got a dog.
God, that dog. What am I gonna do about that dog?
You don't like him either?
Uh... His sister's sick, she had a stroke.
So he's gonna go out to Rhinelander to visit her
and he doesn't know what to do with the dog.
Oh, so the dog's gotta be sent away?
Well, I would take him, but my wife's allergic.
And it seems that Frank's gotta go on a big trip to Idaho.
- So I don't know. - I got a client who's got a kennel.
- I'll call him. - You would?
- Come on, Gorvy. You're gonna miss your bus.
They're gonna be waitin' at the kennel for Pete.
I need my lozenges.
- Yeah, you don't wanna forget those. - Yeah, yeah.
Look at him, he doesn't want to leave the violin.
- Hey, where are you goin' with that? - I'll hide it upstairs.
May I help you?
Yeah. I'm here to finish installing the security system.
I brought the other keypad the guy wanted.
No. No, I think you may have to come back. We're actually just leaving.
No, no. It'll be fine. It'll only take a second.
Gorvy? Why is there a guy down here puttin' in an alarm system?
When'd you decide to do that?
I saw your friend, Bob, at the supermarket the other day.
He said if I put in an alarm system my rates would go down.
- Why? Is he here? - Yes.
Oh.
Alarm guy, will this go right through to the police when it's hooked up?
Uh, yeah. It's connected straight to the station.
I, um... I left my screwdriver somewhere around here when I installed it...
- Thanks for your help. - Yeah, I'll set my number
by the front door in case you need it, OK?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Did we put in the numbers? - Yeah.
And once you press in the number, you got three minutes to leave the house.
OK. Now, let's come on. We got to go.
- You want me to punch it in now? - Yeah.
I have to catch a bus. Petey, come on. Come. Good dog.
Warm up the car.
Hi, we're havin' some trouble with this alarm.
Hey, there.
Hey. What's the, uh... what's the problem with the alarm?
Oh, no problem. I just need you to turn it off so I can get inside real quick.
It's OK, I'm friends with the owner.
Left some insurance paperwork in there.
Gotta turn in Mr. Hauer's policy or it'll lapse.
Oh.
- Yeah. - Huh.
You know, uh... anyone can print these up.
- N... You met me earlier. - Hm-hm.
OK. Tell you what.
Maybe it's worth, uh... extra 20.
You think I'm stupid? Just 'cause I don't have a fuckin' suit?
You businessmen. You know, I'm tryin' to run a business, too.
But I'll tell you what, this'll cover the gas
gettin' all the way back out here, so thanks.
Hey, don't act so innocent. I saw you try and steal that clock earlier.
- Excuse me? - Excuse me?
You know exactly what I'm talkin' about.
Your word against mine, motherfucker.
OK, well your fingerprints are all over that thing.
So I'll tell you what, we'll call the cops and we'll see...
Hey, we don't need the cops. Be quick about it, OK?
Yeah, I know.
Hey! Hurry up, we gotta go!
I see you found your "paperwork."
Oh, hi, uh... Somebody is here.
- Frank. What are you doin' here? - Oh...
I came over to check on the house. Make sure all the doors are locked.
Oh.
- I thought you were on a road trip. - It got delayed because of the weather.
Gorvy still here?
No, no, no. I had to... had to get him down to the bus...
...the bus station. He's good.
Who is this guy? Is everything OK?
Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. He's with me.
- No, I am not. Don't you try to... - Let me handle this.
Hey, what's goin' on here?
It's my fault, I had to go up to get these papers earlier
to get back to the office ASAP because I'm tryin' to get the place insured.
- What's in the bag there? - Oh, I knew this was not a good idea.
- No. - I'm gonna get goin', guys.
Hold on, wait a minute. You're not goin' anywhere.
I saw your van, it's got your name on it.
- Frank, take it easy. Calm down. - I'm callin' the cops.
No, no, no. Listen. No. No! No! Jesus!
I said... no... cops!
Will somebody please fucking listen to me?!
I didn't mean that. I didn't mean to kill him.
This guy...
You didn't come here for paperwork, did you? You came here to rob the joint.
And that, plus this dead guy right here, that's felony murder.
This is your fucking fault, pal. You're as guilty as me.
I am not gonna go back to jail. I am not gonna go back to jail.
I cannot go back to jail.
OK.
You're gonna keep your mouth shut or I'm gonna take you down with me.
You got it?
All right.
All right, let's think here. Let's take a second here. Let's fuckin' pause.
Would you hang up the fucking phone so I can think?!
All right! So...
...we can't just leave him here because I turned off the alarm
and the old man knows I got the code so I'm gonna be a suspect.
I got a blow torch in my van. I tell you what, we're gonna light this place up.
No, no. I know about arson investigations. Don't.
You know about arson investigations? That's not a good idea?
No? Really? You got a good idea?
No?
We could, uh...
Um... Ah! We'll dump him in a lake! You know?
I got my ice fishing gear in my van.
Lakes around here, they stay frozen until May.
By then there'll be nothin' left of the guy, right?
- Help me roll him up in the carpet. - No, he'll know it's missing.
Then start cleaning it or something. I got a, uh...
...a tent in my van. We'll wrap him up in that.
Wait, wait, wait. I gotta reset the alarm.
Close the door. Close the goddamn door.
Pop your trunk.
I don't want him oozin' all over my van. I sleep in it sometimes.
My trunk's full. He'll never fit.
Follow me, all right? We're gonna go to Antioch, I got a lake up there.
And listen, hey...
Don't try to bail on me. Remember, right, I got this, right?
Tell you what. I'm gonna hold onto your fiddle, too.
What's so special about this fuckin' thing?
It's a violin. Sentimental value.
- Snow shoes. That's how he got here. - What?
Somebody's out there. We gotta kill some time.
It's a slow sport.
Come on.
Let's go. Hey. Hey. Hey.
Let's go. Hey-ho, hey. Snap out of it, all right? You're gonna act normal.
Hey, you're actin' normal.
It's just, you know... We'll go in and get a beer.
Right? And stay away from the burgers. Curds are good, though.
So, how long before someone notices?
What? I don't know. Maybe they won't.
He was a truck driver. He was on the road a lot.
But he ain't comin' home this time, right?
I didn't realize you had been to jail.
Yeah. My cousin set me up.
Meth lab. Blew up.
I took the fall for it. Have you ever seen a meth lab blow up?
Oh... You got to. It's spectacular.
You have flames comin' out... everywhere.
Of course, I had to beat him to a bloody pulp when I got out, but...
...it's nothin' permanent.
We're good now.
Now, have... have you had the cheese curds here before?
I love 'em.
Would you like one? I have plenty.
We picked a fuckin' nice night for this. Do not just stand there, right now.
You understand? Do something. Untie him or you can dump him out
while I'm doin' some work.
Hey! Goddamn it, do not freeze up on me.
Hey, jerk. Don't go south.
There you go. Here, here! Warm up! Calm down!
Shit.
- No, no, no, no, no.
All right.
So... we can't make that bigger.
That needs to get smaller.
Got it?
And that's not gonna be a "me" job, pal. That's a "we" job.
So... time for you to man the fuck up
in your little suit there. Here, take it.
I can't. - Yes, you can.
And I guess I'm gonna start with the head maybe or the feet.
- Don't be sick here! Hey, hey, hey!
There's DNA in that shit! Go back to the fuckin' car.
Puke in your own car. Go!
- Did you hear somethin? - I'm sick.
- Thought I heard somethin'.
Hey.
- Keep your mouth shut.
Mickey, your landlord called and said your rent check bounced.
- Prohaska Agency.
Hold on.
Some locksmith said he needs to talk to you right away.
- I lost my keys. - Mickey.
The landlord's got my name as a reference. I vouched for you.
Here.
Give him that.
- OK? - OK.
Well, I'm not coming back before my class.
He's gonna charge you for that key, you know.
Hello.
Go, go! Cover him!
- Take it out! - Go, go, go!
Oh, shit!
What's going on?
I saw my van in daylight is what's going on, and it is fucked up.
You got me rolling around with somebody's blood on my floor.
I know a guy who can detail it but, you know, what am I supposed to tell him?
What? Huh?
Tell him I was cleaning fish or somethin'.
You know what? It doesn't fuckin' matter. He doesn't care.
He just wants the money, and you owe me, too.
And I need a new tent. And my Makita's all jacked up.
I gotta drive up to... fuckin' Hurley to ditch it.
Near my stepbrother's cabin, and I hate my stepbrother.
So... I need five grand from you. Right now.
I don't have that kind of cash on me.
OK. Well, I think you better get it by Monday...
...or, um...
Yeah.
OK.
Well, my secretary handles all of my finances, she obviously screwed up.
Well, I've been a card member for, like, 20-something years.
Just raise my credit limit so I can get some cash here. That's...
Can I speak to a supervisor?
OK. I'm... Karla, I'm sorry. I just... I'm desperate.
You know, it's not my fault your credit cards are all maxed.
You're the one with the gambling problem.
What are you talking about?
The $20,000 you spent at the convention.
You were in the casino the whole time, weren't you?
Shit.
I had my wallet stolen when I was up there.
She must have used my credit cards while I was asleep. Goddamn it!
You gotta help me.
I need some of that $30,000.
Come on, you gotta help me. I'm in real trouble here.
Jo Ann, I know you have it in an account.
Just get out of here, Mickey.
Hey, you know what? This is my church, too.
Jo Ann, when did you get so goddamn vindictive?
- Shh! - You know what?
I'm in real trouble here. OK?
You did it to yourself.
Right here. I just want the cash today.
- Oh. Oh, sorry, Mickey. - Today.
No, no. No, I can't take it unless it's a trade-in.
We're already overstocked in this model. Sorry.
Glen, I gotta call you back.
Yeah, no, everything's fine.
Uh-huh.
I... I don't have the money yet. I need a little more time.
Well, that's gonna be a problem.
Take the violin.
You can take it. It's worth $30,000.
Are you really gonna try to jack with me?
No. It's an important instrument, it comes from Germany.
- Oh, it's German? - Yeah.
- I didn't realize it was German. - No...
That's ama... What, do you think I'm stupid?
Look at me. Look at me. Why would I have bothered to take this thing?
Huh?
- What am I supposed to do with it? - You can sell it. You can pawn it.
Whatever. You take it, it's yours. That's yours.
But I... I work here. You can't be here. You need to go.
- $30,000? - Yeah.
You better not be screwing with me.
OK.
- Hey. - What's happenin', Bob?
I just came by, I had some of these auto policies...
- Hey, did you get my note? - I've been a little busy.
Oh, well... - Yeah?
I am glad that you got Gorvy Hauer an insurance policy.
I'm also glad that he got a security system.
- Why, what happened? - Well, apparently,
he's got a very valuable violin at home.
- He... Did he tell you that? - No, no, no.
I was... I stopped by the office a couple days ago.
A fax came in, it was marked "urgent." I left you a note about all this.
Anyway, there was an appraisal of this violin.
Figured I'd let Gorvy know as soon as I... as soon as I found out.
And, you know, his sister...
...his sister passed, which is, um... Oh, my God, rest her soul.
But this... this news certainly seemed to cheer Gorvy up a bit.
Look, I did all the paperwork. It's all taken care of.
The violin is now insured for its full value.
Oh.
- So you turned that in? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I know that you're gunning for Aruba.
So I figured, every commission, you know?
I'm, uh... I'm pickin' Gorvy up tomorrow at the bus station.
He's comin' back home. I can't wait to get a look at that violin.
I'll get him. I wanna congratulate him.
- Really? You sure? - Yeah, I got it.
- What time's he get in? Good. - He gets in around three.
God, can you imagine? Lookin' in your attic and findin' a violin
worth a million dollars?
- A million dollars? What do you mean? - A million point two-five.
That's what the appraisal put the market value at.
What happened? You told me it was worth $30,000.
Yeah, well, it's a good thing you asked for a second opinion.
I sent the photos I took to a colleague in London.
He's a leading authority on Stainer. He's cited extensively
throughout that book that I lent you.
Your violin dates back to the early 1600s.
- It's an original. It's not a copy. - You should've called me immediately.
Of course. I tried. No one answered, so I sent you a fax.
My collector's in Europe. He'll be back in a couple of weeks
and he is prepared to pay you the full appraisal.
It's not for sale.
- The owner changed his mind. - I gave you a security deposit
- in good faith. - Yeah.
- Karla, can I get a check? - We have a deal. You agreed.
Karla!
What's he gonna do with it?
- What's gonna happen? - I don't really know.
- Well, I can talk to him. - Thank you.
I'll explain. You tell him to talk to me and I'll explain.
- I have to get going. - If you think you're gonna sell this
thing on your own, you are sadly mistaken.
It's a cloistered world.
- I'd like my book back. - Here.
Mickey. Mickey, guess what? I have a famous violin.
I stopped by the bus station to pick you up, but I missed ya.
Oh, yeah, yeah. It was early. Bob came and picked me up.
- Oh. Did Bob see the violin? - Well, he saw it,
- but I didn't let him touch it. - OK, that's very smart.
- You shouldn't let anybody touch it. - Yeah.
I wouldn't even let anybody see the thing
- because you can't trust people, Gorvy. - No, no.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Nobody can be trusted. Understand?
Look what Bob gave me, a book about my violin and the man who made it.
It's from Vienna, a long, long time ago, in Austria.
Oh, I want so much to go there, now that I have seen this book.
You know...
...when my sister died, there was nothing in the papers.
There was two numbers, birth and death.
Now, when I die, they will say something about me.
They'll say I have a famous violin.
- That you kept to yourself. - Yeah.
And you didn't show it to anybody.
You need to stop spending time with Gorvy Hauer.
We're salesmen. We're not professional visitors.
Sorry. You're right, you're right.
I just... I saw an opportunity that might benefit him and us, you know?
I mean, why let that violin just sit in his house?
Why not let other people enjoy it, like maybe a soloist or a museum?
I mean... and, look, the good... thank you.
The good news is that Gorvy is actually willing to pay the additional fee
- for the travel rider. - You've talked to him about this?
About, uh... loaning out that...
- About the violin? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I joined the Kiwanis, like we talked about.
I meet a guy who's a member of the local philharmonic.
Now, I'm sure that he knows a bunch of other musicians
who all have valuable instruments that we could insure.
- It could be a whole new market. - No. No, no, no.
Bob, I can't... No. I...
I have to let you go.
You, uh... That's it.
That's what I brought you here for.
One of my top sales guys, he wants your territory and, uh...
...I don't know what to tell him. I mean, he's... he wants it.
You're firing me? I...
I left another job to... to come work with you.
- Yeah. - I mean, I thought I was
actually doing a pretty good job, too.
Yeah, I know. It's the damndest thing. I mean, it's, uh...
I don't know. I don't know what to do, he's been with me a long time.
That's pretty unexpected. I...
I don't know what I'm gonna tell my wife.
Well, look, I'll be happy to write you a recommendation. OK?
I'm sure Phil Peters would be happy to have you back on board.
- Thanks, Mickey. Thank you. - Yeah.
I'd like to stay in touch. And I'd like to hear about Gorvy and his violin.
I actually sent someone out today to see if they could loan it out.
Gorvy?
- I thought you were my friend. - What's wrong? What's the matter?
I am your friend.
A man came to look at the violin.
He says it's not old, it's not from Austria.
It's from China, from some factory.
He could tell by looking at size of holes.
- Oh. - I paid good money for insurance policy.
Now Bob tells me I have to pay even more.
Bob's gone. I let him go.
OK? And you're gonna get a full refund on your premium.
We were gonna go to Europe, me and Petey.
We were gonna show this to famous people, let them play it.
Now we can't go anywhere.
Well, you can still play it for Petey.
Right? I mean, he loves that thing. Pete.
- Petey, Pete. Hey.
- Get over... - He carried it around like a stick,
now he won't even look at it.
- Petey, come, come. - Come on.
Wait... Oh.
No, no.
There's no teeth marks in this.
No teeth marks. Petey has big teeth. He would leave teeth marks in this.
And there's none.
I don't think this is my violin.
- He... he's gotta go outside.
Someone took my violin while I was gone.
They took my clock, too.
Gorvy, you're... you're watching too much TV.
I'm going outside to wait for the police.
- The police, what? - Yeah, they're on their way.
My dog is gone! He's loose!
- Afternoon, sir. - Hi.
Listen, I just got a call on the radio
that you had some kind of theft out here.
Excuse me, is this, uh... is this the violin he called us about?
Uh... What did... what did he say?
Uh, according to Mr. Hauer, this one...
...this one is not his.
Apparently, the one he owns is quote unquote, "famous."
Well, I don't know anything about that. He's pretty old.
Well, I don't either, but, uh... I have to take this back to the station with me.
So, uh... did you or did he see any signs of forced entry?
- No. - Or was there anything else missing?
- No, he's... - Uh, anything else out of place?
- No? - He's... he's, uh...
Doesn't even lock the doors here.
Well, I see he got a security system, though.
Yeah, he never sets it. He's a pretty congenial guy.
- People come and go here. - OK.
He's... a nice, old fella.
- And you are? - Mickey Prohaska.
I'm a friend of the family, actually.
He, uh... Give you my card. He'd probably wanna run this thing through me.
- He's pretty senile. - Prohaska... insurance?
Sorry to bother you with this.
- Yes. Yes. - Yeah?
And you're family? You're related?
Yes. I'm, uh... not blood family,
- but, you know, like family. - OK.
Doggy, come home, doggy.
- Gorvy? - Come home, doggy.
My doggy's gone. Now I lost everything.
When is the police gonna get here?
- They left. - Call 'em back!
- They need to help me find Petey. - No, they can't help you.
- Why not? - I'll help you.
It's going to be 20 below tonight.
Too cold for Petey.
You never liked him, did you?
You should've been more careful!
Pull over here. They know me here.
Frank gets gasoline here sometimes. I will give them a picture of Petey.
The cops aren't gonna be as invested in finding this thief
as our company is.
This trucker's probably our best lead.
Well, it makes a lot of sense. I mean, this Frank guy was way too interested
in everything out at this farmer's house.
And how much it was worth and he had the keys.
We had a tough time gettin' a hold of the owner, even by phone. It's busy.
They finally got through and got a recorded statement from him.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, it really didn't add a lot.
- I think the guy is really sick. - Sign this.
Get in the fucking car!
- I said no cops, didn't I? - I had to.
They found out about the violin.
I know they found out about the violin, 'cause I got a message from the old man
who wants a refund on his security system, because he said it didn't go off
when he was robbed.
Didn't you tell me that no one would fucking notice the violin was gone?
He got suspicious when he couldn't find his clock.
- It was my mom's birthday - OK.
Do you understand that?
You're not tryin' to pin this on me, are you?
Hey! You're not tryin' to pin this on me, are you?
- No, no. They think it's Frank Richie. - Who?
That's the man you killed.
That's the guy.
That's why I went in to talk to 'em. I had to!
- I was tryin' to convince them! Wait.
- What are you doin? - Wait.
- Are you fucking kidding me? - What?
You said no one would be looking for the guy!
Nobody would give a shit about him!
That's what we had going for us! Now everybody's gonna be looking for him!
What is wrong with you?
You told me nobody would give a shit about him!
God! And nobody would care about the fuckin' violin, either.
Right now, everybody's looking for the violin.
Why is everybody looking for the violin?
- I don't know. - You're not lyin' to me
about how much it's worth, are you? Huh? Look at me, look at me. Is it $100,000?
- How much is this fucking thing worth?! - A million.
- What did you say? - A million.
That's a million dollar violin?
Holy shit.
I couldn't even get 500 bucks for it. Um...
Who... who were you plannin' on sellin' it to?
I'm done with this. OK? I don't know! I don't know anything about violins!
I was... I was gonna have a dealer in Chicago sell it, but...
What are you doin?
- Goin' to Chicago to see this dealer. - No, no, no. He's by appointment only.
- I'm not even sure if he's there. - I want to sell this fucking thing
- tonight! - No! He's not gonna help us.
It's stolen!
I don't even know who he was gonna sell it to.
Oh, yeah? Well, you got a 90 minute ride to figure it out.
And I still got that picture, jerk.
You would never make it in jail.
- Which one, down here? - Here.
Look, he's not there.
I don't give a fuck. We're goin' inside, my friend.
Get back. Back, back, back, back, back, back.
Chill out.
See? There we go. After you, asshole.
Now look, you go find the fuckin' number or I will sit in the corner
and I will wait here all night long.
And when he comes back in, then I will get the number out of him.
He was, uh... he was on the... He was on the phone...
Work it out. Find it.
...talkin' to a guy. A guy who owns stolen violins.
He stuck the number in a book.
This is pretty neat, though, huh? Look at that.
There's some shit in here.
That's it, Stoller. That's it.
Get the hell outta here. You can call him tomorrow. Here's the number.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Me call? I'm not your fuckin' secretary.
You're gonna make the phone call. I'm not havin' it traced to my phone.
And guess what? When you set this thing up, you're gonna be the one
makin' the handoff. Because thanks to you, it's not just a hot violin,
you went and attached it to a fucking dead guy.
Mr. Stoller, please.
I see. Do you have any estimation as to when he'll be back in the States?
Yeah. No, no message. Thank you.
- Hey, Glen. What's goin' on? - Mickey.
Frank Richie's dead.
They find, uh... they found him... they found him?
Yeah. In a cemetery.
We ran the Social Security number he gave on the lease application.
Turns out it belongs to a guy who died 12 years ago.
Yeah. Looks like our suspect is... Well, he's been using somebody else's name.
Are you kidding me? There you go.
- Can you believe it? That's it, right?
What more proof do you need than that?
Obviously. Why else would the guy be using somebody else's name?
You know? Must be some sort of professional drifter or something.
I don't know how professional he is. Glen said he stuck a photocopied label
on the inside of a cheap violin and rubbed it with shoe polish.
Yeah, the expert in Chicago confirmed it wasn't the one he'd had appraised.
There was a store label on the inside underneath what is called the, uh...
- ...F hole.
There's a call for you on line one, he says it's urgent.
- Tell him... - Told him you were in a meeting, but...
- Hey, go ahead. You can take it. - You can take it here.
Go ahead.
- Hello? - Yeah, fucking hello!
- We got a problem over here... - Yeah.
No, I'm here with some people right now.
I don't... Get your ass over here!
- Just... maybe I can call you back. - No!
- All right, I'll see you there. - I am losing my fucking shit over here!
- Hm-hm. - I'm about to freak the fuck out!
What happened?
Huh? Why couldn't you make the deal?
He's on a ship somewhere.
His secretary said to call back in a few weeks.
Oh, my God. You are just... exhausting.
A few weeks. Oh.
Can I show you something? Do you see that ice out there?
It's not pancake ice any more, it's honeycombed. It's melting too fast.
Do you understand that? Pretty soon our suspect, or what's left of him,
is gonna come ﬂoating to the top, and when that happens
somebody is gonna put two and two together.
We have gotta sell that violin before that happens.
I need that fucking money, I have got to get out of town!
I am not going back to jail.
And until that happens I'm not leaving town, you understand?
I'll be watching your every move.
Make it happen.
I talked to someone at the hotel you stayed in at the convention,
they said your credit cards were used to buy a bunch of traveler's checks.
Ah-ha. I found a footprint. And it wasn't Frank's, it was fancy.
Frank wears boots. I have to go now and tell the police what I discovered.
Mickey? I have some forms for you to sign.
Glen just faxed them over for the violin payout.
My company's gonna honor your claim.
They found my violin?
No. But they're gonna compensate you for it.
I'm having all the money wired into your account.
I don't want money. I want my violin.
But you want to go to Europe.
And you can't do that with a violin, Gorvy.
But you can do that with money, and now you have it. And I...
I can't go nowhere. What if my doggy comes back?
I, uh... I wanted to talk to you about that.
I, uh... I found him on the side of the road.
- He was... he was dead. - What?
He had been hit by another car. I'm having him cremated...
- Oh, my God. - ...so that you can take him with you.
They left my doggy on the side of the road?
What's wrong with people these days? How can they do what they do?
It used to be you could trust people.
You could leave your door open in the middle of the night and now,
they kill your doggy.
You were right, Mickey.
You can't trust nobody any more.
Mr. Stoller, please.
This is Frank Richie. I think I have something you may want.
Yes.
OK.
Of course. But it will have to be cash.
I talked to Stoller, OK? It's on. His train gets in at 2:55.
The 2:55 to St. Louis with stops in Champaign-Urbana,
now boarding platform 15. All aboard.
Excuse me, do you have the time?
2:50.
The 3:15 to O'Hare now boarding platform 18.
All aboard.
Was that him? Huh? What were you talkin' about? Why did he leave?
Huh?
The 3:45 with express service to Cedar Rapids
Oh, no, no, no, no.
All right, it's over. It's over.
Just leave the bag. Get up. Get up and go, go. Stay calm, though.
Hello? Hello, excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me, sir!
Sorry. You forgot your bag.
You're welcome.
Wait!
- Take it. Take it! - I don't want it!
You understand? I don't want it! It's tied to a fucking murder!
Do you understand that? It's a hot potato!
- Are you an idiot? Get away from me! - I want that photograph. Hey!
Please.
All right. Here you go, look.
OK? Got it? And we never met, none of this ever happened.
You do not even know my fucking name, you got it?
One thing folks in the insurance business know,
you can't put a price tag on peace of mind.
What starts out lookin' like an easy score
can turn out to be anything but simple.
Sure, you might get lucky. You could end up striking gold.
Just not in the way you bargained for.
- Can I help you with somethin"? - I was just hereto see Gorvy Hauer.
- He must still be outta town. - Well, I'm Gorvy Hauer.
What can I do for ya?
- No. We never rent the place out. - No.
Say, I've got a little Danish if you'd like some.
- Cup of coffee? - No.
- You sure? - We've lived in this house 28 years.
- Twenty-nine. - Twenty-nine.
- We never had any problems. Well...
Except that time when we came back from Florida and the pipes were frozen.
Yeah. We forgot to leave a little heat on.
- Have to leave a little heat on. - But we're gone all winter.
We're snow birds.
You know the insurance company never gave... We had to wait six months
- before we got any money from them. - That's right.
Would you be able to check on a policy? Maybe we could switch over. Um...
Save us some money, maybe, on, uh... something like that?
- Yeah. I'll get back to you. - OK, great.
Hey. I'm looking for a guy that's been in here before.
About this tall, dark hair.
A little wiry. He was sittin' right over here with me the day of the blizzard.
He got a name?
- I'm not really sure. - You got anything to eat here?
We just have fries, onion rings and cheese curds.
You don't serve burgers here? Steaks? Brats?
Why would you get a meat delivery?
We wouldn't. We just got a fire back here.
In the time it took to knock back a drink,
a dead man came back to life.
Remember, I said to believe only half of what you see?
Here.
- Drink up, buddy. - Well, they had to make sure
the other half wouldn't be seen at all.
But let me back up.
- First, they had to hook the guy. - Oh, look. I do have a violin.
And then there was the blackmail they developed
just to make sure their lead would be followed.
And they timed it out perfectly.
Mickey, I have some forms for you to sign.
Once they got what they wanted, the next step was the blow-off.
Excuse me, do you have the time?
Oldest opening line in the book.
Remember? Never fails to get someone's attention.
When a guy is spooked that bad, he feels lucky just to walk away.
I need to find out about an account that was opened up here.
- Hi. I'll take this one, Anna. - Hi.
We're still finding pennies in the strangest places.
But don't worry, we're adding them to your account, Mr. Hauer.
The old man made sure to stay on the sidelines and let somebody else
get stuck holding the bag, literally.
They needed an agent to push the claim through
and take the fall if their scam was discovered.
You could say he was their insurance policy.
And I'm here doing work.
I've been recycling. Look what almost got thrown out.
A violin label. I got a call about the traveler's checks
that were bought with your credit cards.
They were able to trace the serial numbers and they were deposited
in a bank in Burlington.
They opened the account that paid the premium on this policy, right?
I know what you're thinking, Karla, and it's not what it looks like.
I thought that Golden Harvest sounded familiar.
It was who the big payout went to for the violin, wasn't it?
I was duped by this...
...this Gorvy Hauer son of a bitch!
If that's even his name!
- No, his name is Mickey Prohaska. - No.
You took out insurance in someone else's name
on a violin that, hm... conveniently went missing.
Karla, you gotta believe me.
Why? You lie all the time.
You're good, Mickey.
Winning little awards.
Building your reputation at the company so your word there would be credible.
All to make this one big payout seem legit.
Where are you hiding the money, Mickey?
You can't just make $1,000,000 disappear.
But they did. They bought something that couldn't be traced.
There's a lot of money in corn, Mickey. It's worth its weight in gold.
Feed corn.
Once the insurance settlement hit the bank,
it was wired out to a dozen grain elevators
and sold to farmers in amounts under $10,000.
Money laundering. Midwestern style.
The entire operation was financed with some credit cards
that were temporarily borrowed by one of their bit players.
Everyone deserves a nice little getaway, don't they?
Especially after a job well done.
Even the goddamn dog.
How do you like that?
A dog that was never lost, sought by a man who didn't exist.
Come here. Let me have five bucks worth of tickets for tonight's lottery
and a pack of Winston's, please.
At least not in the form of an absent-minded farmer.
Odds are, he was the brains behind it all.
This guy's on a serious losing streak.
If you expect me to keep quiet, Mickey,
you're gonna have to give me your car.
Or I'm gonna call Glen.
I'm about to take my state licensing exam.
I can't make sales calls in this piece of shit.
I should have let you quit when I had the chance.
I'm done with the insurance business, Glen.
What are you gonna do?
Head south.
I've had it with these goddamn winters.
Hey, Phil.
Hey.
Never got a chance to congratulate you on that sales award.
- Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot. - I'm sure you'll take top prize again
in Aruba, even without Bob Egan.
Who?
Bob. The guy from the convention. You were gonna hire him.
I wasn't gonna hire anybody there. I got six guys working for me already.
Turns out there was a top salesman even better than Phil Peters.
Hey, just wanted to say, love the suit.
- Oh, thanks. Thanks. - All right, take care.
He was the roper. But that wasn't his only role.
Hey, that's a nice car. It's easy to spot.
He was also the tail.
He knew when the office would be empty and he had full access
to all the amenities inside.
The entire time, he slipped by unnoticed.
One and a quarter million dollars. Not a bad severance package.
Even if it was split five ways. That's right.
Remember the good faith deposit?
It's what's known in a scam as the convincer.
A little taste of bigger riches to come.
For a desperate sucker, it's the ultimate form of persuasion.
How much did they pay you?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
- This is private property and I'm... - How much did they pay you?
You think I'm not gonna fuckin' turn you in for tryin' to pass off a fake violin
- to an insurance company? - 'Cause I don't think
you'd get anywhere with that. I gave you an appraisal, not a contract.
An appraisal's considered an opinion. I gave you my opinion.
Now it's gone and nobody knows where it is.
And there's a lot of corruption out there.
So the violin was worthless from the beginning?
Beware of anything with strings attached.
- Yeah, my friend got duped. - Ah, poor bastard.
- Whatever happened to him? - Luckily, he made a clean start.
- Got away to someplace warm. - Yeah, well, don't tell me about weather.
- I'm from Chicago. - Oh.
We got nine months of winter and then three months of hell.
Too bad they stuck you at this place. Nickel and dime you to death.
Yeah, tell me about it. Six bucks for a beer.
Wait till you see the bill. They tack on a resort fee.
All for a tiny room, paper-thin walls and a rock-hard mattress.
Might as well be sleepin' in a cardboard box.
Right.
You know, I know a place just a couple miles down the road.
Take a look at that.
- What is this, a time share? - It's an opportunity.
Own a little piece of the sunshine state.
I can probably get you into an all-you-can-eat buffet for free
just by comin' by. - I'm flyin' back home tomorrow.
- What time's your ﬂight? - 4:30.
Oh! Terrific. They're gonna make you check out of the room at noon.
I'll pick you up, take you over there myself.
- I don't know. - You gotta eat.
I mean, this restaurant will charge you an arm and a leg.
Sure.
- What the hell. - OK.
All right, I'll pick you up in the lobby at 11:00...
- Jerry. - Jerry.
- I'm gonna take this. - Yeah.
Excuse me, do you happen to have the time?