Baby, I' m so lonely
Come on, hold me tight
Baby, been so lonely
I know this feelin' just ain't right
No
So won't you come on over, baby
Don't leave me lonely here tonight
Babe, I took my chances
On your broken heart
Yeah, I took my chances
I knew the price right from the start
I did
But when you told me you don't love me
You just 'bout tore my heart apart
Whoo
Now to get you back, girl
I'd walk around the world
Yeah, to get you back, child
I'd buy you diamonds, gold and pearl
Yes, I would
And if you tell me that you want me
I'll make you proud to be my girl
Now I' m not so lonely, lonely no more
No, I' m not lonely
Because it's me that you adore
Yeah
I'd give my life to keep you happy...
- Spare any change? - Oh!
Sorry, no, I' m not carrying any change.
I need to get somethin' to eat, man.
Please.
Okay. You know what?
Just... Just... Just, uh, wait here
- and I'll bring you somethin', um... - Yeah.
Sure, man.
I'll be in my office.
Name is Sammy.
No, mom, you don't get to meet her.
Trust me on this one, you wouldn't like her.
No, she's not a hooker.
But she fucks like one.
Dirtiest, nastiest, most mind-bending sex imaginable.
That answer your question?
I'll bet it does.
What's the matter with you?
I just think it's funny, you gettin' shit from your mom.
Yeah, it's funny.
As opposed to what?
Being two totally repressed white suburban freaks, such as yourselves?
I mean, uh, who do you think you're kiddin' here?
Got shoe polish, dental floss...
Plus whacking material
Hmm.
Like you guys came in here for this other shit and not just the magazine.
Hmm?
Tell you what.
Take this shit, put it back.
Come on back up here, pay for your erection collection,
and then get the fuck outta here, okay?
I'll sell you the magazine, but I'm not gonna sell you the other shit.
You want to know why? Because it's a lie.
And I'm all about the truth.
Right there. See? Okay, go ahead.
Go.
''To thine own self be true.''
Nietzsche said that.
Actually, I think it was Shakespeare.
Same thing, Harry. Huh?
Can you believe that shit?
What have ya got?
Uh, I went with a hot dog tonight.
Surprise, surprise.
Scary, huh?
I mean, not that this neighborhood was ever really that safe,
but that shit is wack.
Word.
Careful out there, something's just not right.
- Yeah. - Enjoy your dog.
Take it easy.
Hey, Sammy?
You in there?
Okay, if you're trying to freak me out,
it's working.
Okay, I'm just gonna leave this here.
Come get it whenever you're ready.
Shit!
So you actually saw the head get ripped off?
Yeah.
Right before you fainted?
I hyperventilated. There's a difference.
I will call you if I have any more questions, Mr. Balbo.
Uh...
You believe me, don't you?
A beautiful female with fangs leaps up three stories and crashes through a window,
carrying the head of a homeless man...
Then disappears into the night. Got it.
Call me if you remember anything else.
Three pages of coverage.
No mention of you.
I'm telling you, I was there.
- Was she hot? - Amazingly.
Sort of, um...
Wild.
Almost feral
- Feral - Uh...
Li-li-like a wild animal Just...
Sounds to me like somebody's been jackin' off again.
Don't be an asshole.
Look, I saw the guy.
I bought a hot dog for him at the convenience store.
I'm the one that called the cops.
Then why doesn't it say that?
It says here that they got a tip from an anonymous caller.
If you were the one that found the dead body,
then why doesn't it say that?
I don't know.
You don't know?
He doesn't know. I do.
It's because you're full of shit.
You probably saw the commotion.
Figured you'd make up a story to try to impress us.
Make us your friends.
I'll never be your friend, Balbo.
Things an asshole might say.
Nah, nah, thing...
Things a douche bag might blurt out.
- Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. - You know what?
Why don't you go out to the loading dock?
Tryto convince one of those neanderthal of your story.
I'm sure one of those guys will believe you.
I don't.
Uh, you know what?
I have to pee.
I'm just gonna pee.
Good luck.
You're a dick.
Uh...
Isn't this a no-smoking area?
Call a cop.
Homicide gets a buy, one of the few perks.
Coroners too, but they never use it.
So why are we having this conversation?
I saw the paper this morning, and...
And I didn't see any mention of, uh...
Worried about missing out on your 15 minutes of fame?
No, sir, I just expected to see
something about the girl
I did you a favor, Mr. Balbo.
If the media caught wind of you claiming you saw a vampire,
they would turn your world into a circus,
and every wacko in the country would be camping outside your door.
See this?
His head was torn from his body.
Show me a woman who could do that.
An average bodybuilder couldn't do that.
I have a theory about that.
Severe trauma to the head and neck,
that conceal the bite wound,
So, cops... I mean, uh, no offense to you...
Then they go looking for hulking male psychopaths instead of the real killer.
That... that's where that's at, so...
I've alo got a theory, you want to hear it?
You're a fucking nut job.
So you're... You...
I'm saying your statement indicates what you believe you saw,
even though it's impossible.
Usuallythat means someone's lying and I found my guy.
But when you've been through this drill
as manytimes as I have, you get a feel for it.
When ever I meet a witness, I do a mental triage.
I ask myself...
''Am I talking to the killer?
Yes? No? Maybe? ''
And I'm no...
Mmm.
So what you're really saying is I don't have
enough of whatever it takes to be a killer.
That's right.
And if I was you, I'd consider myself lucky.
$7.22.
Uh, yeah.
Weird how the police say they don't have any leads.
I mean, you saw who did it, right?
I don't know.
Thought you said it was a chick.
Yeah, I'm not sure.
You know, it was dark and sudden, so...
You look tired.
You gettin' enough sleep?
This new girlfriend I got, she's killin' me.
She got a sister?
Serious, look at me.
Got this shittyjob and my crummy little apartment,
and we don't talk.
I don't send flowers and she doesn't seem to care.
- All she wants is sex. - Uh...
It's like she needs it to breathe.
What's, uh, what's...
What's with that?
This? I don't know. Had it for a couple days.
I don't remember.
Maybe you should get that looked at.
I figure I'm just run-down.
Anemic or somethin'.
So you... You still at the Roosevelt,
the place with all those old -fashioned fire escapes?
Yeah, why?
Uh, my cable goes out, maybe I'll climb up there
with some nachos and a six pack and just pick up some pointers.
- Get outta here. - Not really.
Search vampires...
No, female vam...
Female.
''Most lore agrees that vampires evolved from the succubus,
''a female demon who visited men at night
''performing sexual acts on their victims,
draining them of their life force.''
''Victims of succubae generally appeared pale and listless,
their condition gradually worsening until they died.''
Huh.
Oh, shit.
Shit.
Loper: His head was torn from his body.
This new girlfriend, Harry, she's killin' me.
Ronnie you know, the funny thing is,
I don't remember.
There's no such thing as vampires.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Harry, yes ma'am.
But the inside diameter of the flange needs to match that of the pipe.
Thank you, Tina.
So the flange bore diameter
needs to be specified when...
Ma'am? Ma'am? Hello?
Hello?
Love the face, Balbo.
What were you doin'?
Diggin' really hard in your nose
and your finger slip?
What's the matter, Balbo?
No clever comeback?
No desire to engage in witty repartee, huh?
Too worn out from rough sex last night?
Is that it?
Hey, Chet.
Know why that scratch is on his face?
No, Javi, but, uh, I bet you're about to tell us.
I am. Because...
You can claw your own face,
but you can't claw your own back.
There was another killing in your neighborhood last night.
A convenience store clerk named Ronnie Klein.
What?
What, did you know him?
Yeah. I mean, he...
Uh, just, you know, from the store.
Hmm. You think it was your blood-sucking, little dime-piece that killed him?
Yeah, I do.
Oh.
Okay, Balbo.
Okay.
Loper.
Harry, Detective, this is Harry Balbo.
Look, you... You guys gotta do somethin' about this.
You're the police.
You should at least have me come down there
and look at mug shots or something.
I mean, let's face it...
Nobody's safe as long as she's out there.
Somebody's gotta do something.
Somebody's gotta believe me.
Listen, we've been over this, Mr. Balbo.
Please, have a good day.
''There's a vampire killing in my neighborhood.
''Nobody believes me...
And I don't know what to do.''
- Cyndi. - Hi, Harry.
Um, I hate to bother you, but...
Garbage disposal's froze again.
Yeah.
Trying to get the landlord to replace it,
but, um, I think he's just waitin' for it to die.
Um, cheap bastard.
No, I'm sorry.
It's not your fault. Um, I'll just sign off.
Sure.
Just... Just give me a sec.
I'm just gonna respond to an e-mail
Sure.
Just come on over when you're done.
Okay.
You just shove it in and out and it loosens it up.
I tried just like you said, but it doesn't work for me.
It's true, she tries, but it never seems to work,
and then she gets this look on herface...
''I need Harry to come over here
and shove it in and out.''
Harry, why don't you stay for dinner?
You've fixed that garbage disposal
half a dozen times.
The least I can do is feed you.
Yeah, I would.
I'm just doin' something right now, so...
Oh, right... the e-mail thing.
Yeah, but next time.
Sure.
He is such a loser.
''You sound like a pervert
looking for interactive vampire role playing.''
No, not a pervert.
''I'm not a pervert.''
''There's a vampire
killing people in my neighbor-neighborhood.''
I before E except after C.
Neighborhood.
Come on.
''She scratched my face.
She even tasted my blood.''
Well?
Well, at least you believe me.
Okay.
''What am I supposed to do? ''
No.
That's murder.
''I won't do it.''
''Once a vampire's tasted the blood of any man, woman, or child...
''With that person
''over and over again,
drain every drop of life.''
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit.
Come on, you...
You've got to help me.
Come on.
Come on, I'll do, uh...
''I'll do anything you want.''
Why the hell not?!
''Why...
The hell not? ''
Oh, great.
The only person that can help me is a fucking cripple.
No.
''How will I find her? ''
''Am... ''
A map of the exact location. ''Be ver... ''
What do you think about that?
Because I' m thirsty, my friend.
Hey, how are you?
Oh.
Always a parenthetical
What's that, buddy?
It's always a parenthetical
''Flange man of the year,''
parenthesis, ''region four.''
Why can't it just be ''flange man of the year? ''
Well, what about all the other regions?
I mean, if it wasn't forthe parentheses, there'd only be one, period.
You know, like, some guy down in Texas, probably.
You know, where there's all that oil and gas drilling?
Now, with the parentheses, that allows us to compete, too.
Not just a hat rack, Har.
Not just a hat rack, Harry.
My life's fucking pathetic.
Yeah, this is, uh, Strickland in apartment 3-D.
I got a toilet backing up and dumpin' shit all over my floor.
So, unless you're planning on swapping your place for mine,
better get your ass up here and fix this.
Strickland: Who is it?
Uh, it's the super.
Bend down.
What?
Bend down so I can see you.
Ah.
Is that... Is that good?
I called this morning. 10:00 a.m.
Yeah, I don't do this uh... Uh, full-time.
I don't even get paid, just the break on my rent.
You know, so...
So you work out of your apartment?
In a manner of speaking.
Can I ask what you do?
You just did.
And no, you can't.
Right.
Um, should I, uh...
- Back there. - Okay.
Dispatcher: We have a complaint in apartment 18-C,
like in Charlie.
Uh...
I actually can't handle that.
I'm gonna have to call a professional
You're not...
Are you the guy with the website?
What are you...
What... What are you doing?
Who the fuck sent you?
Nobody! Nobody.
You sent me. You.
I'm... I'm Harry. Harry Balbo.
I'm the one that saw the vampire...
The one, well... that's killing people.
Ah!
Ow, ow. Ow.
Ow.
Well, wha... Wha... What are you...
What are you looking for?
Bite marks.
No.
I can't believe, uh, you... You... You're here in my building.
I mean, what, uh... What are the odds?
Impossible to one.
That's why chance has got nothin' to do with it.
When it happens like this,
it's fate.
Strickland: I'm currently tracking nine known vampires.
They gravitate toward urban areas.
Hence the maps.
There's one in London, Prague,
Kiev, Jakarta, Rio...
New York, Los Angeles.
Our newest friend set up housekeeping here about two months ago.
At first I was worried she was here for me,
somehow found out about all this.
So, what's all this?
Geographic profiling.
It's a computer model created to track serial killers.
A complex algorithm designed to map the most likely area
of an unidentified killer's dwelling place.
Well, I don't see how this applies to vampires, uh...
Well, what are vampires?
They're serial killers.
They prey on human beings.
They haunt where they're most likely to find suitable victims.
But as theytravel to and from their resting place,
they form an awareness region...
Part of a larger mental map of the city based on experience,
and that's important because they only hunt in areas where they feel safe.
So...
So they form patterns without realizing it.
Uh...
They don't kill right outside their front door.
That would be too obvious.
But travel times from their resting place to their hunting zones
tends to be remarkably consistent.
If they travel for an hour before starting their hunting routine tonight,
odds are they'll do it the same tomorrow.
So, you're telling me that vampires have a routine? They're...
Well, predators are creatures of habit.
In fact, this model originated from a study of lion behavior
where researchers noticed that they never kill
within a certain range of their resting place.
And in most cases,
vampires are easier to track than serial killers.
Why is that?
Well, they rarely drive,
and they have to be home by dawn.
Oh, yeah.
This map quantifies relative probability
of any particular location being the killer's place of residence.
The red areas are the highest probability.
Well, that's... That's half the damn city.
Yeah... not enough data points.
These marks are confirmed kills.
Well, you're missing Sammy right off Sepulveda,
and Ronnie Klein right there.
I knew it! Cops.
Kept any mention of the detail off the radio.
Probably wanted to keep it from the press.
Probably.
My problem is I can't hack into the L.A. County coroner's computer system.
It's completely stand-alone.
Well, trust me. That was her.
All right then.
I'll input this information into the model, and with any luck,
we'll reduce the search area into something manageable, so you can find her.
So, uh...
How... How long?
Till she comes after you? Anybody's guess.
No, how... How... How long till the map is ready?
F.B.I. Number crunching computer, kick it out in ten minutes.
Shit I got here,
day or two if we're lucky.
You mind if I ask you a question?
Yeah?
Why the website?
It's, uh, how I collect my data.
Look for potential hunters.
People who have survived a near encounter with a vampire
desperately go looking for help.
Generally, only those who are already in danger, like yourself,
are willing to do what's necessary to survive.
And how often do they succeed?
Assuming proper attitude, planning and germination...
almost never.
Bummer.
Yeah, bummer.
Javi: How do you get a last name like Balbo?
It's kind of a tradition.
Everybody in my family has the same last name.
Mmm.
You should change it.
Why?
Because...
It's a permanent handicap for gettin' laid.
I mean, can you imagine?
''Oh, Balbo, right there.
''Oh, Balbo, harder.
Oh, yeah, Balbo.''
Can you imagine a chick screaming that
in the throes of a full-throat orgasm?
No, probably not.
What's wrong with you?
It's called the truth, Chet.
And if he can't handle it, that's his problem.
I'm trying to help the kid. Come on, let's face it...
Balbo couldn't get laid in a women's prison
with a fistful of pardons.
I know.
Stupid.
I got your message.
Strickland: The map's ready.
I ruled out all residential buildings, vacant lots.
These are the properties that are left.
There... There's... There's hundreds of'em.
227.
Some are as big as a football field...
Or bigger.
So, I cross-indexed them with the tax records,
buildings with property tax
delinquent 12 months or more.
Kind of places that nobody cares about.
Most likely to be abandoned.
That leaves us with...
These 12 structures.
That's your target area.
Just remember... Everytime you walk into one of these places,
you've got a 1 in 12 chance of finding a vampire.
Here.
Uh, you... l- -I' m not much of a drinker, so...
Not yet.
That's what she's gotta look like when you're done.
L... I can't do that, you know, that's...
That's the kind of thing that changes you forever.
- L- -l- - - Your life changed forever
the instant you laid eyes on her.
Chet: American Flange, holding yourworld together.
How can I help you?
Chet, I feel really shitty.
I'm not sure if it's something I ate or what.
Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, buddy.
Don't worry, I'll cover for you.
Okay. Thanks.
I really appreciate it, I'll see you tomorrow.
All right, buddy.
Find everything you need or...
No, sir.
I alo need some sort of a knife,
something big and, uh, sharp and... And h...
And heavy- -Or a cleaver.
Uh, I think I can do that, um...
Please... Don't.
I'm sorry.
I don't want to die.
Neither did Ronnie and the others.
I need food to live.
Just like you.
Strickland: What do you mean, you didn't do it?!
I couldn't.
I was there.
She was there.
She pleaded with me.
Did you ever have something beg for its life
when you were trying to kill it?
Harry, listen to me.
She is, was, and always will be a vampire!
Now, you can't change that.
She can't change that.
You have to go back there and end it.
I can't.
Okay, look... It...
It's getting dark anyway.
I have a plan.
What's the matter, Balbo?
Thinking about going blue collar?
Fabrication guys make $28.50 an hour.
Plus health and welfare.
You know, I think I may have to leave a little bit early today.
That thing from yesterday,
I don't seem to have shaken it.
Well, you know, leaving before three is gonna cost you a sick day.
Well, then I'll just have to time-manage my next illness a little bit better, then when
Would you take my calls?
Don't worry about it, Harry. I gotcha. Hope you feel better, man.
That's bullshit.
What exactly do you want me to do with this?
I need a signature,
C-5 management or higher, to release this stuff.
Okay, okay, let me make this real easy for you.
D.W.P. Sewage has a six-inch line
that just blew out about two hours ago.
Now, I get this over there right now,
or it's gonna run wide open all night.
And in the morning, whenever you get your fully authorized P.O. Signed in triplicate,
we will have lost our biggest customer.
So... So... So tell mem what you want to do.
We gotta get you a backbone
Get you a backbone, baby
We gotta get you a backbone
Get you a backbone, baby
You need it, you need it
You should have killed me when you had the chance.
Javi: I got her wrists tied to the headboard
with her own nylons, and I'm bangin' her from behind,
knockin' the bottom out of it.
And she's sayin' ''pound me, Julio. Pound me, Julio,''
And I' m sayin', ''who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy? ''
Julio.
What?
Julio was her daddy.
You're Javier.
But she was calling for Julio.
What fuckin' difference does that make?
None, obviously.
None, really.
Where you goin', Har?
Uh... My dentist appointment.
I gotta leave early.
Remember, we talked about it.
Uh, no.
What about... What about the big transfer?
You know, the... The oil and gas casings we're over nighting to Louisiana.
Done. Taken care of.
It's your responsibility.
Trust me.
All right, if you say so, buddy.
- I do. - All right.
And if you can't trust the next flange man of the year,
well, who can you trust?
Aha, that's the Harry- -
That's the Harry I know and love right there.
You gotta think like a winner, talk like a winner,
and then you'll be like a winner.
How dare you?
How dare you?!
You're wasting your time with that.
That is Swedish cold -rolled steel
They make vaults with that stuff.
Okay, I'm sorry I had to do this to you.
But I had to find a way to stop the killing.
What's the difference?!
They're just people!
They're... They're human beings,
and they would have pleaded for their lives
just like you did if they'd have had the chance.
Tatiana: Why are you doing this?
Is it me you want?
Do you want to fuck me?
'Cause all you have to do is open up the door.
You know, I gotta go.
Djadadjii, please.
What?
You can't just imprison me and not feed me.
You'd be kinder to kill me.
I'll bring you something.
A homeless person.
- No. No. - Sick. Old.
- No. No! - A prostitute.
Listen! Djadadjii, I need blood.
What does that mean? ''Dj-djadadjii? ''
Djadadjii, vampire hunter.
My name is Harry.
Hi, Harry.
Listen, please.
Let me go, I'll go far away.
To another city.
I can't let you go. You'll just start killing again.
Then you've got to give me blood every single night,
or watch me die a horrible death.
Do you have a name?
Tatiana.
Then you tell me the truth right now.
And I'm gonna know if you're lying to me.
And if you lie to me, you get nothing.
What about animal?
- Can you survive off the blood? - No, no.
- Can you survive... - Djadadjii, don't!
Off the blood of animal?!
Only if they're alive!
Okay. Any preference?
Rabbits. I like rabbits.
Okay, then.
I'll get some rabbits.
Yes, ma'am, I'll hold.
Hey. Hey.
I just got off the phone with Henderson in Atlanta.
On that overnight to Louisiana, the one you said you checked...
12-hole flanges instead of 14.
They don't fit.
Yeah, 80 pieces sitting on an offshore rig.
What did... What... What did... What did he say?
Well, I lied my ass off and blamed it on an error in the technical manual
Told him that the, uh, serial numbers
were off in the internal control catalogue.
Thanks, buddy.
Yeah, well, just don't make it a habit, okay?
Are you okay? you don't look so good.
Yeah, I' m not sleeping much.
Yeah? Something keeping you up?
Yeah.
No. I mean, I, uh, I don't know.
I'm... I' m... I'm just not sleeping.
Yeah, well, you should try it. You know, sleeping?
I'm no good without my 14.
Which one?
I don't care. You decide.
Oh, this one's cute.
Yeah.
Are you a lost child?
Along-lost child...
Ah, you brought me a cute little bunny.
How sweet of you.
I'm hanging it there.
Hey. Hey.
You hearwhat I said?
I hung the key up over there, so, you kill me, you won't get outta here.
You'll starve.
What are you gonna do with me, djadadjii?
I wish you would stop calling me that.
Okay, sweetheart. You don't mind me calling you ''sweetheart''?
My name's Harry, okay?
Just call me that, or you say, ''hey, you.''
I don't care, but...
You can't keep me in here forever, feeding me little bunnies and kitty cats.
I'm gonna be discovered, or you're gonna die.
Well, I' m not gonna let you go. Okay? So...
Well, you might as well go ahead and kill me.
Do you have any enemies, Harry?
Enemies? No.
I mean, there...
There's one guy at work, but, no, I don't...
No, no, there's not really, no.
- Bring me your enemy, Harry. - No.
- The guy at work. - No!
- No, I told you no! - Harry!
- No! - Harry.
I see the way you look at me.
You have no idea what it would be like.
I can make you feel things
you've never imagined.
Or maybe you have imagined.
Harry There used to be these hummingbirds, you know.
I used to see them, the flowering vines next door.
So I put out a feeder, you know?
Just hoping they'd come over.
One morning I saw 'em right outside my window.
Theywere beautiful, just blurs of color.
They're lapping up the nectar.
But I only saw 'em once, you know.
Then they were gone.
It's because you killed them.
What are you talking about?
Put honey in their feeder.
Water and honey, right?
Honey ferments. It turns into alcohol
But their systems are too delicate to handle it.
They drink because they can't resist,
and then they die.
If you look closely, you'll see that there's half a dozen of them
dead outside your window.
You wanted them because they're beautiful,
but because you don't understand their special needs,
you killed them.
What are you getting at?
I would have thought it was obvious.
They're actually gonna engrave my name next week at the bottom.
A different font, but, uh... Hey... Harry.
Huh? Huh?
You're looking at flange man of the year,
region four.
Your fucked-up order was what pushed me over the top.
I have to thank you for that.
Couldn't have done it without you.
Well, congratulations.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
A week's long stay at the beach front isle in Muscle Shoal.
And those Alabama bitches, oh, they are sick.
It's like shucking oysters.
They're sweet, tender.
Practically melt in your mouth.
That's great, Jav.
- Mm-hmm, yeah. - Really.
You jealous?
No, I doubt I could go anyway.
I've got somethin' at home that's been keeping me kind of tied up.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say our boy's gettin' laid.
Strickland: Are you out of your fuckin' mind?
Where is she?
Someplace safe, someplace nobody'll find her. Trust me.
Harry, listen to me.
You have to kill her.
Even though you've got her locked up,
she still has power over you.
That's... That's not true.
- Isn't it? - No.
The most obvious sign is the fact that she's still alive.
Look...
You probably think she's special
That you and her have some sort of connection...
That by knowing what you do, you can somehow change her.
You know, you never asked me how I got in this wheelchair.
It was 1972.
I was 18 years old, with the Marines.
We were five clicks outside of Plei Mei,
real Indian country.
And, uh, we came upon a Vietcong village.
And everything was dead.
Men, women, children.
Arms and legs laying in piles next to a bonfire.
Well, was it some kind of atrocity or...
Yeah, I guess you could say that.
But it wasn't us.
It wasn't them.
It was them.
A vampire.
Asian male and his concubine.
Long story short,
we used every bit of firepower we had to put it down.
Emptying full clips at a time into him.
In the end,
it took a flame thrower to kill it.
We were beat to shit.
Most of us were still alive.
And that's when his girlfriend showed up.
And this 90-pound female vampire
wiped out my entire squad.
I was the only survivor.
She only hit me once.
Broke my body like a toothpick.
Well, I faked being dead.
And when the fast mover showed up,
F-4s with 500-pound napalm bombs, she went D.D.
And the military, they healed my body best they could...
But they thought I'd cracked mentally.
But the thing is... is I know what I saw.
That's why I do all this.
Look, Harry...
You listen to me.
Go find yourself a girlfriend, a hooker...
I don't care.
But then you steel yourself,
and you go back to wherever it is you've got that bitch stashed,
and you finish what you've started.
Because the longer this goes on,
the stronger she gets
and the weaker you become.
Cyndi: Hi, Harry.
Have you had dinner yet?
Uh, no.
Well, do you like lasagna?
Sure, yeah.
Then why don't you come over for dinner?
Lisa was supposed to be home tonight,
so I cooked for both of us,
and then she called and said that she wasn't coming,
so tonight would be perfect because I have enough for two
and there aren't two.
Mmm, you already have plans for dinner.
Yeah.
You're having rabbit?
No, uh, that's actually for someone else.
That's sort of...
Sort of a gift.
Oh, that's sweet, Harry.
I'm kind of surprised, actually.
I mean, not that you wouldn't do something...
Nice for somebody.
I just didn't take you for the rabbit kind of guy.
Can you believe people actually eat these?
I could never do that.
- Yeah, me neither. - No.
No.
Uh...
- What's that? - Pipes in the basement...
Is what that was.
Look, you... You know what?
I gotta go, actually.
I'm not blowing you off about dinner, either.
I just... It's gotta be when
I don't have anything else to do, you know.
Okay, Harry.
Can I just, uh...
Oh.
All right.
I'm gonna go.
Is the rabbit a gift for a woman?
Yeah. I mean, no.
It's not... It's just... It's not like that, really.
I'm... I'm sorry. I have...
It's okay.
I'll see ya.
- Okay. - Okay.
Bye.
You've been with another woman.
Well...
Define ''with.''
I can smell it all over you.
Do you like her like you like me?
Is she pretty?
Yeah, I guess.
People are so strange.
She'll feed you, she'll care for you,
she'll bear your children.
But instead, you want me, who will only devour you.
Oh.
Can't help it, Harry.
It's in my nature. It's what I am.
Bring me the guy rom work.
- No. - The guy who treats you bad.
No. I told you that's not gonna happen.
You remind me of a lover I had once.
He tried to resist me for a long time,
but in the end, he realized that he loved me.
He loved me from the start.
Oh. Poor creature is so frightened.
Even though he doesn't sense any malice,
he knows what has to happen.
You have to go.
What? What? Why?
I'm hungry.
Oh, good.
I was afraid you weren't back yet.
Um, there was a lot left over and I just,
you know, didn't want it to go to waste.
Can I come in?
Yeah, sure.
If you want some Harry, just come and get it.
It's still warm.
Why did you do that?
I thought...
What?
You thought that I brought you lasagna because I wanted you to kiss me?
I wanted to do something nice for you
because you fixed my garbage disposal
I'm sorry, Cyndi, I totally misread the situation.
Well, what did you think?
You're a really great guy, Harry, but I never thought of you like that.
Especially not anything physical or sexual
I feel like such an idiot.
It's okay, Harry. I tend to put my hands on people,
and I'm kind of flirtatious. I can see how you got the idea.
I didn't mean to lead you on.
If it's okay with you,
I'd rather just feel like an idiot by myself.
You don't have to feel like an idiot, Harry.
A girl would be lucky to have a guy like you.
See ya.
Tatiana: Harry. Harry.
I know you're lonely.
I know you want someone.
Take me, Harry.
I'm yours.
I've always been yours.
Don't you want me, Harry?
You can have me.
Mmm. Mmm.
All you have to do is say yes.
Yes.
I know what you need, Harry.
I can give it to you.
- I want... - Mmm.
To give it you.
All you have to do is let me out of this cell.
Harry Yes.
What's the matter?
Is there something else you need?
Is this better?
Mind if I ask what you're doing?
It's a special project.
Special project, my ass.
No P.O., no work order,
no authorization of any kind, or I'm a fuckin' virgin,
and you know better than that.
Oh, you didn't like that answer.
- Uh-uh. - Okay.
Um, let me give you a new answer, then.
Um, I've recently acquired a taste for modern art, and now I'm a sculptor.
Yeah. And my favorite medium, actually, is steel, and this piece...
This specific piece illustrates the futility of struggle
against the allegedly nonexistent postmodern societal constraints.
So, if you'll excuse me...
Oh. Oh, okay.
All right, you know what?
Atlanta's gonna hear about this,
and when they do, I'm gonna have your ass.
Keep welding.
What is that?
Um, it's for, uh, you and me.
You know, us.
And the shackle in the middle?
It's for your neck.
So you don't lose control while we're...
Bitch.
Meter reader:
Tatiana: Help me.
Meter reader: Who... Who's there?
He hurts me.
When it's dark and no one's around.
What the...
Please help me.
I'll go get the police.
Don't leave me.
Don't worry. I'll be right back.
- I'm just gonna go get help. - No!
Same as mine.
12...
Oh, shit!
Shit.
What the fuck did you do?!
What I'm supposed to do.
I'm a vampire, remember?
This is what I do. This is what I am.
I told you to get me a victim,
somebody that nobody would miss, but no.
No, you couldn't do that.
So this is what happens.
- I bought you the rabbits! - Know what?
Fuck the rabbit and fuck you, too, Harry.
I need human blood.
You want to feed a rabbit to something, buy a snake.
From now on, you're gonna get me what I need,
or I'm gonna wither away and die.
And I'm guessing you don't have the stomach for that.
Okay. Okay, okay.
You know what?
We're gonna talk about this later.
As soon as I figure out what do with the dead fucking body!
Man: Oh, sometime it ain't easy, boy
To roll out of bed
And shake the cobwebs
A- hangin' from your head
But you were born
To be in the human race
And if you don't start movin'
You're gonna finish in last place
You gotta go...
What are you doin' out here?
Hey, I was, uh, just cleanin' out my car.
You know, burger bags and, um, coffee cups.
It was dirty.
Yeah, well, look... We got a call this morning from accounting.
D.W.P.'s all pissed off about 32,000 bucks worth of specialty steel
they say they never ordered.
Yeah.
I don't know what's goin' on, buddy,
but you better get your shit together.
Okay? Javi called Atlanta about your special project,
and now Henderson's flying in here on Friday,
so you better have a damn good story if you're looking to keep your job.
You got it?
Absolutely, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Go, cat, go, cat, go
You gotta go, cat, go
You got to take that flow
Or you got to go, go, go
You got to go
Go, go, go
Go, cat, go, cat, go
Aw! Fuck!
Motherfucker!
Whose idea was this shit, anyway?
Detective: What's the ticker on the head ripper?
Uh, four days since the last kill.
Might have another lucky contestant.
No body, but a meter reader never reported back to his office.
And most of his route runs through the red zone.
In broad daylight?
Guy's never made a move except at night.
Without a body, I mean,
for all we know he spent the afternoon
in some bar getting shitfaced.
Here's the printout of the guy's route from South Cal. Edison.
Don't say I didn't give you a heads up.
If you're thinking
You're too cool to boogie
Boy, oh, boy
Have I got news for you
Everybody here tonight must boogie
Let me tell you
You are no exception to the rule
Get on up on the floor
'Cause we're gonna boogie oogie oogie
Till you just can't boogie no more
What's that?
It's a surprise.
It's human blood.
It's dead.
Well, so are you.
No, Harry. I'm undead.
There's a difference.
Well, you... You said human blood,
so that's what I brought you.
You could at least try it.
No.
You have any idea what this cost?
Do you?
Then you drink it.
Bon appetit.
You ungrateful bitch.
That's what you are... You're... You're...
You're... You're selfish and you're ungrateful
You don't want it, that's fine, okay?
But you're not gettin' anything else.
I'm dying, Harry!
Not fast.
Not today, not tomorrow, maybe, but soon.
Well, maybe I can feed you.
No, Harry. It won't work.
Aside from hunting, I normally have five to six lovers.
And eventually I drain them all.
We can... We can...
Well, we'll... We'll make it work.
If it worked that way, then every vampire would have a lover
and live happily ever after.
Only for me, there's no happily ever after.
Because I'd just end up killing you.
You make it... You make it sound like you actually care about me.
Harry, it's just an illusion.
It's part of the glamour of evil
I can't love...
Not like the living, not like you need.
Well, see... See... See, that's the catch-22 right there.
If you were totally cold and machiavellian, then...
Then... Then you would just say that you love me
and you... You'd lure me to my doom,
but the fact that you didn't tells me that there's something there.
Please, Harry.
Just let me go.
I promise you will never see me again.
I swear.
I can't.
You can't or you won't?
Harry, who's the real monster here?
You say that you care about me, yet I'm starving to death.
You know it is torturing me,
yet you don't do anything about it.
I understand.
You captured me.
You win, I lose.
But just in case you think
that I'm gonna be your little sex toy while I slowly die, forget it.
If you want me to take care of you,
you need to take care of me.
Javi: Hey, Balbo.
Hey, I'm talking to you.
I hope enjoy your last day, dickhead.
Henderson's flying in at 6:30 tomorrow morning,
and I'm the one picking him up from the airport.
- Just leave me alone, Javi. - Leave you...
Why don't you go ahead and go overthere and clean out your desk right now?
It'll save you a lot of time. You won't have worry about...
- Oh, sorry. - You know what?
What? What are you gonna do?
- I might... - You might what?
You might what?
You might start cryin'?
You might get physical
You might complain to management?
Huh? What's a pathetic retard like you gonna do to somebody like me?
Huh? What? I'm sorry, I can't hear you, Balbo.
What? What?!
Oh, I think the answer might be nothin', you fuckin' pussy.
You know what?
You know what, Javi?
- Uh, hey, okay. - You're right.
You're right.
Maybe I am a pussy.
- Yup. - Maybe I am.
Oh, okay.
And that's why- - That's why as much as it hurts me,
I gotta ask you to do something for me.
- Huh? - I got a problem...
Somethin'... Somethin' sexual
Maybe you noticed lately that I have been a bit different, you know?
Yeah. Actually, I've noticed you were...
There's this girl
The most beautiful, sexything I've ever seen in my life.
She's... She's living in my basement.
Basement?
Her name's Tatiana.
She's... She's European, Javi.
I love European women.
They're so, uh, foreign.
Yeah.
Let me guess...
She doesn't have a Green Card,
and she's bangin' you for free room and board.
She definitely doesn't have a Green Card,
but she has everything else.
Tits...
Ass...
Legs.
She's got the whole package and she knows it.
And she just loves sex.
She can't get enough of it.
She's a dirty, dirty girl
She's used to having five, six lovers at the same time.
You could say- -
You could say she's insatiable.
Now, there's a word.
She keeps me up at night. I'm not gettin' any sleep at all.
My waking hours are spent thinking of her.
You know the type.
I love that type.
Can't keep her satisfied anymore.
I'm not sure any one man could.
- Well... - I doubt it.
I doubt that man exists.
And I know she wants to try new things.
I don't want to bore her.
Matter of fact, just the other day she said, ''keep your eye open for someone tasty. ''
She said that?
Somebody tasty?
So I immediately thought of you, Javi.
Hope you don't mind.
You've come to the right man, Harry.
I mean, I don't mean to blow my own horn,
but I am a sexual Tyrannosaurus rex.
I know.
- I know. - Mm-hmm.
That's why I think maybe you might be able to take care of her.
You might be able to give her what she needs,
keep her satisfied.
Well, Harry, if...
If she's half the girl you say she is,
I'll give her everything I've got,
every last drop.
I know.
I know you will, Javi.
I'm countin' on it.
Wojtek Wojlewski, 34.
Meter reader from South Cal. Edison.
Our formerly missing person.
He's still got a head.
Yeah, but not a drop of blood in his body.
Prints?
Got a clean set off the bag,
so we're already on the way to the lab.
Take a look at this.
His meter reader keypad.
How's the data stored?
I've got that right here.
And it's intact.
Meaning we can download his route
and figure out the last stop he made.
That's right.
Can you feel it?
What?
Somewhere out there, somebody's asshole's starting to pucker.
Balbo.
It's me, Javi. Open up.
How you doin'?
Dream on.
Fuckin' bitch.
Balbo!
Bal- -
What's up, daddy?
You changed clothes.
I always keep a fresh shirt in the locker.
You never know.
Bag?
Love kit. Now, where is she?
Gotta go downstairs.
I don't let her up here.
Not even for a little...
It's for the best. Trust me.
Hey, I'm all about trust.
Now, grab whatever it is you need and let's go.
I gotta get dirty.
I don't need anything.
All right, suit yourself.
You excited, Harry?
You're about to release me into my natural habitat.
Sometimes you gotta warm it up first.
Yeah, uh...
What are you waitin' for? Come on.
- Open the door. Let's go. - Um, I'm... I'm... I'm...
I'm sorry, Javi.
You know, I made a mistake, okay?
I just... I changed my mind.
Changed your mind?
Yeah, I shouldn't have taken you here.
You know, it's... You were...
You were mean to me, and I wasn't thinking clearly,
but now I've had time to calm down, and I just...
I've changed my mind. - No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
You don't get to change your mind, Harry.
- Go. - Give me the keys.
- No, No. - Give me... Give me the keys.
- I can't, Javi. - I'm going in.
You don't understand, okay?
I can't let you go in there.
Just... Maybe you're right.
Harry, I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Okay. - Oh, Harry.
Sorry, Balbo.
You dangled a pussy carrot, and I'm gonna take a bite.
Hello?
Anybody down?
Oh, shit.
Well, well, well.
Looky, looky, lovely.
Javi: How you doin'?
Tatiana: You're Harry's friend from work.
I am, in fact, the gentleman
from Harry's former place of employment, yes.
See that key overthere?
Harry keeps it just out of my reach. He does it to torture me.
Can you get it?
That sick motherfucker.
This key right over here?
Let me see.
This key?
What are you gonna do for this key? Huh?
You want me to put my key in that hole?
Mmm.
What are you gonna do to get my key in your hole?
Huh?
Oh.
Ah... Well.
Oh, kinky, kinky.
What? Oh, that's sexy.
Yeah, I like that.
Oh, that's excellent.
Yeah.
Yeah... Ow.
Yeah.
Daddy likes that. Nice. Ow!
What are you doin'?! Ow!
Bitch, let go! Ow! Ow!
Ah! Hey!
Harry! Ow! Ow!
Ow!
Ow! Bitch! Ow!
Harry!
Get off me, bitch! Ow!
Help me!
What the fuck?! Harry! Harry!
No. Ow! No! Oh!
What are you doin', Balbo?
Ow! Not my- -
Man: Gettin' closer
Gettin' close
Gettin' closer...
So...
All right, we got one hacksaw...
One pack of extra heavy duty blades...
One 32-gallon trash can,
and one... Bag of lime.
I, uh, have a coupon for that.
Um, right.
What's wrong?
Hate the smell of death.
Forgive me if that just sounds a little bit ironic.
You think I like who I am...
And what I've become?
Do you think that I never played with dolls or loved to dance?
Or wished that when I grew up that I would fall in love?
I love thee as I love the calm of the sweet starlit hours.
And I love thee as I love the balm of early jasmine flowers.
Ilove thee as I love the last rich smile of the fading day,
which lingereth like the look we cast on rapture passed away.
I love thee like I love the tone of a whispering flute
whose soul has waked for me alone when all the world is mute.
It was ruined for me.
Uh, I think I'm gonna be sick.
Should have thought about that before.
Yeah, before I brought him here.
No, before you brought me here.
Loper.
Detective: We got a match on the prints.
Feel like sharing?
Some guy named Harry Balbo.
No priors, but his employer required
a criminal record check when he got hired,
so his prints are on file.
Son of a bitch.
Meet me at the entrance of Industrial Park in Overland.
That's where he works. We will do him there.
Chet: Harry, the police were here.
Some detective named Loper's looking to question you
about the disappearance of a meter man.
Plus Javi never showed up,
and his wife called to say he never came home,
and we both know he was with you last night.
Now, look.
I'm probably not even supposed to be doing this,
but I just at least wanted to warn you, okay?
Uh, shit, Har... what the hell's going on, man?
Look, uh, if you're there, pick up, will you?
Strickland: Harry, what you're talking about
is suicide.
I've already killed two people.
- You didn't kill them. - The fuck I didn't.
Okay, maybe the first one was an accident,
but Javi, the guy from my work,
I just fed him up to her.
It's just as bad as what she did.
Maybe even worse, 'cause I had a choice.
It doesn't have to end like this, Harry.
Yeah, it does.
Look, I gotta go.
No, you can't do this, Harry.
Stay on the line!
You've been a good friend.
I just...
I just didn't want to disappear without saying goodbye
and letting you know that you were right.
No, Harry! Harry!
Harry!
Bye -bye, little buddy.
What's the matter?
No bunny rabbit?
I can't go on like this.
I'm not gonna let you just kill me.
Not you.
Me.
Tonight I'm the rabbit.
From the first day when I saw you,
I was supposed to kill you.
But I couldn't bring myself to do it.
You were so beautiful
I just watched you sleep,
your breast rising and falling.
And I looked at the hammer and the chisel in my hands,
and I asked myself,
''how can anything so beautiful be evil ''
And then you opened your eyes so soft and deep,
and I realized this wasn't an accident.
I found you because I was meant to save you...
Remind you of who and what you used to be.
I said to myself, ''I can change her.
''I can wean her away from what she's become,
''and those who'd kill her...
''They're wrong because they haven't seen her.
But I have.''
You shouldn't do this, Harry.
I am what I am.
Well, that's exactly the point.
You're a monster.
I didn't realize at first, but
I do now.
And you've turned me into a monster, too.
We might as well finish it.
When the police arrive, I'll be on the floor.
No, Harry.
I'll be your next victim.
Maybe your last.
And so ends my descent into madness.
No, Harry.
I don't want to do this. You're more than food to me.
I don't want to kill you.
But you gotta realize...
Guys like me don't get girl like you.
No, I don't want to do this.
I don't want to kill you.
Harry.
Wh-what a surprise.
You ready to feed me?
Now?
I'm hungry.
Well...
Sure, uh, come on in.
Come on, you motherfuckers.
I know you're out there,
so come and get me.
Come on!
Man: I wonder, wonder
Wonder where you are
I don't even know why
And I want, and I want
And I wanted only you
Tom, there's blood in the basement.
That's where the kills went down.
Tom: I'll be right down.
Mike, over here.
Speak up and tell me
Who are you
And what I do to you
Love always
It's truly only
So I'm only ever after you
Truly only ever after you
Oh.
Oh, shit.