Before they become comedians, they aren't funny.
What's so funny about it?
Why don't you join me? It might be a killing!
Mister! Chopsticks! Boiled rice! Check!
I haven't eaten!
Why don't you start eating yet?
Look! It never hurt, doesn't it?
Intended to be funny, but it's not
Wow! The table of flamers!
Razzing me? Is it hurt? Is it hurt? Foot and a fag!
Comedian is more risky than any career.
Once a superstar comedian, now a no-name clown.
"Comedians (are about to) meet their end"
Who turns off the light?
This way!
"The headmaster of Hazard University" Kom Chounchuen
Not get used to me yet?
I invited you all today?
"Executives of Hazard University"
Right now our school is going down.
Many comedians are losing their jobs.
Ever since Liang passed away, Cafe was closed,
Eddy dropped dead, Sayan went belly up,
Nong Sai kicked the bucket?
Who will be next?
Me?
I asked you all to help find a way out.
Over there!
Thanks
Moron!
Not out of the room! Let's brainstorm!
Anyone is out of line again, I'll fire them out!
How is it snowing?
What bastard is playing with the foam? Shoot him!
- Secretary Kerk - Yes?
What do you think?
Yes, sir. There is a report.
"Secretary Kerk" - Kerk Chiller
No?
Damn! Again?
Say it?
From this report, our world today is getting off-the-wall.
People are so crazy about how good they look?
Leaving our business out in the cold.
How can we get through this mess?
There is one person.
Who?
The lady of fortune.
Lady of fortune?
Yes? She can help us solve any problem.
Call her then.
All right. Just dial? 1900-1900 star star star star
Who?
Me
That's it.
Geez! Stop being too funny!
1900-1900 star star star star
Welcome? I'll give you advice about your future.
Miss Lady of Fortune? May I introduce you?
Not to!
I know? I see? I can feel it.
You've had quite a tough break lately.
Wow! She's right on!
Cut to the chase. Tell us what you see?
Rahu actually engulfs the moon
but somehow it takes the Venus?
Which is the star of all comedians.
It slowly swallows up and tossing off the star?
Comedians will gradually cash in their checks!
There will be no comedians left.
The end of comedian era!
It's ended already?
Just my first scene? It's about to end now?
How can we fix it?
I have a way to help you out.
Go find the four elements savior
to help you make the Rahu laugh!
When he opens the mouth laughing, Venus will be set free.
Who're those savior? Where will we find them?
Yeah?
Your time is running out, please refill money.
Refill money, refill money, refill money!
Tell me now before we get disconnected.
Come on! We'll transfer you the money later.
How can we find them?
I gotta save the money in my pocket first.
Greedy bitch!
You bear face!
She's cursing your dad!
Screwy nerdy!
She said your mom is a slut!
Bastard!
She calls you a hellish bastard.
You bear face!
That's enough.
Screwy nerdy!
Enough!
I'm talking about you!
Are you adding more money?
What a money grubber!
Had I known, I wouldn't call you!
Go to hell! I don't need your help.
You bear face! Screwy nerdy! Bastard!
She called you a fucking bastard!
She's gone!
How come you don't say a word?
Why me?
Your face looks strange, your bow tie is even weirder!
"Later on"
Oh shit!
Exactly!
It's a hint.
Very deep!
But what the last word says?
"Fuck your dad!"
Pardon?
"Fuck your dad!"
What is it anyway?
I see only his mouth and uvula.
What does it mean?
Mr. Headmaster.
What did you just call me?
Mr. Headmaster.
How you know my head is the master?
From how you dress up. Normal folk won't do.
It must be you, the headmaster.
You can see people!
Who are you?
- I'm Tanon? Please take me as your student - "Tanon" - Intaporn Tamsukhin (Magzine)
What a weird name! ...Tanon!
I've never heard such a name.
So what are you here for?
Please take me as your student.
I'm busy.
"Mhek" - Charlie Trirat (Nack)
Mhek? You moron!
"Mhork" - Tanachart Tulayachart (Artie)
Mhork! You gotta flunk the exam! Asswipe!
You're bastard?
Come on! You gotta catch me up!
You think you can run away from me?
I got you now!
Bastard!
This is fucking hurt?
Why are you peeing here? Beat it!
Look what they did to the headmaster!
Is this what they satisfied?
I'll remember you all?
You're done yet, huh?
I'm a man, not a sewer!
Dog face!
Lame leg! Pig face!
Crooked ear! Bear face!
Shit!
Oh my god!
A bear can speak!
Am I dead now?
Not yet?
Why you do that?
I'm alive.
And who are you?
I'm Hin...
A repeatedly freshman of Hazard U.
"Hin"...Boriboon Chan-rueng (Tuk)
Why you peeing on me?
To test if you're a headmaster.
Man! Give me your hand.
You'd better cut your nails.
Where am I now?
Fucking funny!
"Fucking" turn the other way.
Don't get me wrong? I mean you're at the funny park.
It's in Hazard University.
How can we get out of here?
Hey! This way!
We disguise ourselves.
To be what?
With this condition? You have only one choice.
A Budgie
Quiet!
Hey! We got company.
Headmaster? Don't drink the honey!
Too late?
It's the mating time for bears?
All bears who had eaten the honey
...must let it happen.
What?
I've never done it! Exactly like human!
Why are you crying? It gotta be me to cry.
Mercy on me!
New look of the headmaster.
Really hard core!
"Ohh! Ahh!"
Hin?
Let keep it between you and me, okay?
Okay?
Okay what?
"Petch"...Pimchanok Polboon (Bai Fern)
Oh god!
What happened to you?
A bit of accident at my butt.
May I have a look?
My god?!
Got thrusted by a big tool?
How do you know?
It's the big mountain.
Let's check your temperature.
Go ahead?
Temperature?
It's? Just like an insect bite.
Why you screw it?
Let's change the place.
Why it tastes salty?
Wait. What are you doing, nurse?
Remove a foreign matter out.
You gotta scoop my ass out?
It won't hurt you.
Don't cry? Easy.
Oops! It's broken!
And sticky.
There is more.
Don't pull it out!
Why?
That's not what you want.
Oh? Wrong one.
It's out!
I'm curious?
Did it cut your ass?
It also whacked my guts.
Oh no! It's not all yet!
What is left?
What the hell is it?
Let me collect it all together.
That's enough! You sadistic bitch!
Finally? It ends at the black bean.
"The bear face"
"The screwy nerdy"
"The bastard"
Have you know Hazard is about to closed down?
The Lady of fortune has predicted...
There are 4 people who can save our institution.
Sir?
I have a question.
Say it.
Are you sure, only four?
I can see four here.
Headmaster, take me as your student.
You still follow me?
I'm searching for my dad.
Have me as your student, please.
Looking for your dad? What's his name?
I only know he's at Hazard. And has a birthmark on his ass.
Birthmark on his ass? That's it!
You don't know how he looks? How can I find him?
Accept me as your student!
How could I?
We're in a crisis. You've come wrong day!
Looking for your dad?
We only have a godfather.
I have a birthmark. Wanna see it?
No need to be scared. Everything is fine.
You'd better go home,
Your dad is not here.
We have only a stepfather.
Want one?
How about a kind man like me?
I'll show you the 2J turbo engine
and drift on you every day.
Don't leave yet.
Let a godfather take care of your heart!
The stepfather is nearly breathless.
Come live with a kind man.
I'll turn on my 2J-Turbo engine...
all night long.
"Fuck your dad!"
Hey!
Let me go! I'm going home.
Excuse me?
I'm going home.
Before that?
Let me go!
Even before that?
Please accept me as your student?
Bitch! Not that far!
No!
Before that word!
"Fuck your dad!"
Hell yeah!
You're the one!
I'll have you as a student!
You will save Hazard University!
Petch
What?
Why we have to move slowly here?
Because it is the basic move of all comedian.
And why they walk like an egret?
The egret move has made people laugh!
Ever heard the move of Master Nhu?
Master Nhu? The five-stripe yantra?
Wanna slap with me?
Oh don't like it?
Take that!
Don't forget to pay her.
You shitty mouth!
I'm scared!
Hey! Wait up!
Why you gotta bump into me?
Wait! Wait!
Good that you're here, Tanon. Listen.
These pictures are alumni of Hazard U.
What I'm seeing are art pictures.
Due to code of pathetics...
Ethics!
It's a code. Understand?
Firstly? Who is he?
Time up! Tua Rae?
This is Ped Chernyim.
Who is it? Time is running out!
Miss? Miss who?
Miss? U
Miss You too? No!
This is Mr. Bean.
Mr. Bean was an exchange student.
And here? I'm very proud to present.
Come here!
The legendary comedian!
What do you mean?
Don't you know?
The ash of the legend
Damn! Double slam!
We call this slap twice?
Are you crazy?
The comedians are about to die from this world?
How could you still playing joke?
Learn how to be a good comedian.
Stir the Rahu to hard laugh...
so that he spit out the Venus.
Mark my word.
The comedian never dies!
Headmaster! Oh my!
What?
7 comedian masters fell dead in sewers.
Holy shit!
Your time is running out.
The hope of Hazard is with you!
Do however you can to bring it back!
- "The master of tools" - Nui Chernyim - All right? As you see on this table
Tools for the comedian show.
We'll get to know them
one by one?
Why do you put that on?
For you to ask me.
Then how could you gonna ask?
All right, guys!
Let's get to know the tools.
You see them? You know what it is?
I know? Future board.
Or also known as?
Future Park?
...Rangsit
You think that's funny?
This is a folding fan, for striking head.
Who don't know how to use it?
Me!
Have you ever seen it before?
Sometimes.
You've seen people used it?
I saw it sometime.
Get up? Seeing it sometime?
Now try using it. Spank on my head.
Hold it this side
Or handy at this side?
Yes.
Happen to like this side, huh?
Hold it this way? It won't hurt when you whip it.
It will fold together? It's a folding fan.
Okay? Again.
Are you a tennis player? Hitting over the net?
Hold it up and hit it down.
Why slapping on the face?
Try again!
I'll show you how to use it. Like this!
Get it?
It's fun. Try it? It won't hurt.
A girl can hit too.
It won't hurt.
Is it hurt? Not at all. Try it!
We're done with the folding fan.
Next is?
The grandma tube!
We call it a rubber tube!
Mhork said it!
Why you not told him?
Moron! It's a rubber tube.
Look like it hurts but not really.
Because rubber tube has a hole in the middle.
You see the hole?
Petch also has a hole.
Have what?
Petch has a hole.
You call a girl having a hole?
Damn dirty.
Don't be too snotty with a lady!
Get up over here? Try it.
It's not hurt.
You heard a loud noise. But no?
It won't hurt. Let him try. You never used it?
- Never. - Give it a try.
With your body, I must cut you in two pieces.
Try it! If it hurts you, just yell out.
Get it? Give it a try.
Not hurt?
See?
But burning.
Shitting me?
No shit.
Next try hitting the head.
Head is thicker.
Because we got a skull? Spank it!
Like this!
Hurt?
Not at all!
Hold it like this.
You can't hold it like this.
Why not?
Because it will fold to hit the ear.
See? His ear just got hit.
Master? All right.
Wanna try hitting me?
Sure!
Try the small one first. Hit me!
- Like this? - Bring it on!
Nah? Harder!
No.
Keep it going!
Not right yet! Not yet! Not yet!
You're not gonna stop yet?
- We're trying it. - You told us to.
Just two are enough.
We've learned about rubber tube and folding fan.
The next one is?
A tray.
What kind?
Aluminum tray
You? Come over here! Hey!
The Mask!
I've seen anything this funny before!
Take it off!
Your turn
Yes, sir.
Have you ever used this tool?
It can be used to make rhythm.
Drumming like that.
Think you can do it?
Sure.
Try hitting me? Come on.
Funny?
Waste of time. I gotta go teach others after this.
Ready? Do it!
My nose! Is my nose still here?
Yeah...
You really don't know shit.
Hit downward, or it'll swipe down the entire face.
Use the entire surface.
Give me a time to prepare?
To get ready?
Ready?
All right? Now hit it backward?
To bring the tray back in shape.
Slice more!
Wanna take off my head to practice at home?
No, thanks.
I deserve a bit of respect?
You'd better hit me with respect.
How to do it?
Just use half of the tray?
Try again.
The edge?
Why you edgy?
You hit me with the edge of tray.
- Let's have a break. - Master
Is it blood or sweat?
Sweat.
All tools can be used to make a good joke.
Hey! Whose stuff is it?
What the glasses are used with?
With the ears?
What's wrong?
Jot down that gag!
To use it on stage?
Never use it. It'll ruin my reputation.
Try it.
Make a high pitch and sing it?
Wait? You sing it like Tik Cheero.
Make it higher!
Higher!
You and your glasses? Go joking outside!
Make it more funny? Like this? Look!
Put it on, sir.
Like this?
Put it on.
- Nobody wanna stop me? - You gotta make a U-turn. Bring it back.
Are you a Cambodian?
Why?
Hanoi?
What is Hanoi?
Ha is funny, Noi is little
Hanoi is in Vietnam!
Do you have a brain? It's not funny.
Are you an islander?
What island?
Hawaii?
First Hanoi and now Hawaii?
Hanoi gag is dull? You're still trying the Hawaii?
Your glasses is so big.
Try putting it on.
Gotcha!
Who's making fun of me?
The next tool. Anyone knows what it is?
Sweet rice in bamboo.
This is the most modern tool.
In our business, we're so proud of it.
Use it to determine how fun.
How about the measuring tape to grade the joke?
Is that your wisecrack?
If it is, Make it funnier!
This tool is clever.
How you know a stuff is clever?
It has a sharp head? See?
Sharp head? Very smart. Yes!
Much smarter than you.
I'll demonstrate how to use it.
See this protruding part? What we do with it?
What else can it do?
Picking nose.
Sure, sure.
Picking teeth?
Anyone wants to use it after me?
I guess not.
Sure? I can dig it in here?
Picking ears.
Picking nose again.
Picking nose.
Picking teeth
Is it too nasty?
You are too fast.
Learn how to use this tool?
To measure your sense of humor.
You see the switch?
What?
Switch
You're so out-dated? We call it a button.
Whatever. I'm a conservative man?
Look! I'll show you now.
On three, I'll push the switch. Ready?
One!
Two!
Three!
"Tragic Bomb"
Tanon?
If I were a glass
would you do me a favor?
What can I do, Mhek?
Could you fill it up with your heart?
Petch.
What?
If you were a diamond, could I be the mud?
What mud?
Oops! I just got cursed out.
Tanon? Turn both sides of face to me.
Why?
I won't fall in love with you only one side.
Yuck!
Tanon!
I'm jealous.
What are you jealous of?
Jealous of a plane in Hokkaido.
- Wow! - A joke from overseas!
Jealous of a thermometer in the hippo's ass.
Jealous of a goat pepper on the chicken rice.
Jealous of everyone near you.
What a crappy pisser!
"Jazz the senior" - Jazz Chounchuen
Hello.
You are well prepared.
Hungry yet?
We're starving.
Sit down. Hey!
Move over there! My fellows are here.
Yes sir!
Your mom screw with the foreigner?
Twice!
Come on! My treat!
Five rice on curry? Hurry up!
Hello? Jazz. My name is Tanon.
I'm looking for my dad.
My mom told that he has a birthmark on the right ass.
Do you know anyone having it?
Birthmark on the right ass?
I got one.
Don't tell me that you are?
Look at my right ass.
Here!
She's Parn. Parn (birthmark) at the ass.
"Parn"?
Damn!
Damn! You have a silencer!
Mr. Pong The Bad-mouthed Somkiet Kunanithipong
Jazz
Pong the bad-mouthed?
This movie is "Hazard" not "Boon-Chu"!
I opened this place even before Boonchu movie.
Nickname "Pong the bad-mouthed" was given by Hazard.
Don't you know that?
Here! Rice on curry!
This is not rice with curry? You got only rice.
You ordered rice on curry?
Rice is on top.
If you want curry on rice? You'd better say so.
So I can top the rice with curry.
Dig it!
You'll never get me.
I'm full, Jazz.
I'm getting late for class. Let's go!
It's 5,500 baht.
What? Didn't Jazz?
He didn't pay for us?
Not yet!
He said he'd treat us.
Yes?
You were fooled by that bastard's trick.
What trick?
Everyone was fooled? A trick to have free food!
5,500 baht? Pay me now!
5,500?
May I show another trick?
What trick?
A trick to eat free food.
What's the difference?
Sure? Jazz did the trick to eat free food but we?
Eat without paying!
Where are you going?
Help me?
I got tanked?
I thank you?
Wow!
Where are you guys?
It's in my chest.
Where is everyone?
What're you doing, Jazz?
I'm waiting in line to get my ID, I guess!
Oh shit! Jazz
Jazz got stabbed?
Jazz is stabbed to dead.
Huh?
Jazz is dead!
Headmaster!
No way! It can't be!
Goddammit!
The curse is upon the students?
This isn't good!
We gotta teach everything to all saviors.
Master of comedian costume Jaturong Polboon
A teacher or a cuckoo?
We call this funny costume.
Can you guess whom I'm dressing like?
Phra Lor?
Phra looks? Delicious.
Phra Apai? Forgive me please.
Pa-Loh!
Master of the dhamma talk Phra maha Sompong Talaputto
Buddha blesses, everyone.
This is a funny talk hour.
The way we speak can make others happy.
When monk goes to bed?
Sleep?
Whoa? English word?
Monk sleeps, we used the word "Jum-Wat".
Means he can't remember?
He can't "Jum-Wat", means he can't fall asleep.
What you call when a monk die?
Call ambulance
Why don't you lead the joke yourself then?
Let me introduce myself.
- "Master of funny dance" - Ponk-nheng & Ja-Ae Chernyim
And I'm Ja-Ae.
Why are you scratching your ass?
Ants are having a party in there?
About dancing? There are many moves.
African American likes Hip-Hop dance.
Yes
They have dace like "He-avy"?
It's Heavy!
Then you gotta dress up like "Hi-pee"?
Hippy!
To make things simple?
Regardless of a gay or a fag?
You are just a beginner?
We call that a cherub.
This cherub is called "Toot".
Toot has to take time
until he finds out that whether he's a gay or a fag.
Wow!
Wee!
"Master of funny mime" - Baby Mime
Your mission today? You gotta dress up?
As one of the characters in Phra Apaimanee.
Split up and come up with your own idea.
All stuffs you need are in the yellow box.
Here you go, Tanon? Hin? Get out!
Don't crowd in? We're in a competition.
Where have you been? Taking shit?
No? I couldn't cut the line.
Jazz Dance!
Correct!
Jazz? Dance
Bring out more tongue!
Jazzzz? Dance
Jazzzzz? Dance
Hold it right there? Bring more. Jazzz Dance
Jazzzzzz Dance!
Pull out more? More!
Jazzzz? Dance!!!
Okay? You got it!
Jazz Dance!
Your tongue? Stick out your tongue.
Jazz? Dance?
Good work!
Next we'll learn how to be a queen.
It's not easy? Are you ready?
- Yes. - Yes.
Okay? Let's get transformed.
Kids?
The master is here.
What are you?
Look at the muscle of his arms!
How is it? Adorable, right?
Advanced level? Come from my personal impression.
Advanced? How about you admit first?
Silly!
Show me some respect, will you?
Today?
Everyone has to dressed up as a queen.
Yes
Master?
What?
I'm ready to get transformed?
Let's begin?
What the hell?
Slice slap.
- Master. - Yes?
I can bend it.
How?
Even worse.
Let's get started then.
Can I sit on a chair?
You'd better sit up here
Is my hair okay now?
I saw it on TV? Awesome!
Damn! Like a stone!
Cool!
How could you do it?
It's on my foot!
Turn a suitcase.
It's getting burnt.
Stop it.
You say a word!
Look! Over there.
I see? You asked for number?
Sangatan nani kikusungko?
The abbot is sitting beside.
Reverence Pong? What does kikusungko mean?
I gotta answer. I'm just a resident monk.
Kiku means lovely?
Sungko means monk
Kikusungko means for the lovely monk.
That day he sat all day long? Wanna be lovely.
Some people don't know how to talk with a monk.
When I answer some call, I said "Hello you".
"Hello reverence? This is Atama"
Listen? Atama belongs to me.
If you say you're Atama? What would I call myself?
You can't use the monk word with you.
I'd say good bye? Peace be with you.
"Yes? Peace be with you too."
They will respond to us,
we can use to apply in our show.
What character are you?
A mermaid.
What is a mermaid?
Mermaid is pinkish tissue underneath the teeth.
Pinkish skin under the teeth?
- Like this? - Yes
We call this "Gum"!
Mermaid is half human half animal!
He has a lion head but human body.
That is Nania!
Oh really? You get 80 points.
- Thank you. - Very good.
What are you?
I'm Sood Saku.
Friend of the steamed dumpling.
That's enough? What's your name?
Samuthsakorn.
Samuthsakorn? Where do you live?
Pak Chong
Mahachai!
Turn this way.
You're still virgin? Your nipples are pink.
What's between your legs?
A horse
Watch out
Why?
Don't ride it in the middle.
Its edge might cut...
your balls?
Your voice is very dominating.
That's good basic.
Put your leg higher? This higher?
Higher!
Make it higher!
Yeah, very good. Where is his leg?
Over here? Too high!
Keep moving?
Your legs are stiff? Stiff indeed.
Give it a massage to make it less tense.
Make it look good.
Because? Your face look dull and dark.
This is a facial massage by foot.
I personally don't like the chat on net.
It destroys good language.
How? Listen to these words? ' Leally? Dat's alright'?
Stammer words like... ei ei ei ei ei
lolololol, +++, sec sec sec,
Commin, commin, commin, commin
Da Da, chimi chimi, huhu huhu huhu
Make it all the way.
One? Two? Three!
Jackass! You're countering me.
Here we go? Well?
Threshing basket with wings. Demon, right?
No? Look carefully. What is this?
Butterfly.
- And this? - Book.
- When they're together? - Book and butterfly.
Arggg!
Let me try.
What's this?
Butterfly.
- And this? - Book.
- Now combine? - The butterfly giantess?
Turn around.
Show some posture!
Boring!
This one is gorgeous. Leg touching head!
Gosh! Don't even think you can raise it this high.
The last one? Here!
Very freaking?
Swing your hip... Yeah!
I consider you three amateur queens cloths are?
Qualified!
Thank you so much!
Music!
Three-four!
Ja Ae? Check them out.
Good. Very concentration? Stay still.
This guy is very good? Excellent!
Don't tremble.
Ja Ae? Go check?
Next, make a posture.
Next.
I guess you might got a gout attack.
You're playing a hermit?
Yes. You think I'm a tiger-mask wrestler?
Good! You are striking back.
Pretty good.
I call it U-turn?
U-turn too? This is a repeated voice.
Careful! The repeated voice will kill the gag.
It would be dull? I warn you.
I got a verse.
Say it?
One? Two?
You gotta count to three?
Want me to start the line??
- Good idea, sir. - Isn't it? / First, I intended to count.
- There was a hermit? - Practicing meditation.
- He didn't eat any food? - But eat only?
Do it again? Focus!
All right
There was a hermit?
There was a haarmit?
There was a hermit practicing meditation.
Okay?
There was a harrmit?
Why you keep saying "harrmit"?
- Her-mit! - Hermit!
My nipples are getting harder now.
I gotta go.
- Dance backward? - Moonwalk.
- Where is the master? - Right here!
You turn to play on that side?
To be perfect, you gotta sing the national anthem.
He's showing his balls again.
Hey! Stop!
Stop, I told you!
He's doing a breakdance.
Hey! Make a sissy move like a queen!
What are you dancing? You dance like a sponge!
I can't stand this song.
You're too much, bitch!
- Finish! - Come on! Good!
Where's your tongue?
Stick out? Good!
Hold on! Master?
- Why? - Disgusting!
It's the finale act.
- What? Why grasping down there? - That's the best of it.
Beautiful!
Wow! They are bowing to you!
In China, people dug 100 meters underground?
And found an old telephone line?
The entire nation celebrated.
Means Chinese have had the phone for a century.
American felt like they were outdoned.
They then dug 200 meters.
Also found the line? Celebrated all over the country.
Means American started using the phone 200 years ago.
Thais viewed that were unacceptable?
Dug 300 meters under the ground
and found nothing.
The entire nation celebrated.
Means 300 years ago. We Thais have had the wireless phone.
What a genius!
My class is now over.
Time to pay the tuition.
- Master? - What?
Have you ever asked if we wanna take this course?
Wanna take this course?
So rude!
- That is unbearable! - Ponk Nheng? Calm down!
Ponk Nheng? Calm down!
Taking your tool out to fight me?
Fight what?
Look at how they talk to their teachers.
The course is over! Get out of here!
Next?
- Full throttle. - What's this?
Dressing up like this?
Who're you?
Naked ascetic.
Look more like aroused ascetic.
You think it's necessary?
- Yes - Yes, you do.
Turn this way.
- All right, sir. - Okay. That's really full.
There is a score.
You can do this gag.
Okay? This is basic, right?
What a pity!
- Master? - What?
Could you please adjust the AC?
You're cold? Poor boy! Okay!
Shit! They got me!
I don't believe it. All joints are broken.
Boneless men!
- Hey Master! - Master!
I gotta tell you something? Don't?!
Master!
Damn it! Master!
How many handsome men you have, Lady of Fortune?
I have 88 of them.
Only 88?
No! 88 is not enough!
We gotta find 150 men.
I thought 88 men are a lot, you want a hundred?
They are all top of the business.
Who you have?
Ken, Um, Mario, Pae, Louis
They all are under our control.
Why don't they? We pay...
Yeah? We pay them much?
And also guarantee them the bright career.
This is truly my dream.
I'm so tired of those clowns.
Hazard will become Handsome University?
But?
The headmaster is still alive.
- Want bamboo leaves? - Yeah? Bamboo leaves?
Just go away, you guys.
Well? We don't wanna go anywhere.
We wanna be friend with you.
Mhek wanna sit with you as a friend.
But I wanna sit with you as a boyfriend.
You best come sit in my heart.
Don't be too uptight! You will soon find your dad.
It's all right?
What did your mom say about him?
Before she died, she said he is at Hazard U.
And he had a birthmark on this butt.
Thanks for keeping me company.
That's okay.
Told you. We can be more than friends.
I'm sitting here as your boyfriend.
That's my gag!
Not sitting like a friend but a boyfriend? Yuck!
You fancy him but he doesn't fancy you.
You lose him to your friend!
That's why you get this!
You're mean!
You know you gotta meet your death.
Are you nuts?
Is it you that killed people in Hazard?
You couldn't harm Petch?
Because it's not her time to die.
It's not her time? But it's your time!
You can't harm me either. I have the golden tray!
What is the golden tray, headmaster?
We'll never how it can do unless we use it?
Here we go!
Headmaster? It is very powerful.
You'll be doomed.
Reflexes into my eyes!
Oh?
Petch? Sand behind me.
- Okay. - Come on!
Headmaster? This golden tray is fantastic.
I'm all right? Look!
But I am? I guess it a bogus one.
Bogus?
Headmaster!
Help me!
Headmaster? Headmaster! Headmaster!
Headmaster! Headmaster!
Everyone? Listen?
Everyone of you is important.
Headmaster!
Yes?
You all? Are my hope?
You all have to bring back Hazard.
Headmaster!
Why keep calling my name? I'm about to die!
Headmaster!
The headmaster has passed?
Guys! We gotta get outta here!
- Where to? - Now!
- Why? - Trust me? Hurry up!
What about the headmaster?
Just let him there? Come!
Okay? Wait for me.
Nobody cares about me.
Attention! There is an emergency.
We'll have an urgent executive meeting.
- Which way? - This way!
Holy shit!
We're in deep shit.
Hold on!
Where are you leading us to?
Just follow me.
Those kids stirred up trouble and run away.
Where are those five rats?
I didn't see them?
But someone saw them run away.
Let's go!
They tried to kill me and still don't feel contrite.
They are behind all of this mess.
Not to mention the death of the headmaster.
What?
Hurry up!
"Master of funny mime" - Baby Mime
What kind of a wizard? He's black as coal.
What is wrong with being black?
None of your business!
What?
Follow me?
I'll show you a safe place.
Understand?
Come on!
Can we trust this black man?
How dare you ask?
Are you coming with me or what?
How can we go?
I have a van!
Damn! Your van?
Are you coming or not?
Sure!
Get in!
What are you chanting?
I don't know.
Kam si ri he.
What?
Kam si ri he.
What you say?
Come sit right here!
Why didn't you say it clearly?
Why you standing for? Sit down!
All 'comedian's souls' are in there.
I've locked them in there.
Mean ghosts?
Comedian's souls' I've locked up
are ready to kick up a fuss any time.
All of you must "knoow" about it?
"Knoow" what?
Knoow? Like in knowledge / Know!
Say clearly? R and L for example.
Why you rolling your tongue for L?
R is in the L? Yeah!
So... an hour from now?
I'm waiting.
And then what?
"1 hour later"
Run for your life!
What now?
Hin? What's wrong with you?
Hin?
What's got into you?
My name is not Hin.
Then who?
S? Sayan? S- S-S?
Sayan Sanya?
Stupid!
S? Sayan? Eating shit.
Shit!
Sayan ghost possesses Hin.
What should we do?
Give me? Some shit.
Crave for shit.
You two go find shit for him.
You too! Go find the shit? Hey!
Petch!
- Where is she? - What happened to Petch?
My name is not Petch.
What your name?
My name is Nong Sai.
Nong Sai!
The famous Nong Sai?
Yes, that one.
Get out of here!
You two? Wait!
Where are you going?
I'm following my friends.
I wanna be with you.
But I don't. My mom requested it.
I'm a star.
If you're a star, I'm the moon.
I'm younger than you!
I won't fight back.
But I will. Let me go or I'll hit you.
S-S-Shit
Your shit stinks!
This way! This way!
This way!
Mhek!
Why teaching us to run away from ghost?
Where's Mhork anyway?
Tanon? Are you okay?
I'm okay.
Damn! Bastard!
Are you cold? Let me give you a hug.
I'm not feeling well. I'm kind of down!
Shitface!
Where are you going? Let him hug.
Mhek!
Master Tuay?
Joey! You scared the shit out of me!
No? It's not time for a joke.
By the way,
what kind of ghost is in you?
I'm Zee-oui! I'm gonna eat your liver!
No! It's through! I'm out of here!
You mess with a wrong guy? Oops!
I'm gonna kill you!
Are you real?
Yes, it's you! Where have you been?
Tanon's possessed by a ghost?
Mine is more freaking.
Joey was taken by Zee-oui. He's eating my liver.
Behind you! And behind me!
My mom asked me!
That's Joey! He's gonna eat our livers.
Liver, liver, liver. Run!
Let's go.
- Don't follow me? - I wanna eat the liver!
I'm not going?
Shit!
There he is.
I wanna eat the liver!
- I wanna eat the liver! - I haven't had breakfast.
I'm gonna eat the liver?
It gotta be you. I can't do it.
I believe you can.
What you do that for?
Shit!
Shit?
Shit!
Why you scratching my knee?
Yuck!
"1 hour later"
You have passed the course?
Advanced to the freaking level.
I'm proud... of... you.
No, no, no. Shut up!
Hey Hin! What are you eating?
Sh? Shit.
What the hell?
Headmaster!
Don't!
It tastes good.
What's so good?
We don't have anything left to teach you.
It's now your turn to take back Hazard.
What? What you say?
I got stabbed.
Who could have stabbed you?
This son of a bitch!
What prank are you playing?
And who the hell are you?
Secretary Kerk!
Shut up! I'm now no longer a secretary.
From now on, I'm the headmaster of Hazard!
Who appointed you?
I appointed myself, you black ass!
Black your ass!
Who you think you are? Insulting me?
Get out! You charcoal!
How dare you!
Master Joey! Wait for me!
Fag!
Call me a fag?
I'm safe now.
Oh shit!
Mr. Headmaster?
Are you all right? Sit here.
Where is Petch?
I think she might got captured.
Yeah.
What should we do?
That's it! I don't wanna be the savior.
How about Petch?
She just got detained.
We give up being saviors, she'll be released.
How could you say that shitty thing?
We must rescue our friend!
Who do you think you are? You're so tough, big bear?
You called me big bear?
I'm your senior, remember?
Senior? But not dad!
- What do you want? - All right!
Enough! You guys?
Enough!
You're here just to look for your dad?
Stay away from this!
Where am I now?
Confused, huh?
This is my office? The headmaster office!
And this is my new secretary.
A bitch of fortune!
Watch your mouth!
I'm the new secretary of Handsome University.
Handsome?
Correct!
The center of handsome hunks of the nation.
What about our Hazard University?
The clowns are history.
Right!
Your Hazard U. Meets its end as well!
The comedy never die.
Hazard will live on!
Help me!
Petch? Did they do anything to you?
- Yes! - We'll help you.
Oh? Wow! Two of you can save her?
Better save your bodies back home instead.
With only two us? We'll fight!
Don't you know the story of Rahu engulfing Venus,
Comedians are in bad luck are all bullshit.
Including you all?
The five saviors! That's something I made up!
We don't care even if it's bullshit.
Let our friend go now!
If I do so easily, I can't be a villain then!
Yes!
Fight them!
Forgot two of us already?
You fag murderer!
I'm not a fag murderer!
I'm a gay murderer? You toothpick!
You're back! Thank you for coming back.
It's nice that five saviors are here.
How about having a competition?
Between Hazard and Handsome?
Which one will be the winner?
What if we win?
I and my secretary will walk out from this place.
And what if I win?
We will leave this place.
Why don't you ask me first?
We'll go find money to build a new Hazard.
Despite our bad credit? I don't care!
Good! Let's start the competition outside.
Go!
Welcome everyone to the pop quiz?
This game is called "The weakest linga"
The members of Handsome team are?
Namo and Boyd
Anyone answers a question correctly,
he will get a ball...
For throwing the opponent over the well.
If he can throw the opponent to drop down,
the point will be rewarded to his team.
Right on!
Very sweet!
Got it.
The first question is?
How is a burning toast similar to a pregnant lady?
- I know. - Wrong button!
Answer!
Superman!
- Wrong! - Eraser!
Wrong!
I'll answer.
You.
It didn't take out on time.
Correct!
I don't get it. Explain.
If he took his thing out quick, she wouldn't get pregnant.
You're right! You get one ball.
Throw it!
Don't throw a person!
You'll miss.
The second question?
Who is the most handsome man in the world?
He knows! He knows!
Who?
Nack Charlie
- He's not even compared to Jack - Wrong!
Me! Me! Artie Boonchu.
You can answer now, Namo.
The only handsome man I know.
Who?
Master Kerk!
Fantastic!
You're a gay. How could you handsome?
Beautiful gay comes from handsome guy.
The winner get another ball!
Throw it now.
Loser.
- Miss! - Are you crossed eyes?
How is it? Tired?
We surely won't get any point.
Whatever we say is wrong!
But whatever they say is always right!
They're cheating.
Master Joey?
This is a way out from the headmaster.
Use it during emergency.
But it's not a bowl!
Take it! Take it! Quickly!
Quickly!
Don't worry. Do your best.
Where has he gone?
What are you guys doing?
Let's continue the game. What is that pot?
Are you broking the rule?
Give me that pot.
Okay, I'll be back to my place.
Hand it over.
Didn't you hear? Give it!
Tied it up very well.
Chicken soup extract?
I just stole it?
Chicken soup extract for brain?
Its ingredient... MSG 100%.
MSG?
Whoever eats it will be temporarily mute.
Really?
The tongue is numb.
Headmaster's plan is genius.
Who are you calling?
1145 Chester Grill delivery!
Good!
Let me?
Let's share it?
I'm hungry.
That's a stick, Hin.
- Tell you? - What?
Our team will surely win.
Why?
We have? A trump card.
Second round? The question is?
What horse can fly?
Your turn? Namo.
What kind of horse can fly?
Master.
I know! I know! Just shut up!
Go ahead.
Your fucking Daddy's horse can fly.
Right.
Give me the ball!
Clever!
Throw a ball at them.
Throw it!
Idiot!
Throw them! We're on the same team.
I'm sorry.
Fine! If you wanna play like that?
The next question is?
How does a goat cry? Answer!
Correct.
A goat cries? Brah! Brah!
What would we call abnormal person in brief?
- Ab? - Correct!
No, this is wrong!
Next is the deciding question?
President of the comedy association is Tua...
Handsome win with the score 1-0.
Are you all right, Hin?
My piles are bleeding, no cushion to sit on.
You want me to call an ambulance?
The second game is EQ contest.
Both teams have to rescue the hostage.
Do you see a woman up there?
Why you dump me, Tom?
She's in grade 10, just broke up.
She's about to jump.
The guy over there got overamped
and about to jump as well.
Both teams have to rescue both of them.
If you're ready? Let's start!
Hold on!
"Jack-AF4" - Methus Triratanawareesin
Music!
No? No? Please don't do it
Because the one you love will be heartbroken
Want you to think carefully
Don't let the emotion overwhelm
You still have me who has been caring about you
I'll always take care of you
no matter what and how you are
Please don't do it
I do love you
It's my fortune to got a chance to know you
Just close your eyes
and you'll find me forever
I'll care for your heart helping you relaxed and at ease
No? No? Please don't do it
So cute!
My life sucks!
No!
You! You!
Who are you?
We're DSI, Special case Investigation.
We're here to help you.
No! If you step in, I'll jump.
Let me handle this!
Take it easy, man!
What happened? Why do you wanna jump?
Psycho murderer is trying kill me!
Don't you see?
Easy, man!
Calm down! Don't jump. No murderer anywhere.
- Petch? Talk to him - No murderer.
Calm down.
Just calm down.
If one step closer, I'll jump!
Guys! Get back!
What do we do?
He said a killer is after him and he'll jump.
Using headmaster's pot?
That's right!
It's too small.
- How it gets bigger? - Indeed.
Careful.
Comedy costumes!
Man! Don't do it!
A cop!?
No! I have your wife with me.
Come on!
Honey? Please don't jump?
If you die, how am I gonna live?
You crippled slut!
Call me a crippled? Ticking me off!
Because of you!
You slept with another man!
Why are you scratching?
- You make it itchy. - You cheated on me!
I wanna die!
No? Not yet! I bring your kid too.
Your girl.
- What is this? - Come on!
Sweetie.
D-D-Daddy.
Yes?
Daddy? Don't die... I love you.
You're retard. I don't love you.
Why you say that? Want me whoop your ass?
Please take care of your mom?
No! And your dad...
Dad.
Your dad.
Listen? My son?
Why are you jumping the building? It's stupid.
He's imported from overseas!
Listen to me first. Remember me?
I got a tiger tattoo here.
Moron! Those are letters.
If you jump, I'll screw your wife.
I'll shack up with her all night.
Stop it! My dad's gone!
Who the hell I am? Not his dad?
No, no, no!
Hold on!
Pai!
Big bear!
Get down here or this little panda is dead!
No!
I'm tossing it away!
Easy! That's the national heritage!
No? It's imported from China!
All right? I give in.
Get down here!
I surrender?
Don't get too much amp
It racks you up like this.
Try the mosquito repellant instead.
You're the one who understands me.
"Hazard 1: Handsome 2"
The third game?
The rule is... within 10 minutes?
The performance that attracts the majority
of the 100 audience is the winner.
On the right... is Handsome team!
Led by DJ Seed!
And on the left is?
Hazard.
Begin!
I'm the king of this town.
And I'm the queen.
I'm now 9-month pregnant.
9-month pregnant?
Yes?
Fantastic!
My wife is Perd Mouy Pua.
What is that?
Give my wife a massage.
Come on.
Oh shit! It hurts!
Bring the doctor here! Hurry up!
Doctor?
Wow!
Funny doctor?
My wife is having a baby.
Could you help her deliver the baby?
No problem, Sire.
Come on! Her majesty?
Hold on, Sire.
- My wife! - Okay? Sorry.
Hello?
- What did my baby say? - He said he's fine.
When will he come out?
Your mom wanna know when will you come out?
He said "Why won't you help me out?"
Get him out! What red cloth?
Your baby is a bull.
Honey? I can't hold it anymore?
Yes! You rock the house!
My baby is not a bull.
What? Such a mess!
Congratulations! A baby boy.
Panda cub?
Did you have an affair with this panda?
That's not true.
How long are you gonna keep playing?
Laughing like crazy!
Everyone's just gone.
What should we do?
Nobody wanna see us.
How about we go back? We still have time.
Come on. Let's go!
Nobody seems to care about our show.
Lose this game, we lose the competition.
Let's use the headmaster's pot.
- Yeah? Good idea! - Mhork? Where is the pot?
One, two, three?
The pot's gone!
Stolen!
What's inside?
Open and see it.
Must be some kind of trick.
What is it?
A camera!
Let me see?
When you open the third pot?
That means you desperately have no way out.
But I'm still so proud of your attempt
to bring Hazard back this far?
Therefore? I have a final plan?
To end this catastrophe.
Whenever there is no Hazard?
There must not be Handsome.
This camera has been rigged.
It will blow up everything completely.
The names of five of you?
Will be in my mind?
And with all Hazard.
Oh! I forget!
This bomb is not typical.
It is an enormous stink bomb.
It contains the fart of all comedians.
Its smell is too stinky to explain.
Shit!
If they can bare it, let them!
What is that?
Smells like fucking shit!
Lady Fortune!
Help! Help me!
Help Madam Kerk! Please help Madam Kerk!
Say it slowly, could you?
Help Madam Kerk!
What happened?
He stuck at the arena. I don't know if he's still okay. Help him!
That's what he deserves!
You're mean! How could you say that?
What do you want us to do?
We're the savior of Hazard?
Secretary Kerk is also our teacher.
We gotta help him out.
Let's go, guys!
Okay. We'll help him.
Everyone? Find yourself a protection!
Guys? Let's go.
He's back!
Oh my! I need fresh air!
Thank you guys for saving my life.
Otherwise, I must have puked to death.
What's the next competition? Score is now even.
No more competition!
You guys won the 3 points.
The first point, winning on stage.
The second point, saving my life.
The third point, making me repent.
How about Hazard?
Hazard is now back to normal.
Yeah! Yeah!
We've surrounded this place.
- Polish officer. - Police!
I? Captain Nathan of Hazard station!
Have to arrest Mr. Kerk for murdering comedians.
Please cooperate with us.
Otherwise, we have to use force.
Is this some kind of joke? I'm confused.
- Sergeant!? - Yes, sir.
Take Secretary Kerk to the station.
Yes, sir!
This way.
Wait! I have to be in jail?
Yes!
Oh! I gotta be in jail for real?
Let's give applause for the saviors of our Hazard!
Since we got Hazard U back?
You should have the headmaster back, right?
Yes!
Welcome the headmaster of Hazard U!
Headmaster! Headmaster!
Headmaster!
That's really him!
Finally?
The day I've long been waiting for.
Comedians, like us, are now back on our feet!
From now on, comedians will be popular?
Being with everyone.
I gotta say sorry to Tanon?
You still look for your dad, don't you?
I remember. He has a birthmark on his butt, right?
Yes.
Tanon! Your dad got a birthmark on butt?
Don't tell us that?
You are Tanon's dad?
Unbelievable! They are much alike!
I also have a birthmark? Look!
That's enough? Black ass!
Black your ass! What?
Why are you still using this joke?
Your case is a joke?
But mine is real? Take a look!
Papa
Child.
Papa.
Oh, I'm so glad? Oh dear!
I'm glad that you two finally meet.
But there is something more.
I'll introduce my new secretary.
Here he comes!
Give him a welcome applause!
The new secretary is Uncle Bear?
No! You come with an engagement gift?
What's wrong?
Engagement gift?
Engagement?
Just be gentle. Everyone? Meeting is over!
- Good luck, sir. - Bye.