Dead, dead, dead
His spirit is dead
- Stop! - What?
- What are you doing? - The riff.
My ass! That was a solo.
- That a solo or not? - Sort of an arpeggio.
A solo is virtuosity, and virtuosity is...
- Contemptible. - Virtuosity, yeah...
Shut up. This piece is killer,
but it sounds like a slow.
Take it from the top.
All the way from the top.
I'm coming.
It's 6 p.m. I have to set up the tables.
Shit! The babysitter!
The tour's gonna be a nightmare.
Did you talk to Yoyo?
It's Yue-Yu.
You talk to her about Romania?
I was waiting for confirmation.
I can't confirm if we have no wheels.
I'll talk to her.
I'm warning you...
Next fall, we practice Sundays
and Thursdays.
Death to passion, death, death.
Death to routine, to schmaltz, to early mornings.
Death to work, family, country.
Death to comfort and good intentions.
Death to love.
And through my voice
may Death show its true face.
Alexandre,
I'm ready.
I'm coming.
Sleep tight.
By the way,
a man called for you.
Who was it?
I can't remember.
What did he want?
It's okay.
He'll call back.
Or else promise me something.
Go off to camp with your pals.
But when you get back, a haircut.
What?
My hair is my personality.
- I won't touch it. - Second...
Shit, there's more?
Quit all this satanic rock nonsense.
First, it's not nonsense.
It's very real.
Second, it's not satanic rock.
It's Black Metal. Totally different.
And third,
I...
It's not that easy.
- You're scared of Alex. - I am not.
- You're scared of Alex. - I am not!
Stop that. I'm not a teenager!
I run a business. I earn a living. I keep this joint going.
I'll get him in here and tell him what's what.
Can I have a fork?
I was just thinking, we could...
Who is it?
No one, it's Erik.
Good evening.
What do you want?
It's Rita... the mother of a kid I give guitar lessons to.
She was sort of putting me up and we were...
We had a clash and... Some monogamy crap.
No more babes.
I quit. I've had it.
Got a dictionary?
What mugs.
On top of Romania we might have a gig in Ukraine.
I get it...
Did you know boor isn't an animal?
To obtain quality strawberries, French producers use two systems...
Indoor and outdoor production.
Plants are kept off the ground
or planted in compost beds.
All our strawberries are protected by tunnels.
Did it go okay?
Sure, great.
And the rehearsal?
You know what?
I'm much happier with the kids
than drinking and hammering my bass.
Don't say that.
What about the tour?
It's nowhere.
You've got as many lives as you like, and more,
even ones you don't want.
HAPPY FU
Is it a music problem?
I still like Black Metal, that's not the problem,
but to listen to, to relax.
Like me.
Anyway if I do it, it's for you.
Really?
With the restaurant...
For me, it's Michele. All alone with the kids.
Don't sweat it. I was gonna quit.
- No shit? - Not at all.
I'm a Guitar Hero. I haven't soloed in 15 years.
I'm quitting, too.
Me, too.
Happy birthday, Rocky.
Satan is with us, guys.
You almost missed the cake.
Let's open the gifts.
Come on, kids.
Hellfest called me. They want us.
The Hellfest?
Wait a minute... who... how...?
A band cancelled. But so what? It's a sign.
You know who's headlining?
Dozzy Cooper.
Holy shit, Dozzy Cooper!
We play Sunday.
What do you mean?
Hellfest is this Sunday?
I see you stay with it.
They need a French Black Metal band. There're scarce.
It's too big for us.
You'll have to blast it like never.
Hellfest.
Hey]
Who gave the kid a bayonet?
It's real. I scoured 20 antique shops.
It even killed Germans.
MY bayonet!
For her meds, Debridat 50 noon and night,
Levothyrox 75 in the morning.
And a glass of wine
with every meal.
I know, but she enjoys it.
First question, Francis:
What for Karl Marx was the opium of the masses?
French pop.
- Religion? - Right you are.
What are you doing?
Breaking it in.
It'll take years at this rate.
I have a 5-year car loan up my ass.
I'm not fucking it up after two miles.
How about some music? This silence is killing me.
Put some on.
I'll turn on the player.
What's that?
Sorry. That's Yue-Yu's.
There.
I hadn't seen the system. Not bad. It must be out of the future.
CD player.
It even has shuffle mode.
- Shuffle your ass and sit down. - All right.
Nobody changes the order of a CD, is that clear?
Imagine reading and changing the page order.
Well, I never read.
Jerks like you turn Metal into nonsense.
Bass boost?
Bass boost.
No more skulls, maces, fire balls.
I kept it simple: Dead Stifs. Period.
Cool.
So we keep the spelling error?
I also made a dragon version for Asian audiences.
Shoulda asked me. It's the year of the Rabbit.
I'm not sticking a rabbit on a Black Metal t-shirt.
Second: since you're nervous, we won't go directly to Hellfest.
What?
What's the game?
We'll do a warm-up gig on the road
just to bond the group.
I wanted to see concerts.
You're a tourist at heart when you should be a demi-god.
We're this year's music scene.
Have you pissed in your john lately?
There's panpipe music! That's fascist.
The longer we wait, the harder.
Same here when I gotta go.
No, harder to say we quit.
So let's tell him.
We have to.
Let's make tracks. I smashed his radio.
You sure it's here?
Did you tell them what we do?
Guys, when you believe in your music, you can play anywhere.
Oh, my God.
Outrageous.
What's that?
Is there a problem?
Good timing, Batman.
Here.
- What's that? - The rental.
Put it away and turn the sound back on. We have to keep warm.
That's sick stuff. There's been a mixup.
Hold on.
We had a deal. I paid, we play, period.
Not if you scare customers away.
I'm the customer.
Get out.
Want me to wipe off your makeup?
- Everything okay? - Just great.
- What's going on? - The man loves what we do.
What's that?
We got paid?
Sure. It's for you.
And this is for you.
Do we continue?
Gimme 5 minutes.
Have a drink while I settle something.
Shit.
There a problem?
Get me my shotgun.
Alex... we gotta tell you something.
Me too. I'm proud.
We've had some mythic concerts but that one shoots to the Top Five.
We played two minutes.
Two brilliant minutes.
Which that audience is not about to forget.
That's for sure.
See that blonde in the middle?
The pharmacist?
How do you know she's a pharmacist?
She looked like one.
What faces!
If we keep this spirit we're gonna knock 'em dead.
But fix your squirters.
No kidding. I almost fired myself.
What were you going to say?
You sure this is the way to the campground?
Sure. Quit worrying.
What was that?
Is he stupid or what?
The guy from the Star Club!
He's sick!
Why's he doing this?
I don't know.
Maybe because I pissed on his console before leaving.
What?
So much for his crappy music.
Don't do stuff like that!
Hicks are dangerous, they're not civilized like us.
It's okay. He's gone.
It's not okay.
I'm sure he dented my fender.
Yue-Yu is gonna kill me.
You can't see a fucking thing.
You're a pain, Alex.
We're not at war with the world.
I'm just at war with assholes.
Satan wrapped us in his black cape.
Leave Satan out of this.
Leave Satan out of this!
Since we're talking serious,
about next fall...
We've all been thinking, we have to talk to you.
What then? What about?
- Thursdays? Is that it? - Watch out!
He's fucking with us.
Shit!
Call 911.
He's dead.
Is he dead?
I can't get a signal. Can you?
- We're lost. - I'll get mine.
Shit, he's dead.
Listen.
Stop, you asshole!
There's been a mixup.
We have to catch him.
Tell him it's not our fault.
We don't touch anything.
Touch what you want. Even with a good lawyer...
We'll do 6 months.
What?
I can't go to jail. I have loans to pay.
He tried to kill us. It's not our fault.
Tell that to the cops.
He threatened him in front of 20 witnesses.
And don't forget, we have a record.
Shit.
We were 15 years old.
For two shovels-full!
It was still desecration of a cemetery.
Meanie!
Quit flipping out and listen.
If we vanish without a trace and shut off our phones,
they can't know it was us.
"It was us?"
One: Our concert wasn't announced. No one knows us.
Two: I made all the calls from the unemployment office.
Three: if the driver
took our plate number, I'll cut my balls off.
SO what?
We leave him here?
Glory to Satan, prince of devils
Humbly your servants entrust to you
This emcee of nightly revels
What are you talking about?
- What is it? - No acceleration.
Something stuck in the engine.
Turn right here.
- Where? - That dirt road.
Welcome to Strawberry Fields
"I'm not afraid of death because I don't believe in it.
It's just getting out of one car, and into another."
Fucking hell!
Start, you fucker!
She'll murder me.
Call a tow truck.
Sure.
With your name and address.
Listen... Hear that?
Are they looking for us?
We gotta get outta here.
No, we gotta lie low.
What about the van?
- I located the numbers. - It's all I found.
I changed my mind.
- No, I don't want to. - It'll be over in a flash.
No, don't do it!
It had to be clone.
Think he had a family?
Who?
The gUY-
I'm no expert but...
He well might have.
I thought about it last night.
I thought, the dead man on our road:
a strong sign for our group.
I've fucking had it!
I need help here.
That's what you get for choosing drums.
Just a joke. It's okay.
It's not okay.
Who am I talking to?
Sure, it's nothing to you, you have nothing.
What do you do all day but strum and bang chicks?
Then where do you go?
What would you do without us?
Know what SocSec is?
Sort of.
Sort of? Cool.
Well, I owe them a fortune.
If I don't pay up by summer, I shut down!
And what do I tell the van insurance?
Asshole.
Hey, guys, we're experiencing incredible moments.
This is stuff we can say in interviews. Journalists love it.
Except for your SocSec thing.
That's not so cool.
What are you talking about?
Interviews.
You don't get it.
The band's dead, finished.
Meaning?
We talked it over and decided to quit.
Quit?
You know...
split, break up,
not play together, end our collaboration,
in the long term.
Why didn't anyone tell me?
- We tried but... - There was Hellfest.
There's still Hellfest.
Hang on. You think that even if we get out of this shit,
we'll expose ourselves at Hellfest?
I have kids now.
And I have the restaurant.
And I have... plans.
The plan is clear.
We lie low for 24 hours to avoid any roadblocks.
We find a way to skip out of here nice and easy
and return to the homes we shouldn't have left in the first place.
It's me, honey. I left early and forgot:
you have swimming today, so take your bag
and make sure you dry your hair, okay?
Kisses. See you tonight.
What?
HQ wants to know if we postpone rehearsal.
Are you joking?
We can downright cancel it.
What?
Bureau of Investigation's here.
We'll see. Call you back, okay?
The B.I. wants to know why it took 8 hours
to find the body.
It's Jojo.
The witness. We know him.
So when he turned up jabbering about vampires
he got an Alcotest right off.
The guy's BAC was 0.30.
So we stuck him in the drunk tank.
After that, it took time
to question him again and check...
So, by this time, even if they're driving at 40 mph,
the vampires could be in Portugal,
or even Belgium.
That's true.
In which case there's no point in roadblocks.
No point.
That's a relief.
For traffic flow, I mean.
We're expecting crowds tomorrow. It's the strawberry fest.
How do we proceed?
What do you suggest? You seem full of ideas.
No point in all 4 stealing a car.
It increases chances of getting nabbed.
Let's draw lots.
No lots. With my luck I always lose.
I say Alex goes. It's his fault.
It's my fault now?
Right, it's your fault.
He chased us out at gunpoint.
I emptied my savings to rent his fucking club.
You rented his club?
Why'd you do that?
So you'd be good.
So we'd be ready for tomorrow.
I'll get you a van. And not because it's my fault.
But because
I never run out on anyone.
We're all going.
Okay, but not like this.
What do you mean?
Bunch of assholes!
Your hair'd get us spotted a mile away.
I could have tied it back
in a ponytail.
As for tattoos...
Hold on...
Go ahead.
They were like zombies.
Like vampires.
What time was it when you heard the car go?
I don't know.
If you don't know, forget it.
Put out an APB with that?
All-Points Bulletin?
Okay, I know what an...
APB is.
Urgent, therefore.
Asshole.
Julia?
I see you're studying hard.
Turn it down, please?
That's what they reminded me of. Who are they?
WWI (Tyou care?
Do you know them?
Who are they?
Honey, if you snuck out
I won't punish you. But tell me if you've seen them.
I've never seen them before.
What'd they do?
A concert nearby.
Was it good?
A killer.
No kidding.
Warn me when I can sneak out.
Quit playing the martyr.
You're the one taunting me.
You're right.
Mom, you sure I can't go to Hellfest?
I worked it out.
Dozzy Cooper is in Europe every 15 years.
You'll have your license.
But he'll be 80. Lend me your car.
Get off me with your Hellfest.
Fuck.
What would be best for the gear is a butcher's van.
Or a school bus.
It's all clear.
Enough of this shit.
I've got corn in my pants.
It's a bummer about the band.
Don't start, please.
I'm just saying so because I was going to make changes.
You should sing.
- Stop, I said. - What?
You have great stage presence. Why waste it?
You need self-confidence.
You're not just fat.
Here.
Pick one.
To think he made me say on school radio
that my grandpa raped me, just for the group image.
It's not funny.
He has to get a job.
Even a shitty one, like yours.
Something that structures him as an adult,
to give him a sense of reality...
Say, I'm doing an audition.
You are?
Reality TV, as you said.
They love my tattoos. I have a meeting in Paris.
You're shitting me.
I didn't say, because of the group.
Bust we're breaking up so... I'll be more selective with chicks.
What a big fat turd!
Why?
Say what you like about Alex,
he's a real turd, but he has turdish integrity.
You deny 15 years of beliefs to stick a feather up your ass.
Honestly,
you make me sick.
- Why did I say? - What?
That we stop Black Metal, okay.
That we kill a guy, why not?
But reality TV...
There are limits!
Fuck!
Your child is a rat, fruit of vice
I slash his skinny legs to piss
What is this?
What?
Give me your children My razor will restore their smile
What's with you?
I've been singing that stuff for years.
No one understands your lyrics!
Don't take it personally. It's not your kids.
It's kids in general.
Michel Berger's dead?
Sure he is.
The guy that sang, Oh beautiful mountain...?
That's Jean Ferrat.
Jean Ferrat? The one who lives alone with his mother?
- That's... - No, that's Aznavour.
And all those guys are dead?
- All of 'em. - Aznavour's still alive.
He's been dead for ages!
- You nuts? - He is!
Henri Salvador's the one still alive.
We don't mean the same guys, so...
I know where they are.
At a Heavy Metal fest 250 miles away.
I bet they were headed there.
Got the local gendarmes' number?
Tell the guys. We're heading out.
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
Four of them.
Four.
Age 20-40, tattoos, long hair, dressed in black, rocker style.
I'll send descriptions.
Have any IDs? Descriptions won't be enough.
There's a truck, but guard clogs, too. Gotta return after dark.
Sure, everyone knows clogs don't keep watch at night.
They kick back and drink beer.
- What's with him? - Skip it.
- What about you? - We found a combine harvester.
Ride a combine for 400 miles?
That's all we found.
There's nothing else but strawberries.
It's that or we ride a cow home.
If we're not gone tomorrow,
I'll bury the gear and walk home!
No one buries my gear!
I'll pay you back.
You found the magic words.
Can it.
Lay off.
Get the lab results yet?
The blood on the road is actually a mix of ketchup and coffee.
Honestly!
Can't you take it seriously
for once something happens around here?
I swear that's what they told me.
Ketchup and coffee. I'm as stumped as you are.
We're taking all this real seriously.
Come on, get moving.
One, two, three, four...
Look, I owe you guys an apology.
I haven't taken all your aspirations into account.
I'm sorry.
Since we have time, it might be a good idea
for everyone to speak his mind
about how to get along better.
Forget about it.
The band is dead.
I'm not talking about music.
I'm talking about friendship.
We're not just musicians.
So we're no longer buddies?
Is that it?
I dunno... Pascal,
while you're at it,
go ahead.
We're listening.
I'm listening.
All the crap in my life is your fault.
The arrest in the cemetery,
the lousy tours,
seeing a man die,
my van.
When shit happens, you're there.
I've noticed that.
Okay. That's good.
It's good to let off steam.
Yeah, it had to come out.
I'll just say thanks.
So“.JP?
I don't see why we have to stay friends
and have this moronic discussion.
What's with you?
I'm disgusted.
No, there.
You've got red blotches.
That's nothing.
It's nothing?
You're covered with them.
What do you care, anyway?
Okay, 1'll tell you.
But not a word to my grandma.
About what?
I swear, if you say anything, I'll cream you!
About what, for chrissakes?
I'm ill.
You're ill?
I have cancer.
I have cancer!
Skin cancer.
What?
What is this?
From the tattoos?
No shit.
Your hair's gonna fall out?
I'll have to wear a skull cap in summer.
Like a rapper.
That's why I want this concert so bad.
Oh, man.
A great memory to take to chemo.
I thought maybe we could...
Maybe give it some thought,
like...
Strawberries?
Are you nuts?
What the hell you doing?
It's a rash. He ate too many strawberries.
Cancer, or a rash from strawberries?
My daughter gets it, too.
So that's what kids are for.
- Fuck! - What an asshole!
What's...
Julia? You home?
Julia, open up.
What?
I need your help.
What you should know is,
Black Metal is way more extreme than Heavy Metal.
No comparison.
- I know what you're gonna say. - Do you?
Heavy Metal comes from hard rock
which comes from rock, which comes from...
Blues. Exactly.
Well, blues is the tritone.
What's the blues?
A series of strange chords,
as if they were cursed.
The devil's note.
In the early 1980s,
a revolution!
Brit rockers can the blues influence and impose their own folklore,
drawing on classical music...
And even Celtic music.
All that led to Heavy Metal.
A huge variety of styles came along:
Speed Metal...
Trash Metal...
Death Metal...
In the early 1990s
came the most radical, the gloomiest,
the most satanic version of Metal:
Black Metal.
What's that?
Dead Stifs unplugged.
I like it.
Yes, it's nice.
Nice. That's just it.
Why not Besame Mucho?
Keep it UP-
Hey]
Your tattoos won't go away.
You can't erase 15 years easily.
Or it means what you did for those 15 years was worthless.
Is all this meaningless?
You owe yourselves one last concert.
For the road. A farewell concert.
Okay, but then we go our separate ways.
I promise.
Promise?
- You swear? - Swear to God.
I swear.
Well, it's...
my 7th album, so...
I focus on the message because...
it's like a cry for all those who don't believe the crap we get fed.
I'm a free artist.
Totally, absolutely
viscerally free.
So I shop on Tuesdays because it's less crowded.
I like noise.
Interview with Dozzy Cooper, inventor of shock rock.
Hey, I found a van!
Martine, we found the van!
Stop! That's good.
This goes from bad to worse. Look.
Shit.
Set up roadblocks. They may not be far after all.
Did you call the B.I.?
Hands off. They're sending in technicians.
It's a professional job:
no license plates, engine number filed off.
It'll take clays to get it to talk. If it ever does.
Happy Fu, can I help you?
YES, Why?
Is there a problem?
Forget it!
Move it!
Enough outta him.
I think he wants his guitar.
We're not thieves. Hang on.
We swiped ourselves Scooby-Doo's van.
The B.I.
Yes?
Happy now?
Just doing my job.
And we're doing miles! After 24 hours of shitty music!
Loud!
They could very well be at Hellfest.
How would they get there? Hitchhike?
Look.
Stop having ideas.
Stop taking initiative and stick to your fair!
Shit.
What do I do?
Step on it!
Gendarmerie...
Vehicle registration, driver's license,
and ID for all your passengers, please.
You going to the festival?
Well, gentlemen,
I'm sorry to say
that it's behind you!
It's the other way.
What dreamers!
Hey, Mickey, they're going to St. Peperac.
We'll lead the way.
So there really is a Hell.
Did they get lost?
Did they understand?
Go on.
They go on first.
It's the band playing before you.
Go ahead.
What do we do?
He parks and we slip away quietly.
And the gear?
Quit busting our balls about that!
Our name's on each instrument.
Give them a big hand.
William and Guillaume Bingaleau.
They're great, and good-looking,
which helps.
So...
The Conurbation of St. Peperac...
I'm on the selection committee.
I put in a word for you.
I'm a real fan.
I don't think they speak French.
Music is a universal language.
Is this whole town bonkers?
What do we do?
Are there clothes?
In just a moment, All You Need Is Love.
Give them a big hand.
First, Guyot Shancar
and his magic sitar.
Didn't you get a t-shirt?
Sure.
Take that backstage. They need drinks.
Do I have a choice?
Better and better.
Of course it's not real.
But who'd run around with a skeleton?
Hurry, the uniform.
What? I'm listening.
Now that's interesting.
Ballistics says they were shot at.
This is ridiculous.
Why Pajamas?
Get in, your tattoos are showing.
Let's have an ovation for the group we already call
the Beatles of St. Peperac:
All You Need Is Love.
Guys, it's a sign!
A Black Metal concert will wipe
the redneck glee off their faces!
Give them what they want, or I'll tear your head off.
How do I know what they want?
If I smack you with my bass, it's wrong.
And now, All You Need Is Love!
Go on.
Encore!
That was wild! Wild!
Look! Listen!
The first encore of our lifetime!
He was the best.
You put me to shame!
You morons played pop with a smile.
I'm canceling Hellfest.
Skip it. We're not doing Hellfest.
You owe me a concert.
We just played one.
Shall we go back?
What do we risk?
Do that and I split with the van.
You can't quit, I'm firing you!
All three of you!
Who are these guys?
Keep 'em warm for me.
What?
Get a toxicology test ready, please.
Don't freak out. I know everything.
I know you're innocent.
Or if you're not, you had good reasons.
You listening?
Okay, we gotta hurry. The others were arrested.
Bunch of jerks.
Look,
I'll get to the point.
Take me to Hellfest.
Don't be a fucktard. Take me!
Beat it. Fuck the Hellfest.
No way! It's the Hellfest, dammit!
Why do you say fuck it?
Who are you?
My grandmother's dead.
Excuse me?
My grandmother's dead. Why am I telling you?
Was she ill?
We didn't smear it with blood. The singer's squirter went off.
Right. Tell me another one.
You doing this on purpose?
It was a stroke of luck.
You don't say. Now look:
I forbid you to proceed without us. Is that clear?
It's clear.
I can't hear.
That damn festival busted my eardrums.
ABBEY ROAD
There are more raffle tickets.
Don't miss out. Hurry.
First prize is your weight in strawberries.
Not for you, Marie-Pierre,
you'd make the town go broke.
It's JP.
Where are you?
In a...
I'll explain.
We know, the gendarmes called.
Yue-Yu and I are on our way.
What happened?
It's a mistake. We didn't kill anyone.
Thanks, I don't doubt it.
Somehow that's reassuring.
Excuse me.
I married a rocker.
I see guys who have it together at the office every clay. Yuck.
I love you.
Well?
They're on their way.
With Yue-Yu? She knows?
I think I'd rather go to jail.
She's been on my click for weeks.
She wants a kid.
She wants him to be born in spring. It's more Feng-Shui. Nuts!
And we have to wait until she's ovulating.
Then I'm on round the clock. I can't give anymore.
Why are you telling us?
I dunno.
My life's passing before my eyes.
It's so embarrassing.
What clods!
I told you to go after number 4.
I'm not sure, but I think Julia was driving.
Excuse me?
I know where they're going.
Get the B.I. to intercept.
No way!
Georges, please. She's a minor in a stolen vehicle.
If we could keep it quiet...
I suggest you go change
if you go to this metallic festival.
Go on.
Rock and roll!
Thanks, sir.
- Band, disperse! - What?
Take us back to strawberryland before things get worse.
Get worse, how?
Mini-vampire's right.
We gotta do this concert.
You stripped a gear? No way.
We'll do a concert, then give ourselves up.
We just did the gig of a lifetime.
We can play anything. Musically, we walk on water.
And I'm first a rocker.
Who the hell cares! We've got other problems.
Listen to me.
Either we're charged,
and this concert's the last fun we'll have for a while.
- Or they let us go... - And?
In a month Yue-Yu's pregnant.
And this is your last holiday for 15 years.
And that's if you only have one.
Leave him alone.
He already has SocSec trouble.
Okay, let's do it.
Erik?
I agree.
- Just let me do a solo. - Okay.
But we've lost our singer.
So we're back together?
Like any cash-strapped old band?
Except we only split for 5 minutes.
And we never made a dime.
Growing moustaches was just part of being a hippy:
We were turning into Sgt Peppers. As if we were metamorphosing.
Chief! The B.I. guys are coming!
The B.I.
What a nice clay to die.
You taking me for a ride?
I just drove 250 miles the other way.
What's your paddy wagon? A cattle truck?
Either get down to work
or... Damn it!
Go make me coffee.
I have tea if you'd rather.
We're here. What's the deal?
What's this about?
A hot concert: Dead Stifs. Where's the stage?
Where you been? It's over.
You were replaced.
The subs got subbed, right?
Is this a joke?
You can't do this to us.
I already did. Now I'll work on your name.
You'll be blacklisted to Romania!
I must be dreaming!
5 minutes late and you throw a hissy fit?
They were due 3 hours ago!
They're artists, not bus drivers!
You're a minor. Where's your chaperone?
She's my daughter.
When I think you did all this just to see your Dozzy...
It's not! It's so they can go on stage.
You know we're innocent.
And the hit-and-run? Auto theft?
Identity fraud?
Jailbreaking?
Help us, and I'll answer for anything.
No way.
Then I'll tell the judge
your daughter broke us out.
Excuse me?
Just let me go backstage.
I gotta see Dozzy Cooper.
How? I'm no magician.
He's a Norwegian singer.
Fought with his guitarist. I'm taking him back.
Which group?
The Black...
Black what?
The Black...
But is it Black Murder, Black Death, Black Black?
It's this!
If he's not back in 5 minutes,
I leave you guys at security and take you home.
He'll be back.
No he won't. His stunt didn't work.
Yeah, he screwed up.
How can you say that?
He'll miss his grandma's funeral for this!
What?
His grandmother's not dead.
Another crock.
Sure.
What'd he say exactly?
The home helper found her dead in bed.
What a bunch of long faces.
We're on for tonight.
Where?
On the main stage.
Are you okay?
Yeah, great.
Don't you want to sit down
with us?
You don't have to do this concert.
There's a time to play, and a time to chill out.
We'll chill when we're dead.
Hey, metal-heads!
Dozzy's on his way. We're a bit behind,
so to tide you over, a little surprise. So make some noise!
The Dead Stifs!
You sure of this?
Dozzy won't play if these pansies don't open for him.
It's Daddy!
Strong, strong, strong,
My spirit is strong
I don't give a fuck!
Where's the stage?
- It's under control. - What're you doing here?
I took the initiative.
What initiative? For the past hour...
Holy shit!
Hot damn! We did it!
They're all yours.
He really wanted his cross that bad?
Let's take it from the top.
Didn't you give it back to Dozzy?
- The real one? - What?
I don't carry it around.
I made a copy.
If my grandma had seen me sing pop,
she'd have clobbered me.