Tell you what... Read the dosage on the package.
Yes, they go by size.
Get a tablet and hide it in her kibble.
I think half should be enough, but...
look at the dosage... Stop it !
No, sorry, I didn't mean you.
I was talking to my dog.
I have a Labrador, yes.
Get down ! Yes, yes...
Yes, they're very affectionate dogs.
With children, but particularly with adults.
- Where are you going ? - I told you, to Chicca's.
- I don't believe you. - Don't then.
You're seeing Gregorio.
No !
By telling lies, you're hurting yourself more than me.
What a pain ! Chicca and I are meeting the others.
- Gregorio might be there. - Why do you need these ?
- They're not mine. - They were in your bag.
- I'm holding them for Chicca. - Think I'm stupid ?
And stop rummaging through my bag.
God ! You drive me crazy !
I know the feeling !
Rosa, it's late, time for bed. Come with mommy.
- Say night-night to grandma. - Night-night.
- Bye, sweetie. - Bruno, I want you in bed by ten.
- Hear that ? Ten o'clock. - And no fuss.
He doesn't make a fuss with grandma.
- Because you spoil him. - That's not true !
Forget it.
I've stopped taking the pill.
- I'm glad. - Really ?
Yes.
Your daughter spews lies.
- You've got nothing to say ? - Well, she's 17...
- It's normal. - She's going out with Gregorio.
- So ? They're an item. - I don't like him.
- She does. - Rocco, you don't like him either.
No, I don't like him either. But it's pointless trying to stop her.
Your parents didn't like you dating me, but it made no difference.
How many teens have you treated, Eva ? Some still thank you.
- Try to be a bit more detached. - She's my daughter.
- I can't be detached. - You're always criticizing her.
She criticizes me !
- I'll take that. - Thanks.
- Wait, I forgot my phone. - Hurry, it's late !
She's got condoms in her bag.
- How do you know ? - I found them.
- You searched her bag ? - I was looking for something.
Eva !
Sofia's going through the drama of leaving the family unit.
Then let's allow her to without being pains.
It would be wrong, she needs a conflict to define herself,
a model to detach herselffrom, understand ?
Eva, my mother was a green...
- Oh God ! - A greengrocer.
You can't imagine how much simpler it was.
I left the family unit without my parents even noticing.
My mom would ask: "Where's Rocco ?" "Dunno, has he gone out ?"
PERFECT STRANGERS
- Lovely moon. What time's the eclipse? - Dunno.
Why did we call Bruno Bruno ?
- Huh ? - My father'sAmedeo, yours is Ennio.
What were we thinking calling him "Bruno" ? Do you like it ?
So now we're having doubts 10 years later ?
No...
- And don't talk back to mom like that. - Like what ?
Like you did.
- It's biodynamic, will it be okay ? - For 25 euros it'd better be !
- Pull over and we'll get another. - Bianca...
- It's a dinner, not a wine tasting. - But Eva's a nitpicker.
I'm not in the mood to hear her.
Then we'll say I bought it, so she can pick on me.
- What are you doing ? - Taking the price off.
Are you crazy ? 25 euros. Stick it on the cork !
I'll get it.
- Hello. - How are things ?
- Has Peppe arrived yet ? - Not yet.
I made a tiramisu. Cosimo and Bianca are on their way up.
- Okay. Ricotta or mascarpone ? - Mascarpone.
Let's see ifyou have the guts to say yours is better.
Come in.
Hi !
- I made a tiramisu. Sofia ? - In her bedroom.
- I'll go and say hello. - No, leave her be.
- You're at war ? - Guerrilla warfare.
What happened ?
I found condoms in her bag.
No !
- God, what if Rosa does that ? - Rosa's not even 6 !
- Hello ? - Come in. Hi, Bianca !
- Hi. - Hi, everyone. Where's Peppe ?
He's not here yet.
- White. - It's biodynamic.
You fell that hoax...
- Whyjust one bottle ? - It's biodynamic.
- What does that mean ? - It means 25 euros.
Shall we pay him back ? In installments.
- How do you picture this broad ? - "This broad" is Lucilla.
- And don't start. - She must be pretty to be with Peppe.
She mustn't be very pretty to be with Peppe.
- Why not ? - Women like men like Peppe.
- He's a wonderful man. - He's easy to fall in love with.
Yes, he's reassuring, protective, gentle...
- Yes. - What a bore !
"He's easy to fall in love with" ? Watch what you say, blondie.
What if she's old ?
- Like a MILF ! - Eva and I are MILF age.
- Speak for yourself, darling. - I mean a real old lady.
With a perm, a handbag... how do we react ?
- She's got to be better than Emanuela. - Don't even mention her name !
- Who's Emanuela ? - Peppe's ex-wife.
- She was anything but pretty. - No.
Now that it's all over I gotta say that hoarse voice of hers
turned me on a bit.
It was before...
You're saying it was after ? I wouldn't be so sure.
- But she was strange. - Yes.
It's not bad, this bio...
They're here !
Good evening, everyone. Hi, guys.
- What's up ? - Where's Lucilla ?
She has a fever.
- So she's not coming ? - No, she has a fever.
- We really wanted to meet her. - I know, she's disappointed too.
- Do you want me to go ? - No !
- How are you ? - Fine, thanks.
- She's ditched you already. - Don't start that.
- Did you two fight ? - No.
- How old did you say she was ? - I didn't say.
- But she's our age. - Ouch !
- What ? - She's old then.
- It's a mature relationship. - We said no jokes about Lucilla.
- No, it's for Peppe. - Thanks.
- But Lucilla's not here. - Right.
But I am. And you were saying... what ?
- The usual things. - Such as ?
Just... we don't know her, so we were trying to guess.
Will she be tall, short...
The usual, no... Is she a redhead, brunette...
- Blonde. - We even thought she might be gray.
- Gray ? - Yes.
Leave him alone !
- Come on, the eclipse has started. - Let's go !
- I can see two. - There are two.
- I can see two because I can't see. - Use this to focus it...
Now I can see it ! It's lovely.
Lucilla's a nice name.
- Peppe and Lucilla. Sounds good. - Yes.
About Lucilla, why don't you tell us something about her ?
- What do you want to know ? - Are you in love ?
How do I know...
Eva, how do you know ifyou're in love ?
- Why are you asking me ? - You study these things.
I'll tell you. Ifyou talk to her for 30 minutes a day, you're in love.
- What if I talk for 60 minutes ? - Then you're madly in love.
Then you stop talking, which means you're married.
- How long have you been together ? - Awhile, a few months.
Great ! The first sparks. Are you ablaze ?
- Are you ? - I'm ablaze.
- He's ablaze. - I'm ablaze.
Why did you choose tonight to introduce us ?
I didn't choose, itjust happened.
Do you remember the evening I met you all ?
- I was so anxious ! - Why ?
- She was so tense, poor girl. - Meeting Cosimo's friends !
All for this sweet deal here...
From that point ofview, Lucilla wasn't worried.
- Lucky her. - That's why she has a fever !
- I changed outfits 10 times that day. - 20.
But apparently it went well, I feel like one of the gang now.
- Who, you ? - One of the gang ?
No way !
Darling, look at their faces. They're teasing.
- They're teasing. - Of course we are.
- You're our favorite. - Cosimo, you got lucky.
It wasn't luck. Hands off, surgeon.
- Leave me alone ! - Hands off.
How many do you see ?
Two.
- This sauce is good. What is it ? - Capers and olives.
This summer we'll bring a ton of capers back from the seaside.
Here they charge 7.50 euros for a jar this size.
Damn ! I should grow capers on my land in hills.
- Capers in the hills ? - Yeah, 7.50 euros !
Please, you're not growing capers now !
Laugh all you want, it's a good business.
- Any news on the house in Salina ? - Not yet.
- First trip without Chiara and Diego. - I spoke to her, she says hello.
- How is she ? - Miserable, back with her parents.
Her husband's having an affair with a girl their daughter's age...
- It'll take time to get over it. - She's nearing menopause, almost 50.
- She'll never get over it. - I have lots of patients like her.
See ?
- Did you know about it ? - About what ?
- About this girl ? - No.
- Of course they knew ! - Of course.
How could we know ?
- Why, do you tell ifyou know ? - Ifyou're a friend, yes.
You're saying ifwe'd known about it
we should've told Chiara her hubby was screwing a 23-year-old hottie ?
- 23 years old ? - 22.
- Almost 22. - You're a bunch of shits.
No, these are delicate issues.
If all hell breaks loose, they'll say it's your fault
for poking your nose in.
- Peppe's right. - All right, but I'm warning you.
If Cosimo cheats on me, I want you to tell me.
- Ifyou really want to know... - Idiot.
- They'd never give each other away. - They're all the same.
- A losing battle. - We're too different.
Like a PC and a Mac.
- And what are men ? - A PC, obviously.
Cheap, they pick up viruses, and only do one thing at a time.
When Lele's in the shower, he can either wash or sing.
- Otherwise he freezes up. - Very funny !
Hilarious !
And women are Macs. Intuitive, fast, elegant.
Expensive and compatible only among themselves.
Yes, but they're addictive too.
- What will happen to Diego now ? - Nothing.
- He's got no wife and kids. - And a 22-year-old girlfriend.
- A hellish life ! - Having to watch TV talent shows,
going to Justin Bieber concerts, getting drunk on beer...
While your ex strips you of everything: house, money, car...
Don't exaggerate !
- Everything ! - Just ask Peppe.
I'm no example, my wife nearly had to pay me alimony.
A lawyer, however despicable, knows how much a P.E. teacher earns.
Nasty business though ! Afamily breaking up because of a text.
- A 22-year-old slut, you mean. - Almost 22.
But if Chiara hadn't read that text...
So it's her fault for reading it ?
No, but he could've at least deleted the text...
He was screwing a young girl, he should've been careful.
- What ? - Should've been careful about what ?
- About the text or being a shit ? - Don't take it out on me !
Lele, pass me the eggplant patties. It's hot !
Cosimo's right, you do have to be careful.
We have everything in here. It's the black box of our lives.
How many couples would split up if they looked at each other's phones ?
Lele would never let me see his.
What's the problem ? Here, take it.
- Oh I will. - Go ahead.
Lele, cut that out.
- Look, his hand's trembling. - He's turned pale.
I insist you take it, but put yours up here too.
Sure, all you'll find are messages from the pediatrician
and your sister asking about your mom.
- Why does she ask you ? - Do you ever answer your phone ?
- Would you let Cosimo have yours ? - I don't even have a passcode.
Darling, I wouldn't want yours.
Rocco would rather swallow his, wouldn't you, love ?
That's not true. Here. You'll find a few tits and asses,
but all tools of the trade.
So you're saying that none of us has a secret ?
- All saints, apart from Diego ? - Eva, what...
- What secrets could we have ? - We know each other too well.
Yes, let's hope there are some secrets or what a bore !
- Let's play a game then. - What kind of game ?
- We'll find out. - What ?
Come on, we'll all put our phones on the table.
- Then what ? - While we're eating,
texts, WhatsApp messages, calls, whatever arrives, we share it.
- We don't have any secrets. - What sort of game is that ?
- It might be fun. - Think so ?
- Yes. - Come on ! Let's do it.
- Do what ? - This is mine.
- Of course, Lucilla's at home. - I'd take part anyway.
- Not even your mom calls you. - What kind of game is this, Eva ?
- Afun game. - I don't think so.
Got something to hide ?
I'm worried that you might have something to hide.
I don't want to know ifyou're cheating.
If I were cheating, I wouldn't have suggested this game.
Or you are and you want to be found out.
There's this psychological mechanism according to which...
serial-killers do all they can to get found out.
Let's do. We can stop ifwe get bored.
Yes, it's like when we played truth or dare as kids.
So what ? We used to jerk off together as kids too.
- I didn'tjerk offwith you. - No, you did it alone.
- Cosimo, put your phone on the table. - Huh ?
Get your phone out.
- Should I be worried ? - No ! Of course not !
Here you go, it's not a problem.
Are we really doing this ?
It's rude to keep phones on the table while eating.
- Yes, Diego always switched his off. - Lele leaves his face down.
- What ? - You leave it face down.
Think I haven't noticed ?
It's not intentional. I pull out my phone and place it down.
Ifyou scratch the screen it costs 200 euros to replace it.
- 50 in Chinatown. - Let's scratch it then.
Look here, look... I'll put it face up.
I'll get mine. But I'm warning you...
- If mom calls, I'm not answering. - If the allergic dog client calls,
I'm not answering it, otherwise it's all yours.
- Come on, let's see what happens. - You do agree this is really stupid ?
- It's really stupid. - Fucking stupid, come on, guys !
Dad ?
- Sofia. - Hi, Sofia !
- Hello, everyone. - She gets prettier every day.
- She takes after her mother. - Can you come here ?
Excuse me.
Can I have some money, please ?
- Why didn't you ask in there ? - Not in front of mom.
- What happened ? - The usual.
You argued ?
- How old is Sofia ? - 17 in June.
I remember when we celebrated her birthday in Circeo.
- She was 10, right ? - Yes, 10.
- Seems like yesterday. - Great...
"Time flies by so fast !" has been said.
- "This used to be a farm..." - "All Blacks have rhythm."
Don't forget "Pippo Baudo is very professional".
- That's enough, guys. - Hold it, first text.
- It's mine. - Shall we read it ?
Yes.
"I want your body" ? Who's it from ?
- I don't know. - We're off to a good start.
What does it mean ?
- I don't know. - Who sent it ?
The number's not in my phone, I don't know.
Must be the wrong number, I don't know.
What do I do ?
- It's the number from the text. - Answer it.
- Yeah, right.
- Put it on speaker. - Yes. Take it easy.
I'll put it on speaker. Hello ? Who is it ?
Hello ?
No answer...
Hello ? Who's that ? Who is it ?
It's fucking me.
- What is wrong with you ? - It was a joke.
- Fuck off ! - What kind ofjoke is that ?
- You're such a... - He's a loser.
- You're a loser. - Really.
- Just playing around. - I knew it was a joke.
- Go fuck yourself ! - Bullshit !
Give me my phone, I'm going out.
- Say bye at least. - Bye.
- Bye, Sofia. - Bye, Sofia.
- I said hello to them before. - She said hello before.
- She's not always like that. - She's often worse.
They're unbearable at that age.
- What were you like at her age ? - Me ?
- What was he like ? - I remember what he was like.
He was... help me out.
Superficial.
Perfect adjective. He only loved soccer and something else.
- Don't listen to him, darling. - His mom was desperate.
- Distraught. - Whereas their mothers were happy.
I'm not sure I'd be a good mother.
- Why, are you pregnant ? - No, no...
Are you trying ?
- You could say that. - Congratulations then !
There's nothing to celebrate yet.
Well, at least someone's screwing !
We haven't even eaten the first course yet, easy !
What's the big deal ? Nobody here would be shocked.
So ?
After all these years of marriage, no one screws like in the early days.
They're trying for a baby, it's not...
A more sober toast then. To children and the meaning they give our lives.
Bummer, I preferred the screwing toast.
Peppe, you're never satisfied.
I don't like this idea that life has no meaning ifyou don't have kids.
- It's sometimes a convenient decision. - What do you mean ?
You have a kid, get on with life and think of nothing else.
- I don't want a kid just to do that. - Why else then ?
- For a thousand reasons. - Give me one.
- One. To complete the couple. - For example.
So two people can't be happy without depending on someone else.
- You're a pain ! - The other day we argued about God.
It's the same thing in the end. I don't want their help.
I want to be the meaning of my own life.
I'm selfish and I'll die selfish. Cheers.
Sometimes having children can be selfish.
- Why selfish ? - It's a generous act, isn't it ?
No, sometimes it can just be the fear of growing old.
Many hope a child can give them a second life.
I don't torment myself about it. I've enjoyed having a daughter.
I agree with Rocco. You can make fun of me,
but the best moment of the day is when I put Rosa to bed.
She looks at me and says I'm so beautiful. That makes me happy...
- Happy, happy... - We get the message, you're happy.
- Did she say "happy"? - There was an echo.
We'll talk again when she's 16 and tells you to piss off.
Don't say that, and it's true, kids give you a second chance.
It's like going over your life again through them.
You see, I don't want to go over my life again.
Because you had a shitty life. I wasn'tjoking.
- It's my sister, what do I do ? - Answer it.
- Put it on speaker. - Hi, Marta.
- Peppe, the speaker. - Wait a minute.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Careful, you're on speaker. - That's not fair !
- Speaker ? - Yes, you're on speaker.
- You can't tell her. - Turn it off.
- I can't. - Why not ?
- I just can't, Marta. - What's all that noise ?
- I'm at Rocco and Eva's. - Game over.
- Hello, Marta. - Hello, everyone. Okay...
- I'II caII back. - I'm not going to Anzio, got it ?
We'll talk about it tomorrow. Bye.
- Sorry, I messed up. - You messed up ?
I wasn't ready. I'll get it right next time.
- What was that aboutAnzio ? - My sister found me a job
in a private school.
- Why not go ? - It's too far away.
- You can't be picky these days. - It'd be nice to work at the seaside.
I'd jump at the chance to move to Anzio.
What was that ?
- You'd jump at the chance to move... - To Anzio.
Yes, why not ?
You'd move to Anzio tomorrow ?
- Tomorrow, you'd move... - She heard. We said it three times.
Okay, I only said it to encourage Peppe.
- He's not a kid, you know. - I've sent my résumé everywhere.
- Something will turn up. - It doesn't work that way.
- Am I on trial ? - Anyway, they can't fire you like that.
They didn't, theyjust didn't renew my contract, it's different.
It's worse. You've had a temporary contract for the last 10 years.
- It's illegal, you could sue. - Thanks, but I don't need help.
I want to solve this on my own, without any pressure.
- And without going to Anzio. - That's right, take your time...
- Peppe, get a fucking move on ! - That's enough !
As soon as I shut the shop, I bought a taxi.
- Let's follow his example ! - Joke all you want.
I'm moving ahead, I've put my taxi license up for sale.
- You haven't started paying for it yet. - You're selling it ?
- I want to see what it's worth. - When were you going to tell me ?
- I was going to. - When ?
- It's only an idea, it's not... - As usual.
- This time it's the right decision. - It always is.
Guys, the world's changing fast. Car2go, car-sharing...
Uber. Ever heard of them ? Taxis will be extinct soon.
- So I'm looking to the future. - Like with e-cigarettes.
- He had bad luck that time. - I blame the tobacco lobby.
They financed the revolution in Nicaragua.
- Which is situated exactly... - I'll tell you later where it is.
- But at least I tried. - Like when you bred Yorkshires.
You're indefensible.
Were Lady and the Tramp to blame that time ?
Come on...
Pass me that plate ?
- You baked the zucchini flowers ? - Did you want them fried ? Lele !
- Did you get your license back ? - No.
- Not until the trial is over. - When's the hearing ?
- At the end of June. - Are you worried ?
No, just tired. I can't wait until it's all over.
- Is everything sorted ? - The lawyer says I'll be cleared.
We'll celebrate this summer then.
Who is it ?
It's dad.
- Zucchini flowers... - I'm famished.
- Sit down. - Put it on speaker.
- Hi, dad. - Hello, darling, how are you ?
- Fine, I've got friends for dinner. - l won't keep you then.
l spoke to Blanchard, he said you can have the operation in Rome.
He comes down twice a month to the Quisisana Clinic.
l'll send you his number, call him.
Thanks, dad, bye. Say hello to mom.
- What operation is that ? - It's nothing serious.
Augmentation mammoplasty.
I'm getting a boob job.
- A boob job ? - Yes.
- Why didn't you tell me ? - You're a therapist !
- So what ? - Therapists don't get boob jobs.
- It does seem strange. - Why ? I don't like my boobs.
- You should make yourself like them. - Therapists should accept themselves.
Awoman who has a boob job doesn't accept herself ?
No.
- I accept everything but my boobs. - Let Rocco do it.
- Why don't you do it ? - Why don't I do it ?
Because her consultant father said no.
Only the best for his daughter. Dr. Blanchard, a VIP surgeon
who operates in Italy, but lives in Switzerland. Not Rocco Buccilli.
Who does boob and ass jobs for cashiers and secretaries.
I do two for one: two boobs for the price of one.
- Are you done ? - It's true.
- No. - Then enlighten me.
A husband can't do his wife's boob job.
It's a matter of common sense.
You'd lose all sexual attraction.
- I agree with Eva. - The cook never feels like eating.
- That's a good one. - He does it all the time.
He says, "You know what ? You eat it all !"
This is the official reason, her father considers me an idiot.
- That's not true. - He wanted a heart surgeon for her.
- A luminary like himself. - That's enough.
Why don't you let Blanchard do one boob, and your husband the other ?
- Without knowing which one. - Then decide which is better.
No, get daddy to decide: "Dad, which is Blanchard's boob ?"
I really shouldn't say this, but she doesn't need it.
- He paid you a compliment. - It must be the eclipse.
Eva's right, it's like you going to her for therapy.
It's unthinkable, right ?
You don't get it, it would be unthinkable for him to go to therapy !
I'm put off by how long it takes, but I'd like to try.
You're good at sitting on a sofa for hours !
You're a real comedian tonight !
This need to talk about my private business to a stranger...
No offense Eva, but it's not for me.
You can talk to friends instead.
- I have him... - And it's free too.
He won't go because he thinks therapy is a waste of time.
Admit it, I won't be offended. You think myjob is a waste of time.
- Why do you say that ? - Because it's what you think.
I don't, I think we do very similarjobs.
You do brain jobs, I do boob jobs. We make people feel better,
it's just that you take years, and I take a few hours.
- Whose is that ? - Not mine.
- Calm down.
- It's the gnocchi. - I'll go.
- Hand me your plates. - Thanks, Carlotta.
- I'll go smoke. - I'll come with you.
- What's the moon like ? - It's partly covered.
- Peppe, I've got a problem. - What kind ?
Well...
every night at 10:00 a friend of mine...
- She sends me... - A goodnight kiss ?
Sort of. She sends me a photo.
- She sends you a photo ! - A photo.
What kind of photo ?
A photo of herself.
You're in trouble.
I need you to help me out.
- How can I help you ? - We have the same phone.
We'll swap them, just until the photo arrives.
- Then I'll receive the photo. Come on ! - But you're single.
No, pal, not any more.
Okay, but Lucilla's not here with you tonight.
- You could have refused to play. - I'm in the shit. Help !
No, I don't want to.
Do you want all hell to break loose for something so petty ?
Peppe doesn't want to so he'll ruin an entire family.
And what kind of photos are you talking about ?
- Just an ordinary photo. - Don't show me up, or else...
Peppe, two nights ago she sent me a photo of her in Pluto pajamas.
- You see... - Pluto ?
- Pluto. - How old is she ?
I don't know.
- Are you going to help me or not ? - What a pain !
I'm not sure I should tell you, but your husband's in therapy.
Rocco ?
Are you serious ?
Who told you ?
Lele. But don't say a word, okay ?
Whose phone is that ? Mine ?
Who is it ?
- Steve Jobs. - Who ?
- I thought he was dead. - And why would he call my wife ?
- Darling ! - I'm coming !
- It's urgent. - Who is it ? Mom ?
No... Steve Jobs.
- Answer it. - I don't speak English.
Answer it ! Don't be silly !
- Hello, Riccardo. - Good evening, Mrs. Masi.
- Your computer's ready. - Great.
- How come you're working so late ? - Overtime, too many viruses about.
I'll come get it tomorrow around 7:00 ?
- Sounds good. - See you tomorrow.
It's the computer guy.
- And you call him "Steve Jobs" ? - Isn't it funny ?
And do you call the mechanic "Marchionne" ?
- Text. One, two... - Giulio for soccer.
- Giulio soccer. - Giulio, confirmed for tomorrow.
- You were lucky. - There's a game tomorrow ?
- Apparently. - I didn't get a text.
It'll come through, it mightjust be a bit late.
Is your phone out of minutes ?
- Have you kicked me off the team ? - No, Giulio just organized it...
- You know what he's like. - What is he like ?
- Absent-minded. - Don't you know Giulio ?
Get your gym bag ready anyway.
Yes, come anyway.
You're such shits, you only include me when you're short a goalie.
- Do you really do that ? - That's not true.
- Nonsense. - Terrible !
- Are you Alice in Wonderland ? - Why ? If they're such good friends...
Some friends ! I didn't get a message on WhatsApp.
Turn it off then back on again, sometimes...
- He's right, sometimes... - You're such shits.
Message for Cosimo. Who is it ?
Marika. "Call me, it's urgent."
- Three exclamation points. - Who's Marika, what's so urgent ?
- Who is she ? - The name sounds promising.
Sorry to disappoint you, but she's just the taxi company dispatcher.
You know ? "Go to Corso Rinascimento in nine minutes."
Call her back, I'm curious about her.
We're eating and she might make me fill in for someone.
- Yes, a shift swap. - Look at her defending her husband !
- They haven't been married long ! - Darling, stick up for yourself.
If I have to fill in for someone, my weekend's ruined.
- We're at my parents' on Sunday. - Then she'll save your weekend.
Anyway, Marika isn't his type. She's a hick
with tattoos and enormous boobs !
What's her surname ? Perhaps I did her boob job.
- It's mine, an American app. - Can I see ?
- Where are you going ? - What is this ?
- An exercise program. - What ?
It lasts 12 weeks
and you can lose from 8 to 12 kilos.
- Guaranteed success. - You only started today then !
- Do you have to do it now ? - Whenever it pings.
- Even at night ? - Yes, if it pings.
- Then turn it off. - I can't cheat.
How can I teach P.E. looking like this ?
Does the app know you ate half a kilo of gnocchi in 30 seconds ?
- I'm burning them off. - Dammit...
That's brilliant. Where did you find it ? I want it too.
- I downloaded it. - Have you heard of it ? I haven't.
- On a full stomach. - I swapped our phones.
- Are you sure ? - Huh ?
- Are we sure ? - Don't bust my balls.
Why didn't you tell me ?
- What ? - That you're in therapy.
Why didn't you tell me ?
- I haven't been going long. - How long ?
About six months.
That's long enough.
- Are you angry ? - No.
Yes...
I don't know, a bit.
- You never wanted to before. - I do now.
You do now ? Why ?
Maybe it is just a waste of time, but I want to try everything.
Then ifwe split up, we can't say we didn't try.
- And is it working ? - I don't know, you tell me.
- But I've learnt something important. - What's that ?
- How to defuse. - Meaning ?
Not to turn every argument into a fight for supremacy.
I don't believe it's weak to be the one to give in.
In fact, I think it's wise.
The only couples I see who last are those where one of the two...
manages to take a step back, but is really a step ahead.
I don't want us to end up like... Barbie and Ken.
You full of plastic and me without any balls.
- I'll change my shirt, it's sticky. - Good idea.
- The wine's good. - WhatsApp for Peppe.
- The only one who's not worried. - It's a photo.
From Isa Clementini.
- Wait, it's not Lucilla ! - Why are you shouting ?
- To emphasize it. - Isa Clementini sometimes sends me...
You'll break it.
- What's up ? - Nothing...
- What is it ? - Can I have a look ?
- It's private. - Everyone's sharing tonight.
- Let us see. - Show us or I'll get up...
- Show us that photo. - Get your hand off it !
- Let go ! - Okay.
Tonight everyone can look...
Well I'll be damned, Peppe !
- You chipped it. - Let me see.
- Just a sec ! - You have to see this.
You're in the field, how do you... Which way do you look at this ?
- Whose is it ? - Guess.
- Looks like she's lying face down. - Who is she ?
- It's not for you. - What is it ?
No, no, no...
Have you seen Peppe's girlfriend !
She's not my girlfriend, do you think I'd have a girlfriend like that ?
- She's doing pilates. - No, the Sun Salutation.
Peppe had no one for years after his divorce, now girlfriends, lovers...
You don't have to explain. 1 ,000 points for Peppe.
- Yes, right. - Hooray for Miss Clementini.
What's that ? A text ?
- Who got a text ? - You did.
- It's mine, here. - Afrog ring tone ?
Who, me ?
Do you think I'm that stupid ? The kids must've done it.
"How are you ?" How sweet...
Who's Lucio ?
A co-worker from the legal office.
- I don't remember him. - You were on maternity leave.
He's a nice guy.
Why's he asking how you are ?
Because today I lost my temper about that case in Basilicata
that's been dragging on.
He noticed I was a bit...
- And you're not replying ? - No.
I don't understand people who don't answer texts.
It won't take a second.
This person was kind enough to ask...
All you have to say is, "I'm fine, I'm at home."
- That's right. - Why ? He's not at home.
- That's right. - I was just saying...
Then write, "I'm fine, thanks. I'm having dinner with friends."
- That's right. - Why must he say where he is ?
It's just a matter of principle.
We don't have any privacy any more. Once phone calls started with:
"How are you ?" Now it's: "Where are you ?"
- No, he asked "how are you ?" - That's my business !
Okay ? Why should I tell you where I am ?
Why ? And why the fuck would you care ?
- Why are you taking it out on me ? - These things are ruining our lives.
They're taking our private lives away from us.
And we're allowing them to, day after day, without realizing it.
- Okay, I won't answer it. - Good, don't answer it.
Guys, this eclipse is having a bad effect on you.
Rocco, you've got an email.
- I've got a text too. - No, first Rocco's email.
Scared ?
Scared ofwhat ?
Orizzonti Tour. The house in Salina's confirmed.
- Thank goodness ! - You were lucky.
Let's read Carlotta's text.
No, I want to read one out.
I've learnt something I want to...
Siri, read email.
You have no new email.
Not even Siri understands you. What email ?
- It's a message. - A message.
Siri, read the message.
You have a message from +393462371733.
Dear Mrs. De Rosa, we'd like to inform you
we have a spot available in June.
During this time we're offering a 25% discount.
Do not hesitate to call us for further information.
Thank you for contacting us. La Quiete Home for the Elderly.
- Do you want to answer ? - I don't want to answer.
Who sends messages at this hour ?! They're crazy !
- La Quiete ? Is it a rest home ? - No...
I went there last week with my friend Rita, her mom's there.
It's lovely, I had a look around and asked for some information.
- That's all. - That's all ?
You asked for information at a rest home ?
That's like going to a funeral and asking if there's a tomb available.
It's not a rest home. it's a five-star facility.
So what ?
- Why didn't you tell me ? - I forgot.
I didn't even save the number.
I don't believe it.
You want to kick mom out.
Don't pass me off as something I'm not. I'm not kicking anyone out.
- That woman adores you. - I know.
She helps us out with the kids, with everything.
- Or am I mistaken ? - You're not mistaken, but...
But what ?
I love her too, you know that. But ever since she's been with us,
our dynamics have changed. Admit it.
Sure... mom, who sleeps in a cubicle at the end of the hall,
is to blame for our problems. Yes, that's possible.
Pretend I never said anything. We don't have problems, it's fine.
I'm fond of Cosimo's mom too, but if she came to live with us...
I'm sorry, darling, but I couldn't cope.
With my mother ? I wouldn't want to live with her either.
Some facilities are so nice that old folks beg to go there.
- It's like a resort. - Did she tell you to say that ?
Would you live with Carlotta's mom ?
- My mother's a widow. Hers isn't. - Mine isn't.
Lele's right... but she can be a pain in the ass when she wants to be.
I got more slaps from your mom than from my dad.
- Obviously not enough. - Your mom's not bursting with charm.
Okay, I'll admit she can be a bit difficult.
- What time it is ? - Just after ten.
- Let's go and see the eclipse. - Yes !
- Leave the phones on the table. - Can I take mine ? For a photo.
- Okay, just you. Not you ! - Come on, the eclipse !
They're well-organized. As soon as they bury one,
they send out a message to find a replacement.
- No joke, they were fully booked. - I should open a nursing home.
Open one in the hills. Capers outside, old folks inside.
It's lovely, though I still see two of them.
There are two, one on top of the other.
- Lovely, isn't it ? - Yes.
It won't last much longer, then it'll disappear.
Listen, I'm sorry about before, I said it without thinking.
- I wouldn't want you to be upset. - I'm not upset.
I wonder why eclipses fascinate us so much.
- The Dark Side of the Moon ! - Great record !
Let's take a photo, come over here.
- Who'll take it ? - I will.
- Squeeze together. - I'll bend down or we won't fit.
Wait, darling, I'll do it. Hold it...
- Everyone in ? Smile. - One...
"Hi".
- What does he want on a Friday night ? - I don't know.
- Who's Ivano ? - Her ex.
- He's pissed. - No.
- I'm joking. - Let's take the photo.
- Why did you save his number as Ivano ? - How else ? That's his name.
- By his surname. - Come on, he's her ex !
- Precisely ! - Exes are dangerous.
They're like the Japanese, they never give up.
Especially if they got dumped.
That's right. Bianca ? Bianca ?
- Who broke it off ? - Me.
Come on, take this photo.
He's harmless, but it's the principle...
Smile !
One, two...
"I feel like screwing"
- Good thing he was harmless. - What the fuck ?
- I can explain. - It says, "I feel like screwing" !
- It could be predictive text. - Shut the fuck up.
- Let me explain. - Go on then.
Ivano's in a relationship with this girl, it's all about sex.
Well, it is for her but he's in love,
but won't admit it and he's suffering like a dog.
- That's why he called the vet. - Well ?
Well ? Why's he texting you ?
I don't know what's so funny. What's so funny ?
- I tell you what, he can explain. - No, there's really no need.
Please, there's nothing to explain. It's pointless, just stop.
- All right ? - Quiet everyone.
Hey, thanks for calling. l'm sorry to be a pain, Bianca.
- Did she call you ? - Yes.
- And ? - She asked me over.
- Don't go. - l can't help myself.
- She gets to me, l want to go. - But she'll only hurt you.
- l'm hurting enough as it is. - It'll be worse ifyou go.
- Some help you are ! - At least I'm trying to help.
Otherwise don't bother calling, you know what I think.
- What a pain ! Bye. - Bye... Ivano !
- Don't go there ! - Okay... bye.
- Satisfied ? - How often do you talk ?
- Now and then. - How often is now and then ?
- Every time he wants to... - I get it.
He panics and calls me.
Give him Eva's number, he needs a therapist, not an ex.
- Guys, the meatloaf's ready. - Unbelievable !
- Why didn't you tell me you talk ? - Because it's not important.
- There's nothing to tell. - You say we should share everything.
Everything that's important for our relationship.
- I think he still wants to screw you. - And that seems very important.
- Don't be silly ! - Yeah, don't be silly.
- I don't talk to my exes. - No, they'd prefer you dead.
If it bothers you, I'll call him and tell him not to call any more.
- Right, you tell him. - Then Cosimo is happy
and you can speak to Ivano in secret.
If I tell Cosimo I won't talk to him, then I won't.
Why shouldn't you talk to him ? He's a friend, Cosimo should trust you.
I trust her, but I can't stand him. Alright ?
- Doesn't Ivano have a house in Anzio ? - Yes, that's why she wanted to go.
Yes, of course !
- Does he really have a house there ? - You really are crazy !
- I don't even know him ! - I'm not in the mood, Lele.
I can see that.
- It's Sofia. - Answer it.
- Hello, darling. Are you okay ? - Hi, dad. Yes, l'm fine.
- Can you talk ? - Yes, of course. Go ahead.
l don't know how to tell you this, but Gregorio's parents are away.
And he's asked me to go... to sleep there.
Dad, are you still there ?
- And what did you say ? - l don't know, l want to.
But l wasn't expecting it tonight.
lf l don't go, he might be upset. What shall l do ?
Don't go just because he'd be upset. That can't be the only reason.
Of course it's not...
And don't expect me to be enthusiastic about it.
Come on, dad...
But there is something I want to say.
This is an important moment, something you'll remember all your life.
It's notjust something to tell your friends tomorrow.
Ifyou think that later...
whenever you look back on it, it'll make you smile...
then go ahead.
But ifyou don't feel like it, ifyou're not sure,
then forget about it.
Because you have plenty of time.
- Do you know what ? - What ?
- Never mind. - No, tell me.
You embarrassed me today when you gave me those condoms.
l didn't know where to look.
I didn't tell you to use them.
Why then ? l think you knew, you have a sixth sense.
You've never done it before. Anyway...
lf l do go to Gregorio's, tell mom l'm at Chicca's.
- Why don't you tell her ? - What ?
- The truth. - Are you crazy ?
- I've told you to talk to her. - You know what she's like.
She never listens, just gets angry.
- Have a little bit of patience. - A lot of patience.
Okay, a lot of patience.
But I think it's worth a try. Try it.
You're too in love with mom to see what a bitch she is.
- Okay, l have to go. Thanks. - Sofia...
You did really well.
The therapy must be working.
Bianca...
- Did you tell her ? - No.
- You told her. - Okay, but I only told her.
- And I only told Peppe. - And I... Only Lele.
- And Lele kept it to himself. - She's my wife...
She's my best friend.
- Sorry... - Don't be.
He's seeing a therapist, not a whore ! Come on !
Right...
There's the frog again.
- Lucio wants you to answer him. - Why's he insisting ?
Answer him, then he might stop.
Perhaps I'd better, or he won't leave me alone.
"I'm having dinner with friends, we'll talk tomorrow."
Let's see if he sends another...
"We've decided to reveal our private business."
No, we can't...
He wrote "jerk".
- Damn. - How dare he ?
You'll have to explain this.
- Explain what ? - You don'tjust call someone a jerk.
In fact he's an oaf, he's bad-mannered.
Would this oaf happened to be named Lucia ?
- Don't be silly ! - Such a cheeky co-worker.
He's calling you. Answer it, then we'll know more.
We'll find out why he's so angry.
Come on.
- Okay, on speaker, right ? - Yes.
- Hello ? - Why do you sound so glum ?
l thought you said you had a fever ?
Then why did you go out ?
Have you nothing to say ?
You're a jerk. You know what ?
You can't make a decision,
you don't know what you want in life.
You don't even know if you like men or women.
So fuck off !
This guy's off his rocker...
I would never have thought it. But...
You must be crazy !
You don't think I'm...
No, he's a co-worker who's gay...
and he's obsessed with me, that's all.
Stop messing around, okay. Carlotta ?
- Carlotta, no messing around. - Why didn't you tell me ?
He's a co-worker... Rocco, you tell her.
- Cosimo, come on ! - He's a co-worker who...
- He's a co-worker. - You see ?
Have you been with him ?
- What ? - Have you been with him ? Simple.
Have I been with who ? He's a co-worker who's in love with me
and he's convinced I'm in love with him.
Yes, because fags think everyone else is a fag.
- An elegant analysis. - Sorry, it came out all wrong, but...
The concept is the same.
- What are you talking about ? - Rocco's right, sort of.
I want to know ifyou've been with this Lucio. Yes or no ?
Carlotta... Geez ! Come on !
We've been together for 10 years. We have two wonderful children.
- You should know me. - Maybe not well enough.
What do you mean ? Say something to her !
Carlotta, look at me. Darling, look at me.
Can you imagine me with a man ? Like this, eyes straight ahead ?
Can you imagine me like that ? Can you ?
Though there's no harm in that. I'm just saying that...
because I have other tastes, and you know that.
Carlotta...
I promise you, between me and...
- Lucio. - Lucio... nothing's ever happened.
I swear.
It's Lucio.
He says he misses your kisses.
Is he a fag then ?
- Guys, how can I explain... - There's nothing to explain.
Don't you start now. What's wrong ?
What's wrong ? Nothing. I'm fine. Are you ?
Yes, I'm fine.
- Fine then. - Wait, let him talk.
Talk ? He hasn't said anything for 20 years.
What was I supposed to tell you ?
What were you supposed to tell me ?
We've been friends since childhood, tell me who you are.
He's the same person you've always confided in,
and shared everything with.
I wouldn't say everything, Peppe.
He omitted a small detail.
And perhaps he should've told me.
I should have told you ?
- Why ? - We've slept together.
Took a shower together. I want to know if my best friend's a fag.
I might decide it's fine by me, but I want to know, damn it !
"I might decide it's fine by me" ?
Do you hear yourself ?
Do you realize what you said ?
Do you realize what you didn't say ?
- But what's the problem ? - I'm asking him, I want to know.
Let me get this straight.
Does it bother you that I'm a fag, orjust that I didn't tell you ?
- You're going too far, Cosimo. - Okay...
Ifyou find it normal, then it's all in my head.
Okay ? It's all good.
I'm exaggerating. I was wrong. Forgive me.
No, I'm the one who's wrong.
I was wrong to think we were friends.
Better not drink from the bottle...
Fuck off, Rocco !
He's not cheating on you with another woman,
so he's not questioning his relationship with you.
He's questioning himself.
He told you lies because it was inevitable,
but you must decide ifyou want him,
and ifyou can forgive him or not, that's the real problem.
The real problem is that Lucio's missing my husband's kisses.
- When did this affair start ? - What affair ? This is absurd.
Not really. You haven't touched me in months.
I was sure you had someone else, maybe a whore like Peppe's.
It would all make sense.
- It'd make sense ? - How long has it been going on ?
Lele, how long ?
How long has it been going on ?
Not long.
- Can I say something ? - No.
How many ?
- How many what ? - How many before him ?
None.
Lucio's the only one.
All right...
Thanks for dinner.
- Let's go, we'll talk at home. - In front of the kids ?
"Kids, we have something to tell you. Daddy's a fag !
But don't tell your teacher, or you'll show daddy up
when he picks you up from school."
- Have you finished ? - Why don't you say something ?
They're your friends, they want to know.
Let's go home.
You go home.
It's yours.
Hello, yes ?
Hi, Cosimo, at last !
You're hard to get a hold of.
Don't you check your messages ?
l've left loads over the last two weeks.
- I know, Maurizio... - l've called you a hundred times.
- I know, you're right. - Just tell me if she liked the ring.
Yes, she liked it. Sorry, now's not a good time.
Well did she like the earrings ?
Sorry, but I really have to go. I'm tied up. Bye.
Did who like the earrings ?
- You, they were for you. - For me ?
- Yes... - I don't wear earrings.
- I don't even have pierced ears. - Well, I got them...
- You're telling lies. - No, it's not a lie.
Have I ever lied to you ? Enough of this game, it's bad for us.
- Too many misunderstandings now. - They were for Ginevra.
Ginevra ? What are you talking about ?
Tell me you're not screwing Ginevra.
Screwing Ginevra ? What do you mean ?
Who were those fucking earrings for then ?
Answer it.
- It's Marika, come on. - Talk to Marika.
It's a work thing...
Bianca, give me that phone.
Give me that phone.
Give me that fucking phone !
Hello, sweetie ? Sorry for calling so late, Cosimo...
l panicked. l did the test and there are two lines on it.
l think it's positive. l think l'm pregnant. Am l ?
Am l pregnant ? l can't tell, do two lines mean positive ?
Cosimo, can you hear me ? Are you there ?
Can you hear me, sweetie ?
Fuck !
Bianca !
Bianca.
Open this door. Open it, please !
You're disgusting.
Eva !
What's wrong ?
Nothing.
- Are you sure ? - Yes.
What the...
What the fuck !
We've onlyjust gotten married, we screw every day, we're happy...
Will you tell me why ?
I don't know. Bianca, I really don't know.
I didn't even want to get married.
I never believed in marriage. Marriage makes me sad and anxious.
I didn't want a child, either.
What do I know about bringing kids up ?
I just wanted to be free.
Then that asshole came along and turned my life upside-down.
He made me believe we could be happy and I trusted him, but...
How the fuck does Marika fit in with this ?
- How the fuck does she fit in ? - Go away !
- Don't open it. - Go away !
Carlotta, it's me, open the door.
Will you open the door ?
It doesn't mean anything, you know.
He's just a guy on Facebook.
Look at me ! I don't even know him.
A guy you don't know asks ifyou're wearing panties ?
It's a game. But we've never met. We just write to each other.
- Call him. - What ?
Call him !
I can't, I've never spoken to him. He's got a family.
- Really ? You have a family too. - Come on...
- Call him ! - We only write...
- If it's a game, call him. - Please, don't call him !
- What would I say to him ? - Let's see how well you know him.
Play the game.
Hello ? Carlotta, is that you ?
Hi.
- Sorry, was l wrong to write tonight ? - No, it's okay.
What a surprise ! How come you're calling ?
- I was curious to hear your voice. - l'm glad you did.
I'd like to meet up too.
But we agreed not to.
Or rather, you didn't want to.
You're right, yes. I did say that.
lf you've changed your mind, we could meet, l'd like to.
- Sorry, I have to go now. - Carlotta, wait.
- What ? - You've got a nice voice.
- lt's not how l imagined it. - Bye.
You see...
Are you wearing panties or not ?
Just curious.
We're all very curious, we'd like to know.
- Are you ? - Stop it.
- It's an easy question, tell me. - Please, just stop it.
- Stop it, please ! - Let me see.
Stop it !
- I'm going home. - Tell the kids about this too.
Tell them their mother doesn't wear panties.
All this fuss over panties ! Here you go.
- I'm not wearing any, happy ? - Hey...
- What are you doing ? - Leave me alone.
After what I've heard tonight, this is nothing.
I'll tell you a secret you won't find on my phone, or Lele's.
- Don't do this. - Quiet, let me finish.
I was driving that night, not Lele.
He took the blame but I was driving. I was drunk, I'd have ended up in jail.
But what would we have done with the kids ?
We chose... what is it we always say ?
The lesser of two evils.
But a man died, I wouldn't call that the "lesser of two evils".
- Okay, that's enough now. - Enough what, Lele ?
You do realize we haven't discussed it since, like it never happened ?
The only thing that's kept us together was my guilt.
The guilt you've made me feel over the years.
Why haven't we split up ?
People should learn how to split up.
If only you'd told me you were a fag !
It would've made things easier.
Actually, I'm the one who's the fag.
Fag !
Did I say it right ?
When you say it, you always articulate it like this... fag !
You pronounce it with two Fs and a nice hard G.
Did I say it right ?
Did I say it right, or not ?
- Not such a good idea, was it ? - I'd say not.
- Why didn't you tell us before ? - Why didn't I tell you before ?
Because I didn't know before.
- Then when I realized... - I'll tell you why he didn't tell us.
Because I was a fag for two hours, and that was long enough.
We're all open-minded here, right ?
We all like to have a fag for a friend.
And now we've got one too.
- And it seems we took it very well. - Fuck off !
There, you see ?
You think they didn't renew my contract because I'd put weight on ?
- Was it because you're gay ? - Rocco, for God's sake.
Not gay ! It doesn't befit you.
Carry on saying "fag" ! It comes more naturally.
Peppe, why don't you sue the school ?
Sue them ? I can't even tell you I'm gay...
never mind a court of people, a judge, the lawyers...
my relatives...
I liked this game, it was a bit like the story ofthe serial killer,
I wanted to be unmasked too.
But not like this though.
At least you can introduce us to Lucio now.
I really don't think so, Rocco.
Because tonight...
you're the ones who came out, not me.
No...
I won't introduce you.
Not because I'm scared ofyour wisecracks,
I've heard enough of those.
But because I know he'd be hurt at the first weird glance.
And I don't want him to be hurt, I want to protect him.
Because ifyou love someone, you protect them, from everything.
From this...
and all this.
Bianca. Come on, open this door.
That's enough, open this door.
She's locked herself in.
Bianca !
Open the door !
- Get her out of there ! - How ?
- Break it down ! - Let's try.
- Break the door down. - Bianca !
- Open this door ! - Get out of the way !
Your mother called.
I told her you're going to be a father.
She was very happy. She congratulated me.
You're right not to introduce Lucio to them. Keep him to yourself.
Go on.
Go, go on !
Look how beautiful it is !
It's full again.
It's amazing !
That's enough ! You're always at it !
- Hurry up, darling, it's cold. - I'm on my way.
Bye, Peppe.
- Bye, Lele. - I'll call you.
Are we on for soccer tomorrow ?
- I haven't heard from anyone. - It's probably been called off.
- Call me if there's a game. - Of course.
- Come on ! - I'm coming.
Peppe, next time we want to meet Lucilla.
Okay, as soon as she's feeling better. Bye, good night.
- Why didn't you want to play the game ? - I didn't like the idea.
No, you insisted on not playing. Got something to hide ?
No.
Why then ?
Because we're breakable... all of us,
some more than others.
You're right, this has become our black box, it's got everything inside.
Perhaps too much.
And it's wrong to play around with it.
But I have nothing to hide.
You can do whatever you want with it.
You can take a look. There's no passcode.
Nice earrings, are they new ?
Yes.
Marika: Call me, it's urgent !
Eva: I wanted you so bad tonight...
- Who are you texting ? - Eva and Rocco.
- To thank them for tonight. - Good.
- We had a good time, right ? - Yes.
"That makes two of us"
- It's Marika, what a pain ! - For a shift change, don't answer it.
I'm not going to.
Listen... no more biodynamic wine.
I bought six bottles of it.
Figures !
PERFECT STRANGERS