"I went to the woods
"because I wished to live deliberately,
"and see if I could learn what it had to teach,
"and not, when I came to die,
discovered that I had not lived."
That's Henry David Thoreau in 1854.
And it made sense to me 150 years later.
So when you were still in your mama's belly,
we sold our company, left our old friends,
and moved here to Northern California.
You see, I knew the great collapse was coming.
Everyone says that now, but I knew.
It didn't take much to tear us apart.
Just a quick ripping away
of the things we'd come to depend on.
Our world was like a bubble waiting to pop.
And off you go.
There you go.
♪ I had a rough day, but that's life ♪
♪ It happens ♪
♪ Woke up on the dark side of my mattress ♪
♪ I guess I forgot to set my clock ♪
♪ Overslept, almost lost the job ♪
♪ Then to top it off, I'm kind of hungry ♪
Pick a good one for tonight, okay?
♪ It's in my wallet but my wallet ain't in my pocket ♪
Great choice, Hannah-bear. Show your mama.
♪ And they don't want me in a bad mood ♪
Nice one.
Lily, do you think we have enough basil inside?
I don't know.
Do you want to check?
I am working on something important right now.
♪ And the manager really ain't shit ♪
♪ But I can't quit, so I'm hiding in the basement ♪
♪ Holding onto to my face like fuck this place ♪
♪ Every day can't be the best day ♪
♪ Do what you can right now, don't hesitate ♪
♪ That's why we try to make love and get paid ♪
♪ Take the bad with the good... ♪
So I just want to know how awkward it's going to be.
Has he already apologized in the e-mail?
James doesn't apologize.
Then why are we going?
Well, he might take some responsibility.
He just never actually says the words "I'm sorry."
Baby, baby, not when you're driving.
"Goodbye, world"?
Did you just text me?
Honey, you're holding my phone.
Oh, yeah. Weird.
Hey, what are you doing?
We are on vacation, remember?
We agreed...
we're only talking to each other.
♪ I'mma be so cool ♪
♪ But for now I got cheap shoes, so I keep losing ♪
♪ Girls give no love to a poor man ♪
♪ It's a prison, the clock is warden ♪
♪ And it won't get no better when I get home ♪
The system tells you three lies.
It tells you that you're free. You're not.
It tells you that you can change it from within. You can't.
And if you try to change it from the outside,
it tells the rest of the world you're a violent criminal.
The system sent me to jail for five years
for burning down a factory farm that was under construction.
Real change isn't pretty, isn't safe.
But revolution is our moral obligation,
and the only real expression of freedom that we have left.
What good is freedom if you're in jail?
What good is it being out of jail if you're not free?
Didn't you miss having sex?
Not as much as I miss good coffee.
♪ The better half is talking about separate ♪
♪ You wish you could take it back to yesterday ♪
♪ You not alone, it's hard as hell ♪
♪ But don't waste no time feeling sorry for self ♪
♪ We'll be right here with you through your war ♪
♪ Cause you're the one... ♪
Laura Sheppard is not a name we can have associated
with a non-profit donor-supported organization.
I can be very effective behind the scenes.
The right people still take my phone calls.
Look...
your résumé is very, very impressive.
There are many fields where your reputation
will not be a handicap for you.
You could make substantially more money
in the private sector.
Which is exactly the reason you should hire me.
I'm here because I believe it's worth fighting for.
"It"?
Democracy.
I'm sorry.
You know, I find it really funny
that your program director cheated on his wife
with the teenage babysitter,
yet I'm the one who's unhireable.
He didn't get caught on camera, honey.
It was a disaster.
What? What do you mean?
Yeah, I know Lev Berkowitz.
- The text message - "Goodbye, world"
has been received by over a million cell phones.
And many of those phones have actually shut down
because of the sheer number of messages they're receiving.
The source of the virus still a mystery at this point,
but as you can imagine authorities now
are looking into it, hopefully trying to pinpoint
exactly where it's coming from.
When we come back we'll have our own tech experts
and hopefully shine some light on the mystery.
Also, we'll have more on the controversial decision
by the Supreme Court concerning life sentences for minors.
All of that, plus news updates,
and your weather and sports when we come back.
Now we're receiving unconfirmed reports
that the nation is under a large-scale cyber attack.
I'm told it's suspected of being connected
to that "Goodbye, world" text.
There have been disruptions in basic utility service
around the country in some of the larger urban areas,
including New York, Chicago,
Boston and...
♪ Well, my name, Zaakir, I'm versatile ♪
♪ And plus I never eat the cow if ain't Halal ♪
♪ While you rap or bit our styles in the third degree ♪
Can you turn that down a bit?!
What?
♪ Showcase with the voice that's oh, so fresh ♪
♪ And I can still serve a brother in a minute or less ♪
Could you turn it down?
Huh?
♪ Save my breath ♪
♪ And let my nigga Mark 7even just do the rest ♪
♪ Do the rest... ♪
So do you want to bring it up or should I?
Either way, but I think it would help if you apologized first.
And what exactly do you think I should say?
Uh, I don't know.
How about, "Hey, Nick,
sorry I froze you out of that company you founded with Lily."
That wasn't a very friendly thing to do.
He wanted to sell our user's private information
without their... I know. Trust me, I know.
I'm just saying this would go a lot better
if we play nice tonight.
We have all weekend to talk about the house.
Benji. Yeah?
You forgot something.
Hey, hey!
Jesus. You all right? Yeah.
Someone just blew up a truck on the 405.
No shit. Really?
Yeah. People are freaking out.
This pump's dead.
Nick?
Over here.
The pump's dead. We should go.
No, no, no, no.
Come here. Come here, you got to see this.
We're already late.
- No, no, no, no. Quick. - Real quick. Come on.
Come on. You're going to love it.
I can't believe they're still doing this.
What? Selling vegetables?
This.
Just literally a box of cash sitting on a table
by the side of the road. So?
So, what's to stop me from taking it?
The Ten Commandments.
I mean in the real world.
Just kidding.
No, no, no. Thou shall not turn on their cell phone.
Well, you need to call them
to let them know we're running late.
There's no service here, is there?
Hey, do you have any cash?
We should bring cucumber.
Lily loves cucumbers.
Well, then I'm sure she has some.
Let's go.
You stole that?
I left my sunglasses.
That's a $200 cucumber.
It'll be worth it, I promise.
Hope so, because it certainly seems important to you
to impress your ex-girlfriend.
It's not like that. It's an ice-breaker.
She has a really immature sense of humour, trust me.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
There are some security concerns right now
at the San Francisco Airport,
so we'll be making an early landing in Las Vegas.
Once we're on the ground our staff will do the best they can
to answer all your questions.
Please remain calm and seated for the duration of the flight.
Is that a cucumber in your pocket
or are you just happy to see me?
Both.
Aah!
Oh, Nicky, it's really good to see you.
Oh, hey.
Not going to shake your hand.
Good to see you, man.
And it's so nice to finally meet you.
Oh, um, we've met.
At Stanford.
You guy remember. She was Laura's freshman year roommate.
Oh! Oh.
That Becky.
You hated me, so it's okay.
No, no.
It's okay.
I liked to study all the time
and go to bed early.
I think it was the Christian rock...
that made Laura hate you.
We never hated you.
What a relief.
Who's this little munchkin?
Say hi, Hannah-bear.
Hello.
Hannah, somebody wants to meet you.
He can't breathe. He's going to die.
Oh... No, no, no, no, no.
It's okay. It's a space bag.
It compresses objects for easy storage.
Mr. Bear, um, is sleeping,
and he just needs us to wake him up.
Yeah!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Hey!
Wow, he needs a hug.
Yeah.
- Jesus. - Sounds selfish to me.
Everyone is selfish.
You don't believe in friendship? That's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying the more self-sufficient you are,
the more free you are, okay?
Every connection is an opportunity for compromise.
It's basically death by a thousand small cuts.
But that's why God put us here.
To make compromises?
To give of ourselves. To make the world a better place.
You want to make the world a better place?
Make your world a better place.
Hey, if you hate people so much
how come you asked me to make one?
I don't hate people. You clearly aren't listening to me.
I think we understand you perfectly.
Everything's easier if you get to call the shots.
All right. Let's talk about it.
We obviously have a lot of bad blood between us.
Yeah, well, maybe we have some bad blood
but, you know, it's not like AIDS blood.
Lily.
Or hepatitis blood.
Malaria.
Ebola.
Shit, Nicky. That is some seriously bad blood.
All right, Nicky, you win.
Ebola blood is the worst blood.
All I'm trying to say is that things would have been better
if Lily and I were able to convince you outside of court
not to take the company in the direction you wanted.
Is that a James apology?
No, no, wait, wait, wait. What's a James apology?
- Come on, dude. - What is it?
Come on. Have you ever said "I'm sorry" in your entire life?
Of course.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
No, honey.
Look, you know what?
I hear what you're trying to say,
and I appreciate it.
Thank you.
You know what we need to do?
We need to get smoked-up
and go skinny-dipping in the hot tub.
Becky, what do you say?
I... I don't know. I'm tired.
Nicky?
Awkward. Yeah.
All right, well,
anybody who isn't totally lame can join me.
What?
They seem so unhappy, don't they?
I'd be unhappy too if I were married to him.
Do you want an Ambien?
Mmm.
Whatever happened to that guy?
Is he still in jail?
Benji? No.
He got out a few years ago.
James and Lily let him crash here
so he could get back on his feet.
He lives here?
They let him rent the guest house
down at the edge of the property.
God, I'm going to have to see him too this weekend?
No, no, he travels a lot.
Giving lectures.
I didn't know you were still in touch.
I see Facebook updates.
It's shitty, isn't it?
Seems like I let everybody go.
Well, I'm glad we're here
so you can finally get some closure,
but that doesn't mean you have to keep these people
in your life.
This is your past.
Your present is so much better.
How was it?
It was the relaxation experience of a lifetime.
Hmm.
And I saw a UFO.
A UFO, huh?
You must be stoked.
Came down really, really close.
And this staircase of white shot down.
Like a soft rock escalator.
Exactly like a soft rock escalator.
And then Jon Secada appeared,
and he descended into the hot tub.
Also naked? No.
He wore a majestic thong.
And a cape.
And...
jelly bracelets.
Sounds like I should have come.
They brought their own pillows.
Who does that?
So when you get 10 stars you get to have a party.
What kind of party?
A unicorn party.
Well, I love unicorn parties. Can I come?
Uh, you have to be cool.
Hey, Nicky. You want to go see the greenhouse?
- Oh, my God. - If we don't act fast,
James will make us go antiquing.
We have to take our destiny into our own hands
before it's too late.
Oh!
You may not want to, but you must!
No.
Yes.
Do it, dude. Do it.
You must.
Hey!
This is that game, Cosmic Wimpout.
Remember me telling you how awesome it is?
I want to get you stoned and feed you pancakes.
What's your Wi-Fi password?
"dividebyzero". One word, no caps.
But the Internet's been down since yesterday.
- Roll, roll. - Yeah, yeah.
I'm going to go again. Are you ready?
All right, here we go.
Dice out of control.
No. Fringe benefits.
Fine, then reroll clause.
You didn't clear moons, dude.
Yeah, I totally did.
No, you didn't.
Nick, the rules are the rules. You didn't clear moons.
- Reroll. - Reroll.
It's time for the daily bubble.
Not now, honey. Daddy's in the middle
of a Cuban crime wave.
It's time for the daily bubble now!
Okay...
Every day we make a bubble
and see if we can beat our record for how long it lasts
before it pops.
Whoa, that's a really big bubble.
One, two, three,
four, five,
six...
That's a record.
Twelve seconds.
That wasn't a very good bubble, huh?
Uncle Benji!
Hey, little lady.
I just had a really long ride.
Where are you coming from?
Just came from L.A. this morning.
That's Ariel.
Your house is nasty.
Nasty's the new dope.
Hey. Weird to see you here.
Long time, buddy.
Wow. Are you stoned?
There have been serious improvements
in pot since college.
You guys have pot? So much!
Nick, discretion, please.
Hey. Who's this?
We've met.
Right. Yeah. You're...
You used to hump my stuffed animals.
Laura's roommate.
Yeah.
Oh, you guys haven't heard.
World's ending.
I'm going to take a nap.
Benji, check this out.
Holy shit. It's crazy.
We should get the fuck out of here now.
Burn it down!
Back up, back up, back up.
Come on, we don't want to get stuck in L.A.
This is unbelievable.
All this for a power outage.
No. It's got to be some sort of coordinated attack.
You should show them Berkeley.
I thought we could at least sleep there,
but it was way worse than L.A.
Fuck. They're breaking in.
It's going to get ugly.
- Just a second. - I want to shoot...
Are you fucking serious?
What's wrong with these people?
They're scared and reacting to a militarized police force.
Or maybe they're just selfish, lazy products
of an entitlement society?
Nick, your wife's a Republican.
Mm-mm. Libertarian. Okay, so you believe
in taking health care away from kids
and food stamps from hungry people?
I am probably the only person here who's been on food stamps,
so I get to have an opinion.
I just don't get why people
are going so crazy so fast.
Whoever is behind this is also planting bombs in semi trucks,
which means that shipments in and out of cities
are at a standstill.
So people are... They're panicking.
Can we please get some real information here?
Well, our TV only plays DVDs, but we could check the radio.
The local station
- Scattered reports via-
at least seven individuals in Oakland have been shot
by private security companies operating under orders
from their corporate overlords.
See what I mean? Commercial districts
are being locked down.
We're not going to see food moving from port to store.
Distribution pathways are the arteries of this country,
and we've just had a cardiac arrest.
Continuity of operation's plan is initiated, folks.
The Pentagon has moved...
All right, all right. Okay.
Hey, turn it back on.
Why? So you can get upset about some false information?
I'm calling my mother.
Don't call her in a panic. You're only going to scare her.
It's 1:00 a.m. in Miami.
All circuits are busy.
We have to go.
Okay. Now?
Yeah, now.
Can we just all calm down, please?
We'll wake up tomorrow
and everything will be back to normal.
Uh, Lily, no disrespect,
but you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
Neither do you. None of us do.
This is only going to escalate.
The system was rotten,
and now it's crumbling.
Benjamin, this is not a goddamn apocalypse.
And even if it is,
didn't we all say this would be the perfect place
to ride it out?
I've moved to this mall,
and I'm running out of gas on the genny.
When that goes, I'll be off the air.
No disparity.
Corporate nation states.
The Occupiers, the Tea Party,
all just canaries in the coal mine.
Somebody out there lit a match,
and now the fire cannot be contained.
Thank you.
Ya-hoo!
Lev?
Are you okay?
Am I dead?
No.
Did you walk all the way here?
Lev, look at me. You're dehydrated.
Listen, let's just walk this way
and get off the main road, okay?
Get you some water.
A doctor, maybe.
Oh, shit.
Not the greeting I was hoping for.
If you're here then whatever's going on is serious.
Hi.
Hey, Lev. I ran into him on the road.
He's either dehydrated or on drugs.
All right, let's get him inside.
Laura Sheppard.
Becky Snider.
Uh-oh.
Hey. Hi.
How are you?
Where are you going? Miami.
They can't all be closed. They are.
Maybe we should wait.
Just fill the tank, please.
It's a waste of gas.
We're staying.
Lev.
Laura? Yeah.
James.
Hey, we should go in the house and get some water.
Lily's going to be so excited to see you.
Okay. Okay.
I like this vest.
Hey, if there's a store nearby we should go now.
You don't want to say hi first? No. This is more important.
You must have been told something early on.
You never would have made it all the way across the country
before the airports closed.
I happened to be on my way to San Francisco.
Really? Really.
What, are you kidding me?
I got a call from an old friend in Homeland Security.
My name came up on a background check for Lev.
Lev? For what?
Apparently a virus took advantage
of existing pathways and network systems.
They're probably looking for hackers.
And you told them they got the wrong guy, right?
Right? I didn't tell them anything.
Do they know you're here? No.
Do they know where we are? No!
And you actually think Lev is a terrorist?
I haven't seen him since your wedding, James.
I don't know what I think. You know Lily hacks, right?
She and Lev have some online pissing contest,
you're going to turn her in?
I'm not turning anyone in.
Let's go.
What if someone sees you taking a bath?
Who's going to see?
I don't know. A wandering woodsman.
Lev, check this out.
Here you sit in a tub of infinite bubbles.
A T.I.B., naturally.
We'll definite integers as degrees of infinity.
Whoa, Lily. You can't have degrees of infinity.
Why not? Because it's infinity.
Oh, don't sass me, hacker,
'cause I'm the math-smacker.
Gonna freestyle flow like a salty lady cracker.
Are you going to sit there or are you gonna beatbox for me?
Welcome to Lemon's Market.
Hey, James. Hey, Donny.
Oh, no. We are not going to poison ourselves with mercury.
We've got plenty of canned goods in storage at the house.
Lower your voice.
There's nothing but crap here.
Are those necessary?
Dude, civilization depends on it.
That'll be 1,600.
I'll give you 300.
Suck a cunt. It's all I have.
What do you got that I want?
Gold watch...
plus a booby show.
I can't believe you did that.
It's no big deal. The whole world's seen my tits.
Hey! Give me my shit back!
Hey, hey, toss it over here.
Get in. Get in.
I thought you guys were leaving.
We decided to wait.
Is there anything to eat?
I just want something quick.
Thank you.
So, you and Nick.
Guess that makes sense.
You guess?
You know, I never got a wedding invitation.
You were in prison.
Nick knew I was in prison? That's funny.
Never came to visit me.
Well, as far as I know he never got an invitation either.
Gosh, what a bitch.
No, she's right.
Did you hear what happened at the market?
Heard the sheriff was run out of town too.
Are you worried?
Nah. We live so far up the hill.
You're up even further.
There's no reason for anyone to come up this way.
We trapped a few wild pigs, if you want one.
You have to butcher it.
Well, not this time. We'd love some more of that applesauce.
That'll be $30 even.
I'll put it on your tab.
That's what you normally charge. It's worth more now.
I'm not going to take advantage.
Thanks, Trisha.
Try bringing it back.
- Like this? - Back more.
Move back.
Daily bubble.
Yeah, in a minute, sweetheart.
Mama's having a very important beer.
Oh, wait, don't move.
Hey, guys, that's the President.
That's the President? Hey...
Emergency teams are on the ground
working to help control the chaos.
This is a serious time,
but we are a serious people.
We will find those responsible and bring them to justice.
Are taking every action to protect our citizens...
Daily bubble.
We can overcome this tragedy
and rise again as the great hope of the world.
God bless you, and God bless America.
How are we even getting this? I thought TV went digital.
Not all the way out here.
Daily bubble!
All right, fruit of my loins.
We'll do the daily bubble. Come on.
No. Daddy.
I am the inventor of the daily bubble.
Daddy stole that from me.
He did.
She wants you again.
It's a phase. She'll get over it.
James still vying for father of the year?
Fourth year running.
Hi.
Oh, I am so glad you're here.
Now let's get drunk and make fun of people.
I always liked it down here.
I wish I could live here.
Dude, it's a shack.
I thought your place was huge.
We spend all our time decorating and redecorating.
I don't even use 90% of the rooms.
You still haven't figured it out.
What?
What you want out of life.
You still having those panic attacks?
Haven't had one in years.
That's good.
Till two days ago.
Really?
It's really weird coming up here.
It's like going back in time.
I just keep thinking about everything.
And it's really strange seeing Lily again.
Come on. Wake up.
What are you doing?
I am trying to wake you the fuck up.
Stop hitting me. No.
You need to make decisions, take action,
live with the consequences... Okay! Stop hitting me!
All right. All right.
Yes.
Maybe. Yes!
One, two, three.
Another one.
Only one a day, or it's not special.
Let's go look for fairies in the forest.
Fairies? Yeah, I saw one this morning.
Maybe if we're lucky we'll find her.
Stay within view of the house.
No problem.
Lev, buddy, are you a terrorist?
I don't think so.
Cool.
You can't go commando if you're borrowing my pants.
There has to be some kind of barrier.
I do not share underwear.
What? They're perfectly washed.
Yes, but the memories remain.
Laura, can I talk to you for a second?
Hey, do-not-disturb zone, James.
Please.
She's my friend.
He said please. Ugh.
If we ration this
it should last quite a while.
We're in the middle of a growing season,
so we should have plenty of fresh vegetables.
But I think we should only eat half of what we grow,
and then preserve the rest.
Oh, what's that?
EpiPens, amoxicillin,
tetracycline, erythromycin.
Jesus, I had no idea you were such a survivalist.
I buy in bulk.
I think the medical fridge
is kind of crossing the prepper line.
I started an emergency checklist,
if you want to go over it with me.
Okay, you are aware of the fact
that I'm drunk right now, right?
Yeah.
We can do this later.
By the way, I asked Lev if he's a terrorist.
What? We're in the clear.
What do you mean you asked him?
I caught him off guard and carefully gauged his reaction.
James, you're a fucking idiot.
Hey.
Okay, all right.
Uh, we're going to go back in there,
and you are going to ask me the exact same thing
in front of him.
Laura, trust me.
You don't have to worry about Lev.
Either we're going to do this my way
or I am calling the authorities.
With what? Your Bat Phone?
Don't test me.
- That was good. - Laura.
Now I'm kind of worked a little bit.
Laura. Yes?
Are you a terrorist?
No. Can you pass the rolls?
Anyone here? Anyone engage any illegal or treasonous activity?
Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?
I have to ask. It's for insurance.
Anyway...
Good. Could you pass the wine?
God, James, you've become so paranoid.
We found out today
that the cops got run out of town.
What does that mean?
It means that we should talk about ways to secure the house.
Oh, I can build a security system.
You guys got a baby monitor or a cell phone or remote control?
Mm-hmm. Shouldn't be a problem then.
We should also talk about rationing.
Yawn!
- He's kind of right, Lily. - Come on, you guys.
This is the first time we've all been together in what?
Like eight years?
I propose we table all serious apocalypse talk until tomorrow.
All in favour?
Aye.
Anyone else? All in favour?
Aye.
All opposed?
Nay. Nay.
Lame. Lev?
Nay.
You're dead to me.
Becky, what say you?
Um, I don't care.
That's an abstention. Four to three.
Victory. Mandatory libations and celebration.
Cheers.
- To democracy. - To democracy.
All right, and onto the next order of business,
I propose that we all go around the table
and everybody say the one thing
they will miss the most about the old world.
Benji, you start.
Hmm.
I don't know.
I got nothing.
Seriously?
You're ruining the game and we haven't even started.
I know what Benji will miss.
What?
Starbucks.
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
Starbucks?
Yes.
I'm guilty of that. What a hypocrite.
Laura, what about you?
I will miss history.
What kind of bullshit answer is that?
Boring.
All right. Every Fourth of July I go to Mount Vernon
to re-enact the Revolutionary War.
It is one of the highlights of my year,
and I'm allowed to miss it. Don't judge me.
What happens at these re-enactments?
Well, I play George Washington.
You play an old, dead white dude?
Who led the American Revolution.
No big deal. Just the most coveted role,
which I have won five years running.
Forensics? Hollah!
Oh! Ready?
Rhetoric! Rhetoric!
One, two, three.
We're a set. What?
A set. What? Count it out.
One. Two.
Three. Mathletes.
What?
You're still really, really good at that.
Okay, I'm going to miss YouTube,
because now there's, like, zero chance I'll ever be famous.
That's probably a good thing.
Well, I was planning on getting famous
for my talent, not for fucking married senators.
Whoo! Senator, singular.
And I got 20 million hits, so suck it.
Literally.
Jesus. Whoa.
I'm really going to miss NASA.
You got a secret plan to be an astronaut?
No, James, but that doesn't mean I wasn't inspired by it.
No, I know what you're really going to miss.
Oh, yeah? Please enlighten me.
You're on it every day watching kittens wrestle with puppies.
That sounds very dangerous. Why would they do that?
You know me so well.
Becky, what about you?
Um, I guess if I had to pick one thing,
it would be...
volunteering.
What?
What'd I say?
I love it.
Are you fucking serious?
To volunteering.
- To volunteering.
What's your name, little lady?
Hannah.
Can I help you?
We're with the National Guard Regional Support Group.
We're here to gather information on who's in the area,
see what resources are needed.
How did you get past the gate?
Good-looking horses.
They look a lot like our neighbour's.
Our Humvee busted so we borrowed them.
Kyle here nearly got thrown off.
Tried to ride it like I seen in the movies, but it spooked.
You asked before taking them, right?
That's what borrowing mean, don't it?
It's a really nice setup you have here.
Definitely better than the other houses we visited so far.
You know, this would be a good place for us to set up base.
Canvas the area.
I mean, we're fine to crash on the couch.
Whatever's available.
They're just trying to help.
They need information to allocate resources.
Right. That's why they need my social security number.
I'm with Benji. Fuck the Man.
And what are you guys going to do?
Hide?
They have guns.
They're supposed to have guns, Lily.
They're soldiers.
I don't know, man. They really creep me out.
We have a gun.
Jesus Christ.
Why do you have that?
Lev? I found it.
It's loaded.
Fucking A. I can't believe you brought
a loaded gun into my house.
I'm sorry.
Look, I don't think we have any other choice
but to cooperate with these guys.
This is my home, not a military base.
They need a place to stay. It's not going to happen.
Well, I think we should put it to a vote.
It's not up for debate. All in favour, raise your hand.
Becky?
They can't force us to let them stay here.
Unless Congress has declared war and passed a resolution
requiring quarter, in which is unlikely
given how quickly everything has happened.
Third Amendment.
The Constitution is the bedrock of our freedoms.
You really should be more familiar with it.
We are not going to be able to let you stay here.
Uh, we're on official orders. If we want to stay, we'll stay.
You ever hear of a little thing called the Constitution?
"No soldier shall, in time of peace,
"be quartered in any house without the consent
"of the owner, nor in time of war,
"but in a manner to be prescribed by law."
I'm a soldier. My orders come from the Commander-in-Chief.
Actually, this is under the jurisdiction of Congress.
Kyle, why don't you go ahead and take a look around inside
while I get everybody's ID?
The right of the people to be secure in their person's houses
papers and effects
against unreasonable searches and seizures
shall not be violated.
I brought you snacks for the road.
This is your house, right?
Yeah.
So that's your pretty little
wife and daughter we met earlier?
That's right.
So who are these people?
They're my guests.
So we're not good enough to be your guests.
I didn't say that.
Of course you didn't.
Thank you for your hospitality.
Come on, Kyle. Let's go.
Okay, so we take the photodiode from the remote control,
we use the OneTouch on the cell phone,
run it through the baby monitor.
And you have a security system.
Where'd you learn how to do this?
I did some research on motion sensors
when I was working in Lebanon.
As a programmer?
A private consultant.
Doing what?
It's private.
I'm mostly just plugged in computers.
Okay, water's pumped from the well over here
into that tank over there.
Everything's powered by the solar panel.
If the pump doesn't break and the filter lasts,
we should be okay for a couple of years.
Nick, it's important someone else knows this
in case something happens to me.
What is going to happen to you?
I have a daughter.
Making sure she's taken care of means something to me.
What about Lily?
What about her?
Hey, the President's on again.
Fuck.
Americans stand together
and reach out a helping hand.
I want to assure you that the government is operating,
and full continuity of service will resume soon.
My first priority is dealing with those areas
most immediate.
Emergency teams are on the ground
working to help control the chaos.
This is a serious time,
but we are a serious people.
Make no mistake...
That's what he said last time.
We'll find those responsible and bring them to justice.
It's a fucking loop.
It's worse than that.
This is a pre-recorded generic post-catastrophic event message.
"We are a serious people."
That's code to communicate to certain parties
that martial law is in effect.
What parties?
Any operatives who may be unreachable
through standard communication protocol.
Senator Reese was a senior member
of the Homeland Security Committee.
I read every brief. I was his closest advisor.
Trust me, this is for real.
I loved him.
Who?
The senator.
He love you back?
He said he did. I don't know.
Maybe not.
Men aren't very nice to me.
Yeah, well, maybe that's because they think they don't have to.
You're very tough.
Am I?
Yeah.
You challenged the dean of the law school to a debate,
and won.
I did do that, didn't I?
Mmm. Mmm.
Hmm.
I'm not saying you have to change.
I'm just thinking maybe you should find a guy
that's more like a girl.
Jesus Christ, Benji.
That is terrible advice.
You know I'm right, though.
God, what do you think's happening down there?
Nothing good.
Then why aren't we doing anything?
Benji, I need you in the cabin.
What's up?
I'm high. I want to fuck.
It's the end of the world...
Yeah. ...in case you hadn't noticed.
Yeah, I noticed.
So I'm preoccupied.
Oh, okay. So you're too preoccupied
with the collapse of civilization
to fuck me right now?
Yeah, and people's lives are at stake out there.
People are the problem.
It doesn't mean we shouldn't care when people get hurt.
People brought this on themselves.
It's way more complicated than that.
I thought you were a real revolutionary.
Guess I was wrong.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
You're all talk.
Everyone likes to make speeches,
but at the end of the day
they're all just selling something, aren't they?
What were you selling, Benji?
Benji, you all right?
No.
Hey, it's time for dinner.
Are you okay?
He said I have to leave.
Where am I supposed to go? No.
You can stay as long as you need.
Yeah, you can stay at the house.
Thank you.
You're so amazing.
And you take care of everybody.
I'll see you up there.
Okay?
So you need to put a lot of pressure on the rock
to keep the drill straight up and down.
And then you use your shin to stabilize your left hand.
I was an Eagle Scout.
Isn't that just for boys?
My dad was a troop leader.
I'm on the books as Lawrence Sheppard.
Oh.
Yeah.
Nice.
See? Told you.
Laura's magic.
I'm going to go get some more firewood.
You catch any more wild pigs?
No, but Mitch set some small traps for rabbits and such.
It's kind of late to be out wandering.
Our place is just a straight shot down the hill.
James or Lily around?
We've been keeping our heads down.
It's been rough for folks at outlying farms.
We thought it was best to circle the wagons down at her place.
- That's a good idea. - Reason we come up,
the biker gangs on their way out of town raided the clinic.
We got someone who come down with an infection,
so we're collecting leftover medicines.
Yeah. We don't really keep that kind of stuff laying around.
Mention it to Lily, if you would.
Okay.
I heard Trisha was here.
Yeah, she came by last night.
What did she want?
Nothing much.
There were some people down there
setting up camp at her place.
How many people?
She didn't say.
Well, should we invite some of them up here?
Right. That's all we need.
More people to take care of.
Well, if they need help.
- Nick, we can handle this. - Just saying.
I mean, maybe I should have some say in the matter.
Yeah? And why is that?
Oh, you know, because of the property and everything.
What are you talking about?
You never told her?
What haven't you told me?
Uh, it's not a big deal.
It's just that, um, officially
I co-own the house with Lily.
That's not how I would put it.
Wait a second.
What?
Lily's mom passed when we were in college.
The taxes were piling up
and she was going to have to sell the house.
We were engaged.
- You guys were engaged? - Yeah, but it wasn't real.
She broke up with him a month later.
Why would you keep that from me?
It doesn't matter, because Nick isn't really
an owner in the house so much as an investor.
That's the same argument you used
to gain control of the business, isn't it?
No, it's not the same thing,
because Nick specifically violated our ethics code
when he tried to sell users' private data.
And that's exactly what made the company valuable
when you eventually sold it.
You shared in that profit per the settlement.
So did you! Hey, guys...
And what they chose to do with the company after we sold it
is on their heads, not mine.
Wow, you're a real piece of work.
We're ready to buy you out.
I already have a cashier's cheque
cut for half the current appraisal.
Is that why you invited us here.
No, it's not. Actually, yes.
James. In part.
And why should we trust your appraisal?
I had three separate appraisals done and I chose the highest.
I could have averaged them.
And is the land on that hill out front farmable?
If terraced, yeah.
And you've got a dedicated well, and solar power.
Becky, I'm talking to Nick.
We're in the middle of an apocalypse.
The property value is going to shoot through the roof.
♪ I make the same mistakes ♪
♪ Feels like I never learn ♪
♪ Always give way too much ♪
♪ For little in return ♪
♪ I haven't changed a bit ♪
♪ I'm still not over it ♪
♪ I make the same mistakes ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ I never did grow up ♪
♪ Feels like I never will ♪
♪ My friends are all adults ♪
♪ I'm still a teenage girl ♪
♪ I haven't changed a bit ♪
Having you up here this weekend really wasn't about the house.
At least not for me.
♪ I make the same mistakes ♪
I really missed you.
I missed you.
♪ They think I'm such a flake ♪
♪ They want to go to bed ♪
♪ I want to stay up late ♪
Oh, no.
Fuck.
I'm so sorry.
I... I'm so sorry.
It's okay. I...
No, no. It's okay. I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry.
I am.
Can I just say something?
What is set is set.
There's a reason that all this happened.
I know we're supposed to be together.
James doesn't appreciate you.
I don't want to talk about James.
♪ I make the same mistakes ♪
♪ Ah ♪
Nick?
Where are you?
Have you seen Nick?
No.
Did he give you a ring?
What, just now?
When you were engaged.
Oh. Yeah.
Um, it was his grandmother's.
But I gave it back.
Hmm.
Becky...
you're really lucky to have him.
He's kind and he's loving.
And he listens.
James fell out of love with me
when he fell in love with Hannah.
He wouldn't even notice if I was gone.
I'm sure that's not true.
I really don't belong here.
You know, it's your home.
You can make it whatever you want it to be.
Why don't you come inside.
I think Laura and Lev have a surprise for us.
The time is now near at hand,
which must probably determine
whether Americans will be free men
or slaves.
The fate of unborn millions will now depend under God
on the courage and conduct of this army.
Our cruel and unrelenting enemy
leaves us only the choice of brave resistance,
or the most abject submission.
We must therefore resolve
whether to conquer or die!
Yes! Yes!
Hear, hear.
Amazing.
Here's another one. Uh...
Two guys walk into a bar.
The first guy asks for H2O.
The second guy says,
"That sounds good. I'll have H2O too."
The second guy died.
I know I'm not the only one who didn't get that.
Okay, I'll be reciting a poem that I wrote,
called "All the Little Animals."
And it's about how nicely we should treat animals, Hannah.
All the little animals sitting in a row.
They have paw and claw, we have foot and toe.
On the outside they seem so different from you and from me.
But on the inside, they're the same as us.
Can't you see?
They want to be held and loved so much.
Just like the Canadians, the Chinese and the Dutch.
Yay!
Whoo!
And is this your card?
Nope.
- It's not? - No.
It's that?
Oh, wow. Is that your card?
Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
All right, how did you do it?
Real magicians never tell.
But you're not a real magician, so how'd you do it?
You know, I don't understand why people like magic.
I mean, if I knew how it worked it'd be interesting,
but now it's just annoying.
♪ Wobbledy, wobbledy, wow-wobble ♪
♪ Wobble ♪
♪ I'm sta-stacking my papers ♪
♪ My wallet look like a Bible ♪
♪ I got girlies half naked ♪
♪ That shit look like the Grotto ♪
♪ How your waist anorexic ♪
♪ And then your ass is colossal ♪
All right, all right, all right, all right.
Stop murdering the song, okay?
Lily, some of us were enjoying that.
Yeah, well, I am going to rock it old-school style.
And then y'all will find out what hip-hop is really about.
Give me a topic.
Anything? Anything.
- Banana slugs. - Don't be ridiculous.
Life in the ghetto.
Correct.
♪ What, what, yeah ♪
Old school is for losers.
Excuse me, what?
Just kidding around, Snoop Dogg.
You are not allowed
to teach my daughter about hip-hop.
I'm sorry she doesn't like you, but don't take it out on me.
What is your problem?
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one.
Call me a bitch again.
Ariel, just give it a rest.
Seriously, call me a bitch again.
Ariel, maybe you should step outside for a bit.
Maybe she should step outside.
Maybe we should both step outside.
Lily, enough. What, you're defending her now?
He's hoping I'll suck his cock.
Get the fuck out of my house.
Fine.
You all think you're so advanced and intellectual.
Well, I have news for you.
You're fucking weak.
And boring.
She's just a stupid kid.
I don't want her around Hannah.
Ariel!
Ariel?
We have pot!
Oh.
What? I'm bringing bush back.
You sure are.
Full bush, no shame.
Aren't you freezing?
I am a firm believer in the clean look.
Shit, I don't know how I feel
about being so middle of the road.
Waxing is so sexist. I mean, does Nick wax?
Of course.
You're kidding me.
Don't knock it till you try it.
It's more aerodynamic.
But doesn't the penis look lonely?
No. It's regal.
It's very Prince William.
Does he wax his balls too?
Can you wax a ball?
Mmm! So delicate.
I think you can wax a ball. You can wax a ball.
Wait, hang on. Does hair grown directly from the balls?
Or is it just encased in a bed of surrounding hair?
That's a good question.
James!
Shh!
Lily...
Do your balls grow hair directly from them,
or are they more like encased in a bed of surrounding hair?
Seriously, James, we really need to know.
So I kissed Lily.
What? I took your advice.
I went for it.
No.
I was telling you to be honest with yourself.
I wasn't telling you to sabotage a marriage.
You told me to do this.
No, this is not my fault.
You know what? You're right.
Why should I take advice from you?
I mean, are you really deciding what you want and going for it?
You're a loser who lives in a shack.
You never had an adult relationship in your life.
I went to prison for going for it, all right?
So don't sit here and tell me... You set some shit on fire
a long fucking time ago.
It was childish and stupid.
Is that all you want?
Really?
Yeah.
Okay.
Good night, then.
What are you doing?
Jailbreak.
Don't worry. I'm not a snitch.
You have got to stop acting like a child.
What? We're not allowed to have any fun in the apocalypse?
Do you realize how dire our situation is right now?
I'm trying to hold us together for Hannah's sake.
A stellar job so far.
Aces, really.
You're embarrassing yourself.
And you're embarrassing me.
I want a divorce.
What? You've got nothing to say. How do you want me to respond?
I'm dealing with real problems.
And our marriage isn't a real problem?
Not compared to our survival, no.
Okay.
We got soldiers at our farm now.
Those guys?
Yeah, well, they offered protection
and enough people felt like we needed it.
They eat our food, don't pitch in,
move up on some of the girls.
Mitch stood up to them
and they locked him in the shed overnight.
Jesus. The main one, Damon,
he's been talking about you,
and this solar-powered castle up here.
People are starting to listen.
They don't like this house full of outsiders.
We've been here for years.
They sent me up here to ask nicely for the medicine.
Or else.
What medicine?
James...
That girl, Ariel,
she's staying with us now.
She told us about your storeroom.
I understand your request.
You should have helped me out the first time I asked.
Things would be different now.
I say we hand over the medicine.
Can't there be some middle ground?
No. We cannot start giving into their threats.
Can't we just give them half?
We are going to need that medicine.
The medicine is not the fucking issue.
The issue is they need help kicking out those soldiers
before it gets worse down there.
They're armed. What do you want to do, start a war?
We didn't start it.
Yeah, but we can't finish it.
Where are you going? I need to think.
Fuck.
Son of a bitch.
You guys, has anybody seen Hannah's bear?
Hey, the phones are working again.
No, it's the security system.
Somebody's in the storage shed.
Now, when she told me about all the good shit
you were hoarding up here,
I honestly thought she was lying.
I mean, I said the guy was a selfish prick,
but that is just over the line.
Put the frying pan down, son.
Damon.
That's a filter for the well.
We're happy to share drinking water with you guys.
Iodine crystals.
Bingo.
Are you cooking meth down there, Donny?
You know what kind of people that attracts?
Don't pretend you give a shit.
Hey, Damon, that's the bitch from the senator's sex video.
I'll be damned. It's her.
I told you. Hey, Kyle.
Kyle, come.
Go on and tell her how you used to jerk off to her.
Hmm.
Do you want to die?!
Damon. Do not fucking move!
Homebody pissed his fucking pants.
Why don't you go on inside and unlock the fridge.
Don't make me ask twice.
Just so you know,
this particular unit has a microprocessor
that keeps them as reliable cold at negative 20 degrees Celsius.
Automatic evaporation tempered thermopane glass
and an air-cooled condensing unit.
Every day outside this fridge will reduce their potency,
and therefore their street value.
Do me a favour.
Box up some of this nice food
when you bring the fridge down tomorrow.
And I mean all of it.
I got something to say that'll cheer everyone up.
I was going to shoot myself in the head before I came here.
- Lev? - No.
It's okay. It's funny, because it turns out
I'm terrified of getting shot in my head.
Why would you want to do that?
It seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
But then I heard about the attacks.
And the power went out.
I don't know. I just felt like killing myself
would be potentially redundant.
So I went outside and walked around for a bit,
and when I came back home there were FBI agents everywhere.
Why were there FBI agents at your apartment, Lev?
Well, it turns out
I might be responsible for this whole thing.
What whole thing?
This collapse-of-civilization thing.
What did you do?
I said goodbye to everyone at once.
You sent the text.
And the virus that took down the power grid.
No. See, here's the thing.
Last year I was hired
to write a kind of super spam for Smartphones.
The idea was to be able to hijack the target's address book
and send a single text message to every contact.
Embedded with a virus that we spent months planting
in the most popular apps.
Why would you agree to do that?
Because it's completely interesting.
I mean, the goal was to send a text message
to every phone on earth, which could be cool.
Or not.
And I started to suspect not.
So I quit before I finished.
But then someone hacked my computer,
and they must have been watching when I said goodbye,
because they got that trigger code
that they were going to send.
And probably used it to detonate that attack on the power grid.
I was just playing around.
I hacked into Lev's computer as a joke,
just to see if I could do it.
You're Mr. E?
"Mystery."
Mr. E. Mystery.
Get it? It's funny, right?
I didn't do anything, though.
You opened a very locked, very secured door.
Some very bad people walked through it.
Oops.
Oops?
Just let me... Let me get this straight.
You two idiots
destroyed the world?
Well, we don't know that for sure.
It could just be this country.
Are they coming for me?
I don't think they're coming for any of us.
The government's big, but it's finite.
They'll lock down cities if they can,
protect our resources, infrastructure.
But places like this, we're on our own.
At least for a while.
You could turn me in, you know.
Find a place in the new government.
Get taken seriously again.
Even if you're not responsible it won't go well for you.
So, what are you going to do?
I don't know.
That's a real dilemma.
Yeah.
We should do a speech test.
What is that?
Basically what it is is you say both possible options out loud,
and whichever one sounds the most authentic, you go with it.
Okay.
I'm going to turn you in at the first possible opportunity.
How'd that feel?
I don't know, Lev.
Pretty authentic.
Hi. Hey.
What are you doing with an animal trap?
Just twiddling my thumbs so they don't fall off.
We have to take this off right away.
Okay, hold still.
Ah. Sorry.
That's okay.
Oh, the spring is stuck. Mm-hmm.
Do you have a screwdriver?
I got a knife in my pocket.
Why didn't you come up for help?
Just didn't really feel like talking to anybody.
This should do it.
My God.
Thank you.
That is the type of shit people invent.
I really don't understand how it's possible
not to hate every single fucking one of us.
Before my father left us,
he taught me how to set squirrel traps.
And sometimes we'd get lucky and we'd get a rabbit.
And I was always the one who had to kill it,
because my mom was never there,
and I wasn't going to make my sisters do anything like that.
So I'd take a rock
and bash its head in.
Why did you just tell me that?
Because I believe in hell.
And I know evil exists.
I mean, I've...
But I also know that good is stronger than evil.
Which is why I survived.
Becky...
I got to tell you something.
What?
Is there anything you want to tell me?
I don't think so.
You should just say it.
I don't... I don't know what...
If you still loved her why did you marry me?
Is that why we're here?
You thought you had another chance with her?
So you kissed her.
Yes.
And now?
Sorry.
You promised me.
You promised God.
Don't touch me.
Don't you ever touch me again.
It's perfectly clear that none of you liked me then,
and none of you like me now.
Nick, you have to go.
I don't want to see you here.
I don't want you around my daughter,
and I don't want you around my wife.
Actually, James, I think you need to go.
Nick, don't.
You want him or you want me?
You wanted a divorce.
You're clearly running around with Nick.
So you get what you want. But you don't get the house.
Don't be here when I get back.
Where's the fridge, asshole?
Hey, I'm talking to you!
I'm here to talk to my neighbours.
Oh, so now we're your neighbours.
Yeah. When did it start becoming okay
to steal and threaten each other?
No one stole shit from you, dude.
Yesterday your soldier buddies came into my house
and took some wine and chocolate.
Fuck you, man. We're eating Spam down here.
Whatever you've got to say, James, you better say it fast.
If I give you our medicine, what's to stop these guys
from selling it?
And using it to control you?
Anybody who is sick can come up to my house
and you will be given care.
So you get to decide to who gets the medicine
and who doesn't?
I stocked up on that stuff.
I get a little say on how it's used.
Sounds like death kennels.
That's not what I'm saying. My point is that if we...
What's your point?
This man is a criminal.
He didn't help our friend Donny over here
when he was being robbed.
He just drove off.
He put us all at risk storing away his medicine.
This is the kind of person I've been talking about.
People who take advantage.
It is time that we send a clear message.
That we are not going to bow.
To people of this type anymore.
No. no, please.
Please don't do this. I'm...
Fuck.
The time is now near at hand...
That must probably determine
whether Americans will be free men
or slaves.
The fate of unborn millions
will now depend under God
on the courage and conduct of this army.
We must therefore resolve
to conquer or die.
What the fuck are you talking about? Conquer who?
The enemy is us.
Each moment is an agreement.
An agreement to live in a certain kind of world,
which is the way it's always been.
We've just pretended like it wasn't.
This is half of our medicine.
From now on we work together.
Thank you. Don't.
I just killed somebody!
James, I just killed somebody!
I just killed somebody!
You just saved my life.
You saved my life.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Lily.
Hannah.
Oh!
I love you, Hannah-bear.
Where's Lily?
We need to find a place to camp before nightfall.
We can't go back.
I have to, Nick.
Because of Hannah?
Yeah.
And because of James.
Nick, come back. Please.
I have always been there for you!
When you wanted to start a company I found the money.
When you were going to lose the house I stepped in.
When have you ever been there for me?
You don't get to have it both ways.
You don't get to break my heart again
and still be my friend.
You really feel like that's what's happened?
Yes! That's bullshit!
You want what you want,
and you're not willing to see what's in front of you,
which is a good fucking friend.
I love you.
As what? As...
As a friend? That's bullshit.
It's not bullshit. It's real.
Come on.
I don't like myself very much anymore.
Goodbye, bear.
Goodbye, Nick.
Goodbye, world.
She asked me where you were.
And I couldn't answer.
Hey.
I'm sorry.
Me too.
Do you think...
Do you think you could just say that one more time,
just for the novelty of it?
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Say it again. I'm sorry.
I'm so...
Thank you for telling me.
I don't feel good about it.
I don't think it's snitching
if you're doing it to keep someone from getting hurt.
Where are you going?
I don't know.
But there's someone out there that needs help.
And I can't stay here
knowing that they're hoping for someone to come.
Like the way you came for me.
No justice.
Just us, right?
I don't want to say goodbye to you.
So don't.
Are you sure you can handle a convicted felon?
You sure you can handle a grown woman?
Only one way to find out.
The daily bubble!
James!
It's time for you-know-what.
Nick.
You want to do the honours?
One, two,
three, four, five,
six, seven, eight,
nine, ten, eleven,
twelve...
♪ Sleep don't visit ♪
♪ So I choke on sun ♪
♪ And the days blur into one ♪
♪ Backs of my eyes ♪
♪ Hum with things I've never done ♪
♪ Sheets are swaying ♪
♪ From an old clothesline ♪
♪ Like a row of captured ghosts ♪
♪ Over old dead grass ♪
♪ Was never much, but we've made the most ♪
♪ Welcome home ♪
♪ Ships are launching ♪
♪ From my chest ♪
♪ Some have names but most do not ♪
♪ If you find one, please let me know ♪
♪ What piece I've lost ♪
♪ Peel the scars ♪
♪ From off my back ♪
♪ I don't need them anymore ♪
♪ You can throw them out ♪
♪ Or keep them in your mason jars ♪
♪ I've come home ♪
♪ All my nightmares ♪
♪ Escape my head ♪
♪ Bar the door ♪
♪ Please don't let them in ♪
♪ You were never ♪
♪ Supposed to leave ♪
♪ Now my head's splitting ♪
♪ At the seams ♪
♪ And I don't know ♪
♪ If I can ♪