(optimistic percussion music)
(clapping and cheering)
- Good.
Our next guest is < br /> funny and funny comedian
and he must be weird and also very funny
(audience laughs)
- [Regis] I go to see your favorite comedy
in the world last night
- Of course you went to see -
- [Both] Gilbert Gottfried.
- Yes, someone saw Gilbert?
(audience laughs)
- He has been doing standup since the 1970s
and was named a Comedian Comedian by Vanity Fair.
- [Man] Have you ever heard of it? it was before him
called comic comic?
- He, him.
He really a different level
than anyone else doing comedy I thought.
- [Arsenio] Hey, you will be good tonight, man
Because I will not order You are no longer if not.
- Sorry, I can't
(audience cheers) I'm sorry, I'll be back.
Pretending not to see me.
- Good.
- When he introduced, pretending this never happened </ p >
- Now it's back.
- And the film - back there
- What's your dream? - My dream,
Usually involves a midget. </ P>
- Not that dream. - Yes. </ P>
- one when you wake up and you think about your career.
- Okay, fine.
Then there are five midgets.
(audience laughs)
- If the Catskills are located in the Twilight Zone,
Gilbert Gottfried will do it appear there tonight
- [Man] Jackie Gleason in Casablanca. </ P>
- You got it plane with Vic Laszlo
and I know it's you know I know
that You get on that plane
- Gottfried is a standup comic that has appeared
in a number of films
and it looks like he always < br /> plays an annoying creep.
- No no No!
Grumbling!
- But my dad said the third class is -
- Your father is stupid!
- Look at this, I really am marking that I'm molting
- You're alone responsible </ p >
to create full time position
sensor from Emmy.
- I slept much better since Peewee Herman
has been captured (laughs)
Masturbation is a crime, I have to
(laughs)
- [Host] Remember this is a family event.
- Yes, I know, that's him < br /> the first thing you tell me
- Yeah yeah
- That's the first thing that everyone tells me
Suddenly he goes away please, dear, kill me in the ass!
(gunfire)
It's clean.
(laughs)
- Now Gilbert. - Yes?
- [Regis] Not much is known about your personal life
- And thankful for that .
(laughs)
- Gilbert! - Yes!
- Apa yang kamu suka seperti anak kecil? - Apa?
I'm the same way, just smaller.
(laughs)
- You don't want to talk about your love life huh? </ p >
- What, what, as soon as it happens I'll tell you
all about it (laughs)
- [Man] what you really? talk like that
- Aflac!
- No, I usually have a strong Irishman.
You black dude, right?
- Yeah.
- How do you know you're having a gay picnic?
All hot dogs < br /> feels like crap
(laughs)
- I think this is an action.
Because if you are genuine, you are monster
(laugh)
He is.
- [Howard] I heard something about Gilbert Gottfried. - [Man] really?
- [Howard] Holy mackerel - [Woman] What do you hear?
- [Howard] Bring Gilbert I have to talk to him.
- [Gilbert] Oi.
- Really what I heard?
- [Woman] Are you married?
- [Howard] No, he's engaged.
- Oh what?
- [Howard] look at Pain in Gilbert.
- [Woman] Look at face, look at face!
- But here's more news big. - What?
- And tell me whether is true or not
Do you have a baby?
- No , no, I don't have it has worked out
(laughs)
- [Howard] How did this happen?
- I don't know
This boy will take more than a radio show,
this will take therapy
- Gilbert you're really trying to look after your whole
personal life, like you don't even want people
to find out if there is, what is it - - Yes yes. </ P>
- You still pretend to be - - Yes, yes
- You are the person we know all who do not have who -who.
- Yeah.
- It's really broken your whole personality
because you are a man who doesn't care -
- Yeah.
- [Howard] And now all Suddenly you did it.
- Yeah this is terrible </ p >
- So that's how it is won't tell us
One of the stories about how did this all happen?
(funny music)
- Oh man.
If it's 25 years old < br /> Gilbert or even, Lord,
one of the other Gilberts if they walk here
will definitely enter the wrong apartment
- Gilbert is very authentic on stage,
but he is very sweet, People who are rather shy off stage.
So there is something natural < br /> curious what drives him.
- He's weird and he's different
Every character is defective it doesn't work in life
work as a comedian
- Does he talk like that?
If it's only both from us and we're talking
and he'll know something really funny
yes, he did say that
Is he the character for all that
No, but he is very, very hesitant to lower the guards
- I think there is
(laughs)
And being a husband.
I think there's nothing more surprised from him
- I don't know, when I heard that there was Dara,
I was actually curious what this person would look like
- I'm afraid to meet him because I said that would happen
the most emotional broken, I can't,
like a girl, I imagine A girl who is deaf mute
who will never look up
(soft music)
- I'm glad you dress.
- [Gilbert] yes
Nobody told me dressed.
- do you have shorts below?
- Yes.
I still feel very uncomfortable go, you know, my wife
Still feels weird. </ P>
My children. </ P>
It still feels weird to say it.
Because no seems real to me
- Oh, I'm Dara and I married Gilbert
I'm Dara and I am Gilbert's wife.
- this is the first I've heard of it.
- Nice to meet you. - Yes alright.
(laughs)
- He never had boyfriend by the way
He never had a relationship.
Then he ended up with a beautiful girl with two children?
There is hope for everyone.
- Oh, come on in
- Oh yeah.
- Nice to meet you.
I'm a mother
(light music)
- Okay so this picture a family photo of this year
Max, Dara, Gilbert, and me.
- Max Gottfried. - Nice to meet you </ p >
- Nice to meet you.
- And this picture from two years ago
- [Neil] who is that
- That the same person there
(laughs)
That's the same person in this picture.
I told you.
- He did it, he said jokes for people.
- And he sells books and films.
- Yeah. - What did he do?
- And there are toys from him and stuffed animals from him.
- Um...
(laughs)
- Daddy
Want candy, you want Lily gummies?
- I don't have gummies. </ p >
Love you.
- [Max] Hurry up Lily, baby You're Daddy, baby Daddy!
- See you, goodbye, goodbye!
- See you - See you
- Quite often I see my life
as a Twilight Zone episode like that episode
where a man is awakened and he is really in this matter
a different world, a totally different life
I wake up and what do I go Is this another outfit?
depends here and what this weird apartment
where does the furniture fit?
And they go why, you are married sir
What are I and some people women living here
Yes, you are a woman and two children
are your children sir </ p >
(laughs)
I don't think I can imagine that
and I hope I can enjoy it all,
but I feel like I'm still not awake
and say oh, this is my life
(telephone ringing)
Let me just see if this is Dara & apos; s
(beep)
Hello, hello?
- [Gilbert] Finally, Neil is here
- Uh yeah that means making love to you
- Good. (beeps)
(laughs)
- When I first met Gilbert -
- I did nothing but clean.
- There's nothing dirty in his actions
He won't say dirty words in his actions
For a long time.
Not until Aristocratic, right?
- Maybe. </ P>
- You like insisting about staying clean
- Yeah. </ P>
- You are complete opposite
p>
- I like Art Linkletter they usually compare me to
- There is nothing you use to say that you think
that it
- Yeah.
Yeah like fuck and shit cunt and blowjob and dick and pussy.
Those words I never said.
- You never used to say it.
When you first dated-- - Pussy.
- Pussy, pussy, dick, fuck you, fuck you you mispronounced.
- you don't like when damned people in their actions.
- Fuck you - You don't, you remember that?
- Curse on your fucking pussy, That's how I curse, make love to you.
- He won't say all that. When we first date. </ P>
And he does yoga. </ P>
- Yeah. </ P>
(light music)
- You know that it's hard to remember
People ask me this a lot, is he funny?
And you know he is mine you become difficult for me
even to remember like that is there something extraordinary
about him?
Growing up I can't say him like funny
or something.
He used to do shows, but it was a little later
even though he was more like a teenager.
- He has a natural feeling humor but I only remember him
as I will say He is shy and reserved.
- The only thing that I remember is that
the first night when we went to Stone of Persuasion
and they were open mic and I remember how
I was impressed with the comedy
- He is still very young, my goodness.
He goes up and he is doing some jokes
and I remember clearly someone says, "Shut up!"
- Still funny you know
And he got to the point where he is a player.
Gilbert waving Previously, he was recognized
at the airport and now he doesn't want to come
video tape
- He's shy about the camera
People assume that he's his stage characters all the time.
That is the furthest away something from the truth
He wants to be like the character he likes that
but he doesn't want himself on videotape.
- [Arlene] And that's different, if you will pay that person
a million dollars that will he uses the action but if not,
he won't do it (laughs)
- [Karen] I don't want that action.
He doesn't want to be on camera
unless he does the action
- Yeah, I'm afraid they won't like what they see
or whatever they like about me, whatever it is
being entertained by them may not...
But that's always the case, this like from the Wizard of Oz.
Don't look at that person behind the curtain .
You don't know how they reacted to you after that
- Who are you?
- I'm great and Great magician Oz. </ P>
- You are? </ P>
I don't believe you
(optimistic music)
- our guests this week is an actor, writer,
voice over artist, and one of the most successful
and popular standing comedians in the world
A man is too important and busy to be caught dead
appearing on this show, Our friend Jim Gaffigan.
- Oh thank you, thank you You have to have me
It's an honor, Gilbert.
- Yes.
- this is cool we do this
on Friars too right?
- Oh yeah.
Now let's talk about Your first special
- Good.
- Bitches suck my cock
(laughs)
- I'm known as clean comics.
This is different from me think it will happen.
He is much different.
I don't understand this.
- And now you really like to stand up. </ P>
- I like it
Don't you feel happy afterwards? a set or what you feel,
are you someone who has never felt good after a set?
- Well, my fantasy first I will go on stage
is the manager < br /> will be back on stage
and go there like fire or flood -
- Oh, that's interesting.
- This is your check, go home
- Yes, it's me feel like standing up
can heal me misery life
So if I'm sad that can change my mood
If I'm too sure of that sort of balancing me out
Like I always think of it strange when people like
can you believe Seinfeld is standing up?
I'm like he's not have everyone's choice
- Yeah.
- It's like it used to be you are a comedian,
You have that heroin on your system
No, here it is in Friar Monastery
There are 90 years old comedians who ride -
- Oh yes.
- It can hardly move and when they get on stage
they're kind of lit.
- [Frank] Gilbert is one of them.
- Yes. (laugh)
- I'm calling Dara recently and I said, "Where's Gilbert?" </ P>
And he went on the road. </ P>
And where did I go? </ P>
He left San Antonio.
I said Gilbert Gottfried alone in San Antonio now.
I don't believe that.
I don't believe !
I said who took he went to the club,
who got him in the hotel room,
who opened it his bag,
who told him where was his toothbrush?
I lost sleep on it.
(light music)
- Oh.
- He is often on the road.
He will go on a Wednesday or Thursday,
Maybe a gig that night, the start and end of the event
on Friday, the beginning and a final show on Saturday,
flying back to Sunday or Monday
You know it's a grind, it's tiring.
- Now I'm packing very neatly.
These are shorts , t-shirt, some manuscripts for something
This is usually my flying shirt.
This paper might be something I don't need
See this why I have to clean this up
This is outdated my socks have
that I will use today
Dara's idea at least < br /> put some items in the bag.
This is actually a good idea.
- anyone talking about how famous he is?
- [Neil] sedikit.
- Yeah, I just heard the story
When he entered voiceovers and he likes
emptied all the candies into his damn pocket
- [Gilbert] Here are some peanut butter biscuits
which I clearly got free somewhere
- I think he's the only guest who took all the soda
from the dressing the room on the show
I have to take this with me.
- I imagine he's wearing cargo pants a lot
(laughs)
- Oh the box, the two boxes.
This one is DVD- my.
The term is goods.
So they will go after you sell any item
What items do you have?
So I carry items. </ P>
- When you live in a three million co-op
in New York City like Gilbert indeed,
It's strange to sell a DVD after your show
Especially if nobody has Fuckin 'DVD player again
- He is one of the cheapest people in the world
So Gilbert will rather shortcut wherever he can.
(soft music)
- You can't do that for yourself.
You can't.
That's how you finally get < br /> shorter and damn, you're fair
keep yourself tight. on the back of the bus.
How's he going on the bus?
There is no one there Will it be Gilbert Gottfried? </ P>
(laughs)
Hey I want to use the bathroom on the bus, I can't,
Gilbert Gottfried is there.
- Is Gilbert Gottfried riding the bus?
(laughs)
That's awesome, I'm a fan of Aladdin.
- Hey, hey how are you
- when did I go my hotel got my brush -
- This is you dear, this you go dear
- Hey you have an armpit?
- Huh? - Under the arm.
- Let me see if we are here
What do you know?
Because you are very dear I gave this to you.
- Oh thank you.
- Here it is.
- See?
Years in business.
You get the free underarm ounce.
(laugh )
Here we are torn up, beat up, dirty couch
and in the office it's messy and I'm sure the audience thinks
it might be some palace here
Dangerfield has this line he always says
It doesn't matter how big you are
you always enter through the kitchen
(laughs)
And that's true.
It's like what you watch through the kitchen
Be careful because the floor is oily and you go up on the stage
to clap
(clapping and cheering)
You know Michael Douglas says that according to him
he might have had a throat Cancer from doing oral sex
on his wife
I don't know
I think cancer is a small price to pay
lick Catherine Zeta-Jones's pussy.
(laugh )
(funny music)
I will take whatever cancer strains
Lick Catherine Zeta-Jones's pussy.
You can give me Parkinson's disease
Lick Catherine Zeta-Jones & apos; s pussy.
You can give me a combination polio and leprosy
lick Catherine Zeta-Jones's pussy.
You can give me Lou Gehrig's Disease.
You can give me a form muscular dystrophy is very strong
that while I'm licking Catherine Zeta- Jones' s pussy
Jerry Lewis emerged from it. </ P>
(laughs)
(imitating Jerry Lewis)
Thank you good night .
(cheering and clapping)
You want to know what's great stars out on the road?
You know like saying Rolling Stone only does big shows
lalu apa yang terjadi selanjutnya?
Alright, I'm soaking my socks
and panties in the sink.
I read somewhere that foam doesn't do bad things
in shampoo and soap.
But people like foam.
You know you like shampooing and get lots of foam
or wash a single one /> soap and see foam
and it doesn't do anything.
So this is mine panties and socks.
Dip them under quickly because it will burn my fingers.
This is good hot water.
And so it is.
Then I watch TV or floss my teeth.
And I live this life a celebrity
(Max yells)
- Max you have to go out < br /> because I'm shooting something
You want to help me put all of this back?
- [Neil] Yeah
- Oh my God.
- So Gilbert isn't will leave it I throw anything
He hoarded everything.
He will come home from the hotel with a bag of goods like this.
Is it You need hotel slippers? </ P>
T-shirt, forget it. </ P>
He has so many t-shirts, look at all this
And then wait.
All the shirts I have under here and pants
and then endless, an endless supply of soap,
every bed has a bucket this soap and shampoo.
- [Neil] Damn
(laughs)
- This is only one .
It continues.
Oh man.
You sure you don't need something
There are so many.
Oh look, Lady Speed Stick, I will use it.
When we move from hers the old apartment it owns
soap from PanAm and Eastern Airlines.
(laughs)
(soft music)
So basically I don't want he becomes uncomfortable
so I keep it under the bed.
(laugh)
- If he is here right now he will be very shy
Because he really shy when
Forgive Gilbert.
I used to work in the music business
and that's why I at the Grammy party.
Gilbert was invited by his friend
and we both stood in the row at the food table.
He just, he looks like that lost and sweet sweet sweet
He asked for my phone number and actually
only two days passed and he took me out
for coffee and dessert
He drove me home late at night
and spent an hour telling jokes turtle
and I think this is the most strange date I've ever had
but I feel very comfortable
and he's not like a man man I have met before.
I know he feels like he is like
episode of Twilight Zone, but I don't know
It looks like we are fit very good together
- He has given this life a structure that I don't know
Gilbert is the right person < br /> appears with dirty clothes
When she's single and she doesn't work properly.
And I think Dara is the perfect woman for her
She's really strong , he got it
As soon as he fell love with Gilbert
won't be there be someone else
I mean this is one of the most unique human life
- Look at this is a kind of a Waste of filmmaking in a car
When we are bright. </ p >
It just ruins the whole, oh, here it is, we go.
It's interesting, huh?
- Hi I'm Dara - Kevin
- Kevin, nice to meet you
(door bell rings)
- [Arlene] Come in!
Good morning. - Good morning. </ P>
- You walk here - Yeah. </ P>
Kami akan berjalan di sini.
- [Gilbert] Pretty much every day when I'm in town
- Uh yeah I visited my two sisters
- I guess. (laughs)
(easy music)
- My mother is very quiet so it's hard to know
exactly how she feels about it but I think he enjoyed it.
- [Lillian] you see how can't you stop?
That doesn't make sense.
(laughs)
- My grandmother too more than my mother,
I think it's very happy.
- My grandmother always joking,
it's funny
He likes to laugh.
(laughs)
There's something in DNA or whatever it is
Because I think we all have it different creative gifts
At that time I always took family photos,
the place I like to go.
Capturing moments.
This is my book, my first book
Selwyn Rawls and Abadi Light Community Broadcasters,
a gospel choir in New York.
I joined them after a while.
- Yeah, this is like the power of that attracted me to take pictures of them
keep pulling me
(gospel choir music)
I miss singing, I used to love it. </ P>
This is a good release and a good expression. </ P>
* I know
* Good sir you stand up
- What is happening? </ P>
This should be be my documentary
Jesus. </ P>
(funny music)
I grew up in Brooklyn.
- here it is - Yeah.
- [Gilbert] For years back I'm still small
Look at some people who know this, I keep it a secret.
I remember--
- [Gilbert] Oh my god
- [Arlene] You see that a little go in there in the middle,
that metal, it's a sign metal.
- [Gilbert] Oh my God, that's it!
- That's really the only memory
it's still alive and Well that's a little sign.
- [Gilbert] Wow
Our father put it up there.
- He is a handyman and a very good one
He thinks Gilbert will do it for a good electrician
- He's good.
He likes walls, rewire , plaster it.
I don't have all that.
I can hardly change the light bulb.
- Uh, that's all people say he looks like him the most.
(soft music)
- This is his apartment we all grew up on
- My father, he used to be very angry
about things about my sister
He's worried about it he won't do it well
or won't have trade.
Things like that.
- [Arlene] And why does that happen?
- Uh yeah, lots of memories are here
Well I fell out of high school
That's not a good thing.
I'm sure my father thought, you know,
He's a loser in that group.
- People always think as you want
your parents' agreement?
Well, I think so, but I remember when my father
still not alive a sign of success anywhere
in the future.
My father died at the age of 66.
I am 18 or 19 years old. </ P>
- I think most comedians have a need to impress
their parents. </ P>
For me it's the saddest things in the world,
Your parents never saw you were successful
- I think we all have have a little personal audience
no there are others who know we want approval from
And maybe we can't get from them,
maybe they don't be with us anymore ,
and so what we do is replace
strangers give our agreement
- People want to say everything /> At that time, comedian
broken and that why did they go to comedy
or they look for approval, and yes, those things
are really all right , But that's true for firefighters
and teachers and plumbers, that's true for everyone
And that's the reason why comedy work
is because everyone feels it.
- [Announcer] Please Give a warm welcome
to the great Gilbert Gottfried.
(cheering and clapping)
(mild jazzy music)
- What will I tell you, in the late 70s and we first met
Improvised, 44th and 9, Hell & apos; s Kitchen.
Where in New York where is it only
dank and dirty and dangerous.
- I will never forget the first time I saw it,
I was in Catch A Rising Star.
- This person came on stage at like 12:30 in the morning,
You know what grave shift.
The energy is turned off the graph and he just
fix everything
- She's funny, weird, screaming, weird,
Brave things on the stage, and I ask someone what is that?
And they say it's Gilbert.
- Oh thank you, oh thank you you, oh God bless you
(laugh) </ p >
Oh thank you, thank you very much.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you. (laugh)
Thank you a lot.
I thought I was 17 years old at that time I entered Catch.
There used to be a line outside
and you will get on line to do an audition
so one day if they accept you, you can work
it's free, that's how the club works.
- You know when you think about that comic boy like him
15 o'clock, with that type strange voice and acting,
I'm sure he must do it fighting a lot of crowds,
like they have to have just < br /> booing and strangling him offstage
a lot of time and I think that's a lot of his voice
is talking about a A rough and messy crowd.
- Has this ever happened to you?
Has this ever happened?
You wear you shirt and you button it
and one side is longer than the other and then you (shout).
(clapping)
But seriously, that's right combing your hair
and the parts are crooked and you (mumble)
and you have to comb that again!
When people ask me like your delivery now,
when did you first develop it?
Hi, for you who just set it,
This is a joking Jew. </ P>
(laughs)
It seems you don't know. </ P>
I just got on stage a few billion times
and then one day get up and leave oh,
It seems like I'm now.
He's crazy.
Dia orang sakit.
It's nagging and raving a desperate cry for help.
- He doesn't care if you don't like his first joke
Because maybe you will like the second,
maybe you will like the third one, and he keeps going.
- [Gilbert] Well I don't want be here more than you do
(laugh)
So let me bolt this and we can all
get out of here
p>
- The audience isn't has anything to do with his appearance, because he doesn't rely on
on the audience to be part of his routine.
- It's a tightrope running.
With Gilbert, is this Gilbert's crowd tonight?
I don't know, let's find out.
He doesn't really care.
Very brave and very funny
- Tony Curtis spoke for Gavin McCloud
Hello Gavin.
Hi Tony
How are you?
I'm fine.
Do you want coffee?
Good.
I think I'll have a donut. </ P>
Alright, I will have it too. </ P>
You will have two donuts? </ P>
I will go to the club, I don't think I will go
every night yet
After a while it just hit my , I thought I would go
every night.
And then it becomes weird because it becomes addicted.
I mean, I will go while there there will be a transit strike,
snowstorm
- Yes, I remember one My time worked one place
and they really gave me $ 7 and I thought it was amazing.
And then I came back Next time they gave me $ 5.
- Hug
Oh come on.
Are you carrying a partner? extra just in case?
- Good. </ p >
- Happy Anniversary. - Yes yes.
Good.
- Love you. </ p >
Love you, have fun
Oi.
(mild jazzy music)
- If Gilbert defines himself as a comic,
that comes with certain expectations
and greater shortcomings.
- Standing comics life is, oh god </ p >
You know, I say stand their agents don't know why
we bitch me like you don't understand.
You get 10% to answer the phone basically
I go to this, I go to Denver, I physically go to Denver.
I disassemble, I hang out with people from Denver
and I tell their jokes. </ P>
It's not glamorous at all, at all
- I don't know whether I ever had a clear vision
about what success will happen.
And whatever that is, that always different,
the way everything changes always different
than you imagine them.
- Yeah, yeah
- Oh, okay, where is it? </ P>
- you're going there - Alright okay okay
- So they feel like they can be GI invaded the bunker
in Normandy. - Oh.
(laughs)
- [Man] Well that's the thing you know.
The Germans lost the war but they won the fashion show.
- Yeah . (laughs)
- Hi.
How are you?
- Oh good, good
- It's fricking nice to meet you
- oh thank you.
- I'm a serious person
What are you doing here?
- Yeah, that's him I want to know.
Oh!
Feeling nervous a Jews so close
(muttering )
(clapping)
An old Jewish woman brought her grandson to the beach,
his grandson is three years old.
The old Jewish woman fell asleep in the sand
and her grandson began to wander.
Waves swept her body and dragged her farther and farther away
going out into the water
The Jewish woman screaming to save my grandson
and a man walking forward, jumping in water,
and swim against the current
and the waves knocked he fought the rocks
and he became very bloody.
Then he finally swam get out, reach for the little boy,
Raise him out of the water.
Giant sharks start come to them and the man
starts beating sharks.
(laughs)
Well, I didn't mean beat sharks.
(laughs)
Because if you defeat it sharks will be made
the shark sticks up.
So he hits sharks and sharks that go away </ p >
oh oh oh oh no
He punched.
Wait, should I start from the beginning?
There are two sharks there now
and the ones he finger on the pussy
and the others he beats off and he talks dirty.
Yes, there it is, I feel your pussy
You shark hinged shark
and I hit you off, fuck you bitch! </ P>
Okay, where am I?
So he holds a little Son and he brings him
to the beach and he drops him on the sand </ p >
and then the child doesn't breathe and he is pumping
His arms go up and down.
Finally the boy spits up up the water and he lives
and the beach cheers and grandma's grandmother
goes, "He has a hat."
(laughs)
- Good night. - Night
- You sell books and CDs?
- Oh yeah.
- [Man] what will you like (muttering)?
- I will take a DVD - DVD, oh, DVD?
- Your podcast is mine favorite thing every week
- Oh thank you. </ P>
- It's true, that's right very pleasant, thank you
- Good show, great show.
- Thank you.
Oh my goodness.
(laugh)
And that's how it started. </ P>
Ah! </ P>
- You're very good on the stage. </ P>
- Oh thank you. </ P>
Heil five
- I feel bad about the uniform.
- Why, it doesn't wrinkle.
This is pressed - Thank you. </ p >
- Thank you. (laughs)
- Actually I have a joke for you
- Oh. (laugh)
- Why is Michael Jackson divorced twice?
- Oh why?
- Come home with crayons on his collar
(laughs)
Yeah that's bad but, Blankets know
- Well that's not the worst things the Nazis have done,
Michael Jackson's bad jokes
(laughs)
("The Infernal Galop" from Orpheus in the Underworld
by Jacques Offenbach)
It's usually not like this.
Usually they don't have soldiers throughout history
following you around wanting your signature </ p >
You don't usually have it Nazis who want their photos
taken with you
- [Man] Okay everyone says -
- [All] Aflack. </ P>
(laughs)
- Oh, here it is, God
This is only material.
Wow.
So that's how I write it down
- Oh, sieg heil, and I will see if I remember this
I will go, you know before Hitler come with this sieg heil
he must try a few others. </ P>
That doesn't work too.
Like he'll go out on the balcony
and give a fiery speech
and work the crowd hustle and bustle and then go sieg heil!
- People become appreciate far humor
from Gilbert Gottfried
He's right
You might have seen it now in Beverly Hills Cop 2.
I don't know, has Gilbert ever seen in another film?
- Yes, he will tell us
- alright
- He's a good interview
(laughs)
(optimistic music)
- are we on - Oh we're on
- Yeah we are - we are now
- how can it be the camera behind there?
(laugh)
What happened?
- People like Gilbert.
He made the initial Explosion, he came out
and he immediately threw a punch.
- What did you play in this film?
- Uh I played hard, annoying Jews
which is a stretch for me </ p >
- It's back when if you have a place like that
in your movie it explodes.
Especially if it's Eddie Murphy movie, forget it only.
- Are you try to say sir
- As you will hold something in that hand
and this is your hand forget it.
This hand...
- The absurd impressions and long-winded tangents
has made Gilbert Gottfried a man you can't easily forget
- Why do people wear shoes?
- [Man] comics no problems
developed into a film actor.
- A little noisy, but Aren't we all at that age?
- [Man] How are you? < br /> advanced film career?
I mean you're clear developing, how are you?
- I'm developing, I'm developing.
This continues with the second one.
She's a whore!
(laughs)
Prosecutors are.
Every minute it develops.
When we speak it develops.
- Nobody in business believes
that they can have actual conversations with him
- this character-- - Yes? </ P>
- You have grown - - Uh huh. </ P>
- Is it based on you -
- Can you say that? <
- Thank God this is almost Above, this interview.
- Are you climbing up your skirt?
- No. < br /> (laughs)
- Now I'll ask you two questions.
- Yes.
- I'll ask You two questions -
- Yes. - And you will answer it
- Yes. </ P>
Can I ask a question?
- No, this isn't yours damn shows Gilbert!
You answer my question
- Wait, have you ever had sex with Paula Abdul?
- Oh! (funny music)
- We want to know isn't it?
- You don't have to imitate spontaneity with Gilbert,
and you don't have to imitate danger now He will do all that for you
- Local film production - - Can I do the plug and me? get out of here
- (laugh) - may I beg you?
I'm in Aladin, just look.
- Okay, okay you got married princess right?
- Very strange when you first heard in grapevine
It is at this club Gilbert & apos; s will be in Aladin
- And then we drop daddy in law and little woman
from the cliff.
(laugh)
- I like your way Little feathers of mind work.
- Funny because Aladdin is like that, it's Disney!
He's not Disney.
- There will be be a new Aladdin,
It's Jafar's Return, and it goes right,
he has everything the movie doesn't have.
Frontal nudity is full. - really
(laughs)
Now Gilbert, you're not breaking down I'm a Disney costume guy.
- Yeah, I'm someone who is similar to Disney
You know I just finished reading Mackenzie Phillips's book autobiography.
In Mackenzie Phillips & apos; s autobiography,
he said so he is a little girl,
his father will go inside sleep with him every night
and have sex with him.
This is for me very confusing.
I can't get my daughter to hold my hand
When we cross the road.
(laugh)
We are running past him passing traffic
and he pulled away from me
and this man nailed his daughter every night
And I didn't say that I want me daughter to have sex with me
I just want her to know it's the Barbie Dream House
- not free - ( laugh)
(funny music)
- Oh yeah, which one is bothering me?
- [Neil] Yes
- Well I don't really like Mackenzie Phillips jokes. </ P>
Ugh. </ P>
- The worst thing You can say to me
don't joke about that (laugh)
If you say don't joke about that, it's wrong,
it's terrible if you're kidding about, well,
then I'll joke about
- He told me to shut up.
- Gilbert is still a child and he is a demon at the same time
Surely Dara saw that in in him.
My guess is Dara really patient
when they start out.
Really patient today
But you know, Dara now has literally three children. </ P>
(mumbles)
- Look see. - What? </ P>
- He woke up.
You know at night I heard him move
and then I went here and he sat like this </ p >
with his eyes open. - That's weird.
Don't jump down buildings, you will die
- [Man] Yes, don't let He jump down the building.
- Very soft. - right
- [Gilbert] Okay Maxy, Maxy.
- Should I take pictures of from Max in his glasses? Like that ?
- [Gilbert] If you want, definitely. - Wait a minute.
Just one minute. - Where is your camera? </ p >
- [Arlene] I have to find it.
- Camera. - What type?
- [Arlene] alright Max hold tight.
(laughs)
- Not too tight.
- Well I like this
(laugh)
- [Arlene] That's good. </ P>
- Certain things, not everything
Certain things, yes. </ P>
(music soft)
- My brother Arlene will chronicle my mother's life
I think it's more me mother's death in a certain way
You know her in recent years < br /> live alone,
his last year in the care of home and hospital.
I won't touch it.
I think it will be too weak or too closed about it.
- That's how I know how to deal with it,
by photographing
That's how I overcome pain
and seeing him fade.
You know from all Other work I've done,
This is a very intimate job < br /> and reveal about him
and to show him like being vulnerable
that I am almost, I'm afraid.
- He really is < br /> very good
that we don't really talk about things like that,
But he said something like well,
that's the point photos, You know
And I'm stunned.
- It's emotional, that's right very emotional for me
to see the book
Honestly, to be honest, this is the truth,
there are some pictures from me a day after
My mother passed by and I look at that and I say
That's the saddest day of my life
Without question, that's right the saddest day of my life
- it's definitely bringing back memories
and it brings back my father.
I can hear it daddy's voice said
Your parents no will be forever.
And as bad as that when your father died
something about your mother dying
the really interesting the carpet from under you
- Yeah, yes I definitely a mama's child
(laughs)
- You also don't know his sister was married </ p >
and they will all meet Arriving at his mother's house.
He's like a center.
- Yeah, yeah even mine Grandma Van Dyke did it .
Yes at the age of 89 years.
- How old are you now?
- I was only 90 months ago.
- Oh my goodness
(laughs)
- I don't feel 90, this is funny. </ P>
I think it's all in your head. </ P>
Maybe emotionally, but I just don't feel it.
- What I want to know is if you have a son who is 65 years old
do you still see that as your little one
- Oh , of course, yes I they never grow up.
I said you can't do it Because I'm 65 years old.
(laughs)
- Hey can we sing together?
- Yeah.
- Because I have a few your lyrics are written
- Lyrics ? - Yeah.
- Good.
- Well here
Here, here, we both wear our glasses
It's like we're at home.
Okay, wear a happy face.
- You choose your key
- You talk about a untrained singers
(laughs)
* The sky will be clean
* Put it on a happy face
* Brush from clouds and cheers
* Put it on a happy face
* And present sunlight all places
* Put on a happy face
I only sang with Dick Van Dyke.
(chuckles)
Dan I think I'm coming.
(laughs)
(light jazzy music)
Look at this is a comedy cruise, so they have handed over each - each
we're fake mustaches
Eh?
Many people watch me and go ooh boy
so you are there, you can take any movie or TV show you want
and now you have succeeded and no, no one can leave at any time.
You must be a little more impressed with me
Have you ever heard John MacGuyver me?
Everything has to be done on schedule.
- Difficult career career In show business, that even
is more difficult to maintain and comics are people who
for them to be success must come out
and make strangers laugh
People you don't know laugh.
- I don't want to say I Wives cook it badly,
but how can you burn jello ? (laughs)
Oh that's beautiful, oh, What a beautiful crowd.
What an extraordinary audience.
Years ago you could have told me
you will continue to walk the stage for the audience
20,000 people and will be broadcast in all the earth
and I will go oh, okay
A scene from every Mystery of the 1940s murder.
Beat me
(laugh)
And now when I'm going to do it Come on there's a part of me
Will I still do this?
I don't know how to do this. <
(cheering)
Only once did I want to hear the words of black people
today I got on the elevator There was a Jew standing in
I'm very scared.
(laughs)
I didn't even think he stayed in the building.
- I think there's a time Gilbert still enjoys
going up on stage and I think there's another time
that he's just exhausted and he is tired of telling it
the same joke over and over.
- Mickey Mouse on acid.
Oh my God, I'm panicking.
God, I'm panicking! (laugh)
- Uh uphill.
- Yeah.
(cheering)
- now I want to share very old ones
Jewish expression with you. </ P>
I just did anything to avoid my routine actions
which I was very bored. </ P>
Say, I don't like the road You are talking to him.
Come on, you and me must be a tango
And you too.
Please, throw one punch towards me.
Come on, I'll put it arms behind my back
and I'll catch you both.
And he puts the kid in the sand and the child doesn't breathe
so he pumps his chest, lifts his arms up and down
and beat him, no, he's a small child,
he won't do that to him Because his penis isn't that,
he can't hold on
He must beat him he goes like that
And you can't get a strong grip
Wait a minute!
Come back, this one is clean!
Usually I lose the crowd faster than that,
I have to slip.
- Bingo in half an hour. </ P>
You want to play bingo
- I don't know. </ P>
- Come on exercise, want You go to the gym with me?
- Who is this person Jim you keep talking about?
- I'm serious.
You want to get around the track?
- Wait a moment.
(chuckles)
- No, I think - (laughs)
Fuck you
- Maybe I'll take a piece of cake on the way out
- You can't just eat and don't exercise.
- Yes you can, look at other people on the boat
(laugh)
(mellow music)
I will never get this
That's it, that's it.
Yes.
(laughs)
- [Dara] Gilbert and I have been together
almost 20 years now.
I have never met and will not have met
Other people like Gilbert.
I know it looks like Strange, but it works.
We like two puzzles the right piece together.
- You will never believe what I will do this.
This is a comic mind, here.
- [Dara] We are 10 years old the year before we got married
and that is not easy.
- Now I spit on my hair.
- He's so frightened. </ P>
He is afraid if that is so. a quote without traditional quotes
lives like a wife and children
then he won't be who he is.
That will happen like everyone else
And I tell him, we can get married and have children
and it doesn't have to be close to normal
I don't even know what's normal
(laughs)
(clap hands and cheering)
- Gilbert do you want look at this, our marriage?
- Yeah I saw it, I was there
- But you want look at the picture
- I was there
- But do you want look at the picture
- I don't need see the picture
I was there, I experienced it.
- I think it's difficult at the beginning because
he's not too, you know, open it.
I mean you see, he very, he's reserved
Even like his best friend, they talk about films,
they talk about pop culture.
They don't talk about feelings
First celebration, February 3, 2008.
Dara, warmly think about it you and hope this will happen
a celebration happy your birthday
Happiness always, go believe yourself, Gilbert.
(laugh)
I haven't seen this for a long time.
For you on Valentine's Day.
Dara, go fuck yourself 500 times
(laugh)
This comes straight from the heart.
- happy but nervous
He doesn't really talk about it a lot,
he just goes together and goes with it.
He doesn't handle with real moments
I think he avoids, you know, and maybe uses humor
to cover up real emotions.
- When Lily was first born, and I thought maybe when the baby
the first one was born sometimes they all pressed together,
their faces had not developed, and I remember thinking ooh,
that's really a bad baby
That was my first thought.
I thought oh, he was right really bad.
Then in a few days or so I looked at him and said
oh, he was funny, and then more and more, I would think
Wow , she's a very beautiful girl.
And then I think being a father
where I think ooh, maybe it will make me happier </ p >
as a father to be father of an ugly girl
Because you know beautiful girls every man will catch up.
And but I think, but then if you have an ugly girl,
Maybe that ugly girl can try to be friends
by fucking more guys
So You can't win Good way with a girl. </ P>
(laughs)
(funny music)
That's like in Frankenstein Frankenstein's place
meeting a little girl and He throws the daisies
in the water and like that.
(crying)
I think I'm Frankenstein < br /> at that time
(baby language)
- The way he looks at children, oh my God
He is very proud and very happy.
And I said look, look, I means you are very scared
Meanwhile it ends up okay and he likes
like an amazing father
Gilbert, do you pay attention to what he does?
- Yes.
- [Dara] Lily, what are you doing? </ P>
- Drawing
- [Dara] Gilbert does it You have an idea
that this is is he doing?
- My action video?
- No. - No.
One time Max asked him to come
to one of the shows and Dara say to him, oh, yes, no
can't because they no let the kids on daddy's show
and he says lots of bad words.
And Max said, "That what makes it funny! "
(laughs)
(cheering and clapping)
- Before we start Let me say it.
New York is the greatest city in the world
(cheering and clapping)
Yes that's true. </ P>
I'm happy to be here and < br /> I think everyone here
will agree that right about now we can all use it
laugh well
(laugh)
- We bake Hugh Hefner for only a few weeks
after the Twin Towers fell.
a few days ago.
- That was strange Time to do this is big
comedy shows but especially in New York.
People kinda walk around like zombies.
- [Jimmy] One and only Gilbert Gottfried.
- Even doing the roast so as soon as it's in a bad taste.
Someone has to call him out, Someone must be joking.
- That's how my mind works.
I want to basically address elephants in that room
I have to catch it flight to California,
I can't get a direct flight.
They say they have to stop
on the Empire State Building first
(laugh ) (mumbles)
- Someone shouted "too soon" and Gilbert in his book
awkward ways that kind of vamped for the second one to survive
to the podium, hoping it's a time machine
that he can just come back two minutes
But for his credit, he just multiplied.
- Okay, talent agents are sitting in his office. </ P>
A family walks in
What talent agents go what kind of action do you do? </ P >
And he goes, watch.
All they take their clothes die
Dad starts fucking his wife
Sang wife starts jerks from boy
The kid starts going goes down to his sister
Sister starts groping bastard of that dog
(laughs)
Then the child starts blows his father
Do you want me to start at first?
(laugh)
I'll wait until you're ready.
(laugh)
- To please the audience and admiration
from comedians, the way to get out of this big hole
is to dig deeper into the hole by telling The Aristocrats
jokes and what is the basis of him whether I will dig
Until I come on the other side of the earth,
That's the way out of this, and it's amazing to see.
- Now where am I?
Oh yeah, that kid licked
(optimistic percussion music)
- Aristocratic basically, is a dirty joke in the back room.
You know comics hang out in the back room
and that's their joke Say, it's not meant to be
out there in public for public consumption
- Talent agents say, "What do you call yourself?"
and they go, "Aristocratic!"
(laugh)
- I think The Aristocrats sort of cast Gilbert
into the world where blue comedy is considered artistic
- Cloris Leachman is very old that her breasts are labeled
white only and coloring. (laughs)
- This roasted meat becomes very popular
That's what actually brought it to America
Now everyone knows this Gilbert.
- Her breasts are an embarrassing moment in the history of this country.
(laughs)
- What am I thinking about incredible about you,
and I don't even know how do you do this?
You're probably the dirtiest comic I've ever heard
- John Stamos goes into a bar.
Bartenders say we have drinks named for you
John Stamos said, "You have drinks called secret homosexuals?"
(laughs)
- And stays the same Career, Disney doesn't think of anything
hires you for cartoons.
- So Mickey, what's the matter in it for us? </ P>
- Oh no, no other lights. </ P>
- All different your cartoons come in,
isn't that always the same voice?
It's always a bird. - Yeah.
- You mean that snob a piece of cyber garbage </ p >
- Why is that?
Have you ever typecast it as a bird?
- [Gilbert] yes
- Aflac! (shout)
- Is Aflac, just do it for us
- Aflac! - Yes! </ P>
- He likes to do Aflac. </ P>
- I want to return this duck. </ P>
- That Aflac job, this is a dream. </ P>
This is what everyone wants. </ P>
He can get out of bed, < br /> go in a booth, Aflac,
and you get paid a a lot of money
- I'm always afraid of one Aflac day will wake up </ p >
and go we can only get ducks.
(laughs)
Thank God I have it's health insurance.
- really
What health insurance does do you have?
- Elflac! - Good.
- I'm sure this happened to you.
It's like, have you ever liked it, in the middle of the show
gone what fuck am I did now
- all the time - Yeah.
It's like sometimes it will hit me for a while.
I'll go away I stand here, people see me
and I act stupid.
- you know you just want to go home
- [ Gilbert] yes,
- But listen, this is how you choose to make a living. </ P>
- [Gilbert] Yeah. </ P>
- And now You are rather, there is no one can come back again.
- It's like Hyman Roth in the Godfather.
This is the business we have chosen
(laughs)
- Oh, do you mean talking to them normally?
- [Neil] Yeah
- [Gilbert] No, I still feel not comfortable with that
- Yeah.
It's too late for that now.
(soft music)
- Oh wow.
Here's the tweet. He was fired from Aflac.
I think I printed it.
We dropped them off, we deleted them from Twitter
and I think I found they were online
and I printed it only for ownership.
- Japan is really advancing
They don't go to the beach, the beach comes to them.
- No.
I'm talking to me Japanese real estate agent
I said there was a school in that area
He said no now but just wait.
What are Japanese Jews like to eat?
Hebrew national tsunami
I mean it's very cheesy. You know.
He doesn't mean to be wrong,
He doesn't mean to be mean.
- Good night, nation from Japan has suffered
a historic historic earthquake which has caused great
damage, massive loss of life.
- [Reporter] Literally just wiped out
13 feet tsunami swallowed the country. </ P>
- [Reporter] farm land quickly lost, </ p >
the entire main road, the bridge and the house are gone
- [Reporter] Gilbert Gottfried, makes things worse
after a series of offensive about disaster tweets...
- [Reporter] Many offended by tsunami jokes
komedian Gilbert Gottfried tweeted.
- [Man] I think he went too far,
I think they offended. - You did
- Career Gilbert won't survive this
- You don't think so? - Alright I read it,
let me read you-- - I think it's finished </ p >
- Famous comedian no longer sounding
Aflac duck today because -
- Gilbert Gottfried Controversy, he made some beautiful </ p >
jokes that don't taste about tsunamis
And Aflac steps in and says no, not funny, and cans him.
- [Woman ] not right is one thing but I go
when you lose your life, to make a joke like this,
it's inappropriate.
- Here it is but I need you the person watching this
to understand, this is not my joke
- Do you feel you have to read it?
Maybe that -
- Well, I don't think < understand unless you know
I think you need to - - you have to read it
- You have to read it
- I just broke up with my girlfriend
but like the Japanese said there will be one more
floating at any time now.
- Okay that's just one of them , he said it was like...
- [Man] Gilbert, oh no, fired, poor person.
- I remember when it happened I think this good
the whole earth speaks saying that they hate me
and they want me to die, and I remember my agent
said to me, I have ordered it at several clubs in that and so.
And like I always ask and I said how to pay this one? </ p >
And he leaves I don't think you can ask about paying again
I think you just took it.
(musically contemplating)
- You know in my opinion everything has context
and it's too fast, uh, this Your feelings, you know
- In this world I guess everything is too fast now
Like no matter what you say people have comments on it
But I think so too Gilbert he can just wait,
You know, don't lose it from Gilbert's art, but
he might have been waiting.
- In the days gone by when a < br /> comedians stand on stage
You did it and it finished, it's over,
You don't have it to worry about it
And unfortunately the internet has changed all that
- If there is a group of us sitting around the table
and he tells this joke, we Can say oh that's terrible,
but funny - Right
- But you don't tweet them.
- That's a fact it's written I think
is wrong one problem, isn't it? - Right
- But it's good lessons for everyone
Be a little more wise beforehand
You put your tweet out.
You know?
Maybe it's fine.
Be more wise, that's all
- I think because you put it out there public like that
it's almost like you will go to church
or you go to your house mother's house or the like
I think you have to see it like
you're talking to everyone now so there is
a new behavior
Gilbert rather shows like is how does Twitter work?
You can enter such a problem
I don't know
Someone must be first run from the cliff.
- I just feel like being folded.
And I remember everyone like that
and I remember thinking like, God , okay,
I've been a little happy running away and now gone
Of course this is far worse If you have a wife and children. </ p >
- [Dara] He cries.
He feels terrible.
He's innocent, he's innocent means something is wrong
That's very difficult.
- Alright, she feels like she lets the whole family...
But no, she really doesn't think she did something wrong
- is that right
No.
Does it hurt? many people?
Yes.
If you take it literally, if you read the minutes.
But if you know Gilbert and you know what he means,
he thinks I will joke about it
Because it's the only way I can handle it
- What people don't understand about humor
Not that you don't care .
What is that often, This is a defense mechanism
because you don't want to see the pain,
You don't want to feel it hurt or you feel it
and you need to spread it. </ p >
So you make a joke.
- He's not too Filter himself and I think
That's why people are interested in this
politically correct the world we live in
to have a loose cannon running around the world
is refreshing
I mean if someone doesn't say nobody wants.
But why did you hire? he is your spokesman
If you don't know what
- The way he deals with tragedy is through humor.
That's the way dealing with bad things.
When my grandmother passed far away and I was very upset,
I told him that I can't call him, you know,
I used to call him every day and now
he doesn't live and < br /> I can't call him.
He's like you can call him.
He won't answer the phone.
(laughs)
And you know what, it makes me laugh. </ P>
And you know what, it's made I feel it's much better. </ P>
It feels good to laugh.
- I think I've told you this before we haven't seen it
many times but I said you when I left college </ p >
I'm on one of the comedy clubs, and I think
it's Improv but I don't know
And it's 12 o'clock, < br /> You are the last person.
You have talked about it before that you are fine,
let's put it on the end, everything is like that.
You challenge < br /> for viewers
Nobody laughs.
(laughs)
And you keep going and that -
- [ Frank] I remember those days. </ P>
- Quite the funniest thing I've seen ever. </ P>
That's why I can't be a comic. </ P>
That's why I can't do standup.
I'm funny, I'll do it, but if that's the case I'm not pleasing to the audience
it's me and you aren't that
You are against the world.
This is the biggest gift you can have it.
You are just, you are right you are so that's why I think,
That's why I admire you, That's why we are all admired
Lenny Bruce - - Yeah.
- You know it goes back.
- Wow, that's good a compliment, wow
- But it's true, that's true, and that's why I can't do it
dangerous thing
- Now what is there -
- He said wrap it up.
If you don't listen to what I think it's a producer
much less your wife-- (laughs)
- [Frank] He's a producer.
- He said this when you entered
(laughs)
- Wrap it up - Yes!
- Enough, enough with Jews.
(laughs)
(mild jazzy music)
- Oh hi. - Nice to meet you
- How are you?
- I'm great, how about you - Eh.
- Uh, come on, you're good, You're good, I know you're good.
- (laughs) - Thank you for doing this for us
- Oh sure, no problem - Appreciating it very much.
So you know we're not a local children's hospital - Yeah. </ P>
- So we're a child cancer hospital,
we take children from all 50 states and foreign countries
and we will become hospitals where children are sent
- who don't can be treated their children's hospital. - Yeah.
- And we research the hospital so this year
we have to improve about one billion dollars
just to give you sense from what we do here
- Year.
- Yes ma'am.
- I'll see when I'm up there
- I know I know.
- That's easy for you to say.
- I know.
(clapping)
- St. Travel Our Jude started in 2002
when my youngest daughter Jordan was only 15 months old. </ P>
As parents, we pay attention to it some wrong
with Jordan
He is lethargic, sleep more than usual,
and he bruises very easily.
After repeated visits to the pediatrician,
we received a call One night asking us
to take Jordan to the emergency room
- There are several speeches,
that almost makes me feel human.
- After a few hours of testing,
Chief oncologist came to our room,
stood on foot Jordan's bed,
and said I was very sorry, your daughter has cancer
She has leukemia.
I ask the team is there any place on the planet
that we can bring Jordan
to give him a chance to live?
(musically contemplating)
The answer is no.
And his mother asks him questions that aren't do you want to ask
How long?
- Hi.
to come back, this not all of them are back
- Okay thank you. - Good.
- [Nurse] Breath in a big one.
And again.
- It's hard to go go to the clinic there
And my sister is there, they will install any tubes
they put into him and it was difficult to witness all of that
- I was diagnosed in April from & apos; 09
I suffered from stage four breast cancer. </ P>
And that was so, I got very tired and I was very scared. </ P>
- From that time We stepped on the plane
for when we walked to St. campus Judas,
we know us exactly where we should be
We asked Dr. Leung, like Jordan Parents how can we
help throughout this trip? </ P>
He thought for a moment and said, "I want you
"does three things.
" I want you to imagine it Jordan with hair.
"I want you to imagine Jordan flying cancer-free home
"And I want you to imagine Jordan growing up
" with his own family.
"Never forget that.
" I will be careful of cancer. "
- That speech was heartbreaking and
really died for me
This I have no chance to enter this hell becomes anything
but disaster
(cheering and clapping)
Oh thank you.
Thank you thank you... </ p >
- If I'm here alone today I will be in a terrible mood.
He makes me laugh.
("Someone to Watch /> Over Me "instrumental
by George Gershwin)
(laugh)
Then he made fun of me too. </ P>
- [Neil] you do
- Seorang pria pulang kerja.
He's gone dear, honey, I too won the $ 500 million lottery,
started packing!
He left, what should I pack? </ p >
He's gone, I don't care, fair sir and let's get out!
(laughs) (clapping)
A Jewish woman, an Italian woman,
and a Polish woman all...
I remember seeing her face in particular
when I see people laughing and clapping
and I see the man a girl suffering from cancer
and it looks like hers My face is lit and I think
It's a wonderful time
when I'm up there doing dick jokes
(laughs)
A child small entrance when his mother is taking a shower
and he points down, he goes, what is it
He goes oh, um, alright Father and I fight
yesterday and he hit me with an ax
And the little boy went wow, He hit you right in the vagina.
(laughs)
I think they want something to laugh at
Wherever the tragedy is, comedy is looking over his shoulder
sticking out his tongue. </ P>
You know it can feel really poor,
really dirty, which one I specialize
- This must be a gift.
This is a gift to turn away anxiety and doubt live
be something funny, be humorous
(laugh)
- I I've been to this group of and I think the happiest
day for everyone will be when St.'s hospital Jude
is closed because no more business
(cheering and clapping)
Thank you. </ P>
- Yes , I have a stand up applause
Indeed they stand up and go but still,
I get a standing ovation.
So it's still important. </ P>
- [Arlene] There are 11. </ P>
Alright, I'll see you tomorrow I guess
- I think Gilbert enter big scheme of things
I will consider it as comedian convicted comedian
You know every comic likes it.
Have eternal love < br /> him and that is very rare
Comics like to hate them Own but Gilbert I think
escaped all that
Even people like George Burns, people hate George Burns.
People like, oh, who else?
Men with penises big.
- [Neil] Oh, Milton Berle? - Yeah Milton Berle
There are more stories from people who hate Milton Berle </ p >
of anything
I don't think you will ever find a story
about someone who hates Gilbert
and that in this business , it's a unicorn
- always there will be a request
People like to see it, the show is full.
He sell out, he's funny.
- He's brutal, he's cruel, There is nothing better in this
than him
Really, honest.
- A boy comes coming home from school.
He went daddy, daddy, I got my first blowjob today
The father said that Good, how was it?
He left, it felt terrible
(laughs)
- The fact that he is still does it give us all?
something for filming because I think
It seems like you know you can't pull back if Gilbert doesn't.
- Because he has cum in his mouth
(laughs) </ p >
He has semen in his mouth.
Look at him a little boy with cum
Imagine a little child with a sip -
- I think it's already there there is nothing more
true for themselves in what they do and what their beliefs
from Gilbert.
I love it not kowtow to the man.
You know, he is fair do what he does
and he takes everything slings and arrows
along with all prizes and awards
- I really believe the best year for Gilbert
is in front of him, but I'm just looking forward
to keep an eye on their children grow and find out
what their father is like
(chuckles)
- Some of us have < lucky in our lives
to work with someone a romantic that saves our lives
And I don't think that a lot of overload </ p >
to say that Dara saved Gilbert's life.
- The facts he made the work and I can't,
it made me want jump
from damn Chrysler Building.
How did he do it?
Amazing.
But God blessed him.
- Years ago you could I told me so I agreed
to do some comedy clubs, That's when Steven Spielberg
will call me to star in in the next movie
He never did it, but rightly so like I will get an offer
that I can't do then and now with children
I lost a lot of the things I should have gotten.
- I went to the Museum of Natural History.
- Oh yeah yeah yeah
- And I saw the highest dinosaurs in the world
- When I go back to New York we have to go again
I think I want to do it lacking the road but I don't see
that day comes too fast
I mean, I guess you always have to do
You have to dance with the date you brought
(soft music)
This is fantasy I have in my mind
I wish I could bring me mom and dad come back to life
for like a partner from minutes and go fine
I just finished this movie so and so,
I'm on this TV show, here You can see me walking down
every blocks and people will come, they want
their photos taken with me
To be able to bring them back for just a moment
to say it well I have two children
which I named you two.
And I have a wife Who fell in love with me?
You know my parents will be astonished
- Happy birthday, I love you
- That's your problem.
- I love you.
(jazzy music )
- Now I remember Little I used to do.
You know John F. Kennedy died,
he was killed tragically but if John F. Kennedy
lives today and he gets a blow job,
It might happen like this.
You know , Martin Luther King. </ P>
- Oh you want a bigger one? </ P>
- Oh yeah, my whole life
I think I already have two colonoscopy .
He said you could come back in 10 years
and because you know according to this doctor
You can eat lunch from My asshole, that's how clean it is.
- [Dara] it's really disgusting
(laughs)
- Gottfried boy, nine pounds, 23 inches
I wish I was 23 inches now.
Getting?
When you enter me jerk for lunch,
there is a French maitre
who who brought you (laughs)
- Gilbert I will embarrass you for a moment.
I just want to let Brian here know that Gilbert appears
100% free tonight for people like your daughter
- Oh shit!
- Your part must be still straight
- Yeah.
- Tight your ass
(blowing conch)
- Let me tighten my butt
- Almost, tight again!
(laughs)
- Can't make my butt tight enough.
That's how I'm not realistic...
(laughs)
Thank you.
How unrealistic I am...
See other artists waste time getting the pussy
after the show.
Not me.
I wrapped it this donut to go
- Gilbert said himself that he was a homosexual.
- [Arlene] He never...
(laughs)
- And for the back notes to eat at my bastard
just part so I can enter the reference
nobody knows the maitre will be played
(click)
(laughs)