Once upon a time, there was a little girl...
just like any other little girl.
- And like most little girls... - I gotcha.!
she loved collecting beautiful things.
Look at what I have.
Always sharing them with her friends.
Hello.
Come on over and meet my friends, Hoppers.
She would throw the most amazing tea parties for her very closest companions.
Mr. Elephant, have you met my daddy? He's the governor, you know.
And then it happened.
You know that awkward but typical time of life...
- when you feel like every eye is on you... - Mackenzie.!
like you're the main attraction in a three-ring circus.
That's right. She became a teenager.
But eventually, she made it through.
And as she blossomed, she became more comfortable with herself.
- There she is. Hey, Sam. How you doing? - Hi, Dad.
Hi, sweetie. I'd like you to meet...
And like most teenagers, she enjoyed parties...
- and pizza. - Enjoy.
- Thanks. - And like her peers...
she often felt as if her every move was scrutinized.
- Hold it right there. - Big smile, Sam.
Mom, promise me you would never let me leave the house looking like that.
Never! It looks like she found Chelsea Clinton's old crimping iron...
and Amy Carter's Sassoons.
It's like a terrorist got a hold of her.
I don't know what's going on. But what do you think?
What is the worst outfit that you have ever seen Samantha wear?
- I'll bet it's gonna be close. - I bet it is too.
There have been a lot of lousy outfits.
If Mac is back, get in there and clean out your kid's closet.
- But with maturity... - Thank you.
she was able to look outside herself...
and appreciate the wisdom of her elders.
And I'll tell you something. Decades in politics give you...
special life skills, Sam.
Like an excellent poker face.
Not bad, Senator Downer.
Thank you for the tip.
In short...
- she grew up... happily... - Good night.
- with the love of a father... - Good night, Sam.
- and a mother... - See you in the morning, sweetheart.
who she thought were the center of the world...
in an old white house...
they called home.
Lucky Charm's on site.
Something wrong with Sam.
Are you sure? It's an election year, remember?
She could use a little down time.
Starting November 5, she can have all the down time she needs.
Mr. and Mrs. Latif Moratee, President Mackenzie, First Lady...
- Samantha. - Hello.
- Good to meet you. - Nice to meet you, Samantha.
Please.
This way.
We have press conference at 9:00. To Marine One, 9:15.
To Air Force One at 10:00. Travel time, four hours, 59 minutes.
Twenty-five minutes to destination Redmond Univ...
Hold that thought, Liz.
Let's pretend that tomorrow I'm heading off to college.
- Mm-hmm. - I grab my bags, which I packed myself.
I throw them into my adorable collegiate car...
next to my cooler that has a beer hiding underneath the bologna sandwiches.
My parents cry. Their only child is growing up and so forth.
And then I do it.
I drive off like the normal, run-of-the-mill kid that I am.
You're still a princess. You should at least wear a ball gown.
Ignorance is bliss. What can I say?
I say, good night, normal, boring girl.
And you better hide that beer, because under the sandwiches...
that's the first place they'll look.
- Duly noted. - Good night.
Did you take the southern route through the stairwell...
or the northern route through the access hall?
- Eastern route. - Oh!
Two elevators, one moving walkway, turn left at the Lincoln arches.
- It's lesser-known, but very effective. - Mm-hmm.
Eastern route's one of my favorites, actually.
And that Lincoln arches thing is a very nice touch.
You know, if you're gonna eat this cake...
you have to pay the toll.
- Inflation. - Mm-hmm.
You know, you should really do something about that, Dad.
Mm-hmm. Mm, mm, mm, mm.
- Not the dancing. - Dancing.
- Ready? - Ready.
Good.
- I need to say something. - Okay.
About tomorrow.
- I was thinking... - Mm-hmm.
and maybe I should go alone.
- Really? - Yeah. I mean...
it's hard enough to blend in, having a team of Secret Service men carrying my books, then...
Uh-huh.
All I'm saying...
I just wanna be like everybody else.
Sam, you're not like everybody else.
Ready? It's the big finish.
Here it comes.
Yes! Yes.
They won't ask you about policy. They'll probably ask you about...
your expectations, your hopes, your major, and you'll say...
Don't worry, Liz. I'm set. Does anyone have my...
- Got it. - Thank you.
So, you're just like any other American family.
Whose daughter is heading off to college.
Remember, today you're not just the First Lady, but you're also a mom.
I'd like to think I'm both women every day.
In short, you're just a proud dad. Like every other dad...
watching his little girl head off to California for college.
You can segue into your education reform initiative from there.
And time permitting, Mr. President, the California Youth Literacy Program.
- It's not a stump speech. It's about my daughter. - Right.
Mr. President, how do you feel about your only child...
going to school so far away?
Well, uh, I could suggest moving the nation's capitol to California.
Samantha, will you miss D.C?
And better yet, what will you miss least?
Wow. That's a tough one.
Well, I can't tell you what I will miss the least...
but I can tell you what I will miss the most.
That is my friends and my family.
But I am very excited to experience life as a normal kid...
having a normal college experience.
- Thank you. Thank you. We don't have any more time.
Thank you very much.
Whoo! Mr. President!
This is not what I dreamed of.
Oh, we know, honey. Next life.
Oh, God. Please, no "Hail to the Chief."
Game time.
Hi, Sam.
You know, hon, it's not too late to call Georgetown.
Live at home. Free laundry.
Dad, I didn't choose a school 3,000 miles away for nothing.
- Roommate's name? - Mia Thompson.
Parents Janet and Kyle. Divorced.
Both strong supporters in the polls.
I heard that.
Well, that's odd. They were supposed to be here by now.
Once I heard a rumor, Mom, that there are actually some people out there...
that don't live a minute-by-minute schedule.
How do they live?
Roommate's caught in traffic. E.T.A. is 10 minutes.
She should at least get the good bed if she has to live with me.
Did you check that itinerary with Liz?
- For? - Well, there are just a few small functions...
your father and I thought that you might enjoy attending.
Yeah. Uh, do I have a choice?
Sir.
- Oh, yeah. Honey... - Already?
Like you're not chomping at the bit for us to get outta here.
Well, the President and the First Lady, yes.
Mom and Dad? Not so much.
Let's go. You've got a campaign to run.
Three, two, one.
You remember, a full load of laundry dries faster than half a load.
Always take the stairs. Don't sweat the petty things.
Yeah, don't pet the sweaty things either.
And your father will be here all... week campaigning.
- If you need anything, call Liz. - I'll be fine. Thank you.
You'll be great.
Okay, look at me, at a loss for words.
Just tell me you'll miss me, Dad.
So, when the election's over, uh, we'll spend some time together.
A whole day, 24 hours.
In a row?
Promise. Be a good kid.
Hey, Sam.
- Please be mellow. - On one condition.
Could we major in something fun? I'm really hoping we're not premed.
Light on the math.
Zip it, Bock. And, Dylan?
Especially you. Not another word.
Look, if you're gonna be going through my stuff, at least you can help me carry it.
Are you aware there are two huge individuals with stun guns...
sticky hands and no manners flanking our door?
- You must be Mia. - And you're not Linda.
Redhead. Paterson, New Jersey. Plays trombone.
Surprise. I'm Samantha Mac...
You're not as tall in person.
I'm really excited about this year. There's so many things I wanna do.
- No offense, Miss Mackenzie... - Samantha.
Samantha... but I have a plan...
- of college. - That's great.
Look, I'm just trying to have a normal college experience, okay?
- All I want is normal, Mia. - Right.
I'm going to the housing office.
They said you were the kind of girl who was up for anything.
I'm disappointed.
- You're manipulating me. - Yes.
It's kinda working.
Please, Mia. Just give it a shot.
That's all I'm asking.
Well, the situation could have its advantages.
Absolutely. Like, in case of a national emergency...
guess who gets a free seat on the chopper?
I was kind of thinking your Secret Service could get us beer.
- You can forget about that. - We'll work on it.
Mia Thompson, Arkansas royalty.
I didn't know they had royalty in Arkansas.
Course we do. My dad's a king.
I mean, he's had a few queens since my mom, but...
You know, Tire King... best seller of the South?
Cool. This is Bock. Dylan's outside. They're protecting us.
Could that involve tackling me?
'Cause the bald one's a little sexy.
And you can forget about that too.
Yeah.
Look, bonus points for giving me the good bed. I like you already.
But just to let you know, don't kiss my ass.
'Cause I certainly won't be kissing yours.
Mia, I like you already.
It's our first day. I'm trying to have fun.
Why don't you change clothes? We can go hang out. Go to some parties.
Meet some guys. Definitely meet some guys.
My night's scheduled already. I thought I looked okay, no?
Oh, yeah, sure. If you're trying to hang out with the dean.
Miss Mackenzie, I speak for the entire faculty...
when I say, "Welcome to Redmond. '"
And I assure you that you'll be treated just like any student...
just the minute we conclude this elaborate party in your honor.
In the sense they would support preferred policy.
Of course, the fundamental importance of agenda control...
was established by Mckelvey...
irrespective of implications for the final outcome.
In fact, one of his most notable papers showed...
that the one person, one vote...
system of voting...
did not always lead to a middle ground in decision making.
The manipulation of agenda could have a great impact on policy making.
You missed a great party.
- Sorry about that. - Fortunately, I can provide you...
with another normal college experience...
in which the roommate kicks you out in the name of...
higher education.
Can I just get my...
- Come back in two. - Minutes?
Hours.
We'll be following the First Daughter through her entire...
Did you see Samantha Mackenzie arrive at college?
I'm not saying the First Daughter dresses badly...
but today, apparently Goodwill donated some clothes, so I think that...
With guaranteed results.
If you have ring around the toilet...
Illegal motion.
- Take a look at this. - With embroidery on the sleeves.
With embroidery around the neck.
With a front closure.
It's very beautifully done. Soft, all lines.
Look at that embroidery around the shoulder.
And a slight shoulder pad.
And the Mandarin neckline.
This works great with, uh, our tank top.
Taylor to the right. He's got a hole.
He's got a big hole. And he's clear through to the 45-yard line.
- He's still going. He's on his feet... - Samantha Mackenzie?
Greetings, Ms. Mackenzie. The Redmond chapter of Lambda Zeta Phi...
is pleased to invite you to our annual plunge.
It's an invitation-only event.
Bathing suits are mandatory. Bikinis are preferred.
Thanks a lot, guys.
We hope to see you there, Ms. Mackenzie.
Thank you.
How do you look in a bikini, Bock?
Hmm.
"They had already poured the sum total of their knowledge into his waiting vessel;
"and the vessel was not full.
"his intellect was not satisfied, his soul was not at peace...
his heart was not still. '"
Well, uh, ladies and gentlemen, I shall do my best...
to see to it that your intellect is satisfied.
And your soul is at peace.
And your vessel is filled this semester.
For starters, would it be possible to shift your attention to me?
I know I'm not as pretty, but, uh, come on.
- Work with me. - Excuse me, Professor?
- Yes. - I didn't see anything in the syllabus about a vessel.
Uh, excuse me?
I see the books that I'm supposed to buy...
but I don't see any mention about a vessel of any kind.
You said you were gonna fill one?
Right?
I did. I did say that. Thank you.
Thank you for pointing that out. A very literal interpretation.
Thank you very much. Uh, "He had one single goal...
to become empty of thirst'"...
Excuse me?
Excuse me.
I wanted to thank you for rescuing me in there.
It was nothing.
Besides, you don't strike me as the kind of person who needs rescuing.
I'm Samantha. I know I'm taller in person.
Fatter, thinner, fill in the blank. I get that.
Actually, I was gonna say you look exactly like I thought you would.
Bye, Samantha.
- We're moving. - Not bad, Ms. Mackenzie.
You really shouldn't objectify men like that, Mia.
- The boy is fine. - Hi, Samantha.
Nice meeting you too. Hello.
Just to be clear, I've never been a plus-one before.
And it doesn't agree with me.
Thanks for coming, Mia.
I cannot believe how many cute guys there are here.
Last time I was at a party like this, I could only fill out a ruffled bikini.
Focus, Sam. We are at a frat party.
You're right. This is fantastic.
I think I'm blending in too.
Absolutely. Look, is there any way that your fake Men in Black boys...
can back off?
All right, I'm about to show you how to make a real entrance.
Whoo!
¤ Hail to the chief we have chosen for the nation ¤
¤ Hail to the chief we salute him one and all ¤
¤ Hail to the chief as we pledge cooperation ¤
¤ In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call ¤
¤ Hail to the chief we have chosen for the nation ¤
¤ Hail to the chief we salute him one and all ¤
¤ Hail to the chief as we pledge cooperation ¤
¤ In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call ¤
Don't mind me.
Gun! Gun, gun, gun, gun!
You're gonna be all right.
- Take her to the campaign office across town. - Lucky Charm's secure.
- It's just a water gun, man. - Shut up! Don't move.
California Headquarters, Mackenzie for President.
I'm sorry. I'd have more on...
but I wasn't exactly given time to, I don't know, get my stuff.
I guess she likes California.
Look, I gotta go. Wow.
- Don't tell me he's too busy. I need to talk to him. - You look great.
- What's going on, Sam? - He has got too many Secret Service following me around.
- I can't take it anymore. - Sam, it's an election year. Remember that.
Tensions are high. Just take a deep breath and let me handle it. Okay?
Calm down. I'll see if he has a minute.
- Create my own forum. - Mr. President?
- Liz? - Your daughter's asking for reduced security at college.
She's very unhappy, sir.
Um, can this wait?
- Go ahead. - We'll invite the press.
- It's not a good time. - Fine.
Just tell him I'll ditch the whole college thing and become a Hooters girl.
Good benefits, I hear.
- Sir? - Yeah, it's... Liz.
There is a precedent for reduced security.
I recommend cutting back from four agents to two per shift.
Keep detail on the floor, but not stationed at the room.
Sir, she's miserable.
Okay. Be right back.
Man.
I came this close to wearing that exact bikini today.
Dad, if you want your daughter to have any friends, we need to make some changes.
Yeah, well, I don't negotiate with people in swimwear. Come here.
Dad, when Chelsea was at Stanford, her Secret Service backed off.
They blended in. They wore Birkenstocks.
Sam, I want you to listen to me.
A navy blue suit with Birkenstocks is a really bad look.
That was another time.
This is a real different world we live in, Sam.
It is not like I am sleeping around and getting drunk, Dad.
Come on. You were my age once.
All I am asking for is a shred of normalcy.
I can't go out and party like my friends.
No.
No, you can't.
Forget it.
This is the California Headquarters...
Samantha. Samantha.
- You got it. - What?
Go back to school. You're on a new diet... Secret Service lite.
- Thank you. - And have fun.
Just not too much.
We got it from here.
And then there were two.
Finally.
Lunge at me. Hit me. Tackle me. Come on, you know you wanted to.
We could just celebrate. I've narrowed it down to three target areas...
which, if we hit quickly...
Or maybe it's just right under our noses. What's going on there?
Sam, I don't think that's a party.
While Mackenzie's racking up his frequent-flier miles...
Samuels is right here, right now at home.
Health care, education, new jobs.
Just a few of the things Samuels has been working on...
while Mackenzie's out of the office and out of the country.
Taking money out of our pockets again. Next step: Out of office.
Whatever.
Samantha Mackenzie. How good of you to join us.
Hey, ladies and gentlemen...
what do you say to some good old-fashioned bipartisan debate? Huh?
Yeah, come on, Miss Mackenzie.
Get on up there.
What do you say, Samantha? Daddy's not here.
Can we hear what you have to say, or do you only do what Daddy tells you?
Ooh!
All right, there you go. Another Mackenzie running away from the real issues.
- What was that? - Freedom of speech.
They have the right to express their beliefs.
Okay, the freedom goes both ways. Why don't you get to speak your mind?
- Fine. You wanna know what I think? - Yeah.
Well, I think my father's administration...
gives a great deal of attention to his domestic agenda.
- Take his college tuition... - Blah, blah, blah. End of sound bite.
It's kind of hard to get that stuff out of your head, huh?
Well, I know only one thing that can definitely help.
What's that?
I should change. I don't wanna ruin the outfit.
It can only improve it.
Come on, Sam!
- Hey, you okay? - Yes. You?
Yeah.
I'm Sam. Remember?
James.
- Hey, you guys, get outta the way! - You coming or not?
Lambda Zeta Phi!
Watch and learn!
Come on, we're going again.
Wait a minute, James.
Wait up! Hey!
Excuse me, James?
Um, I had a really good time with you on the slide last night.
No. Hey, James, what's your major?
- Hi, James. James? - Sam, come on.
James?
Sam, I'm trying to sleep.
- Hello? - New York Post online.
Oh, no. I can't believe I made the Post!
Mia Thompson, ladies and gentlemen.
Suffice it to say, your father feels like he gave you an inch, and you took a mile.
I know. I-I completely understand. I'm...
Listen to me, Sam. You cannot pull a stunt like this again.
Look, I don't know who you're groveling to...
but the best thing about college is you can hang up.
- Put him on. - Are you crazy? He's on fire.
Look, Liz, I'll just say, "Dad, I love you. This is unfortunate, but"...
- Go ahead. I'm listening. - Hi, Dad.
Listen, I'm really sorry.
What were you thinking, Sam?
I know.
Yes, it's the roommate, Mia.
Just so we're clear, she's the one in the really uncomfortable-looking...
- Thong. - In a thong.
- Correct. - Okay. Put her on.
Mr. President? Mia Thompson here.
Now, with all due respect, although I do think your diplomatic skills are top-notch...
I think you really need some serious parenting advice.
Really? You know what, Mia?
I could not agree with you more.
- What? - It's great to know...
my daughter is living with such a sensible young woman.
You've got that rare thing, Mia. You know what it is? It's character.
Some people have it, some people don't. You have it.
Really? Thanks.
Um, I mean, you too. That whole China thing was real good.
Yeah, I can... I can definitely see how you do what you do.
I will. Bye.
- He's good, isn't he? - Yeah.
Next time, you should be a little easier on him.
Okay. But the difference is he's my president and he's your father.
Not when he's calling from the Oval Office, he's not.
Oval Office, Schmoval Office.
At some point, every father's gotta learn to let go of his little girl.
And every little girl's gotta learn to let go of her father.
How do you do that, Mia?
Vote no. No Mackenzie. Vote no. No Mackenzie.
- Ms. Mackenzie, one question, please! - Back to your room.
How do you feel about the protestors?
Mia.
Oh, please, is she in there?
Mia, I need your help.
You. This is the R.A.'s room.
Good thing I'm the R.A. then.
- What happened to Stewart? - Stewart preferred something a little lower key.
You can find him down at the "C" Wing if you need him.
Sorry to hear that.
So, it seems you need a place to hide out a bit.
Seems I do.
They have to leave sooner or later, right?
When's she coming out?
I have a better idea. Here. Put this on.
There. And this.
Wait here for one minute.
You need a Kleenex?
Oh, no, I'm fine.
Follow my lead.
Hey, Mike, come on.
You gonna leave her in there?
Hey, Sam, stay as long as you want.
Where is she?
- Thank you very much. - You too. Good luck.
- Mmm. - You hate it, huh?
It tastes like freedom.
I should warn you I'm a very slow eater.
- It's terrible on the system to rush. - Yeah, I can see that.
So, there will be plenty of time for discussion.
Starting with the topic of you.
Tell me something I don't know.
- Something you don't know. - Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Brazil's the only country named after a tree.
Bagged lettuce that you buy in the store, they wash it in chlorine.
The little parallelogram above your top lip is called the filtrum.
Five years or half a decade is a lustrum.
Every state in the Union has a town named Springfield.
Male turtles grunt. Female turtles hiss.
Difference between a fruit and a vegetable. Off the vine, fruit ripens, a vegetable rots.
Spread your arms like this, middle finger to middle finger is equivalent to your height.
Distance from your wrist to your elbow is the length of your foot.
- Your ears and nose never stop... - Growing?
Right.
So, I guess we're all living Pinocchios.
And you still haven't told me anything about yourself.
Trust me. I'm not that interesting.
- Ask and see what happens. - Oh.
- Thank you for doing all of this. - Excuse me.
Otherwise my husband will never believe me.
Sure.
Oh, your boyfriend can be in the picture too.
- He's not my boyfriend. - Oh.
You're such a beautiful young lady.
- Thank you. - And I'm so glad...
that you grew out of that awkward stage.
And your bosom came in very nicely.
- Would you like me to take the picture? - No, no. I've got it.
Oh, that's nice. Yes. Thank you.
Really, don't feel obligated to tell me anything about yourself.
Truthfully, one quick call to the F.B.I. or the C.I.A...
and I can get your blood type, third-grade class picture...
and satellite photos of your ex-girlfriend's homes.
I guess you didn't find anything when you were rifling through my stuff earlier.
We'll take it slow. What is your major?
- Actuarial science. - What actually is actuarial science?
Statistics, probability and assessment of risk.
But more importantly, uh, it's what my dad did.
And what his dad did. So, that's what I'm gonna do.
Samantha! That's them over there across the street!
- Come on. - There they go. Come on!
Please, Sam, one shot.
Hey, is that them?
- Let's do it again. - Just catch your breath.
Come on.
He has a place out here too?
The place used to be the gambling casino.
He likes it there because of the memories.
- The old ancestral home, huh? - Oh, no.
Mr. Murdock wasn't born there, but most of his best friends were killed there.
You know the police used to raid it and everything.
Your face.
No, no, you're all right.
The look you get. It's like...
It's like the first time I rode my bike without training wheels.
It's like you're experiencing everything for the first time.
I am.
- Would you like something? - You need to try this.
Will Fats be surprised? He's expecting us.
- I picked you up an hour early. We have lots of time.
- You get the bags. I'll undress. - Thank you.
Enjoy it.
Uh-uh.
- What are you doing? - A chocolate snack must be poured directly over popcorn.
That way you get that delicious salty sweet mixture...
and a little melted chocolate.
Sometimes you gotta break the rules.
You never know when you're gonna get something inspired.
Well, go on, Mackenzie. Break the rules.
If I had the strength...
Well?
It's disgusting.
I love it.
- Favorite board game? - Clue. Yours?
- Poker. - Favorite season?
Congressional recess. Venus or Serena?
Both. It's a trick question. Favorite dessert?
Dinner menu Thursday.
I know I'm not supposed to say this, but back at the White House...
my friend Joe makes the most sensational soufflé.
Although you really haven't tasted a blintz until you've tasted Petrovich's.
Favorite First Daughter joke?
Must be hard.
It's not so bad.
No, really. It must be hard.
Sometimes it really is.
How do you make a tissue dance?
- No idea. - Put a little boogie into it.
Oh, no, come on.
How do I know this wasn't just a one-time thing?
Probably wasn't even a date.
Let's find out.
"James, bonfire...
"Friday night.
"Be there.
Sam."
One, two, three.
Knights!
Go, Redmond!
Go, Redmond Knights!
Go, Redmond! Go, Redmond!
Go, Redmond... Knights!
Redmond's in the house!
Everybody clap your hands. Yeah, Red! Red!
I know you love a good bonfire, Dylan.
Here's a tip. When you're having a conversation with someone...
it's only polite to let them get a word in.
A lot of folks, they wanna know: What's that one special secret...
- for getting a victory? - Still no James?
Who was I kidding? He's not interested.
He was just taking pity on me.
Give the guy a little leeway. Between your dad...
and your portable set of Men in Black action figures...
the boy's taking on a huge job here.
...and that's all you people.
On behalf of the Redmond knights, I wanna thank each and every one of you.
What we do on the field would not be possible...
without what you do off the field.
Are you all right?
Okay, I need backup. I really like this guy.
What happened to all the ones you've been kissing since school started?
When I really like a guy, it means I'm not gonna kiss him.
All right. Long story short, we went to school together...
and I've loved him ever since spandex was in.
I asked him to meet me here tonight, but...
I never thought he would.
Your offensive captain, John Young.
Give it up for big Buck Rich on defense.
Hi, Samantha.
Welcome to Redmond. Nice to meet you.
Excuse me. It's always about you, Sam.
Mia, wait. Where you going?
Supposed to hang out.
Hey, I'll see you later, all right?
So, Mia, did you talk to her about rushing yet?
Not yet.
Hey, did you invite her to our party?
You still wanna invite her after what happened at the last one?
Are we supposed to salute or say the Pledge of Allegiance?
Hands off the roommate's personals. Only I can touch 'em.
Dude, can't believe we're partying in, like, Dorm Room One.
"Hey, Mia, what's she like?" "Get to see her naked?"
"Can we all just stand in line to kiss her ass?"
I'm so sick of all things Samantha.
Does she have a boyfriend? She is so hot.
- Oh, yeah. - I don't believe that's any of your business.
What's going on, Mia?
What's going on is this isn't working out.
It's too hard.
Is it that you don't like living with all the attention, Mia?
- Or that you don't like living without it? - Excuse me?
I think you're used to being the center of things.
As a matter of fact, I am.
Naturally. Normally.
What you got going on is a whole lot of genetic limelight.
I think that you're acting really unreasonably right now.
So why don't we just step outside. Maybe calm down.
No, I'm not counting to 10. I'm not writing up some itinerary.
Right here, right now, let's have this out.
And for once, Sam, say something that you wanna say...
and not what someone wrote for you.
Just be you. Whoever that is.
This from a woman who will kiss anyone with lips...
but saves abstinence for the one person she really cares about?
Well, you know what? At least I can admit I'm messed up.
You're so desperate to make everybody like you, you let people use me to get to you...
and then you act like you don't see what's happening.
You let people use you, regardless of whether I am around, Mia.
You make that choice all of the time...
so don't blame your genetically lit roommate.
And don't draw on my parents.
It's not nice.
Oh, my God.
You really shouldn't sleep in that position.
It's bad for your neck.
I deserve it.
I'm the devil. See?
Oh, you are.
I wouldn't wanna be friends with me either. Mm-mmm.
Reduced security or not.
I just have to face it. My life will never be normal.
And what exactly is so bad about that?
The last time I had privacy I was in utero.
Imagine what it's like to have your whole life picked out for you.
Imagine... never being alone and always feeling lonely.
All I ever wanted was to get my key...
get in a beat-up little Volkswagen, and drive off to college.
You think I'm a silly, spoiled kid, completely devoid of gratitude.
Actually, I think I completely understand what you're going through.
- You do? - This one time, I won the class spelling bee.
I couldn't get from point "A" to point "B" without people watching my every move.
I had to avoid the press, the paparazzi.
And the women. My God, the women, Sam.
The number of training bras that were left in my locker...
could fill the support needs of an entire country.
So, listen, about last night.
You're my R.A. It's forbidden.
I get it.
It's actually not just the R.A. thing.
Oh, the other thing.
Most guys have to deal with meeting the dad.
My dates have to charm the commander-in-chief.
Note to fathers worldwide:
In order to keep your daughters from getting any action...
become the president.
You were hoping to get some action?
You need some air?
I think I could use a little air.
I'll just go get changed.
Come on.
Shh. Shh. Shh.
- I got your shoes. Come on. - Oh, thank you.
My dad used to take me to a spot like this.
He would always say that the world was a tough place...
and you needed total self-reliance to survive it.
He must be proud of you.
Yeah, if he was, he definitely wouldn't say so.
Let's say you do please your father...
and you are completely successful and completely self-reliant...
and you know that he's proud of you.
Then what?
It's tough to imagine, right?
Because then you'd actually have to figure out what you want.
You've thought about this before, huh?
Every day of my life.
Excuse me.
- Let's get back in there. - Come on. You all right?
- How do you do that? - What's that?
When I'm with you, I'm just me... Sam.
I'm not the First Daughter.
I really like it.
You're just...
So are you.
All right then, let's get back in there.
You lead.
You beat me.
- Oh, no, I kicked your butt. - Thanks.
- Usually people let me win. - Sam, you will never have to worry about that with me.
Thank you.
Good.
- Will you show me how you did that? - Mm-hmm. Excuse me.
We'll go one more time. Just hers.
- I like your bracelet. - Thanks.
It's from my dad. It's one charm for every continent...
every country and every election he won.
It's for all of our trips together.
- That's cool. Go ahead. - Huh? Oh.
- Oh. - Ah.
Come on, pitcher. Come on!
For your bracelet.
Just the first of all the trips you're gonna take on your own.
Well, this is my stop.
That's your room.
I like it. It's nice.
Spacious for a double.
That's exactly what I said to Mia.
- Well, I had fun. - I had fun.
All right. Well, I guess I should...
Me too.
Well, thank you for tonight.
Good night, Samantha.
Good night.
James?
- Good night. - Good night.
I know you're mad at me right now, but I kissed him.
Oh, sorry. I'll just...
No, Sam, stay.
Really?
Yeah, really?
I really need to hang out with my roommate tonight.
You should go.
All right.
I know I'm hard to live with.
I know you didn't want to be my roommate.
Come with me.
- Hey. - Hi.
Oh, my God. I can't believe it. It's you! You're here in my room.
Sam, allow me to introduce you to our dorm mate...
Linda, of Paterson, New Jersey.
Plays trombone. My original roommate.
- Nice to meet you. - Oh.
Don't... move!
- Wow. - Yeah, wow, right?
Uh, Linda practices four hours a day.
- In her room. - Oh, four.
Isn't that fantastic?
Bulletproof glass is looking pretty good right now.
Yeah, it's looking great.
Are we good? Are we all set, Liz?
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Mia, I need you to come with me.
I knew you'd change your mind.
Whatever you say.
Anybody up for a study break?
Okay, what's going on?
Sam?
I'm kidnapping you.
Dylan. Mr. Motor Mouth. What's up?
Does he say anything ever?
Come on, Mia.
Please, follow me.
I can't believe I'm on Air Force One. Now, this is a road trip.
Well, you guys have put up with a lot from me...
and I wanted to do something special.
- And who might you be? - This is Charles.
He's here to assist you with anything you may want.
You mean, my every need? My every whim?
Absolutely.
Because I can be whimsical.
- Nice equipment. - Excuse me?
The computers.
- Can you hack into any computer in the world? - Yes.
So that means that, uh, it shouldn't be too hard...
to raise the credit limit on my Neiman's account.
Marjorie is here to help us get ready...
starting with manicures and pedicures.
And then when we land, we'll find something to wear.
- James. - Hi.
Every kind of game imaginable is stacked over here.
It's my dad's own private collection. You can sit down.
I hope this isn't too much.
No. Where we going?
It's a surprise.
This is fine. Thank you.
Can I get you something?
Is this country great or what?
- Hi, Vera. - Hi.
Thank you for doing this on such short notice.
I'm thrilled to do it. Come with me, ladies.
- Just a moment please, ma'am. - James...
I have a feeling you're gonna look great in a tux.
Samantha! Samantha!
- Just one picture, Sam! - Sorry we're late.
- Don't be. - You look lovely.
- Can we get a picture of you, Sam? - Sam, who's your date?
- Who are you wearing? - Samantha, right here.
- Sam, how about a kiss? - Sam.
- Sam, just a second. Over here. Talk to us for just a second. - I was right.
It's beautiful.
Hi.
- Mia and James. - Gotcha. Hey, baby. How are you doin'?
- Good. Hey, Mom. - Beautiful. I'm glad you're here.
Mr. and Mrs. President? Mia Thompson.
- Oh. - The one in the thong?
- Oh. Hey, Mia. How are you doin'? - Hi.
- Mia, would you like a photo? - Oh, yeah.
- Thanks. - Dad, this is James Lamson, my R.A. and my b...
- Mr. President, it's a pleasure to meet you, sir. - Pleasure to meet you, James.
- And my mother. - Mrs. Mackenzie, you're even lovelier in person.
Please, call me Melanie.
Sir, John Armstrong has arrived.
Oh, yeah. Excuse me.
Right this way, sir.
- Mia. - Hi.
- You look lovely tonight. - Thanks.
- We have you seated with some very nice people. - Mmm. Important, I hope.
Sam, can we go talk somewhere?
Sure.
Oh, my goodness. She's beautiful.
- Place your right hand... - What are you doing?
- I'm dancing with you. - No one else is dancing.
And isn't it a shame? Here, on my waist.
- I need a minute alone with you. - And I need your left hand.
- We shouldn't do this. - Why not?
It's a free country. I don't care what he says.
Call out the National Guard.
Nothing is stopping me from dancing with you tonight.
Tonight I am making my own itinerary, and it happens to feel great.
Sam...
- Go away. - Okay. Never mind.
- I'm gonna spin now. - Sam...
We're here to have fun and have a few laughs.
And if I'm lucky, maybe I'll get to dance with my beautiful wife, Melanie.
- What do you think, Mel? - You are so lucky.
Have a good time tonight.
Hey, Sam... Vanuatu really a country?
'Cause this boy told me he's the ambassador.
You are as beautiful as my country.
- Samantha, a few questions, this way. - Sam... Samantha...
What do you feel about your father's domestic policy...
and how does it affect you?
Is your education hurt by it?
I think my father's administration gives a great deal of attention to its...
You know he's a fraud.
Take his college tuition tax exemption initiative.
- Your dad is a fraud. - Yeah, your daddy's a fraud.
Hey, back off, man.
- There are a lot of protesters here. Have you talked to...
- keep going. Stay with the shot.
Emergency motorcade! Lucky Charm on the way!
Stay with me!
- What about Mia? - They'll take care of her.
- Go! Go! - Lucky Charm is at location six.
- Roger that. - We're takin' her home.
Lucky Charm secure.
- You okay? - Don't.
Was there anybody who didn't know except for me?
I feel so humiliated.
Do you know that every day I get...
at least a half a dozen threats against you... every day?
As your father, I couldn't live with myself if something ever happened to you.
As a president...
this country can't afford to have anything happen to you right now.
What could I do, Sam? What choice did I have?
You had the choice to be honest with me.
You had the choice not to lie to me... as my father and as the president.
Oh, man.
Hon, I know you thought he was your friend.
If you want, we can replace him.
Won't he lose his job?
He'll be transferred from First Family detail, but no.
No... Find another position.
But not the right position.
He's in line to work for me.
And, yeah, that's where most agents want to end up.
No. He can stay.
I really hope someday you understand this.
I do.
That is what is so disappointing.
I thought I'd finally found someone who'd like me for me.
So how do you know his feelings for you weren't real?
- He was just doing his job. - That's crap. He wanted you.
Watch. Go back and act like nothing happened.
Better yet, date somebody.
There's nothing a man wants more than something he can't have.
- Hey, there's Samantha. - Hey, Sam.
Hey, Samantha.
- Sam. - James.
I just wanted to thank you.
I crossed a line, and you could have had me fired for that...
and I just wanted to say that I appreciate it.
Hey, Sam.
Sam, I'm really sorry that I had to deceive you.
We're all living Pinocchios, right?
I'm here for my birth control appointment.
- Uh, Miss Mackenzie? - Yes.
- It's not really for me. - Uh-huh.
- I'm trying to make this guy jealous. - Of course.
No. Seriously.
Okay. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie into it.
Okay. I'm beginning to regret the outfit choice.
Who was I kidding? I can't pull this off.
- Is it even working? - You got yourself into this. You're gonna follow through.
- Hey, ladies. Lookin' good. - You're right.
- 'S'up? - Besides, I have a date expecting me.
- What's his name again? - Frank.
Can I speak frankly, Frank?
The life of the college student is really growing on me.
- And furthermore, you're really growing on me. - Thanks.
Bock, from Lamson. She's wasted.
- Is my date a babe or what? - Yeah, I guess so.
We're federal agents. This is illegal.
Be advised, it's my responsibility.
Let's cut the chatter.
We're movin'.
Check it out.
Ah!
Bock, do something. This is too much. Sam, what are you doing?
Whoo!
Ohh!
Put me down, James. I'm not four years old.
Put me down. I can walk.
Yeah. The thing is, you can't.
So why don't you just let me help you, Samantha?
Why should I trust you?
You lied to me. You made me like you.
Why are you a Secret Service agent?
Honestly, right now I'm just tryin' to get through this and do my job.
- Which, by the way, you're making very difficult. - Oh. Really?
Why are you doin' this, Sam? This isn't you.
Whoo! This is me, James...
me without you.
What was that?
I was just sayin' good night.
What is this? Is this some kind of game to you, James?
- No. - You don't have to pretend anymore.
You're an amazing girl.
Would you stop it? Just stop lying to me.
What could I have given you, Sam? I don't have anything to offer you.
You're the president's daughter, for Chrissake.
I've spent...
almost my entire life with people smiling at me...
and laughing at my jokes and telling me how special I am...
and how great I am and how nice and smart.
And right now I don't know if any of that was true.
Maybe it was all some kind of an act. I don't know.
What if I was different? What if I was just like everybody else, James?
How would you feel about me then?
You just don't get it. Things aren't different.
What if they were? I think you owe me at least this.
Forget image.
Forget politics. Forget...
Forget everything else but who I am right now in here.
If things were different.
If things were different...
I'd still follow you around all the time...
because I wanted to, not because I had to.
Good night, Sam.
She's not up yet.
She's not here.
Hello. You have reached Moviefone.
If you know the name of the movie you'd like to watch, stay on the line.
Sorry about all the calls.
Don't worry about it.
You know, you are quite the photogenic young lady. I would kill for your ass.
And Frankie likes it a lot.
Take a number, buddy.
Oh. Hey, Liz.
You have to take this one.
- Hi. - Sam, your father is extremely disappointed.
Is there anything else we need to know?
It was just one night, Liz...
one very... bad night.
I don't wanna know about your night. I wanna know about your boyfriend.
What are you talking about? Just put him on.
- Sir, she wants to talk to you. - I don't wanna talk to her.
- She went too far this time. Send in the media rep. - Yes, sir.
He doesn't want to talk to you, Sam.
He's there right now, isn't he? I can hear him.
- Really, he doesn't. Bye. - I think he's got some good ideas.
Sam.
James.
- Who are you? - I'm Agent Dryer, ma'am.
Mr. Lamson is no longer on this detail.
So, what does it mean?
Anyone?
At the end of the day, the prince is... is what?
- Just a prince. - Go on.
Didn't matter how much he trusted or gave of himself...
or his possessions.
At the end of the day, the prince is and will always be...
just a prince.
He'll always be different.
After Samantha Mackenzie's table dance last night...
- a shroud of embarrassment surrounds the White House today.
Let's go live to Jeff Michael as he tells us more about her alleged affair.
The White House has no comment regarding...
a jealous brawl involving Samantha Mackenzie...
nor do they have anything to say about her alleged relationship...
with one of her Secret Service agents.
Reporting live from Redmond University...
What are you doing here?
Well, the question on my mind, Samantha, is:
What have you been doing here?
Been a three-point drop in the polls...
since your little table dance.
Is it that bad?
You've gotta know that we are in the race of our lives.
We were elected to set an example.
They expect more of us. That's the life we've chosen.
I didn't choose anything, Mom.
And I didn't run for anything. Nobody elected me, remember?
Like it or not, chosen or not...
you are the daughter of the president of the United States.
Your father and I need you. Now, we need to be the First Family.
You want me to leave school?
When President Harding was elected, Florence Harding said...
"Warren, I got you the presidency. Now what are you gonna do with it?"
So, let's get your father the presidency... again...
see what he does with it.
It's his time.
You're asking me to join the campaign?
Mm-mmm. I'm not asking.
Good evening, miss.
I guess you heard, Samantha Mackenzie raising money...
for her dad's reelection one dollar at a time.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen. That's... That's the big story.
Here's the best part. The Secret Service agent...
who knocked out the guy at the bar where Samantha was stripping...
Turns out, that Secret Service agent is her boyfriend.
Ooh!
And with the help of hard workin' people like you, we can win this thing.
Thank you, Motor City!
Mackenzie! Mackenzie!
We're here to discuss your proposed removal as a disciplinary action.
Your record is exceptional, but looking at this report...
I have my doubts about your ability to continue as an agent.
I understand.
So please tell this panel why we should allow you to continue as an agent.
My father was an agent.
- And my grandfather was before... - But they're not the ones under review here. You are.
And if you had a different father or grand- father, you wouldn't have this opportunity.
You know, as a little kid...
I always dreamt about standing on the sidelines of history, protecting others...
maybe even the president himself.
Well, I had the opportunity to protect a pretty remarkable person.
Do you have anything to say to defend your actions?
You trained me to expect the unexpected.
And I tried... not to feel anything. I tried to keep my distance...
but I...
fell deeper... and deeper.
If having those feelings means losing my job...
then that's a loss I am prepared to take.
You and I know that mistakes made in our line of work could mean someone's life.
So I'm sorry.
You'll be on suspension pending your removal...
and you should start to think about other alternatives.
...his humor, his charisma.
Have we confirmed these numbers?
And did she sign for them?
- Well, the only thing... - Well, that's why we chose this venue.
- New Hampshire worked, right? - We're not in New Hampshire anymore.
- Most people want to hear about foreign markets. - Pardon me.
- Hey. How are you doin'? - Good.
You okay?
Sam...
you're unhappy.
I get it. But if you're going to be here, be here.
Because there's a lot at stake...
and I really need you to act like a grown-up right now.
Obviously, I understand there is a lot at stake, Dad.
I have been standing by your side with Mom my entire life.
That's why I came home.
You don't have to tell me how important it is to be with the people you love.
I am here. If you want me to be a grown-up, then you have to allow it.
- What's goin' on with Sam? - Uh...
- What is it? - Well...
remember when she was little and she found that frog...
and we wouldn't let her keep it...
and she got that really stubborn little... unbelievably cute look on her face?
- Yes. - She just made that face again.
Man. Here I am about to go onstage...
she puts her old man in his place.
- Really? - Yeah. Really.
And?
And, uh...
- I dunno. Good for her. - Will someone get the president?
It's time to go, Mr. President. - Ready?
Let's go.
And as for our president, he's gonna do the same thing...
- to this country that she's done to her family... embarrass it.
With all due respect, now that we’ve just taken direct hits...
on the domestic agenda, and it's the last push before the election...
It's too late to change our position. I don't think we should address it.
What do you think, Sam?
- I don't really have an opinion, Dad. - Really?
Are you sure?
Well, I don't know what could be more important than home.
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.
Thanks.
- Mr. President. - Mr. President.
Afternoon, folks.
Thought you might want a snack.
Made it myself.
- Dad. - Okay, I had that cake made myself.
How are you doin'?
- Dad? - Yeah.
I need you to make sure that James is okay.
He's a good agent. I'll see what I can do.
Thank you.
Did you love him?
I loved who I got to be with him.
Even though I didn't do anything amazing, for me it was.
I felt like I... knew myself for the first time.
Love?
That too.
That's what I thought.
And... reelected to a second term...
President John Mackenzie.
- Thank you very much. God bless the U.S.A. - We love you, Mac!
Recently, this... really fine young woman...
pointed out to me the importance of home.
And, uh, for the next four years, this administration...
is going to find its way back there, starting now.
Thank you.
It's your time.
- The next dance is for you and me. - Okay.
What do you think of your father's policies now, Samantha?
I have my own policies to think about.
- It was a nice speech. - Thanks.
Dad, one thing you always taught me...
was to make sure that I'm always at home, no matter what anyone else thinks.
It has to include you.
We all deserve a second chance.
It's okay.
Give me your left hand.
What are you doing?
Dancing with you. On my shoulder.
We shouldn't. We can't.
Try not to lead this time, okay?
I, uh...
believe this is yours.
It'll take you on your next trip.
Even included the cooler.
We did everything to your exact specifications.
- Thank you, James. - Thank you.
Bye, Sam.
Now, go try to break a few rules, huh?
You try to keep some.
- Forget something? - Yeah.
I just forgot my purse.
- Take good care of him. - I will.
Just getting back on duty now.
I'm just getting off duty now.
- I hear she'll be home for spring break. - Hmm?
Just so you know.
- You ready to stand on the sidelines of history?
Yeah. You?
- POTUS moving. - Yeah.
Just make sure you don't fall in love with this one.
Once upon a time, underneath the magic of the night sky...
a brazen little girl grew up in a white house.
- It wasn't until she left that house, however...
that she truly found home.
College-bound till spring, she'll be back when the cherry blossoms bloom again.
With romance in the air, James will be there.
But that's another story.
Yeah.