1
00:00:34,830 --> 00:00:35,850
Did you feel that too?

2
00:00:36,030 --> 00:00:37,730
- What?
- Your stomach.

3
00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:38,960
It's like butterflies.

4
00:00:39,130 --> 00:00:42,500
My mom said when I met
the right girl, I'd feel butterflies.

5
00:00:42,670 --> 00:00:43,690
I think I'm ready.

6
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:47,930
Can you believe him?

7
00:00:48,110 --> 00:00:49,870
He falls so easily.

8
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,440
I'm a little more guarded.

9
00:00:51,650 --> 00:00:55,380
I guess it's because
I've been hurt before.

10
00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:57,980
I'll never hurt you.

11
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:04,960
- My dad.
- My dad.

12
00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:07,850
- You guys are sisters?
- No, Our dads are friends.

13
00:01:08,030 --> 00:01:10,000
They went to the gym together.
They're total muscle-heads.

14
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:13,160
Your best bet is to curl into a ball
until they stop beating you.

15
00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:16,460
I'm only telling you this
because I think I might love you.

16
00:01:22,380 --> 00:01:23,400
What's our play?

17
00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:26,740
I think our best bet is run for the window. I'll get
the car keys you go along. Y formation, dog-leg left.

18
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,750
- On my count ready, break.
- Break.

19
00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:51,830
I think we should probably wait
two days before we call them.

20
00:01:55,140 --> 00:01:57,170
You've gotta be kidding me.

21
00:01:57,350 --> 00:02:00,910
Do you think they have any concept
of how fast a car can go?

22
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,920
Reverse kitty cat, dog-leg left,
over the fence, on my count, break.

23
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,610
- Hey, I'm Nick.
- Shawn. Can we use your pool?

24
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:54,760
Come on, Tigers. Yeah!

25
00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:57,340
Split Johnny left!
Split Johnny left!

26
00:02:57,670 --> 00:03:01,570
Come on! Come on, guys!
Set. Hike.

27
00:03:13,350 --> 00:03:16,790
Yeah! Yeah! All day. All day.
Candy from a baby.

28
00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:19,950
- What do you wanna do?
- That brunette on the third row.

29
00:03:20,130 --> 00:03:22,890
Looks like she wouldn't mind
St. Nick stuffed down her chimney.

30
00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:24,550
No, I mean, the play, in the game.

31
00:03:24,730 --> 00:03:27,290
- Come on, guys, focus.
- I've never been more focused.

32
00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:29,730
Oh Check it out, couple of meatloaves
in that baby tee.

33
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,500
I'm not mad at that belly ring either.

34
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:34,970
Have you seen this blond?
Rackety-rack, don't talk back.

35
00:03:35,140 --> 00:03:36,800
Wonder if her carpet
matches my drapes.

36
00:03:36,980 --> 00:03:38,840
Delay of game, loss of five yards.

37
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,240
And just because
it's a spring scrimmage...

38
00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:43,980
...doesn't mean you can
shit yourselves out here. Now go!

39
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:46,880
- Sorry, coach.
- Go, go, go. Come on, go, go.

40
00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:48,950
Tigers!

41
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,090
<i>Come on, crowd
Let's hear some noise</i>

42
00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:53,450
<i>N-O-I-S-E
Noise</i>

43
00:03:53,630 --> 00:03:55,290
God. See, look, we took too long.

44
00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,660
Here come
the whack-ass cheerleaders, man.

45
00:03:57,830 --> 00:04:01,290
<i>Noise, N-O-I-S-E
Noise</i>

46
00:04:01,470 --> 00:04:02,490
Tigers.

47
00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:13,670
- Well, I am pumped up.
- All right, what's the play?

48
00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:15,980
Hold on a second,
baby tee is signing me her number.

49
00:04:16,150 --> 00:04:19,850
- Is that a seven? A five and a two?
- Any day now, shit buckets.

50
00:04:20,020 --> 00:04:22,920
Guys come on I don't wanna run laps all afternoon.
I have a shrink appointment.

51
00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:25,750
Dude, your cousin stuck his finger
in your ass. Get over it.

52
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,320
Oh man they playing us loose. Let's
get a couple of short passes and give some extra yardage.

53
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:33,230
The hell with that, man.
You either bet big or go home.

54
00:04:33,770 --> 00:04:36,640
- You gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
- Aye aye, my brother.

55
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,670
All right. Pro-zoom trips, deep route,
slant slim boogie on my count. Ready?

56
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:42,330
Break.

57
00:04:42,980 --> 00:04:44,710
54s and Mike, watch that blitz.

58
00:04:45,810 --> 00:04:48,450
Blue 17, set, hut.

59
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,320
Come on, Shawn.

60
00:04:58,690 --> 00:05:00,290
Come on, baby. Yeah!

61
00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:16,470
- Hey, I'm Nick.
- Shawn.

62
00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:24,710
- Hey, Shawn.
- Hey, Maddy.

63
00:05:24,890 --> 00:05:28,010
Thanks for helping me study for the Bio exam.
I'm retarded about reverse osmosis.

64
00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:29,210
No, you're not.

65
00:05:29,420 --> 00:05:31,890
It's just pressure forcing a solvent
through a membrane...

66
00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:35,000
...like when a water balloon
gets too big and then explodes.

67
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:38,790
Got it. Thanks. You're so awesome.

68
00:05:38,970 --> 00:05:40,630
No. Science is awesome.

69
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,870
And you're awesome.
Now, go crush that test.

70
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:46,010
- Thanks.
- High five.

71
00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:48,170
Nick. Hey, Nick.

72
00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:50,310
- Name, name. I need a name.
- Jennifer.

73
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,170
- Jennifer, hi, how are you?
- I'm great. Really great.

74
00:05:53,410 --> 00:05:55,880
- Are you going to the bonfire tonight?
- You know it.

75
00:05:56,050 --> 00:05:57,640
I was just saying my boy Shawn here...

76
00:05:57,820 --> 00:06:00,750
...I cannot wait to go to the bonfire tonight
so I can hang out with...

77
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,380
- Jennifer.
- Jennifer.

78
00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:07,680
- I'll see you tonight.
- Okay, Jennifer.

79
00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:13,120
- It's not that hard a name to remember.
- Come on I went out with her last semester.

80
00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:15,530
After 30 days the name gets erased in my brain
to make room for new ones.

81
00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:19,300
- There's like 3000 kids at this school.
- So why can't you just remember more names?

82
00:06:19,470 --> 00:06:21,310
I don't know how it works bro.
Talk to Tech Support.

83
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,670
- Hey, There are my guys.
- Let's bet how many times...

84
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:26,080
- ... he says "shit. " I say seven.
- No way, 10.

85
00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:27,480
- Hey, coach.
- Hey, coach.

86
00:06:27,650 --> 00:06:29,140
You shitheads think you're the shit?

87
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,440
That you don't need
to pay attention out there?

88
00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:35,060
I'll kick the shit out of you.
You pumped for football camp?

89
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,210
- I guess so.
- Yeah, two weeks without girls.

90
00:06:37,390 --> 00:06:39,950
- Who wouldn't be pumped?
- Don't mess with me, shit-dick.

91
00:06:40,460 --> 00:06:43,090
I am gonna push you like you've
never been pushed before.

92
00:06:43,260 --> 00:06:45,320
Your muscles will ache,
your head will throb.

93
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:47,990
You'll gonna shit blood out of holes
you never knew you had.

94
00:06:48,370 --> 00:06:50,530
But at least we're gonna
be in Daytona Beach.

95
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,770
No. Change it up this year.
Camp's gonna be in El Paso, Texas.

96
00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:56,770
Hotter than your shithole.

97
00:06:56,940 --> 00:06:59,000
We're gonna get
you shits conditioned.

98
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:02,150
Bus leaves Monday
at 0-shit-hundred hours.

99
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,410
- Which is?
- 4:45 a.m.

100
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,020
- Of course.
- The usual.

101
00:07:06,190 --> 00:07:08,950
Skip your morning shit
and get down here.

102
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,220
Ten "shits," you win.
How do you always know?

103
00:07:13,390 --> 00:07:16,190
It's a gift. I'm not proud of it.

104
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,420
Bye.

105
00:07:19,930 --> 00:07:22,060
Maybe I'll see you
sometime this summer.

106
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,840
Don't be obvious.
He knows you like him.

107
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:26,840
You guys coming
to my dad's house after camp this summer?

108
00:07:27,010 --> 00:07:29,170
- Hells, yeah. He gave it to you again?
- Nice.

109
00:07:29,340 --> 00:07:31,330
Yeah, He figures if he lets
me have it one week for a year off...

110
00:07:31,510 --> 00:07:34,140
...I'll forgive him for not being there
when I really need him.

111
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,550
And guess what. He's right.

112
00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:40,550
Did you hear football camp's gonna
be in El Paso, Texas's? How cool is that?

113
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,210
We gonna be sweating, hallucinating,
our skin will be burning.

114
00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:45,860
Like being on shrooms,
but without girls to yell at us.

115
00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:50,660
"Where's the car? Where's the car?
I'm getting scared. Hold my purse. "

116
00:07:52,530 --> 00:07:55,870
- Two weeks, Shawn. Two weeks.
- I know.

117
00:07:56,970 --> 00:07:59,030
Two weeks out of the best
years of our lives.

118
00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:01,610
Two weeks we're never
gonna get back, like, ever.

119
00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:03,140
I know.

120
00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:06,080
So are you guys psyched
for cheer camp or what?

121
00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:07,680
Are you kidding? It's, like, all I think about.

122
00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:10,940
You know how Martin Luther King
had a dream? Well, I do too.

123
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:15,420
To kick ass at cheer camp. And if
that makes me shallow, then fine.

124
00:08:15,590 --> 00:08:19,390
- Call me and Dr. King shallow.
- That doesn't make you shallow Angela.

125
00:08:20,230 --> 00:08:21,490
That makes you real.

126
00:08:22,130 --> 00:08:24,100
We have got to do better
than last year.

127
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:27,960
We could take a dump in our pants
and still do better than last year.

128
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:30,540
- I'm just saying.
- But we're better this year.

129
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,770
And if we work hard,
I think we have a real shot.

130
00:08:33,940 --> 00:08:36,140
I don't know.
There's gonna be 300 girls up there...

131
00:08:36,310 --> 00:08:38,300
...who want it just as much
as we do.

132
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,070
- And who are much better than us.
- Three hundred girls.

133
00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:44,050
Who want it just as much as we do.

134
00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:45,980
And are much better than us.

135
00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:49,720
Tell you what, man,
that'd be the place to be.

136
00:08:49,890 --> 00:08:53,220
Instead of sweating our balls off
in the desert with Coach Shit-Shit.

137
00:08:55,430 --> 00:08:57,560
- So let's go.
- What?

138
00:08:57,730 --> 00:08:59,560
Let's go to cheer camp,
be cheerleaders.

139
00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:01,360
- Cheerleaders?
- Yes.

140
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:03,560
Oh, my God.
Are you coming out to me?

141
00:09:03,740 --> 00:09:05,370
I'm so proud of you, man.

142
00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:07,840
And you know what,
I kind of always knew.

143
00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:10,570
Will you shut up. All right,
I'm too straight to be gay.

144
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,650
I could suck knob
and still be straight.

145
00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:15,080
I could have one in my mouth
and two in each hand...

146
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,650
- ... and still win a straight award.
- All right.

147
00:09:17,820 --> 00:09:20,450
Which is why I wanna go
to cheer camp. Think about this my friend.

148
00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:23,850
Three hundred hotties
we've never been with before.

149
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:26,220
I wonder if they let guys
go to cheer camp.

150
00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:28,590
Name, name. Give me a name.

151
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,630
- Carly. She's the captain.
- Hey, Carly.

152
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:34,360
Yeah, I know, it's the most beautiful
name you've ever heard...

153
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:36,160
...my eyes look like forever...

154
00:09:36,340 --> 00:09:39,470
...and you love every bone in my body,
especially yours.

155
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,540
No, but that's a good one.
Do you mind if I use it?

156
00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:42,940
No, no. No lines.

157
00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:45,040
We just wanted to wish you
goodluck at cheer camp.

158
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:48,480
Sure, you do. I know your game.
No girl left unturned.

159
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,320
- What?
- How dare you?

160
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,040
No. We just see how hard
you ladies cheer out there...

161
00:09:53,220 --> 00:09:55,090
...and we really hope
that you do good.

162
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:59,250
Yeah, do us proud, you know. Beat
the skirts off those 300 other girls.

163
00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:02,450
And guys? Are there guys there?
Do guys go?

164
00:10:02,630 --> 00:10:04,930
- What about guys?
- It's a good question.

165
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,620
There's girls and guys that go.
I don't know if guys-

166
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,740
Yes. The good teams are all co-ed.

167
00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:13,300
That's interesting. I just didn't
know that. I was thinking just pondering.

168
00:10:13,470 --> 00:10:16,770
Carly, come here. We're working on
a new mount Bianca came up with.

169
00:10:16,940 --> 00:10:18,970
- Yeah!
- Coming.

170
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:23,140
I'm gonna walk away backwards,
so you guys don't talk about my ass.

171
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,150
Man, she's got nice lumps.
Either one of us ever hit that?

172
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,980
I don't think so. I think
she respects herself too much.

173
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,280
Right.

174
00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:32,220
Who wants to deal with that drama?

175
00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:35,220
So, what do you think
about cheer camp?

176
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,590
- What do you mean, what do I think?
- Let's go.

177
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:40,630
- First of all we're not cheerleaders.
- Okay first off we're athletes, we can do anything.

178
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,740
Second they don't just let anybody go to the
cheerleader camp. You've gotta be part of a squad.

179
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:45,770
So let's join a squad.
How hard can this be?

180
00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,700
A couple of flips, a pyramid.

181
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,040
<i>Black sheep</i>

182
00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:50,940
Three hundred honeys
on our biscuits.

183
00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:54,080
- I don't know man what about football camp?
- Screw football.

184
00:10:54,250 --> 00:10:57,120
Why are we so started playing football in the first place
was to pull chicks.

185
00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,650
Wait a minute you can't honestly tell me you enjoy
running in blazing hot pads...

186
00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:04,190
...trying to catch a pass two seconds
before some 2000-pound mongoloid...

187
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,590
- ... crashes into your Nutter Butters.
- El Paso, here we come.

188
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,130
Not if it comes to us first!

189
00:11:11,030 --> 00:11:12,520
Oh, shit.

190
00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,130
- I'm on fire.
- Mookie!

191
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:17,330
- Water, water, water.
- I'll put you out.

192
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,940
I'm a hero.

193
00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:21,940
Screw football. Let's go cheer.

194
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,170
Shawny Shawn!

195
00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,740
All we need to do is convince
the squad they need us.

196
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,210
- That's not gonna be easy.
- That's why we go to Poppy.

197
00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:32,380
- I wish there was another way.
- Bu there's not.

198
00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:34,950
- But I wish there was.
- But there's not. We're here.

199
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,590
- I wish we weren't.
- But we are.

200
00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:41,060
Hi, sis.

201
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:43,060
Why am I looking at you? Speak.

202
00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:45,490
Poppy, you're getting so big now.
How old are you?

203
00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:48,230
I'm 60. Can we get past
the small talk?

204
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,960
The only time you and my brother come to see me
is when you need something.

205
00:11:52,140 --> 00:11:53,730
What? Tug mags?

206
00:11:53,910 --> 00:11:55,710
Mike's Hard Lemonade?

207
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,440
- Another ride to the clinic?
- Poppy.

208
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,980
No. We just wanna go to that
cheerleading camp you're going to.

209
00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:07,480
Since you're killing on the JV squad
and so advanced beyond your years...

210
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,320
...we just thought you'd maybe get us
up to speed.

211
00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:11,520
Hey, buddy,
you can piss on my face...

212
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,220
...just don't tell me it's raining.

213
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,000
You guys have been through
every girl at your school...

214
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,220
...and you're looking
for fresh muff.

215
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,930
Some itchy-itchy-nah-nah.
Wall-to-wall carpet.

216
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:24,160
Okay, seriously, how old are you?

217
00:12:24,340 --> 00:12:27,500
Tell you what, I'll teach you
some basic cheerleader moves.

218
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,840
High V's, low V's,
touchdown, baskets.

219
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:32,980
Don't the guys just throw
the girls up and then catch them?

220
00:12:33,150 --> 00:12:36,740
Pretty much. But I'll let you practice
on me and tell you what they're called.

221
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,980
In exchange, I get Shawn's room.

222
00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:40,280
- No.
- Done.

223
00:12:40,450 --> 00:12:41,850
Those are my terms.

224
00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:44,180
- Take them and get out, We'll take them.
- Dude, I've got my own bathroom.

225
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:47,290
Dude, after cheer camp, you won't
even need your own bathroom.

226
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,090
What? What does that even mean?

227
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:51,960
Poppy, you got yourself a deal.
Teach us, we go see Carly.

228
00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:54,070
- Wrong, Gossip Girl.
- What?

229
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,140
Carly's not one of your humpety-hump
football groupies.

230
00:12:57,300 --> 00:13:00,400
She's much too smart to buy that you guys
really wanna be cheerleaders.

231
00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:01,940
Okay, so, what's the play?

232
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:12,580
- Here she comes, here she comes.
- Go, go. Get up there.

233
00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:14,490
Oh, rats.

234
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:17,320
- We got our Frisbee stuck in the tree.
- How are we gonna get it down?

235
00:13:17,490 --> 00:13:19,550
- I mean we go space shuttle.
- That's what I'm thinking.

236
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:20,990
Good idea.

237
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,030
- Ready?
- Okay.

238
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:29,100
<i>One, two, three, four, five, six
Seven, grab, drop, catch</i>

239
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,860
- Great job.
- Go, buddy.

240
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,910
Do they always get
so excited like that?

241
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,640
Oh yeah haven't you ever seen them
do their touchdown dances?

242
00:13:37,810 --> 00:13:41,940
I mean, they flip all over the place.
You'd think they were cheerleaders.

243
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,080
- No.
- You guys really like cheering?

244
00:13:44,250 --> 00:13:46,220
That wasn't cheering,
just goofing around.

245
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,360
But you nailed a perfect backward sponge
and go cradle.

246
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,080
No. We just threw my sister up in the air
to get our Frisbee.

247
00:13:51,260 --> 00:13:53,350
It was either that
or we get three ladders.

248
00:13:53,530 --> 00:13:54,550
Come on, guys.

249
00:13:54,730 --> 00:13:59,170
You love cheering. Don't run from it.
This is a safe place.

250
00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:03,190
I mean we kind of do. It's so much
more athletic than football.

251
00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:06,460
If it were up to us, we'd go
with you ladies to cheer camp on a heartbeat.

252
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,400
But we're football meatheads.

253
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:11,100
We gotta march in lockstep
to what society expects from us.

254
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,870
Don't tell anyone, okay?
Totally ruin our rep.

255
00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:16,040
- Yeah, We'll catch you later.
- Have a good summer.

256
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:18,210
We're gonna go watch
a Bears' game on TV.

257
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,480
<i>Go, Bears</i>

258
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,320
I'm supposed to believe
that the biggest jocks in school...

259
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:37,660
...all along really wanted
to be cheerleaders?

260
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:41,040
Don't get caught up in the lockstep
of society's expectations.

261
00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:43,140
They tossed Poppy
like 20 feet in the air.

262
00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:45,610
Look, Carly,
we don't have any muscle.

263
00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:49,340
If you really wanna do better this year,
they're our only hope.

264
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,780
Unless you guys wanna try steroids,
which I'm totally open to.

265
00:14:53,690 --> 00:14:57,050
- I'm just saying.
- I don't care. I don't trust those guys.

266
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,590
They're not coming. I'm the captain.

267
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,560
Miss Klingerhoff is the coach.
Let's see what she thinks.

268
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:08,030
What a fantastic idea.

269
00:15:08,670 --> 00:15:12,470
It's exactly what this squad needs
to just push it over the top.

270
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,110
But Miss Klingerhoff,
they have never done it before.

271
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:20,240
They don't know any of our cheers,
and, come on, it's Nick and Shawn.

272
00:15:20,410 --> 00:15:22,380
Don't judge a book
by its cover, Carly.

273
00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:26,950
You never really know what a book
is about until you get to page 50.

274
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,990
Fifty?

275
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,790
- I wouldn't guess a page over 40.
- More like 35.

276
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:34,990
My chickens.

277
00:15:36,230 --> 00:15:37,530
You come here, you.

278
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,140
All right. One down, one to go.

279
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:48,500
So what exactly are we gonna say to Coach
Shit-For-Words to get out of football camp?

280
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:51,670
What every kid says to get out
of everything he doesn't wanna do.

281
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,710
So not only do I find out yesterday
I'm adopted...

282
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,880
...the people I've been calling mom and
dad are actually infertile imposters...

283
00:16:00,050 --> 00:16:03,150
...who bought me outside a meth clinic
in cynical for two boxes of Sudafed...

284
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,660
...but I also get
this news dropped on me:

285
00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:08,520
My birth father, Bruce...

286
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,060
...well, he needs a kidney
and I'm the only match.

287
00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:14,330
And apparently Bruce needs it stat.

288
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,470
You need it stat, Bruce? Huh?

289
00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:20,400
Oh maybe I needed a father stat
instead of the stay-at-home dad...

290
00:16:20,570 --> 00:16:23,910
...who showers me with love every
day in my life, this goddamn spermless liar!

291
00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:28,340
So now I gotta be at Kaiser
Permanente tomorrow at 6 a. m.

292
00:16:28,550 --> 00:16:31,950
I know. Bruce couldn't even afford
a real hospital.

293
00:16:32,150 --> 00:16:34,780
Managed care. It's ironic, huh?

294
00:16:35,390 --> 00:16:37,120
Never managed to care for me.

295
00:16:37,290 --> 00:16:39,190
You shitting me?

296
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,450
Are you saying you can't go to camp?

297
00:16:41,630 --> 00:16:43,860
Yeah, but don't make me say it,
coach.

298
00:16:44,030 --> 00:16:48,400
Because it's eating me up inside.
It's eating me up.

299
00:16:50,470 --> 00:16:51,840
Shit!

300
00:16:53,810 --> 00:16:55,040
- Cheer camp! Cheer camp!
- One, two.

301
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,280
- Cheer camp! Cheer camp!
- One, two.

302
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,040
Cheer camp! One, two.

303
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,440
You might have everyone else fooled,
but not me.

304
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:04,180
Well, if being a fool
for cheering is wrong...

305
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,540
...then I don't wanna be right.

306
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,190
You might wanna dial back
your bullshit with her.

307
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:10,650
She seems pretty with-it.

308
00:17:10,820 --> 00:17:13,020
That's a great note. Thanks.

309
00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:19,230
We're so psyched you're here.

310
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,460
- Yeah, us too. Oh, yeah.
- Me too, yeah, yeah.

311
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:22,790
Don't worry about Carly.

312
00:17:22,970 --> 00:17:25,000
- She's just really into cheering.
- No worries.

313
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:27,500
<i>We are driving
We, we are driving</i>

314
00:17:28,010 --> 00:17:31,270
<i>We are driving
We, we are driving</i>

315
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:34,350
<i>We like driving
We, we like driving</i>

316
00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:38,180
<i>We like driving
We, we like driving</i>

317
00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:41,520
<i>- We are eating
- We, we are eating</i>

318
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:45,090
<i>We are driving again
We are driving</i>

319
00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:48,020
<i>We are driving again
We are driving</i>

320
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,260
- How long does this go on for?
- The whole way.

321
00:17:51,430 --> 00:17:55,030
Just wait till their cycles match up.
You'll miss these days.

322
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,100
I can't believe we're gonna miss
Mookie's dad's house.

323
00:17:57,270 --> 00:17:59,870
Oh, buddy, we are not missing
Mookie's dad's house.

324
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,840
Yeah we all.
This thing is three weeks long.

325
00:18:02,010 --> 00:18:06,110
Not for us, it isn't. We hook up
like maniacs, we bail in two.

326
00:18:07,650 --> 00:18:09,620
That's probably gonna piss
some people off.

327
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:11,840
To make an omelet,
you gotta break some eggs.

328
00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:15,320
Grated cheese, slice some mushrooms real thin,
salt, pepper, don't over-beat.

329
00:18:15,490 --> 00:18:17,480
<i>We are driving again
We are driving</i>

330
00:18:18,260 --> 00:18:21,490
<i>We are driving again
We are driving</i>

331
00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:23,790
<i>We are driving again
We are driving</i>

332
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:25,090
Sorry.

333
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:29,220
I should say so, handsy.
At least buy me dinner first.

334
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,930
Very funny.

335
00:18:33,770 --> 00:18:36,370
All right, now you're just
taking advantage of me.

336
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,840
<i>We are here
We, we are here</i>

337
00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:46,480
I think we made a big mistake Shawnsy.

338
00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:48,680
We may have screwed the pooch
on this one.

339
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,990
Or maybe the pooch
is gonna screw us.

340
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,680
Sweet Mary in a D-cup.

341
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,200
I think our bus crashed
and we're in heaven.

342
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,470
No. We would've heard:

343
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:47,340
<i>"We are crashing
We, we are crashing"</i>

344
00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:50,480
Let's go see how warm the water is.

345
00:19:50,650 --> 00:19:53,310
- Hi. Do I know you?
- I don't think so.

346
00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:56,980
Well, I'm Nick. I'm new this year.
Maybe you could show me around.

347
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,560
- Who's this?
- Nick. He's new this year.

348
00:19:59,790 --> 00:20:01,950
This is my buddy Shawn, also new,
also needs showing around.

349
00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:04,560
- If it's not too much trouble.
- Guys you gotta check in.

350
00:20:04,730 --> 00:20:05,820
Okay, coming.

351
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,560
Well It was very nice meeting both of you.
Hope we see you around camp.

352
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:12,170
I'll put a bookmark right between you.
That way we know where we left off.

353
00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:19,070
Hi. What squad are you on?

354
00:20:23,380 --> 00:20:27,150
<i>Diora. I believe that's Italiano
for "beautiful princess. "</i>

355
00:20:27,390 --> 00:20:28,580
- No.
- Well, it should be.

356
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,490
- I'm calling the dictionary people.
- What squad are you on?

357
00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:33,130
The Tigers, Gerald R. Ford High.

358
00:20:33,290 --> 00:20:36,060
Below-average president,
above-average student body.

359
00:20:36,230 --> 00:20:38,430
So, what are you doing later?

360
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,030
Not you.

361
00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:42,360
What about accents?
You like Aussies?

362
00:20:42,540 --> 00:20:43,940
You wanna wear my leather hat?

363
00:20:44,670 --> 00:20:48,470
Mascots, I'll be checking you in
in 10 minutes at the mascot table.

364
00:20:49,310 --> 00:20:52,280
- Why are you still here?
- You like canopy beds?

365
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,840
The last bus from Bitchville
just pulled in.

366
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,820
- Who's that?
- The Panthers.

367
00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:06,050
They always come in first
and they don't let anyone forget it.

368
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:12,530
You guys came back.
I think that's so brave.

369
00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:15,230
I just hope one day
there's a special cheer camp...

370
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,230
...where squads like yours
really have a shot.

371
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,460
- Shut up.
- Truth hurts. Doesn't it.

372
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,130
- Your face is gonna hurt.
- Does your face hurt...

373
00:21:22,310 --> 00:21:25,610
- ... when you stuff it with sheppards pie?
- You wish you had my body image.

374
00:21:25,780 --> 00:21:28,750
I'm healthy. Unlike you, Skeletor.

375
00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:31,150
We're a different team this year,
Gwyneth.

376
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,910
Meet our new squad members.

377
00:21:34,090 --> 00:21:35,380
I'm Nick. This is Shawn.

378
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,080
Hi. Great to meet you.

379
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:41,980
So you got a little sausage
in your soup this year. BFD.

380
00:21:42,530 --> 00:21:45,330
- See you on the cheer field.
- It's that big chunk of grass...

381
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:47,130
...you come in last on, every year.

382
00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:49,100
Panthers out.

383
00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,240
Panthers out?

384
00:21:59,410 --> 00:22:00,970
What are they, a knife gang?

385
00:22:01,180 --> 00:22:03,910
- God, I hate them.
- I think they're kind of cool.

386
00:22:05,220 --> 00:22:06,810
I'm just saying.

387
00:22:16,030 --> 00:22:18,930
Hey. I'm Nick. This is Shawn.

388
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:20,930
I'm Brewster.

389
00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:23,160
Not my real name.

390
00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:24,960
My parents named me Jack.

391
00:22:25,140 --> 00:22:29,630
Jack, so strong, so masculine.
We get it. You wanted a boy.

392
00:22:29,810 --> 00:22:33,580
My name's Jack. I punch bad guys,
and I kiss girls.

393
00:22:33,750 --> 00:22:35,650
- Save it.
- Okay.

394
00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:40,250
<i>Now, just a quick FY informacion,
I'm kind of a neat freak...</i>

395
00:22:40,420 --> 00:22:45,450
...so we'll get along great if you
just keep your area clean.

396
00:22:45,630 --> 00:22:46,750
And by "area," you mean?

397
00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:48,900
- Your bunks.
- Okay.

398
00:22:49,060 --> 00:22:51,430
I can't stand clutter.
That's why we left Calcutta.

399
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,430
Well, that and my dad
took a job with United Airlines. I'll tell you what.

400
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,040
Your jobs aren't just
going over there, sailor.

401
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:01,110
Some of us are coming over here.
The world is flat like a son of a bitch.

402
00:23:01,270 --> 00:23:03,570
You're giving us a lot to process here.

403
00:23:05,150 --> 00:23:07,010
Hey, what's up, guys? I'm Adam.

404
00:23:07,180 --> 00:23:09,440
What's up, man?
Hey, I'm Nick. This is Shawn.

405
00:23:10,420 --> 00:23:11,480
Well, welcome, welcome.

406
00:23:11,650 --> 00:23:14,140
- Is that your girlfriend?
- Yeah.

407
00:23:14,790 --> 00:23:17,450
That's Jody. We've been cheering
together since we were 5.

408
00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:19,890
So you take this seriously?

409
00:23:20,060 --> 00:23:23,500
See I wanna be the first in my family to
go to college on a cheer scholarship.

410
00:23:23,660 --> 00:23:26,030
Good luck, man.
I hope you break the cycle.

411
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:27,360
- Thanks, man.
- Cool.

412
00:23:27,530 --> 00:23:28,560
What's up, Eagle?

413
00:23:29,970 --> 00:23:32,400
Mascots don't talk. They just gesture.

414
00:23:32,570 --> 00:23:35,600
- Even in their bunks?
- The whole time, baby girl.

415
00:23:36,340 --> 00:23:37,710
It's total immersion.

416
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,900
Hey guys. Can someone
help me with my stuff?

417
00:23:40,110 --> 00:23:43,410
I got a huge bag of footballs,
beer, Xbox games.

418
00:23:43,580 --> 00:23:44,910
Let's get this party started.

419
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:47,520
Finally, a kindred spirit.
Alright I'm Nick. This is Shawn.

420
00:23:47,690 --> 00:23:49,710
- I'm Downey.
- What's up? Nice to meet you.

421
00:23:49,890 --> 00:23:53,020
Downey. Downey. All right,
so break it down for us.

422
00:23:53,190 --> 00:23:55,090
How great is this place?

423
00:23:55,260 --> 00:23:57,590
- It's sick, dude.
- Sweet. Right there.

424
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,100
The coaches are amazing. Buddy and your
cheering's gonna be off the charts.

425
00:24:01,270 --> 00:24:04,330
My cheering's gonna be off the charts.
I guess that's a good thing.

426
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:06,770
What about the ladies right?
Tell me about the ladies.

427
00:24:06,940 --> 00:24:09,070
Oh, yeah, totally.

428
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,440
Their cheering gets better too.
They see real progress.

429
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,110
What the...?

430
00:24:18,250 --> 00:24:23,080
Wow, look at them all, dude. In rows.
It's like the hot-chick produce aisle.

431
00:24:23,090 --> 00:24:24,450
I don't know where to start here.

432
00:24:24,620 --> 00:24:27,250
Do we go from tall to short
or blond to redhead?

433
00:24:27,430 --> 00:24:29,450
Maybe just iPod-shuffle mode.

434
00:24:29,630 --> 00:24:32,890
Shawnty this is why I'd never wanna
be president. There's just too many decisions.

435
00:24:33,070 --> 00:24:35,230
Don't worry ghetto,
I don't think that's in the cards.

436
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:39,400
You say that now, but George W.
was a cheerleader at Yale.

437
00:24:39,570 --> 00:24:41,270
I bet he never thought
he'd be president...

438
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,740
...snorting coke through his skull and
bones at a New Haven titty bar.

439
00:24:44,910 --> 00:24:46,570
You just never know, Shawnzy.

440
00:24:46,750 --> 00:24:50,280
And that is what makes America great.
Any idiot can be president.

441
00:24:50,350 --> 00:24:53,320
- Let's hear some noise over here!
- Noise over here!

442
00:24:53,490 --> 00:24:56,010
- Let's hear some noise over here!
- Noise over here!

443
00:24:56,190 --> 00:24:58,590
- Are you fired up?
- We're fired up!

444
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,060
- Are you fired up?
- We're fired up!

445
00:25:01,230 --> 00:25:03,060
- How do you spell "fired up"?
- F-U!

446
00:25:03,230 --> 00:25:04,560
Not really.

447
00:25:04,730 --> 00:25:06,860
- How do you spell "fired up"?
- F-U!

448
00:25:07,030 --> 00:25:08,970
- What's that spell?
- Fired up!

449
00:25:09,170 --> 00:25:10,690
- Not really that way either.
- Nope.

450
00:25:10,870 --> 00:25:14,200
Damn straight. F-U.
You're at university now.

451
00:25:14,370 --> 00:25:16,100
- Fired Up University.
- This is awesome.

452
00:25:16,310 --> 00:25:19,570
Cheer college, my friends. None
of this high school stuff for you.

453
00:25:19,750 --> 00:25:23,580
You got three weeks. We're gonna
take it right to the top to F-U.

454
00:25:23,750 --> 00:25:25,880
- F-U!
- F-U!

455
00:25:28,090 --> 00:25:31,320
Howdy do? My name is Coach Keith.
I'm the skipper of this spirit ship.

456
00:25:31,490 --> 00:25:35,120
As many of you know, I was
the very first male cheerleader ever...

457
00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:37,260
...to compete at the Nationals.

458
00:25:37,430 --> 00:25:39,330
I was born cheering.

459
00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:42,060
My mother swears that
the first thing out of her what's-it...

460
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,970
...was a little pair of baby hands
doing spirit fingers.

461
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,330
That's a joke, but it really happened.

462
00:25:51,410 --> 00:25:53,380
It is now my absolute pleasure...

463
00:25:53,550 --> 00:25:55,610
...to introduce to you
your head counselor...

464
00:25:55,780 --> 00:26:00,220
...and my super-sexy handsome wife,
Diora. Let's bring her out here.

465
00:26:05,490 --> 00:26:07,820
- What? Did he say wife?
- No, he couldn't have.

466
00:26:07,990 --> 00:26:09,020
Welcome, everyone.

467
00:26:09,230 --> 00:26:12,760
For the next three weeks, you'll be training
with me and the help of other coaches...

468
00:26:12,930 --> 00:26:14,730
...and then you compete in a tournament...

469
00:26:14,900 --> 00:26:18,340
...with the top teams going on
to the State Finals.

470
00:26:20,670 --> 00:26:23,840
So that would be the Panthers
and two other teams.

471
00:26:25,850 --> 00:26:28,310
- Oh, me, me, me.
- Yes, ma'am, right here.

472
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:32,040
I heard that there was this really hard
move called the Fountain of Troy...

473
00:26:32,220 --> 00:26:33,980
...that some team did at the Worlds.

474
00:26:34,190 --> 00:26:35,350
Are we gonna learn how to do that?

475
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,490
Sure, I'll teach you
how to do the Fountain of Troy.

476
00:26:39,660 --> 00:26:42,650
Then I'll gonna teach you
to put makeup on a bear!

477
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,860
Absolutely not.

478
00:26:45,030 --> 00:26:48,690
Not only is that move nearly impossible
to execute, it's extremely dangerous.

479
00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:50,670
That move is prohibidado.

480
00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:52,930
- Prohibi-what?
- Prohibidado.

481
00:26:53,110 --> 00:26:57,770
And I say that in Spanish because
that's how exotic and not-allowed it is.

482
00:26:57,940 --> 00:27:00,710
You can't even say "Fountain of Troy"
at this cheer camp.

483
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,280
- Go ahead and say it.
- Fountain of Tr-!

484
00:27:03,450 --> 00:27:06,080
No, Stop it. What are you doing?
This isn't a game.

485
00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:07,840
I'm not playing around up here.

486
00:27:08,020 --> 00:27:09,180
Honey.

487
00:27:10,620 --> 00:27:12,820
It's just a joke.
First week of cheer camp.

488
00:27:13,390 --> 00:27:14,450
Lighten things up.

489
00:27:14,630 --> 00:27:17,120
Have a good time.
Everybody say it, "Fountain of Troy. "

490
00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:20,360
- Fountain of Tr-!
- Oh, my dear Lord! Oh, gosh, shut up!

491
00:27:20,530 --> 00:27:22,360
He's lost his mind.

492
00:27:22,540 --> 00:27:25,370
Stop it! Nobody does the
Fountain of Troy at this cheer camp.

493
00:27:25,540 --> 00:27:28,060
Now, let's all hit the bunks
and get a good night's sleep.

494
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:29,470
Welcome to cheer camp.

495
00:27:41,620 --> 00:27:42,650
Hi.

496
00:27:44,490 --> 00:27:47,520
Dibs, dibs. Dibs on the blond
with the butterfly tattoo.

497
00:27:47,690 --> 00:27:49,820
Dibs on that. I'd like that.
Tell me who it is.

498
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,090
- This is Lanie Brown.
- Lanie Brown.

499
00:27:52,270 --> 00:27:55,500
She likes skiing, hip-hop, and playing
with her cat, Sir Pembleton.

500
00:27:55,670 --> 00:27:58,070
- Sir Pembleton? You serious?
- I know, I'm not kidding.

501
00:27:58,270 --> 00:28:00,500
I'm gonna write her name
in my book in no time.

502
00:28:00,670 --> 00:28:02,570
Can't believe you document
your conquests.

503
00:28:02,740 --> 00:28:05,010
My family owns a payroll company.
Love keeping records.

504
00:28:05,180 --> 00:28:07,170
- It's just weird.
- Tell it to our dog, FICA.

505
00:28:07,350 --> 00:28:08,510
Oh, hey, Carly.

506
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,010
What's up, Tigers?

507
00:28:10,380 --> 00:28:12,010
- Hey.
- Going to take a shower?

508
00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:14,710
Yeah. I had my hand
in some kid's mouth this morning.

509
00:28:14,950 --> 00:28:17,580
Good idea. I know where it's been.

510
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,590
And if I don't get some
flesh-eating virus from that...

511
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,020
...I probably will
after I take a shower barefoot.

512
00:28:23,230 --> 00:28:25,860
- I forgot to pack my flip-flops.
- Sucks! See you later.

513
00:28:26,030 --> 00:28:27,620
Oh, here. Take mine.

514
00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:31,370
- I brought two pair.
- Really?

515
00:28:31,540 --> 00:28:34,100
Yeah. No problem.
We're teammates.

516
00:28:34,670 --> 00:28:35,730
Thanks.

517
00:28:39,110 --> 00:28:41,340
- Bye.
- See you later.

518
00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:46,250
Bro, what did I tell you? No hooking
up with girls from our school.

519
00:28:46,420 --> 00:28:48,550
- I was just being nice.
- I don't care, man.

520
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,050
You know where nice leads.

521
00:28:50,220 --> 00:28:52,320
Do not poop where you eat,
remember?

522
00:28:52,530 --> 00:28:56,660
That's why there are no
restaurants called The Bathroom.

523
00:28:57,260 --> 00:28:59,490
There are bathrooms at restaurants.

524
00:29:00,030 --> 00:29:01,630
I was using a metaphor, Shawn.

525
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,670
It is crazy that people think
that you're the smart one.

526
00:29:06,670 --> 00:29:08,270
What's up, ladies?

527
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:09,700
Hi.

528
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,970
You wanna borrow some flip-flops?
All right, see you later.

529
00:29:17,980 --> 00:29:20,890
Welcome to day one, everybody.
Let's start with a warm-up run.

530
00:29:21,190 --> 00:29:25,280
God, she's such a fox. I guarantee
I'm gonna tap that before we leave.

531
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,920
Dude, she's married,
and like 30 years old.

532
00:29:28,090 --> 00:29:31,220
That's just how I like them:
ancient and regretful.

533
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,520
Yeah. Take it easy on the Dove bars.

534
00:29:33,700 --> 00:29:35,530
- Ready, Shawnzy?
- Sure am, Nicholai.

535
00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:36,790
New guys, move them.

536
00:29:41,010 --> 00:29:43,640
I always knew there was
something else I should be doing.

537
00:29:43,810 --> 00:29:46,300
You know,
like there was something more.

538
00:29:47,250 --> 00:29:49,150
Something more inside me.

539
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:52,380
I guess you could say
I had a cheer waiting to get out.

540
00:29:54,090 --> 00:29:57,080
And now, well, I live to cheer.

541
00:29:58,390 --> 00:30:01,380
And I cheer to live.

542
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,900
I looked that little kitten
in the eyes...

543
00:30:09,070 --> 00:30:10,800
...and I knew I had to take her home.

544
00:30:10,970 --> 00:30:15,370
And now, Sniffles,
that's who I tell my secrets to.

545
00:30:15,540 --> 00:30:17,480
My grandmother was a cheerleader.

546
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,740
It was what she loved most
in the world.

547
00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:25,210
So when she died, I just
picked up the family pom-poms.

548
00:30:25,390 --> 00:30:28,680
This is weird.
I don't usually open up like this.

549
00:30:28,860 --> 00:30:32,520
It's weird.
I don't usually open up like this.

550
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,050
<i>Tigers!</i>

551
00:31:00,690 --> 00:31:02,680
I love every bone in your body.

552
00:31:02,860 --> 00:31:04,950
Especially mine...?

553
00:31:28,550 --> 00:31:29,670
<i>Tigers!</i>

554
00:31:42,930 --> 00:31:46,420
<i>Tigers can't be beat
Get up on your feet</i>

555
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,190
<i>Tigers can't be beat</i>

556
00:31:48,370 --> 00:31:51,240
Is it my imagination, or do they
not completely, totally suck?

557
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,200
It's your imagination.

558
00:31:53,370 --> 00:31:55,240
Now go imagine me
a bottle of water.

559
00:31:56,140 --> 00:31:57,730
<i>Tigers!</i>

560
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,910
The French say a day moon brings
good luck to whoever sees it.

561
00:32:09,090 --> 00:32:11,110
They also say that 8-year-olds
should drink wine.

562
00:32:11,290 --> 00:32:14,920
And if it's a crescent moon,
it'll bring good luck for a week.

563
00:32:15,900 --> 00:32:17,260
What is it now?

564
00:32:17,430 --> 00:32:21,200
I'm jogging with the captain of the best
squad camp, so I'd say it's pretty crescent.

565
00:32:21,370 --> 00:32:23,130
- Race you.
- Cheering isn't a race.

566
00:32:23,300 --> 00:32:26,240
- This isn't football.
- There's a competition at the end. Isn't there?

567
00:32:26,410 --> 00:32:29,570
Yeah, you're right.
On your mark, get set...

568
00:32:29,740 --> 00:32:31,710
Oh, she cheats. I like it.

569
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:33,040
Zucchini?

570
00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:36,780
Leafy greens? Kale? Jicama?

571
00:32:36,980 --> 00:32:38,010
And sprouts?

572
00:32:38,180 --> 00:32:40,520
That's the only thing
that sucks about cheer camp.

573
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,450
The sacrifices
I make for ass.

574
00:32:42,690 --> 00:32:45,620
Remember when I pretended to
be into Nickelback for that senior chick?

575
00:32:45,790 --> 00:32:48,760
- God, they suck.
- So did she. Up top.

576
00:32:48,930 --> 00:32:52,590
Dude, I am not gonna high-five you
for a beejer you got a year ago.

577
00:32:53,030 --> 00:32:54,690
That doesn't count. No.

578
00:32:55,870 --> 00:32:57,230
- Poppy.
- Hi, sis.

579
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,060
Guys looking to go off-menu?

580
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,370
I got Kit Kats, Snickers,
and German sweet tarts.

581
00:33:03,010 --> 00:33:04,940
Wipes out the taste
of every other candy.

582
00:33:07,380 --> 00:33:09,210
I'll take everything you got.

583
00:33:09,550 --> 00:33:12,580
Not here, Shawshank.
The screws are watching.

584
00:33:12,750 --> 00:33:15,590
Put it in the sycamore tree
out back.

585
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,720
- Where's our candy gonna be?
- Check your pockets.

586
00:33:23,300 --> 00:33:26,060
I know. She's got the shine.

587
00:33:31,170 --> 00:33:33,400
Oh, my God, this is so good.

588
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:35,260
Yeah, it is.

589
00:33:37,110 --> 00:33:38,130
Diora!

590
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,240
Diora!

591
00:33:44,580 --> 00:33:45,610
God, it is you.

592
00:33:45,790 --> 00:33:47,790
The way the moonlight
caught your cheek...

593
00:33:47,850 --> 00:33:50,190
...for a second there,
I thought you were an angel.

594
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,350
Nope, just the head
counselor who decides...

595
00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:54,930
...whether or not to make you
run laps all day tomorrow.

596
00:33:56,500 --> 00:33:58,360
God, I love it, huh?

597
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:01,690
A little back and forth, witty repartee,
Hepburn and Tracy.

598
00:34:01,870 --> 00:34:03,860
I'm not 16, kiddo.
Run along and play.

599
00:34:04,100 --> 00:34:06,300
Still with the witty repartee,
that's terrific.

600
00:34:06,470 --> 00:34:09,910
- You win this round, Miss Tracy.
- Hepburn was the girl.

601
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:11,870
Ding, ding. Knockout.

602
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:17,950
It shouldn't be this hard,
she's like 100 years old.

603
00:34:18,350 --> 00:34:21,950
- Shawn. Got a second?
- Yeah. Sure.

604
00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:25,680
Some of the girls have been
talking about you and Nick.

605
00:34:25,860 --> 00:34:27,920
Don't believe anything anyone says.

606
00:34:28,090 --> 00:34:31,500
They've been saying they think this is
the best the team has ever been.

607
00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:33,930
Well, that you can believe.

608
00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:36,830
I just wanted to say thanks.

609
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,330
You guys have been a big help.

610
00:34:40,140 --> 00:34:41,660
Especially you.

611
00:34:43,380 --> 00:34:44,710
Thanks.

612
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,370
It's kind nice to know that when I get tossed,
you're gonna be there to catch me.

613
00:34:48,550 --> 00:34:50,450
I mean, not that Bianca wasn't good.

614
00:34:50,620 --> 00:34:54,350
It's just, I don't know. You feel right.

615
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,650
I like it too.
You're like a home-run ball.

616
00:34:56,820 --> 00:35:00,660
Fifteen-inch brown trout.
A mild cold. Double feature.

617
00:35:00,830 --> 00:35:02,850
I get it. Things that you catch.
Shut up.

618
00:35:03,330 --> 00:35:04,520
I know at the beginning...

619
00:35:04,700 --> 00:35:07,460
...I may have been a little against
you two joining the squad-

620
00:35:07,630 --> 00:35:10,030
I believe you called us
"godless douche-monsters. "

621
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,000
Actually It was "soulless beav-wranglers. "

622
00:35:12,210 --> 00:35:15,000
Well, that's better.
I totally misunderstood you.

623
00:35:15,170 --> 00:35:16,540
I'm trying to apologize here.

624
00:35:16,710 --> 00:35:18,940
No need. And accepted.

625
00:35:22,850 --> 00:35:24,410
Hey.

626
00:35:25,350 --> 00:35:28,880
You'd think as a cheerleader
I would be a little more graceful.

627
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:33,320
I like you clumsy.
It's like I'm looking behind the curtain.

628
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:36,920
Babe.

629
00:35:38,730 --> 00:35:39,790
Rick.

630
00:35:40,970 --> 00:35:42,730
Rick.

631
00:35:44,970 --> 00:35:47,410
- Who's the face-eater?
- Hey guys, come meet my boyfriend.

632
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:52,310
- What is with that car?
- Maybe he just won an LPGA tournament.

633
00:35:59,650 --> 00:36:00,910
I missed you.

634
00:36:01,090 --> 00:36:03,250
Me too. Definitely.

635
00:36:03,420 --> 00:36:05,290
Guys, this is my boyfriend.

636
00:36:05,460 --> 00:36:08,660
- Pre-fiance, actually.
- These are the guys I telling you about.

637
00:36:08,830 --> 00:36:11,630
- Nick and Shawn.
- What's up, guys? I'm Dr. Rick.

638
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,020
Really?

639
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:17,660
Pound?

640
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,900
Aren't you a little young
to be a doctor?

641
00:36:20,070 --> 00:36:22,340
- He's pre-med Illinois.
- Then why call yourself "doctor"?

642
00:36:22,510 --> 00:36:23,940
Why put off the inevitable?

643
00:36:26,010 --> 00:36:27,980
You should get
that mole checked out.

644
00:36:28,180 --> 00:36:31,810
I'd do it myself,
but I don't have my bag on me.

645
00:36:32,650 --> 00:36:34,120
Your book bag?

646
00:36:34,290 --> 00:36:37,550
- How'd you two crazy kids meet, Rick?
- It's a funny story, actually.

647
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:41,660
Our parents knew each other from
way back, and they introduced us.

648
00:36:45,500 --> 00:36:49,460
Not that funny a story. Not really
even a story. Just like a fact.

649
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,960
We've been going out
since I was a sophomore.

650
00:36:52,170 --> 00:36:56,040
We should hit it, Carly. I told the guys
we'd be done dinner in 45.

651
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,510
- The guys are with you?
- It was a long-ass drive, babe.

652
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:02,810
You didn't want me falling asleep
at the wheel, did you?

653
00:37:02,980 --> 00:37:04,540
No, I'm glad you made it.

654
00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:08,020
Yeah, you're glad.
I got a rezzy at Red Lobster.

655
00:37:08,190 --> 00:37:11,250
We've got a booth in the back
behind a plant...

656
00:37:11,420 --> 00:37:14,480
...so no one can see how much
we're all-you-can-eating.

657
00:37:15,030 --> 00:37:17,220
If you know what I'm saying, boys.

658
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:21,000
Okay. Oh, Shawn.
I have something for you.

659
00:37:26,610 --> 00:37:28,400
Very sweet deal you kids
got going on here.

660
00:37:28,570 --> 00:37:30,340
Wish I could hang out,
play all summer.

661
00:37:30,780 --> 00:37:33,710
I'm just a little busy
picking my specialty.

662
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:36,010
Specialty? You're a freshman.

663
00:37:36,180 --> 00:37:38,950
Your specialty should be putting a cow
in the dean's office.

664
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:41,380
<i>Animal House reference. Love it!</i>

665
00:37:44,820 --> 00:37:47,380
My mom sent mine,
so I don't need yours anymore.

666
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,290
- Thanks.
- Sure.

667
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:55,260
And, chief. Next time, if my girl needs
something, she can borrow it from me.

668
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,400
Rick, he was just being nice.

669
00:37:58,570 --> 00:38:01,100
I don't know those feet look pretty small.
What are they like, a seven?

670
00:38:01,270 --> 00:38:02,870
Ten and a half, papo.

671
00:38:03,810 --> 00:38:05,940
Eleven in Crocs.

672
00:38:14,190 --> 00:38:17,310
What's the name of that girl
who was 5'7", blond hair, blue eyes?

673
00:38:17,490 --> 00:38:19,650
She's like a dragon.
Reminds me of Christmas.

674
00:38:20,790 --> 00:38:24,350
It's Carols, Care-holes, Car-
Caroline. Caroline.

675
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,570
I'm running out of ink.
Shawnzy you got a pen?

676
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:28,160
Mopey, I'm talking to you here.

677
00:38:28,330 --> 00:38:31,030
You been sitting out here staring
into space for like two hours.

678
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,970
- It's been five minutes.
- Really? That was five minutes?

679
00:38:34,140 --> 00:38:37,130
Wow guess I really do suck in bed.

680
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,340
Get it? Like I think I'm Sting,
and in all reality...

681
00:38:40,510 --> 00:38:43,950
...I'm like Chad Michael Murray
douching it out in five minutes.

682
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:45,480
- Seriously what's wrong with you?
- Nothing.

683
00:38:45,650 --> 00:38:47,450
- Come on, tell me.
- It's nothing.

684
00:38:47,620 --> 00:38:48,750
- Tell me.
- It's nothing.

685
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:52,120
Tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me...

686
00:38:52,290 --> 00:38:53,620
- Nick.
- Sorry.

687
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,620
- Tell me?
- Carly's boyfriend's a real schwanz.

688
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,360
Dude, you like her. I knew it.
I knew you liked her.

689
00:38:59,530 --> 00:39:01,230
- So what? It's no big deal.
- It's no big deal?

690
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,660
Bro, She's on our squad.
Are you gonna ruin everything?

691
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:07,500
Why you gotta do this, huh? Why you
gotta take a leak all over my dreams?

692
00:39:07,670 --> 00:39:09,770
Why you lay a hot toddy
all over my hopes?

693
00:39:09,940 --> 00:39:12,470
- I think you're being a little dramatic.
- Well, I have never.

694
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,080
What makes this girl so great, bro?

695
00:39:15,250 --> 00:39:18,310
Yeah. What makes this girl
so great, bro?

696
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:20,080
I don't know there's just something about her.

697
00:39:20,250 --> 00:39:22,720
You know when she bumped into me
on the bus?

698
00:39:22,890 --> 00:39:27,760
Or when I saw her reading that book.
That she orders pudding for dessert.

699
00:39:27,930 --> 00:39:30,760
Okay, now you're just listing things
that people do.

700
00:39:30,930 --> 00:39:32,560
No, I'm not.

701
00:39:32,730 --> 00:39:36,030
- Sometimes she writes with a pencil.
- So much worse than I thought.

702
00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:37,800
I mean you're really into this girl.

703
00:39:37,970 --> 00:39:39,300
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.

704
00:39:39,470 --> 00:39:41,500
Why is she with that knob-rocket?

705
00:39:41,670 --> 00:39:44,540
Ok Enough already. You're even
depressing me, and I'm a Virgo.

706
00:39:44,710 --> 00:39:46,870
We have got to cheer you up.

707
00:39:47,380 --> 00:39:49,470
I'm two steps ahead of you, my man.

708
00:39:49,650 --> 00:39:51,880
All right, gentlemen, saddle up.

709
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:55,650
Listen, ladies,
I couldn't help but notice...

710
00:39:55,820 --> 00:39:58,120
...you were practicing your lifts
move on dry ground.

711
00:39:58,290 --> 00:40:00,020
Yeah Well, where else
would we practice?

712
00:40:00,260 --> 00:40:05,160
The pond. That's where the top teams
do. There's more water resistance, better training.

713
00:40:05,330 --> 00:40:07,270
Why do you think octopuses
have skinny arms?

714
00:40:07,430 --> 00:40:08,990
Wait that sounds like a good idea.

715
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:12,030
Yeah but we can't. Our swimsuits are
all the way back at the bunks.

716
00:40:13,010 --> 00:40:16,240
We could just go in our underwear.
I mean, that's all swimsuits are.

717
00:40:16,410 --> 00:40:19,210
It's gonna be dark soon anyway,
so no one would see us.

718
00:40:19,380 --> 00:40:23,110
I never thought about it like that,
but I guess you're right.

719
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,810
Look at that. We're all here
thinking inside the box...

720
00:40:25,990 --> 00:40:28,250
...and you're outside
playing a game of "What If?"

721
00:40:28,420 --> 00:40:31,790
Gorgeous and brilliant.
The triple threat.

722
00:40:32,490 --> 00:40:34,960
And we're off. Gentlemen, ladies.

723
00:40:35,660 --> 00:40:38,560
Adam, you've done enough
working out. Let's go.

724
00:40:42,740 --> 00:40:44,130
Oh, there it is.

725
00:40:48,470 --> 00:40:49,810
I am so excited.

726
00:40:49,980 --> 00:40:52,770
I have not been skinny dipping
since Indian Scouts.

727
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:55,670
Nobody look.

728
00:40:56,580 --> 00:40:58,210
Windmill.

729
00:40:58,380 --> 00:41:01,290
We're leaving our underwear on bro.
We talked about this, remember?

730
00:41:01,450 --> 00:41:03,080
You talked. I listened.

731
00:41:04,260 --> 00:41:08,660
Paint the fence. Cutting the cake.
Hangman's noose. Hangman's noose.

732
00:41:08,830 --> 00:41:10,420
Incoming.

733
00:41:20,140 --> 00:41:25,200
Misjudged the depth.
It's all good. Learn from me.

734
00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:01,110
This feels great.

735
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:03,410
See I told you It's the water resistance.
It helps strengthen.

736
00:42:03,580 --> 00:42:05,680
It's twice the compound,
half the measure...

737
00:42:05,850 --> 00:42:09,690
- ... and if you equivalate that to-
- Nick. Enough of that.

738
00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:12,020
- Enough of what?
- Drop the game.

739
00:42:12,190 --> 00:42:15,650
There are 300 girls at this camp
and only four straight guys.

740
00:42:15,830 --> 00:42:18,820
It's no mystery why you're ripping
through the place. So come on.

741
00:42:22,300 --> 00:42:23,790
Come on.

742
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:26,240
Tick tock.

743
00:42:28,010 --> 00:42:30,170
Oh, all right.

744
00:42:37,180 --> 00:42:38,670
You're next.

745
00:42:40,590 --> 00:42:41,810
Ladies.

746
00:42:49,260 --> 00:42:51,700
- Where are our clothes?
- We left them right here.

747
00:42:51,860 --> 00:42:54,830
I know we left them right here. That's why I'm saying,
"Where are our clothes?"

748
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:58,940
I'm blazing a trail. I'm blazing a trail.

749
00:42:59,100 --> 00:43:00,500
See you guys.

750
00:43:00,670 --> 00:43:02,870
- Okay, have a great Thanksgiving.
- What?

751
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:04,100
I don't know, I'm cold.

752
00:43:07,610 --> 00:43:09,910
- I'm cold and I'm flailing.
- I know, I know.

753
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:11,410
How are you not flailing?

754
00:43:11,580 --> 00:43:13,780
I'm flailing. I too am also flailing.

755
00:43:14,020 --> 00:43:17,080
- So how was she?
- How was who?

756
00:43:17,260 --> 00:43:19,880
- The dirty blond you were making time with.
- I wasn't making time.

757
00:43:20,060 --> 00:43:23,260
We just talked. She's really nice.
Her grandmother's from Cincinnati.

758
00:43:23,500 --> 00:43:25,590
She also helped me on
my crossover basket launches.

759
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:27,860
I can't believe how high
my extensions are getting.

760
00:43:28,030 --> 00:43:30,000
I don't know who you are anymore.

761
00:43:30,740 --> 00:43:32,730
Boys.

762
00:43:32,910 --> 00:43:35,070
What are you think you're doing?
It's way past curfew.

763
00:43:35,240 --> 00:43:36,370
We were just...

764
00:43:38,410 --> 00:43:40,170
Practicing.

765
00:43:41,210 --> 00:43:42,580
- Yeah.
- Al dente?

766
00:43:42,950 --> 00:43:46,410
Yeah. We like to do cheers in the nude
so that they really sink in.

767
00:43:46,590 --> 00:43:49,420
That way our bodies learn it
as well as our minds.

768
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,980
That's very Alvin Ailey of you.
I like it.

769
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,920
- Proceed.
- Proceed with what, running away?

770
00:43:56,100 --> 00:43:57,930
No, with the cheer, you goose.

771
00:43:58,100 --> 00:44:01,430
Don't you wanna wait for
another coach? Or a witness?

772
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:02,760
Five, six, seven, eight.

773
00:44:02,970 --> 00:44:04,160
- Ready?
- Okay.

774
00:44:04,340 --> 00:44:05,630
<i>Hey, Tigers!</i>

775
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:07,140
<i>- Yeah?
- Hey, Tigers!</i>

776
00:44:07,310 --> 00:44:11,000
<i>Yeah? What do we like to eat?
Panther meat</i>

777
00:44:11,180 --> 00:44:12,730
<i>I said, hey, Tigers!</i>

778
00:44:12,910 --> 00:44:14,400
<i>- Yeah?
- Hey, Tigers!</i>

779
00:44:14,580 --> 00:44:18,040
<i>Yeah? What do we like to do?
Defeat</i>

780
00:44:18,550 --> 00:44:20,680
- Dude, your crankshaft.
- Two.

781
00:44:20,990 --> 00:44:23,650
<i>Orange, black and white unite</i>

782
00:44:23,820 --> 00:44:26,310
<i>Tigers, Tigers, fight, fight, fight!</i>

783
00:44:26,490 --> 00:44:28,190
Tailpipe.

784
00:44:30,230 --> 00:44:32,320
Your counts are off,
your spacing is insane...

785
00:44:32,500 --> 00:44:35,160
...and your moves sloppier
than a kiss from a midshipman.

786
00:44:35,370 --> 00:44:38,200
- What?
- Take it from the top. Positions.

787
00:44:38,700 --> 00:44:40,040
Parallel positions!

788
00:44:40,210 --> 00:44:42,040
Five, six, seven, eight.

789
00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:45,440
<i>Go bananas
Go, go bananas</i>

790
00:44:45,610 --> 00:44:49,310
<i>Go bananas
Go, go bananas</i>

791
00:44:52,150 --> 00:44:54,120
You can put me down now.

792
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:55,680
Oh, can I?

793
00:44:56,590 --> 00:44:57,850
You jerk.

794
00:44:58,560 --> 00:44:59,580
Jack-knocker.

795
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:01,390
Oh, look.

796
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:04,290
- What are they doing?
- It's the Fountain of Troy.

797
00:45:04,460 --> 00:45:06,450
I thought that move
was prohibidimabido.

798
00:45:09,330 --> 00:45:11,230
- My face!
- It's okay, it's okay.

799
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:13,530
What'd I tell you about
that Fountain of Troy move?

800
00:45:13,710 --> 00:45:15,330
Look what you did, you broke her face.

801
00:45:15,510 --> 00:45:18,870
Almost in half where am I gonna get another one
of those this late in the day?

802
00:45:18,940 --> 00:45:20,840
Someone call a doctor!

803
00:45:21,010 --> 00:45:22,340
Damn, I wish Rick were here.

804
00:45:22,510 --> 00:45:25,420
Why, so he could ask someone
to call a doctor?

805
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:29,010
Ever been to
a cheerleading competition?

806
00:45:29,190 --> 00:45:31,120
Oh, you mean like a football game?

807
00:45:31,290 --> 00:45:34,260
No, not a game.
Those are like practices for us.

808
00:45:34,430 --> 00:45:36,420
I'm talking about a tournament.

809
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:40,460
ESPN cameras all around. Hundreds
of people in crowds cheering.

810
00:45:40,630 --> 00:45:43,430
Wait.
People cheering cheerleaders?

811
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,060
You should be in the movies.

812
00:45:48,270 --> 00:45:51,540
You're hotter than all of these
cheerleaders rolled together.

813
00:45:52,340 --> 00:45:54,870
Cheerleaders rolled together.

814
00:45:57,420 --> 00:45:58,780
I gotta take a Louis Leakey.

815
00:45:58,950 --> 00:46:02,890
Listen, you, don't get any cuter
while I'm gone. I'm serious.

816
00:46:03,060 --> 00:46:06,290
And let me give you a little tip
from a cheerleader.

817
00:46:06,460 --> 00:46:09,950
<i>Be aggressive
B-E aggressive</i>

818
00:46:11,830 --> 00:46:15,030
Where's that Jesse Bradford boy?
I love him. No, seriously.

819
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:16,930
Seriously. I love him.

820
00:46:20,310 --> 00:46:21,770
I gotta be honest with you, man.

821
00:46:21,940 --> 00:46:24,270
I don't think I'm into
all this hooking up anymore.

822
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:27,110
- It feels wrong.
- Yeah, it's supposed to feel wrong.

823
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:28,870
No, I mean, I feel guilty.

824
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:31,850
I don't know what you're saying.
Milty? Wilty?

825
00:46:32,020 --> 00:46:33,210
Something's not right.

826
00:46:33,390 --> 00:46:36,180
- Tilty?
- I've never felt this way before.

827
00:46:37,020 --> 00:46:38,050
Maquilty?

828
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:44,660
Is that Dr. Rick?

829
00:46:48,030 --> 00:46:49,830
Awesome song.

830
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:54,700
Dude, these local chicks are so easy.
It's like banging fish in a barrel.

831
00:46:54,870 --> 00:46:58,600
That Gina was a freak. I've got
bite marks all over my badonkadonk.

832
00:46:58,980 --> 00:47:01,540
Or was that Aubrey?
Whichever one smells like lavender.

833
00:47:01,710 --> 00:47:03,080
I got that stuff all over me.

834
00:47:03,250 --> 00:47:05,770
One of you smell my rod,
will you?

835
00:47:05,950 --> 00:47:07,540
Jesus. This guy's a dick.

836
00:47:07,720 --> 00:47:10,350
I still don't get why you came up here.
You don't even like Carly.

837
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:12,920
I told you, man.
Our parents are old friends...

838
00:47:13,090 --> 00:47:16,460
...which means they approve of her,
which means they give me anything I want...

839
00:47:16,630 --> 00:47:19,690
...including this sick
3-series Beemer, with nav...

840
00:47:19,870 --> 00:47:21,800
...that drove your fat ass up here.

841
00:47:21,970 --> 00:47:23,300
Rock it.

842
00:47:23,870 --> 00:47:25,700
Why you gotta take a shot
at my weight?

843
00:47:25,870 --> 00:47:27,200
You know I'm working on it.

844
00:47:27,410 --> 00:47:28,460
He's just using her.

845
00:47:28,670 --> 00:47:32,370
And he likes to get bit in
the badonkadonk, that sick bastard.

846
00:47:32,540 --> 00:47:33,570
I gotta tell her.

847
00:47:33,750 --> 00:47:36,980
- Yeah, no, buddy. Don't tell her.
- No, I have to.

848
00:47:37,180 --> 00:47:38,480
No, no, you really don't.

849
00:47:38,650 --> 00:47:39,780
Yeah, I kind of do.

850
00:47:39,950 --> 00:47:43,950
Ok It's pretty obvious right here that you're gonna
go against everything I stand for...

851
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:48,750
...and poop where you eat, so at least
let me help you take that poop, okay?

852
00:47:48,930 --> 00:47:50,900
Trust me, bro, don't tell her.

853
00:47:51,060 --> 00:47:53,760
Why? She needs to find out
what kind of guy he really is.

854
00:47:53,930 --> 00:47:57,830
Alright If you tell her, you'll be the guy who
told her, her boyfriend is cheating on.

855
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:01,230
- Yeah?
- Bro, that's all you're ever gonna be alright.

856
00:48:01,410 --> 00:48:03,840
Best-case scenario,
she looks at you as a girlfriend.

857
00:48:04,010 --> 00:48:07,500
Worst-case scenario, she's pissed
at you for poking in her business.

858
00:48:07,710 --> 00:48:09,840
Either way, you're not poking
in her business.

859
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:11,970
You marinate with that.

860
00:48:15,650 --> 00:48:18,050
- I hear you. That's good advice.
- It is good advice.

861
00:48:18,220 --> 00:48:20,090
- Thanks man I aprreciate that.
- Anytime that's what friends are for.

862
00:48:20,260 --> 00:48:21,420
- Are you good?
- I'm good.

863
00:48:21,630 --> 00:48:22,650
Carly!

864
00:48:23,430 --> 00:48:26,300
Hey, Carly. There's something
I have to tell you. Carly!

865
00:48:27,330 --> 00:48:29,230
Guys I was wondering where you were.
I try to find you.

866
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:32,560
I was looking for you too.
But you go first. What's up?

867
00:48:32,740 --> 00:48:35,370
I was just wondering
about the moon.

868
00:48:35,540 --> 00:48:39,600
I mean, is it still crescent
or a half-moon?

869
00:48:39,780 --> 00:48:41,470
What the French
have to say about it?

870
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:44,140
I'm an idiot.

871
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:48,580
No. No, it's a waxing crescent moon
tonight, and you're not an idiot.

872
00:48:48,750 --> 00:48:51,150
Unless you don't know
what "waxing" means. I can't help you.

873
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,260
I'm a cheerleader,
I know what "waxing" means.

874
00:48:55,460 --> 00:48:57,720
- Carly horse.
- Rick.

875
00:48:57,900 --> 00:49:00,890
- That's what he calls you?
- Yeah. He means it cute.

876
00:49:03,470 --> 00:49:06,670
- What's up, high school?
- You smell like lavender.

877
00:49:07,170 --> 00:49:08,730
Yeah.

878
00:49:08,910 --> 00:49:11,470
We're learning about the effects
of lavender therapy...

879
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:13,410
...on type-two carcinoma patients.

880
00:49:13,580 --> 00:49:18,480
How's that working out? Anyone go
into remission after smelling a flower?

881
00:49:20,990 --> 00:49:22,820
All right, you caught me, man.

882
00:49:24,590 --> 00:49:28,820
- I picked you some flowers, Carly.
- That is so sweet. Where are they?

883
00:49:29,700 --> 00:49:32,360
I made a special wish on them
and threw them into the sky.

884
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:33,860
That is so romantic.

885
00:49:34,030 --> 00:49:37,730
I wish we should hit it, Carlito's Way. I told
the guys I'd be done with dinner in 40.

886
00:49:38,370 --> 00:49:39,890
I'll see you at practice?

887
00:49:40,070 --> 00:49:42,470
Shawn here is a great
leather-basket tosser.

888
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:45,610
Wow! What a great trick.

889
00:49:45,780 --> 00:49:47,240
Not as good as yours.

890
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:49,210
I'll see you tomorrow, Shawn.

891
00:50:05,700 --> 00:50:08,360
- Awesome date.
- I'll see you at the competition?

892
00:50:08,530 --> 00:50:10,190
I wouldn't miss it for the world.

893
00:50:17,710 --> 00:50:18,730
Bye.

894
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:25,810
I like you a lot, Carles Barkley.
You're one of the good ones, babe.

895
00:50:45,900 --> 00:50:48,100
You know what reminds me
of the better times?

896
00:50:48,270 --> 00:50:52,330
Before Carly started hanging out
with those two little suck-buckets.

897
00:50:52,540 --> 00:50:54,030
Something's up with them.

898
00:50:54,210 --> 00:50:56,270
You wanna stay a little longer and do some digging?

899
00:50:56,450 --> 00:50:58,680
Big-time. You know why?

900
00:51:04,690 --> 00:51:09,490
Awesome song. Chumbawamba.
It's the soundtrack to my life, man.

901
00:51:15,630 --> 00:51:18,540
Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

902
00:51:18,700 --> 00:51:20,330
<i>Go, Tigers!</i>

903
00:51:20,540 --> 00:51:23,370
Cradle. One, two.

904
00:51:26,750 --> 00:51:29,040
Great job, guys.
Let's take a little water break.

905
00:51:29,210 --> 00:51:31,680
Are my hips rotating too late
before the final toss?

906
00:51:31,850 --> 00:51:35,010
I wasn't gonna say anything,
but you gotta rotate and then catch.

907
00:51:35,190 --> 00:51:36,950
Rotate, then catch.

908
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:39,920
- We're out of water.
- We need two volunteers to refill the cooler.

909
00:51:40,090 --> 00:51:41,250
- I'll go.
- Me too.

910
00:51:42,890 --> 00:51:44,950
Dude, don't go. Hey, Shawn.

911
00:51:45,730 --> 00:51:46,750
God-

912
00:51:46,930 --> 00:51:49,330
That was really good.
Keep it up, okay?

913
00:51:50,100 --> 00:51:51,570
Hi.

914
00:51:53,310 --> 00:51:55,740
Listen, I don't know
if I've told you this yet...

915
00:51:55,910 --> 00:51:59,240
...but your coaching, I mean,
it's been incredible.

916
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:03,540
And whatever happens between us,
you've made me a better cheerleader.

917
00:52:03,750 --> 00:52:06,650
- And for that, I owe you-
- You have some food in your teeth.

918
00:52:07,620 --> 00:52:11,080
And your pecs are uneven.
Make sure you don't favor one side.

919
00:52:11,660 --> 00:52:12,850
Always coaching.

920
00:52:14,060 --> 00:52:15,460
God bless you!

921
00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:18,920
Why can't I crack this?

922
00:52:19,100 --> 00:52:20,160
Damn it.

923
00:52:20,570 --> 00:52:21,860
So...

924
00:52:22,070 --> 00:52:26,000
...how often did you see Dr. Rick
during the school year?

925
00:52:26,170 --> 00:52:29,630
I don't know why he keeps calling
himself that. It's kind of douchey.

926
00:52:29,810 --> 00:52:32,140
Oh, no, no, no. It's super cool.

927
00:52:33,010 --> 00:52:35,140
I can't believe he's my pre-fiance.

928
00:52:35,310 --> 00:52:37,440
I remember when I was 7,
I decided...

929
00:52:37,620 --> 00:52:40,640
...that I was not gonna get married
until I was 34.

930
00:52:40,820 --> 00:52:44,980
- That's very specific.
- Oh, I had it all thought out.

931
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:47,520
High school, college,
a year abroad in Greece...

932
00:52:47,690 --> 00:52:50,720
...and because, don't laugh,
I always loved Greek salad.

933
00:52:50,900 --> 00:52:54,830
Tomatoes, cucumbers, feta.
No, that makes perfect sense.

934
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:56,230
I know. It's silly.

935
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,230
No it's not I love that you had it
all planned out.

936
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:01,700
- You know what John Lennon said.
- Not really. I'm not in my 50s.

937
00:53:01,870 --> 00:53:02,970
I could ask my dad.

938
00:53:03,140 --> 00:53:05,840
"Life is what happens when
you're busy making other plans. "

939
00:53:06,210 --> 00:53:07,580
Yeah.

940
00:53:15,890 --> 00:53:17,720
Damn, this is heavy.

941
00:53:17,890 --> 00:53:20,220
Are you okay? You look hot.
Do you want some water?

942
00:53:20,390 --> 00:53:21,860
- Yeah, sure. Thanks.
- Here.

943
00:53:25,900 --> 00:53:28,760
Did you say I looked hot?
I'm pretty sure that's what I heard.

944
00:53:28,930 --> 00:53:31,630
- You know I heard you screaming like a little girl.
- Oh, really?

945
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:34,000
Oh, my God. Don't move.
There's a bee on you.

946
00:53:34,170 --> 00:53:36,940
What? No. Get it off.

947
00:53:38,510 --> 00:53:39,940
You little bitch!

948
00:53:42,780 --> 00:53:45,080
All right, week three of cheer camp,
here we come.

949
00:53:45,250 --> 00:53:47,240
I love the smell of pom-pom
in the morning.

950
00:53:47,420 --> 00:53:48,890
Let's do this.

951
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:52,150
- Where you going bro?
- Post-breakfast on practice.

952
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:55,780
And then, you know, Carly and I are gonna work on reverse 
cartwheels. I'm having trouble with my rotations.

953
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:59,620
My left foot keeps hitching when
I do my inverse swing-over. It's like:

954
00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:02,200
Take it easy American girl.
We're done with this, all right?

955
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:03,920
Week three. Time of week, Hit it and quit it.

956
00:54:04,100 --> 00:54:06,800
Oh, no, we gotta-
We gotta stay longer.

957
00:54:06,970 --> 00:54:09,700
Dude, it's time to go.
Remember Mookie's dad's house?

958
00:54:09,870 --> 00:54:11,270
The plasmas and the Jacuzzis.

959
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:14,540
Yeah, but I just- I think
we should stay just a touch longer.

960
00:54:14,710 --> 00:54:16,680
I'm done. All right?
I've had enough girl.

961
00:54:16,850 --> 00:54:19,540
Bottomless breadsticks only keep you
at the Olive Garden for so long.

962
00:54:19,720 --> 00:54:21,050
Till, at some point you look up, you say:

963
00:54:21,250 --> 00:54:23,550
"Why the hell am I at Olive Garden
with these fat people?"

964
00:54:23,720 --> 00:54:25,350
- What? No...
- Let's go.

965
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:28,250
- Let's talk about this for minute.
- All right, let's go. Let's pack.

966
00:54:28,460 --> 00:54:30,160
Hear me out, Let's just dialogue for a second.

967
00:54:30,330 --> 00:54:32,760
- We don't have to go right now.
- Yeah, we do.

968
00:54:32,930 --> 00:54:35,590
Because the bus leaves in an hour.
Next one's not until tomorrow.

969
00:54:35,770 --> 00:54:38,260
Yeah, but come on, man.
What about our squad?

970
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:40,330
You know,
the competition's coming up.

971
00:54:40,410 --> 00:54:43,140
Dude, the squad? The competition?
Listen to yourself.

972
00:54:43,310 --> 00:54:45,570
We had a deal. Two weeks. Right?

973
00:54:45,740 --> 00:54:48,180
Kiss, kiss, bang, bang,
sayonara, cheer camp.

974
00:54:48,350 --> 00:54:50,340
<i>We are leaving
We, we are leaving</i>

975
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:51,570
<i>We are leaving</i>

976
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:53,510
Now, come on, dude, start packing.

977
00:54:53,690 --> 00:54:56,680
I need a little bit more time with Carly.
There. I said it. Okay?

978
00:54:56,860 --> 00:54:59,520
I know you think that's lame,
but please can you give me one day?

979
00:54:59,690 --> 00:55:02,160
That's not lame, bro. That's gay.

980
00:55:02,330 --> 00:55:05,820
Well, technically, pursuing a woman
you have heterosexual feelings for...

981
00:55:06,030 --> 00:55:07,500
...that's not gay, Nick.

982
00:55:07,670 --> 00:55:10,790
But using a rotating inverse
swing-over to do it? Yeah, that is.

983
00:55:10,970 --> 00:55:14,770
Shawn. Don't forget we're gonna
go over our reverse cartwheels after practice.

984
00:55:14,940 --> 00:55:17,370
- Okay, I'll be right there.
- See you there.

985
00:55:17,540 --> 00:55:19,100
All right. Right behind him.

986
00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:22,270
All right, come on, man, let's go.
You know the deal.

987
00:55:22,780 --> 00:55:25,110
And trust me,
you're gonna thank me for this.

988
00:55:26,150 --> 00:55:28,980
All right, let's go, Shawnzy.
And no more moping. All right?

989
00:55:29,150 --> 00:55:31,710
Not an attractive color on you,
nor is orange and gray.

990
00:55:31,890 --> 00:55:33,550
Takes away from your eyes.

991
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:45,530
Damn it, damn it, damn it...

992
00:55:51,340 --> 00:55:52,400
What are you doing?

993
00:55:52,580 --> 00:55:55,010
Well, probably making
the biggest mistake of my life.

994
00:55:55,180 --> 00:55:57,310
Except that year
I wore that leather wristband.

995
00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:00,850
How did I possibly think that's cool,
you know? I'm not a blacksmith.

996
00:56:01,020 --> 00:56:02,650
That was a little Nickelback-y.

997
00:56:02,820 --> 00:56:05,150
You like this girl, you wanna stay
you're my boy, we stay.

998
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:07,050
Well, what about Mookie's house?

999
00:56:07,230 --> 00:56:08,820
Are you coming or not?

1000
00:56:09,890 --> 00:56:12,390
Are you sure we are staying?
We, we are staying?

1001
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:15,260
No, I'm not sure,
so don't turn a yes into a no.

1002
00:56:15,430 --> 00:56:17,490
Thank you, Nick.
Thank you so much, man.

1003
00:56:17,670 --> 00:56:19,660
I know you don't like
man-to-man touching...

1004
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:23,370
...but my arm is on your shoulder.
Here comes my arm right now.

1005
00:56:23,540 --> 00:56:25,510
<i>- Another day
- Another holler</i>

1006
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:29,910
You're wasting my precious breath.
I can't hear you.

1007
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:32,170
<i>- Another day
- Another holler</i>

1008
00:56:32,350 --> 00:56:34,320
<i>- Another day
- Another holler</i>

1009
00:56:34,490 --> 00:56:35,510
<i>Another day</i>

1010
00:56:36,490 --> 00:56:38,080
Hey, bro, got a second?

1011
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:40,760
Wrong section of the woods fella.

1012
00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:43,450
You want the northeast corner
near the redwoods.

1013
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:47,160
What? I wanna know if you know
two dudes named Nick and Shawn.

1014
00:56:47,830 --> 00:56:50,560
Yeah. They're my bunkmates. Why?

1015
00:56:51,940 --> 00:56:56,800
Five, six, seven, eight. One, two,
three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

1016
00:56:58,710 --> 00:57:00,230
- Angela, no.
- Are you okay?

1017
00:57:00,410 --> 00:57:03,110
Easy, Tiger. Easy, Tiger.

1018
00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:08,410
- I'm fine. I'm fine, I'm fine.
- You all right?

1019
00:57:08,590 --> 00:57:09,710
I'm okay.

1020
00:57:11,620 --> 00:57:13,780
Sorry, guys, I just suck.

1021
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:17,550
- It's not just you. We all kind of suck.
- We're not good at all.

1022
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:21,390
- Hey, stop. Stop talking like that.
- But it's true.

1023
00:57:21,570 --> 00:57:23,160
We're just not that good.

1024
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:25,130
Stop.

1025
00:57:25,300 --> 00:57:28,400
Enough of that.
You can go as far as you want.

1026
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:31,330
What do the Panthers have
that you don't have?

1027
00:57:31,510 --> 00:57:32,700
- Skills.
- Athleticism.

1028
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:34,400
- Kickass cheers.
- Laser hair removal.

1029
00:57:34,580 --> 00:57:37,070
Big-ass titties. I'm just saying.

1030
00:57:37,250 --> 00:57:40,080
Confidence.
They're cocky assholes.

1031
00:57:40,250 --> 00:57:43,740
Like Nick, he's the cockiest asshole on the
football field. That's why he's so good.

1032
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:46,150
- I'm awesome.
- Because he believes in himself.

1033
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:47,480
Also because I'm awesome.

1034
00:57:47,660 --> 00:57:50,790
He knows he's gonna be good,
so he's good. And he takes chances.

1035
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:52,660
Not hard to the fact that I'm awesome.

1036
00:57:52,830 --> 00:57:55,660
- Nick. Trying to make a speech here.
- I'm sorry.

1037
00:57:55,830 --> 00:57:58,460
Either bet big or go home.

1038
00:57:58,770 --> 00:58:02,040
If you don't wanna take any chances,
then you shouldn't even be here.

1039
00:58:02,270 --> 00:58:05,670
I know you wanna be here, because
you finish last every single year...

1040
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:07,470
...but you still keep coming back...

1041
00:58:07,650 --> 00:58:09,810
...even if it means
taking endless shit...

1042
00:58:09,980 --> 00:58:12,510
...from total dong-knockers
like the Panthers.

1043
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:14,280
I wanna cut the blond one.

1044
00:58:14,450 --> 00:58:15,680
- What?
- What?

1045
00:58:15,850 --> 00:58:17,450
- What?
- What?

1046
00:58:17,620 --> 00:58:20,390
- What?
- I'm just saying.

1047
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:23,460
Alright Come on, guys.
Let's be cocky assholes.

1048
00:58:23,630 --> 00:58:25,030
You know he's right.

1049
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:26,220
And I can say that...

1050
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:30,060
...because I am the best cheerleader
here, so you can all suck my dick.

1051
00:58:32,870 --> 00:58:34,600
I was just being a cocky asshole.

1052
00:58:34,770 --> 00:58:38,370
Oh, nice. Did you see
what she was doing there?

1053
00:58:38,540 --> 00:58:41,010
That's exactly what I want
from everybody.

1054
00:58:41,180 --> 00:58:42,810
All right, let's do this.

1055
00:58:42,980 --> 00:58:46,440
And remember, you're awesome.
Let's risk it to get the biscuit.

1056
00:58:46,620 --> 00:58:48,050
All right, get cocky, bitches.

1057
00:58:51,390 --> 00:58:53,550
Let's do it. Come on, guys. Ready.

1058
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:54,990
<i>Hit it!</i>

1059
00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:57,390
<i>All you chumps
Think you got poise</i>

1060
00:58:57,560 --> 00:58:59,690
<i>You prance around like little toys</i>

1061
00:58:59,860 --> 00:59:02,130
<i>Do you really think
You can make some noise?</i>

1062
00:59:02,300 --> 00:59:04,170
Five, six, seven, eight.

1063
00:59:04,340 --> 00:59:05,670
<i>Tigers!</i>

1064
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:07,570
- Get cocky.
- Get cocky.

1065
00:59:08,310 --> 00:59:10,270
Come on, everybody.

1066
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:14,370
<i>Let's go, tigres.</i>

1067
00:59:15,710 --> 00:59:17,200
There it is.

1068
00:59:20,050 --> 00:59:21,080
All right, get cocky.

1069
00:59:21,250 --> 00:59:22,480
Here we go, here we go.

1070
00:59:22,650 --> 00:59:23,780
Keep it tight.

1071
00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:39,770
Alright everybody, let's work.

1072
00:59:49,010 --> 00:59:53,580
Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

1073
00:59:53,750 --> 00:59:54,880
There it is.

1074
00:59:55,050 --> 00:59:56,520
Go big, Shawnzy.

1075
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:58,690
I'm doing it, brother.

1076
01:00:02,930 --> 01:00:05,400
Awesome. So much better.

1077
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:15,260
<i>Tigers!</i>

1078
01:00:16,340 --> 01:00:19,640
<i>All right, la tigres. Come on.</i>

1079
01:00:19,840 --> 01:00:22,040
That's my girls right there,
bringing some A-game.

1080
01:00:22,750 --> 01:00:24,270
You are some cocky bitches.

1081
01:00:24,450 --> 01:00:27,780
I think it's safe to say that you guys
are now officially Tigers.

1082
01:00:27,950 --> 01:00:29,890
- Right, girls?
- All right.

1083
01:00:30,050 --> 01:00:31,490
One, two, three.

1084
01:00:31,660 --> 01:00:33,020
Tigers!

1085
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:36,050
One, two, three, frauds!

1086
01:00:36,460 --> 01:00:38,990
- Rick?
- These two have been playing you.

1087
01:00:39,160 --> 01:00:41,390
They didn't come here
because they like cheerleading.

1088
01:00:41,570 --> 01:00:43,760
They came here because
they like cheerleaders.

1089
01:00:43,940 --> 01:00:46,230
- Yeah, we know.
- Everyone knows.

1090
01:00:46,400 --> 01:00:48,270
Why are you here?
What's going on, Rick?

1091
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:51,310
- Bus tickets.
- Damn it.

1092
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:54,500
Your little friends were planning on leaving
before the competition...

1093
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:57,770
...without any feeling for anyone
they may have left in their wake.

1094
01:00:57,950 --> 01:00:59,420
- Animals.
- You were gonna leave us?

1095
01:00:59,580 --> 01:01:02,920
Well, we were gonna off, but we didn't.
That's way before you and I ever

1096
01:01:03,090 --> 01:01:05,750
- You were gonna do this to the squad?
- Carly I can explain.

1097
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:09,650
I can't believe you. I mean,
I knew you were here to get girls, but...

1098
01:01:09,830 --> 01:01:12,130
- ... I thought you really started to get into it.
- I did.

1099
01:01:12,300 --> 01:01:15,490
It started off being about getting girls,
but then it became about getting you.

1100
01:01:15,670 --> 01:01:18,500
- Wait, that doesn't sound right all.
- That sounds exactly right.

1101
01:01:18,670 --> 01:01:20,190
Bail, brother. Bail.

1102
01:01:20,410 --> 01:01:22,030
I really like you, Carly.

1103
01:01:22,210 --> 01:01:23,610
That's close enough, dicklick.

1104
01:01:23,780 --> 01:01:27,730
This is how you show someone you
like them, Shawn? By lying to them?

1105
01:01:27,910 --> 01:01:30,750
To be fair, he lied to you
before he really cared...

1106
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:34,370
...then he tried super hard to word it
so it wouldn't be a lie after that.

1107
01:01:34,550 --> 01:01:36,140
Just so we're on the same page.

1108
01:01:37,090 --> 01:01:40,110
If these weren't tools for healing,
I would crack you in the jaw.

1109
01:01:40,290 --> 01:01:42,190
- You're a tool for healing.
- That's right.

1110
01:01:42,360 --> 01:01:44,290
You're the guy
who's fancy with his words.

1111
01:01:44,460 --> 01:01:47,060
Well, then, why don't
I just read your diary?

1112
01:01:47,230 --> 01:01:50,100
- Where did you get that?
- I've done a bad thing. I'm so sorry.

1113
01:01:50,270 --> 01:01:53,200
I'm sorry. I'm a sorry Suzy
right now. He tricked me.

1114
01:01:53,370 --> 01:01:54,860
You tricked me.

1115
01:01:55,040 --> 01:01:56,440
This is how it happened.

1116
01:01:57,240 --> 01:01:58,270
Brewster!

1117
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:01,440
He said he just wanted to leave you guys a note,
So I brought him to the bunk.

1118
01:02:01,610 --> 01:02:03,440
He must've seen
your stuff on the couch.

1119
01:02:03,610 --> 01:02:06,210
- Why was it on the couch? I left already it in my bed
- I was cleaning up your mess.

1120
01:02:06,380 --> 01:02:08,510
I told you I can't stand clutter.
I warned you.

1121
01:02:08,690 --> 01:02:12,140
- Alright jackass give me the book back.
- "Cheer camp, day one.

1122
01:02:13,060 --> 01:02:16,250
The sun rises in the summer sky...

1123
01:02:16,430 --> 01:02:19,560
...like Rembrandt's brush
on a dogwood branch. "

1124
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:22,800
- Queeratron.
- Let's go. Give it to me.

1125
01:02:23,630 --> 01:02:26,160
Back up, Abercrombie & Bitch.

1126
01:02:27,970 --> 01:02:29,770
"And thereby Diora-"

1127
01:02:34,510 --> 01:02:38,510
"I lie awake thinking, will I ever say
'Diora,' as a whisper in an ear?

1128
01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:41,450
Will she ever say "I love you,"
in a moment with a tear?"

1129
01:02:41,620 --> 01:02:44,280
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

1130
01:02:46,190 --> 01:02:48,520
Carly, I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt you.

1131
01:02:48,690 --> 01:02:52,320
Just leave, okay? Just leave
like you always planned on doing.

1132
01:02:52,500 --> 01:02:55,360
Carly, please, let me explain.
Give me just one second.

1133
01:02:55,530 --> 01:02:57,360
See you later, high school.

1134
01:02:57,540 --> 01:03:00,370
Listen I didn't write that. I bought the book.
It was already in there.

1135
01:03:00,540 --> 01:03:01,870
It was beautiful.

1136
01:03:02,710 --> 01:03:03,940
Thanks.

1137
01:03:07,380 --> 01:03:09,310
Wow I never really thought of that one.

1138
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:12,970
Using one's true feelings
to wrangle snooch.

1139
01:03:14,020 --> 01:03:15,510
So simple.

1140
01:03:30,170 --> 01:03:33,070
So we lied and we got caught.
So what, huh?

1141
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:34,970
We're humans. Humans lie.

1142
01:03:35,140 --> 01:03:38,580
They tell big gigantic two-week-long
lies because they're humans.

1143
01:03:38,740 --> 01:03:41,470
Stop saying "humans". We did this.

1144
01:03:41,650 --> 01:03:43,270
Because we're humans.

1145
01:03:43,450 --> 01:03:46,380
All right, humans are
the only species that can lie.

1146
01:03:46,880 --> 01:03:49,180
Except for maybe chameleons.

1147
01:03:49,890 --> 01:03:52,320
And possums. They play dead.

1148
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:56,920
What's that?

1149
01:03:57,090 --> 01:04:00,220
It's Downey's bracelet.
Yeah, I love that kid, huh?

1150
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:02,760
Said it was cool, so he gave it to me.
How nice is that.

1151
01:04:02,930 --> 01:04:05,990
Those are his... beads, bro.

1152
01:04:06,170 --> 01:04:08,430
Downey liked you.
Like, "liked you" liked you.

1153
01:04:08,610 --> 01:04:11,230
What? That's crazy.
Downey isn't gay.

1154
01:04:11,410 --> 01:04:14,340
Nick, come on. Think about it.

1155
01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:16,640
I'm Nick. This is Shawn.

1156
01:04:16,810 --> 01:04:19,780
- What's up? I'm Downey.
- Hey. Nice to meet you.

1157
01:04:19,950 --> 01:04:23,550
Put it in there.
A little cheer camp. Crazy good times.

1158
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:25,050
Yeah. It's gonna be fun.

1159
01:04:25,220 --> 01:04:27,660
<i>Panther meat!
I said, hey, Tigers!</i>

1160
01:04:27,830 --> 01:04:29,920
<i>- Yeah?
- Hey, Tigers!</i>

1161
01:04:31,100 --> 01:04:32,220
Diora.

1162
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:34,360
Hey, Nick.
You wanna go out on the field...

1163
01:04:34,530 --> 01:04:36,560
...and maybe count shooting stars
with me?

1164
01:04:36,730 --> 01:04:39,070
You're classic, Downey. Classic.

1165
01:04:46,210 --> 01:04:47,940
Raw-hamburger fight!

1166
01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:03,890
I'm hit.

1167
01:05:05,430 --> 01:05:08,800
Medic!
This man needs some jocks-ygen.

1168
01:05:09,500 --> 01:05:11,530
Come on, we're losing him.

1169
01:05:11,700 --> 01:05:16,200
Don't you die on me. Don't die on me.
Don't you die on me.

1170
01:05:16,510 --> 01:05:18,870
<i>You prance around like little toys</i>

1171
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:21,410
<i>Do you really think
You can make some noise?</i>

1172
01:05:21,580 --> 01:05:23,410
Five, six, seven, eight.

1173
01:05:23,580 --> 01:05:25,480
<i>Tigers!</i>

1174
01:05:30,150 --> 01:05:32,820
Welcome back to Sucktown.
Population: you.

1175
01:05:32,990 --> 01:05:37,220
Without your gigolos, looks like
you got last place sewn up, again.

1176
01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:40,590
Why don't you get your nose job
out of everybody else's business.

1177
01:05:40,770 --> 01:05:41,960
I got thrown by a horse when I was six.

1178
01:05:42,130 --> 01:05:44,760
Why? Was he spooked because
you both have the same face?

1179
01:05:44,940 --> 01:05:46,670
You're gonna die. You're gonna die.

1180
01:05:46,840 --> 01:05:48,070
Carly, don't.

1181
01:05:48,240 --> 01:05:52,180
You're placing your anger you had at the boys
on them. It's transference.

1182
01:05:52,380 --> 01:05:54,710
You're right.
I'm gonna punch you in the throat!

1183
01:05:54,950 --> 01:05:56,000
Let it go.

1184
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:02,980
Look at that little hottie. Wonder
what she wants to do with her life.

1185
01:06:03,390 --> 01:06:04,410
What?

1186
01:06:04,590 --> 01:06:07,150
You know how Bianca
wants to go to cooking school...

1187
01:06:07,390 --> 01:06:09,690
...and Sylvia wants to be a pilot,
and...

1188
01:06:09,890 --> 01:06:10,920
Oh, my God.

1189
01:06:11,630 --> 01:06:14,620
I actually know these girls,
as, like, friends.

1190
01:06:14,800 --> 01:06:16,200
And I care.

1191
01:06:16,370 --> 01:06:18,270
I'm becoming
like a fully formed person...

1192
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:20,400
...with like sensitivity and empathy.

1193
01:06:21,440 --> 01:06:23,430
All right, I'm a person!

1194
01:06:23,610 --> 01:06:26,700
Look at the pooper on that one.
I could rest my beer on that shit.

1195
01:06:26,880 --> 01:06:29,680
And you're back. What kind of
dressing goes on a Greek salad?

1196
01:06:29,850 --> 01:06:31,540
Olive oil, top shelf.

1197
01:06:38,990 --> 01:06:42,820
Is it me, Shawnzy, or is this not nearly
as much fun as it was last year?

1198
01:06:42,990 --> 01:06:44,020
It's not you.

1199
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:46,220
This is too high. Give me a boost.

1200
01:06:49,170 --> 01:06:50,220
Shoulder stand.

1201
01:06:50,400 --> 01:06:51,870
- Ready?
- Okay.

1202
01:06:52,470 --> 01:06:54,870
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

1203
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:57,130
- Grab.
- Out, drop, catch, dismount.

1204
01:06:58,040 --> 01:06:59,910
Catch. Yeah, buddy.

1205
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:01,480
Guys?

1206
01:07:02,310 --> 01:07:03,800
Don't take this the wrong way...

1207
01:07:03,980 --> 01:07:06,420
...but I think there's someone
you should talk to.

1208
01:07:07,180 --> 01:07:09,850
Hello, I'm am Reginald
von Belly Button.

1209
01:07:10,020 --> 01:07:12,390
I love Twinkies.

1210
01:07:23,270 --> 01:07:26,170
The competition's tomorrow.
I wonder if we could win it.

1211
01:07:27,140 --> 01:07:28,900
Did you say
"I wonder if we could win"?

1212
01:07:29,070 --> 01:07:30,400
- No.
- Yes, you did.

1213
01:07:30,570 --> 01:07:32,340
- You totally did.
- Didn't.

1214
01:07:32,540 --> 01:07:34,770
You wanna go back.
You're into cheering.

1215
01:07:34,950 --> 01:07:38,640
I am not I'm the captain of the football team alright.
I could give a rat's ass about cheering.

1216
01:07:38,820 --> 01:07:41,250
- You're a cheerleader and you love it.
- You're misquoting me.

1217
01:07:41,420 --> 01:07:42,480
Do you wanna go back or not?

1218
01:07:42,650 --> 01:07:45,710
Sure for you. Because I can't stand
seeing my best friend in Frown Town alright.

1219
01:07:45,890 --> 01:07:47,080
That's how selfless I am.

1220
01:07:47,260 --> 01:07:50,020
I would sacrifice myself
to cheer you up. I'm like Gandhi.

1221
01:07:50,190 --> 01:07:52,590
- Gandhi?
- Gandhi!

1222
01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:55,930
- Mahatma K. Gandhi.
- Quake'n Bake!

1223
01:07:58,440 --> 01:08:00,600
Bus leaves in 20 minutes.

1224
01:08:02,310 --> 01:08:05,640
If we really extend vertically our high V's, we have
a chance at landing that second aerial.

1225
01:08:05,810 --> 01:08:08,040
I don't know who you are anymore.

1226
01:08:09,210 --> 01:08:10,510
Kenny's asleep on the couch.

1227
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:13,150
We're gonna get whipped cream
put in Joshua and paint his face.

1228
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:15,050
- Come on.
- Be right there, dudes.

1229
01:08:15,220 --> 01:08:17,780
- Right behind you, bro.
- Oh, my horse is peeing.

1230
01:08:35,340 --> 01:08:36,970
What is that?

1231
01:08:37,680 --> 01:08:39,340
Go back to sleep.

1232
01:08:43,850 --> 01:08:45,680
Why are you in my bed?

1233
01:08:45,880 --> 01:08:48,080
I must have sleepwalked.

1234
01:08:48,250 --> 01:08:50,850
I'm here now.
Let's just make the best of it.

1235
01:08:51,160 --> 01:08:53,620
Get out of my bed, Bianca.

1236
01:08:53,790 --> 01:08:57,020
- I kind of can't.
- Why?

1237
01:08:57,190 --> 01:08:59,130
I might not have pants on.

1238
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:03,820
- What are you doing here?
- I came back.

1239
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:07,230
- I can see that. Goodbye.
- Carly, just listen to me for second please.

1240
01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:08,800
- Why should I?
- Because we're teammates.

1241
01:09:08,970 --> 01:09:11,370
Teammates don't join a team
under false pretenses...

1242
01:09:11,540 --> 01:09:13,530
...then leave once they
got what they wanted.

1243
01:09:13,710 --> 01:09:16,510
I know you're pissed at me,
and you should be. I lied to you.

1244
01:09:16,680 --> 01:09:20,780
But this is about me and you, It's about the squad. 
We all worked way too hard to throw it away.

1245
01:09:20,950 --> 01:09:22,780
How are you standing in the middle of the air?

1246
01:09:22,950 --> 01:09:25,220
Just take us back already. Christ!

1247
01:09:25,390 --> 01:09:26,980
Nick. Carly...

1248
01:09:27,160 --> 01:09:29,250
...I know you know I like you,
but that's not why I'm here.

1249
01:09:29,430 --> 01:09:30,790
Oh, rock me, sexy Jesus.

1250
01:09:30,960 --> 01:09:32,430
- Why are you here?
- Honestly?

1251
01:09:32,600 --> 01:09:35,590
- No. Lie to me again.
- Shawnzy, make it quick, buddy.

1252
01:09:35,770 --> 01:09:38,460
- Buddy.
- I like cheering.

1253
01:09:40,340 --> 01:09:41,460
Fraggle Rock.

1254
01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:42,730
I'm sorry, man.

1255
01:09:43,170 --> 01:09:44,200
My pecs are sore.

1256
01:09:44,380 --> 01:09:48,070
Oh, my God, Diora's right.
My left side is weaker.

1257
01:09:48,250 --> 01:09:50,510
- I favor one side.
- Pull me up. Pull me up.

1258
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:53,150
Is this all part of your plan
to get a little face time with me?

1259
01:09:53,320 --> 01:09:55,980
No. I'm dying here, seriously.

1260
01:09:56,850 --> 01:10:00,350
- Carly, come on. We need them.
- I don't really wanna come in last again.

1261
01:10:02,360 --> 01:10:04,760
Fine. But I'm only doing this
for the squad.

1262
01:10:04,930 --> 01:10:06,330
You got it.

1263
01:10:08,900 --> 01:10:11,230
- Bianca?
- Yeah.

1264
01:10:11,400 --> 01:10:14,890
Any chance you could throw on
a pair of underpants?

1265
01:10:16,310 --> 01:10:19,500
It's competition day today.
Competition.

1266
01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:29,050
- Wow, this is big-time.
- Yeah, it is.

1267
01:10:29,220 --> 01:10:32,310
Well, well, well, if it isn't a couple
of wolves in cheer clothing.

1268
01:10:32,490 --> 01:10:35,620
Which part of the "next time I see
your punim they'll be on the moon"...

1269
01:10:35,790 --> 01:10:38,790
- ... didn't you understand?
- Like, the whole thing?

1270
01:10:38,960 --> 01:10:41,630
I'm gonna have to go ahead
and ask you both to go ahead...

1271
01:10:41,800 --> 01:10:44,130
...and leave right now to leave now.

1272
01:10:44,300 --> 01:10:46,330
It's all right coach.
I told them they could stay.

1273
01:10:46,500 --> 01:10:49,500
You really want these strong-jawed
philanderers on your squad?

1274
01:10:49,670 --> 01:10:50,700
Yeah.

1275
01:10:51,380 --> 01:10:53,870
It was just a little misunderstanding
we had before.

1276
01:10:54,040 --> 01:10:55,140
All right. Your choice.

1277
01:10:55,310 --> 01:10:59,110
Next time you screw up,
I'm gonna have both your asses.

1278
01:10:59,580 --> 01:11:00,610
That's frightening.

1279
01:11:00,780 --> 01:11:02,810
Let's move it along.
Giddyup and roar.

1280
01:11:02,990 --> 01:11:05,320
Let me see those claws.
Move it along.

1281
01:11:05,490 --> 01:11:10,430
Meet me on Taryn Field tonight
after the competition. Bring your diary.

1282
01:11:10,830 --> 01:11:12,800
Only if you bring the dance
in your step...

1283
01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:16,160
...like a shimmering nymph
traveling the back of the wind.

1284
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:22,400
Good afternoon, and welcome
to Channel 29's coverage...

1285
01:11:22,570 --> 01:11:25,800
...of the Regional Southeastern
Illinois Cheerleading Competition.

1286
01:11:53,270 --> 01:11:57,260
Bend at the hips and reach through
your hands. Don't lock-

1287
01:11:57,440 --> 01:12:01,170
Dear God, please give us the strength to
land our flip-flops and basket tosses.

1288
01:12:01,350 --> 01:12:03,180
Amen. Oh, and fix the economy.

1289
01:12:03,350 --> 01:12:05,980
- Red leather, yellow leather.
- Red leather, yellow leather.

1290
01:12:06,150 --> 01:12:08,620
- Unique New York.
- Unique New York.

1291
01:12:08,820 --> 01:12:11,910
- Barack, Barack, Barack Obama.
- Barack, Barack, Barack Obama.

1292
01:12:12,090 --> 01:12:17,990
Five, six, seven, eight.
Kill, Panthers, kill. Panthers, kill...

1293
01:12:21,530 --> 01:12:24,630
- Shawn.
- Carly.

1294
01:12:25,040 --> 01:12:27,870
- What you did really hurt me.
- I know, I know. I know.

1295
01:12:28,040 --> 01:12:32,810
I want you to know why. It's just
I thought you and I got really close...

1296
01:12:32,980 --> 01:12:34,170
...and I trusted you.

1297
01:12:34,350 --> 01:12:36,580
I know.
I felt the same way about you.

1298
01:12:37,510 --> 01:12:41,710
I'm really sorry, Carly.
And I don't expect you to forgive me.

1299
01:12:41,890 --> 01:12:43,350
I just want you to know I'm sorry.

1300
01:12:43,990 --> 01:12:46,390
There's my Carly Davidson!

1301
01:12:49,990 --> 01:12:51,320
Hi, Rick.

1302
01:12:53,530 --> 01:12:57,300
- Just came by to say break a leg.
- That's theater. This is cheering.

1303
01:12:57,470 --> 01:12:58,940
You better believe it.

1304
01:12:59,100 --> 01:13:01,770
- What's up, Dick?
- It's Rick. Dr. Rick.

1305
01:13:02,670 --> 01:13:05,770
God, I keep doing that.
You just look like such a Dick to me.

1306
01:13:05,940 --> 01:13:07,880
What are you two crunt-sacks
doing back here?

1307
01:13:08,050 --> 01:13:10,910
It's okay. They're just helping us
do our final routine.

1308
01:13:11,080 --> 01:13:12,380
I'll be watching you.

1309
01:13:12,550 --> 01:13:16,380
Yeah. That's exactly what an audience
member does at a performance base event.

1310
01:13:16,590 --> 01:13:18,050
Just go sit down, Rick.

1311
01:13:20,190 --> 01:13:23,460
<i>Robert De Niro,
Meet the Parents reference. Love it.</i>

1312
01:13:24,730 --> 01:13:26,750
- God, he seems great.
- Really nice.

1313
01:13:26,930 --> 01:13:27,950
I like him.

1314
01:13:37,610 --> 01:13:38,730
Here you go. Look alive.

1315
01:13:38,910 --> 01:13:40,740
Coming at you.
Here you go. Look alive.

1316
01:13:40,910 --> 01:13:43,810
Coming at you. Here you go,
freak shows. New uniforms.

1317
01:13:44,580 --> 01:13:46,980
- Here you go. Look alive.
- We didn't order these.

1318
01:13:47,150 --> 01:13:49,280
No shit, lesbatron. My brother did.

1319
01:13:49,450 --> 01:13:51,610
We're a new squad this year.
We need new uniforms.

1320
01:13:51,790 --> 01:13:54,780
- Thank you, Shawn.
- Awesome. Thank you.

1321
01:13:54,960 --> 01:13:58,050
- Okay. You owe me 127.80.
- You said it was gonna be 200.

1322
01:13:58,230 --> 01:14:00,630
- I cut you a deal.
- Wow, Poppy. Thank you.

1323
01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:02,630
That's actually human of you.

1324
01:14:02,800 --> 01:14:04,960
Don't get all ABC Family
on me here, buddy.

1325
01:14:05,140 --> 01:14:06,300
You're actually doing me a favor.

1326
01:14:06,470 --> 01:14:10,000
I guaranteed Staples 45 seconds
of airtime, so cheat out to camera.

1327
01:14:10,170 --> 01:14:12,070
And work this into your cheer:

1328
01:14:12,240 --> 01:14:14,730
"Staples now carries 30-percent
recycled copy paper.

1329
01:14:14,910 --> 01:14:17,470
Staples, committed to the
environment, committed to you. "

1330
01:14:17,650 --> 01:14:18,670
- Hey.
- Okay.

1331
01:14:18,850 --> 01:14:21,280
If I don't have the money by sundown,
it's my shoe in your ass.

1332
01:14:21,450 --> 01:14:24,420
- That seems fair.
- You look great. Are you in love?

1333
01:14:27,420 --> 01:14:28,480
Stay safe.

1334
01:14:31,430 --> 01:14:32,450
What's up, kid?

1335
01:14:32,630 --> 01:14:34,100
- Downey.
- Good to have you back.

1336
01:14:34,260 --> 01:14:37,960
Dude, Why didn't you tell me you're gay?
I'd have been totally okay with that.

1337
01:14:38,140 --> 01:14:42,000
- Paint with all the colors of the wind.
- Wait. You're straight?

1338
01:14:44,410 --> 01:14:46,840
Am I straight? Yes.

1339
01:14:47,010 --> 01:14:48,380
But what about your diary?

1340
01:14:48,550 --> 01:14:51,340
Then you asked for my beads
and stuck them in your mouth-

1341
01:14:51,520 --> 01:14:54,180
- I thought it was a bracelet.
- Why would you stick a bracelet in your mouth?

1342
01:14:54,350 --> 01:14:55,880
- I don't know.
- The closet door...

1343
01:14:56,050 --> 01:14:57,950
...is made of all kinds of wood,
my brother.

1344
01:14:58,120 --> 01:14:59,610
What?

1345
01:15:01,690 --> 01:15:03,130
- All kinds.
- Okay.

1346
01:15:04,290 --> 01:15:06,960
God, that is so awkward.

1347
01:15:10,700 --> 01:15:14,430
The Panthers, clear favorites,
have really come to play today.

1348
01:15:43,000 --> 01:15:46,530
<i>Fierce, brave, hungry, Panthers</i>

1349
01:15:46,700 --> 01:15:47,760
<i>Kill!</i>

1350
01:15:58,350 --> 01:16:00,910
- Dude, they're kind of great.
- Yeah.

1351
01:16:01,080 --> 01:16:02,680
It's not about them, guys.

1352
01:16:02,850 --> 01:16:06,190
It's about us. Just stay focused.
We'll be fine.

1353
01:16:06,360 --> 01:16:07,380
Panthers out.

1354
01:16:15,930 --> 01:16:17,370
Oh, let me get that for you.

1355
01:16:22,240 --> 01:16:23,430
Drool much?

1356
01:16:24,580 --> 01:16:26,340
Panthers out.

1357
01:16:37,960 --> 01:16:42,050
Free paper, courtesy of Staples.
30-percent recycled copy paper.

1358
01:16:42,230 --> 01:16:44,920
Staples, committed to the
environment, committed to you.

1359
01:16:45,130 --> 01:16:46,990
Do you have
50-percent recycled paper?

1360
01:16:47,160 --> 01:16:50,960
No. But I have 50-percent recycled
asshole paper. It's in the men's room.

1361
01:16:51,130 --> 01:16:53,470
It's free, gay bar, just take it.

1362
01:16:53,640 --> 01:16:55,100
Let's do this.

1363
01:16:55,270 --> 01:16:56,370
- Tigers!
- Let's go. Let's go.

1364
01:16:56,410 --> 01:16:57,470
- Tigers!
- Let's go. Let's go.

1365
01:16:57,640 --> 01:17:01,740
Now, the Tigers from Gerald R. Ford
High School in Hinsdale, Illinois.

1366
01:17:01,850 --> 01:17:04,840
This team historically ranks last
like their namesake president.

1367
01:17:05,020 --> 01:17:07,310
Let's see if they've
stepped it up this year.

1368
01:17:07,480 --> 01:17:10,280
Hey. Is this on TV?
Dude, this can't be on TV.

1369
01:17:10,450 --> 01:17:13,790
Don't worry. It's NBC. No one
watches network television anymore.

1370
01:17:13,960 --> 01:17:16,080
Look, it's Nick on TV, cheerleading.

1371
01:17:16,690 --> 01:17:18,850
Shawn too. They're cheerleaders.

1372
01:17:19,030 --> 01:17:21,620
I thought those dudes
were in the kitchen.

1373
01:17:22,470 --> 01:17:25,920
<i>All you chumps think you got poise
You prance around like little toys</i>

1374
01:17:26,100 --> 01:17:27,400
Shit.

1375
01:17:28,110 --> 01:17:29,370
My chickens.

1376
01:17:29,540 --> 01:17:31,340
Five, six, seven, eight.

1377
01:17:31,510 --> 01:17:33,070
<i>Tigers!</i>

1378
01:17:54,770 --> 01:17:58,000
Risky floor stunts, athletic tumbling,
tight formations.

1379
01:17:58,170 --> 01:18:01,370
Looks like the addition of those
two new guys is really paying off.

1380
01:18:05,440 --> 01:18:06,670
Oh, my God, that bitch.

1381
01:18:08,850 --> 01:18:12,040
- It's not totally her fault.
- I was talking about Dr. Dick.

1382
01:18:12,220 --> 01:18:14,680
I know It sucks. Don't let it distract you.
We're gonna win this thing.

1383
01:18:14,850 --> 01:18:17,180
No, we're not Shawn.
We're not as good as the others.

1384
01:18:17,350 --> 01:18:19,690
Yeah, we are. And there's
one way we can prove it.

1385
01:18:23,860 --> 01:18:25,760
- The Fountain of Troy.
- Yeah, right.

1386
01:18:25,930 --> 01:18:28,590
I thought that move
was prohibidimibidibabido.

1387
01:18:38,080 --> 01:18:39,100
Remember John Lennon?

1388
01:18:39,280 --> 01:18:41,800
"Life's what happens when
you're busy making other plans. "

1389
01:18:41,980 --> 01:18:44,880
- Well This is it. Life's happening.
- It's not that easy, Shawn.

1390
01:18:45,050 --> 01:18:49,040
I never said it was. You can do it.
I know you can. I'll jump it with you.

1391
01:18:49,220 --> 01:18:51,620
I still just don't see them
qualifying for States.

1392
01:18:51,790 --> 01:18:54,880
They are just not in the same league
as the top teams here.

1393
01:18:56,490 --> 01:18:58,260
- Who's gonna catch me?
- Nick.

1394
01:18:58,430 --> 01:19:01,860
- Who's gonna catch you?
- Them.

1395
01:19:02,030 --> 01:19:04,560
I have total faith in them.
They're Tigers.

1396
01:19:04,740 --> 01:19:07,030
- But what if they don't?
- Bet big or go home right.

1397
01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:09,200
You gotta risk it to get the biscuit.

1398
01:19:16,250 --> 01:19:17,610
- We're doing it.
- Are you sure?

1399
01:19:17,780 --> 01:19:19,250
We're doing a lot of talking than a routine.

1400
01:19:19,420 --> 01:19:21,820
I mean I new to this seems like a lot
of talking during the routine.

1401
01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:26,420
Lot of talking during the routine.

1402
01:19:27,660 --> 01:19:29,850
I'm the fountain.
Shawn, base. Nick, back.

1403
01:19:30,030 --> 01:19:32,550
Girls, catch. Shawn,
double-back handspring to end it.

1404
01:19:32,730 --> 01:19:33,790
- Got it.
- Ready?

1405
01:19:33,960 --> 01:19:35,260
Break.

1406
01:19:43,940 --> 01:19:47,400
Is this what I think it is? Are the Tigers
trying the Fountain of Troy?

1407
01:19:48,280 --> 01:19:51,980
This is the most dangerous move
in cheerleading. OMG.

1408
01:19:52,220 --> 01:19:53,710
That's prohibidado.

1409
01:19:54,380 --> 01:19:57,410
I told them in Spanish. How much
clearer could I have been?

1410
01:19:58,290 --> 01:19:59,410
Here comes the build.

1411
01:20:00,720 --> 01:20:01,750
Nice.

1412
01:20:04,160 --> 01:20:06,290
An awesome flying pose.

1413
01:20:12,140 --> 01:20:14,470
Here it comes, the final fountain.

1414
01:20:19,580 --> 01:20:21,130
And now for the final dismount.

1415
01:20:21,810 --> 01:20:23,110
Yes.

1416
01:20:24,310 --> 01:20:25,940
Perfect.

1417
01:20:26,520 --> 01:20:27,680
And the final flip out.

1418
01:20:28,220 --> 01:20:29,620
Here it comes, and...

1419
01:20:30,220 --> 01:20:31,740
<i>Tigers!</i>

1420
01:20:43,370 --> 01:20:44,770
Shawn!

1421
01:20:54,540 --> 01:20:55,600
Tigers!

1422
01:21:02,150 --> 01:21:03,710
That little shit.

1423
01:21:03,920 --> 01:21:05,440
My chicken shit.

1424
01:21:07,560 --> 01:21:10,050
Shawnzy. No, come here.
Come here, buddy. God.

1425
01:21:15,030 --> 01:21:16,060
Hey.

1426
01:21:17,500 --> 01:21:18,520
Hey.

1427
01:21:19,800 --> 01:21:21,670
Did we win?
Are we going to States?

1428
01:21:21,840 --> 01:21:23,470
No, we came in 19th.

1429
01:21:24,980 --> 01:21:26,000
I'm sorry.

1430
01:21:26,180 --> 01:21:29,170
Are you kidding? That's 10 places
better than we did last year.

1431
01:21:29,350 --> 01:21:31,940
And If they didn't deduct points
for the Fountain of Troy...

1432
01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:33,510
...I think we might've made top three.

1433
01:21:34,080 --> 01:21:36,020
You nailed your triple backflip.

1434
01:21:36,190 --> 01:21:37,880
I nailed my double backflip...

1435
01:21:38,050 --> 01:21:41,720
...because a triple backflip
would've landed me in the water.

1436
01:21:42,590 --> 01:21:45,150
Yeah, I did do three.
That makes more sense.

1437
01:21:59,080 --> 01:22:02,270
- What was that?
- About three weeks overdue.

1438
01:22:13,360 --> 01:22:15,020
What the hell are you doing?

1439
01:22:16,930 --> 01:22:18,290
Kissing my teammate.

1440
01:22:18,500 --> 01:22:22,690
You wanna die today? I can take life
just as fast as I can give it.

1441
01:22:22,870 --> 01:22:24,460
First of all, you're not a doctor.

1442
01:22:25,270 --> 01:22:27,130
Second of all,
you're not my boyfriend anymore.

1443
01:22:27,300 --> 01:22:29,140
What? Carly Fries, come on.

1444
01:22:30,110 --> 01:22:32,600
You're dumping me for him?

1445
01:22:33,040 --> 01:22:34,410
No, I'm dumping you, period.

1446
01:22:34,580 --> 01:22:39,510
And then I'm gonna be with him,
period. If that's okay with him.

1447
01:22:41,050 --> 01:22:42,210
Question mark.

1448
01:22:42,420 --> 01:22:45,050
Totally. Exclamation point.

1449
01:22:45,460 --> 01:22:48,620
Oh, puke.
Parentheses, bold, underline.

1450
01:22:49,790 --> 01:22:54,730
Carly Horse. Carly's Jr., baby.
Larry, Moe and Carly.

1451
01:22:55,670 --> 01:22:58,290
Carly and the Chocolate Factory,
sugar.

1452
01:23:00,000 --> 01:23:02,530
Carlsbad, Carly-fornia.

1453
01:23:03,370 --> 01:23:05,270
Why don't you run along now?

1454
01:23:05,440 --> 01:23:07,470
The longer you watch,
the sadder it gets.

1455
01:23:07,640 --> 01:23:09,670
- I'll show you sad.
- Hey, buddy.

1456
01:23:09,850 --> 01:23:11,070
Oh, Jesus.

1457
01:23:11,250 --> 01:23:12,340
- Nick.
- Nick.

1458
01:23:15,250 --> 01:23:16,550
That was for the Crocs.

1459
01:23:16,750 --> 01:23:19,380
You're not an old lady gardening
or a baby on the beach.

1460
01:23:19,560 --> 01:23:22,990
Okay? Now put on some shoes,
you're embarrassing yourself.

1461
01:23:25,500 --> 01:23:27,220
I'm just saying.

1462
01:23:27,400 --> 01:23:30,370
- You okay?
- Nothing a kiss can't fix.

1463
01:23:30,530 --> 01:23:32,160
Wait till tonight.

1464
01:23:34,070 --> 01:23:37,060
I'm gonna make a wish on these
and throw them into the sky.

1465
01:23:40,080 --> 01:23:42,700
I hope one of you ends up
in my ER one day, bleeding...

1466
01:23:42,880 --> 01:23:45,250
...I'll make you wait for days.

1467
01:23:45,520 --> 01:23:48,350
Unless one of you has Blue Cross...

1468
01:23:48,920 --> 01:23:52,010
...that's a PPO,
none of that HMO bullshit!

1469
01:23:56,390 --> 01:23:58,020
This is so cute.

1470
01:23:58,190 --> 01:24:01,930
The 19th-placers.
You're like the littlest pigs.

1471
01:24:04,370 --> 01:24:07,670
- How does it feel to still suck ass?
- You tell me.

1472
01:24:11,240 --> 01:24:15,010
Please don't hurt us. I was just kidding
about the whole rivalry thing.

1473
01:24:15,180 --> 01:24:18,200
Cheering doesn't mean that much
to me. I wanna be a paralegal.

1474
01:24:18,380 --> 01:24:20,350
I love your hair. Go.
That bitch is crazy.

1475
01:24:20,520 --> 01:24:24,080
Way to go, Bianca.
I didn't know you had it in you.

1476
01:24:24,250 --> 01:24:26,550
There's a lot you don't know
about her.

1477
01:24:27,360 --> 01:24:30,520
You know that John Lennon
"life happening"...

1478
01:24:30,690 --> 01:24:34,190
..."risk it to get the biscuit"
stuff you said back there?

1479
01:24:34,360 --> 01:24:35,700
It didn't really make sense.

1480
01:24:35,870 --> 01:24:37,560
Well, it got you to do it.

1481
01:24:37,730 --> 01:24:40,360
No. You got me to do it.

1482
01:24:48,380 --> 01:24:51,910
Well, congratulations, kid.
You got what you wanted.

1483
01:24:52,280 --> 01:24:54,770
Great deal thanks to you.
I couldn't have done it without you.

1484
01:24:54,950 --> 01:24:57,750
- Just shut up. Shut up.
- Is it hard for you to accept thanks?

1485
01:24:57,920 --> 01:25:00,320
- You want me to accept thanks?
- Yeah. Open up to me.

1486
01:25:00,490 --> 01:25:03,080
Here it comes from my mouth.
And you're welcome.

1487
01:25:05,160 --> 01:25:06,460
Diora.

1488
01:25:06,630 --> 01:25:08,460
Lose the clothes.

1489
01:25:12,140 --> 01:25:13,860
That's good. No.

1490
01:25:15,640 --> 01:25:17,540
- Read me something from your diary.
- What?

1491
01:25:17,710 --> 01:25:22,140
"Perchance to dream,
perchance to love a wind- Hair...

1492
01:25:22,310 --> 01:25:25,870
- the summer skies
as teardrops cascade from my lo-"

1493
01:25:29,250 --> 01:25:31,280
Oh, my God. My husband.

1494
01:25:32,560 --> 01:25:34,020
This is not what it looks like.

1495
01:25:34,190 --> 01:25:36,160
Looks like you're running
some naked night drill.

1496
01:25:36,330 --> 01:25:37,350
Exactly.

1497
01:25:37,530 --> 01:25:39,860
- Carry on.
- With what? Kissing your wife?

1498
01:25:40,030 --> 01:25:42,430
Good one. Five, six, seven, eight.

1499
01:25:42,600 --> 01:25:45,470
<i>I said, hey, Tigers! Yeah?
I said, hey, Tigers! Yeah?</i>

1500
01:25:45,640 --> 01:25:47,190
Hold it.

1501
01:25:49,510 --> 01:25:54,000
I'm gonna lay my hands on you to get
a really good sense of your movement.

1502
01:25:54,180 --> 01:25:55,740
Five, six, seven, eight.

1503
01:25:55,950 --> 01:25:57,780
<i>- I said, hey, Tigers!
- Yeah!</i>

1504
01:25:57,950 --> 01:25:59,970
<i>- I said, hey, Tigers!
- Yeah!</i>

1505
01:26:00,150 --> 01:26:02,680
<i>- What do we like to-?
- Panther meat!</i>

1506
01:26:02,890 --> 01:26:05,180
Sweet Jesus, mother of God!

1507
01:26:06,190 --> 01:26:09,560
Guys come on I don't wanna run laps all afternoon.
I have a shrink appointment.

1508
01:26:09,730 --> 01:26:12,660
Dude, your cousin stuck his finger
in your ass. Get over it.

1509
01:26:12,830 --> 01:26:14,800
Dude, your dad put his wang
on your shoulder.

1510
01:26:14,960 --> 01:26:17,300
Dude, your mom gave you an HJ
and tipped you a dollar.

1511
01:26:17,470 --> 01:26:19,630
Dude, your cousin whacked you
in the face with his wang.

1512
01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:23,200
Come on, your cousin put his wiener
on your plate. You gotta get over it man.

1513
01:26:23,370 --> 01:26:25,640
Will you shut up, man?
I'm too straight to be gay.

1514
01:26:25,810 --> 01:26:29,840
<i>I could watch What Not to Wear
with Nathan Lane in my blouse...</i>

1515
01:26:30,050 --> 01:26:32,070
...and still win a straight award.

1516
01:26:32,250 --> 01:26:33,310
That's not right.

1517
01:26:33,480 --> 01:26:35,380
I could smoke pole
and still be straight.

1518
01:26:35,550 --> 01:26:37,710
- I can't say "smoke pole"?
- No.

1519
01:26:39,620 --> 01:26:41,250
Carly. Come here.

1520
01:26:41,420 --> 01:26:44,120
We're working on a new mount
Bianca came up with.

1521
01:26:44,290 --> 01:26:47,020
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

1522
01:26:47,200 --> 01:26:49,390
- We didn't order these.
- No shit, lesbatron.

1523
01:26:49,570 --> 01:26:52,470
No shit, Indigo Girl.
No shit, Lesbos, island of Greece.

1524
01:26:52,640 --> 01:26:55,160
No shit, queer-leader.
No shit, Dixie Chick.

1525
01:26:55,340 --> 01:26:57,830
Wait, what? Just joking. Sorry.

1526
01:26:58,040 --> 01:26:59,940
The Fountain of Troy?

1527
01:27:00,110 --> 01:27:02,240
I thought that move
was prohibidabido.

1528
01:27:04,310 --> 01:27:05,940
It's not prohibidabido?

1529
01:27:06,120 --> 01:27:08,050
No, I'm pretty sure
it's prohibibabido.

1530
01:27:10,150 --> 01:27:11,180
Cut.

1531
01:27:11,350 --> 01:27:13,550
Go ahead and clap.

1532
01:27:14,320 --> 01:27:16,420
Mediocrity deserves applause.

1533
01:27:16,590 --> 01:27:19,720
Why don't we go find a Ford Focus
and clap around it?

1534
01:27:23,700 --> 01:27:25,130
Mascot down!

1535
01:27:27,040 --> 01:27:28,800
It's a dragon!

1536
01:27:31,140 --> 01:27:32,540
Tell me about that road.

1537
01:27:36,350 --> 01:27:38,180
Is it lonely on that road?

1538
01:27:44,020 --> 01:27:45,390
Have you made up your mind?

1539
01:27:47,590 --> 01:27:50,860
- You gonna waste any more time?
- No!

1540
01:27:53,230 --> 01:27:54,290
Then here we go.

1541
01:28:08,680 --> 01:28:11,200
- F-U!
- F-U!

1542
01:28:18,150 --> 01:28:19,490
You're damn straight. F-U!

1543
01:29:55,820 --> 01:29:59,250
I can't take this head anymore.
Oh, the air feels so good.

1544
01:30:00,960 --> 01:30:02,290
All right, kiss me.

1545
01:30:03,660 --> 01:30:04,820
What are you doing?

1546
01:30:05,930 --> 01:30:07,900
Keep it on, sexy beast.

1547
01:30:22,710 --> 01:30:25,370
And that's how you kiss a guy.

1548
01:30:26,380 --> 01:30:27,370
Okay.

1549
01:30:27,550 --> 01:30:29,850
All right, again.