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I'm having a sexy soiree.
This is a home based business multilevel marketing that I do,
sell Lutheran approved sex toys to married women.
Wow, this excitement is felt with you as a woman today.
You know, actually can Do you hear me without a microphone?
- Yes, sitting here - I think so. Okay okay
Alright, sexy soiree is a Lutheran-based company.
This is a Lutheran marriage aid.
This product is for marriage only.
... and I have to tell the truth here.
Pauline and I actually don't use the product.
I wasn't even allowed to see the product.
I'm Sharon Solfest and this is my sister, Pauline.
I'm Pauline Solfest.
Well, you know, this is the first time
in the history of Van Rookle farms,
which began in 1945, this is the first time
there are two sisters, two finalists...
We don't like to say this is competition.
- because we don't compete - Because we don't compete We... from different categories.
And this is a fluffer whip.
Stop that, I'm not married.
My recipe is a chocolate cake mixture.
This, well, is very brown.
Sprinkled with delicious Graham Graham snacks,
.... Graham's chocolate crunch.
Then, sprinkled with fondant, like icing.
- And... - Smooth.
So smooth. Very mousse.
It's like pudding / mousse.
And then chocolate chips,
ordinary chocolate chips, milk chocolate chips,
white chocolate chips, and then candy.
Chocolate chip Butterscotch.
Butterscotch chocolate chip, Thank you.
This will give you a seizure effect.
This...
You know, pretty much the way you want.
- Yeah. - What do you need, like Novocain
or some kind of topical, uh,
- Numbing agent to use it? - Not me...
You know, you're a medical professional so you know more about that than me.
This is where I work,
in the care of seniors.
And that is the most fun thing in the world for me.
- This is Mrs. Burress. - I can't find calm all night long!
What is the order? In your bedroom? Bitch!
I get paid eight hours a day,
but I can sometimes be 14 hours.
because I really enjoyed it.
I'm a nutritionist.
I mostly take care of soft food because that's what can be digested here.
Hey, don't swallow the spoon too.
Ah, put it on me... Alright.
- In vegetables, no one enters it. - Nobody ever.
I thought, "Alright, I'll put cream in corn."
This is corn cream for lactose which is intolerant.
Made with a mixture of ja-mocha, which...
You know, this is a non-milk creamer.
Right, cream corn, non-dairy creamer.
Those who can't do it, You know what's happening
If you can't digest milk. That is a situation...
- well, you know, they have... - that I want to get out during the third shift.
This is my life, you know I work here 14 hours a day.
I go home and take care of my father.
I don't have much time. I do not have a lover.
So my fiance, Lars Hagerbakke and me,
love each other.
Um, we met at the theater blue earth community
producing doll fashion
I was adopted by the Hagerbakke family.
I'm very, very Swedish.
- I mean... - the most Swedish
Actually, his mother, Ingalo,
always say, "you know what,
Lars are the most Swedish
of everyone in our family."
He makes food...
All recipes Kaka soecker,
- that's my favorite - Soecker kaka,
which is our favorite.
We like it very much.
It's like, can you get a kaka soecker?
- No no. - I don't think so
I really wake up with a foul-smelling kaka in my mouth and happy,
- if I can. - He will be happy That's how he wants to wake up.
Uh, Lars and me
has made a commitment for the holy bond.
Our sacred bond We save ourselves
for marriage agreements And we've been together, it's not easy.
Can you describe your life together?
This is the first year of the Van Rookle farm has offered a prize of one million dollars,
which is very amazing
Shh! Please!
Don't be too noisy because I'm being interviewed.
The more ingredients you use Van Rookle
at... umm, on your plate,
the better chance You win.
So for example, instead of using,
You know, like beef,
You can use Van farms Rookle imitation, um, kernel meat,
and the best thing is
it doesn't need to be cooled first.
So it will stay fresh everywhere...
You can be like, "oh honey, you dropped that grain."
Like, "oh, just leave it there,
We will take care of it later, no problem."
So what's the point that will happen?
is that all 50 contestants
will come through that door,
and we have contestants from all over the country.
One of these things is like Noah's here, at the cook's place.
Uh... women and this year,
one person, our first male contestant.
And we have a contestant African American
This year, finally.
And we... It's nice to have it.
That doesn't matter to us.
I don't know who will be a problem.
And God said...
I brought the people of Egypt.
All Egyptians.
Honor your mother and your father, God said.
Now I want to respect my mother.
I want all of you to know Briggs's sister,
Our sister, Briggs,
has just been selected as a finalist
on Van farm Rookle cook-off.
Like manna from heaven,
The bread will be delivered to us.
You know I can make bread.
God has given 5,000 bread and fish.
Well, he will give me.
My name is Ladybug Briggs.
The reason they call me ladybug is because I like insects.
Now I'm not wearing my fingernails
because this is weak and I use tensoplast
to hold it back.
I like insects
because they gave me luck,
like they will take me
for this cooking competition
in... um... For va...
What's the name?
This, uh, ranch Van Rookle cook-off.
To cook on the Van Rookle cook-off.
Now I have, um, become a cook maybe around 12 years.
Mark, Mark, you're on camera.
Oh well.
I will karate if they look for someone like that, only...
- They are not looking...
All right, you know, it's my son, Mark,
and if someone needs someone to practice karate, he is great.
Yes.
And I am his eldest child, Thaddeus Briggs.
- Yes, Thaddeus This is my son - Rev. Thaddeus Briggs.
- That's right. - Rev. Thaddeus Briggs.
But he's a priest, he's also...
Um, what are you doing?
- I'm a lawyer, mama. - A minister and lawyer.
You've seen the winner.
The millions of dollars winner is here now.
- Mother? - Yes dear?
Look at this
there are people who are allergic to those things.
And I have a beautiful scooter.
I have a carpel tunnel
and people don't know that the carpel tunnel is moving.
Tell them, Thaddeus. It's at my feet and makes my legs weak.
There!
Anything else you want to know?
Do you know what? We can...
How many kidney stones have I passed? Hah?
Why is my right butt a little higher than the left?
I became upset.
These people are all... me...
- I know, it's okay. - Too many cameras.
Too many white people.
I can't stand it, Thaddeus.
They will meet a celebrity guest judge.
They will hear the rules.
And of course, my favorite part,
lighting from a ceremonial oven,
the same as the Olympics.
It's kind of "haa"
You know, a kind of moment.
When I "haa," I mean, like a lot of cheering.
That sounds weird.
Match days will arrive soon.
Will and I come along as 'tootin' cowboys.
Being a mother is the hardest job ever.
- This is very useful, but... - The only thing that might be more difficult is selling insurance.
I don't know if you've been familiar with insurance matters,
but it's brutal
I didn't take part in Vietnam, I'm too young,
but that's how it is.
That's crazy Half my time, I sell,
half my other time explained it to my staff.
- this... ugh - No. Yeah, nine to five.
I'm a finalist.
This is called a multi-layered anti-oxidant
rainbow gelatin Dee-light.
This is science and also nutrition.
- Nah- - if we win this,
oh my God, a million dollars.
Well, I plan on going to the end of the spa for a weekend for myself.
You know, I mean, my whole day.
I mean, I also want to enjoy all day for me.
But, um, I'm too busy busy earning a living.
- Is there good news again? - Yes, I'm pregnant Oh, hey.
He talks, "Why don't you do a vasectomy?"
And I'm like, "uh, because that is part of my body
I really care and I won't let the knife to take it."
All our children, if You can believe this,
everything is born... I fully use contraception.
I mean, honestly,
I'm afraid to sleep in the same bed with him again.
- Just when I saw it - "do-do, do-do, do-do..."
This is what we call the ring of fire.
This oven is used
for the last stage of the competition,
and this is for seven finalists.
This is the official Jumbotron Van Rookle farm.
Basically what will happen is that Morty Van Rookle, is very sad,
He... this is the first time in 40 years he can't be here
because he was undergoing surgery bypass four times,
But he will supervise us from Jumbotron.
Remember, I can see you from here, okay?
Looks like you are in a bed here with me.
- This is very good. - Morty Van Rookle III is,
um, he's like... a father figure to me.
Because I no longer talk to my real father.
I'm the owner / creator of dougherty and daughter realty show,
and I won it.
I'm not a finalist, but I won the entire contest a few years ago, and now...
yachting for the next day
I don't think it's wise, baby.
I will contribute around 50 percent.
No, I think that... We will talk about it.
- We will talk about this later. - Right, but...
We will definitely go on a cruise tomorrow.
This all starts
when I won this cooker's contest
and I use most of that money
to start the cruise tomorrow
to celebrate with my child.
I want to get some of your photos for my small photo album
One of my goals today
is to teach some of these members,
um, lessons about care.
Your pants sag, my darling.
I can see your ass It's not actually in Connecticut,
- So we charter their bus from New Jersey. - New Jersey.
Honey, I can't see your eyes. Say, "jizzle jizzle."
Now everyone says, "jiggy with me."
For most of them, they have never even seen water,
and so we will do it
experiencing a lot of possible things they never did again.
One, two, three, cheese.
Ooh, hoo-hoo.
Uh, don't shake your head too often because it's not a mask,
- that's your head - There is no reason to shake your head, you know.
- And you? - I'm Richard Pasternack
This is my wife, Patty.
Patty, hi.
Oh my God, you have enough...
Oh my God, you have fat.
Oh, here it is. There he is.
Ayooo... Ayooo... Ayooo...
Okay bye.
Hi, welcome to la Casa Merado,
home from the farm Van Rookle cook-off.
Sharon Solfest, this is Pauline Solfest.
- Lars Hagerbakke - Pauline Solfest,
I'm in the category of vegetables in the cook-off.
Okay, that's one.
I have one standard room
for Sharon Pauline Solfest.
No, I'm Sharon and Pauline.
Two rooms should be. We are engaged
This will be a little of our own time,
- a romantic getaway. - Actually,
we think about the real possibility,
Maybe make love later. But what I will tell you.
If this hotel only provides one room, we will accept it.
The decision to keep chastity until we get married
That is definitely the goal.
I mean, I think it's really wise to know someone actually out there before I get married,
You know, adaptation.
from inside.
Where do you want Lars to be in bed?
- No no. - There.
No, I choose.
- Let me use the folding bed. - Oh dear, that's crazy
I don't mind sleeping on a rollaway.
It's impossible, as a real man,
I'll go to bed with you with what I want to do to you in front of your sister.
So it's better, for our convenience,
I'd better sleep on a folding bed.
We can put the Bible among you.
Do you remember the story of the little boy and the kaka?
Yes. He likes this story. He says it all the time.
Now, this is a good story and this is a good story for our relationship.
He mixes the egg and the little boy tries to eat it.
"No, wait." Flour, he tried to eat.
- "No, wait." Sugar. - "No, wait." "No, wait."
"No, wait." "No, wait."
"Wait until kaka soecker is ready."
And I want to wait in our relationship until Kaka Soecker is ready.
Well, I'm willing to wait for Kaka Soecker
If you are willing to wait for kaka soecker.
I have to wait.
Wee, muffins... aah!
That's it, Muffin Man! Same as on TV.
- Now, Mr. Swazy... - Sweezy.
That's what I said.
There's a muffin here.
The Ladybug Briggs cake will be the determinant.
- They will win - OK
We will have the first
African American winners
from Van Rookle cook-off.
Of course, we don't know.
We know this will happen, but...
I am a master there.
I speak good technique, do you know what I say?
- I know. - OK
Slightly down,
just a little, like, leads to what our marriage will be.
We haven't even slept together.
Do you know when in college, they call me full throttle,
and that's for one reason.
I don't have media.
I don't have lower teeth.
I can't imagine being like this close to you, sleeping lying down...
- Yeah. - Without doing f-u-l-l throttle.
Don't get me wrong, I will always love,
At this time,
I tore it like a Christmas package,
but I can't do that
- I have promised myself
that I will keep this sanctity
I mean, I want this woman,
um... every day, uh... all day.
- But I... - And at night
- And at night. - Every day and overnight.
But I have to really hold back
from the thing that destroyed all the that I have done.
Is it strange if I put the sheets here
and hang it on between the two beds?
I shouldn't release my head.
Is that correct? Is that a rule?
I think I just broke the rule, but for TV,
That seems like a good reason.
This is Muffin Man
and Humans Muffins are our favorite mascot wearing a mask.
Use it again.
So yeah. I'm sorry, so the muffin man can't talk.
Muffins are muffins. So we don't talk to Muffin Humans.
We just... you can just hit the muffin man's stomach.
and he will giggle, and he is delicious.
I see...
Cassandra, you are a contestant...
It must be really exciting right?
Your hair is very beautiful.
To be a great chef, like me, you need that passion.
You need skills from inside and instinct,
and I have it It's all in my bones.
It's in my DNA, and unfortunately,
Cassandra gets my DNA from my ex-husband.
- I lack passion - He must be.
- I'm more like my father - you know, he does have it
One small muscle full passion there somewhere
for caregivers, and he goes with the little nanny,
and now we realize that we don't need men.
Men leave. Man left. That is what my mother always taught me.
- Men go - Men go
Men leave. They go.
Are you a contestant with Van Rookle farms cook-off?
I've been in the past.
Oh really? Tell me about that
Now, my name is Daneel Kuhar,
which I'm sure I might not have to tell you,
because I was in the competition three times
and then after you do it three times,
You are no longer allowed to do it.
- Three times and you're out - No.
Well, three times and then
You are the last dazzler, so...
Dazzler past Dazzler past Right.
I put out all the stops in the Idaho cinema
Because there is a woman there, Daneel Kuhar.
He is not a person who is good, and so is...
It becomes important for us to win the spudtacular.
He set the potato salad on fire.
Which, you know, is more difficult to do than you think.
It's not that easy to make a burning potato salad.
Wear this beautiful American bikini with yellow ribbons,
welcome troops back to the American chest.
S-h-a-r-o-n. S-h-a-r-o-n.
- S-h-a-r-o-n. - Yeah.
He will win the cook-off.
Um, I'm here to support my darling, the love of my life.
His name is Del Crawford. He will win with the coco nutty dream bar,
Del Coco-nutty's dream bar.
You will cook this damn thing,
You will win one million dollars and that's what it is for,
and then Sharon Solfest can suck it.
- Do I contribute to the recipe? - Right
No, I don't even want to go near the kitchen when it's being roasted.
- I move away. - No, that is part of the rules.
And is this a very big check?
- I mean, the size. - Oh yes, this is a good check.
This is one of those big and crazy checks.
- They gave it to you. - That is good.
Yes, you can stand on the podium,
You get a lot of confetti thrown at you.
You can enjoy your day in the sun.
Some of us will never have it.
I want a big check. I don't want to confetti.
This will bring the world by storm,
This is the recipe that he came up with.
Wow, love story on the farm Van Rookle cook-off.
There's nothing more good than that, right?
- In drinks-haha.
- Hi how are you?
- Not since the spudtacular, oh my gosh. - I know.
- I keep pouring. - That might be a little more.
He is in competition.
He is honey, me and I are here to support him.
That's very good. What did you make?
I did something brown.
And what's the name?
- This... - You don't know your name... oh.
I thought for a moment.
Let's talk real. That's not his girlfriend.
- What are you saying? - I will tell you what is happening.
They cheat.
- you don't know them - what are you saying
They cheat, because do you think the man can cook?
He doesn't even know the name of the recipe.
How do you produce recipes?
I mean, where did that inspiration come from?
Millions of dollars
It's like he is the puppet.
Like he made... And then he, like, yeah.
- Yeah, like that - In his defense, I have heard it seriously
that Hitler made a crème brulee. So...
Mark Thelonious monk Briggs.
Wow, I'm Cassandra dougherty.
Really? Kiss-Sandra? Well, I think I'll do it.
Are you a contestant
No, my mom is in the contest,
But, um, so I have a lot of down time,
if you know what I mean.
I'm in room 218.
- Oh, I'm so sorry - Oh, that's beautiful We are actually in room 598.
Oh good. Fifth floor. Fifth floor. OK.
- No... hi, my name is - hi.
- Is Victoria Douglas. - This is my mother.
- Nice to meet you. - Honey, can I get more gumbo?
Will you get me some? Oh.
- It's okay. - Can I... go get me some more gumbo?
- I'm really hungry. thanks. - Fifth floor. Fifth floor.
Nice to meet you Yes, it would be better meet me later. Ha ha.
Go get it some gumbo, my dear I want to warn you, he has mental illness,
obsessive attachment syndrome, OAS.
- attachment? - Yes, and what happened... yes, attachment.
It's like mine, it's like my Kryptonite for someone like mine
Now tell me something, what's your name?
My name is... my name, Victoria.
Well, Victoria, you too, I can see it the apple doesn't fall away from the tree.
- Can't - He likes celebrities.
He is a celebrity and even though I will never hear about him,
many people have.
Um... he keeps telling me.
One request, don't get drunk.
Very late.
- Daneel Kuhar - Oh, Daneel
Daneel, you know me - No. - Daneel Kuhar
- Daneel, Nancy - You know me, Nancy.
No, I don't know.
Why don't you take the plate to the table there
- and maybe... - I don't have enough hands.
It's okay, honey, You can do this.
that's all. Save us a table.
She's a little sick and she'll reach you
and he will never let you go.
He might name your children.
Oh, look at that
This is a little above.
That's it, my dear.
Have you ever met with important people?
What I found was a woman this cook, not offended.
I met a girl is really beautiful, but she's crazy,
But I think me and his mother might be connected.
- So I don't know - I want to...
Is he a contestant? Don't do anything that will disqualify the mother,
therefore one million dollars drives it.
What you get here is not worth millions of dollars.
Nice to meet you. I here with the chow channel.
I have to see my own microphone
because we just changed the network name.
- What's the name? - Munch time.
Oh, this is a much better name .
Damaging. Van Ruckle, okay Alright, I understand.
I understand. This is a name that is very difficult to remember.
- Contestants... - Become the rule for Van Rookle cooks quite simple.
Excuse me, let's move here.
I want to introduce our celebrity,
master ceremony, sir Gavin McCloud.
Welcome to the ship, ladies and gentlemen.
They have acquired Gavin McCloud,
as you can see, is the MC for the event.
Okay, alright, that is very sweet of you.
Thank you very much. You made me think I returned to the love ship.
It is my honor now to introduce you all
contestant entrance
And what will happen now are all contestants
is entering the stadium now.
Jericho and moonlight singing their way
to the stadium
Men here are taking pictures.
Look at that. People become very happy and, uh, you can feel it, uh...
It turns out to be an exciting event.
Various kinds of contestants are amazing here,
one pregnant woman There is a disabled woman here,
and see everything in their Van Rookle apron.
They all look very adorable.
We are happy to convey to you our three judges.
Our first judge is a leading journalist
from New York City.
- Greet David Lord.
I am a student editor from gourmet tongue magazine,
very... maybe these people will never hear it.
This magazine is very top and smooth for very fine palettes. I have a very subtle taste.
I have chosen wrong one of the top three shoots
in Manhattan for the last three years in New York magazine.
Maybe I should insure them.
Our next judge may not need an introduction.
You remember him from the Bob Newhart program He is a secretary at
- Mary Tyler Moore's Show
And at the event new new Bob Bob> Newhart
and he acts as secretary in the hallway.
Well, you know, me... this isn't the first time I'm with an unusual Van Rookle,
because I'm an interpreter of American prune farmers.
You know, after you have to eat pounds of plum,
- [this must be better.]
And the last one but is definitely not small,
He is the president of the Federated grocery store.
I want you to say hello Mike Sweezy.
I really like this process.
I like meeting chefs new ones coming,
and we have a club card, which is a good deal.
- Mm-hmm. Explain the club card. - And...
- Well, you get a discount. - Well.
And here's a special message
from the president Van Rookle farm,
loved and adored, Morty Van Rookle III.
- -Hey, welcome...
I love you. I love you, Morty.
For cooking from Van Rookle farm.
- Yeah.
A million dollars from my money Yes, let's look at some hands. Come on, put them there.
That's right, good.
Waves, baby Waves on the camera.
Waves. Good, that's good.
Thank you. Thank you, Morty, and your beloved lover.
I have a feeling that it will be a great weekend - become bulimia
Are you serious or are you kidding?
Jericho and moonlight.
I'm not trying to be a...
This is a cook-off.
No, I know but I need it from...
Jesus Christ.
Did you hear what he just said?
He asks if he can borrow a battery,
I didn't even joke, to our camera.
I am a judge, so I is the right person for the job.
So I will have many opinions,
I speak in my mind, and, um...
I'm a little dizzy, so is not easy for people
But in my opinion it makes my opinion a little sharper.
What is a real woman?
At this time, we will witness the lighting from the ceremonial stove.
I'm curious, Tim. Is this the idea?
- Yeah. - How do I know?
Leave flour!
That's... I'm very sorry I very sorry. I'm on the road here
Competition is like a field war here, which I love.
Oh, look at this They came here.
They take their attitude.
Really start feeling the excitement
and we will meet some of these people. Tell them really fast.
They are thinking about what they are doing.
They tried to open the package.
They tried to open their jar.
They tried to open their can.
They tried to cut their lemons.
They tried to prepare the recipe that might make them a big million dollar winner here.
I will tell you, I'm trapped in excitement.
Seventy-five pounds of margarine,
150 pounds of refrigerator biscuits,
57 completes all one million dollar prizes.
As a matter of fact, we will become the first African Americans
to ever win the Van Rookle farm cook-off.
Not even once. I mean, all black people in the world who cook,
- and none of them won.
The possibility of him not winning the cook-off,
You have a greater chance for me to wear wooden shoes
now and dance until they burst into flames.
- Yeah. - He will win the cook-off.
Sharon!
What's the matter, brother
Hi how are you? I'm Lars...
- Yes, I'm not - Hi.
- Hello, Negro - I didn't even see you here
Yes, I'm here with my fiance.
Who? I don't see no sister.
No no He is not a sister.
He stands there.
- Is he white? - Yes.
I heard they were white women crazy in the bedroom.
- Excuse me? - What?
Once we make love which is very sweet and slow,
I'm sure it will be a wild experience.
You haven't tasted the cracker?
Sorry?
You haven't tasted all the crackers?
My brother is a preacher and he got
more drawers than anyone.
You don't need to say it...
Okay, I really believe that you keep candy in the jar Until it's time to eat, okay?
- Why do you want to do that? - The candy is in the jar, okay?
We are authorized to use force at this time.
The competition has begun.
Miss, miss, miss.
They have to... oh shit, I have to go. Sorry mom.
At this time, don't make me take you into chokehold, lady.
I'm not... this is the wrong day , do you understand me ?!
Wow, excuse me, everything is fine.
Can I help you?
I'm Amber and I'm here
and I have been selected and I want to go in there and cook. I am sorry.
- Oh, we're a little late - Alright.
Yes, disqualified.
- No. - Yeah.
- Actually no, I don't. - You were disqualified
- Hey, hey, hey
Okay, we are all disqualified.
I won't win a million dollars.
Hi, blue earth
Hi, golden minutes senior day care.
Hello. This is Pauline.
This is Pauline.
You remember Pauline
Because I didn't tell him. He didn't tell me anything.
Very.
I feel angry because he is not... because of you...
Because I can help you, that's all.
I'm a little...
This is a dish vegetables, cream corn
For lactose intolerance, this is a good idea.
Not that he'll win, you know.
I really know that my destiny is to win because I have a vision that I will win Van Rookle farming cuisine.
- So that is something we both know. - Right
The Pope is an example that I always give.
I think whales are kind of men like,
"You know, I might won't be like that insurance salesman, I might be,
like, whale or something," you know.
So that's what happened to me
Do I know that is what will happen.
No, I'm sorry, You're late for...
- I mean, I can show it in the rulebook. - I realize we're late
We've been driving for two weeks.
No, no... there is con...
- No no No! - Sorry Sorry.
Miss, miss, miss. Sir, may I ask
to ask your woman give us the tag number?
- Don't call her woman - I'm sorry.
Do you have to start and end each conversation
by saying that I will not win the dish?
- Pauline - Whoa, sorry, sorry
contestants are allowed on the competition floor.
- I'm sorry, what's your name? - I'm Amber and I'm here
- Oh, Amber's tension - Yeah.
Well, I'm very sorry, but you...
It's okay. It's not polite, but it's okay.
Oh, this is terrible. I'm very sorry, but you were disqualified.
Please tell me what made you
from getting here on time
We take a man with tie pants,
what I want to say is not a good idea.
He took off his pants.
An incident occurred at a gas station
and I don't enter my finger anywhere,
and then I know we're in trouble and we walk
He doesn't insert any finger
and that's what we want to remember.
- I did nothing! - I'm American
This is part of the cooking drama.
Let him enter! Let him in! Let him enter! Let him in!
Something very interesting happened here where people advocate for some couples here
My name is Amber and I want to cook!
- Let him in. Let him in! - Sure, this is... great, let's let him in Reminder, he has...
35 minutes to complete the recipe.
- Where do I go? Where I go? Number sixteen
This is an amazing story here.
These people, from what I understand, have lived outside the car,
did everything they could to get here for this competition
hoping that won a million dollars.
Where is he? Where am I dear Where is he?
He usually opens all cans.
I have a little arthritis.
And now he will do the best and this is very dramatic,
- Let's watch him - I need my can opener We have picked up a guy somewhere in Iowa and one thing we turned to support Van,
she doesn't wear pants.
In the past... I don't know what to do.
Obviously we arrived at the gas station
and then I'm in trouble
because he doesn't wear pants.
I don't know him.
Because many people have talked about you.
Then I want you to know
that I will down in history Right along the side of Aunt Jemima
and Mrs. Butterworth's.
See, they are two black women,
colored gals if you want,
um, who made their mark in the world of cooking.
Now many people don't know that Mrs. Black butterworth.
Now, when you fill the bottle with the syrup,
There is no denying that he is black. You see what I mean
What...
What are you doing?
Wake up. Get it, put it on top.
Original in English
- I'm taking a break. - Oh, my God! It's like...
- There is no camera, no camera. - Get up! Help him.
- si muffin... - no camera
Embarrassing.
Gloves.
I don't like people it's at the door.
- Well, I think he did his best. - There, I don't like it.
I think he did his best.
Muffins do three things.
He waved, he giggled
and he hugs contestants who are happy...
God. Not me!
- This is blueberries. - - Some dishes that I can see with my eyes.
I don't need to feel it.
I don't even know if I can smell it.
I don't even know if I can approach it.
by looking at it, You lost, you lost,
You, um, must be arrested for that.
We are kind.
So the point is don't...
If someone has a pair of pants
and they want to go up, I guess don't pick them up.
It's okay.
Are you your own hair?
- That's very good. - Okay thank you.
- Do you do your own hair? - I did it I did
- What is happening? - My sister...
My sister married to a homosexual.
Are you saying homosexual?
Well, how do you know?
He is there.
Sharon!
It pisses me off and I want you to talk to him,
and I know that you happen to know a lot about love
and I need you to help me because I'm not...
Well, I have to tell you
I really am not a relationship counselor.
- Oh, captain - Really, I'm not even a captain.
Tell us what you made.
I make sweet potatoes,
which is technically vegetables, and I layer it.
I put sweet potatoes, thick milk,
marshmallows, baby marshmallows
I found that if you use a large marshmallow,
they don't, they don't melt,
- and then some chocolate above. - Chocolate?
You know I can't talk and grilling at the same time, okay?
Nobody knows... nobody thinks this is coming, but I do this.
Only... Nobody knows that.
I will never think of doing it.
- That's good. It's fresh - very original
So I know you want me to do it well, So, um, I have to say goodbye, okay?
- No no no no! - And then do you cook on stovetop?
I destroyed it from there.
Do I feel I've been pushing Cassi too hard?
Absolutely not. He needs every urge, every stab,
- Every kick I can give him - I need it. I need it.
- He needs it - I made this with Bunsen burners.
I made this, oh, I made it with a cigarette lighter
in a much smaller amount, but it really works.
- Yes, sure. - And it's not like, have you ever seen a show on TV?
where people are really fat must lose weight
and because of that they are sweating and they are sweating and they are crying and they are crying,
and it's like, "I can't go again, can't go anymore"
and their coach said, "yes you can, do it, do it, do it, you're fat."
You're beautiful, you're smart. Continue to say that
- I think I'm beautiful. I think I'm smart. - You don't have to be beautiful to win the cooking competition.
- This must help - You need to have a good recipe.
And you think mama won...
Mother's a good relationship with the judge, my dear.
Do you want some? There are raw eggs, fresh as possible.
Thank you, I want to taste some when it's finished.
If you can remember, when a judge passes,
sort of shake your hips. Always working for mom.
I'll talk to you later, okay? Okay bye.
That's very rude.
- That's - use more marshmallows.
Okay, I'm sorry Are you allowed on this floor?
Sir, you will need to sit back.
She's fine She's fine... She's fine
Rules are very strict here about letting people on the floor.
I say it again, hot shot!
Can't you hear me ?!
Leave it... Don't spill the coffee!
Your sister seems to think that, you know,
I have a little knowledge about relationships
because I'm a captain on a television program.
Well, you are the captain of a love ship.
No, but I want to admit it.
I'm just as stupid as the next guy.
Oh, you're too simple.
I want to tell you something.
You know, uh...
You can guide a horse to water,
But you can't make it drink.
Now maybe your fiancé doesn't like drinking water.
Oh, he likes water.
I don't... I need a can opener that works.
Ma'am, I'm trying to keep everything...
My mother always makes this dish
When I grow up, and I can't find it anymore and I don't... About six months ago, he left,
to run a little and we haven't seen it yet
in six, seven months, six or seven months.
So I really want to know where he is.
I really need a can opener that works.
Do you have an can opener that works?
Good luck.
I didn't mean that.
Love in my life is cooking.
This is very emotional.
Oh, are you nervous?
I'm so nervous I'm so nervous Do I have an influence on cooking or baking Del?
No, not at all. He taught me.
Have you ever heard the idiot savant?
That's it.
What are you saying?
We are really here, right?
We really did it.
Honey, I did it!
Yes! Yes!
This is very good too.
This is very good.
Alright, nice to meet with you, my dear I will look for you It shouldn't hurt. It shouldn't hurt.
Good. Nice to meet you.
Peace. Peace.
Peace, two fingers. Holla! Holla!
- What's wrong? - I need you to secure this area.
Oh, three black people together are too much for you.
Brother Swahili I'm there,
Oh, too many Africans at home.
I don't know if you think You are a chef or not,
but it's really looking for where it should be.
I'm cooking, honey - Cook. - I cooked it
- What? - Honey, do you want a taste?
Yes.
- do you want to feel? - Oh wait, oh wait
Good. Not yet.
I put evaporated milk.
Evaporated Milk
I just saw there is a little tension
between you two Is that really competition?
My brother, you know, is less than zero chance to win because there is actually no ever vegetable winner.
The possibility of an meteor falling into this room
and land directly in your hand.
Sharon has calculated the odds His brother, Pauline, won.
- Why did you do this? - What do you mean?
I'm here, okay I'm here. That is a big thing for me, okay?
- I'm very proud of you for that - I know, you are a family show bangs and I'm a job horse, but I got here, okay?
Why did you attack me?
It's like when I'm in the sun
and suddenly you...
And you insult me in front of other people
and you lowered me all the time.
I'm sick of that.
- Oh, I let you down - Yes, you did
I don't know what you're doing now.
Oh, by the way,
I didn't pay your Mastercard this month.
I think that maybe is the best for us...
Not talking
Good. I don't want to talk to you.
Are you married?
Uh... no
Um... Well, I have never met Mr.
Um, I'm engaged and my mother thinks that she is not suitable for me,
- and I think he's right - Well, I hate to bother you there,
But I know you want to go back to your cuisine and I don't want to hold you here.
Good luck to you and all the best.
Oh...
I have never had a badge.
I got a badge!
I've never had a badge before.
I tried doing some work police because I like badges,
but they say absolutely not,
and I also can't climb the stairs.
I was withdrawn by the police
and that's what made me think maybe this is perfect,
because I always end talking to them
and we get along pretty well.
I mean, and not so both when I was arrested,
But if they let me go which usually goes pretty well.
I burned my pie.
Yes, what is that?
Okay, we have a red code.
Red code! Fire in the hallway, what's wrong?
Now, what is that? Aisle two
- Where is that? What is smoking? - it's here
I have to go, mama.
Ah ah!
- is it burning? - Not here.
Cassandra, don't embarrass me.
Now, that's not fire. That is not fire.
I was called to fire. That's a baked cake.
Stop looking stupid!
- I'm sorry. - Don't apologize to me I mean, you have a little time.
If you want to make it again, you have time.
- You have the ingredients - Alright, I'll make it again.
I'll make it again.
I can make it again. I can make it again.
I will make it again and I will do it my way.
My name is Pauline Solfest and I'm the other...
- What did you make? - Cream of corn.
- Oh... - That looks good though.
Corn cream makes me sick, but good luck.
It makes me really sick.
Corn type cream... Never really changes shape.
I think it's coming in like coming out.
Do you concentrate Do you concentrate
Do you know what?
You can take this recipe and push it.
dear, listen to me Listen to me. Listen to me.
I never wanted to do this in the first place.
You made me do this
Do you know what? Because you have already been!
I'm not the one who ever is! I am not the person ever!
I taught him everything!
I teach you everything!
It really looks and it smells really good.
This is very good, and is once again very easy.
I mean, if you are blind, You can succeed.
You know, if you're blind, you can still cook, you know?
You have one minute again for Van Rookle's
- one million dollar contests
You have, like, thirty seconds.
Yes, just leave. Go!
Please submit your recipe right now.
This is not Browning! This is not Browning!
Do you have a match? Do you have your lighter?
The cuisine is not finished yet I thought he would go with it like that.
Everyone brings their food down.
He has to deal with it.
This is not Browning. This is not Browning!
I can't serve it if it's not brown.
This is what leads to,
the last time these people
are rushing to the station
Alright, I did it.
- I still have it
I have to disqualify you if food hits the ground.
- No, that's not it! - Other technical.
- I'm sorry. - baby, he said it touched the ground.
I think you touched the ground.
I didn't write it down. I read it.
So if you touch land, it is disqualified.
What will you do with million dollars if you win?
Excuse me, that's a very bad question .
I will fire him and I will get a new Van and I will find my mother.
the food has touched the ground,
and excuse me, but in my opinion Timothy's wish is taking a little too much pleasure in that reality.
I think he's a jerk.
This is the end of the first day on the R Van Rookle farm cook-off
and the tension gets higher. Today is very emotional.
We don't know who the seven finalists are.
We will know tomorrow. Meanwhile,
the contestants will go to tonight's party
to let their hair down a little and tear it as possible.
But there are some disqualifications.
Cassi has been eliminated today, is that right?
I'm very insulted.
Cassandra, here's your mother talking.
You are a puppy _ a little sick and sick,
and I don't want you to go home
until you get help with some mental health professionals.
I feel liberated.
I feel liberated now.
my father left us because he sucks, okay?
My father can't handle it, okay?
And whenever someone will come,
he will scare them.
Do you know what?
Tonight, I went to the first person I saw.
I will go to him.
And all the recipes come in
Nobody knows who will be in the fire circle,
the seven finalists.
So you feel fine about how it is today, huh?
- Yeah. - Alright, so maybe you will be in the fire circle tomorrow.
- He is shy. - I like chocolate cake.
- I like vanilla pudding. - Well. Well.
What is Yes!
You know, what if they both got into the final tomorrow?
Isn't that something?
If that happens, I might will grow acup
from below me and fly out from here ass first, okay?
That won't happen.
I question wisdom fraternizing
the company symbol is everything I say.
I question wisdom You go around with your hoo-has
sticking out of nothing.
Someone will drop meatballs there.
This biscuit is an opportunity for your arrival
to expand its reach into the black community.
Hey, remember that guy, Del Crawford?
- Oh, right, yeah - Remember him, I asked for a background check.
You cheat.
He is cooking your recipe This is very clear.
- He is the love of my life - Oh.
We meet love chocolate in France and you're jealous.
You pretend to the throne.
Not cool.
Do you know what, Daneel?
You will be caught.
Love your blouse I have one like that actually.
So, my favorite ice cream is pecan butter.
- What is yours? - Butter pecan
Oh, no! It is not that! It is not that!
I thought about it.
I think tonight is night.
I think... I think we should...
- Do it. - Do it?
We have to do it.
- tonight - Tonight
But Pauline is in the room...
No, he has that muffin guy.
He won't back for hours.
- Let's do it - Do it.
Let's really do it and do it fast and good.
Do it fast and good.
Alright, I'm really happy, give me a kiss.
Mmm.
You're hot Yes, I'm in room 598.
- I like the shirt - Oh thank you.
I managed to do it on the show sewing two days on blue earth.
- you sew - Yes, I sew a lot.
Work patterns, mostly work patterns.
I sew.
You lie.
Electricity cuts bias.
Are you really sewing? Alright, I repeat myself.
- Lars - Yeah, Del.
That's amazing. It was incredible.
You don't think everyone _ likes it, but rightly so.
- okay - Very good.
- Let's go. - huh?
Yes, let's go where except here.
How are you... You didn't make it
- No. - Banana.
- We have to enter. Go, leave, leave. - OK.
- I want to give you something - Good thanks.
- I'll be right back. - I'll see the decoration.
Look at the decoration.
Very...
- banana swing - Imagine that.
That's funny, isn't it?
A bar like this is called a banana.
I know you.
- really - David sir, hi.
- Hi. - My name is Lars Hagerbakke
Sharon Solfest is my fiance.
- And is he in the item? - We will get married
a little faster than I feel comfortable,
but we will get married.
You are in a bar called Banana.
If I talk to my sister, Pauline,
I will say that is 4:30
and I wonder where is my fiancee
Where is he?
- Where is he? - If I talk to my sister, Sharon,
I will say, "Sharon, shut up and stop talking to me
- so I can sleep." - You don't care
Lars may be in a ditch
But it's not too important for you.
Sharon, he doesn't have a car.
You don't live according to the words of our song.
Have you ever shown that you are my hero?
You are not all the ones I want...
You're not everything I want.
I can't fly more than a hawk because you sit in my buddy
Button.
Oh, that zip. Oh that's good.
working on your speech.
I will say it in the speech.
"I want to thank my sister..."
Make sure to keep on for at least half an hour,
because everyone is interested I know it's been said before, but I guess
I might say overall, you know,
"You like me, you really like me."
Dear Sir, help Sharon to have peace in her heart
and stop flapping the gums.
Dear sir in heaven,
please help Pauline, like,
back to his old personality
and how was it before before he was so great?
Stuff a ponytail in his mouth.
Do you think Jesus was involved with things like that?
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
They are not new.
They're men, okay.
They are just dancing people.
You didn't come to the bar called a banana for women.
This, um...
- OK. - Hey, I understand this
Hey. We, by the way, we are in a gay bar.
Put it behind your ear. Let me see that.
You look like Dolores Del Rio.
- you love him, don't you? - Yes, of course.
Look, that's what I said. Maybe love Streisand.
I learned my first Streisand literally before I could speak.
- Right - God.
Maybe it's a shame Annie got the gun.
God, get me... I need a drink.
Get this person something with an umbrella in it.
- I have something. - Well.
Doesn't that feel good?
- Yes, that's right - Sip freedom, my friend Sip freedom.
Feel the warmth of reception.
Let's dance, come on. Come on
Before we do it, can I?
Everyone, name I'm Lars Hagerbakke
and...
I'm also gay.
- Oh yeah.
My name is Lars Hagerbakke from Blue Land, Minnesota and I'm also gay.
You won't do this every time, right?
- What? - Big speech and everything
Sharon. Sharon.
I lost... the key.
How about the ditch?
- How about the ditch? - I don't understand - Are you in a ditch? - No, I'm not in a ditch.
I was in... I was in a bar.
- We... - Alright, I hope you have fun.
- I have fun. - We have been waiting all night.
- We haven't slept yet. - I am sorry.
I have something I need I share with you both.
We don't even have for apologies,
So know that I forgive you because I'm a good Lutheran.
- Sharon? - What?
I'm gay.
I know this will be a surprising surprise for you two, but I'm gay.
- No. - Yes.
- No no. - Yes.
- No no. - Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
I'm sorry, no
Lars, gay, like, choice, okay?
- Gay is like perm. - SH...
You can get perm. You can't get perm.
Gay is like slipping a comfortable sweater.
If it's an option to insert a comfortable sweater,
yes, I chose to use
My gay sweater and it tastes good.
Remember the story of boys and kaka soecker
where do we wait and wait and wait?
That is a kind of mistake.
Okay, here are these friends, my old friend who is salty.
They came.
You wait at...
You're waiting for something that will never happen.
We really have to go. Change it, okay?
Do you know what? I choose clothes for you.
I have to change my hair.
This is not my competition hair.
Alright, so get dressed. Come on, come on.
Sharon, I want you to know that it doesn't matter what happens,
I will always have for you forever.
Yes, Lars, because you will be my husband,
so you will be there We will be in the same house.
Sharon, you... Kind of in denial.
Lars, do you know what denial is?
Denial of words that are very negative for positive thinking.
No, in this case, denial is
You will try to marry a homosexual man.
There is a camp. This is called straight forward.
This is the place where you go if you're confused about you thinking you're gay
You worked on a craft project, improved your thinking...
Singing and Macramé will straighten someone?
I don't think so.
Oh, this is crazy It's crazy - Sharon - What?
I'm sorry.
If... are you... Will it be weird?
if I ask you for pink diamonds?
Is it un... it's uncomfortable... It's uncomfortable.
I'll go here for a while.
You don't go anywhere
That's... that's weird, isn't it?
I will... later, I have to get it later.
Okay, it's not strange at all. Here.
And actually, why didn't you clean it for me?
Because it's already covered by in chocolate pudding, okay?
I will... I will save it I, um, I have a cake to make.
I have a million dollars to win, so I have to go.
Come on, let's just go.
I'm rooting for you Women and men,
This is the time we are all waiting for.
It's time to announce the seven finalists.
Category number one,
in breakfast sunny and morning,
the winner is hot and tasty meltameeta stuffed biscuits,
ladybug Briggs, Atlanta, Georgia.
Yeah!
Circle the fire ring, ladybug!
- Mama, you have this - Here it comes
In the first category, pie and delicious cakes,
the winner is,
easy one cupboard death by chocolate cake,
Sharon Solfest, land blue, Minnesota.
Sharon, enter in the fire circle.
Sharon, you the best , I love you!
That's it, Sharon.
In... congratulations, there.
- Whoa! - In delicious salads and side dishes, the winner is...
Whoa! What are you doing?
Let me help you.
There is no way to get there.
I think there's a bit of confusion about how to enter the fire circle,
and I think it causes some people become embarrassed.
I'm sorry, honey We talked this morning about this.
There must be a way to enter into the circle of fire.
We still haven't found the way to get into that fire...
Ring of Fire.
I know I said it was a ring.
Well, bring someone here.
Go away, okay?
And on a delicious lunch,
the winner is cream cream chocolate coco-nutty,
Del Crawford, Tama, Iowa. Del!
- You did it - You did it He was a finalist.
Jennifer Watson...
Enter the fire ring, Jennifer!
Final finalists are vegetables vegetables,
is Pauline corn,
Pauline Solfest, land blue, Minnesota.
This is really interesting, and now this is a true blood match.
Ladies and gentlemen, two sisters compete for a million dollar prize.
Congratulations to all winners.
Good work, Del!
I'm sure your mother is proud.
He's dead, but my father might be proud.
Very proud.
I'm sorry about your mother We have our contestants in here, waiting to start.
Um, the last leg us one million dollars Van Ruckle ranch cook-off,
and I think there are seconds now,
contestants will start soon.
Grand prize finalist in ring of fire,
start your oven
- someone is approaching you - For what?
To win millions of dollars, is like sharing it with you,
- like that? - Oh.
I mean, don't think too much about it.
No, but I wonder, is it too late for me?
-to approach someone?
Do you feel sorry for anyone?
Is there someone that you will choose?
because you feel sorry for them?
In black leather clothing
is crying into a large mixing bowl.
Sharon.
Sharon. Sharon?
Sharon, I love you Sorry we didn't speak.
Come on. Come on
- You are my best friend. - You are also my best friend
Come on. Come on
You are my hero You're everything I want...
Honey, I will do what they do on TV programs.
You know, where they put people outside the island
or you have to be fired.
I will do what they call
keep under radar Well, you know, his girlfriend, he is a real person...
She's different, okay? He is a very different man.
Listen to me.
I will grab your arm really strong like,
Yes, because I can do what I want.
That's right, whatever you are...
What did you see?
Do you want to take care of your own business?
Listen, your recipe is not a Bible, okay?
No, this is none of your business.
No, I did that.
Hi.
See, if it doesn't win,
I will burn your house.
My grandfather.
You better watch your PS and QS.
There is something that smells like dirt in this ring of fire.
And I stand right next to it, okay?
Uh...
You leaked
How does it feel?
They don't say that I will be the only man.
Help me Please, please don't tell anyone - Pauline, I love you - I love you.
Smoke in the fire ring doesn't work for me.
I'm sorry, I didn't cook hickory chicken here.
No, I'm not a coconut bruise.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the last countdown.
Ten, nine,
eight, seven, six...
Five, four, three,
two, one The time is over! The oven is turned off!
Thank you very much, ladies and gentleman.
It's over and I'll be like that
takes you alive, million-dollar winner
- as soon as you find out. - final judging
How are you feeling?
Good. I feel very, very good.
There are biscuits meltameeta which are hot and delicious
and how do you feel, ladybug?
Everything is up to god now.
To the point. That's how it is.
And stuffed biscuits and by ladybug Briggs,
Atlanta, Georgia. This...
Ladybug Briggs, he has golden teeth.
This is a dish that causes a lot of buzz here.
Any mention of nails?
Let me ask the ladybug Briggs.
Oh, that's one of his nails.
Try to get it. There might be some false eyelashes there somewhere.
I don't know, maybe someone's wallet. Who knows.
I'm very touched by these women and that's a crazy person who came here
and cooking their hearts and souls out - with this strange and distinctive dish. - OK
But we have to really choose...
Choose a winner.
It feels the best.
- It doesn't feel the best. - For me it tastes good.
Well, you know, is feeling subjective.
It sounds like you push us towards this.
- No. - For evil reasons.
- I think it draws us in that direction. - Nefarious
And apparently someone likes it very much.
- Morty likes it. - Morty is not a judge.
Subject to us We need access to Jumbotron.
We want to put on tapes... do you know the tape I'm talking about?
- this is fixed - Of course, I'm the second.
- And me, I will remind the media. - Let me tell you,
federated food ingredients and Van Rookle farms
really need to support their support
in urban ethnic communities,
and for me, what is the better way to do it?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I will go to the media, I mean that.
Next door cousin I'm on the display.
Okay, okay, which one do you choose?
We now arrive at the climax from Van farm Rookle cook-off.
On the silver tray there is a million dollars recipe.
So without further ado,
winners and entries that can escape
with one million dollars money Morty Van Rookle
it's...
Del Crawford for him
Recipe for chocolate chocolate koko recipe.
- Del Crawford - I won! I win!
Justice! Justice! Justice!
I promise a story. This is one and a half stories,
You won't believe this.
watching and learning.
I used to run one...
- what? - yes!
This is not my thing. I mean, I'm not baking.
I don't like baking.
I don't like it... I like Chocolate.
What is this? What is this?
A gay bar?
I have to drop the phone, I think I blew it...
I want to hold that big check.
That person is a cheater!
- No, I mean so. - What?
He deceived my mother from a million dollars!
It won't go down like that!
Please calm down There is cheating on the farm Van Rookle cook-off.
This has never happened in history...
We will prepare a statement.
There is no need feared, people.
Take out everyone and that means.
Security guards at every door.
I want everyone to come out.
Excuse me, I need you outside.
A leopard doesn't change its place.
- Where - he just ran out
Oh yeah.
At this time, I will need everyone
to spread from this area.
I bring you life here from the farm Van Rookle cook-off
what might be the first event
cheating was once in the cook-off.
Well, it looks like three times the finalist, Daneel Kuhar,
has included his fiancee, Del Crawford, replaced him calling him from the audience
to request the recipe to win one million dollars,
a clear violation of the rules for cooking Van Rookle cooking.
Hey honey. check
- How are you? - Hi, dear.
Sounds like you're in pain. What is going on?
- The baby is coming, isn't it? - Shut up. I haven't... sh!
I honestly need to talk with my ex-fiance, Sharon.
Even though I no longer feel like that about women,
we still have a very special connection.
I understand, sir, and I celebrate your lifestyle But no one entered into this room.
Area sealed, black code!
Make a way for muffins. Make way for muffins.
that's all. muffins muffins
You're not a muffin...
Alright, Madam, You come with me.
You know, but I don't think it's time.
- baby, come with me. - No, no, I've seen you seen.
- I'm sure you're very good - Honey, it's me.
understand that I have my order.
From Mr. Whims himself!
Everyone, please, if you can,
if we can have your patience.
We are in a lockdown.
Anyone who is not the last contestant must wait here.
Did you hear that? We are in a lockdown.
That person is weird about security.
These Van Rookle people are balls nuts, I don't tell you.
- Do you let that person in. - The muffin person authorizes it.
- These are Human Muffins. - I didn't recognize it
Mama I was there!
The competition is over Mom.
Are you...
- Do you know Lamaze? - Yes, I have three.
Do your breathing Hi, I am Timothy's wish.
- Hi. - What is your name?
I'm a muffin person.
Okay, actually it's not
and we will appreciate if you take off our mascot.
Please now.
I can't let go. My wife gave birth.
Pauline. Pauline, hi.
Eh, can you get the apron, Pauline?
Thank you. thanks.
Uh...
- Nice to meet you again - put it down Put it
Who are you?
Who... I'm a muffin person.
You don't... yeah
- No. - Yeah.
- No. - Without my suit
- No. - That's how I look.
Why don't you wear your coat?
Well, I sell it.
We are in a lockdown, so I will need all of you
to leave smoke, and if you want to go too,
- You can go but you lose your worth. - What do you know, guys...
Sure. They share our families.
- There are more of us than there are of them.
So now you're listening he stirs the crowd.
We see muffins passing by, we see naked men passing by.
I think you're amazing and I hope you win.
Are you saying that to me because if I win,
Will you want my money or something?
No no.
- I want medicine - Honey, I will get a vasectomy.
You said a vasectomy, right?
- OK. - I don't mean to go forward.
I think you're as beautiful as the whole state of Minnesota.
Never in my life Has anyone ever said something to me like that?
Remove and open the door.
- I'm rooting for you - thank you
Whoever hurts themselves myself, I'm a lawyer.
Please,
will you hold it back, ladies and gentlemen?
I've never seen anything like this in my life.
I don't get paid enough money for this.
Hold. Hold on!
From the nosh network, I think we will finally hear
who is the final, final winner
from Van farm Rookle cook-off is,
after a lot of strom and drom, after a lot of emotions.
The judge and contestant finally entered,
we will finally hear who won the million dollar prize.
Women and men. Women and men,
the judges have decided in their unlimited wisdom and their desire to avoid legal claims,
that is the one million dollar cooking winner from Van Rookle farm
is Pauline Solfest for Pauline corn.
Oh no!
- Oh yeah! - I win!
My God...
Oh, I feel like I'm dreaming.
God. You all look at me right now.
I don't know what to say... I didn't prepare anything...
God.
This is America.
Whatever can happen, anyone can make it,
and this is the dream of a young woman.
You know, corn... Amazing.
Corn, that's good, it's sweet, you know.
Corn is good and I love corn.
What is that? Oh.
Thank you very much.
I won't realize this life if it wasn't for my sister who was supportive, Pauline.
You have decided to let I'm in the center of attention.
This is where I can really shine.
If it's not for him,
I won't have confidence to submit an application for cooking Van Rookle cook-off.
Thank you, judge, and thank you, Sharon.
All
I love you too.
Good evening, and welcome to Christine Merriweather's report.
Six months after the Van Rookle farm scandal, where are they now?
We will bring you into the life of the contestants,
Van Rookle judges and employees,
after the only cook-off
in the history of this country,
to trigger an investigation of the full senate.
This is a story that you don't want to miss.
Stay here.
And we caught the cheaters.
We have done it. We caught them.
We put them in jail.
Kuhar woman, we caught her because of tax fraud
to cheat the contest
You know he has that girlfriend, we got it too.
She's in a big house now.
We brought it to motorbike theft.
Not as big as costs,
but still substantial in my book.
- It's been my dream to have a check that is very big in my hand Not so many,
But the size, for very long time,
Since I was little, you know, and saw it on TV.
I'm like, "Dude, I hope I can survive
= a very big check someday."
I will tell the people on the Van Rookle farm,
make sure the check is small,
again not the actual size, the actual size of the check.
I will tell young people in this country,
Stay away from baked goods, they are fattening.
And I will say it too
open yourself to all kinds of experiences.
Kill someone, you know
I'm philosophical about that.
I'm lying here.
I don't think I've ever fully recovered from not winning
Now Thaddeus seems to think
there are several ways
I can still collect some income.
Thaddeus blew it for you, mama.
Mama, it's not your fault.
This is a mistake a particular Korean business
like salon beautiful pretty nails,
which cuts the corner with their ingredients.
They stopped using good glue there in that place.
That's what I'm talking about.
These Koreans take shortcuts.
Easy. You shouldn't bother Korean people.
They have suffered enough with Vietnam and all that. They don't need this.
Well, they came here to this boy's church,
shout and have You and everything.
What caused my mother to lose a million dollars.
So we have filed a claim for to make them pay for their negligence.
Now they get some.
Nothing is serious, is nothing to worry about.
You have to go there. That is your hoe Don't call my boyfriend a hoe.
That's the name, right? Ho?
Well, this is Ho-lin Lee who won.
I will go there.
No, I will go there!
People might go knife.
Ow! Ow!
After the competition, I... has no destruction.
I know that that's the the rumor you heard,
but I have woken up.
This amazing voice out of my body.
You know, it's like a...
I know there are lots of people out there
who hates their mother,
and if I can, like, reaching out,
Like, a 13 year old girl who, you know,
wants his mother to be hit in the head,
You know, with a hammer.
So I thought, "yeah, Victoria's secretion."
He apparently went to sort of a music career,
but he never... I tried to.
I give piano lessons but we have to cut it
When he was in second grade.
He, um, he bit the piano.
We don't talk. We haven't spoken.
Attend the house.
Military turn Then I found Sandra. She is fine.
At first he was grandiose.
He has a little attitude,
but we work on that, right?
When I stop talking, is always silence,
and now with Sandra,
Sometimes he talks, and I don't like it.
We didn't win the cook-off, but I think we did it better
- because of one of the products that Patty got
is a vitamin pill that does great.
Return it!
And because of this collection of joys,
we will not have a collection of joy anymore.
I got a vasectomy. I gasped
And the vasectomy is not as bad as which I thought would happen.
Enter and exit, snip and finish.
Is it like when the dog is castrated?
Yes.
Welcome, everyone, to gay and lesbian blue earth centers,
eh, also the shop
I'm trying now to do something called a gay day and it consists of gay players,
gay farm animals for children to come and pets.
So we need to invite people here.
Let children rub something gay and know it's okay to be gay.
I don't think anyone deserves wins more than Pauline Solfest
except Sharon Solfest.
Listen, I'm happy to be in the Solfest family,
don't get wrong about that,
even though my destiny is for me to say,
"I won..." you know,
But, um, it doesn't work like that
because someone interferes with my destiny,
and that person is Lars Hagerbakke and everyone knows that.
Nobody, nobody knows Lars Hagerbakke is gay, okay?
Nobody knows. He's not gay.
You know what, Sharon. You can deny that it is my destiny Because that's why all dominoes fall.
- everything is good - He is not happy with it
And then we start naughty snacks,
which is erotic cake.
- Wait, sexy sister ' - Sexy naughty girl,
- naughty snacks - Right
Because if there is one thing that I have learned
from winning millions of dollars,
it's because I'm a sexy girl.
She's sexy. We are in Peepa magazine.
We are very sexy in the spread.
I'm here to tell you what, we are sexy sisters.
- It doesn't brag - It's not bragging
- It doesn't brag, facts are what it is. - We speak the truth
So it's been six months and I have moved to blue earth
to be with Pauline and it will be great.
And my career has taken off.
I have really taken it in a completely different direction.
Um, now I'm...
and you can see my face,
That's what after being in a muffin costume for so long,
What I'm aware of is acting a lot
has something to do with seeing your face This is much more fun.
That looks good.
- Time to do wild - Already...
Famous several times.
- I love him. - I love you.
I love you.
- She's my sister. - And do you know what?
He stands in front of me in the darkest moment.
- I will never forget that - Always
And I'm grateful.
I hope to be the person who has to sleep there,
You know, the problem is. But I will do it.
This should be our romantic vacation - and so maybe we better... - there is a problem,
the word R, for romance
For what I feel for you,
I don't want to be in that bed with you with your sister in that room
- Why? - I will make love to you passionately and quickly
That would be embarrassing for me.
Well, that would be embarrassing.
Because dear, if I'm in this bed with you,
there will be nothing but knocking and sweating.
Do you know there's a saying, spooning leads to something,
and that leads to something that you don't want.
There are boys small, small children,
and his mother made Kaka Soecker.
He put sugar in and he tried to eat sugar and the mother said, "it's better to wait, it's better to wait."
Put flour, "it's better to wait."
Kaka soecker is ready and when we wait,
it practically melts in his mouth.
And that's what I want to be like for us.
When we make love,
I really want to melt in his mouth.
Well, you know what, I heard what you said and I took the lesson from kaka soecker
- and I want you to melt in my mouth as much as you do. - Of course
So I'll put the bed against the window and leave a big road if there is a fire or something like that.
Well, I'm worried about fire.
It's about me trying to protect myself from you.
In Africa, ordinary people build cages around them
from what I have read, to separate from the women.
This is like an African cage that I will build myself
and you might wake up and find me tied to it,
to protect yourself from you, because once I make love to you,
and I am telling you this now, this is a promise for our wedding night,
it will be very strong and so fast, hard and loving,
that you won't want to do it again for a long time.
- Let's save the fever. - I listen to you.
He is full of beans. I want to be in the American hotel room with my fiance,
But you want to be African cage, okay that's fine.
I think if everyone has a donut, we will calm down.
Everything is sexual for me right now.
- The hole in the donut is sexual. - Well, stop it.
I say if I wind on the bed beside you,
There will be a lot of noise and actions and sweat occur.
You did something that they called tempting fate.
That is a dangerous step.
what I will tell you.
- Uh... - you know, maybe get... you know,
- we can start walking. - Pauline,
If you want to see us make love now,
- You might also watch. - Oh no thanks You might also see, because this is what will happen.
- God.
Can you imagine You know what I have for you.
You know what was built for four years.
The second finger is pulled from the dyke,
There will be lots of fluid flowing.
Don't do it in front of your sister.
- Well, I just... - Please don't do it
- in front of your sister - Okay but you know,
I have to say, I just,
I think I can hold it myself.
I'm not angry. I'm not angry,
I say, and I'm not angry,
if I'm on this bed and he's in this bed,
I'll make love to him so fast and hard and full of emotion so You don't want to be here.